NinjaFacts.md

• A ninja once received a Hollywood star, he made the handprint when the cement was dry
• Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja.
• Bullets dodge ninjas
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects ninjas could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.
• Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.
• Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.
• Ninja can change complete wardrobes in less than 1 second.
• Ninja can crush golf balls with 2 fingers, any two fingers.
• Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.
• Ninja don't lose. Ever.
• Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport. They always win.
• Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.
• Ninja don't sweat. Ever.
• Ninja invented skateboarding. Not even to do tricks, just to kill time in between killing.
• Ninja invented the internet. All of it.
• Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.
• Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them. This is a lie from Hollywood.
• Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always.
• Ninjas are allowed to talk about 'fight club'
• Ninjas are mammals.
• Ninjas can predict the songs on their ipod shuffle
• Ninjas can speak in 'wing dings'.
• Ninjas created the wheel . . . twice.
• Ninjas don't fly, the ground falls away and moves for them
• Ninjas don't sleep, they wait
• Ninjas don't swim, the waters part to let them through
• Ninjas don't walk, the ground moves for them
• Ninjas fight ALL the time.
• Ninjas iron there shirts while wearing them
• Ninjas make onions cry
• Ninjas play minesweeper with real mines
• Ninjas put pants on 2 legs at a time
• Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless against a ninja.
• Shi-rei-shi - Ninja Not Found
• The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
• When ninjas do push ups, they don't push themselves up, they push the world down