overheard

overheard.md

• that looks like a my tests passed dance
• I do love an organ in a jar
• your ego is writing checks your body can't cash
• it was tarantula season
• after that I'm going to make a bonfire of clocks and you're all invited
• did you just come from the gym? I don't want to call attention to you, but you look jacked right now.
• gotta keep a standard baseline of caffeine at all times. It's like the movie Speed but I'm the bus. I've got a tiny Sandra Bullock in me.
• hotel motel holiday inn is apparently a cultural reference
• he was onstage with a horse. the horse was also naked.
• so the question is, are you super cool.. all the time
• there's a donkey bartender
• yeah but I'm like an elder millenial
• "we'll have many opportunities to have toasts come up" "it's going to be a fuckin' bread factory"
• "well peanuts are legumes but we don't call them peagumes"
• "I scope people out in a room, like whether their pants are loose" "like, to pants them?" "...yeah"
• "everyone at the office looks so good toda.." (looks over and sees Kevin) "..oh."
• "did you win at putt putt?" "I can't beat my boss, in chinese culture that's bad luck"
• for those of you who were concerned about the massive bug outside the office, I’ve escorted it to a different location
• " I GOT A 100% ON GARGANTUAN" "I think I audibly whispered “oh wtf” when gargantuan came up."
• I feel like I'm at a really basic wedding
• New Jersey was not factored into any of our models
• "Do you have an extra helmet?" "No, sorry.. but I could find a really hard bowl or something."