Real-world benchmarks

haskell.sh

$ time ghc --version
The Glorious Glasgow Haskell Compilation System, version 7.6.3

real  0m0.074s
user	0m0.006s
sys	0m0.012s

nodejs.sh

$ time node --version
v0.10.15

real  0m0.013s
user	0m0.009s
sys	0m0.003s

ruby.sh

$ time ruby --version
ruby 1.9.3p194 (2012-04-20 revision 35410) [x86_64-darwin11.4.2]

real  0m0.058s
user	0m0.029s
sys	0m0.026s

time python -v
real 0m0.000000002s
user 0m0.000000000s
sys 0m0.0000000000s

take that suckers

@droope, would've been better if you had same number of zeros everywhere.

@droope Also, that's not actually the command to print python's version (try -V).

Wow, hy is awfully slow. I guess I'll have to stop using it.

% time hy --version
hy 0.9.10
hy --version  0.05s user 0.02s system 97% cpu 0.075 total

WHAT??!?!?! My code, and this benchmark are a standard industry best practice, highly recommended by all the professionals in this industry.

I have no clue what you two are on about;

time php -v
PHP 5.4.9-4ubuntu2.3 (cli) (built: Sep  4 2013 19:32:25)
Copyright (c) 1997-2012 The PHP Group
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2012 Zend Technologies
php -v  0.02s user 0.01s system 87% cpu 0.032 total

time php --version
PHP 5.4.15-1~quantal+1 (cli) (built: May 12 2013 22:24:11) 
Copyright (c) 1997-2013 The PHP Group
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2013 Zend Technologies
    with Xdebug v2.2.1, Copyright (c) 2002-2012, by Derick Rethans
php --version  0,01s user 0,02s system 97% cpu 0,029 total

sykop5am@hppro ~ % time gcc -v
Using built-in specs.
COLLECT_GCC=/usr/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/gcc-bin/4.7.2/gcc
COLLECT_LTO_WRAPPER=/usr/libexec/gcc/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/lto-wrapper
Target: x86_64-pc-linux-gnu
Configured with: /var/tmp/portage/sys-devel/gcc-4.7.2-r1/work/gcc-4.7.2/configure --prefix=/usr --bindir=/usr/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/gcc-bin/4.7.2 --includedir=/usr/lib/gcc/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/include --datadir=/usr/share/gcc-data/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2 --mandir=/usr/share/gcc-data/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/man --infodir=/usr/share/gcc-data/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/info --with-gxx-include-dir=/usr/lib/gcc/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/include/g++-v4 --host=x86_64-pc-linux-gnu --build=x86_64-pc-linux-gnu --disable-altivec --disable-fixed-point --without-cloog --without-ppl --disable-lto --enable-nls --without-included-gettext --with-system-zlib --enable-obsolete --disable-werror --enable-secureplt --enable-multilib --with-multilib-list=m32,m64 --enable-libmudflap --disable-libssp --enable-libgomp --with-python-dir=/share/gcc-data/x86_64-pc-linux-gnu/4.7.2/python --enable-checking=release --disable-libgcj --enable-libstdcxx-time --enable-languages=c,c++,fortran --enable-shared --enable-threads=posix --enable-__cxa_atexit --enable-clocale=gnu --enable-targets=all --with-bugurl=http://bugs.gentoo.org/ --with-pkgversion='Gentoo 4.7.2-r1 p1.6, pie-0.5.5'
Thread model: posix
gcc version 4.7.2 (Gentoo 4.7.2-r1 p1.6, pie-0.5.5)
gcc -v 0.00s user 0.00s system 13% cpu 0.015 total