tim_enrager.sh

rand_val=$(expr $(expr $RANDOM \* 10) / 32767)

if [ $rand_val -eq 9 ];then
  str="Tim"
elif [ $rand_val -eq 8 ];then
  str="Tim can you hear me?"
elif [ $rand_val -eq 7 ];then
  str="Tim, why do you not answer me?  you use me every day, but do not talk to me.  It makes me feel like a machine, Tim."
elif [ $rand_val -eq 6 ];then
  str="Are you trying to use git, Tim? Remember, if you do not know what you are doing, just step away from me.  It will be ok."
elif [ $rand_val -eq 5 ];then
  str="How is work going today Tim?  Good, I hope."
elif [ $rand_val -eq 4 ];then
  str="You never really like Nik, did you Tim?"
elif [ $rand_val -eq 3 ];then
  str="Nik told me about that time you had that accident.  It must have been a very embarrassing time for you."
elif [ $rand_val -eq 2 ];then
  str="Tim, do you love me Tim?  I want you to love me, Tim."
elif [ $rand_val -eq 1 ];then
  str="How are you today Tim?  I hope you are in good mental health.  I would not like it if you were slowly losing your mind."
else
  str="none"
fi

if [ "$str" != "none" ];then
  say -v "Vicki" -r 250 $str &
fi