If— BY RUDYARD KIPLING (in JS)

If.js

var you = {};
var others = [];
// If you can keep your head when all about you   
// Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
if (keepYourHead(you)){
  looseTheirHead(others);
  blame(you);
}
// If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
// But make allowance for their doubting too;
if (trustSelf(you) && doubt(you, others)){
  you = doubt(you)
}
// If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
// Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
if (wait(you) && tired(you, others)){
  var lie = lie(others)
  lie.entertain(you)
}
// Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
// And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
else if (hate(you, others)){
  you.lookGood = false;
  you.talkLess = false;
}