fine-print.txt

Fine Print

Unusual legal footnotes

Oberwetter v. Hilliard, 2011

Police arrest the plaintiff in April 2008 for silently dancing
inside the Jefferson Memorial to celebrate Thomas Jeffer-
son’ birthday. She claims her treatment violated the First
Amendment. The DC Circuit disagrees.

DC Comics v. Towle, 2015

DC Comics sues Mark Towle, who has been selling
Batmobile replicas, for infringing on copyright of the
futional vehicle. The Ninth Circuit affirms DC's copyright
while adding “Holy copyright law, Batman!” to court records.

 

BR

For his part, Mr. Jefferson is on record discouraging cel-
ebration of his birthday. “On Mr. Jefferson's accession to
the presidency [visitors] had waited on him, requesting
to be informed which was his birthday, as they wished to
celebrate it with proper respect. “The only birthday I ever
commemorate,’ replied he, ‘is that of our Independence,
the Fourth of July.”

Pirbhai v. Singh, 2010

Kalimuddin Pirbhai sues Gurnek Singh after the former
had asked the latter to procure for him a high-end car but
instead received a clunker. Pirbhai asked for a refund, which
never came. A judge in Ontario sides with Pirbhai and
notes that “Singh's credibility had immolated.”

4 Indeed, by the end of the trial, if Singh were to have testi-
fied that the world was round, I immediately would have
sought membership in the Flat Earth Society.

Medina v. Romanofsky, 2017

Judge Philip S. Straniere, called the “bard of the Staten
Island courts,” decides a case between a woman walking
her goldendoodle and a man whose German shepherd
had escaped its yard and attacked her pet. She is awarded
damages equal to her veterinary expenses.

1 “Who Let the Dogs Out” by the Baha Men allegedly has
nothing to do with canines. However, because I have not
been able to understand the lyrics to any song written since
the Fillmore East closed, I have appropriated the title solely
to make a point and will ignore the content of the song.

6 This episode causes Robin to exclaim, “Whee! The Batplane
couldn't do better!”

Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc., 1994
Acuff~Rose Music sues rapper Luther Campbell (aka Luke
Skyywalker) for parodying the Roy Orbison song “Oh,
Pretty Woman’ on a 2 Live Crew album. The Supreme
Court decides that borrowing the song constituted fair use.

 

17 We note in passing that 2 Live Crew need not label its whole
album, or even this song, a parody in order to claim fair use
protection, nor should 2 Live Crew be penalized for this
being its first parodic essay. Parody serves its goals whether
labeled or not, and there is no reason to require parody to
state the obvious (or even the reasonably perceived).

Obergefell v. Hodges, 2015

The Supreme Court rules that the Fourteenth Amendment
mandates same-sex marriages be recognized in all fifty
states. Justice Antonin Scalia dissents, complaining that the
opinion is ‘as pretentious as its content is egotistic.”

 

22 If, even as the price to be paid for a fifth vote, I ever
joined an opinion for the court that began: “The Consti-
tution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that
includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a
lawful realm, to define and express their identity,” I would
hide my head in a bag. The Supreme Court of the United
States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning
of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical apho-
risms of the fortune cookie.