Realist's romantic love letter, Darren Ldl
This was originally somewhat written for someone I loved, whom shall not love me back. It's a finctional scenario that I thought would be quite romantic and could be an interesting discussion, but not meant to be an actual letter I'd write to the person. The original piece was in Chinese, I've translated it into English. Translation is rough around the edges, but close enough.
I am well aware of the idea that soul mate is at best a fictive hope. Further so, the assertion of existence of soul is quite simply illogical. It cannot be touched, cannot be seen, cannot be heard. It fundamentally cannot be measured. And quite obviously, a person's character depends solely on the composition of the brain, the development and memory. To put it bluntly, we are simply machines which fail to read ourselves. Overall, this is a ridiculous theory, a fairytale if you will. Some even believe in reincarnation! Ha! And love, love is merely a consequence of primal nature and pheromone. Who in the right mind would think there is any meaning more profound than just that. Moreover, humans are fickle creatures, without the ability to read one's mind, how could there ever be a case where the two would be in sync. For such a complex mechanical mess, it ought to be impossible to enquire whether the two are comparably emotionally involved.
However, humans are often self-contradicting, and naturally that does not exclude me.
Before meeting you, I never thought twice about being alive or dead - the difference between the two seemed insignificant. Yet, if I were to not exist, I would not have met you. You appearing gave viscera to my otherwise superficial and bare understanding of emotions. Although I cannot tell whether my preception matches yours, like our eyes might not show us the same blue, whenever I think about you, I can only feel confounding delight. Within this mangled world and mind, your voice gives me peace and clarity. You are an existence which makes me feel at ease, whose intention I feel no need to decipher or speculate, and I hope I am of similar nature in your view.
Meeting you was likely the first miracle in my life, falling in love with you would likely be the second. If by chance, I could be reciprocated then that would be the third. Lastly, despite going against all reasoning, I still faintly wish that beyond the rotting carcases, there is indeed more to one's existence, and then maybe we could meet again. And if what I've written in the beginning is unfortunately accurate, then I wish that after our death, there will be another similar to myself, and another similar to you, and utter dialogues similar to ours.
現實主義者的浪漫情書
其實我大概知道靈魂伴侶是不切合實際的想法。甚至其實靈魂本身就不是合理的現象，不能觸摸，不能看見，不能聽到，根本無法測量。也非常明顯地，人的性格特質單純取決於大腦結構，發展和記憶。說白了，我們只不過是無法解讀自我的機械罷了。總體而言，是極道愚蠢的想法，簡直天方夜談。甚至會有人相信輪迴，未免太過可笑。而愛情，只不過是本能和荷爾蒙作用，怎麼可能有更深的意義呢?加上人是善變的生物，又沒有讀心術，哪會有心靈相通的情況的可能性。如此復雜和錯亂的機械，根本無法確定一段關係中雙方是有擁有相同程度的感情吧。
但人類總是自相予盾呢，當然包括我在內。
認識你之前，我對存活和死亡並無過多的想法，兩者之間好像沒有分別，但如果我一早就不存在，那我就不可能會踫見你。遇見你，讓我對一向都不理解的情感開始有了多於書面上的詮釋。雖然我無法判斷我的認知是否和你的吻合，就像我所看到的藍色不一定和你的一樣，但想到你我都倍感不明的喜悅。在凌亂的世界和思維中，你的聲音讓我感到安寧。你是讓我不會感到壓力，不需要猜測的存在，而我亦希望我對你而言是相似的存在。
遇見你應該是對我而言的第一個奇跡，喜歡上你是第二，能收到你相同的回應大概是第三個吧。最後，儘管違背理知，我還是隱約的希望在不斷腐敗的軀體外還有其他的存在，然後我們可以再次相遇。如果我一開頭的文字不幸地是對的話，那我希望在死後會再一次出現與我相似的存在，然後再遇上與你相似的存在，然後再說上一番相似的話。