gistfile1.rb

#!/usr/bin/env ruby
message_file = ARGV[0]
message = File.read(message_file)

def range_rand(min,max)
  min + rand(max-min)
end

bads = [
  "Yeah, bitch! Magnets!",
  "Just because you shot Jesse James, don’t make you Jesse James.",
  "We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred!",
  "Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch!",
  "A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!",
  "I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger.",
  "Let's start with some tough love. You two suck at peddling meth. Period.",
  "You may know a lot about chemistry man but you don't know jack about slangin' dope.",
  "Sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute 'plans.'",
  "Dude, you are so historically retarded!",
  "Yeah Mr. White! Yeah science!"
]

breaking = bads[range_rand(0,bads.length)]

new_message = message + " [" + breaking + "]" 

File.open(message_file, 'w') {|f| f.write new_message }