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//set 1
"witnesses": "thse dudes I don't know",
"allegedly": "kinda probably",
"new study": "tumblr post",
"rebuild": "avenge",
"space": "spaaaace",
"google glass": "virtual boy",
"smartphone": "pokedex",
"electric": "atomic",
"senator": "elf-lord",
"car": "cat",
"election": "eating contest",
"congressional leaders": "river spirits",
"homeland security": "homestar runner",
"could not be reached for comment": "is guilty and everyone knows it",
//set 2
"debate": "dance-off",
"self driving": "uncontrollably swerving",
"poll": "psychic reading",
"candidate": "airbender",
"drone": "dog",
"vows to": "probably won't",
"at large": "very large",
"successfully": "suddenly",
"expands": "physically expands",
"first-degree": "friggin awful",
"second-degree": "friggin awful",
"third-degree": "friggin awful",
"an unknown number": "like, hundreds",
"front runner": "blade runner",
"global": "spherical",
"years": "minutes",
"minutes": "years",
"no indication": "lots of signs",
"urged restraint by": "drunkenly egged on",
"horsepower": "tons of horse meat",
//set 3
"gaffe": "magic spell",
"ancient": "haunted",
"star-studded": "blood-soaked",
"remains to be seen": "will never be known",
"silver bullet": "way to kill werewolves",
"subway system": "tunnels I found",
"surprising": "surprising (but not to me)",
"war of words": "interplanetary war",
"tension": "sexual tension",
"cautiously optimistic": "delusional",
"doctor who": "big bang theory",
"win votes": "find pokemon",
"behind the headlines": "beyond the grave",
"email": "poem",
"facebook post": "poem",
"tweet": "poem",
"facebook ceo": "this guy",
"latest": "final",
"disrupt": "destroy",
"meeting": "menage a trois",
"scientists": "Channing Tatum and his friends",
"you won't believe": "I'm really sad about",
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