Generate technobabble (and optionally use them as demo git commit messages)

Babble.groovy

#!/usr/bin/env groovy

void usage(){
	println """
usage: ${this.class.name}.groovy [-p, -g] [n]

Generates technobabble.

	-p    Print n paragraphs instead of n phrases. An optional third
	      argument may be used to specify the number of sentences per
	      paragraph.

	-g    If the -g flag is present, then phrases are used to generate
	      empty commits in the git repository of the current
	      directory.

	n     The number of phrases to generate. Default 1.
	"""
}
verbs = [
	"Add",
	"Adjust",
	"Align",
	"Calibrate",
	"Change",
	"Construct",
	"Convert",
	"Correct",
	"Create",
	"Deconstruct",
	"Downgrade",
	"Encapsulate",
	"Run a level 1 diagnostic on",
	"Run a level 2 diagnostic on",
	"Run a level 3 diagnostic on",
	"Fix",
	"Implement",
	"Investigate",
	"Optimize",
	"Patch",
	"Readjust",
	"Realign",
	"Reconstruct",
	"Refactor",
	"Reformulate",
	"Remove",
	"Scan",
	"Update",
	"Upgrade",
	"Use",
]

adjectives = [
	"ambient",
	"anomalous",
	"asymetrical",
	"astrophysical",
	"atmospheric",
	"auxiliary",
	"electromagnetic",
	"giga-watt",
	"inverted",
	"ionic",
	"linear",
	"magnatomic",
	"magnetic",
	"microscopic",
	"modulated",
	"nucleonic",
	"optical",
	"oscillating",
	"phased",
	"photonic",
	"quantum",
	"rapid",
	"reciprocating",
	"scalar",
	"sonic",
	"temporal",
	"thermal",
	"trans-warp",
	"unknown",
	"verteron",
]

modifiers = [
	 "alternating ",
	 "anti-matter ",
	 "artificial ",
	 "audio ",
	 "baryon ",
	 "dampening ",
	 "data ",
	 "databanks ",
	 "dithering ",
	 "difussion ",
	 "e-m ",
	 "energy ",
	 "flux ",
	 "frequency ",
	 "fusion ",
	 "gravimetric ",
	 "infusion ",
	 "interface ",
	 "molecular ",
	 "nadion ",
	 "nano-",
	 "neutrino ",
	 "particle ",
	 "phase ",
	 "plasma ",
	 "pulse ",
	 "quantum ",
	 "space-time ",
	 "spatial ",
	 "subspace ",
	 "superficial ",
	 "system ",
	 "tetryon ",
	 "warp ",
	 "wavefront ",
]

nouns = [
	 "actuator",
	 "array",
	 "buffer",
	 "capacitor",
	 "conduit",
	 "configuration",
	 "continuum",
	 "controller",
	 "coupling",
	 "discriminator",
	 "distortion",
	 "disturbance",
	 "domain",
	 "effect",
	 "emitter",
	 "emission",
	 "field",
	 "harmonic",
	 "interference",
	 "initiator",
	 "inversion",
	 "matrix",
	 "network",
	 "pathways",
	 "pattern",
	 "phenomenon",
	 "relay",
	 "signal",
	 "singularity",
	 "stream",
	 "variance",
]

String pick(words){
	return words[new Random().nextInt(words.size())]
}

String babble(){
	return "${pick(verbs)} the ${pick(adjectives)} ${pick(modifiers)}${pick(nouns)}"
}

String paragraph(n = 5){
	return (1..n).collect { babble() }.join(". ") + "."
}

void commit(String message){
	StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder()
	def proc = "git commit --allow-empty -m \"${message}\"".execute()
	proc.consumeProcessOutput(out, out)
	proc.waitFor()
	println out
}

if(args.length > 0){
	if(args[0].isInteger()){
		Integer n = args[0] as Integer
		(1..n).each { print "${babble()}. " }
		println ""
	} else if(args.length > 1 && args[1].isInteger()) {
		Integer n = args[1] as Integer
		if(args[0] == "-g"){
			(1..n).each { commit(babble()) }
		} else if(args[0] == "-p"){
			if(args.length > 2 && args[2].isInteger()){
				nSentences = args[2] as Integer
			} else {
				nSentences = 5
			}
			(1..n).each {
				println paragraph(nSentences)
				println ""
			}
		}
	} else {
		usage();
	}
} else {
	println babble()
}

Sample output:

• Run a level 2 diagnostic on the electromagnetic infusion capacitor.
• Adjust the asymmetrical gravimetric disturbance.
• Readjust the thermal e-m discriminator.
• Patch the anomalous data discriminator.
• Realign the thermal fusion coupling.