- Boys are different
- How would you like life with your son to be different?
- Cause of problems: Nature and nurture
- Descriptive Praise
- Preparing for Success
- Reflective Listening
- Never Ask Twice
- Following through with Rewards and Consequences
- Special Time
- The role of fathers, and now mothers can support fathers
- Providing a wholesome lifestyle
- Getting ready in the mornings
- Mealtimes
- Tidying up and taking care of belongings
- Screentime
- Contributing to the family and to the community
- Communication
- Playing independently
- Exercise
- Sibling relationships
- Peer relationstips
- Bedtimes, sleep and rest
- Academic success and the boy brain: Problems and causes
- Improving impulse control
- Making homework and home learning more enjoyable and productive
- Improving revision skills
- Improving literacy and thinking skills
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Noel has asked her parents:
What are the values and skills and habits you want your sons and daughters to be/have:
- Cooperative
- Confident
- Motivated
- Self-reliant
- Considerate
Cooperation is the gateway habbit. The other four positive characteristics tart to blossom as a result.
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Concerns of parents of boys which she then links to other sections of the book.
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Pysical energy/resltessness
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Distractibility
- Not the same as an inability to concentrate
- Boys must learn to concentrate on something when they don't feel like concentrating like schoolwork and homework (See. Ch23 - academic success)
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Immature impulse-control
- See strategies in section two
- Using constructive outlets for frustration, anxiety, aggression and urge to be silly at the wrong time/place
- Ch5 - Preparing for success
- Boy brains impulsivity means boys are slower to mature in the haits needed for school success
- staying silent
- staying still
- following multi-part instructuions
- focused on an activity not of their own choosing
- paying attention to details
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Aggression and competitiveness
- Mothers are more likely to be upset by this and predict a dire outcome, Fathers having once been busy usually understand the nature of boys so don't worry.
- Boys are much less prone to physical or verbal outbursts when they are getting plenty of sleep and exercise. - Sections Two and Three explain how to make these lifestyle changes
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Risk-taking, drive for excitement, fascination with the forbidden
- Fathers and adult males can have a huge influence on what a growing boy finds interesting/satisfying
- Ch10. The role of fathers
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Lack of empathy and considerations
- First step is for parents to model empathy when children are upset. This is hard to do when chil's upset feelings comes annoying or disrpruptive behaviour.
- Ch6. Relective Empathising/Listening
- Ch4. Descriptive Praise
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Immature Social Skills
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Skills to be taught and trained. Reminding and telling off won't work as won't staying silent and waiting for maturity since youngsters may be "practicing" and cementing unhelpful habbits/practices
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Training of social skills to be subdivivided into micro skills:
- Greeting people, peers, extended family
- Iniate, maintain conversation
- Ask, answer questions
- Share
- Express an opinion without being domineering
- Lead and following in games
- Establish, maintain eye-contact
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Immature Fine motor Skills
- Because it takes boys longer to grasp motor skills like dressing oneself, it can be tempting to keep doing things for your son.
- This can lead to lack of cooperations and respsect and lack of self-reliance and respinsilibity
- Section three
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Physicality Nature vs. Nurture
The male body is designed for hour-long physical acttivity but in modern life we may not provide sufficient outlet for boys phyiscal energy.
Distractability, concentration issues & immaturity Nature vs. Nurture
Due to the male physiology and specialisation on muscle development, the boy brain may not develop language and fine motor skills as quickly as girls. Even though we want to influence boys to become more sensible, angry, repeating and telling off will likely only increase resentment, alienation or belimttlement in years leading up to adolescence.
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