A shell script written towards the end of the assessment period in the first half of my fourth year of University. I do not recommend using it as your .bashrc file.

gistfile1.sh

# fuckup.sh
#
# (C) Iain R. Learmonth 2012.
#
# This program is free software. It comes without any warranty, to
# the extent permitted by applicable law. You can redistribute it
# and/or modify it under the terms of the Do What The Fuck You Want
# To Public License, Version 2, as published by Sam Hocevar. See
# http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/COPYING for more details.
#
# To install, simply run:
#
#     curl https://gist.github.com/raw/4280877/gistfile1.sh > ~/.bashrc
#
#           OR
#
#     wget -O ~/.bashrc https://gist.github.com/raw/4280877/gistfile1.sh
#

# Disable text editors

function writeonly() {
        echo "Error: File is write-only"
}

alias ex="writeonly"
alias ed="writeonly"
alias vi="writeonly"
alias vim="writeonly"
alias emacs="writeonly"

# Disable filesystem commands

alias cp="echo Disabled in accordance with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act."
alias mv="echo Disabled in accordance with the Digital Millenium Copyright Act."

alias rm="echo Removing the evidence requires super-user priviliges."

function chdir() {
        echo $HOME
        cd `find $HOME -type d | awk 'BEGIN { srand() } rand() >= 0.8 { print; exit }'`
}

alias cd="chdir"

alias ls="echo There are no files here.\nWithout a backup, you never really had the data in the\nfirst place."

# Disable simple file commands

function meow() {
        echo "Meow!"
}

alias cat="meow"

# Disable switching to other shells

function nope() {
        echo "I'm sorry" `whoami` ", I can't let you do that." ;
}

alias sh=nope
alias csh=nope
alias ksh=nope
alias zsh=nope
alias python=nope