Tput.java

// When I run `tput cols` in the shell, it prints '270'.
// When I run `tput cols` inside a Ruby program, it returns '270'.
// When I run this program, is prints '80'.
// WTF?

import java.lang.*;
import java.io.*;

public class Tput {
  public static void main(String[] args) throws IOException {
    ProcessBuilder pb = new ProcessBuilder("tput", "cols");
    InputStream is = pb.start().getInputStream();

    int bite = 0;
    StringBuffer buffer = new StringBuffer();

    while (bite != -1) {
      bite = is.read();
      buffer.append((char)bite);
    }
    System.out.println(buffer.toString());
  }
}

One of the things I learned from my younger years of writing code for MUD/MUSHes is that the client WILL lie about it's width. It's just one of those things that only telnet got right, mainly because telnet was the one deciding the API for this sort of shit.

For anyone coming across this, the ProcessBuilder has an .inheritIO method on it which your can call before .start(). This will cause the documented behavior which in turn will make tput return the expected dimensions.