lol pbcopy. pbjelly. hehe. hehehe. heh. heh.

romanfuckinnumeralsbitch.js

/*
this turns a number into a roman numeral
and a roman numeral into a number
*/

var NUMBERZ = {
              1: 'I',
              5: 'V',
              10: 'X',
              50: 'L',
              100: 'C',
              500: 'D',
              1000: 'M'
             };

var ROMANZ = {
              'I': 1,
              'V': 5,
              'X': 10,
              'L': 50,
              'C': 100,
              'D': 500,
              'M': 1000
             };
var jesusChrist = [], jesusChrist2 = []; // forgive me my father for i have sinned
for (var shit in NUMBERZ) {
  jesusChrist.push(parseInt(shit));
  jesusChrist2.push(NUMBERZ[shit]);
}
jesusChrist.sort(function(a,b) { return a>b; }); // benjamin challenged me about whether or not it would auto sort, so i threw this shit in there for good measure
var numberOfRomanThings = jesusChrist.length;

function num2rom(n) {
  // n is a number
  // this function will return the correct roman numeral representation of the number. up to 3999, i think.
  var num = n, rom = '';
  var idx = numberOfRomanThings-1;
  for (; idx >= 0 && num > 0; idx--) {
    var divisor = jesusChrist[idx];
    quotient = Math.floor(num/divisor);
    num %= divisor;
    // quotient can be 0-4
    if (quotient == 0) { continue; }
    if (quotient < 4) { for (var i = 0; i < quotient; i++) { rom += NUMBERZ[divisor] } continue; }
    var oneAgo = NUMBERZ[jesusChrist[idx+1]];
    var twoAgo = NUMBERZ[jesusChrist[idx+2]];
    if (rom.slice(-1) === oneAgo) {
      rom = rom.slice(0,-1);
      rom += NUMBERZ[divisor]+twoAgo;
    } else {
      rom += NUMBERZ[divisor]+oneAgo;
    }
  }
  //console.log(rom);
  return rom;
}

/* too high to prettify this right now */

function whatIsTheTensPlaceOneBelowMine(someRomanNumeral) {
  var larger = someRomanNumeral;
  var largerVal = ROMANZ[larger];
  var oneFifthOfLarger = largerVal/5; //value
  var romanNumeralValueOfOneDown = ROMANZ[jesusChrist2[jesusChrist2.indexOf(someRomanNumeral) - 1]];
  return oneFifthOfLarger === romanNumeralValueOfOneDown ? jesusChrist[jesusChrist2.indexOf(someRomanNumeral)-1] : jesusChrist[jesusChrist2.indexOf(someRomanNumeral)-2];
}

function rom2num(r) {
  // r is a roman numeral
  var substr = r, num = 0;
  while (substr.length > 0) {
    var currentChar = substr[0];
    substr = substr.slice(1);
    var nextChar = substr[0] || '';
    var currentVal = ROMANZ[currentChar];
    var nextVal = ROMANZ[nextChar] || 0;
    if (nextVal > currentVal) {
      substr = substr.slice(1); // throw both things away
      var tenToThePowerOfTenLessThanLog10This = whatIsTheTensPlaceOneBelowMine(nextChar);
      num += (nextVal - tenToThePowerOfTenLessThanLog10This);
    } else {
      num += currentVal;
    }
  }
  return num
}

//tests

var limit = 4000;
var inc = 1;

for (var j = 0; j < limit; j+=inc) {
  console.log(j,"=",rom2num(num2rom(j)),j===rom2num(num2rom(j)));
}

I HOPE NO ONE EVER FINDS THIS

This is seriously the worst fucking thing ever. I can't even fucking read this. What the fuck, self. WHAT THE FUCK

LMFAO THIS ENDLESSLY AMUSES