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(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), |
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m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) |
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})(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); |
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ga('create', 'UA-43808769-2', 'auto'); |
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ga('send', 'pageview'); |
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*/ |
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var obj = { |
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who: [ |
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'A band of clowns', |
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'A junior college football team', |
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'A lackluster superhero', |
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'The president of a country you do not know', |
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'The loneliest grasshopper', |
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'The bully from down the street', |
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'Crazy uncles everywhere', |
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'Your favorite senator', |
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'Outspoken movie stars', |
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'A guy dressed like a turkey', |
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'Spidermonkeys', |
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'The kid picking his nose', |
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'Two turtledoves', |
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'Our own shadows', |
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'An evil twin sister', |
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'The All-American Table Tennis Team', |
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'A vegan butcher', |
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'The anti-hero', |
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'The roommate with a snoring problem', |
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'Your imaginary significant other', |
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'A hairy monk', |
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'A skating rink DJ', |
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'A highly-aggressive salesperson', |
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'One of the extras in a hit sitcom', |
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'A terribly-timed opera singer', |
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'Molepeople', |
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'A gaggle of geese', |
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'A band of ninjas', |
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'A no-stack developer', |
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'An underpaid male model', |
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'A comic-sans loving designer', |
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'That rapper from your high school', |
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'A start-up founder with the next big thing', |
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'Beauty school dropouts', |
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'Martians' |
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], |
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what: [ |
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'can file their taxes', |
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'can do the right thing', |
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'can run for their life', |
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'can bake a pizza made out of cookies', |
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'can do an ollie', |
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'can find the meaning of life', |
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'can plan their retirement', |
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'can reevaluate their life choices', |
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'can pick where to go to lunch', |
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'can finally ask their crush out', |
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'can whip it and nae nae', |
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'can sing the blues', |
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'can fix the economy', |
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'can do it all', |
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'can poop', |
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'can become a real-estate mogul', |
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'can code worthless web apps', |
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'can catch their own tail', |
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'can book a trip to Kansas', |
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'can commit insurance fraud', |
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'can score a goal for the right team', |
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'can avoid calling their ex', |
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'can lead a silent disco', |
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'can shake it like a polaroid picture', |
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'can watch a rom-com without crying', |
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'can sing Total Eclipse of the Heart', |
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'can cure the zombie outbreak', |
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'can subvert a government', |
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'can shoot frickin laser beams out of their eyes', |
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'can eat a barrel of pickles', |
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'can take this little piggy to the market', |
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'can make America great again', |
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'can write a decent hill', |
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'can dwell on the past', |
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'can remember the titans', |
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'can remember their mother\u0027s birthday', |
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'can arm wrestle a bear' |
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], |
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wow: [ |
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'faster than the speed of light.', |
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'with no hands.', |
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'without help from their mother.', |
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'underwater.', |
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'upside down.', |
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'on a Monday.', |
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'in the dark.', |
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'with only a spatula.', |
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'in my butt.', |
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'without being condescending.', |
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'like a boss.', |
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'and only give up five times.', |
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'without anybody noticing.', |
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'and only mess up a bit.', |
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'way better than their arch-enemy.', |
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'with their faces inside out.', |
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'unlike that James guy.', |
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'during rush hour.', |
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'without losing any body parts.', |
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'without spilling their beer.', |
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'at the top of every hour.', |
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'very discreetly.', |
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'while collaborating remotely.', |
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'in skinny jeans.', |
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'like a smooth criminal.', |
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'and blame it all on the dog.', |
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'blindfolded.', |
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'with their toes.', |
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'while sleeping the weekend away.', |
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'without a conference call.', |
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'wearing nothing but a smile.', |
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'without asking permission.', |
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'without a hill.', |
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'in the vacuum of space.', |
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'in fewer than three clicks.', |
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'with no consequences.' |
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] |
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} |
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function randomizeText(part) { |
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var text = obj[part][Math.floor(Math.random() * obj[part].length)]; |
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document.querySelector('.hill__' + part).innerHTML = text; |
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}; |
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function generateHill() { |
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var generateWho = setInterval(function() { |
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randomizeText('who') |
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}, 100); |
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setTimeout(function() { |
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clearInterval(generateWho); |
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var generateWhat = setInterval(function() { |
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randomizeText('what') |
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}, 100); |
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setTimeout(function() { |
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clearInterval(generateWhat); |
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var generateWow = setInterval(function() { |
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randomizeText('wow') |
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}, 100); |
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setTimeout(function() { |
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clearInterval(generateWow); |
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}, 500); |
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}, 500); |
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}, 500); |
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ga('send', 'event', 'Hill Generator', 'generated'); |
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}; |
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generateHill(); |