php_sucks_exhibit_a.php

#!/usr/bin/env php
<?php
$arg = 'T';
$vehicle = ( ( $arg == 'B' ) ? 'bus' :
             ( $arg == 'A' ) ? 'airplane' :
             ( $arg == 'T' ) ? 'train' :
             ( $arg == 'C' ) ? 'car' :
             ( $arg == 'H' ) ? 'horse' :
             'feet' );
echo $vehicle;
echo ($arg == 'H')?1:0;