imphasing/gist:3995874

## gistfile1.php
<?php

// Make a preliminary n-gram to n-gram map to translate with
function make_translate_map()
{
	$four_grams = array(
		"ouve" => "a",
		"them" => "dem",
		"then" => "den",
		"done" => "dun",
		"dont" => "dnt",
		"know" => "no",
		"youn" => "yun",
		"nish" => "nsh",
		"this" => "dis",
		"ther" => "der",
		"ight" => "ite",
		"some" => "sum"
	);

	$tri_grams = array(
		"wha" => "wu",
		"are" => "r",
		"thi" => "ti",
		"coo" => "koo",
		"sai" => "se",
		"see" => "c",
		"the" => "da",
		"and" => "nd",
		"nor" => "nr",
		"can" => "cn",
		"one" => "1",
		"two" => "2",
		"ans" => "ns",
		"you" => "u",
		"ork" => "rk",
		"too" => "2"
	);

	$bi_grams = array(
		"th" => "d",
		"re" => "r"
	);

	$post_fixes = array(
		"ady" => "athy",
		"dars" => "thers",
		"oder" => "other",
		"ader" => "ather",
		"rvi" => "revi",
		"rtrn" => "retrn",
		"drou" => "thru",
		"gre" => "gree",
		"wuzh" => "wash",
		"rsta" => "rest",
		"eld" => "elth",
		"ald" => "alth",
		"ifd" => "ifth"
	);

	return array_merge($four_grams, $tri_grams, $bi_grams, $post_fixes);
}

// Accepts an n-gram map, and applies randomizations to it
function randomize_map($translate_map)
{
	$like_random = array("lyk",	"lyke", "liek", "lik","like");
	$ur_random = array("yr", "ur", "yur", "your");
	$was_random = array("wuz", "woz", "was", "waz");
	$the_random = array("tha", "da", "teh");
	$ould_random = array("ud", "ood", "od");
	$ery_random = array("ery", "ry");
	$wid_random = array("wid", "wit");
	$people_random = array("ppl", "peppl", "peoppl", "people");
	$ention_random = array("ention", "enshun");
	$ine_random = array("yn", "yne", "ein");
	$ude_random = array("ude", "ewd");
	$for_random = array("for", "4");
	$fuck_random = array("fuck", "fck", "fuk", "fucc");

	$translate_map['like'] = $like_random[array_rand($like_random)];
	$translate_map['ur'] = $ur_random[array_rand($ur_random)];
	$translate_map['was'] = $was_random[array_rand($was_random)];
	$translate_map['da'] = $the_random[array_rand($the_random)];
	$translate_map['ould'] = $ould_random[array_rand($ould_random)];
	$translate_map['ery'] = $ery_random[array_rand($ery_random)];
	$translate_map['wid'] = $wid_random[array_rand($wid_random)];
	$translate_map['people'] = $people_random[array_rand($people_random)];
	$translate_map['ention'] = $ention_random[array_rand($ention_random)];
	$translate_map['ine'] = $ine_random[array_rand($ine_random)];
	$translate_map['ude'] = $ude_random[array_rand($ude_random)];
	$translate_map['for'] = $for_random[array_rand($for_random)];
	$translate_map['fuck'] = $fuck_random[array_rand($fuck_random)];

	return $translate_map;
}

// Translate a string from "normal" to "OMGWTF MORON"
function translate($original_string)
{
	$original_string = strtolower($original_string);
	$original_string = preg_replace('/[,;\._\'\/]+/', '', $original_string);
	$words = split("[ ]+", $original_string);

	$translate_map = make_translate_map();
	$translated_words = array();

	foreach ($words as $value)
	{
		foreach (randomize_map($translate_map) as $orig => $mod)
		{
			$value = str_replace($orig, $mod, $value);
		}

		$translated_words[] = $value;
	}

	return join(' ', $translated_words);
}

$translated = "";

if (isset($_POST['submit'])) {
	$translated = translate($_POST['original']);
}
?>

<html>
<head>
<title>Insta-moron</title>
</head>
<body>
<h2>Moron Translation:</h2>
<br />
<form action="translate.php" method="POST">
	Original:<br />
	<textarea cols="50" rows="10" name="original"><?php echo isset($_POST['original']) ? $_POST['original'] : ''; ?></textarea>
	<br /><br />
	Translated:<br />
	<textarea cols="50" rows="10" name="translated"><?php echo $translated ?></textarea>
	<br /><br />
	<input type="submit" value="Translate" name="submit" />
</form>
</body>
</html>
	<?php

	// Make a preliminary n-gram to n-gram map to translate with
	function make_translate_map()
	{
	$four_grams = array(
	"ouve" => "a",
	"them" => "dem",
	"then" => "den",
	"done" => "dun",
	"dont" => "dnt",
	"know" => "no",
	"youn" => "yun",
	"nish" => "nsh",
	"this" => "dis",
	"ther" => "der",
	"ight" => "ite",
	"some" => "sum"
	);

	$tri_grams = array(
	"wha" => "wu",
	"are" => "r",
	"thi" => "ti",
	"coo" => "koo",
	"sai" => "se",
	"see" => "c",
	"the" => "da",
	"and" => "nd",
	"nor" => "nr",
	"can" => "cn",
	"one" => "1",
	"two" => "2",
	"ans" => "ns",
	"you" => "u",
	"ork" => "rk",
	"too" => "2"
	);

	$bi_grams = array(
	"th" => "d",
	"re" => "r"
	);

	$post_fixes = array(
	"ady" => "athy",
	"dars" => "thers",
	"oder" => "other",
	"ader" => "ather",
	"rvi" => "revi",
	"rtrn" => "retrn",
	"drou" => "thru",
	"gre" => "gree",
	"wuzh" => "wash",
	"rsta" => "rest",
	"eld" => "elth",
	"ald" => "alth",
	"ifd" => "ifth"
	);

	return array_merge($four_grams, $tri_grams, $bi_grams, $post_fixes);
	}

	// Accepts an n-gram map, and applies randomizations to it
	function randomize_map($translate_map)
	{
	$like_random = array("lyk", "lyke", "liek", "lik","like");
	$ur_random = array("yr", "ur", "yur", "your");
	$was_random = array("wuz", "woz", "was", "waz");
	$the_random = array("tha", "da", "teh");
	$ould_random = array("ud", "ood", "od");
	$ery_random = array("ery", "ry");
	$wid_random = array("wid", "wit");
	$people_random = array("ppl", "peppl", "peoppl", "people");
	$ention_random = array("ention", "enshun");
	$ine_random = array("yn", "yne", "ein");
	$ude_random = array("ude", "ewd");
	$for_random = array("for", "4");
	$fuck_random = array("fuck", "fck", "fuk", "fucc");

	$translate_map['like'] = $like_random[array_rand($like_random)];
	$translate_map['ur'] = $ur_random[array_rand($ur_random)];
	$translate_map['was'] = $was_random[array_rand($was_random)];
	$translate_map['da'] = $the_random[array_rand($the_random)];
	$translate_map['ould'] = $ould_random[array_rand($ould_random)];
	$translate_map['ery'] = $ery_random[array_rand($ery_random)];
	$translate_map['wid'] = $wid_random[array_rand($wid_random)];
	$translate_map['people'] = $people_random[array_rand($people_random)];
	$translate_map['ention'] = $ention_random[array_rand($ention_random)];
	$translate_map['ine'] = $ine_random[array_rand($ine_random)];
	$translate_map['ude'] = $ude_random[array_rand($ude_random)];
	$translate_map['for'] = $for_random[array_rand($for_random)];
	$translate_map['fuck'] = $fuck_random[array_rand($fuck_random)];

	return $translate_map;
	}

	// Translate a string from "normal" to "OMGWTF MORON"
	function translate($original_string)
	{
	$original_string = strtolower($original_string);
	$original_string = preg_replace('/[,;\._\'\/]+/', '', $original_string);
	$words = split("[ ]+", $original_string);

	$translate_map = make_translate_map();
	$translated_words = array();

	foreach ($words as $value)
	{
	foreach (randomize_map($translate_map) as $orig => $mod)
	{
	$value = str_replace($orig, $mod, $value);
	}

	$translated_words[] = $value;
	}

	return join(' ', $translated_words);
	}

	$translated = "";

	if (isset($_POST['submit'])) {
	$translated = translate($_POST['original']);
	}
	?>

	<html>
	<head>
	<title>Insta-moron</title>
	</head>
	<body>
	<h2>Moron Translation:</h2>
	<br />
	<form action="translate.php" method="POST">
	Original:<br />
	<textarea cols="50" rows="10" name="original"><?php echo isset($_POST['original']) ? $_POST['original'] : ''; ?></textarea>
	<br /><br />
	Translated:<br />
	<textarea cols="50" rows="10" name="translated"><?php echo $translated ?></textarea>
	<br /><br />
	<input type="submit" value="Translate" name="submit" />
	</form>
	</body>
	</html>