This was daily challenge [2017-06-27] Challenge #321 [Easy] Talking Clock from /r/dailyprogrammer. I attempted this after about a day of self study and not really having a large understanding of Java or any other language. I used mostly only functions I knew and only used code I had googled if I could understand it. For the next step here I woul…

TalkingClock.java

import java.text.SimpleDateFormat;
import java.text.DateFormat;
import java.util.Calendar;
import java.util.Date;

public class TalkingClock {


    public static void main(String[] args) {

        DateFormat dateFormat = new SimpleDateFormat("HH.mm ");
        String dateString = dateFormat.format(new Date()).toString();

        System.out.println("Current time is " + dateString);

        Calendar now = Calendar.getInstance();
        int hour = now.get(Calendar.HOUR_OF_DAY);
        int minute = now.get(Calendar.MINUTE);

      //long winded way of translating time because I don't know any better
        if (hour == 00) {
            System.out.println("It's midnight ");
        }
        if (hour == 1) {
            System.out.println("It's one am ");
        }
        if (hour == 2) {
            System.out.println("It's two am ");
        }
        if (hour == 3) {
            System.out.println("It's two am ");
        }
        if (hour == 3) {
            System.out.println("It's three am ");
        }
        if (hour == 4) {
            System.out.println("It's four am ");
        }
        if (hour == 5) {
            System.out.println("It's five am ");
        }
        if (hour == 6) {
            System.out.println("It's six am ");
        }
        if (hour == 7) {
            System.out.println("It's seven am ");
        }
        if (hour == 8) {
            System.out.println("It's eight am ");
        }
        if (hour == 9) {
            System.out.println("It's nine am ");
        }
        if (hour == 10) {
            System.out.println("It's ten am ");
        }
        if (hour == 11) {
            System.out.println("It's eleven am ");
        }
        if (hour == 12) {
            System.out.println("It's twelve pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 13) {
            System.out.println("It's one pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 14) {
            System.out.println("It's two pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 15) {
            System.out.println("It's three pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 16) {
            System.out.println("It's four pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 17) {
            System.out.println("It's five pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 18) {
            System.out.println("It's six pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 19) {
            System.out.println("It's seven pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 20) {
            System.out.println("It's eight pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 21) {
            System.out.println("It's nine pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 22) {
            System.out.println("It's ten pm ");
        }
        if (hour == 23) {
            System.out.println("It's eleven pm ");
        }
        if (minute == 1) {
            System.out.println("and one minute");
        }
        if (minute == 2) {
            System.out.println("and two minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 3) {
            System.out.println("and three minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 4) {
            System.out.println("and four minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 5) {
            System.out.println("and five minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 6) {
            System.out.println("and six minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 7) {
            System.out.println("and seven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 8) {
            System.out.println("and eight minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 9) {
            System.out.println("and nine minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 10) {
            System.out.println("and ten minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 11) {
            System.out.println("and eleven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 12) {
            System.out.println("and twelve minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 13) {
            System.out.println("and thirteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 14) {
            System.out.println("and fourteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 15) {
            System.out.println("and fifteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 16) {
            System.out.println("and sixteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 17) {
            System.out.println("and seventeen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 18) {
            System.out.println("and eighteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 19) {
            System.out.println("and nineteen minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 20) {
            System.out.println("and twenty minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 21) {
            System.out.println("and twenty one minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 22) {
            System.out.println("and twenty two minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 23) {
            System.out.println("and twenty three minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 24) {
            System.out.println("and twenty four minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 25) {
            System.out.println("and twenty five minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 26) {
            System.out.println("and twenty six minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 27) {
            System.out.println("and twenty seven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 28) {
            System.out.println("and twenty eight minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 29) {
            System.out.println("and twenty nine minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 30) {
            System.out.println("and thirty minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 31) {
            System.out.println("and thirty one minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 32) {
            System.out.println("and thirty two minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 33) {
            System.out.println("and thirty three minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 34) {
            System.out.println("and thirty four minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 35) {
            System.out.println("and thirty five minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 36) {
            System.out.println("and thirty six minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 37) {
            System.out.println("and thirty seven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 38) {
            System.out.println("and thirty eight minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 39) {
            System.out.println("and thirty nine minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 40) {
            System.out.println("and forty minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 41) {
            System.out.println("and forty one minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 42) {
            System.out.println("and forty two minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 43) {
            System.out.println("and forty three minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 44) {
            System.out.println("and forty four minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 45) {
            System.out.println("and forty five minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 46) {
            System.out.println("and forty six minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 47) {
            System.out.println("and forty seven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 48) {
            System.out.println("and forty eight minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 49) {
            System.out.println("and forty nine minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 50) {
            System.out.println("and fifty minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 51) {
            System.out.println("and fifty one minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 52) {
            System.out.println("and fifty two minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 53) {
            System.out.println("and fifty three minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 54) {
            System.out.println("and fifty four minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 55) {
            System.out.println("and fifty fifty minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 56) {
            System.out.println("and fifty six minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 57) {
            System.out.println("and fifty seven minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 58) {
            System.out.println("and fifty eight minutes");
        }
        if (minute == 59) {
            System.out.println("and fifty nine minutes");
        }


        //Stupid comments
        if (hour >= 22) {
            System.out.println("Damn it's late");
        }

        if (hour <= 6) {
            System.out.println("Fuck me, it's early");
        }

    }
}