twitter trumpify

trumpify.js

// ==UserScript==
// @name       trumpify
// @namespace  http://rossdoran.com
// @version    0.1
// @description  adjusts the aesthetics of donald trump's twitter timeline to match his level of intellectual expression
// @match      https://twitter.com/*
// @require http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.2/jquery.min.js
// @require https://gist.github.com/raw/2625891/waitForKeyElements.js
// @copyright  2014 ross doran
// ==/UserScript==

// todo: remove hyperlinks, they ruin the otherwise quite comfortable suspension of disbelief that a presidential candidate might actually be writing these tweets out on construction paper                
//     - perhaps turn links/quotes into 'stickers'?
//     - we can start with a simple white rounded rectangle box and a nice black font on top
//     - can branch out to colors or sparkles maybe

// we should change the way links quotes work.
// form an array of indexes of links and quotes.
// the first is an array of quotes. it ties quote pairs together and then adds an endquote at the end if there is an odd number.

// then the next is an array of links. it searches for "http" and then looks for the next space, or calls it the end if there is no next space

// each of these spans are recorded as what they are

// todo: does donald trump ever reply to someone without putting a period in front? does he ever converse with people like human beings? i cannot test this edge case because i have not seen it happen, and perhaps never will
// todo: check retweets
// todo: package into chrome extension

var bg = ["#FFEF6C","#A4B1FF","#70B772","#B77085","#FDE9F4","#8AADA2","#FFCDA6"];
var rainbow = ["red","orange","blue","purple","green","darkyellow","lightblue","lightgreen","lightred"];

var colorIt = function(s){            
    var s2 = "";
    for (var i = 0; i < s.length; i++) {
        // do moz/webkittransforms for scale, rotate, translate. randomize values for each
        var transforms = "";
        var reverse = 1;
        var angleCeiling = 30;             
        var angle = Math.floor(angleCeiling / 2) - Math.floor(Math.random() * angleCeiling);                
        var tx = Math.floor(Math.random() * 5);
        var ty = Math.floor(Math.random() * 10);
        if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 140) < 2)
            reverse *= -1;
        var transforms = "-moz-transform: scale(" + reverse + ", 1) rotate(" + angle + "deg) translate(" + tx + "px," + ty + "px);" +
           "-webkit-transform: scale(" + reverse + ", 1) rotate(" + angle + "deg) translate(" + tx + "px," + ty + "px); -o-transform: scale(" + reverse + ", 1) rotate(" + angle + "deg) translate(" + tx + "px," + ty + "px);" +
            "-ms-transform: scale(" + reverse + ", 1) rotate(" + angle + "deg) translate(" + tx + "px," + ty + "px); transform: scale(" + reverse + ", 1) rotate(" + angle + "deg) translate(" + tx + "px," + ty + "px);" +   
        "display: inline-block;";

        s2 += "<span style=\"color:" + rainbow[Math.floor(Math.random() * rainbow.length)] + "; " + transforms + "\">" + s.substr(i, 1) + "</span>";
    }
    return s2;
}

function trumpify (jNode) {    	
    if (jNode.parent().data()['screenName'])
    {  
        var tweetParent = jNode.parent(); 
        // console.log(jNode.text());
        console.log("rt? " + screenNameCheck);
    }
    else
        var tweetParent = jNode.parent().parent();
    var screenNameCheck = tweetParent.data()['screenName'];
    if (screenNameCheck == 'realDonaldTrump')
    {
        var t = jNode.text();
        var d = "";
        var q = "";        
        
        if (t) // if tweet starts with '"', remove 'smart' quotes and de-trumpify the inner text (trump uses quotes when replying so this greatly aids in legibility)
        { 
            t = t.replace( /\u2018|\u2019|\u201A|\uFFFD/g, "'" );
            t = t.replace( /\u201c|\u201d|\u201e/g, '"' );      
            var firstQ = t.indexOf('"');
            if (firstQ != -1) // there is at least one quotation mark
            {
             //   console.log("quotes detected");
                var lastQ = t.lastIndexOf('"');
                if (firstQ == lastQ) // this ridiculous test case means that donald trump forgot to end his quote with quotation marks, which he does a lot, like way more than you would expect
                {
                    q = t;
                    t = "";            
                }
                else if (lastQ != -1) // if there is a quote, leave it out of the formatting. this will break if there are multiple quotes/scare quotes used but honestly who cares. if the answer is you, feel free to fix it
                {
                    d = t.substring(lastQ + 1);
                    q = t.substring(firstQ, lastQ + 1);
                    t = t.substring(0, firstQ);
                }      
            }
            
        }
        // console.log(t + "| & THEN |" + d);
        var firstSpan = "<span style='line-height: 120% !important; color: blue; font-size: 40px !important; font-family: pastel; src: url(http://fortserious.thecarcadero.com/crayon/pastel.ttf) format (\"truetype\");'>";
        jNode.html(firstSpan + colorIt(t) + "</span>" + q + firstSpan + colorIt(d) + "</span>");                    
        if (t.length > 1)
        {
           var bgc = bg[Math.floor(Math.random() * (bg.length - 1))];
if (jNode)
{       
    jNode.attr('style','padding: 7px;background-color: ' + bgc + ';');
}

        }         

    }

}

waitForKeyElements (".js-tweet-text", trumpify);