Kansas City - James Massey, a married man in his late twenties, has set a new world record for continuous video game play. The record, set on a Friday evening, has inspired millions of espoused men everywhere.
"Some guys are calling me a hero, but I was just doing what any man would have done." the world-record holder said. "This is my dream, it has always been my dream, to one day play video games for so long, all at once."
The previous record, 11 minutes, held by Brian Hutchinson from Little Rock, was attained only when his wife accidentally locked herself in the basement. "I knew he was playing video games" his wife said, "but I wanted to rearrange some furniture in the basement. I thought it would look better if everything was shifted over a couple of inches." Furious screaming from behind the locked basement door eventually pulled Brian away from his video game at the 11 minute mark.
Hutchinson commended the the new world-record gamer. "I don't know how he did it. I didn't think 13 minutes was even possible."
James Massey credited his success to fearlessness and an iron will. "At the 10 minute mark, I thought it was all over. My wife wanted to put a new bed skirt on the guest bed, and she wanted me to lift up the mattress. I told her 'hang on a sec hon' and that gave me the opening I needed." After telling his wife to hang on, she was briefly distracted by CSI:NY and forgot what she was doing.
"Once I passed the 11 minute mark, I knew I had done something really special." James said, "I was finally pulled away from my game when CSI:NY cut to commercial and my wife wanted me to get some dishes down from the top shelf for a potluck we were going to later."
While many challengers will dream of one day besting James and his incredible achievement, playing for over thirteen minutes won't be easy. Many will try, but few will even come close.