the best placeholder text ever

RikerIpsum.h

//
//  RikerIpsum.h
//
//  Based on http://www.rikeripsum.com
//  Created by @frijole on 3/19/13.
//

#import <Foundation/Foundation.h>

@interface RikerIpsum : NSObject

// all the riker ipsums
+ (NSArray *)rikerIpsumArray;

// grab a randon one...
+ (NSString *)randomRikerIpsum;

// ...or more than one.
+ (NSArray *)arrayOfRikerIpsums:(int)numberOfLines;
+ (NSString *)stringOfRikerIpsums:(int)numberOfLines;

@end

RikerIpsum.m

//
//  RikerIpsum.m
//
//  Based on http://www.rikeripsum.com
//  Created by @frijole on 3/19/13.
//

#import "RikerIpsum.h"

@implementation RikerIpsum

static NSArray *rikerIpsum;

+ (NSArray *)rikerIpsumArray
{
    if ( !rikerIpsum )
    {
        rikerIpsum = [NSArray arrayWithObjects:
                      @"Shields up! Rrrrred alert!",
                      @"Our neural pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns.",
                      @"Fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise.",
                      @"Besides, you look good in a dress.",
                      @"They were just sucked into space.",
                      @"Sorry, Data.",
                      @"Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur, wholeheartedly!",
                      @"The Federation's gone; the Borg is everywhere!",
                      @"Travel time to the nearest starbase?",
                      @"Mr. Crusher, ready a collision course with the Borg ship.",
                      @"Computer, belay that order.",
                      @"Your head is not an artifact!",
                      @"The unexpected is our normal routine.",
                      @"When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book?",
                      @"Smooth as an android's bottom, eh, Data?",
                      @"The game's not big enough unless it scares you a little.",
                      @"In all trust, there is the possibility for betrayal.",
                      @"Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody.",
                      @"Flair is what marks the difference between artistry and mere competence.",
                      @"Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you.",
                      @"Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named \"Enterprise.\"",
                      @"What's a knock-out like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?",
                      @"Wouldn't that bring about chaos?",
                      @"Not if I weaken first. ",
                      @"Well, that's certainly good to know.",
                      @"Commander William Riker of the Starship Enterprise.",
                      @"I'm afraid I still don't understand, sir.",
                      @"I will obey your orders. I will serve this ship as First Officer. And in an attack against the Enterprise, I will die with this crew. But I will not break my oath of loyalty to Starfleet.",
                      @"My oath is between Captain Kargan and myself. Your only concern is with how you obey my orders. Or do you prefer the rank of prisoner to that of lieutenant?",
                      @"Yesterday I did not know how to eat gagh.",
                      @"I recommend you don't fire until you're within 40,000 kilometers.",
                      @"That might've been one of the shortest assignments in the history of Starfleet.",
                      @"We finished our first sensor sweep of the neutral zone.",
                      @"I'll be sure to note that in my log.",
                      @"Mr. Worf, you do remember how to fire phasers?",
                      @"Captain, why are we out here chasing comets?",
                      @"You're going to be an interesting companion, Mr. Data.",
                      @"I suggest you drop it, Mr. Data.",
                      @"Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy.",
                      @"We have a saboteur aboard.",
                      @"When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book?",
                      @"Your shields were failing, sir.",
                      @"And blowing into maximum warp speed, you appeared for an instant to be in two places at once.",
                      @"But the probability of making a six is no greater than that of rolling a seven.",
                      @"You enjoyed that.",
                      @"For an android with no feelings, he sure managed to evoke them in others.",
                      @"Is it my imagination, or have tempers become a little frayed on the ship lately?",
                      @"Now, how the hell do we defeat an enemy that knows us better than we know ourselves?",
                      @"I'll alert the crew.",
                      @"Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you. Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody.",
                      @"Sure. You'd be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi, or Worf.",
                      @"Now we know what they mean by 'advanced' tactical training.",
                      @"This should be interesting.",
                      @"We know you're dealing in stolen ore. But I wanna talk about the assassination attempt on Lieutenant Worf.",
                      @"Earl Grey tea, watercress sandwiches... and Bularian canapés? Are you up for promotion?",
                      @"Mr. Worf, you sound like a man who's asking his friend if he can start dating his sister.",
                      @"Maybe we better talk out here; the observation lounge has turned into a swamp.",
                      @" Did you come here for something in particular or just general Riker-bashing?",
                      @"Congratulations - you just destroyed the Enterprise.",
                      @"I can't. As much as I care about you, my first duty is to the ship.",
                      @"You did exactly what you had to do. You considered all your options, you tried every alternative and then you made the hard choice.",
                      @"Why don't we just give everybody a promotion and call it a night - 'Commander'?",
                      @"I am your worst nightmare!",
                      @"What? We're not at all alike!",
                      @"About four years. I got tired of hearing how young I looked.",
                      @"Ensign Babyface!",
                      @"A lot of things can change in twelve years, Admiral.",
                      @"I'd like to think that I haven't changed those things, sir.",
                      @"I've had twelve years to think about it. And if I had it to do over again, I would have grabbed the phaser and pointed it at you instead of them.",
                      @"A surprise party? Mr. Worf, I hate surprise parties. I would *never* do that to you.",
                      @"Then maybe you should consider this: if anything happens to them, Starfleet is going to want a full investigation.",
                      @"We could cause a diplomatic crisis. Take the ship into the Neutral Zone",
                      @"and attack the Romulans.",
                      @"Worf, It's better than music. It's jazz.",
                      @"Talk about going nowhere fast.",
                      @"Wait a minute - you've been declared dead. You can't give orders around here.",
                      @"This is not about revenge. This is about justice.",
                      @"The look in your eyes, I recognize it. You used to have it for me.",
                      @"You bet I'm agitated! I may be surrounded by insanity, but I am not insane.",
                      @"Computer, lights up!",
                      @"How long can two people talk about nothing?",
                      @"I think you've let your personal feelings cloud your judgement.",
                      @"Well, I'll say this for him - he's sure of himself.",
                      @"The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with a redundant melacortz ramistat, fourteen kiloquad interface modules.",
                      @"Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for 75 years?",
                      @"Damage report!",
                      @"I guess it's better to be lucky than good.",
                      nil];
    }
    
    return rikerIpsum;
}

+ (NSString *)randomRikerIpsum
{
    int tmpRandom = arc4random_uniform([[self rikerIpsumArray] count]);
    NSString *randomRikerIpsumString = [rikerIpsum objectAtIndex:tmpRandom];
    
    return randomRikerIpsumString;
}

+ (NSString *)stringOfRikerIpsums:(int)numberOfLines
{
    NSMutableString *rtnString = [NSMutableString string];
    
    for ( int i = 0; i < numberOfLines; i++ ) {
        [rtnString appendFormat:@"%@ ",[self randomRikerIpsum]];
    }
    
    return rtnString;
}

+ (NSArray *)arrayOfRikerIpsums:(int)numberOfLines
{
    NSMutableArray *rtnArray = [NSMutableArray array];
    
    for ( int i = 0; i < numberOfLines; i++ )
    {
        [rtnArray addObject:[self randomRikerIpsum]];
    }
    
    return rtnArray;
}

@end