xkcd replacements

{
	//set 1
	"witnesses": "thse dudes I don't know",
	"allegedly": "kinda probably",
	"new study": "tumblr post",
	"rebuild": "avenge",
	"space": "spaaaace",
	"google glass": "virtual boy",
	"smartphone": "pokedex",
	"electric": "atomic",
	"senator": "elf-lord",
	"car": "cat",
	"election": "eating contest",
	"congressional leaders": "river spirits",
	"homeland security": "homestar runner",
	"could not be reached for comment": "is guilty and everyone knows it",
	//set 2
	"debate": "dance-off",
	"self driving": "uncontrollably swerving",
	"poll": "psychic reading",
	"candidate": "airbender",
	"drone": "dog",
	"vows to": "probably won't",
	"at large": "very large",
	"successfully": "suddenly",
	"expands": "physically expands",
	"first-degree": "friggin awful",
	"second-degree": "friggin awful",
	"third-degree": "friggin awful",
	"an unknown number": "like, hundreds",
	"front runner": "blade runner",
	"global": "spherical",
	"years": "minutes",
	"minutes": "years",
	"no indication": "lots of signs",
	"urged restraint by": "drunkenly egged on",
	"horsepower": "tons of horse meat",
	//set 3
	"gaffe": "magic spell",
	"ancient": "haunted",
	"star-studded": "blood-soaked",
	"remains to be seen": "will never be known",
	"silver bullet": "way to kill werewolves",
	"subway system": "tunnels I found",
	"surprising": "surprising (but not to me)",
	"war of words": "interplanetary war",
	"tension": "sexual tension",
	"cautiously optimistic": "delusional",
	"doctor who": "big bang theory",
	"win votes": "find pokemon",
	"behind the headlines": "beyond the grave",
	"email": "poem",
	"facebook post": "poem",
	"tweet": "poem",
	"facebook ceo": "this guy",
	"latest": "final",
	"disrupt": "destroy",
	"meeting": "menage a trois",
	"scientists": "Channing Tatum and his friends",
	"you won't believe": "I'm really sad about",
}