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@doublejosh
Created June 2, 2011 02:34
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takes an integer time/date and returns a user-friendly text string representation of now until then.
<?php
// -------------------- RETURN USER FRIENDLY DATE/TIME STRING -------------
function cuteDate($compared) {
if(!is_numeric($compared) || strlen(time())!=10) return 'date unknown'; // proper format check
$today= time(); // get it
$diff= $today-$compared; // subtract it
// return the cute string
switch(true) {
case $diff < 0 : { // ------------------------------- IN THE FUTURE -------------------
switch (true) {
case $diff > -120 : // ----------------------- Seconds (within 2 minutes)
return 'in just a moment'; break;
case $diff > -3600 : // ----------------------- Minutes
return 'in '.number_format($diff/-60).' minutes'; break;
case $diff > -64800 : // ----------------------- Hours
return 'in '.number_format($diff/-3600).' hours ('.date("g:i",$compared).')'; break;
case $diff > -172800 : // ----------------------- Yesterday (over 18 hours ago)
return 'tomorrow at '.date("g:ia",$compared); break;
case $diff > -604800 : // ----------------------- Day in the next week
return 'next '.date('D',$compared).'. at '.date("g:ia",$compared); // (lowercase L = long / uppercase D = short) break;
case $diff > -691200 : // ----------------------- One week from today
return 'in a week at '.date("g:ia",$compared); break;
case $diff > -1123200 : // ----------------------- Within two weeks
return 'in '.number_format($diff/-86400).' days ('.date('n/j',$compared).')'; break;
case $diff > -31449600 : // ----------------------- This year
return date('F jS',$compared); break; // (uppercase M = short / uppercase F = long)
default : // ----------------------- Over a year from now
return date("M jS, 'y",$compared); break; // (uppercase M = short / uppercase F = long)
}
}
break;
case $diff >= 0 : { // ------------------------------- IN THE PAST --------------------
switch (true) {
case $diff < 120 : // ----------------------- Seconds (up to 2 minutes)
return 'a moment ago'; break;
case $diff < 3600 : // ----------------------- Minutes
return number_format($diff/60).' minutes ago'; break;
case $diff < 65880 : // ----------------------- Hours
return number_format($diff/3600).' hours ago ('.date("g:i",$compared).')'; break;
case $diff < 172800 : // ----------------------- Yesterday (over 18 hours ago)
return 'yesterday at '.date("g:ia",$compared); break;
case $diff < 518400 : // ----------------------- Days still in the week
return 'last '.date('D',$compared).'. at '.date("g:ia",$compared); // (lowercase L = long / uppercase D = short) break;
case $diff < 604800 : // ----------------------- One week ago today
return 'a week ago at '.date("g:ia",$compared); break;
case $diff < 1123200 : // ----------------------- Within two weeks
return number_format($diff/86400).' days ago ('.date('n/j',$compared).')'; break;
case $diff < 1209600 : // ----------------------- Two weeks ago today
return 'two weeks ago'; break;
case $diff < 31449600 : // ----------------------- This year
return date('F jS',$compared); break; // (uppercase M = short / uppercase F = long)
case $diff < 31536000 : // ----------------------- Exactly a year ago
return 'a year ago today'; break;
default : // ----------------------- Over a year ago
return date("M jS, 'y",$compared); // (uppercase M = short / uppercase F = long)
}
}
} // main switch
}
?>
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