Transfobot from McSweeney's #38

transfobot.bas

10 DIM R$(24,1),A(5),B(5),Z(5)
20 CLS: WIDTH 40: KEY OFF: SCREEN 0,1
30 LOCATE 12,16,0:COLOR 7:PRINT "Stand by..."
40 FOR H=0 TO 1:FOR I = 1 TO 24
50 R$(I,H)="":C=0
60 READ T,KO:R$(I,H)+CHR$(T)+CHR$(KO)
70 C=C+T:IF C<17 THEN 60
80 NEXT I,H
90 FOR I=1 TO 5: READ A(I), B(I):Z(I)=0:NEXT I
100 CLS: FOR K=1 TO 5:GOSUB 1000: NEXT K
110 K$=INKEY$: K=VAL(K$):IF K < 1 OR K > 7 THEN 110
120 IF K < 6 THEN GOSUB 1000: GOTO 110
130 IF K=7 THEN LOCATE 24,1,0:FOR I=1 TO 24:PRINT:NEXT
140 FOR K=1 TO 5:IF K > 1 THEN Z(K)=1-Z(1)
150 GOSUB 1000: NEXT K: GOTO 110
1000 FOR I=A(K) TO B(K):LOCATE I,12,0:C=0:P=1
1010 T=ASC(MID$(R$(I,Z(K)),P,1))
1020 CL=ASC(MID$(R$(I,Z(K)),P+1,1))
1030 COLOR CL:PRINT STRING$(T.219);
1040 C=C+T:IF C < 17 THEN P=P+2:GOTO 1010
1050 NEXT I:Z(K)=1-Z(K):COLOR 7:RETURN
2000 DATA 6,0,5,7,6,0,5,0,7,7,5,0,4,0,1,6,2,7,1,4
2010 DATA 1,7,1,4,2,7,1,6,4,0,5,0,7,7,5,0,6,0,5,7
2020 DATA 6,0,2,0,5,1,3,7,5,1,2,0,1,0,6,1,3,7,6,1
2030 DATA 1,0,17,1,10,1,1,5,6,1,17,1,3,1,1,0,9,1
2040 DATA 1,0,3,1,3,1,1,0,9,1,1,0,3,1,3,1,1,0,9,5
2050 DATA 1,0,3,1,3,4,1,0,9,1,1,0,3,4,2,4,2,0,9,1
2060 DATA 2,0,2,4,1,4,3,0,9,1,3,0,1,4,1,4,3,0,9,1
2070 DATA 3,0,1,4,4,0,4,1,1,0,4,1,4,0,4,0,4,1,1,0
2080 DATA 4,1,4,0,4,0,4,1,1,0,4,1,4,0,4,0,4,1,1,0
2090 DATA 4,1,4,0,4,0,4,1,1,0,4,1,4,0,2,0,6,7,1,0
2100 DATA 6,7,2,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,7,7,1,0
2110 DATA 8,0,1,7,8,0,7,0,3,7,7,0,6,0,1,7,1,6,1,7
2120 DATA 1,6,1,7,6,0,6,0,5,7,6,0,4,0,9,7,4,0,3,0
2130 DATA 11,7,3,0,2,0,13,7,2,0,1,0,6,7,1,1,1,7,1
2140 DATA 1,6,7,1,0,7,7,1,1,1,7,1,1,7,7,7,7,1,1,1
2150 DATA 7,1,1,7,7,6,7,2,1,1,7,2,1,6,7,5,7,3,1,1
2160 DATA 7,3,1,5,7,17,7,17,7,3,7,2,0,7,7,2,0,3,7
2170 DATA 2,7,3,0,7,7,3,0,2,7,1,7,4,0,7,7,4,0,1,7
2180 DATA 4,0,9,7,4,0,4,0,9,7,4,0,4,0,9,7,4,0,4,0
2190 DATA 9,7,4,0,3,0,11,7,3,0,2,0,6,7,1,0,6,7,2,0
2200 DATA 2,0,2,7,1,0,2,7,3,0,2,7,1,0,2,7,2,0
2210 DATA 1,5,6,10,11,13,14,17,18,24