Annoying Version of `cd`

.aliases.sh

#######################################################
## Adds some frustration the `cd` command
## https://gist.github.com/dncrews/1ba8919b24b2e4569c2f
## Author: Dan Crews <crewsd@gmail.com>
#######################################################
#!/bin/sh

alias cd=annoyingCD

function annoyingCD () {
  \cd $@;

  # URL-ready Name of any Wikipedia article (will sometimes read the intro)
  article="React_%28JavaScript_library%29"
  # How often should this say something?
  # 1 will be 100% of the time
  # 100 will be 1% of the time
  oneOutOf=1


  # Don't change this. This just calls the method below
  annoying $oneOutOf $article;
}

function annoying() {
  oneOutOf=$1
  article=$2

  # Array of things to say: ( "Voice:Text" )
  thingsToSay=(
    "Whisper:cd"
    "Whisper:I can see you"
    "Whisper:nice butt"
    "Cello:droid"
    "Cello:dun dun dun dun dun dun dun doo dee doo dun dun dun doo dee doo dee doo doo doo doo dun dun dun dun dun"
    "Good News:I don't know how to lock my computer screen"
    "Whisper:change directory"
    "Alex: rm dash rf slash"
  )

  # If a wikipedia article is specified...
  if [ -n "$article" ]; then
    fetch=`curl -sL http://en.wikipedia.org/w/api.php\?format\=json\&action\=query\&prop\=extracts\&exintro\=\&explaintext\=\&titles\=$article &`
    fetched=`echo "$resp" | sed 's/.*"extract":"//' | sed 's/"}}}}//'`

    thingsToSay+=("Alex:$fetched")
  fi

  num=$[ $RANDOM % $[ ${#thingsToSay[@]} * $oneOutOf ] ]
  # echo $num
  # num=$(shuf -i0-${#thingsToSay[@]} -n1)
  echo $num
  speech=${thingsToSay[$num + 1]}
  voice=${speech%%:*}
  text=${speech#*:}

  (say -r 300 -v $voice $text&>/dev/null &);
}

install.md

Annoying CD

I made this to mess with a friend of mine who never locks his computer. You can annoy your friends too!

Installation

Just add the .aliases.sh content to your friend's .*rc file. Pick his preferred editor (the only difference is the file it dumps to)

Bash

$ curl https://gist.githubusercontent.com/dncrews/1ba8919b24b2e4569c2f/raw/1599926cdf6d15f82c2eb00e64751ca455240654/.aliases.sh >> ~/.bashrc

ZSH

$ curl https://gist.githubusercontent.com/dncrews/1ba8919b24b2e4569c2f/raw/1599926cdf6d15f82c2eb00e64751ca455240654/.aliases.sh >> ~/.zshrc

Both

$ curl -o ~/._new_alias.sh https://gist.githubusercontent.com/dncrews/1ba8919b24b2e4569c2f/raw/1599926cdf6d15f82c2eb00e64751ca455240654/.aliases.sh;
$ echo "\n\n### Added by your mean friend\nif [ -f ~/._new_alias.sh ]; then\n  source ~/._new_alias.sh\nfi" >> ~/.bashrc;
$ echo "\n\n### Added by your mean friend\nif [ -f ~/._new_alias.sh ]; then\n  source ~/._new_alias.sh\nfi" >> ~/.zshrc;