The worst login file I have ever seen...

login.bat

This is the worst login file I have ever seen.
I redacted a few things with '---' to protect the identity of the MCP who created it, and the idiots who kept updating it, and the unfortunate client who just ditched them because nothing ever worked right...

REM @echo off
REM universal login batch file
REM Put individual user settings below in the user section.

REM Modified by --- on 5/21/03 for new server
REM Modified by --- on 11/11/03 (added check for term server)
REM Modified by --- on 9/9/008 to reflect fact that server2 is now ntserver.

REM Put global settings in Common section.

REM NOTE: when checking username, be sure to use lower case!

echo Processing login for %username% on %computername%

:: following implemented by group policy
::call \\ntserver\netlogon\audit.cmd LOGIN

:: Drive mappings on TERMINAL3 are implemented by Group Policy.
:: This script has no effect on TERMINAL3.

REM IF /I %username%==joeu goto JoeU
REM IF /I %computername%==TERMINALSERVER goto Term
IF /I %computername%==TERMINAL2 goto Term2
IF /I %computername%==TERMINAL3 goto Terminal3
IF /I %computername%==nt_server goto Supervisor
IF /I %computername%==ntserver goto Supervisor


REM ****************************************************
REM Header section
set idrv=
set lpgrp=
set skiplp1=no
goto %username%
goto common

REM ****************************************************
REM User section

REM idrv is group-share directory.
REM lpgrp is the printer group (up=upstairs, wp=word processing,
REM	anx=annex)

:default
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=up
	goto common

:Administrator
	net use q: /delete
	net use s: /delete
	net use w: /delete
	net use z: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90 /persistent:yes
	net use s: \\fileserver\closed /persistent:yes
	net use w: \\fileserver\wp51 /persistent:yes
::	net use z: \\fileserver\ws_support
rem	install logon sync registry setting so logon script finishes before exploder starts
rem		regedit /s t:\admin\lognsync.reg
rem	disable opportunistic locking
rem		regedit /s t:\admin\opwksdis.reg
rem	install Service Pack 6a
rem		start \\ntserver\download\sp6a\update\update.exe
rem	install VNC remote control
rem		if exist c:\progra~1\orl\vnc\vncviewer.exe goto skipvnc
rem		start \\ntserver\ws_support\winvnc\setup.exe
rem	:skipvnc
`	goto common
rem	goto end


:Adam
REM	set idrv=
REM	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Alice
	set idrv=picommon
	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Barry
	set idrv=common
	set lpgrp=upxp
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Bill
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Carlene
REM	set idrv=
REM	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Chelsea
REM	set idrv=common
REM	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Darryl
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Debbie
	set idrv=wpcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use lpt1: /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1: \\ntserver\color /persistent:yes /USER:debbie debbie
	goto common

:joeu
	if /I %computername%==TERMINAL2 goto DEFB
	set idrv=admincommon
	set lpgrp=wp
REM	net use o: /delete
REM	net use o: \\ntserver\mas90 /persistent:yes
:DEFB
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	if /I %computername%==TERMINAL2 goto Term2
	goto common

:Don
	set idrv=idcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Donna
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Frances
	set idrv=idcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use lpt1 /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1 \\ntserver\hpinsdef /persistent:yes
	goto common

:Frank
	set idrv=escorcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Frontdesk
	set idrv=acctcommon
	set lpgrp=
	net use lpt2 /delete
	net use lpt3 /delete
	net use lpt2 \\ntserver\wpgen	/persistent:yes
	net use lpt3 \\ntserver\wpcorres	/persistent:yes

:Geoffrey
REM	set idrv=
REM	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common


:Heidi
	set idrv=common
	set lpgrp=up
	goto common

:Hillary
	set idrv=wpcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use lpt1: /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1: \\ntserver\color /persistent:yes
	goto common

:James
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common
:Jay
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common
:Jane
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common
:test
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Janet
	set idrv=wpcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use lpt1: /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1: \\ntserver\color /persistent:yes
	net use o: /delete
	net use r: /delete
	net use o: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
	net use r: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
	goto common

:jill
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:John
	set idrv=picommon
	set lpgrp=anx
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Josh
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=anxxp
	goto common

:Kara
	set idrv=idcommon
	set lpgrp=up
	goto common

:Karen
	set idrv=common
	set lpgrp=up
	goto common

:Kathy
	set idrv=escorcommon
	net use r: /delete
	net use r: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
	set lpgrp=up
	goto common

:Library
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=
	set skiplp1=yes
	goto common
:Linda
	set idrv=wpcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use lpt1: /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1: \\ntserver\color /persistent:yes
	goto common

:Mark
	set idrv=idcommon
	set lpgrp=up
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Matt
	set idrv=common
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common


:Melinda
	set idrv=picommon
	set lpgrp=anx
	goto common

:Mike
	set idrv=escorcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Nicole
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Sally
	set idrv=acctcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	net use o: /delete
	net use q: /delete
::	net use r: /delete
::	net use u: /delete
::	net use y: /delete
::	net use z: /delete
::	net use o: \\ntserver\mas90 /persistent:yes
	net use o: \\fileserver\ria /persistent:yes
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
::	net use r: \\ntserver\sqlbackup$
::	net use y: \\ntserver\backup$ /persistent:yes
::	net use z: \\ntserver\c$ /persistent:yes
	
	goto common

:Sam
	set idrv=wpcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Sandy
	set idrv=admincommon
	set lpgrp=wp
REM	net use o: /delete
REM	net use o: \\ntserver\mas90 /persistent:yes
	net use q: /delete
	net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
	goto common

:Staff
	set idrv=idcommon
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common

:Supervisor
::	if /I %computername%==NT_SERVER net use q: /delete
::	if /I %computername%==NT_SERVER net use q: \\ntserver\scan$
::	if /I %computername%==NTSERVER net use q: /delete
::	if /I %computername%==NTSERVER net use q: \\fileserver\scan$
::	if /I %computername%==fileserver net use q: /delete
::	if /I %computername%==fileserver net use q: \\fileserver\scan$
	goto end


:Training
	set idrv=
	set lpgrp=wp
	goto common



goto common

REM ****************************************************
REM Common section. Global settings go here.
:common


net use f: /delete
net use i: /delete
net use j: /delete
net use l: /delete
net use n: /delete
net use p: /delete
net use s: /delete
net use t: /delete
net use u: /delete
net use w: /delete
net use x: /delete

net use f: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
if defined idrv net use i: \\fileserver\%idrv% /persistent:yes
net use j: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
::net use l: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use n: \\fileserver\common /persistent:yes
net use p: \\fileserver\saga /persistent:yes
net use s: \\fileserver\closed /persistent:yes
net use t: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
REM net use u: \\ntserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use w: \\fileserver\wp51 /persistent:yes
::net use x: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes

goto %lpgrp%
goto up

REM ******************************************************
REM Printer groups section

:anxxp
	net use lpt2 /delete
	net use lpt3 /delete
	net use lpt2 \\ntserver\wpgen /persistent:yes
	net use lpt3 \\ntserver\wpcorres /persistent:yes
	goto end

REM Word Processing/Downstairs
:wp
	net use lpt2 /delete
	net use lpt3 /delete
	net use lpt2 \\ntserver\wpgen /persistent:yes
	net use lpt3 \\ntserver\wpcorres /persistent:yes
	goto end

REM Upstairs
:up
	net use lpt1 /delete
	net use lpt2 /delete
	net use lpt3 /delete
	echo IF YOU ARE ASKED FOR A PASSWORD just press Enter
	net use lpt1 \\ntserver\hpinsdef /persistent:yes
	net use lpt2 \\ntserver\wpgen	/persistent:yes
	net use lpt3 \\ntserver\wpcorres	/persistent:yes
	goto end

:upxp
	net use lpt2 /delete
	net use lpt3 /delete
	net use lpt2 \\ntserver\wpgen	/persistent:yes
	net use lpt3 \\ntserver\wpcorres	/persistent:yes
	goto end

REM Terminal users just need drive mappings
:Term

reg import c:\ttonly.reg

if /I %username%==karen set idrv=escorcommon

if not exist \\terminalserver\tmtemp\%USERNAME% mkdir \\terminalserver\tmtemp\%USERNAME%

net use * /delete /y

if /I %USERNAME%==joeu net use q: \\fileserver\mas90


net use f: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
if defined idrv net use i: \\fileserver\%idrv% /persistent:yes
net use j: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
::net use l: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use n: \\fileserver\common /persistent:yes
net use p: \\fileserver\saga /persistent:yes
net use r: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
::net use s: \\fileserver\msoffice /persistent:yes
net use t: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
REM net use u: \\ntserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use w: \\fileserver\wp51 /persistent:yes
::net use x: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use v: \\terminalserver\TMtemp\%username%


:Term2

REM Set Internet Explorer Cache to 50MB
reg add "HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Internet Settings\5.0\Cache\Content" /v CacheLimit /t REG_DWORD /d 0xc800 /f

reg import c:\ttonly.reg

if /I %username%==karen set idrv=escorcommon

if not exist \\terminal2\tmtemp\%USERNAME% mkdir \\terminal2\tmtemp\%USERNAME%

net use * /delete /y

if /I %USERNAME%==joeu net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==sally net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==matt net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==john net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==mark net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==mike net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==nirm net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==frank net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==barry net use q: \\fileserver\mas90
if /I %USERNAME%==chelsea net use q: \\fileserver\mas90


net use f: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
if defined idrv net use i: \\fileserver\%idrv% /persistent:yes
net use j: \\fileserver\sti /persistent:yes
::net use l: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use n: \\fileserver\common /persistent:yes
net use p: \\fileserver\saga /persistent:yes
net use r: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
::net use s: \\fileserver\msoffice /persistent:yes
net use t: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes
REM net use u: \\ntserver\--- /persistent:yes
net use w: \\fileserver\wp51 /persistent:yes
::net use x: \\fileserver\--- /persistent:yes

net use v: \\terminal2\TMtemp\%username%

goto end


REM ***********************************************************

:Terminal3
xcopy /Y "\\fileserver\wp51\word templates\normal.dotm" "%appdata%\Microsoft\Templates\"


:end