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Created May 26, 2009 00:22
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WARNING SIGNS OF A DANGEROUS CULT ... as applied to Audrey's open source community side projects
Earlier this weekend, I realized that I may have become part of a dangerous
cult after having the following conversation at the foodcarts:
> Me: "We don't know those people. Should we indoctrinate them?"
> Audrey: "Yes! I have more fliers."
> http://www.vistech.net/users/rsturge/cults.html
> THE WARNING SIGNS OF A DANGEROUS CULT
...as applied to Audrey's open source community side projects
> 1. The spiritual group claims to have received special instructions from one
> or more "messengers from the sky."
A founder of the spiritual group, Audrey, claims to have received special
instructions from "some guy named Ward on the interwebs".
> 2. The spiritual group uses a special set of rules that you must obey or be
> cast out.
The spiritual group uses a special set of rules, such as the MIT license and
code reviews, that you must obey or have your patches rejected.
> 3. The spiritual group promises eternal life in a paradise if you obey its
> set of rules, and threatens eternal suffering if you do not obey its set of
> rules.
The spiritual group promises happiness, ponies and Utopian tech communities if
you obey its set of rules, and threatens eternal suffering (e.g., source code
you can never change, silos of inaccessible data, Upcoming's invalid iCalendar
exports, @osbridgebot switching to "Enslave" or "Exterminate" modes, etc) if
you do not obey its set of rules.
> 4. The spiritual group demands that you give up as much of your assets and
> your yearly income to it as possible.
The spiritual group demands that you give up as much of your time and money to
it as possible.
> 5. The members of the spiritual group call each other "brother" and "sister,"
> even when they aren't related at all.
The members of the spiritual group call each other "tweep" and "committer" even
though these words aren't in any respectable dictionary.
> 6. The spiritual group is led by a group of enlightened masters who wear
> strange clothes and speak in esoteric parables.
The spiritual group is led by a group of enlightened masters (e.g., "I know
`git rebase` and am NOT afraid to use it!") who wear strange clothes (often
knitted) and speak in esoteric, incomprehensible jargon (e.g., "We strive for
nothing less than complete aggregation of all regional tech event data into a
wiki-editable, feed-subscribeable open source community calendar")
> 7. The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without
> reservation, even when those teachings are in direct conflict with your
> understanding of basic scientific knowledge.
The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without reservation
(e.g., "open source is easy to use ... sometimes"), even when those teachings
are in direct conflict with press releases and advertisements made by
well-respected corporations.
> 8. The spiritual group demands that you select your spouse and your closest
> friends from its membership.
The spiritual group demands that you spend copious amounts of time with fellow
members in bizarre, nocturnal rituals at dimly-lit, disreputable establishments
swilling liquors and "coding", or hanging out at late-night food carts
partaking in shockingly un-American cuisine like Poutine.
> 9. The spiritual group demands that you place your children in its training
> program.
The spiritual group offers free or discounted rates to students.
> 10. The spiritual group teaches that giving up your life for the sake of the
> spiritual group may become necessary sometime in the future.
The spiritual group teaches that giving up your time and code for the
sake of the spiritual group is immediately necessary.
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