C Bible found here: http://www.madchat.fr/coding/c_bible.txt

c_bible.txt

                        The "C" Bible 
 1:1  In the beginning Unix created the Kernel and the C. 
 1:2  And the Kernel was without form and (void); and obscurity was on 
      the face of the C.  And the spirit of Unix moved upon the face 
      of the C. 
 1:3  And Unix said, Let there be Code: and there was Code. 
 1:4  And Unix saw the Code, that it was tight: and Unix divided the 
      unstructured from the GOTO-less. 
 1:5  And Unix called the Code compact, and the unstructured he called 
      spaghetti.  And the Program and the Module were the first day. 
 1:6  And Unix said, Let there be a ++ in the midst of the tightness, 
      and let it divide the Variables from the Variables. 
 1:7  And Unix made the Function, and divided the Variables which were 
      inside the Function from the Variables which were outside the 
      Function: and it was so. 
 1:8  And Unix called the Function Recursive.  And the Program and the 
      Module were the second day. 
 1:9  And Unix said, Let the Variables in the Functions be gathered 
      together unto one place, and let the Data Segment appear: 
      and it was so. 
 1:10 And Unix called the Data Segment Structure; and the gathering 
      together of Variables he called the Heap: and Unix saw that it 
      was good. 
 1:11 And Unix said, Let the Structure bring forth Nulls, the Data to 
      terminate, and the Data yielding Pointer after his kind, whose 
      Pointer is in itself, upon the Structure: and it was so. 
 1:12 And the Structure brought forth Nulls, and Pointers each after 
      his kind: and Unix saw that it was good. 
 1:13 And the Program and the Module were the third day. 
 1:14 And the Nulls terminated the Data, so that each and every 
      Function would therefore loop: and Unix saw that it was good. 
 1:15 And Unix let them be for fat EXE files the Recursion of the 
      Function to give coding upon the C: and it was so. 
 1:16 And Unix made two great Functions: the GetCh to rule the In, and 
      the PrintF to rule the Out: he made the many TO Functions also. 
 1:17 And the Program and the Module were the fourth day. 
 1:18 And Unix said, Let the Coding bring forth abundantly the Nested 
      If creature that hath life, and the ability that it has to 
      confuse and obfuscate, for a GOTO It has not. 
 1:19 And Unix created great Whale Programs, and every Function that 
      loopeth looking for the terminating Null, and every unclean 
      workaround that inhabiteth the Programs: and Unix saw that it 
      was good. 
 1:20 And Unix blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, 
      and fill the Functions of the C, and let Code multiply in the 
      Programs and fill the Hard Disk. 
 1:21 And the Program and the Module were the fifth day. 
 1:22 And Unix said, Let the Function bring forth the Recursive 
      creature after his kind, Pointer and Nested If, and let him loop 
      the Null after his kind: and it was so. 
 1:23 And Unix made the Stream I/O after his kind, and every loop that 
      that creepeth upon the face of the Hard Disk.  And Unix said, 
      Let the File I/O be as slow as Interpreted Basic. 
 1:24 And Unix said, Let us make Codes in our image, after our Kernel: 
      and let them have Pointers over the Variables of the Heap, and 
      over the Functions, and over the Null-finding loops, and over all 
      the File I/O, and over every creeping Program that creepeth 
      upon the Hard Disk. 
 1:25 So Unix created C in his own image, in the image of Unix created 
      he him; Small and Huge Model created he them. 
 1:26 And Unix blessed them, and Unix said unto them, Be fruitful, 
      and multiply, and replenish the Hard Disk, and subdue it: 
      and have dominion over the Functions of the C, and over the Nulls 
      of the Data, and over every looping thing that runneth upon the 
      CPU. 
 1:27 And Unix said, Behold, I have given you every Value bearing  
      Function, which is upon the Recursion of the Nested If, and 
      every Directory Tree, in which is the Pointer to a File 
      yielding Data; to you it shall be for Terminating Nulls. 
 1:28 And to every slow beast of the Hard Disk, and to every unreadable 
      fowl of logic, and to every needless complexity that creepeth upon 
      the Function wherein there is Null, I have given every Heap for 
      the Data, and it was so. 
 1:29 And Unix saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was 
      very terse.  And the Program and the Module were the sixth day. 
  
 2:1  Thus the Functions and the Heap were finished, and all the 
      host of them, such that understanding came not. 
 2:2  And on the seventh day Unix ended his work which he had coded 
      and he rested on the seventh day from all his Kernel which 
      he had coded. 
 2:3  And Unix blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because  
      in it he had rested from all his Coding which Unix had created 
      and made.