#Bangkok Survival Guide This is by no means complete or anything, but hopefully it'll give you a quick rundown of how I learned to enjoy and indeed fall in love with Bangkok. It is by no means everyone's cup of tea, so I will take no offense if you hate it, hate my ideas of what to do, or whatever. So... Here we go!
PS I didn't proofread this at all.
##Stay Near Saphan Taksin It has a BTS station and a boat pier. The neighborhood sucks but you wont spend any time there. You'll get the fuck out and thanks to the public transit available there you'll be able to go anywhere in the city ASAP regardless of traffic.
##Transportation The key to the city is access to transportation next to your bed. Once you have access, you just need to understand the different ways to get around, how they are effected by traffic, and how to mitigate those effects. Kind of like any city in the world.
###BTS & MRT There are four train lines in Bangkok - the BTS, MRT, Airport Link which gets you to BKK and the actual train in Hua Lumphong.
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The BTS, aka the SkyTrain is the elevated train that will be the most obvious. It has two routes (the Silom Line and the Sukhumvit Line). The BTS connects to the MRT.
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The MRT is an actual subway. The BTS and MRT connect in a few places and each as well to the Airport Link. The MRT connects to Hua Lumphong to get you to the actual train which you are arriving and departing with. The MRT only has one line.
To get on the trains is fairly simple.
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The MRT has machines that accept bills, or you can buy a ticket direct from a station agent. They give you a little plastic coin that you press to the gate and get through. You'll figure it out.
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The BTS is more of a pain, especially during rush hour. The machines only accept coins but you can get change from a station agent. You cannot buy tickets from the station agents. The machines dispense a card that works just like BART.
The BTS and MRT are good ways to access Bangkok's city center (ie anywhere with a BTS or MRT stop). During rush hour they are hands down the best way to get around if you're going farther than what would be a 10 minute drive.
The BTS and MRT generally run until midnight.
###Boats There are a few forms of boat transport:
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The Chao Praya Express is what most people use. They function like busses. Not all of the stops function throughout the day. Each stop, or pier, has a number of colored flags on the dock. The colored flag corresponds to which boat line stops there. Each boat line has different operating hours and frequency. Check out this map and schedule for the Chao Praya Express. Each pier has two docks, one going north and one going south. To get on the boat you just jump on like everyone else. Someone will come up and ask you for money, it's dirt cheap, like 20THB. The Chao Praya Express is my favorite way to get around Bangkok! Don't miss it!. The docks usually have some cool shit to do around them.
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The cross-river ferry is like 5THB and runs across the river. Good for getting from Wat Pho to Wang Lung.
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There is a shitty tourist version of the Chao Praya Express. It uses the blue flag. It doesn't stop in most places and doesn't run as often.
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Longtails! No one really uses the except to go on a "canal tour". It's touristy and kinda lame, but can be a lot of fun if you're game. It's usually a couple thousand baht for an hour, but worth it if it sounds like something you'd enjoy. The cheapest I've seen them in on the Central Pier, next to the Saphan Taksin BTS.
The Chao Praya Express is the best, and only way, to access the areas up and down the river if you are already near the river.
###Taxis Bangkok has a lovely taxi system as long as there isn't any traffic. Most areas of the city are basically inaccessible via taxi at rush hour. You'll be walking around, surrounded by taxis, but all of the sudden none of them will take you anywhere for less than 300THB. This is because traffic all of the sudden is terrible.
Most often you'll be able to get a taxi for the meter rate, and unlike Vietnam the meters are almost never scams. So always insist on the meter. If three or so taxis in a row won't take you for the meter rate, pick a different way to get there. Even if you find some sucker to take you there, you'll likely be stuck in traffic for hours.
**Barring rush hour, taxis are thema best way to get around the city. A 10 minute ride will run you about 50THB, a 2 hour ride around 350THB.
###Motorcycles There are motorcycle dudes in colored vests all over, most often orange or purple. These are the motorcycle taxis. Unlike taxis, you must negotiate a fixed rate beforehand. Usually they're pretty fair. Just walk up like you know what you're doing, tell them where you want to go and get on. Don't ask how much. If rarely will a ride cost more than 100THB because they wouldn't take you far enough to charge more.
Sometimes they'll quote you a price before you get on, if it seems reasonable just go for it, or look at him like he's an asshole and knock 20THB off. But to seem like a local expat, act like you know the price, get on, toss him 100THB when you get there and then get your change.
Motorcycle taxis and the BTS/MRT go together really well. It's my favorite way to get around the city center, even when it's not rush hour. It's also great because this method works regardless of traffic.
The only reason they will turn down a fare is because you are asking them to take you too far. These guys don't like to drive for long, its more for 5-15 minute hops. Sometimes I'll talk a guy into taking me really far for 200-300THB just because it's so fun.
###Tuk Tuks Haggle zone tourist scam. Don't bother. Pretend they don't exist. Unless you have really good haggling skills. But I've never gotten a good deal, ever and I know people who've been robbed and scammed to hell and back by them.
##Street numbers Bangkok is a big city with a lot of very diverse neighborhoods. Sukhuvmit is pretty much the main drag, it runs east/west through the city all the way to Cambodia. The small streets that bisect it are called Sois. So if you see that a business's address is 123 Sukhumvit Soi 31, or 123 Sukhumvit 31, or maybe even just Sukhumvit 31, it's on the the 31st street that crosses Sukhumvit. The numbers acscend from west to east. It applies it other neighborhoods with large streets as well.
##Getting around during traffic Avoid taxis. Combine the Chao Praya Express/BTS/MRT with motorcycle taxis.
#Fun Things To Do Bangkok is a huge diverse city with a wide range of delicious food and fun things to do.
##Markets Markets can be a ton of fun. Show up hungry, don't be afraid to eat the food. You might get Bangkok belly but you're going to get that anyway so eat up. It's not like China, everyone eats street food here.
###Night Markets They're awesome. Go to them.. My friends all love Talat Rot Fai, but I haven't been yet.
###Weekend Market If you want to do some knickknack shopping, the Weekend Market up in Chatuchak (Mochit BTS) is the place. It obviously only runs on weekends, but it's good fun. The coconut ice cream is tasty and there are million and a half souvenirs to buy. There is also an animal market next door with all manner of bizarre pets, from geese to pygmy marmosets. The animal market runs all week long.
Just get off the BTS at Mochit and you should see it, if you don't, Google it or ask around while you're there. You could throw a rock at it from the BTS station.
###Bang Nam Pheung Floating Market I've never been but I've always wanted to go. It's across the river on the south end of Bangkok. Supposed to be lovely. You should really go, here's a story about it.
###Wang Lung Market This is my favorite market in Bangkok. It's nothing particularly special, but it's along the river and has tons of food. Get off on the N10 pier, head out and the market is immediately to your left. This is also near the Siriraj Medical Museum.
###Chinatown Walking Street A fun way to waste an afternoon if you aren't already marketed out. Nothing special, but if you love markets why not. Kinda hard to get to.
##Bars Bars aren't my thing, but if you have good company it'd be hard to advise against at least one night out on the town.
###Skytrain Jazz Bar My favorite little rooftop dive bar. It's a bit hard to find, and when you do you won't be sure you actually did until you climb 4 or 5 flights of what look like an abandoned building. The LP has a little article stub about it here. Follow their directions (Victory Monument BTS, ext 2, head south a block or so, the door is to the left of a nice little eatery). If you can't find it just ask around, people will know.
###Bar 23 My second favorite dive bar in Bangkok. No seating, good music, plenty of space and good drinks. A great place to warm up for the (in)famous Wong's. This review is pretty accurate..
###Wong's Go to Wong's. Just go. It's an institution and it won't be here forever. A holdout from the days when the only people in Bangkok were french foreign journalists and burnouts sipping gin, it's a fantastic little taste of the past, a time before package tours and whiskey buckets.
Start at Bar23, and when it closes at 2am, head to Wong's with everyone else via taxi.
Wear clothes that you don't mind getting dirty.
##Restaurants There are just so many good restaurants. Eat!
###Taksura There are two or three locations. I have only been to the one off Ratchadamri BTS. It's really fun and tasty. Get the Yam Pla Duk Foo, aka fried minced catfish with a side of Som Tam, aka Papaya Salad. $5-10/plate.
It can be hard to find, but don't give up!
###If It Is A really cute little place to get little Thai nibblies and maybe a cocktail. Tiny, tasty and a good start to a nice night. Like all of these places, easy access from the BTS. $5-10/plate, small portions.
###Flaming Chicken Unicycle Place I've never been, but I've heard stories. It's worth a night, I'm sure, just to say you did it.
###Nahm If you want to eat at what is in many circles regarded as the best Thai restaurant in the world, Nahm is it. Michelin star, the whole nine yards. I haven't been yet but I've heard great things from those who have. Pricey, to be sure, but by all accounts worth it.. $100ish/head.
###Peppina and Pala Pizza? In Bangkok. It's fucking delicious and if you're craving some pizza these are the places. Pala is Roman style by the slice, Peppina is Neapolitan and a little fancier (get the Tronchetta).
###Burger Need a burger? Look no further than GameOver.
##Street Food The street is the place to eat! Don't be bashful.
##Malls The food is surprisingly great, and a lot of them have branches of local restaurants. Emquartier has this thing called the Helix with a ton of good food, and the food court in the basement is awesome.
###Food I Like
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Sausages with cabbage. Served on a stick with sausages. Served with cabbage, ginger and thai chili. Take a bite of cabbage, throw in some ginger, and one chili, take a bite of sausage, and then chew it all together. Refreshing! Delicious! Tasty! 15THB.
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Tiny sausage balls. Similar in color to the above, they are smaller, rounder, and milder in flavor. Seen hanging on as string with perhaps 50 sausages/string. A great snack. 15THB.
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Tom Kha. Tasty soup! My fav.
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Pad Thai. An old classic. Served with four condiments, I highly recommend ample fish sauce, some chili powder, a sprinkle of sugar, and I skip the vinegar. Experiment! And don't forget the lime!
###Thong Lor Sukhumvit Soi 38 has my favorite street food come dinner time. Dusit (a northern neighbordhoo) is good for lunch, as is Wang Lung. Chinatown is good for dinner but overwhelming and inaccessible. Suk38 is right off the BTS and damn tasty with great options but not an overwhelming amount. Make sure you don't miss it!
###Chinatown Walking Street is a decent daytime food area. At night Chinatown goes crazy. I don't particularly enjoy it, it's ahrd to get to and there is just too much going on. But you might like it.
###Wang Lung Favorite lunch time street food area. So many snacks! Be hungry.
##Activities
###Wat Pho My favorite temple in the city. Easy access from the boat. Closes at 4 or 5, I recommend going 30min before closing and staying after they close to watch the sunset.
###Wat Arun Across from Wat Pho, south of Wang Lung, it's a neat temple that you can climb up. Good view of the city.
###Siriraj Medical Museum Walking distance from Wang Lung with easy river access. Dead babies in jars, severed arms, pickled siamese twins that have been sawed in half. Bangkok at its weirdest. Check the opening time and hours before you make the trek.
###Movies Sometimes a good movie is in order. All the big malls (Siam/MBK, accessible from Siam BTS) have movie theatres. Across from Siam Paragon Mall (Siam BTS) on the ground level there is the Lido theatre. 100THB, decent screens and good movies. The bigger theatres are top quality and around 300THB.
###Feed the catfish at Thewet (N15) If you're on the boat and nearby, get off on pier 15, spend 50THB on a huge bag of stale bread and feed the catfish. Ridiculous and fun.
###Canal ride from Saphan Taksin A longtail through the canals is a good waste of a few hours. Saphan Taksin in cheapest.
###Chinatown Bike Tour This is the best way to see Chinatown. Unfortunately a tour is a necessity, it's hard to get around and find the cool shit.
###Bang Nam Pheung, aka the Green Lung Never been but really want to go and highly recommend that you do. Do what this article says and make sure you boat to the main Phra Pradaeng pier from Klong Toey and rent a bike there.
#Itinerary Ideas
##River Day Start with an early morning canal tour, have them drop you at pier 10. Have breakfast/lunch at Wang Lung market. Head to the medical museum and get grossed out. Bounce across the river and get a beer at the bar above the pier. The corner seat has a great view. Head to Wat Pho and get your temple on.
##Out on the town Start with a late dinner at Taksura. Head up to Skytrain Jazz Club via the BTS, get a nice drink at 10pm or so. At 11pm or 12am, get a taxi to Bar23. Stay until 2am. Take another taxi to Mr. Wong's. Sounds like a great night!
##Bicycles and boats Take the boat downt to Klong Toey, a longtail across to the Green Lung and rent bikes. Bike around and stop at the market.