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Created March 4, 2020 04:35
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The Taming of the CracklePop - A Play by Harrison Katz.
The Taming of the CracklePop
By Harrison Katz (@hkatzdev)
Licenced under the MIT Licence.
Romeo, the brilliant counteth'r.
Juliet, the temp'rary queen.
Act I: The Mystical Setup.
Scene I: The Grand Entrance.
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]
Scene II: Comparison of the Two Natures.
Juliet: Thou art as handsome as the sum of a Lord and thyself.
Romeo: Is the remainder of the quotient between myself and the sum of a charming hero and the sky as brave as nothing?
Juliet: If so, let us proceed to Scene IV.
Romeo: Is the remainder of the quotient between myself and the sum of a rich sweet rose and the moon as beautiful as nothing?
Juliet: If so, let us proceed to Scene V.
Scene III: Announceth the numb'r!
Juliet: Open thine heart!
We must proceed to Scene VI.
Scene IV: Cracketh Ope the Case.
Romeo: Thou art as cunning as the sum of the product of the sum of a bold brave King and an embroidered rose and the sum of the sum of a rich sweet healthy cat and a mighty rural animal and the Microsoft and the wind.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as sweet as the sum of the sum of the sum of the product of the difference between the sum of a big golden lovely pony and a bold blossoming flower and an angel and a pretty peaceful squirrel and a hamster and a huge mistletoe and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as cunning as the difference between thyself and the difference between a cute peaceful trustworthy sweet fellow and a bastard.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as prompt as the sum of the bottomless Heaven and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as noble as the sum of a bold brave charming roman and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as fair as the sum of a King and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as charming as the sum of the difference between thyself and a rich sweet healthy son and a stone wall.
Speak thy mind!
Is the remainder of the quotient between myself and the sum of a blossoming embroidered rose and the joy as healthy as nothing?
Juliet: If so, let us proceed to Scene V.
We must proceed to Scene VI.
Scene V: Popeth Fusty'r Conceptions.
Romeo: Thou art as beautiful as the product of a rich loving sweet Heaven and the sum of a charming cute gentle cat and a lovely rose.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as lovely as the sum of the sum of the product of the sum of a golden pretty healthy horse and a charming granddaughter and the sum of an angel and a sweet rose and a kingdom and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as trustworthy as the sum of the summer's day and thyself.
Speak thy mind!
Scene VI: The Returneth until Realization.
Romeo: Thou art as fair as the sum of a cute golden healthy cat and a charming face.
Speak thy mind!
Thou art as good as the product of the sum of an honest loving charming hero and a noble Lord and thyself.
Is the difference between thyself and myself as sweet as nothing?
Juliet: If not, we shall return to Scene II.
[Exeunt]
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hkatzdev commented Mar 4, 2020

Tested on tio and shakespearelang.

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