Jeremy Dunck's emails and direct messages to women in tech

Jeremy Dunck's emails

Here are the anonymized emails and DMs from Jeremy Dunck to three
recipients. Anything within square brackets is either a redaction to
protect anonymity or an addition to provide context. If you would like
to add any email or other documented interaction you have had with 
Jeremy to this document, contact board@lists.doubleunion.org.

Email and direct messages on Twitter #1:

[Context: Jeremy and the recipient of these emails and DMs have had brief
online interactions prior to these DMs.]

DM from Jeremy Dunck:11:04 PM - 01 Oct 13 I talked today w/
[redacted], former [redacted] board member, about anarchy, context,
ideology, inability to solve problems.

DM from Jeremy Dunck: 11:04 PM - 01 Oct 13 I suspect [redacted] is
irredeemable, and hope that DU can be the thing [redacted] should have
been. And I look forward to helping you in any way I can.

[Recipient does not reply. 6 days later:]

from: Jeremy Dunck <[redacted]>
to: [same recipient as the unanswered DMs]
date: Mon, Oct 7, 2013 at 10:09 PM
subject: dataviz for causes

 Hey [redacted], I was looking at your [redacted] post (linked from the
taskforce mailing list post), and noticed "dataviz for causes".

 This is a thing I want to do as well.  As an example, when Sandy
Hook happened, I was maddened that it took such an event to focus
debate on gun control.  So many people die from gun, but we only talk
about it when there's a newsworthy crisis.  Every day is a quiet
crisis, but it isn't newsworthy.  It felt to me that a good explainer
dataviz might help.

 I've studied dataviz a good bit, am passable with d3, and would love
to collaborate on this stuff.

 Let me know if you'd like to follow up?

---- 

from: [redacted]
to: Jeremy Dunck <[redacted]>
date: Wed, Oct 9, 2013 at 6:49 AM
subject: Re: dataviz for causes

I don't have the bandwidth right now for any new projects, but thanks
for thinking of the idea.

I realize I still owe you a follow up on supporting Double Union!

The biggest way to help right now is just donating money. Our big
project as we build out the space (that we have to get done before we
can have any public events) is getting the allergy-rific carpet
removed and the underlying cement floor sanded and sealed/stained. We
will probably do some fundraising around that soon, since it will be a
couple thousand dollars. If you were thinking of donating to support
Double Union, doing it early on (and announcing it publicly!) would be
a huge help.

Obviously, since it is a space for women and you wouldn't get to hang
out in it, I have no idea if donating is even something you'd be
interested in. But also it doesn't seem as transactional as that,
right? Looking at the projects we have on tap makes me so excited!
They are going to be internet-changing... and hilarious, and
useful. The amazing things that are going to come out of Double Union
are going to be good for everyone.

Somehow, I suspect you totally already get that though. That while you
won't be directly involved in being there / making projects, you'll be
a big part of the voice that shares and speaks about them, and vocally
supports women. And if that's the case and you do totally get that,
and still want to support us, heck yeah!

Do it!

[No reply until weeks later, just before an event Jeremy will be
attending and the recipient will be speaking at. This will be the
first time they have met in person.]

from: Jeremy Dunck <[redacted]>
to: [redacted]
date: Tue, Oct 29, 2013 at 11:48 AM
subject: Re: dataviz for causes

Hey [redacted], sorry I was slow replying to this - the tone of the
email is a bit odd. Yep, I know this is a space for women. I'm for
it. It seemed a bit hard-sell. Did I do something to make you feel I
didn't get it? :-/

Anyway, I'm unsure if I'm too late to help w/ the carpet removal, but
I've just paypal'd $200 to paypal@doubleunion.org.

[At the event, Jeremy sought out the recipient and had a long
conversation with the recipient during which she felt he stood too
close, dominated her time, and ignored her social cues to end the
conversation.]

Email #2:

[Context: No prior relationship beyond one-sided Twitter
"conversations." Recipient is a mailing list administrator for an
email list Jeremy is on.]

From: Jeremy Dunck <[redacted]>
Date: Fri, Jan 17, 2014 at 11:13 PM
Subject: Maybe take me off the [redacted] list?
To: [redacted]
Cc: [recipient's MANAGER at her place of employment]


Hey [redacted],

 I'm not sure if you're aware, but Double Union has banned me from
events. They haven't told me why, but I gather they've heard
complaints about me from enough members to be skeptical of my
trustworthiness.  Without hearing the criticism, I can't speak to it.

 Even so, I imagine you'll be active with DU, and in particular with
[Double Union board member].  I was booted off the DU list (I was on
it because I am an enthusiastic supporter).  After reflecting on that
for a bit, I thought I should point out I'm still on the [another
feminist mailing] list, and if you think it's appropriate, you should
take me off the list. [This mailing list has an unsubscribe link in
the footer of every email.]

 I plan to continue to being a supporter of diversity in tech, but I
realize that despite my efforts, I'm probably on a Bad Guy list now.
Boundaries are super-weird when they are invisible (at least to me?)
and so it's hard for me to know how to proceed with being helpful
here.  In particular, if I stay involved, I'm obviously going to cross
paths with people who secretly distrust me.

 There's no need to reply to this if you'd prefer not to. I'm CC'ing
[recipient's MANAGER... yes, her MANAGER] because he's a friend that
knows me well and is active with [this other feminist organization].
I wanted him to be aware that this is happening, because I want him to
be informed about dealing with me in this community.

 Thanks, Jeremy

Email #3:

[Context: Met recipient at a meetup, no significant prior
relationship.]

On Tue, Nov 12, 2013 at 5:21 PM, Jeremy Dunck <[redacted]> wrote:

    At the [event], I made a comment about you being young, and I
    think I made you uncomfortable.  I don't actually remember what it
    was in reference to - I think it was a pop culture reference.

    I think that might have come across as dismissive or not taking
    you seriously or singling you out.  I'm not sure how it affected
    you, but I could tell that I'd unintentionally done harm.

    I'm sorry.

@jdunck, you are coming across to me as likely more clueless than not. In the spirit of cluing you in: your decision to continue engaging with people who've made it clear they no longer want to engage with you reads as yet another example of the creepy behavior this post's calling out. I strongly encourage you to withdraw from further public discussion of this until you've had more chance to consider, process, and internalize the critiques people are making of your behavior. Otherwise, you run a good chance of furthering the harm that you've already done.

I just wanted to follow up, apologize, and retract part of my comment. "Shaming is bad" is a silencing tactic often used to quiet voices speaking out against someone of privilege.

I have witnessed a lot of harm that came from silencing criticism from people in non-privileged positions against someone with privilege. I should have known better. I'm sorry.