part1.srt

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are we meant to speak people which is people who do I want to discuss right 

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do you want hello Sir together later that 

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I think they're good 

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okay 

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yeah okay for me 

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yes I can do that and it is a 

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hello otherwise this hands like 

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the second check you're gonna get 

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the registar whenever yes okay 

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I am I reading 

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I'm jealous however the pharaoh's 

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we've we've lots of arguments take the school 

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yeah 

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yeah 

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hi guys 

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yeah I mean it's pretty formal 

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your carrots 

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right right 

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okay 

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hi everyone I'm irenie 

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Kenneth and where the family rose we've known each other a really long time 

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hello 

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the time is we get plus years eve 

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5 years 

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626 we dated off and on for 6 years in high school 

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so to say we've grown up together 

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I like the claim have credit for those years 

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you don't get half credit do you have a ring on that's what we say 

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I say apparently you have another philosophy so 

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we've known each other rely on time and we 

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this year will be 21 years of marriage 

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do you have any kids or anything 

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yeah you can do that part out we have 2 kids 

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we have a daughter that 17 years old 

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her name's Kalila and we have a son that is 13 years old and he is the third he's act Kenneth born Fambrough the third 

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we like 

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their keepers there you go 

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okay so once you tell me a little bit about your story together how you met and how the relationship came about and I know and he even told me that there was some ups and downs on that journey a little bit and just in time to get to know each other breakthroughs and stereotypes and things like you just finished your have your relationship came to me naturally yeah 

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well we met in high school and Kenneth and I both ran track 

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I was really fast and Kenneth was kind of slow but 

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really the truth 

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he went under and in college but I'd like to say that but when he 

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we met actually my friend liked him and said that we word and trying to create ways to hang out with him but I wasn't looking 

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and for a relationship and then Kenneth began to like me and not my friends 

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but that was okay because she she didn't know what you want and I don't think but when can it ask me out and I guess is the role awkward part of our story 

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how would you say it 

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she was a racist 

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to put it lightly 

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so I'm originally from Chicago and we moved to my mother remarried and moved to Alabama when I finished high school in Alabama and so the 

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dynamics between Chicago and Alabama just the both social economic and 

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you know really just 

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culture culture 

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it's good work 

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culture are completely different you know heavy south obviously Midwest 

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not to say that there is a racism in the Midwest 

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you just this just looked at a little differently 

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and so moving from Chicago to Alabama just brought up so many different eye opening experiences that and also brought forth a little bit more racism than I even knew existed 

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and one of which was you know kind of my encounter with irenie 

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so the answer here 

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I 

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my family is Egyptian 

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I don't even know any one in my family that was an Egyptian at least to this point when I'm at Kenneth 

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and he was a 

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my dad was a professor at the university of Alabama 

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and I think that 

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here's the weird part about it is is that is not something that I 

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and formulated a thought like it let me think about African Americans and when I think about them and 

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and I'm gonna come up to this you know really educated a systematic way of what I think about them 

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when you feel like you're on the outside which I often did as an Egyptian in a predominantly white neighborhood in Alabama and I 

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you just pick up social cues you pick up cultural and ways of figuring things out and you want to help people interact with other people and you figure out you want to be in 

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or to be in you should be this and not that 

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and there's rules that begin to play out that no one tells you you just pick them up and culture teaches you and and if you're not trying to be intentional about what you're learning 

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you will unintentionally pick up things around you 

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and so I think that when can he ask me on and I my my really direct way was 

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I don't date black people 

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and I eat any kind of like look so puzzled 

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I don't know what were you thinking 

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can you say it 

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you're explaining your 

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when I saw your nice thing yeah it was it just 

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it's so depends on your culture 

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so 

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growing up my family originated in Virginia and 

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it's not saying that there isn't racism in Virginia 

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there's a lot of racism region yeah but 

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as a young man 

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I was sheltered from a lot so I lived a very sheltered life 

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my my my mother was a single single parent mom my parents divorced when I was like 5 or 6 years old 

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but I would spend a lot of my summers in Virginia 

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doing just crazy stuff 

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my family still owns a house that I will my 

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I guess my great great 

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great grandparents 

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came out of slavery they still live on the same land and their existing houses still still still there so it was it was never like 

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a shame thing or you know it was just kind of part of history 

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and 

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we talked about a little bit but at that age you don't really 

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no one really wants to dig in a pass and you know speak about those things 

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but you know growing up spending all my summer in Virginia 

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coming home 

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I went to a a Catholic high school in inner city Chicago 

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but it was very different because 

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most of my classmates were 

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African Americans and but we were taught by nuns and priests that were predominantly white in that culture 

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my god father was the head priest of of this parish 

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and so I really say like 

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I had a blind eye to a lot of the time 

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racism and social economic like disadvantages in my community because 

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I don't know any different 

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you know when you're growing up in a certain society and that's all you know it begins to be everything you know 

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and so yeah that's fast for dalit Bama 

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it is our high school color opposite 

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you can walk into that lunchroom and predominantly on one side was white and predominantly on one side was black and 

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and so the difference is you know 

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obviously I was 1314 years old so culture shock moving from Chicago to Alabama's is 1 thing but 

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my family really but believe that the time even though 

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I think my mother was the only one 

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that 

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finish 

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she didn't even finish college but I knew at a very young age that you know education was a large part of how you were going to navigate life and and be a little different and so 

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we we were we were raised to be smart 

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and that was one of those things yeah I graduated from in Chicago you go to school from kindergarten to eighth grade in the same school 

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and I graduated salutatorian of my class was another guy a best friend of mine graduated valedictorian and so some of the things we were battling were 

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really kind of gender oriented part prior to us 

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it was mainly 

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all the girls are smarter so we said all right fine you know list 

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let's be smarter than the girls and you know let's let's let's do something really awesome and so 

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in Chicago is a little different because it's culturally mixed you know you're able to 

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excuse me experience 

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a lot of different parts of the city 

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you know there's Chinatown this Hyde Park there's there's 

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so you're you're able to coexist in a lot of different parts of the city and not really feel the feel of racism and Alabama it's completely different you know their segregation 

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you know even 

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so this was like in the nineties right 

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but you could feel it 

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like you could really feel the difference 

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and so where 

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you know when I met irenie 

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it was really nothing for me because we coexisted you know there are 

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I really necessarily didn't see from a color standpoint of of of that 

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and her prism of who black people were was completely not my prism of who I was individually 

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you know and so that was like a shocker like me 

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it was it was almost like the first 

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handful of times or more 

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I won't I won't say it's the first time but he was at least the first a very few 

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when I experience like direct 

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culture racism Mike Bowman 

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you know if someone doesn't like me for who I am 

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and that was a little little interesting but 

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I'm pretty confident in who I am so was 

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it became a challenge to get to know her better or you know really help her understand that I was different than who she was per train me to be so 

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to get an answer 

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so I really need 

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as he pursued them 

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what what what did he do 

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related links 

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you better starting somewhere around she's talking yes 

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yeah sure 

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for yes 

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no no you're fine you work in the back of 

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yeah 

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everything doesn't it right 

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what 

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for the knowledgeable of 

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okay 

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I think that you guys 

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so I mean what does he do in his pursuit issue has 

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he's got a serious acts 

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haven't received anything 

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I think a lot of the pursuit was just practice practice just who it was 

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Warner 

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okay thank you 

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I think a lot of the pursuit was just relationship 

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I think that it's it's one of the things that can undo all the the judgments that you have all the preconceived ideas and we just we started talking 

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and because of a lot of times we were just talking 

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initially it was just from my friends persuaded them but then we just started talking and you find out how much you actually have in common and education was huge for your family and it was huge for my family and I think that there's a difference is that it seems so gaping 

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work quite there and what I also realize was that a lot of my ideas were my own 

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a lot of my judgments weren't really just the conclusions I came to you because of some experience or some great quest of knowledge it was just borrowed from culture 

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and so you have a moment where you're sitting there and you go 

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well this is what I've I've borrowed from culture now I'm looking across at this person and I'm thinking 

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nothing like this 

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and I think that's a it's a moment you don't you don't try to undo the thoughts but through relationship 

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it breaks down those places that you really have to own 

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and what was handed to you and I think it reminds me of like when you 

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and like as a Christian 

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you have your parents faith in you borrow it 

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and then you have to begin to own it 

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and I think that we 

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that sounds great and positive things but we don't realize all the things that we have picked up along the way 

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and I think that 

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nobody in my family 

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outwardly said 

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as far as you know I really need this is 

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you know what they would have really left me to marry an Egyptian I'm sure but they read my mom now constantly assess how much she loves can at that house 

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but it was really hard for them 

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and even to them when I told them that I wanted to take him that there was not an easy journey for us and part of that was they had left their country they were first generation to come over and and to them it wasn't even about anybody else they really just wanted to keep and preserve their culture 

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and so the place is that we operate in this over under mentality 

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I don't know that all those places came out of somebody's malicious thought to 

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come at somebody 

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I think there's protection in fear and just unknown like we just don't take the time to create a relationship to break this down and so it was really just very 

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practical ways that we've just we're getting to know each other and conversation and I'm in overtime you can see the way someone behaves and you get to know their family and you get to realize I just realized how much they just fully embrace me and and and loved in and supported me and was excited and so I think that 

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those very practical ways more necessarily that I intended to try to break down ideals I just relationship it happened 

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so what was it like the first time you interacted with her fans 

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the initial inner actor was was rather fragmented 

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okay sorry no you're fine I can hear my questions really started my first time having these okay all right I can do 

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there you go 

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all right 

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are you ready 

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okay 

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the first time I read Matt Irene's family 

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the interaction was was pretty fragmented so ironies father was a professor 

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and she really 

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we dated behind her parents backs for a long time 

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they know that so it's okay now 

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and so 

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so the the initial reaction I think I met her mother first 

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and it was 

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the old tents and weird but 

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I love people so it it probably wasn't 

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I don't have us Hey 

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stark moment from a memory standpoint to go man I met her and she was this obviously I knew that there is a difference because 

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I knew what I really was feeling really came from her culture and and things that but 

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hi 

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I get along with a lot of different people and 

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my background just it my upbringing required that I 

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I mean I just touch on different types of people in my background so 

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I'm sure it was a little it's a little hard for apple 

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we have counted very difficult now I think about it where no one to come into a situation where they don't feel welcome in that milieu 

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that's probably what I can probably remember but 

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I read and I have a 

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we have this thing disagreement over competition 

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where what how healthy competition is and how it made me hurt 

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but I really think that some of that drive that 

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of proving people wrong 

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really came into effect and 

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and this relationship at least initially with her parents of 

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Hey I want to prove people that I am who I am regardless of who who's out there or what you've seen or read or experience you know I'm I'm my own individual and you know X. 

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you can either accept me for me or you know you can disagreement with me you know based on who I am but if judge me for who I am versus the perception of what you think I 

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I need to be or should be so 

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he was really patient with them 

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nearly was like and I can't imagine walking into the place 

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and already knowing that it was a tough place for them and but 

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definitely one I just remembered something 

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ironically 

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so I grew up Catholic and Irish parents were our Coptic orthodox which is the only Christian not 

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religion and and Egypt 

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and so the one thing that there was a similarity because they're very similar it in faith and beliefs and mass and everything so that mechanic that was probably one of the things that we began to at least have an an agreement on was okay with you know we might not culturally be in agreement or you know whatever they thought is but from a spiritual aspect 

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you know there was at least some talk of 

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okay 

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well you can't be that bad 

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you know if if you're you know you do love Jesus and you year 

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in the church and you know telling those kind of stories because I was an altar server and all that kind of stuff but 

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I think that was probably like the first initial 

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bridge of you know that faith peace 

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I think I'm 

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I did meet hiring these 

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dad until like 

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the card 

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the whole 

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someone coming into like mental block of prom walk in and out mmhm 

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yeah at least like 

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yeah maybe college college 

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maybe college 

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so far there haven't 

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he said that 

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there's a ways to read some of the stereotypes and Roman line bridge plans 

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so I'm sure that like in the forthcoming with his name back seniors so they 

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our children into her around a lot of things and there there's no reason to be really challenging 

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yeah 

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and so I'm curious like how did you approach 

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raising his 

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it is in this environment knowing what you know about the danger of stereotypes and I want to make sure I know that 

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in other lessons right away 

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so where does a couple things happening in our country right there's racism and that there is they're scared of heights 

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and then there's kind of 2 strains 7 right there Sir it's been lost here last year and then there's like full of racism 

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hi 

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and a lot of people fall somewhere between the 2 without even realizing it 

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that's what you were saying the get go you know 

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yeah 

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but I really suggest a termin 

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yeah 

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you're an office manager and ask for money for 

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M. as my son 

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right 

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yeah okay yeah okay 

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how are you today 

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yeah 

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also do no I'm not 

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come Cleveland hamburger ham 

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not 

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she's a black lab I am back 

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sorry 

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this is something 

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most of 

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okay