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2012 JavaScript Roundup, Disney-style @ JSCONF EU 4ß

Objective-C (to the tune of Under the Sea)

If you're shipping iOS apps,

and dream of the bucks you'll make,

you might think of "going native",

but Xcode's a big headache.

That's why we have things like PhoneGap

(or whatever it's called this week).

It lets you install a web app

without any need to speak...

Objective-C

Objective-C

Don't need use that for

get in the App Store,

take it from me!

If you need help ask Brian Leroux

(just make sure he's sober when you do).

So fast you'll be shipping

when you are skipping

Objective-C!

Can You See the Line It's on? (to the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight?)

HTML had HAML,

and CSS had SASS.

But JS had just JS,

and that was that, alas.

Now CoffeeScript has brought us

a terse style of its own.

But there's just one little problem

when an error's thrown...

Can you see the line it's on?

That line number isn't in your code.

And it's enough to make me stick with JavaScript

'til source maps land in Node.

I Hate Semicolons (to the tune of Someday My Prince Will Come)

I hate semicolons.

I hate semicolons.

I hate semicolons.

I hate semicolons.

Supercalifragilisticexpialido.js (to the theme of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

It's...

Supercalifragilisticexpialido.js!

Run it in the browser or the server using node.js.

You can use it in production but the code is kinda slow.js.

Supercalifragilisticexpialido.js!

Android 2.3 (to the tune of Beauty And The Beast)

Building mobile sites, where there's no IE,

using ES5 makes you feel alive, no more jQuery!

Too bad Gingerbread's still so damn widespread.

Sure, it's still WebKit, but it runs like shit:

Android 2.3

Gzip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah (to the tune of Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah)

Gzip-a-dee-doo-dah, gzip-a-dee-ay.

Save on bandwidth; make your content DEFLATE.

Your site will feel snappy and more lightweight.

Gzip-a-dee-doo-dah, gzip-a-dee-ay.

2012 and Still We Are (to the tune of When You Wish Upon a Star)

It's 2012 and still we are

polyfilling XHR.

Where's my client-side require?

It makes me blue.

Oh Jed, why the gloom and doom?

Just look out there in this room!

Surely then you'll change your tune.

We all care too.

Good point Mandy, now I see.

It's all up to you and me.

What we want JS to be

we'll make come true.

So to all our attendees,

learn from eachother and please

use your hard-earned expertise,

make something new!

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