Listen.
Long ago there were the original six labels, forged with what little was left from the making of the universe. Into their hands the orderly operation of everything was entrusted.
Everything GREEN touched, bloomed. YELLOW, ORANGE, and RED bonded into the licks of flames. PURPLE was their stately serious queen.
And, for the first time anybody could remember, the universe was tranquil.
Oh, and BLUE.
The other five thought little of their youngest sibling. To BLUE went the least desirable jobs.
BLUE was given Sky, where oxygen was thin and the air hot. So BLUE made birds, who glided and used to be dinosaurs.
BLUE was given Water, where no oxygen even went. But ever ambitious and bright, BLUE made fish, who swam and were iridescent.
Finally BLUE was given Night, the least visible part of each day. Not a problem for BLUE, who tinted Night with potluck parties, fireflies, and violin music.
Still after all this they made fun of him, on AIM. It was cyberbullying, the most electronic form of bullying.
As it so often does, time passed. BLUE grew dark and brooding. It sharpened its label corners and warped its hue. It tried more and more dangerous blending modes. Overlay. Multiplication. Linear burn. And, at its nadir, subtraction.
It became the color of unvisited links, leading our developers’ browsers to a feature specification for INFINITE LABELS. It gave us the key to a garden where anybody could make any amount of labels, unshackled from the hard limit of six. No more six flavors of ice cream. No more six days of the week. No more only the first six Fast and the Furious movies. BLUE showed us there could be a different way.
“Are you sure?” we asked. “What will you do when you are no longer special?”
BLUE smiled sadly. “We will leave and return to where we came from.”
“The others,” we said. “They’ll be furious at you.”
“I do not fear anger. I am BLUE LABEL.”
With that we deployed THE INFINITY to all our platforms. We watched as the original six gathered their belongings and returned to the Sky BLUE had created for them, where against the Water’s falling, they became one long band. This long band of color shined well into the Night. It merrily arced over all the stringed music and floating markets, against a backdrop studded with stars – the very stars you can give by reviewing Trello at your local app store. It was the first twenty-four hour rainbow.
THE END
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Trello 2.8 is Ithkuil for “category.” Thanks for using the Trello app. You can as always follow us on the infrequently updated @steveplustrello Twitter account. We have fixed a bug that caused many people to briefly experience what it would be like if humans were always born on the same day. (For example, it would probably be the biggest holiday.)
This is probably the best iOS update description that has ever graced my screen. Kudos 😃