Note that the following opinions expressed are strictly those of the lords of Hell. They do not necessarily represent my personal views.
E: Welcome one and all to Devil Debate! Where I summon two of the meanest, baddest Kings of Hell to duke it out (mentally) right here in the material world! Let's meet our combatants. In this corner, all the way from the Second Circle, the Godless, Envious Heathen of Lust, the Bane of Solomon, we have the King of Demons himself: Ashmedai "Ash" Asmodeus!
A: Pleasure to be summoned here. That was some wonderful goat blood! Type A, such sexy antogens!
E: Alright, and in this corner, from the fighting Sixth Circle, the proud "Lord on High," the Master of Greed and Gluttony, we have the god of the Philistines himself: Ba'al "Bub" Zebul!
B: Bigger fan of type M, and more than 20mL, and I told you not to call me that!
A: What's wrong Bub? Scared of a few flies?
B: Big talk coming from a lowly Earth-demon.
E: Calm down! Calm down. We'll have plenty of time for insults later. I have summoned you (at great personal expense, I might add, goat blood ain't cheap) for one purpose and one purpose only: debate. So let's get right to it. Today's question is:
E: While E Pluribus Unum has been the de facto motto of the United States since the 18th century, "In God We Trust" was made the official motto in 1956 under President Eisenhower. Another law signed that same day required the phrase to appear on all US currency and coins. The debate is whether this phrase should continue to be the official motto of the country, or if instead it should be switched to something else.
B: That's it? Of course it should be the motto. Make people proud of their religion and country, and then BAM! We swoop in and get their souls when they least expect it! Plus, I'm the Lord on High. How do we know they're not talking about me?
A: Wait, seriously? E Pluribus Unum would be so much better! If they put their faith in humans instead of a god, then they will come to us all by themselves. We don't have to lift a finger. And pluribus has 13 letters; all the better to cause misfortune!
A: Besides, "In God We Trust" couldn't work in the long run anyway, it's against the American Constitution.
E: Ash, why would you care about the Constitution?
A: It makes more sense to exploit something legal than shoehorn in something illegal. We devils pride ourselves on being Lawful Evil. And this is as illegal as it gets. Just take a look at the first amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." Putting God in your motto seems very much to be establishing a religion.
B: Hold up, what religion are you talking about? It just says God. We could be talking about Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, the Great Congregation of Zebul. This one phrase is not creating some sort of national church.
A: Maybe not, but it is certainly giving a preference for monotheism over other religions. What about the polytheistic Hindus? Or the poly- or a-theistic Buddhists? Wait, what about the atheists? How am I going to reach my quota without the god-damned atheists!? Yes, it may be a trivial violation of the Establishment Clause, overlooked because of its inconsequentiality, but that does not make it legal.
B: No, what makes it legal is the fact that it is legal. What about the 2004 Supreme Court case Elk Grove Unified School District v. Newdow? Justic O'Connor specifically said that there was no Constitutional violation, not even ones "so slight that the courts are obliged to ignore them."
E: Whoa, Bub, since when were you the legal scholar?
B: Hey, all devils are lawyers. Part of the job description. Oh, and Steve got us all HellPhones with Wikipedia. Anyway, she called the motto an example of "ceremonial deism." From the 1984 case Lynch v. Donnelly, phrases like the motto are "protected from Establishment Clause scrutiny chiefly because they have lost through rote repetition any significant religious content."
A: Repetition can make a phrase lose its religious meaning? How does that make any sense? It's like saying that the phrase "Heil Hitler" would lose its political context if it was used as the traditional greeting in Germany for the past 75 years.
B: 693
A: ...What?
B: That's how many words it took to get to Hitler. Debates always tend towards Hitler, so I like to keep a mental count of how long it takes. In this case, 693 words. I think that's a new record, I should let the guy know when we get back...
A: That's beside the point! Christians have repeated the Lord's Prayer, often by rote, billions of times throughout history. Does that make it any less antagonistic towards Devil-kind? Also, why call that category "ceremonial deism?" A deist believes in a god that does not or cannot currently interact with the physical world. They certainly wouldn't put any "trust" in that god. This entire legal argument is just asinine! Its legal now, technically, but that doesn't mean it should be legal. The Supreme Court is not infallible: in 1855, it was technically law that even free African-Americans were not citizens of the United States under Article III. But the Dred Scott decisions has been described by legal scholars as "the Court's greatest self-inflicted wound" and the "Supreme Court's worst decision."
B: Maybe that's what you think, slacktivist, but what you think doesn't matter. If the Supreme Court says that someting is constitutional, then it is constitutional, end of story.
A: Fine, I guess its legal then. Doesn't seem like a stable legality to me, but that isn't the question. The question is whether it should be legal. Not only does everything I say still stand, but so do non-legal arguments. See what each phrase says about American values.
B: I am! "In God We Trust" shows a deep-seeded pride for American's predominantly Christian culture, and it emphasizes some higher, external authority. Those are sentiments that are easy to co-opt for evil, especially if you convince the masses that you are the representative of that authority. It will make meeting our quotas a piece of cake! In contrast, E Pluribus Unum focuses on drab like "unity" and "fellowship." Where is the pride of individualism? We'd never get any souls if people took that motto to heart. Not to mention that putting "In God We Trust" on money is the perfect way to combine God and greed. I can't let that kind of opportunity go to waste!
A: You are not understanding, it is not just about the words themselves. Almost 90% of Americans want "In God We Trust" on money. Keeping it reinforces the democratic norm of deferrence to a supermajority. It would do us better to sow instability and discontent instead. Plus, keeping "In God We Trust" on currency makes the idea of faith ubiquitous. It is so much harder for people to lose their faith if God is plastered on everything of value. America needs to change the motto to something godless.
B: America, godless, with the Great Zebul in their midst? Never gonna happen. Even before "In God We Trust," they still had annuit cœptis on the seal and currency, which the State Department, Mint, and Treasury all translate as "He [God] has favored our undertakings." I mean, it was only that over the more explicit deo favente, "with God's favor," because it had 13 letters.
A: But it is so easy to turn that phrase pagan with a little history lesson. It comes from the Aeneid, book IX, line 625, and the "he" was Jupiter! I mean, you could have asked Virgil yourself. He eats at your palace all the time!
B: Well maybe that's because your circle has nothing to eat but the su...
E: Whoa! Hold on there! There could be children reading this! Let's pull this back guys. Both E Pluribus Unum and In God We Trust are on our money. This is about the motto.
A: Wait... Ethan's right!
B: About what?
A: All of these statements are already on our money and in the public consciousness. It doesn't matter what the official motto is! Godless heathens will have their pretentious Latin!
B: And the believers will have their co-optable statement of faith! And all is wrong in the world! I think that wraps things up here.
E: What...? But...
A: This was fun! We should debate again some time. Call us back whenever you want, Ethan!
B: But only if you stop calling me Bub. Anyway, let's get back downstairs. Hitler told me the most hilarious joke the other day. Two rabbis walk into a...
E: Wait! Don't go! You didn't reach a conclusion! I... shoot. They're gone. Just ran out of goat blood too. Well, I guess that's it for today. I'm sure they normally wouldn't reach such agreement, but I guess it makes sense for a topic as trivial as this. At least I know I can call them back for heavier debates in the future. Until then, this has been the very first Devil Debate! Signing off.