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May 26, 2009 00:22
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WARNING SIGNS OF A DANGEROUS CULT ... as applied to Audrey's open source community side projects
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Earlier this weekend, I realized that I may have become part of a dangerous | |
cult after having the following conversation at the foodcarts: | |
> Me: "We don't know those people. Should we indoctrinate them?" | |
> Audrey: "Yes! I have more fliers." | |
> http://www.vistech.net/users/rsturge/cults.html | |
> THE WARNING SIGNS OF A DANGEROUS CULT | |
...as applied to Audrey's open source community side projects | |
> 1. The spiritual group claims to have received special instructions from one | |
> or more "messengers from the sky." | |
A founder of the spiritual group, Audrey, claims to have received special | |
instructions from "some guy named Ward on the interwebs". | |
> 2. The spiritual group uses a special set of rules that you must obey or be | |
> cast out. | |
The spiritual group uses a special set of rules, such as the MIT license and | |
code reviews, that you must obey or have your patches rejected. | |
> 3. The spiritual group promises eternal life in a paradise if you obey its | |
> set of rules, and threatens eternal suffering if you do not obey its set of | |
> rules. | |
The spiritual group promises happiness, ponies and Utopian tech communities if | |
you obey its set of rules, and threatens eternal suffering (e.g., source code | |
you can never change, silos of inaccessible data, Upcoming's invalid iCalendar | |
exports, @osbridgebot switching to "Enslave" or "Exterminate" modes, etc) if | |
you do not obey its set of rules. | |
> 4. The spiritual group demands that you give up as much of your assets and | |
> your yearly income to it as possible. | |
The spiritual group demands that you give up as much of your time and money to | |
it as possible. | |
> 5. The members of the spiritual group call each other "brother" and "sister," | |
> even when they aren't related at all. | |
The members of the spiritual group call each other "tweep" and "committer" even | |
though these words aren't in any respectable dictionary. | |
> 6. The spiritual group is led by a group of enlightened masters who wear | |
> strange clothes and speak in esoteric parables. | |
The spiritual group is led by a group of enlightened masters (e.g., "I know | |
`git rebase` and am NOT afraid to use it!") who wear strange clothes (often | |
knitted) and speak in esoteric, incomprehensible jargon (e.g., "We strive for | |
nothing less than complete aggregation of all regional tech event data into a | |
wiki-editable, feed-subscribeable open source community calendar") | |
> 7. The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without | |
> reservation, even when those teachings are in direct conflict with your | |
> understanding of basic scientific knowledge. | |
The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without reservation | |
(e.g., "open source is easy to use ... sometimes"), even when those teachings | |
are in direct conflict with press releases and advertisements made by | |
well-respected corporations. | |
> 8. The spiritual group demands that you select your spouse and your closest | |
> friends from its membership. | |
The spiritual group demands that you spend copious amounts of time with fellow | |
members in bizarre, nocturnal rituals at dimly-lit, disreputable establishments | |
swilling liquors and "coding", or hanging out at late-night food carts | |
partaking in shockingly un-American cuisine like Poutine. | |
> 9. The spiritual group demands that you place your children in its training | |
> program. | |
The spiritual group offers free or discounted rates to students. | |
> 10. The spiritual group teaches that giving up your life for the sake of the | |
> spiritual group may become necessary sometime in the future. | |
The spiritual group teaches that giving up your time and code for the | |
sake of the spiritual group is immediately necessary. |
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