i tell my mother in law: don't trust people's intentions; everyone will tell you how they have the best of intentions.
instead, i tell her what i tell my students of data thinking: learn to listen to what people have to say - then see what they do. then think about how much you can understand of the numbers and incentives at play behind what they say and what they do.
trust people's actions. you can see and verify them for yourself:
do they listen to your puerile humor, your poop jokes? Your bad accents?
do they tell you what's on their mind, through tears of laughter or fear, and trust that the risk of pooping your party is worth having a difficult conversation?