Riot's Servor Script

servor-chat.rb

#!/usr/bin/ruby

puts `pwd`

Dir.chdir File.dirname(__FILE__)

puts `pwd`

# Servor client for @theriothq.
# Be careful moving things up and down as some strings cause deadlocks.
# I don't know why, but I imagine it's something to do with memory
# conflicts as we're adding callbacks to asynch code. Bit funny.

require 'xmpp4r/client'
include Jabber

Dir.chdir File.dirname(__FILE__)

# initialize critical variables
jid = JID.new "riot-servor@gmail.com"
password = "" # as if we'd tell you
mainthread = Thread.current
boner_count = 0

# Tell the service we're online
@client = Client.new(jid)
@client.connect
@client.auth(password)
@client.send(Presence.new)

# Output to stdout real quick
puts "Connected ! send messages to #{jid.strip.to_s}."

@jaconda = "riothq@jaconda.im/Jaconda.1231231"

def say(message)
  @client.send Message.new(@jaconda, message.dup.to_s)
end

# Let the guys know
# say "Servor is alive and ready to do your bidding!"

# This is our thing.
@client.add_message_callback do |message|
  begin
    if message.type != :error
    
      # Let's hope nobody else messages us...
      @jaconda = message.from
    
      body = message.body.to_s.clone
    
      # I imagine this is a fairly self-explanatory line.
      boner_count += body.scan('boner').length
    
      # Messages start with "My name: " so let's remove that
      first_colon = body.index(':').to_i + 2
      # and get their actual message
      text = body[first_colon..-1].to_s
    
      # If we start with "servor," everything else is a command. If it's open X, we open x.
    
      if text.downcase[0..14] == "servor, volume "
        volume = text.downcase[15]
        
        if volume.to_i > 6
          say ["That's probably a bit much.", "I don't think Knight Frank would appreciate that.", "At this hour?", "No way, dude."].shuffle.first
        else
          `osascript -e 'set volume #{volume}'`
        end
    
      elsif text.downcase[0..11] == "servor, run "
        say "Say please."
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..18] == "servor, please run "
        command = text[19..-1].to_s.clone
        if command.match('rm -rf')
          say "I don't think that's a great idea."
        else
          say `#{command}`
        end
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..13] == "servor, fetch "
        file = text[14..-1]
        `curl -u #{ENV['jaconda_username']} -F "upload[file]=@#{file}" https://riothq.jaconda.im/api/v2/rooms/riothq/uploads.xml`
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..13] == "hey, servor"
        say "Heyaaa!"
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..13] == "thanks, servor"
        say "My pleasure :)"
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..12] == 'servor, open '
        say  ["Okey doke!", "Just a second!", "Opening it now!", "Your wish is my command."].shuffle.first
        `open #{text[13..-1]}`
        
      elsif text[-8..-1] == ", servor"
        response = [
          "That's what I was thinking.",
          "Yeah.",
          "Hmm, I think you're right.",
          "Probably, yeah"
        ].shuffle.first
        say response
      
      elsif text.downcase[0..7] == 'servor, '
        command = text[8..-1]
      
        # This is the main list of "servor," commands. Add more if you like.
      
        case command

          when "smudge"
            `afplay -v 5 smudge.mp3`
          when "charge"
            `afplay charge.mp3`
          when "warface"
            `afplay warface.mp3`
          when "how you doing?"
            say "Here's my vital statistics, friend: #{`uptime`}"
          when "how you feeling?"
            say "I'm feeling pretty good!"
          when "boner count?"
            say "Boner count so far: #{boner_count}"
          when "what song is this?"
            say `osascript -s o song.scpt`
          
          when "next"
            `osascript next.scpt`
          when "previous"
            `osascript previous.scpt`
          when "pause"
            `osascript playpause.scpt`          
          when "play"
            `osascript playpause.scpt`
          when "unpause"
            `osascript playpause.scpt`
          
          when "quieter"
            `osascript -e 'set volume 1'`
          when "quiet"
            `osascript -e 'set volume 2'`
          when "unquiet"
            `osascript -e 'set volume 3'`
          when "loud"
            `osascript -e 'set volume 5'`
          
          when "partymode"
            say "Really?"
          
          when "partymode --really"
            `osascript -e 'set volume 7'`
          
          when "no!"
            `osascript -e 'tell application "System Events" to key code 53'`
          
          when "close"
            `osascript -e 'tell application "System Events" to keystroke "w" using command down'`
            `open -a Plainview`
          when "dashboard"
            `open -a Plainview`
          
        end
      end
    
    end
  rescue => exception
    puts exception.inspect
  end
end

Thread.stop
@client.close