Java developer: Mom can we have pattern matching? Mom: We have pattern matching at home

main.java

public class Main {
  public static void main(String[] args) {
    try {
        Parser.parse("yo");
    } catch (StringType s) {
        System.out.println(s.value);
    } catch (IntegerType i) {
        System.out.println(i.asString());
    } catch (Type _t) {
        System.out.println("unknown type");
    }
  }
}
class Parser {
    static void parse(Object o) throws Type {
        if (o instanceof String) throw new StringType((String)o);
        if (o instanceof Integer) throw new IntegerType((int)o);
    }
}
class Type extends Exception { }
class StringType extends Type {
    public final String value;
    public StringType(final String value) {
        this.value = value;
    }
}
class IntegerType extends Type {
    private final int value;
    public String asString() {
        return String.valueOf(value);
    }
    public IntegerType(final int value) {
        this.value = value;
    }
}