Better clickbait (more clickbaity) http://jonathan50.github.io/clickbait.html

clickbait.js

function Words(...templates) {
  this.templates = templates
}
Words.prototype.generate = function() {
  return this.templates.map(generate).join(' ')
}

function generate(template) {
  if(template instanceof Words)
    return template.generate()
  if(template instanceof Function)
    return template()
  if(!(template instanceof Array))
    return template
  return template.map(generate)[Math.floor(Math.random() * template.length)]
}

const scratchers = ['mres', 'Paddle2See', 'kaj', 'speakvisually', 'griffpatch', 'Gobo', 'ScratchCat']

var bigRandom = () => Math.floor(Math.random() * 99999)
const marks = ['!', '!', '!', '!', '1']
var exclamations = () => '!'.repeat(Math.floor(Math.random() * 10) + 2)
                            .split('')
                            .map(x => marks[Math.floor(Math.random() * marks.length)])
                            .join('')

const template = [
  new Words(
    ['Learn these', 'Click to learn these', 'Find out'],
    bigRandom,
    ['great tricks', 'stunning amazing tricks', 'weird ways'],
    'to',
    ['eat', 'hack', 'follow', 'get followed by', 'lose weight with the help of', 'get hacked by'],
    ['yourself', scratchers],
    exclamations
  ),
  new Words(
    [
      new Words(
        ['Mods', 'Moderators', 'ST', 'The Scratch Team', 'Scratchers', scratchers],
        'hate him',
        exclamations
      ),
      new Words()
    ],
    ['He', 'She', scratchers],
    [
      'got banned',
      'shared a project',
      new Words(['followed', 'ate', 'hacked', 'got followed by'], ['himself', 'herself', scratchers]),
      'lost weight'
    ],
    ',',
    ['you will be amazed by', 'it is absolutely shocking', "you'll never guess"],
    ['what happened next', 'the consequences'],
    exclamations
  ),
  new Words(
    ['Find out', 'Learn', 'Discover'],
    ['how', 'why'],
    ['he', 'she', scratchers],
    [
      'lost weight',
      'got banned',
      new Words(['followed', 'ate', 'hacked', 'got followed by'], ['himself', 'herself', scratchers])
    ],
    [
      new Words(
        'in',
        bigRandom,
        ['easy', 'simple'],
        'steps!',
        exclamations
      ),
      new Words(
        'by watching this',
        bigRandom,
        ['second', 'hour'],
        'video',
        exclamations
      )
    ]
  ),
  new Words(
    bigRandom,
    ['amazing', 'shocking'],
    ['things', 'facts', 'secrets'],
    'you',
    ["DIDN'T KNOW", "didn't know", 'never knew'],
    'about',
    ['the ST', 'the Scratch Team', scratchers]
  )
]

function clickbait() {
  return generate(template)
}