Obama's first script

gistfile1.js

function findSnowden() {
  var latitude=-90.0, longitude=-180.0;
  var delta=1e-5;
  var found=false;
  
  // TODO: Speed up this part
  while (!found && latitude <= 90.0 && longitude <= 180.0) {
    var squareMeter = Russia.getRegion(latitude, longitude, 1.0, 1.0);
    if (squareMeter) {
      var results = squareMeter.find(function(person) {
        return person.description.match(/thirty.*hacker/);
      });
      
      for (var person in results) {
        if (!person.isMale || !person.hasBeard()) continue;
        
        // now what??
        
        // finish this after Colbert taping.
      }
    }
    
    if (Defense.Secretary.current == null) {
      Defense.Secretary.current = Defense.Bureaucrat.getNext();
      Senate.submit(Defense.Secretary.current);
    }

    // TODO: Learn nested loops.
    latitude += delta;
    longitude += delta;
  }
}