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Last active October 6, 2015 22:38
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How to code drunk

How to code drunk

Some people born with it, some people are self-taught on this, some people just discover how. How about a guide on how to code great software while still drunk as a cow?

Rules

  • You can add your patterns by forking this gist.
  • You must be drunk before sending a pattern.
  • Fucking format your patterns to fit the writing style. Learn some Markdown, that's good for you.

Patterns

This is a simple catalog of techniques and recipes for several drunk coding scenarios. Enjoy.

Pet Project Coding

  • Motivation: Just some fun
  • Place: Home

How to

Great after a harsh day of coding sober. Get home and fill you up with junk food and your favorite drink (I do recommend beer or whiskey, it has been proven effective).

Open your laptop and remember: always use git. ALWAYS USE GIT. You're drunk, you're going to mess things up. 90% of the time you're going to mess up. You're just after that 10% of clever, beautiful software solutions and you fucking need a tool to filter that tomorrow.

Be focused or you're gonna end up on Facebook, then a picture of a hot girl, then an asian-specific amateur porn website.

Drunk Dojo

  • Motivation: Speed, fast bootstrap
  • Place: A coding dojo

How to

Do not drink at the dojo, please drink before. I recommend something that takes longer to get you drunk, like beer.

You need to speed yourself up to enjoy the alcohol euphoria while it's still kicking, or you're gonna start yawning. Do not build project structures, test bootstraps or environments to keep everything clear. Do not use version control at all, it will slow you down.

Keep small goals in mind, they're easier to track when you're high. Try to speed up after each goal in a safe way, do not try that little sed line you saw yesterday and still don't know what the fuck those characters do.

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