A relatively useless (to some) platform Node.JS updater. Being in shell - which isn't native to Windows (sorta) - this script attempts to be your Node.JS Updater. Works great for OSX and LINUX.

nodeupdate

#!/bin/bash
#########
#
# Once downloaded, run: `chmod 775 nodeupdate` and double click
#
#########

platform='unknown'

case "$OSTYPE" in
	darwin*)  platform="OSX" ;; 
	linux*)   platform="LINUX" ;;
	bsd*)     platform="BSD" ;;
	msys*)    platform="WINDOWS" ;;
	*)        platform="unknown: $OSTYPE" ;;
esac

echo "Update starting for $platform"

process_exit()
{
	echo "Exiting: ${*}"
	exit
}

process_install()
{
	echo "Performing installation with arguments [${*}]..."
	if [[ "$1" = "OSX" ]]; then
		curl "https://nodejs.org/dist/latest/node-$LATEST.pkg" > "$HOME/Downloads/node-latest.pkg" && sudo installer -store -pkg "$HOME/Downloads/node-latest.pkg" -target "/"
	elif [[ "$1" == "LINUX" ]]; then
		curl -sL https://deb.nodesource.com/setup_7.x | sudo -E bash -
		sudo apt-get install -y nodejs
	elif [[ "$1" == "BSD" ]]; then
		/usr/ports/www/node #?
		pkg install node
	elif [[ "$1" == "WINDOWS" ]]; then
		cinst nodejs.install # sorry windows gota have cinst
		scoop install nodejs # or scoop
	fi
}

LOCAL=$(node -v)
LATEST=$(wget -qO- https://nodejs.org/dist/latest/ | sed -nE 's|.*>node-(.*)\.pkg</a>.*|\1|p')

echo "Latest: $LATEST"
echo "Local: $LOCAL"

if [ "$LATEST" = "$LOCAL" ]
then
	process_exit "Node.JS is up to date with Version: $LOCAL"
else
	echo "Updating Node.JS to Version: $LATEST"
	process_install $platform
	process_exit "Node.JS is up to date with Version: $LATEST"
fi