part3.srt

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Mary and her family have broken them library 

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you can read it over to them they're very open but they were there any concerns that you felt your life 

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hello 

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from from them 

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L. 

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that you were checking on them 

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how did they have overtime or 

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as of right now yeah full moon 

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pretty much 

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a lot of difference it has 

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we don't walk that way 

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and maybe about the ease in her programs 

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has there been a woman being doctor having things that you seem 

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you for never ending up 

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I'm trying to think of stereotype of of your family 

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the way they surprise you in a positive way 

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okay who is a surprise me in a positive way 

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the remote 

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I was gonna say it maybe that sense of 

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I'm just thinking like 

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belong in a family like we've my parents served 

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plus I mean I don't know if that's breaking the stare of death or where there is a very 

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they're still trying to scan 

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shares of rising line maybe in your life 

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my goodness I've never met this is what it is like a father figure fortune 

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many of the folder that you didn't know that they have done to be okay I got some of those 

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all right maybe like okay 

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yeah 

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okay all right I can I can I can answer that one 

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okay so help me with the intro so what what what I'm saying 

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thank you 

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going back active under you guys we're biting your relationship knows and then 

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I don't know what it's about is people this is an agriculture and other personal things as well 

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going in and out of mind okay okay 

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so when Iranian I began to date 

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I obviously didn't know which is the only Gyptian person that I've known 

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ever 

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there's not a ton and I was not there definitely not at the time and and I'd still probably only know 

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one other outside of 

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who have been introduced to the filing my return on your family 

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but ate a stereo type that 

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that became clearer 

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that became clear when when we got married so 

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Egypt has had 

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thank you 

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I want to group for so I'm just gonna say there there it's I remember those 

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so a lot of Egyptians are 

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they're they're loud they're very passionate people about argumentative 

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Americans might say argumentative they say passion so kind of justified so yeah the title the title kind of deal 

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and that blew my mind because 

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I only L. when I'm angry and so 

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when we're discussing something passionately about it 

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I don't like to be angry 

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you know primarily 

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my my 

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it's a deeper meaning because you know my 

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my mother was when I was young was in an abusive relationship with my father and so it you know 

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yelling and arguing brings up like bad memories 

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and so 

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when I when we started dating and we we would have family gatherings and you know go over 

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I remember being quiet for a long time just because 

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the conversations were sold 

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on 10 they were just so 

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I think is a good word they were very epic and 

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not until I really agree 

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hi there I I stand by this not until we went to Egypt 

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so we have the opportunity to go to Egypt 

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but 

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15 years ago 

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now 1415 years ago and not until I was able to experience the culture 

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you know we went to Cairo Alexandria everywhere 

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not not until then did it break down some of those stereotypes and it was 

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they are passionate and 

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and it is the way and some of it 

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the way they communicate it was 

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because it's loud in Cairo 

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it's very it's you know 

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however many millions of people they are and 

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and if there's a lot of movement and and so some of that is just the way they were they were raised 

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and so that really just translated you know Iranians deadline we with one night to go buy train tickets 

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and 

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I'll never forget this moment it was like one of the most frightening moments in my life where 

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he's in line 

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it kind of wasn't paying attention from around 

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and you know someone else who needed to be somewhere 

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skip to main line and 

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and a big heart 

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a discussion brewed right here within our 

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and it was very passionate and and if that were in the United States 

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this particular clearly if they were in my culture the way I grew up there would be we would be fighting every fist fights 

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you know and I just looked at it happened I go 

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okay that's different 

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Mike 

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you know it was a lot of respect and honor and you know at the end of the day because it was a younger man 

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the young man let her dad go and so it was kind of that honor kind of deal 

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and 

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but that was mine that was eye opening 

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it was an eye opener of a of a stereo type to go 

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okay so you have to see people in in an environment 

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in order to understand 

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how they respond to certain things so 

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yeah that's right 

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what would you guys say 

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is 

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the the role of the church 

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in helping to usher and figured it was gonna be this year actually do and I think he leaders go first and 

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hello 

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how is this year's walk out the truth doesn't always get it right now 

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yeah 

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collectively they feature does not always get it right 

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news movies about how how do you think of her own this 

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this is relating to this church moving this time to help 

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during the first 

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thank you 

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I think this 

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the places that we 

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look to the churches in being an example for us 

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and it begins in very visual practical ways I think that just representation on the stage just 

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I think that when you're used to seeing your race or your gender or your age 

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represent and then you'd never think about it be when it's missing 

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and so I think representation is 

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M. and at least it's an open door to a conversation 

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this is where we want to talk about this I do think that you 

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you have to have a conversation and you need to so that process and I think sometimes 

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and the way that 

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the way that the church has taught has been in a monologue type of fashion 

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and I think in the center 

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I think we wanted to be a little Messier like could you show process 

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can you show maybe 2 people even have a conversation about it because 

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and it isn't just a 3.sermon on it 

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it is about relationships and it's about 

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what can happen when I'm when I learned when I give space to hear from you and 

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and so I think that those things are 2 big ones for me is it's not just that we teach on it but it's how because we assume a lot of people know how to process pain and how to have uncomfortable conversations 

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and we really don't 

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most of the time because of social media we hope we can avoid those conversations 

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so we never have to have all 

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and so I'm gonna hang around people that think like me or would have the same opinions as I do and so when those uncomfortable conversations come around 

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I find that I'm having a guide through it and I think that we need that we need a larger 

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look at how to walk through uncomfortable places 

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together 

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yeah I believe 

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one thing you said that really struck me was 

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I think sometimes the church wants to portray 

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that 

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we have it together 

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I think sometimes the church wants to say you know we are we're supposed to be the body of Christ were supposed to be gracious were supposed to be like Jesus 

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and so it makes it very difficult when we aren't 

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or will realize that we aren't 

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it makes it difficult when we realize that our greater church body does have prejudices or races or races or whatever are stereotypical 

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instead of embrace that and going 

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okay we are who we are because we're human beings 

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in allowing grace for to be messy allowing you know what's up 

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we we don't have it together because regardless of 

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of your church can activity 

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if you're still human and and eat you know we need to allow a little bit of grace and is 

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that grace 

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isn't that messiness isn't portrayed well you know we try to have it you know put everything into an ice box and the part of it is you know as the you know the big C. church right we're we have limited time 

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you know where everyone's trying to come in on a Sunday or Monday 

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you know Wednesday or something and and get it 

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and so you have to be very strategic on what you want to speak on and so you know at church today has become 

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honestly a lot of production you know we're trying to 

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get the right number of of of worship songs and play the right videos and you know do all of this to take take take 

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that we lose our relationship aspect of of what what what church needs to be 

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and I think 

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and relationships are messy 

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you know and so 

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that's a large part 

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I think I think another 

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I was on a podcast is this summer 

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listen to a podcast and and it was a 

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it was a it was a business 5 K. podcast by a 

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very successful firm and 

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they really 8 rear reiterated that 

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if you don't have a measurable 

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you'll never get there 

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and so I think but I think sometimes in a church we're afraid to put measurables in place we're afraid to say 

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we just we wanna be glossy and say Hey we want diversification 

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well okay what does that mean you know 

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does it really mean that 

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do you want any might be silly 

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right it might be okay 

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if you have 5 people on the stage 

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what's your goal 

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do you know do you want 

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one 

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you know do you want one gender you know to 

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2 different races how do you want that and I think sometimes 

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that's uncomfortable for people and and date 

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be a little that type of 

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optics are 

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granular 

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you know that that's really granular 

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you know to go down to that level and say 

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here's a goal that we want 

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how do we how do we go about doing it 

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but it matters why you're doing it 

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for sure you know if I'm doing it for the optics of I'm doing it just to you know and that's what's that's what's gonna show who's in this for the long term 

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is he still in this months after this year's after this are we still going after these kind of goals are we still having these types of conversations so that worked in it in a long term commitment and not just flirting with it because culture is offended by right now 

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and I think that the biggest motivation is love 

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and when you have actually and received god's love and are willing to say I'm not going to bottleneck that you know and refused to give it out 

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I think that ships it it does a lot you do love 

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you did a lot 

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you know just you know get to pursue me like we we do a lot for kids because we love him and 

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but you have to want it 

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yeah 

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you have to you have to warn 

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the results of 

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on the outside you have to you have to believe that 

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the success is better than what you're what you're in right now 

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that on the other side if I push through if I go through and make the sacrifices 

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that might can result will be something that's that's that's what I want 

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it goes back to being messy 

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you know you really have to be because again if we can if we can look at diversification and racism and whatever work you know pick your lands on what would you want to view it from 

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it's not a current date 

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it's a current a problem but it doesn't it didn't occur overnight 

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I mean you're 

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there was a need to go read your Bible 

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you know there was racism throughout the entire Bible there was you know the diversification and gender issues racial issues 

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so it it it doesn't 

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so that that's part of my problem 

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with with with the church's 

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we've been trying to figure this thing out and we can't seem to get a grasp you know and 

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as a church that's kind of sad because we're we're supposed to be leading the world not 

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having the world to get us to some of these issues so 

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a finalized the lacking from many of the things we wanted to walk away from you today 

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yeah 

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about pursuing the 

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the topic 

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got these in your heart that keeps being around meeting about whether it's also 

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thank you 

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I think if there's one thing about this whole process that I've really discovered about myself and about others which won't be a really profound conclusion but it's just for humans 

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and no matter how far along as progress no matter how much work I've done layers of of healing I've gotten 

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I still have another place and another 

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part of the journey that god is walking towards 

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and I know for myself I want to grace in that 

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I want some safety to make it I miss it and and be messy and I want a collective of people around me that that we journey through it together 

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I don't want to do this alone 

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and so 

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and I think that I know all the things that I want for myself 

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and now the growth becomes can I give that to other people 

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and and it's not just the people that I do life with 

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can I give it to the person 

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that are really don't like 

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that I'm really triggered by I am still 

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blown away in a little annoyed that Jesus asked me to love my enemy 

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to do good to those that hate me 

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and I mean I think it would be nicer if you'd asked me to tolerate them 

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to they've acted like something on their pager 

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you know just a couple of things 

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but to love him 

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and not just say that I love them he pushed it further to say to do good 

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so now I have to respond in a different way 

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I have to go to a different 

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link their measure 

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then then they ever have been to me 

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or maybe never will be 

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I cannot choose to respond 

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so that I elicit a response it's literally gotta come out of my heart and 

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and that's definitely from a supernatural place like god you're gonna have to help me do this and you guys I know 

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and I think that when I try to do it apart from him 

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it's just charity 

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but when I do it with him 

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it's kingdom 

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it's something so much bigger 

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and I think that that's and that's a journey for me 

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that's why she's a PhD and I'm not that was 

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that very moment right so for the rest 

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I would like to get everyone to come away with the fact that 

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it's going to take hard work 

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I kept thinking 

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and I was wondering like minimize our share this but I'm going to 

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white 

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I read and I had an argument last night and 

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you know 

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I can choose to be angry or I can choose to 

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I work hard and have a reconciliation 

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I can choose to it so we have a choice 

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just like every like everything else I mean it's 

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god gave us choice and 

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and I think so much 

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we try to put on the issue of reconciliation and diversification 

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in in a bucket that's like untouchable 

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and 

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but we're willing to work hard on all these other things we will work hard to be great fathers and mothers and 

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even in our Christianity in our walk 

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we're willing to be great students were willing to be a great business people in business or whatever your craft is you're willing to work hard at that 

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if for some reason 

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this over time 

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these have been things like 

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that are off limits in terms of being tough and going 

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okay 

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it's tough but how do we go through how do we break through I love athletic analogies 

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and so 

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there's nothing like physically pushing your body past the point that you didn't mentally think that you could make 

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and I think that's where that's where we are where we have to push our our body her mind past the point to go 

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okay this is uncomfortable 

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you know this is uncomfortable 

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but I know it's important usually when you do that you find a greater whatever 

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on the other side 

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whatever you're going after when you push past that point of comfort level and you go to an uncomfortable point you usually find greatness and and whatever you do 

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and so that's the one thing 

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but that's all about hard work it's all about 

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mentally physically spiritually emotionally St 

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I want to work hard in order to achieve the goodness that's on the other side 

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because if you don't want a hard if you don't work hard it's 

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you're just gonna end up where you are 

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and yes we may make some progress but will more than likely backstop to our oral norm because we want experience what that newness 

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on the other side of of being a compatibility 

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yeah you have to listen 

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I think I have a 

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but yes when our babies come from witness 

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you only get there like you're standing and they're looking for really