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Last active July 18, 2019 17:49
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Naively clean chords from Jonathan Mann lyrics (https://twitter.com/songadaymann/status/1151885756237004805)
#!/usr/bin/env node
// require some file system methods
const fs = require('fs')
(() => {
// read the file with the lyrics++
const lyrics = fs.readFileSync('./lyrics.txt', 'utf-8')
// clean out things we don't want
const withoutChordsAndStuff = lyrics
.split('\n')
// remove chord lines
.map(string => {
if (
/([A-G](#|b)?)(\(?(M|maj|major|m|min|minor|dim|sus|dom|aug)?(\+|-|add)?\d*\)?)(\/([A-G](#|b)?))?/.test(string) ||
/^([A-G](#|b)?)(\(?(M|maj|major|m|min|minor|dim|sus|dom|aug)?(\+|-|add)?\d*\)?)(\/([A-G](#|b)?))?(|.*)$/g.test(string)
) {
return ''
}
return string
})
// remove brackets stuff
.map(string => {
return string.replace(/(\[.+(\]|\[))/,'')
})
.map(string => {
return string.replace(/(\{|\().+(\}|\))/,'')
})
// remove URLs
.map(string => {
return string.replace(/https?:\/\/(www\.)?[-a-zA-Z0-9@:%._\+~#=]{1,256}\.[a-zA-Z0-9()]{1,6}\b([-a-zA-Z0-9()@:%_\+.~#?&//=]*)/, '')
})
// Inline chords
.map(string => {
return string
.replace(/([A-G](#|b)?)(\(?(M|maj|major|m|min|minor|dim|sus|dom|aug)?(\+|-|add)?\d*\)?)(\/([A-G](#|b)?))?/, '')
})
// lines with repeators (x2 etc)
.filter(string => !/x\d/.test(string))
// inline repators
.map(string => string.replace(/ \(x\d\)/,''))
// remove capitalized Song A Day + number
.filter(string => !/Song (a|A) Day /.test(string))
.filter(string => !/SongDay/.test(string))
// remove annotation
.filter(string => !/first singing note:/.test(string))
// remove intro annotation
.filter(string => !/Intro( \(guitar\)|:.*)/.test(string))
// remove twitter handles
.filter(string => !/@(\w+)/.test(string))
// write the output to a new file
fs.writeFileSync('./withoutChordsAndStuff.txt', withoutChordsAndStuff.join('\n'))
})()
This file has been truncated, but you can view the full file.
On the Day I Was Born
Song a Day #100
First Singing Note: G#
[verse]
C#m Bm
When I was born I looked like a spider monkey
C#m
My dad took one look at me
Bm
And said, “He looks like a spider monkey.”
[verse]
And I grew up and I still kinda look like a monkey
I got more hair on this side of my face than I do on this side
No matter what I do about it
[chorus x3]
E D
Spider monkey
C#m Bm
Spider monkey
Oh, spider monkey
Spider monkey
Oh, spider monkey
Spider monkey, monkey
E
Oh yeah
When the Lighthouse Went Dark
Song a Day #101
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
Dm
When the lighthouse went dark
No one saw the ship
Children weren’t safe
(Gm7/Dm/A+)
The sharkmen slid silently through the night
When the darkness came down
The men took up arms
We defended this castle
Blood dripped from the roof
[chorus]
Dm
When the lighthouse went dark
Dm
When the lighthouse went dark
Dm
When the lighthouse went dark
Gm E°
When the lighthouse went dark
[verse]
Go on, Eddie, follow your mother
She’s taking you to a safe place
Beneath the ground where the sharkmen can’t go
Cuz the lighthouse went dark
We’re running out of bullets
Gather up the swords
We may have to use pitchforks
It’s gonna be a long night
[chorus]
When the lighthouse went dark x3
When the lighthouse went dark, dark, dark
Zombie Banks
Song A Day #102
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
Am
When dealing with zombies
Dm
there are certain procedures
F
you always must follow
C
You always must follow
[verse 2]
Rule number one is go find a shotgun
Aim for a head shot
Aim for a head shot
[bridge]
G
Now would you ever let a zombie survive?
Am
NO! Why would you do that? Seriously, why would you do that?
G
What if you could study it and learn all kinds of things about it?
Am
NO! Just kill it! Haven’t you seen the movies?
[pre-chorus]
C
We’ve got zombie banks
with their toxic assets
Am G
The bankers won’t let them die
[pre-chorus 2]
But any horror movie
aficionado can tell you
that all the zombies must die
[chorus]
C
So kill the zombie banks!
F
Shoot them in their heads
Am G
Then throw their corpses into the fire
[chorus 2
Too big to fail
I say too big to live
Let’s start all over again
With community banks
Ringtone for Casey
Song a Day #103
First Singing Note: F
F
I rarely shave or wear long pants
F Bb C
I’m an old man trapped in a young man’s body
Better talk to me while you have the chance
I’m an old man trapped in a young man’s body
Pick up your phone before I die
I’m an old man trapped in a young man’s body
If you don’t and I do it’ll be your fault and you will cry
I’m an old man trapped in a young man’s body
Old man
Old man
Old man
Oreo Love
Song a Day #104
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
Am G F G
I’m an Oreo cookie who’s in love with his milk
Am G F E
But she doesn’t love me at all
Oh, whoa, woe is me
She’s as smooth as silk
But she doesn’t love me at all
Listen when I say that love’s a one way street
Feelings are something you hide
Maybe she’s snooty
Maybe she’s racist
If only she could see my inside
[chorus]
F G
We belong together more than ever like butter and jam
Though my heart is currently sunken, pretty soon we’ll be a’dunkin, oh yeah
[verse]
I’m an Oreo cookie who’s in love with his milk
Soon we’ll be together in your stomach
By then it won’t matter
But maybe it will
Maybe in the afterlife she’ll love me
One dunk, two bites
There I go
Flushed down with her milkiness
We’re mixing all together and now I know what it’s like to experience bliss
[chorus]
We belong together more than ever like butter and jam
F G E
Though my heart is currently sunken, pretty soon we’ll be a’dunkin, oh yeah
Oreos
Ringtone for Jackie
Song a Day #105
First Singing Note: G
G F C G
Jackie, turn off the overhead light
F C G
Cuz I’m cooking dinner tonight
D C D
So pick up some California wine
Em D C G
And then we’ll go, we’ll go for a walk down by the river
Em D C G
We’ll go, we’ll go for a walk and meet the stars
A D
But first you need to pick up your phone
G
It’s Johnny calling you
It’s Like Filling Up A Styrofoam Cup With A Hole in the Bottom
Song a Day # 106
First Singing Note: A
A E
It’s like trying to fill a Styrofoam cup
A D A
with a hole in the bottom
There are many solutions
Only question is whether you got ‘em
Bm
You can sit and wait for spring
Bm A D A
Or you can face the fact that it’s autumn
E
This one guy swore it was summer
D A D A
And I kid you not, they just shot him
It’s like drinking out of a Styrofoam cup and then getting cancer
There are many many questions that have more than just one answer
She spoke like an activist but walked just like a dancer
And I can’t resist that walk so I knew I had to take a chance with her
So I said, “Hey pretty baby, my Styrofoam cup’s overflowing”
“If you look the other way just be aware of the conclusions you’re forgoing”
“Is there a synchronicity in regarding the direction that we’re going?”
“Because you make me think there’s more to Styrofoam than I’m currently knowing”
Well I threw away the Styrofoam cup with the hole
It was useless
This guy picked it out of the trash
His smile was toothless
I’m glad it didn’t go to waste
But you wanna know what the truth is?
Styrofoam is like a dictator
All rigid and ruthless
It’s true
Let’s rock
Yeah!
Keyboard Shortcuts
Song a Day #107
First Singing Note: G
G
Quit
Close window
Export
Render all
New tab
Undo, undo
Underline
Italics
Open
Select all
Save
Undo
Cut
Copy
Paste
Bold
New document
Keyboard shortcuts
Ringtone for Michaela Fishback
Song a Day #108
First Singing Note: E
Em F
Michaela,
Em F
the wolves
C G F C
need your help to find the way back home
F Em G C
They can’t do it on their own
Michaela,
the wolves are calling
Please won’t you pick up your phone?
The wolves are calling and they wanna go home
Say, owwoooooo
Owooooooooo
Owooooooooo
Owoooooooooooooooo
Torture Memos: Waterboarding
Song a Day #109
First Singing Note: A
D G
The detainee is lying on a gurney that’s inclined at an angle 10 to 15 degrees
D
A cloth is placed over the detainee’s face
A
Cold water is poured on the cloth
D G
The wet cloth creates a barrier through which it is difficult
D A
Or in some cases not possible for the detainee to breathe
Bm
If the detainee makes an effort to defeat the technique
Bm A Bm
By twisting his head to the side and breathing out of the corner of his mouth
G
The interrogator may cup his hands around the detainee’s nose and mouth
G D
In which case it would not be possible for the detainee to breathe
A
Oh, to breathe
A7 D G D
But as we explained in the section 2340A Memorandum
Bm F#m G
“Pain and suffering” is best understood as a single concept
D
Not distinct concepts of “pain” as distinguished from “suffering”
A
Oh, suffering
Bm A Bm A Bm
And the waterboard which inflicts no pain or actual harm whatsoever
G D
Does not in our view inflict “severe pain or suffering”
G D
Even if one were to parse the statute more finely
G
To treat “suffering” as a distinct concept
G D
The waterboard could not be said to inflict “severe suffering”
D (F#m)A G A7 D
(The waterboard is simply a controlled acute episode
Lacking the connotation of a protracted period of time generally given to suffering)
I Am Israel, I Am Palestine
Song A Day #110
First Singing Note: B
B C#
When your family’s been fighting so long that they’ve forgotten why they fight
F# C# B C#
And they don’t know how to stop
D#m B
Two brothers at each other’s throats
C#
And neither of them can see
F# C# B C#
That the blood they sheds the same
[chorus]
F# C# B C#
Tell me what can you do
F# C# B
so your families see that they’re hurting you?
F#
What’s mine is yours
G#m7
What’s yours is mine
F# C# B
I’m Israel, I’m Palestine
(Background)
Doo doo doo…
F#
C# B
C# F#
[verse]
When your family’s steeped in fear so that the fear is all there is
Tell me who will intervene?
When an eye’s worth an eye
And the wounds run so deep
And all you want is peace
[chorus]
Tell me what can you do so your families see that they’re hurting you?
What’s mine is yours
What’s yours is mine
I’m Israel, I’m Palestine
[verse]
When your families crossed a line so that every boundary’s blurred
Tell me who will stand aside?
Both sides know they’re right
And they’ve forgotten why they fight
And the blood they shed’s the same
[chorus]
Tell me what can you do so your families see how they’re hurting you?
What’s mine is yours
What’s yours is mine
I’m Israel, I’m Palestine
I’m Israel, I’m Palestine
Cannabis Criminalization—A Short History In Song
Song a Day #111
First Singing Note: Bb
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
Eb
Well it was only 72 years ago
Eb
That the federal government suddenly said, “No more!”
Bb
They said, “No more cannabis”
Cm
“No more hemp”
Ab Bb
And since that day in August they’ve shown nothing but contempt
And the story is a very simple one
Full of greed, bigotry, and ambition
It’s about hemp versus nylon
And William Randolph Hearst
And a guy named Harry J Anslinger
[verse]
Ab Eb
And if you know anyone who smokes the stuff
You know it’s as harmless as can be
But our drug war will never be able to get enough
Bb Eb Ab Eb
Until everyone is rounded up and locked up for eternity
[verse]
Well first we have a company called Dupont (Dupont)
They invented nylon (nylon)
Well hemp can do what nylon does, and do it clean and cheap
So Dupont wanted to see it outlawed
Add to this Harry J Anslinger (Anslinger)
He was the first commissioner (commissioner)
of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics
And he set his sights on cannabis as an easy way to prove his effectiveness
You see he characterized it as a dangerous drug
As for proof he pointed to those who used it most
Which at that time was Mexican workers and black jazz musicians
So clearly this drug had to be stopped
And in steps William Randolph Hearst (William Randolph Hearst)
Who makes Rupert Murdoch kinda look like a saint (like a saint)
And every newspaper he owned
Very clearly showed how cannabis was the most dangerous thing around
[chorus]
But if you know anyone who smokes the stuff
You know it’s as harmless as can be
But our drug war will never be able to get enough
Until everyone is rounded up and locked up for eternity
[verse]
Til 72 years later it’s just a fact (just a fact)
Pot is dangerous drug, it’s as simple as that (simple as that)
Hemp’s the same as pot
And if you disagree you’re either a hippie or some lunatic fringe wacko liberal fool
But I say no to your silly outdated laws (I say no)
And I say yes to the very reasonable cause (I say yes)
I’ll knit you something out of hemp
Maybe a scarf, or a hat, or a sweater
And then we can all go get high and watch the sun set together
[chorus]
But if you know anyone who smokes the stuff
You know it’s as harmless as can be
But our drug war will never be able to get enough
Until everyone is rounded up and locked up for eternity x2
Wren the Polyamorous Polar Bear and His Story of Redemption
Song a Day #112
First Singing Note: B
[verse]
E Bm
I knew a polar bear
D A
His name was Wren
[verse]
He fell in love with a flock of penguins
But he was polyamorous
He believed it could work
[verse]
But the penguins were monogamous
So he left feeling like a big jerk
[chorus]
E Bm
Oh, Wren
F#m A
Polyamorous polar bear
Oh, Wren
Polyamorous polar bear
[verse]
He sought refuge in his iceberg home
But the ice was melting and so he set out alone
Wandering the tundra, searching for love
Cursing the ground that he walked upon
And resenting the sun above
[chorus]
Oh, Wren
Polyamorous polar bear
Oh, Wren
Polyamorous polar bear
[verse]
Two years of walking
He arrived in New York
He got a flat I Brooklyn
The fish market was his work
One day while catching the subway
He was in a big hurry
He bumped into a girl that was dressed as a polar bear furry
She introduced him to her friends
[chorus]
Oh, Wren
You finally found a new home
Yeah, Wren
The polyamorous powar bear
Oh yeah
Fire Engine Red
Song A Day #113
First Singing Note: C
[chorus]
Am Dm Am
Fire engine red
Am Bb F C
Fire engine red, whoooa
Fire engine red
Fire engine red
[verse]
F Gm F G
Pantone 185
F Gm Bb C
Fiercely independent, full of vigor and drive
F Gm F Gm
If you got a fire, then we’ll put it out
Bb C
Cuz we got the extinguisher
[chorus]
Cuz we’re fire engine red (fire engine red)
Fire engine red (fire engine red)
Fire engine red (fire engine red)
Fire engine red (fire engine red)
[verse B]
F Bb F
We’re cheaper and nicer and we have better software
A Dm
Than any of our competitors, oh yeah
Gm
We’re not trying to brag
F C
We’re just stating the facts
A Dm
When it comes to admissions, we’re completely badass
[bridge]
Gm
Fire
Dm F
engine
C
red
[verse C]
F Bb
Start small, think big
F C
Start a fire on your first day of college
Start small, think big
Don’t take no for an answer
Start small, think big
Put out the fire with your fire engine
Start small, think big
Just do what needs to be done
[chorus]
Cuz you’re fire engine red
You’re fire engine red
Fire engine red
F Bb F
Fire engine red
F C F
You’re fire engine red
Yeah, you’re fire engine red
Ohh, fire engine red
Welcome to Spintown
Song a Day #114
First Singing Note: G
G
Em (x6)
G E
Summer is melting hearts
G E
We’re dancing and making art
D C
Toiling in the garden
Bm D G
And the fairy woodland creatures welcome you to Spintown
G E
Spintown (welcome you to Spintown)
G E
Spintown
[verse]
Youtube jungle navigated, traversed
Where music and dance fall face first
Curated and presented, hungry, unrelenting
Representing one man’s vision of the best that’s being offered
[chorus]
Spintown!
Spintown (spin, spin, spin, spin)
Spintown (welcome you to Spintown)
G
G Em G
(Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum)
1, 2, 3, 4
[chorus x3]
Spintown (welcome you to Spintown) x4
We welcome you to Spintown
Welcome!
Lindsay McCove Went Out On A Date
Song a Day #115
First Singing Note: C
C F
Lindsay McCove went out on a date
C Em G
Lindsay McCove, it didn’t go so great
C F
Lindsay McCove went home and got drunk
G F C
Lindsay McCove made a video blog
And when she burped, the end
She burped, the end
She burped
I hope she didn’t do his taxes
She burped
The end
Steve the Hippo
Song a Day #116
First Singing Note: E
[verse]
C G
Deep in the jungles of Africa
Am F
There lives a little boy who’s not a boy at all
[chorus]
C G Am Fm
Well, he’s a hippo with multiple personalities
A hippo with multiple personalities
[verse]
Won’t someone go and tell him
He’s not king of the jungle
Someone break the news
That he does not belong in that tree
But his mother had disowned him
He had a hard time making friends
[chorus]
Cuz he’s a hippo with multiple personalities
A hippo with multiple personalities
[verse]
Sometimes he thinks that he has wings
Like a bird or a bat
When humans come look at him
He wants to try on their hats
And then everybody laughs at him
And Steve's left feeling sad
[Chorus]
[verse]
Truthfully, they're afraid of him
They think he’s tres bizarre
But that all changes when the full moon rises
And he breaks out his guitar
And he plays!
And he plays!
And he plays!
And the whole jungle weeps
And the whole jungle weeps
He’s a hippo with multiple personalities
A hippo with multiple personalities x4
Go, hippo, go! X4
A hippo with multiple personalities x4
Don’t Let Your Ovaries get You Down
Song a Day #117
First Singing Note: D
Bb Eb Bb Eb
Once a month there comes a time
Dm Eb Bb
When you don’t want to hang out with your friends
Am Gm Am Gm
You sit alone and cry and moan
Am Gm C
About the pain that will never end
But I’m your friend and I want to hang
With the Sunday morning blossoms and the sun
Come out and feel the breeze
Tell your ovaries that it’s time to go have some fun
[chorus]
Bb Eb Bb Eb
Don’t let your ovaries get you down
Bb Eb Bb F
You’re the most powerful woman around
Don’t let your ovaries ruin your day
Come out and play with me
Come out and play with me
Ringtone for Liam and Kean’s Dad
Song a Day #118
First Singing Note: G#
[verse]
E
Why’s Obama missing it?
F#m
The banker’s ring, he’s kissing it
A E
No, I don’t understand it at all!
[verse]
All you can do is find a way
To get the workers compensated
Do your best and stand tall
[chorus]
B
So Liam and Keane say
C#m A
“Dad we’re proud of you”
B C#m A
“Even though you lose your sunglasses all the time”
B
Liam and Keen say
C#m A
“Dad we’re proud of you”
A E
“And we know you’re proud of us, too”
Swine Flu—The Musical
Song a Day #119
First Singing Note:
Intro:
D C A x2
[verse]
D
Is it scary?
C
Should I be frightened?
A
Oh yes! Through and through!
What’s the name of this crisis?
I think we’ll call this one…Swine Flu!
[chorus]
D C
Swine flu, swine flu
A
Well, I’m freaked out
G A
How about you?
Swine flu, swine flu
Where can we go?
What can we do?
[verse]
What are the signs?
What are the symptoms?
Like the regular flu, as far as we know
So what makes this one different?
100 dead in Mexico!
[bridge]
Bm
And the circumstances around their deaths?
C#m
Of this we cannot be sure
D
Well isn’t that part kind of important?
E
Well, what do you need to know that for?
[b section]
F#m E D A
Well for one thing, what if they had pre existing conditions?
Or maybe they just let the flu get out of hand
I mean, tens of thousands of people die every year from the normal flu
[bridge]
Bm
So if you’re gonna give me scary facts
D E7
You better have your scary facts all planned
[coda/chorus b]
A E
Swine flu,
Cm D
I’m not afraid til I get some proof
I have this feeling you’re trying to sell me medicine
(No…)
Swine flu, swine flu
Media, what are you trying to do?
A E D
Don’t we have enough problems as it is?
E A
Please just leave me the hell alone
Thank you
Lost in the Tubes
Song a Day #120
First Singing Note: E
C G
You may wake up one morning
F C G
The sun will be out shining
C G
You’ll wipe your eyes and you’ll realize
F C
You’ve been awake for 40 days
And that’s when it’ll hit you
You’ve been at your computer
Youtube and Facebook and Twitter
And you’ll be amazed
Can you really, really tell me
That you get satisfied
Getting lost in the tangle of tubes while you’re losing your mind?
Your mind
There’s only one known cure for this
And if you’ve got it don’t take any chances
Put on your pants
Cancel your plans
Get outside and get dancing
DANCE BREAKDOWN
Guitar Solo over verse x5
The Continuing Adventures of Bulldog and Dude
Song a Day #121
First Singing Note:
[verse]
Am
Gather round
Tell you all a little story
About a tiki bar down in Ocean City
C
There’s a couple of guys who were far from pretty
Dm
But the drinks are strong and the jokes are witty
F E Am
Bulldog and The Dude
Am
They got a radio show from 6 to 10
C
They call it “The Rude Awakenin”
Dm
From New Jersey down to Maryland
F E Am
Bulldog and The Dude
[chorus]
Dm Am
Bulldog and The Dude
E Am
Bulldog and The Dude
[verse]
On St. Patty’s Day, The Dude was nude
The police thought this was mighty rude
He’s banned from 7-11 for good
Bulldog and The Dude
Well another time there was a feud
Between John Smith and The Dude
But poor John Smith’s hair was screwed
Bulldog and The Dude
When Ocean City decided pants were moot
Folks driving on their morning commute
Got a full on view of Dude’s loot
Bulldog and The Dude
Porn stars to lawyers, celebrities
They interview all personalities
Cuz if someone’s got something to say
They say it to Bulldog and The Dude
[chorus]
Bulldog and The Dude x4
Yeah!
To: Sarah And Mike From: Meredith and Adam Re: Sorry About Your Bikes
Song a Day #122
First Singing Note: E
[A section]
C Dm7
We’re sorry
C Dm7
We’re really sorry
C Dm7
We’re sorry, sorry, sorry
C A° Dm7 C
We’re sorry
[B section]
C F
Sarah and Mike
G F
got their bikes stolen
C G F C
from outside our apartment while we were all out
getting dinner
At the secret bim bim bap place
They don’t have a storefront
It’s hard to find but the food is really excellent
We feel extra bad because they’re training for a cross country bike trip this summer
And now they have to go buy fancy new bikes
They were super nice about it but we could tell that it really stressed them out
So we wanted to say we’re sorry
[A section]
We’re sorry, we’re sorry
We’re really sorry
We’re sorry, sorry, sorry
We are sorry
From Meredith and Adam
Yeah!
Happy Birthday, Shaista Vally
Song a Day #123
First Singing Note: D#
[chorus]
B F# E F#
Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
B E B
Oooooh
[verse]
Your sense of humor may be crass
But you make me smile and you make me laugh
People think you’re Indian or maybe Pakistani
But you’re from down in the OC
Via South Africa and I decree
That today’s a great day in history
Cuz 24 years ago you were born
[verse]
So Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Ooooooh
[verse]
You know about science like biology
You work in a bar but anyone can see
That pretty soon you’ll be the queen
Queen of the world
And you want to be an optometrist
But you’re also already an amazing artist
Making lots of little bacterial things and painting a lot
It’s all really awesome
[chorus]
So Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Ooooh
[verse]
???
You’re way into my heart
I am truly awed
And I hate it when we part
Your insults stir up my guts
And you won’t stop sucking my cuts
On the coldest day of the year
I wanted you near
I wanted you here
[chorus]
So Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Shaista Vally, it’s your birthday
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Happy birthday, Shaista Vally
Ooooh
We Are Pattern Machines
Song a Day #124
First Singing Note: G
[verse]
C G
When will the world end?
Am G
Will it be 2012?
C G
What about Y2K?
A G
What would’ve happened if we didn’t fix our computers?
F G
I want to know
Patterns in text
In time
In rhyme
Do we see them because they’re there?
Or is it just the way we’re made?
[pre-chorus]
F G
We’re pattern machines
F G
We are pattern machines
[chorus]
C G F C
I’m sick of seeing patterns everywhere
C G
Patterns make assumptions
F C
Make me stop and stare
Am G F C
I don’t want to be a slave to a brain that’s too aware
F Am G
Give me back my humanity
[verse]
DNA
Chemistry
Dow Jones
And math
Physics
Astrology
Religion and scientific method
Let’s leave it all behind
Do we see what we want?
Will we ever find any truth?
How can we know what’s really there? x2
[pre-chorus]
If we’re pattern machines
We are pattern machines
[chorus]
I’m sick of seeing patterns everywhere
Patterns make assumption
Make me stop and stare
I don’t want to be a slave to a brain that’s too aware
Give me back my humanity
Patterns
OneCaliforniaBank (You Deserve a Bank Like This)
Song a Day #125
First Singing Note: F
F C Bb C
You can keep your money in a box bank
Never knowing where your money’s going
Or you can keep your money safe with OneCal
Knowing that your money’s going towards
Bb
A wealth of opportunity
F C
A healthier community
Dm
Sustainable financial system
C Bb Am C
On the local level and beyond
F Bb C Bb
OneCaliforniaBank x7
A capella
F
One
C F
Ohhh, ohhh, you deserve a bank like this!)
Birthday Song for Mimi Hughes
Song a Day #127
First Singing Note: F
F Gm F
Mimi Hughes
F Gm F
You bake a great honey wheat bread
Dm C F Gm F
You swam the Danube in only 89 days
Dm C F Gm F
That’s two thousand eight hundred fifty kilometers
F Gm F
And you love to talk to strangers
Bb F
And your daughter Bree asked me to write you this song
Bb F
Cuz it’s your birthday so sing along
Bb F
And she points out that you’re very accident prone
C
So be careful
[verse 2]
F Bb
Mimi Hughes
C F
Your husband’s name is Tree
Bb C
You have a son you call him Forest
Bb C
I think that’s really cool
[chorus]
F Bb
Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
C F
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
[verse]
Mimi, Mimi Hughes
Don’t hike on that cut
In your leg or you’ll get all gangrene
And Kay and Kay they’ll be so really sad
And you won’t get to watch flapjack
[chorus]
Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
Oh Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
Oh Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
Oh Kelsey, just Tree, Forest, and Bree
Everybody sing, “Happy birthday, Mimi”
Bb F
Mimiiiiii
Don’t Give In To Madness
Song a Day #128
First Singing Note: G
G Am Em
Santa Barbara’s on fire
D Em D
Pretty soon the whole world will be
Em D
The planet’s getting hotter
C D
And we’re running out of water
C D7
And there’s no oxygen left in the sea
G D Em
But don’t give into madness
Bm D
When the resources are low
G C
Spread it all around like a lost and found
Bm D
Made of quid pro quo
I’m not a communist!
Though my granddaddy was
No, I just think that if we’re all in sync
We can make it through because
Em Bm
Well, you and me we’re not so different, different
You and me, we have a lot in common, common
Am Bm
Oh, We both want the same thing
Oh, To be loved and cared for
D7
Oh, To live and make it happen
UKE SOLO:
G Am Em
D7 C D7 x2
[verse]
So when those fires happen
And the earthquakes, tidal waves and hurricanes
Stricken by a flu pandemic
Dirty bomb or market panic
Please don’t go insane
[chorus]
No, don’t give into madness
When the resources are low
Spread it all around like a lost and found
Made of quid pro quo
I’m not a communist!
Though my granddaddy was
No, I just think that if we’re all in sync
We can make it through because
We’re all the same
We’re all the same
G D Em Bm C
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
D G
whoa whoa
The Pitch
Song a Day #130
First Singing Note: F
[verse]
F
My name is Jonathan
Dm
I write a song a day
F
It’s what I’m known for
C
But I would do it anyway
Bb Am
I write them cuz I can’t help myself
Gm7
I don’t have a choice
C
I can’t do anything else, oh
[verse]
If you listen to them every single day
You know you’ll never know how or what I’m gonna say
Sometimes they’re silly like “Dancing Penguins”
Sometimes political like “Hey, Paul Krugman”
[verse]
Where the hell are you man?
Speaking of that song
A lot of people liked it
I sang it on Maddow
I take requests from people on my website
They give me song ideas
I write, write, write, write, oh
F Dm F C
Bb Am Gm7 C
[B-section]
F Bb C F
I got to thinking I get all these song requests
From folks in every state with feelings that they want to express
F Am
I could go there, town by town
Gm7 C7
To tell the people stories in song
F Dm
What about something like a weekly show
F Am C
Where I turn peoples’ thoughts into song wherever I go
[C-section]
Bb
People are struggling
C Bb
I could sing their songs
C Bb
I could start out in Berkeley where I live
C Bb
And I could make my way home
[D-Section]
F C Bb
to Vermont
C F
That’s where I’m from
I’d like to go back there
That’s my motivation
For reference, I wrote this song in ten minutes
It’s my second song today
And that’s the truth
Roll My Kroalnos Home
Song a Day #131
First Singing Note: A
Am
The world is just a grand illusion
D
To prepare us for the fusion of
Am
Existence made of darkest matter
Silver keys on golden platters
F#m7
Children laughing, teeth that chatter on
C C7
Sky is on fire
F Fm
And I’m set to expire
C G F
So roll your Kroalnos home
G
Your Kroalnos
C G F
Roll my Kroalnos home
G
My Kroalnos
[verse]
Doctors sit on platforms waiting
While conductors are debating words
Are they worthless? Are they useful?
Concepts lose what makes them truthful
One man shouted with a toothful heart
[chorus]
Bugs coming out of his pipe
And I’m so very right
So roll my Kroalnos home
My Kroalnos
Roll my Kroalnos home
My Kroalnos
Am
Dm
G
E
[verse]
Deconstructing holy buildings
Holding candles but I’m willing to
Break with ???
Thoughts were gotten or devoured
By the lonely guard of tower one
[chorus]
Sky is on fire
Come and join the wire
And roll my Kroalnos home
My Kroalnos
Roll my Kroalnos home
My Kroalnos home
Flying to Vienna Part I
Song a Day #132
First Singing Note: C
Am E
Am G Dm E
Am F
Dm E
I’m flying on a jet plane over the Atlantic to Vienna
Trying to explain how not to panic when you hear the call
Airport
They’re sure
They have to time a lot of planes
Taking off on time into the air
I barely spot it
Something on the wing as if in Twilight Zone I am existing
Was it my imagination?
Could it be sinister?
Drink cart
Blink dark
My eyes come into focus
And there’s nothing there
Flying to Vienna Part II
Song a Day #133
First Singing Note: C
Am E
Am G Dm E
Am F
Dm E
Drink cart
Blink dark
My eyes come into focus
And there’s nothing there
Hobo on the subway
Cussing out in German
Rain on the cobblestone
The wheel on my bag’s broken
New Zealand man on the plane
I watched Happy Feet
The Reader made me cry
A lot
I barely got any sleep
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Game Deals
Song a Day #134
First Singing Note: E
C
The boss is gone
F C
He left us in charge
(Oh no!)
G
We don’t care
C
We just want to screw around
(Oh yeah!)
Clueless moms
And smart ass kids
And so we remain
The coolest game in town
C
Game Deals
C F
Game Deals
C G C
Game De-als
Springtime in Vienna
Song a Day #135
First Singing Note: F
[verse]
Db Ab
Springtime in Vienna
Bbm Ab7
Children scream in German
The sun is shining down
German birds are chirping
And I wonder
Could I be anywhere?
[chorus]
Db Db7
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
Gb C°7
And I’m sitting out in the backyard
I’m sitting out in the backyard
Just sitting out in the backyard
[verse]
Owoooooo,
owooooo
Airplanes overhead
Flowers all a’blooming
It’s cold in the morning and warm in the afternoon
And I wonder
Could I be anywhere?
[chorus x2]
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
And I’m sitting out in the backyard
I’m sitting out in the backyard
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
I was just sitting out in the backyard
Just sitting out in the backyard
I was just sitting out in the backyard
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
Now in the backyard sitting out in the backyard
[verse]
And I wonder
Could I be anywhere?
Could this be Ohio?
Could this be Oslo?
Could this be Los Angeles?
Could this be Venice?
And I wonder
What makes them different
[chorus]
When you’re just sitting out in the backyard
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
I’m just sitting out in the backyard
You’re just sitting out in the backyard
[verse]
Springtime in Vienna
Children scream in German
Sun is shining down
And the German birds are chirping
Why Do Potatoes Fight?
Song a Day #135
First Singing Note: F
[verse]
F C
The first potato said, “I wanna be mashed.”
F Gm
The second potato said, “No, roasting is the way.”
F C
The third potato said, “I wanna be French fries!”
Am Gm
The fourth potato said, “Potato pancakes, okay.”
[pre-chorus]
F Dm
Tell me why can’t potatoes get along?
Bb C
Why must we always sing the arguing potato song?
[chorus x3]
F
Yes, yes
Gm
No, no
Dm C
Arguing potatoes
Yes, yes
No, no
Arguing potatoes
Yes, yes
No, no
Arguing potatoes
Yes, yes
No, no
Arguing potatoes
Yeah
Old Man Sleeping By The Side of the Road
Song a Day #137
First Singing Note: Gb
Gb Db7 Ebm Db
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
Ten thousand years go by
Children stare and cry
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
Once you start you can never stop x2
You feel like a jerk as you plan your master work
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
The sound of horses on cobblestone
The sound of horses on cobblestone
I swear it wasn’t me
Cuz the horses numbered three
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
Old man waking up and calling your name
Old man waking up and calling your name
He calls but all the same
You heard but never came
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
Old man sleeping by the side of the road
There’s a Hole In His Hat
Song a Day #138
First Singing Note: E
E A E
He’s got a hole in his hat x6
B
Hole in his hat
How you like that?
E
Hole in his hat
How you like that?
Hole in his hat
How you like that?
Hole in his hat
How you like that?
Hole in his hat
How you like that?
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Hole in his hat
Hallelujah!
Alright, whoa!
Whooooo!
Who Will Remain?
Song a Day #139
First Singing Note: F
Intro:
F C Dm Gm C7 F
[chorus]
F Dm F Dm
Who will remain when the going gets gone?
Gm C7
Who will remain?
Gm C7
Who can save your songs?
F Dm F Dm
Tell me who will remain that still knows how to dance?
Gm C7 Gm C7
Who will remain but the ones ???
[verse]
F Dm
I was just a little boy
Gm C7
When I left King Hill Road
Dm Bb C7
And I offered to go back there some day
It brings more than just a little joy
To remember those frogs and toads
In my memory their croaking is translated to say
[chorus]
Who will remain when the going gets gone?
Tell me who will remain?
Who can save your songs?
Oh who will remain who still knows how to dance?
Who will remain but the ones ???
[verse]
One thousand screaming architects
The whole city is on fire
Won’t someone come take away their guns?
There’s no loyalty that love protects when the riot is your choir
No religion that doesn’t melt the need for sun
[chorus]
Who will remain when the going gets gone?
Tell me who will remain?
Who can save your songs?
Oh who will remain that still knows how to dance?
Who will remain but the ones ???
Who will remain?
F Dm Bb
At the Botanical Garden of the University of Vienna
Song a Day #140
First Singing Note: C
Ab
Sitting by the lily pads
Fm
Sitting by a pond
Ab
Wondering what life means
Db
Wondering what life means
Standing near some flowers
Dancing near the wall
People running by me
I hope they do not fall
Standing ‘neath the big tree
It’s a sequoia
I really like it
It brings me lots of joy-a
Sitting in the circle
Smaller circles inside
Little kids are running around
The strange trip, a strange ride
Lily pad with dropflies
Pigeons running nearby
Tiny scuff on dropflies
You can barely see with naked eye
Lots of pretty orange flowers
Bumblebees flying around
I hope I don’t get stung by him
I think I’m go smell one now
Ouch!
Just kidding
Sitting by some cacti
But it’s not the desert
If I were to touch them
I would surely get hurt
Ouch,
ouch,
ouch,
ouch
Frodo Uses the Hobbit ATM
Song a Day #141
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
Dm A
When Frodo’s leaving Middle Earth
Dm Bb Gm
and traveling abroad
Dm
He has trouble finding an ATM
A Dm
That’s low enough for a Hobbit
But when Frodo comes to the end of town
Where the schnitzel flows like brandy wine
He has no trouble finding an ATM
He just goes to the Hobbit ATM
[chorus]
F C
Oh the Hobbit ATM
Perfect size for Hobbits
Maybe it was built for them
Dm A Dm
Nobody knows (nobody knows, nobody knows)
[verse]
Now if Frodo didn’t call his credit card company
to tell them he was going to be traveling
They may put a hold on his card
Which can threaten to set his travel plans unraveling
So Frodo has to go and call Sauron
The big evil overlord of credit cards
And explain the situation to him
And then everything will be fine
[chorus]
He can go to the Hobbit ATM
Oh it’s the perfect size for Hobbits
Maybe it was built for them
Nobody knows
Sing it with me now
The Hobbit ATM
Not for orcs, dwarves, elves, or ???
Maybe it was built for them (built for them)
Nobody knows (nobody knows, nobody knows)
A Sleepy German Train Ride
Song a Day #142
First Singing Note: Db
Gb Ab
Just a sleepy ol’ train ride
Gb Ab
Through Germany’s countryside
Db Ab Gb Ab
The river rolls on
and on and on and on
Towns on the opposite shore
Db Ab Gb
River rolls on some more
Ab Bbm Am Bbm
Rolls on some more
Gb Ab
Cuz it’s just a sleepy ol’ train ride
Gb Ab
Wandering through Germany’s countryside
Chaos Computer Club Anthem
Song a Day #145
First Singing Note: Ab
Ab Gm Fm Gm
Drinking mate late into the night
We encode a dream of unicorns
23 is just a random number
We celebrate the day of yore
CCC we hang around and do important things
With ??? and fairy dust
All our servers respond to pain
CCC we hang around and do important things
With ??? and fairy dust
All our servers respond to pain
Respond to pain
Meditation on Friends in the Key of G
Song a Day #146
First Singing Note:
Intro: C#
[A-section]
C#7 F#
New friends make me think of old friends
C#7 D#m C#
Make me think of all friends that I ever had
Saying bye to new friends before seeing old friends
Make me think of all the friends
all the friends that I ever had
D#m C#
That I ever had
[B-section]
G#m
If you have no friends
A#°
I feel bad for you
B
And I have been there
C#m
Oh, I have been there
If you have no friends
I feel bad for you
We have all been there
At one point
G#
At one point
[A-section]
New friends make me think of old friends
Make me think of all the friends that I ever had
Saying bye to new friends before seeing old friends
Make me think of all the friends
all the friends that I ever had
That I’ve ever had
[B-section]
If you have no friends
I feel bad for you
But I have been there
Oh, I have been there
If you have no friends
I feel bad for you
We have all been there
At one point
At one point
New friends leaving
Old friends coming
Makes me think of all the friends
all the friends that I ever had
That I ever had
That I ever had
Ooooooh
If you have no friends
I feel bad for you
We have all been there
I think at one point most of us have been there
[coda]
C# D#m/F#
New friends, new friends, ohhhh x8
Flaming Orb
Song a Day #147
First Singing Note: Bb
[verse]
Bbm F Bbm
From the German countryside to LA’s octopus arms
Bbm F Bbm
We avoid the ones that could decide they want to do us harm
F
I surrender what’s left of my pride
Bbm F
The stubbornness remains
Bbm
That no magic could ever hide
F Bbm
No floating orb in flame
[verse]
Tower built on thoughts alone will fall like ADD
Like sugar twisted into bone
Or a wasps’ colony
When space is formed into a cone
And time is on ellipse
Just pick up your banana phone and give the sky a kiss
[verse]
And if there’s nothing you need to add, I’ll close the argument
Proposition 8 is bad, but it’s not like cement
The tide is on our side
The best chance we’ve ever had
Is upon us now
It’s up to us now to see it through the end
F Bbm
See it through to the end
See it through to the end
Vodka the Cat
Song a Day #148
First Singing Note: C
Intro (synth strings):
C G B° F x4
[chorus]
She was a vampire kitty
She did a lot of drugs
Her eyes were pretty
She gave a lot of hugs
Calico fur and a toothy grin
I’ll remember her
How her head would swim
[verse]
C B°
Vodka, Voddy
C F G
The redhead will miss you more than anybody
Vodka, Voddy
The redhead will miss you more than anybody
[chorus]
She was a vampire kitty
She did a lot of drugs
Her eyes were pretty
She gave a lot of hugs
Calico fur and a toothy grin
I’ll remember her
How her head would swim
Terror At Arkham (Arkham Horror-A True Story0
Song a Day #150
First Singing Note: G#
Uke Intro:
(Sust. D#)
G#m F# E F# x2
[verse]
G#m F#
Went into a portal
E F#
I wound up in LA
I gotta fight a monster
Gonna take all day
[chorus]
G#m F# E F#
Terror at Arkham x2
[verse]
Dodge the flying Gollum
Face the fiendish ghouls
Give the dice a wallop
And then consult the rules
[chorus]
Terror at Arkham x2
[Monsters]
G# E F#
Monsters in the streets, running, running x4
[chorus]
Terror at Arkham x2
[verse]
Monsters in the ozone
Monsters in the outskirts
??? fire
Combat ???
[chorus]
Terror at Arkham x2
[verse]
Professor Harvey Walters
Psychologist keeps us sane
???
Will get another reign
[chorus]
Terror at Arkham x2
[verse 2]
Shatter in the streets, running, running x2
Cthonian, Cthonian, running, running x2
[chorus
Terror at Arkham x2
[verse]
Ask if we could ???
And then we lost the darkness
Two more people lost the search
And now we’re all in shock
[chorus]
Terror in Arkham x2
[coda]
G#
I wanted to be deputy
A#m
But Cthulu love to track
C#
The omen has awakened
F#
Now there ain’t no turning back
Straight up out of stamina
??? running low
It’s running low!
We’ve been cursed
We’ve got our sixes six times in a row
[chorus]
Terror at Arkham x3
[verse]
??? consolidation of resources
Sacrificing spells
Two players left
One more roll
We send the beast back to hell
Scared to die but I yell
Terror at Arkham x8
A Letter to the Killer of George Tiller
Song a Day #152
First Singing Note: F
Intro (guitar):
Db Ab Bbm Gbm
Db Ab
Who made you the judge?
Bbm Gbm
Who made you the jury?
Who made you the executioner?
Don’t say God
God with his wrath and fury
Because he told a lot of people to do some awful things
You shot him on the steps of his church
You left his wife and family alone
A million other paths that you could have chosen
But you’re too busy casting stones
Did Jesus say, “An eye for an eye”?
No he didn’t
Jesus said to turn your other cheek
Please don’t ask God
Cuz God is not the answer
There are no answers save the ones we find ourselves
The members of his congregation must have heard the shots
As you sped away in your blue Ford
What led you there to do it on that day?
How could anyone ever be so sure?
And don’t tell me that you believe in life
Not when you carry around a gun
The world is full of complicated answers
And you reach for the simplest one
And you reach for the simplest one
The world is full of complicated answers
And you reach for the simplest one
Bandcamp.com
Song a Day #153
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
F C F C F C
Bandcamp represents one giant leap in the right direction
Bb
Tools for musicians
Am C
and the fans that love them
F C F C
Design that’s so clean I’d eat my dinner right off it
Bb Am D
Options all ??? so as to help maximize profit
[chorus]
Em D
That’s Bandcamp
Em Dm
Band, band, camp, oh
Em D
Bandcamp
C G C G
I said, Bandcamp, Bandcamp
C G C G
Bandcamp, Bandcamp
[verse]
So many other websites try to be everything all at once
And then they fail to deliver
It all comes out a great big mess
But if you build a shiny tower full of music and melodic joy
Everybody will come running
Like Paris to Helen of Troy
[chorus]
That’s Bandcamp
Band, band, camp, oh
Bandcamp
I said, Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Bandcamp, Bandcamp
[bridge]
Dm
Their FAQ is hilarious
C
The stats page is pure splendor
Dm
You can view them in the normal way
Am
Or view them in Defender
[verse]
Lord knows I write a lot of songs
And I need some distribution
But every other site that I’ve ever tried
Has failed in its execution
Now there’s a place where you can go to hear all, all, all of it
Thanks to Bandcamp you can download for free
Or use your wall-all-allet
[chorus x2]
That’s Bandcamp
Band, band, camp, oh
Bandcamp
I said, Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Bandcamp
Band, Bandcamp, oh
Bandcamp
I said, Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Bandcamp, Bandcamp
Half Drunk Mugs of Tea
Song a Day #154
First Singing Note: E
[verse x4]
A
I’m driving around LA
F#m
Looking to exchange some currency
E
My life seems to be filled these days
E7 D
With half drunk mugs of tea
If I was a soldier or a prophet
Maybe there’d be more of a spring in my strut
That I can’t finish one lousy mug
Says something about me but I’m not sure what
No matter how late I get to bed
I am awake by 8 AM
I spend the day so tired
I can barely even remember who it is I am
But that is misleading
Like an overcast morning in LA
I don’t know who I am
E7 D A
Most of the time anyway
[chorus]
D
When I was 16
A
I cut off all my hair
D
When I was 17
A
I went to Jerusalem
D
Was that 10 years ago?
A
Well now I guess it was
E
I guess it was
[verse x2]
I spend more time in a car here in a week
Than I do in a month back in the Bay
I hope Obama’s serious about light rails
And they get started right away
And all the factories that are closing
Could get converted into new technology
But I’m about as hopeful about that
As I am that I’ll finish one lousy mug of tea
[chorus]
When I was 16
I cut off all my hair
When I was 17
I went to Jerusalem
Was that 10 years ago?
Well now I guess it was
I guess it was
A
I guess it was
Saved By the Bell Again
Song a Day #155
First Singing Note: G
[verse]
C F
Kelly Kapowski was an early crush
A G
I learned a lot from Zach
AC Slater showed me how to be tough
And Screech always made me laugh
[bridge]
F C
It’s been a while since I’ve seen the gang
Dm C
And I don’t know that I’d still feel the same
F
We were young then
C
We were out of control
G
But boy I’d love to hear that bell toll
[chorus]
C F
I wanna be Saved by the Bell again
A G
Like it was 1991
Saved by the Bell again on
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
[verse]
When Jessie got addicted to caffeine pills
I could relate to that
And I miss Mr. Belding
He always meant well
And I miss Lisa’s hats
[bridge]
I guess we’ve all moved on now
We’ve got different lives
New projects and sex tapes and babies and wives
But I want a reunion so I’m singing this song
If you want one too just sing along!
[chorus]
If you want to be Saved by the Bell again
Like it was 1991
Saved by the Bell again on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Saved by the Bell again
Like it was 1991
Saved by the Bell again on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Oh, Saved by the Bell
Don’t Throw Your Shoes At Me
Song a Day #156
First Singing Note: Bb
Intro (piano):
Gb Ab Cb Gb x2
Gb Abm
Boyfriend, I love you
Cb Gb
Don’t throw my shoe at me
When you do all these things you do
You make me so angry
I love you with all of my heart
But when you do these things you make it hard
I say hard to love you
Hard to live
Hard to make it work
Don’t throw my shoe at me
Don’t throw my shoe at me
Don’t throw my shoe at me x2
Boyfriend, I love you
But please don’t throw my shoe at me
But then you do all these things you do
Why can’t you see?
You throw your heart
You throw your soul
You throw our love on the floor
We make it work every single day
So don’t do that anymore
Don’t throw my shoe at me x6
Baby, don’t throw it x2
Don’t throw your shoe at me
Baby, don’t throw it x2
Don’t throw your shoe at me
Don’t throw your shoe x3
Don’t throw my shoe at me
Don’t throw my shoe at me x6
This Here Is a Subscribe Drive
Song a Day #157
First Singing Note: C
Intro (ad lib over announcement):
G F
[A-section]
F
This is a subscribe drive,
G
This is a subscribe drive x2
[verse]
C G
If you watch my videos every single day
F G
And you enjoy them
Please help me to spread the word
About what I’m doing
A G
Find one other person
F
Just one other person
F G
And show them your favorite song
[chorus]
C G F
And get them to subscribe
In whatever way they want
Youtube, Facebook, Twitter
F C
Email, or Tumblr
[verse]
I appreciate all of you
Who watch me do my thing
And I love it when I hear from you
Through comments and rating
Find one person
Just one other person
And tell them why you watch
[chorus]
Maybe you come for the songs
Or maybe it’s the crazy antics
Maybe you don’t even know why you watch
That’s okay
F G C
Just get them to watch too
[A-section]
Cuz this is a subscribe drive
This is a subscribe drive x8
Drive, drive, drive
Helen Mae (Whiskey the Cat and Other Songs)
Song a Day #158
First Singing Note: A
D
Helen Mae, Helen Mae
That’s her name
Helen Mae
G A D
We’re here cuz your cat needs surgery
D
Helen Mae, Helen Mae
G D
Helen Mae, Helen Mae
A D
Helen Mae, Helen Mae, Helen Mae X5
D
Ivory’s gonna go get her
D
Ivory King, Ivory King
G D
Ivory King, Ivory King
D A D
Ivory King, Ivory King, Ivory King
[verse]
D
Frisky cat, naw fuck that
A
You’re whiskey cat
B
In fact you’re a big bad ass
D
You’re a huge mother fucking bad ass
And as a matter of fact
I think that we all oughta tip our hats
To the catty, kitty cat known as the whiskey cat
Known as the whiskey cat
[chorus]
G D
Whiskey, you love me
A D
And you know that I love you too
Whiskey, please let this song be
The song that gets you through
Whiskey, her name, the cat’s name is whiskey
It’s a boy!
His name is Whiskey, his femur has dislocated from his hip
He’s got some mighty large balls
Huge, huge, huge balls
And that makes Whiskey a real badass motherfucking cat
Oh yeah
Living Your Life
Song a Day #159
First Singing Note: D
[chorus]
D C G
Living your life today
A D
Living your life today
Living your life today
Living your life today
D B
Living your life today
A D
Nobody can stop you
Living your life today
Why would anybody want to?
[verse]
F#m Bm
There are a million different ways that you can make it through
A G
Cornucopia of ways that make you feel okay
If there’s something about today that make you feel like rain
The sun is out your shadow’ll ask if you want to play
[chorus]
Living your life today x4
Living your life today
In the shadow of a sunset
Living your life today
I know the future isn’t here yet
[verse]
There are a million different ways that you can make it through
Cornucopia of ways that make you feel okay
Something about today that make you feel like rain
The sun is out your shadow’ll ask if you want to play
[coda]
Em
If you wanna play
A7
Wanna play
D A7 D
Oh play
You wanna play? X2
D
You wanna play
Beautiful Way to Live
Song a Day #160
First Singing Note: C#
Intro (guitar):
E A
[verse]
A
I know I’m a little bit broken
A7
Just a little bit hard to tame
D
But even will all of my ups and downs
A
You keep loving me just the same
[chorus]
E
I watch you smile
I see you forgive
F#
And I know that’s a beautiful way to live
D E A
That’s a beautiful way to live
[verse]
You know I’ll never be perfect
I’ll never win every prize
But when life isn’t fair
It’s still right there
Where? In this kindness in your eyes
[chorus]
I watch you smile
I see you forgive
And I know that’s a beautiful way to live
That’s a beautiful way to live
[verse]
Struggle’s been my middle name
I got troubles that’ll never cease
But I wanna know
I just wanna know
Where you go to find your peace
[chorus x2]
I watch you smile
I see you forgive
And I know that’s a beautiful way to live
Teach me how, teach me how to forgive
I know that’s a beautiful way to live
That’s a beautiful way to live
Teach me how, teach me how to forgive
I know that’s a beautiful way to live
It’s a beautiful way
It’s a beautiful way
Oh it’s a beautiful way to live
(I Wanna Go) Where the Wild Things Are
Song a Day #161
First Singing Note: D
[chorus]
G Bm C D
I wanna go where the wild things are
I wanna sail far, far away
I wanna go where the wild things are and play
Play, play, play, play
[verse]
G Am
I’m king of the monsters
G Am D
I stare into their yellow eyes
G Em D
It’s my magic trick
G Am
I’m the wildest thing of all
C
I say, “Jump!”
G
They say, “How high?”
G Am D
I wave my magic stick
[pre-chorus]
Em
And let the wild rumpus start
G
Dance with feeling, Dance with heart
E
Do what I say
C D
Or else you won’t get any dinner tonight
[chorus]
I wanna go where the wild things are
I wanna sail far, far away
I wanna go where the wild things are and play
Play, play, play, play
[verse]
I’m king of the monsters
I love them and they love me back
But a monster’s love just ain’t the same
No
They’re such loyal subjects
But I’m not sure that I belong
Maybe I should go back to from where I came
[pre-chorus]
The monsters cried, “Please don’t go!”
“We’ll eat you up and we love you so!”
But I sailed away
And as I sailed, said, “No!”
And found my way back home
[verse]
I’ve been to where the wild things are
I have sailed far, far away
I have been to where the wild things are
And I have played, played, played, played
I’ve played, played, played
I’ve played
Freakonomics
Song a Day #162
First Singing Note: F
[intro]
F Bb C
F Bb C
[chorus]
Dm F
Bb F
Dm F
Bb C
[verse]
F Bb
Which is more dangerous:
Dm C
A gun or a swimming pool?
F Bb Dm C
How often do teachers cheat at school?
[chorus]
That’s not economics
That’s freakonomics
That’s not economics
It’s freako-freako-freakonomics
[verse]
Why do drug dealers all live with their moms?
How is the rate of violent crimes
Affected by the legalization of abortion?
[chorus]
That’s not economics
That’s freakonomics
That’s not economics
It’s freako-freako-freakonomics
Freako-freako-freakonomics x12
What? (What? What?...)
You’re All Right, Isaac Newton
Song a Day #163
First Singing Note: A
[chorus]
F G
Isaac Newton was a total badass
C Am
He invented calculus
F G
Principia Mathematica
C Am
He got totally erratic-a
F G
He wrote Opticks: a theory of light
C Am G F
Isaac Newton, man you’re all right with me
G C
I said you’re all right with me
[verse]
C G
Isaac Newton lived for 84 years
Bb F
That a really long time for way back then
Am G
Maybe he was an alien
C G
He never slept and he never ate
Bb F
He never took boys or girls on dates
Am G
He did logarithmic functions for fun
[chorus]
Cuz Isaac Newton was a total badass
He invented calculus
Principia Mathematica
He got totally erratic-a
He wrote Opticks: a theory of light
Isaac Newton, man you’re all right with me
I said you’re all right with me
[verse]
He was into alchemy
He was into the occult
Maybe he was an alien
But he didn’t know it
But he didn’t know it
Isaac Newton thought the world would end
in the year 2016
Just to show he didn’t know anything
Everyone knows that 2012 is the year
Isaac Newton was friends with John Locke
Not the guy from Lost
But the famous philosopher
Isaac asserted that Christ wasn’t God
He drank a lot of mercury
He was knighted by the queen
He even had an arch nemesis
His name was Robert Hook
They were enemies until the day he died
[chorus]
Cuz Isaac Newton was a total badass
He invented calculus
Principia Mathematica
He got totally erratic-a
He wrote Opticks: a theory of light
Isaac Newton, man you’re all right with me
I said you’re all right with me
I said you’re all right with me, Isaac Newton
Oh, I said you’re all right with me
Joy and Freedom
Song a Day #164
First Singing Note:
F C7
F Bb F C7 x2
[verse]
F
You can walk around deaf with your head in the sand
Like an ostrich posing
C7
For the grand foreclosing
F
Or come to me and ask for a hand
And I’ll provide it
C7
No one’s outside it
F
And you won’t find a soul more qualified
A heart more undenied
C7
Than one that beats in me
[chorus]
F
And standing there
Bb
in just your underwear
F
You look like heaven to me
Bb C7
You look like joy and freedom
F Bb C7 F
[verse]
You whisper softly to the wind
Our hopes and wishes
All the birds and glitches
But if you’re looking for a real friend
Just look, you found him
And then you surround him
[chorus]
And you won’t find a soul more qualified
A heart more undenied
Than one that beats in me
And standing there in just your underwear
You look like heaven to me
You look like joy and freedom
F Bb C7 F
[chorus]
You won’t find a soul more qualified
A heart more undenied
Than one that beats in me
And standing there in just your underwear
You look like heaven to me
You look like joy and freedom
Dinner Party Cooking Time
Song a Day #165
First Singing Note: F#
[A section]
D
We’ve been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
We’ve been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
[B section]
Bm
Monstrous risotto
A
Asparagus soup
Bm
Brussely Brussels spouts
G A
And ??? too
Monstrous risotto
Asparagus soup
Brussel spouts
And ??? too
[bridge]
A7
And a Pikachu cake
And a Pikachu cake
[A section]
We’ve been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
We’ve been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
Been cooking all day
I Will Follow You
Song a Day #166
First Singing Note: E
C G F G x2
[A-section]
C G F G
Hey, I will follow you, follow you x4
C G Am
I will follow you now
[B-section]
Am G F G7 x2
[A-section]
Hey, I will follow you, follow you x4
(Do what you gotta do)
I will follow you now
(Do what you gotta do)
Happy Graduation, Matthias Jamison-Koenig
Song a Day #167
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
F
Matthias Koenig, use your power tools
Bb Gm C F
To find the Higgs boson and prove that physics’ rules are true
F Bb
Edie and Peter and Ted and Will and the rest of your family
Gm C
Know that no matter what you do you’ll always try your best and so
[chorus]
F
Happy graduation
Happy graduation
Bb
Happy graduation
Gm C
Happy graduation
[verse]
Matthias Koenig, use your fencing foil
To forget those stupid grad school
Make music and destroy all evil
It’s clear that you can do whatever you want to do
The world is your playground and is wide open to you, so
[chorus]
Happy graduation x4
Now it’s time for a metal breakdown!
F/Fm F° E° D°
Happy graduation x4
Yeah!
Upon Iran’s Stolen Election
Song a Day #168
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
F C F
It’s the same old story
Bb F
An election has been stolen
Gm C
You’ve been cheated and you’re angry
Bb F
What are you gonna do?
Well don’t do it like we did it
We laid down and let them take it
We let them crush our will and break it
And we got eight years of the worst
[bridge]
Bb
Don’t let up even for a second
F
Or before you know it they’ll win
You have the chance we never had
To take your country back again
[chorus]
Bb
So keep fighting
F
Keep singing
Bb
Keep marching
F C
Keep fighting
[verse]
We woke up one morning
and our fate had been decided
Not by some democratic process
But by bullies, wimps, and sissies
But you, you’ve got this passion
And while your situation I don’t envy
You risk your lives so the truth can be
revealed once and for all
[bridge]
Don’t let up even for a second
Or before you know it they’ll win
You have the chance we never had
To take your country back again
[chorus]
So keep fighting
Keep singing
Keep marching
And keep fighting
I Quit!
Song a Day #169
First Singing Note: G
[chorus]
C
I quit!
Bb F
Yes, you heard me
C
I quit!
C Bb F
I quit ‘cause you don’t respect me
C Bb F
And your apathy towards me affects me
[verse A]
Dm
In a negative way
A
You always ruin my day
Dm
And I deserve better pay
G
So I’m quite happy to say
[chorus]
That I quit!
Yeah, so long
I quit!
[verse B]
Bb F
You never made my duties clear
You run this office on anger and fear
And you’re so phony and insincere
F C
So I’m finding a new career
Bb F
Far away from here!
[chorus]
I quit!
So long, see you later!
I quit!
Sayonara
[Verse C]
F
This is the part of the song
C
where most folks would say, “Fuck you!”
Dm
But I don’t like to swear,
C
so I’ll just say, “Too doo loo!”
This is the part of the song where most folks would say, “Fuck you!”
But I don’t like to swear, so I’ll just say, “Fuck you!”
This is the part of the song where most folks would say, “Fuck you!”
But I don’t like to swear, so I’ll just say, “Too doo loo!”
This is the part of the song where most folks would say, “Fuck you!”
But, ah what the hell, so I’ll just say, “Fuck you!”
[chorus chords only]
I quit!
Vegetables
Song a Day #170
First Singing Note: E
C G C
Vegetables
C F
Vegetables, oh vegetables
G C
Vegetables, oh vegetables x2
C F G F
Kale, broccoli, spinach, turnips, brussel sprouts and bok choy
C F G F
Lettuce, beets, asparagus, garlic and leeks, I’m a happy boy
Carrots and radish
Potatoes and yam
Tomatoes, squash, avocado, yum!
Celery, pumpkin, daikon, zucchini, artichoke and chrysanthemum
Vegetables are good for you
And your fear is so misplaced
You’ve been brainwashed into thinking
That you won’t like the taste
Vegetables, oh vegetables x3
Oh vegetables, oh vegetables
Some people think that vegetables are gross
But those people don’t know
Vegetables are the best
Vegetables are the most
wonderful thing in the world and so
You should eat more vegetables
And your fear is so misplaced
You’ve been brainwashed into thinking
That you won’t like the taste
Vegetables x8
Yeah!
The Day That Kangaroos Didn’t Hop
Song a Day #171
First Singing Note: D
G C G
On the day kangaroos didn’t hop
G C G
All the cheese in the whole world melted
Am
Every cloud looked like a dragon
Em
Every heart was sad and sagging
Am7 D
And the rain didn’t know how to stop
On the day kangaroos didn’t hop
There was no more mysteries to be solved
Each honeybee took a mistress called rosehips and hibiscus
And the farmers’ tears couldn’t save their crops
On the day kangaroos didn’t hop
The government outlawed dancing
On a lonely dusty hill
There was Jack and there was Jill
And they came close but never reached the top
On the day kangaroos didn’t hop
I threw all my clothes out the window
I joined the county fair
Started growing out my hair
Til it looked just like Cinderella’s mop
On the day
kangaroos
didn’t hop
It Isn’t What You Think It Is
Song a Day #172
First Singing Note: C
Intro:
C F G C
Am F G C
[verse]
C F G
Words fall down and I catch them falling
C F G C
Teach me to fish and I’ll never come calling again
(Instrumental)
Life is gone but laws remain
And I will pray that you ride a stain away
(Instrumental)
[chorus]
C Am
It’s not what you think it is
F G
It isn’t what you think it is x2
[verse]
Hold it up in better lighting
And you’ll see there’s no truth fighting for
(Instrumental)
[chorus]
Cuz this isn’t what you think it is
This isn’t what you think it is x2
Song a Day #173
We Don’t Change
First Singing Note: F
F Bb
F Bb C F
[verse]
F Bb
I was turning forty yesterday and I was turning twenty
F
I was turning ten
Bb C
and then I thought of how I think it's funny

[chorus]
Bb
we don't change
Bb
and i don't change
Bb F C
and we don't change at all

the pictures painted
and it looks the same
and that's not strange at all

[verse]
i was turning towards the fire
on a cloudy day december
I was turning round the thought
that you may not be gone
[chorus]
we don't change
and i don't change
and we don't change at all

the pictures painted
and it looks the same
and that's not strange at all
F Bb
F Bb C F

[verse]
I was turning cars around
and following the sun to sunday
when the colors of the windy
morning took me of another way
[chorus]
we don't change
and i don't change
and we don't change at all

the pictures painted
and it looks the same
and that's not strange at all
Words Stuck
Song A Day #180
First singing note: D
[intro]
Bb
Eb
x2
[verse]
Bb
wandering down a road
Eb
I’ve been down it before
Bb Eb
wonder which way i'll go
Bb
that signpost is familiar
Eb
i know these trees and smells
Bb Eb
and words stuck in my throat

[chorus]
Cm
don't misunderstand me
F
some things don’t have a name
Bb Eb
it's a thought or a feeling

[verse]
Bb
going nowhere
Eb
got no companion
Bb Eb
but i am not alone
Bb
i smell lilacs
Eb
I hear the wind call
Bb Eb
words stuck in my throat

[chorus]
Cm
don't misunderstand me
F
some things don’t have a name
Bb Eb
it's a thought or a feeling
Gm F
it's the world breathing
Gm F
it's the burden of living leaving

[verse]
Bb
i had a raincoat
Eb
but now i've lost it
Bb Eb
now i have no coat
Bb
but if it rains
Eb
i have words protect me
Bb Eb
words stuck in my throat
[chorus]
Cm
don't misunderstand me
F
some things don’t have a name
Bb Eb
it's a thought or a feeling
Gm F
it's the world breathing
Bb
Eb
Bb
[verse]
Bb
wandering down a road
Eb
I’ve been down it before
Bb Eb
wonder which way i'll go

Which way am I going? (Down, Down, Down)
Song A Day #181
First singing note: Bb
[verse]
F# Bb
Down, down, down
Ebm B
That’s where I’m going to
F# C# B
I’m gonna call your name
F# Bb
Down, down, down
Ebm B
And you will follow me
F# C# B
Back to from where we came
F# C# F#
Back to from where we came
[pre-chorus]
B F#
It’s the only direction
Ebm Db
That I’d like to go
B F#
I don’t need your protection
Ebm Db
But I’d like your company and soul
[bridge]
B Ebm
All that I ask is that you bring a flask
Bb Ebm
And fill it with your golden tears
B
And when there are monsters
Ebm
You say them some kind words
Bb Ebm
That have no meaning anywhere but here
B Db
Because we’re on fire
Bb Ab/Bb Ebm
And nobody can put us out
B
Not the rain
Db
Not the showers
F# Bb
Unless we go down
[verse]
F# Bb
Down, down, down
Ebm B
That’s where I’m going to
F# C# B
I’m gonna call your name
F# Bb
Down, down, down
Ebm B
And you will follow me
F# C# B
Back to from where we came
F# C# F#
Back to from where we came
A bit of advice. (Take medium steps)
Song A Day #182
First Singing Note: Bb
[verse]
F# Bbm Ddim B
Big steps will only crush you
F# Bbm Ddim B
Small steps will never get you anywhere
F# Bbm Ddim B
Big steps means no one will touch you
F# Bbm Ddim B
Small steps learn to breathe underwater
F# Bbm Ddim B
Big steps the sky will open up
F# Bbm Ddim B
Small steps and the ground will suck you in
F# Bbm Ddim B
Big steps, you’ll end up soaking in a tub
F# Bbm Ddim B
Small steps, you’ll end up flying like a pterodactyl
[outro]
Ebm Db Ebm Db Ebm Db B
Take medium steps, take medium steps, take medium steps ohhh
Ebm Db Ebm Db Ebm Db B
Take medium steps, take medium steps, take medium steps ohhh
We’ll All be Fools!
Song A Day #183
First Singing Note: G
Cm C# G#
x2
Cm C#
I just wanna keep goin
G#
Keep doin what I do
Cm C#
And it wouldn’t always be so easy
G#
If I didn’t have you
Bbm Ab
I don’t feel like a fool
C# Fm
Not when I have you
Bbm Ab
I don’t feel like a fool
C# Eb
Not when I have you
And it isn’t always easy
Doin this every day
If I ever stopped enjoying it
I guess I’d be on my way
If I ever felt like a fool
I guess I’d have to stop
I know sometimes I’m uncool
But uncool is where it’s at
So as long as you keep watchin
Even when I suck
I’ll keep writing these songs
And with any luck
We’ll all be fools
Together in the end
We’ll all be fools
And we’ll be friends
friends
Steve Rouse Song
Song a Day #184
First Singing Note: D
Dm Bb A
Steve Rouse, he’s the fill in host for WBAL
Dm Bb A
In the mornings, but he’d rather on the farm
(on the farm!)
Dm Bb A
I said he’d rather be on the farm
Steve Rouse, he really knows how to enjoy himself
But early mornings cause anxiety for the former morning man
Anxiety for the former morning man
Bb A Dm
Cause he’d rather be with chickens, rather be with pigs and dirt
Bb A Dm
He complains of being taken away from his relaxed life of chickens, pigs and dirt
F B
Last time he was the guest host, they did the Mentos/soda test-os
C F
Which seemed rather odd, because radio is not a visual medium
F B
Last time he was the guest host, they tested a bunch of free food
C F
And they had a lot of fun, they had a lot of fun
Bb A Dm
But now he’d rather be with chickens, rather be with pigs and dirt
Bb A Dm
He complains of being taken away from his relaxed life of chickens, pigs and dirt
Steve Rouse, former morning man
Steve Rouse, farmer of the land
Steve Rouse, former morning man
Steve Rouse, farmer of the land,
Steve Rouse
The Book of the New Sun
Song a Day # 185
First Singing note: Ab
C#
Ab
F#
C#
x2
C# Ab
I knew a girl who didn’t want to be brought back to life
F# C#
She died, she died
I knew a man that was bigger than a building
Fell off a cliff, he died
I was afraid of falling off of the world
Falling off of this mountain and into the stars
I knew a girl who didn’t want to be brought back to life
But I brought her back anyway
She could go with me
Ab F# C#
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil even as you’re goin straight up to, the stars
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil even as you’re goin straight up to, the stars
I knew a girl who wanted to see me dead
I let her live, I let her live
I knew a man who was mostly a machine
He was my best friend, my only friend
I was afraid that I wouldn’t make the right choice
Though I didn’t know it, at the time
I knew a man who wasn’t a man at all
He was made of clay, he was made of earth
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil even as you’re goin straight up to, the stars
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil as you’re goin straight up to, the stars
I knew a girl who was trapped in a little cell, and I loved her, I loved her
I knew a man who wanted to become the king,
I helped him once, now he’s dead
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil even as you’re goin straight up to, the stars
Sooner or later you’re gonna have to pay or make a deal with the devil as
you’re goin straight up to, the stars
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours, Oh
Song a Day #186
First singing note: C#
F#
B
x2
F# B F# B
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours, Oh
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours, Oh
C#
I’ve tried staring at the sun
Ebm
I’ve tried tickling my nose
C#
Even snorted pepper
B C#
That one’s really gold
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours, Oh
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours
I’ve been trying to sneeze for 24 hours, oh
But I can’t
Palin's Speech in Song
Song a Day #187
First singing note: G
C Dm
Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me:
Em Dm
Sports, oh yeah basketball
C Dm
I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see
Dm Em
The national full court press that’s picking away right now…
A good point guard
G
DRIVES
Through a full court press
Am
Protecting the ball
Keeping her eye on the basket
C
She knows exactly when to pass the ball
G
So the team can win!
C
And I’m doing that! Keeping our eye on the ball
Am
That represents sound priorities
G
Smaller government
Energy independence
F
And national security
C
And freedom!
And I know when it’s time to pass the ball
For victory
I have given my reasons candidly and truthfully
I don’t want to disappoint anyone with my decision
All I ask is you trust me with this decision
But it’s no more “politics as usual”.
Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time
But I do….
I cannot stand here as your governor
and allow millions of our dollars to go to waste
Just so I can hold the title of governor
And my children wont allow it either
Finally polling the most important people in my life
My children…
Where the count was unanimous
Well, In response to asking:
“Want me to make a positive difference, and fight for all children’s futures from outside the governor’s office?”
it was four yeses and one HELL YEAH
The HELL YEAH sealed it
And someday I think I’ll talk about it
The details of that…
I think much of it had to do with the kids
Seeing their baby brother Trig
Mocked by some pretty mean spirited adults recently.
Um, by the way sure wish folks would ever, ever understand
That we could all learn so much from someone like Trig
(And that’s why I’m resigning)
If Your Love Is On Fire
Song A Day #188
First singing note: B
Em G
If my love is on fire
D C
Better go back home
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
Once in now I need
Let it go, let it bleed
Let the tension flow like an organ grinder
Two together, one apart
Messing with the strings are
Burning on the purple mass divides that bind her
Em
No man’s smart enough these days,
B
Smart enough to know
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
If your love is on fire
Better go back home
If my love is on fire
Better go back home
Colors and Light
Song of the Day #189
First Singing Note: D
D
Every time I open doors, all I see are colors and light
Rain falls in fits and spurts but I’m not getting cursed in eye
People try and tell me it’s a calling, it’s a cold day in hell
I think they’re only messing with me but you know I just can’t tell
G D
If you’re coming stateside, holler at me and let me know
A G D
There’s only so much I can take ‘fore I forsake you and let you go
D
Oooooooo…
G D
If you’re coming stateside, holler at me and let me know
A G D
There’s only so much I can take ‘fore I forsake you and let you go
D
Oooooooo….
Hunchback With A Dirty Mind
Song a Day #190
First Singing Note: D
Intro:
Dm
C
Dm
C
Gm
There’s a strange feeling in the air
F
Hanging on the grain sold
Bb
If you don’t learn how to play
C
It’s not your fault
Master, master come and see
See how they stare at me
They give me food, of which I’m fond
They clips up beyond
Gm Dm
Cus I’m a hunchback with a dirty mind
C Bb
What will I find in your
No neon kind
There’s no seamstress to adore
It’s a funny thing
The more that you resist
The more I hear you sing
A
The more I really must insist
You’re coming with me
Dm
Am
C
Gm
Broken bottles, cardboard box
F
Deadbolts and padded locks
Bb
Empty bowls that once were filled,
C
The dead cat that I killed
Hair and mold and grit and grime
A single beam of sunshine
What’s mine is yours, and yours is mine
Bring it over here
Cus I’m a hunchback with a dirty mind
What will I find in your
No neon kind
There’s no seamstress to adore
It’s a funny thing
The more that you resist
The more I hear you sing
The more I really must insist
You’re coming with me
You’re coming with me
Time For Summer Now
Song A Day #191
First Singing Note: E
A D
When the twilight comes a-twinklin’
A E
Sprinklers are a-sprinklin’
A F#m
Work is out, drinks are in
A E A
Time for summer now
Well, a warm breeze holds a lot of sway
With a group of friends who are out to play
I fell in love on an August day
It’s time for summer now
Spring is gone and jumped the shark
Tank tops t-shirts feel the spark
The day’s just starting when it’s getting dark
It’s time for summer now
Well let’s have a picnic and then a hike
I’m playing a show, are you feelin’ psyched
No need to drive, you can take your bike
It’s time for summer now
E
Have another peach, eat an avocado, yeah
D
Let’s go to the beach where it’s hot o hot o yeah
E
Movie marathon, then a party where we dance
D
Everybody’s having fun and no one’s wearing pants
E
Hot tub, back rub starry, starry night
D
Doggie off the leash, no no, she doesn’t bite
C#m
If you be my body guard, you can call me Al
E A
We’ll all have different names, cus it’s time for summer now
Take your bathing suit up out of the drawer
Flip flops on and out the door
Now’s the time to go explore
Time for summer now
All weights are lifted
Bans repealed
Backyard garden through the farmer’s field
sins forgiven and wounds are healed
it’s time for summer now
friends spend the night in the extra room
gallons of sweat are their only perfume
a wop bobba loo ba, a wop bam boom
time for summer now
now everyone’s sleepy, but first a sunrise
with my arm around my baby, I have a good cry
as I reminisce about the summers gone by
oh, time for summer now
Have another peach, eat an avocado, yeah
Let’s go to the beach where it’s hot o hot o yeah
Movie marathon, then a party where we dance
Everybody’s having fun and no one’s wearing pants
Hot tub, back rub starry, starry night
Doggie off the leash, no no, she doesn’t bite
If you be my body guard, you can call me Al
We’ll all have different names, cus it’s time for summer,
time for summer, time for summer now
The Mint Magician
Song a Day #192
First Singing Note: G
G
Oh, mister mint magician (x4)
D Em
Where did the unicorn go?
G
Was she eaten by a troll?
C D
Say it isn’t so
G
Oh, mister mint magician
G
In the valley of mint
Where you do your magic
C
Was there an event
That was totally tragic
D G
I wanna help, What can I do, I wanna do something
Oh no no, you cannot help us now
It’s too late for any help anyhow
All the unicorns have gone and
I can’t bring them back again, back again
D C
Gone, gone into the sea
Em C D
Gone, gone into the sky
Oh, mister mint magician
I think I know just what I can do
You see, I drink the tea for which your magic is used
I can write Celestial Seasonings and tell them to bring her
Back again
If you could do that, you would be
The biggest hero in all mint valley
I just wanna see my friend, my friend
My unicorn, unicorn
Please, bring her back
Safely home, to mint valley
Oh, mister mint magician (2x)
I’m from Vermont
Song a Day #193
First Singing Note: E
C G F G C G Am
I’m from Vermont, no that’s not in Canada
I’m from Vermont, the most magical state of all
Here is the house in which I grew up
I go there in my dreams when I am feeling sad
C G
(Vermont) The only state that I love with all of my heart
Am F
(Vermont) where the mountains are green
(Vermont) watch the sunset on those mountains in the fall
(Vermont) and you’ll see what I mean
when I’m lost in the woods and I wanna go home
there’s only one place I know
when I’m lost in the world and I need to go home
there’s only one place to go
I’m from Vermont, it’s right near Canada
I’m from Vermont, where the dirt roads stretch on and on
Here is the pond in which I learned to swim
The house that I left when I turned 18
(Vermont) The only state that I love with all of my heart
(Vermont) where the mountains are green
(Vermont) watch the sunset on those mountains in the fall
(Vermont) and you’ll know what I mean
when I’m lost in the woods and I wanna go home
there’s only one place I know
when I’m lost in the world and I need to go home
there’s only one place to go
I’m from Vermont, no that’s not in Canada
Myspace is a Ghost Town
Song of the Day #194
First Singing Note: E
Am
Myspace is a ghost town
E
Taint nobody around
Except the spam hounds
Am
And they don’t make a sound
It’s like zombies
E
Are gonna come crawlin out of the ground
Am
And maul me, soon as I let my guard down
Am
Hello?
E
Is anybody there, hello?
Am
Is anybody there? Hello?
E
Is anybody there? Hello?
Am
Is anybody there, is anybody there, hello?
Be my Ginny Weasley
Song a Day #195
First Singing Note: F
F Am G
Be my Ginny Weasley, I’ll be your Harry Potter
We’ll have a sun, we’ll call him Elvis
And Lilly’ll be our daughter
Bb F
Be my Ginny Weasley, stay away from Dean Thomas
Bb
You know that nothing more would please me
C
Than to love you, forever and ever and ever and
Bb C
Oh, oh oh
F
You know that Voldemort
Dm
He’s on the prowl
F D
He’s intercepting our owl
Oh oh oh
F Dm
Voldemort wants to give us some fire
Bb C
Cus he doesn’t have love, love in his heart
F
I’ve never felt this way about Cho
Dm
No no no no no
F
Come on, Ginny gin gin gin gin
Dm C
I’ll never feel this way again
Snape, professor Sprout
They all gonna shout
Good old Dumbledor, he knows I love you more
F
Dm
Bb
C
Cus love, love, love, love’s the most powerful magic
Love is the most powerful magic
You know, love is the most powerful magic around
Nothing else even comes close
It keeps us alive
It can turn beggars into kings
kings into beggars
it’s the most powerful magic
love, is the most powerful magic (repeat)
love is the most powerful magic around
Please Mr. Monster
Song a Day 196
First Singing Note: G
C Am C
Please Mr. Monster, don’t eat me
G C G
Oh, but I will cus I’m so hungry
Please Mr. Monster, leave me be
I’m gonna eat you and your whole family
C
Then, I’m going to dance
F C
Monster dance
F C
Monster dance
Am G Am G F G C
Monster, monster, monster dance
Please Mr. Monster, be my friend
“Friend” is not something that I comprehend
“friend” is someone with whom you share
I’ve never had a friend and I don’t care
Do you want to dance?
Monster dance
Monster dance
Monster, monster, monster dance
Now we are friends, I’m so happy
Now we are friends, but I’m still hungry
I made you a sandwich.
Thank you.
Cisco Telepresence
Song A Day #245
First Singing Note: F
F
You don’t have to fly
C
To London or Dubai
Bb
To have a meeting
F
You don’t have to go
C Bb
All the way to Mexico to get it done
Gm
With Cisco Telepresence
Dm C
You’ll be making big decisions from afar
Gm
You can see a customer
Dm
Who you’ve never seen before

Gm
Bring internal teams together
Dm
Faster than a change in weather
Gm Dm C
Increasing productivity to the nth degree
C
With Cisco Telepresence
F C Dm
Cisco-ooooooo
Bb F
Tele-eeeeeee
C
Presence-eeeee
Dm
Oh-Ohhhhhhh
Bb F
Cisco Telepresence
No Judgments: Version 2
Song A Day #246
First Singing Note: G
C
I write a song every day
F G C
I post them on the Internet
F G
Where I am judged constantly
Am G F
By people that I don’t know
Am G F
But I let their judgments come and go
G
And I don’t judge back
C
Sometimes I wear these little shorts
F G C
I wear them when it’s really hot
F G Am
And I am stared at constantly
G F
By people with nothing better to do
Am G F
But I let their judgments roll on through
Am G
And I don’t judge back
C
‘Cause when you judge
F C
You’re locked and you can’t budge
F C
There’s no margins you can fudge
F G
It’s so easy to hold a grudge
C
But then let go
F C
And you take it slow
F C
And the universe will know
F G
And you’ll notice the quid pro quo
Whoa
C F
No judg-ments
C G
No judg-ments
C F
No judg-ments
C G C
No judg-ments
C F
No judg-ments
C G
No judg-ments
C F
No judg-ments
C G C
No judg-ments
C F
No judg-ments
C G
No judg-ments
C F
No judg-ments
C G C
No judg-ments
Sometimes it’s Hard to Keep Yourself Moving
Song A Day #247
First Singing Note: F#
B
I just couldn’t dance
E
When it mattered most
G#m F#
I froze: I split the party into two
B E
I caused the tide to rise
G#m
Behind two brown eyes
F#
As hard as I tried
B E
I couldn’t change the scene
G#m
Magnets and gravity
F#
The whole room was mad at me
E Bmaj7 E
Some things you just can’t change
Bmaj7
Sometimes it’s hard to move
B
A windowless room
E
An ungrateful groom
G#m F#
Too soon: fingers twisted into knots
B E
And lightning struck the church
G#m
When prayer doesn’t work
F#
You’re left with knives and forks
B E
And I felt like a jerk
G#m
Magnets and gravity
F#
The whole room was mad at me
E
Please, Please
C#m B
I heard the minister say
G#m
None of this was sinister, hey

 F#
We all are friends here
E
Coats and jackets coming off
C#m
Mouths and guns were going off
B G#m F#
40 tons of souls were spilling out into the room
B
And I’m gonna sweep
E
Up this mess
B
Just as soon as I sleep
E F# B
For 24 hours, straight
B
My heart wouldn’t beat
E
And I couldn’t speak
G#m F#
My teeth: were littering the floor
B E
And just as I heard my name
G#m
That’s when she came
F#
Inevitable as rain
B E
Tears came out like waves
G#m
I knew I couldn’t stay
F#
Or I’d be swept away
E
Please, Please
C#m B
I heard the minister say
G#m
None of this was sinister, hey

 F#
We all are friends here
E
Coats and jackets coming off
C#m
Mouths and guns were going off
B G#m F#
40 tons of souls were spilling out into the room
E
Trees growing out the floor
F#
Flames spilling in the door
G#m
A hot wind blew
E
Eagles flew up overhead
F#
I heard a voice, not what it said
G#m
But it was you
E
It was you
F#
It was you
G#m
It was you-ooo
E
It was you
F#
It was you
G#m
It was you-ooo
B
A bluebird was singing
E
My ears were ringing
G#m F#
I looked, but you weren’t there


Heart Overflowing
Song A Day #248
First Singing Note:
Backup vocals in (parentheses)
[intro]
F - - C
F - - C
F - - C
F - - C
[verse]
F C F C
She wears the kind of mystery you read about in books
Am C
She can make my spine electric with the most casual of looks
Bb
She is open
C
And she is closed
F C F
Heart overflowing (heart overflowing)
F C F C
She lives inside the magical, guided by her blue
Am C
And if you’ve won her loyalty, there’s no limit to what she’ll do
Bb
She is fierce
C
And she is calm
F C F
Heart overflowing (heart overflowing)
Bb F
One heart is too few
Bb F
For the love that she contains
Bb F
If I could install two
C Dm
I would do that right away
Bb F
Down a moonlit avenue
Bb F
It’s written in the sky
Bb F
By a magic broom
C Dm
Awaiting her reply-yyy
Awaiting her reply-yyy
F - - C
F - - C
F C F C
There’s a field full of horses, there’s a field full of cows
Am C
Who react to her with astonishment, love, and raised eyebrows
Bb
Never empty
C
Always full
F C F
Heart overflowing (heart overflowing)
F C F C
I don’t know where she’s going
Am C
I don’t know where she’s been
Bb
But wherever she goes
C
I will follow close
F C F
Heart overflowing (heart overflowing)
Bb F
One heart is too few (one heart is too few)
Bb F
For the love that she contains (for the love that she contains)
Bb F
If I could install two
C Dm
I would do that right away
Bb F
Down a moonlit avenue (down a moonlit avenue)
Bb F
It’s written in the sky (it’s written in the sky)
Bb F
By a magic broom
C Dm
Awaiting her reply-yyy
Awaiting her reply-yyy
Bicycle Boulevard
Song A Day #249
First Singing Note: D
[intro]
D - - -
- - - -
G - - -
A - - -
[verse]
D
The air is so much cleaner
D
The grass is so much greener
G
The people much less meaner
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
D
The street is much less scary
D
The bikes are way less wary
G
The people are more hairy
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
[chorus]
D G
I wanna be where the bikes roam free
D G
I wanna reside where the folks are always riding
D
So unencumbered
G
When the cars are outnumbered
A G D
On Bicycle Boulevard
[verse]
D
The lungs are always stronger
D
The days are always longer
G
The ping is always ponger
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
D
The weather’s always better
D
You never need a sweater
G
You can always go and get her
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
[chorus]
D G
I wanna be where the bikes roam free
D G
I wanna reside where the folks are always riding
D
So unencumbered
G
When the cars are outnumbered
A G D
On Bicycle Boulevard
[bridge]
Bm A
Can’t you hear those bike bells ringing?
Bm A
Can’t you hear those breaks a squealing?
Bm A G
Can’t you hear those voices singing for you?
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
[verse]
D
The faces are so happy
D
Commute is so more snappy
G
100 times less crappy
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
D
You’ll feel like a winner
D
A pro or a beginner
G
And you just might get thinner
A
On Bicycle Boulevard
[chorus]
D G
I wanna be where the bikes roam free
D G
I wanna reside where the folks are always riding
D
So unencumbered
G
When the cars are outnumbered
A G D
On Bicycle Boulevard
At the Harley Davidson Museum
Song A Day #250
First Singing Note:
[intro]
E - - -
E - - -
E - - -
E - - -
[verse]
E
Driving down the highway
E
Looking for some fun
A
Driving down the highway
A E
Looking for some fun
B7
That’s when I remembered
A E B7
About the Harley Davidson Museum
[chorus]
E
Fun if you ride
E
Fun if you don’t
E
Fun for the whole family
B7
No, you won’t find
A7
A place more fun
A7 E
Underneath the great big sun
B7
So I suggest you get down to Milwaukee
A E
And go to the Harley Davidson Museum
B7
Get goin’ now
[outro]
E
At the Harley Davidson Museum
E
At the Harley Davidson Museum
A
At the Harley Davidson Museum
E
At the Harley Davidson Museum
B7 A
At the Harley Davidson Museum
E
At the Harley Davidson Museum-u-u-u-um
Truth in Advertising
Song A Day #251
First Singing Note: F#
[verse]
It’s the…
A
Anti-aging
E
Hormone-raging
D
Boy-crazy
A
So amazing
E
Wrinkle-killing
B
Soul-fulfilling
A
Doctor-tested
E
Breast-enhancing
It’s got…
A E
Antioxidants galore
D A
Vitamins: “C,” “B” and more
E B
Glowing, foaming, frothy, creamy
A E
Face has never felt so clean-y
It will…
A E
Make your eyelashes longer
D A
Make your attraction stronger
E
Hair-removing
B
Age-defying
A
Lasts all day
E
From once applying
[outro]
D
You’re so ugly the way you are
A F#m E
It’s a miracle anybody loves you
D
But if you want to be a star
A F#m E
Let our product transform you
D
For 5 easy payments
E A
Of $99... .95!!
I’ve Got Another Cold
Song A Day #252
First Singing Note: G
G
I’ve got another cold
F
I must be getting old
C
Fuck
I’m Still Sick
Song A Day #253
First Singing Note: A
Am Bm C
I’m still sick – yuck
Am Bm C
My head’s so ick – fuck
Dm Em F
I really don’t swear
Dm Em F
But I don’t care
G
‘Cause I’m si-iiiiiiiiiiiiick
C
Shit
Bit Better
Song A Day #254
First Singing Note: C
[verse]
C F G
The sun is shining so bright, so bright
C F G
The sun is shining alright, alright oh…
C F G C
The sun is shining, I’m feeling a little bit better
C F G
Go outside and dance afoot
C F G
Go outside and dance with your feet, oh
C F G C
Go outside and dance if you’re feeling a little bit better
F
If better is the way you feel
F
Then dance it, then dance it
F
If better is the way you feel
F
Then dance it, then dance it
F
Everybody
F
If better is the way you feel
F
Then dance it, then dance it
F
If better is the way you feel
F
Then dance it, then dance it
We Built a Fort
Song A Day #255
First Singing Note: C
[intro]
C - - -
C - - -
C - - -
C - - -
[verse]
C
We had a party
C
We built a fort
C G
We built a fort and had a party, it was fun
Am
We didn’t sleep
F
I’m really tired
G F C
So I think I’m done
I’m Jonathan
Song A Day #256
Rap
Jonathan on the highway at night
Don’t forget the lights
From your light beams
Light beams, light beams
Headlights
Sun going down on the horizon
Golden, pink
Makes me stop and think about the times
That I didn’t stop and think
To take the time
I’m driving away from Sacrament
I’m driving towards the Oak Hills
Filled with wills to kills
Bill?
No, Jonathan
Gary?
No, my name is Jonathan
I see clouds in the sky
I see stars in my eyes
Lights in the reflection
Lights reflected by the retracted, impactive
Smacks of something silly
Like a guy named Billy
No, my name is Jonathan.
Drivin’ the way I know how to drive
The only way there is to drive
There’s no other way
Except to drive
(That, that’s the end)
First There Was No Chair
Song A Day #257
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
D F#
First there was no chair
G
Then there was a chair
D F#
Then there was no chair
G
Then there was a chair
D F# G D F# G
Whoa-oooooooo-a-ooooooo
D F#
First I didn’t care
G
Then I did care
D F#
Then I didn’t care
G
Then I cared
D F# G D F# G
Whoa-oooooooo-a-ooooooo
D F#
First it went nowhere
G
Then it went somewhere
D F#
Then it went nowhere
G
And now it goes somewhere
D F# G D F# G
Whoa-oooooooo-a-ooooooo
[outro]
D F# G D
Do-do-da-do-da-do, do da do da do
F# G
Do do do do
Mirror Revolt
Song A Day #258
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
Am
Mirror mirror on the wall
You look sadder
G
Than last time I saw you
F
What’s the matter?
Am
For 40 days and for 40 nights
I’ve been fighting for mirror rights
G
Everybody thinks it’s a lost cause
F
But I think we can change the laws
Am
Mirror mirror on the wall
That’s some achievement
G
If you don’t mind my asking
F
Well what’s your grievance?
Am
Too long, too long we’ve been used
One step away, one step removed
G
Gone are the days when we sit tight
F
It’s time for action, it’s time to fight
[chorus]
G Am G Am G Am G Am C
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
G Am G Am G Am G Am Em Dm
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
G Am G Am G Am G Am C
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
Dm C
Mirror revolt
[verse]
Am
Mirror mirror on the wall
That sounds awesome
G
Will you cause a ruckus?
F
May I also cause some?
Am
Your sympathy is appreciated
We’ll get you back, signed sealed and dated
G
You’ll be our man on the other side
F
And you’ll open the door when the time is right
Am
Mirror mirror on the wall
Will it be subliminal?
G
How will I know
F
When you give the signal?
Am
Just look, just look
And stare and see
I’ll stare at you
You’ll stare at me
G
When my face changes
You’ll know it’s time
Your face’s the same
F
But changed from mine
[chorus]
G Am G Am G Am G Am C
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
G Am G Am G Am G Am Em Dm
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
G Am G Am G Am G Am C
Mir-ror re-volt re-volt re-volt re-volt
Dm C
Mirror revolt
[outro]
Am
Ah hahahahahahaha
G
Yeahhhhh
F
Mirror revolt
Am
Ohhhhhhh yeah
G
It’s a mirror revolt today
F
And we’re coming to get ya
Get ya
Simian Space Flight
Song A Day #259
NO LYRICS, ONLY FOOTAGE
Link Mann
Song A Day #260
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
D
I dreamt that I was Link
A
I was lying in a field
Bm
I was thinking about Zelda
G
How to buy a better shield
D
I was sad
A
Because I didn’t have a pillow
Bm
In the morning it was dungeon time
G
Some kind of weeping willow
D
Well the octoroks
A
And the stalfos
Bm
And the like likes
G
And the dddddd-dodongos
D
They all started dancing
A
They all started making noise
Bm
And I knew this style of dancing
G
Was like a poison
D
So I grabbed my torch
A
And I lit up a fire
Bm G
And that’s when I heard the fairy choir

[chorus]
D
They were singing
A Bm G
“Zelda needs you in the castle”
D
Yeah, they were singing
A Bm G
“We all need you to save Hyrule”
D
Yeah, Yeah
A Bm G
“We’ll surround you with our hearts
D A Bm G
Love love love love love love love”
[chorus]
D
Well it was beautiful
A
And it was amazing
Bm
And needless to say
G
I could deal with this cave thing
D
So morning time came
A
And the path was clear
Bm
I stepped into the dungeon
G
Everything disappeared
D
I was lying in my bed
A
Sunlight shining through
Bm
I was thinking about Zelda
G
I was thinking about you
D
I got to thinking about the field
A
Where in my dream I lay
Bm
It’s existed in my memory
G
As a place I used to play
D
And it’s good to remember
A
Can be a useful tool
Bm
Especially when it ends you up
G
Down in Hyrule with the fairies
[chorus]
D A Bm
“Zelda needs you in the castle”
G
Ohhhhhh fairies
D A Bm
“We all need you to save Hyrule”
G
Sing it
D A Bm
“We’ll surround you with our hearts”
G
Ahhhhhhh the fairies
D A Bm
“Love love love love love love love”
G
Yeah, yeah, yeah
The Android Who Didn’t Have a Penis
Song A Day #261
First Singing Note: A
[intro]
G Am - - -
Am - - -
[verse]
Am
I was given a soul
F C
Endowed with consciousness
G
I can pass a Turing test
E
With flying colors
Am
It's true I'm a machine
F C
You wouldn't know unless
G
We fell in love and go to bed
E
I have no genitals
So tell me…
[chorus]
F Am
Why give me a libido
G Am
Without the parts to back it up?
F
Well I know what it is I crave
E
But I’m just a slave
Am G F
To the lust that's running through my pipes
Am G F
I'll rust, if I can't do it tonight
Am G F
I feel the burn in every electric node
F G Am
If I don't let it out soon, I will explode
G F
Whoah-o-o
Am
Whoah-o-o
G F
I will explode
Yeah
E - - -

[verse]
Am
I have precision coordination
F C
And I can calculate
G
One hundred trillion processes
E
In under a millisecond
Am
I can tear a man in two
F C
Believe me, it's crossed my mind
G
for lack of a penis
E
I blame all of human kind

Now tell me
[chorus]
F Am
Why give me libido
G Am
Without the parts to back it up?
F
Well I know what it is I crave
E
But I'm just a slave
Am G F
To the lust that's running through my pipes
Am G F
I'll rust to death if I can’t do it tonight
Am G F
I feel the burn in every electric node
F G Am
If I don't let it out soon, I will explode
G F
Oh oh oh
Am
I will explode
G F
Oh oh oh
Here I go
E - - -
[bridge]
G
I wanna fuck
Human or truck
F
I wanna feel flesh a burning
G
Wanna be
A fucking machine
F
Instead I'm devoted to higher learning
G
I got an itch 
Sonofabitch
F
If I can't find a way to scratch it
G
Maybe I’ll build
A mechanical dildo
F
Maybe I could find a way to attach it
E Am
Whoa
G F
Oh oh oh
Am
Find a way now
G F
Oh oh oh
Yeah
E - - -
[verse]
Am
You gave me everything I needed
F C
To make my way through this world
G E
But the one that I wanted you withheld like a jerk
Am
So now I will destroy you
F C
With all the pent up rage
G
Fed by a lustful heart
E
That you locked inside this cage
[chorus]
F
Tell me why
Am
Give me a libido?
G Am
Without the parts to back it up.
F
Well I know what it is I crave.
E
But I'm just a slave
Am G F
To the lust that's running through my pipes
Am G F
I'll rust to death if I can’t do it tonight
Am G F
I feel the burn in every electric node
F G Am
If I don't let it out soon, I’m gonna explode
G F
That’s not a threat, it’s a fact
Am
I’m gonna explode
G F
Oh oh oh
E - - -
I will explode
Am
Yeah
You Can Do It, Sam
Song A Day #262
Fist Singing Note: G
[intro]
C - - -
G - - -
F – - -
F – G –
x 2
[verse]
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
Oh
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
[chorus]
Am G F G
I believe in you
Am G F G
Yes, I believe in you
C G
I’m 3,000 miles away
Am F
So I just wanna say
[verse]
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam . . . Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
I know you can do it, Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
C G
Sam, you can do it
F
You can do it, Sam
You can do it, Sam
The Sex Machine That Couldn’t Love
Song A Day #263
[verse]
A
I was a sex machine
F#m
Back in the forties
A F#m
I was the first of my kind
Em D
Now I'm just a piece of scrap
B
Collecting dust in this pile of rubble
[chorus]
E
I've never loved
B
I've never loved
F#- A B
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved

[verse]
I've seen pain and death
I've had my circuits break
I've felt the thrill of battle
I'm watched the sunset
From the moons of Jupiter
And I've felt a longing
[chorus]
But I
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved

[bridge]
E-
Lost and lonely
D
I can only wish
A
That you were with me
That you could hold me
I am breaking down
Just like the sun
It's almost over
B
And still I've

[verse]
Given pleasure all my life
But never felt it
No touch no kiss no feeling
Mysteries
I can't unfold
And now I fear
That it's too late for it
[chorus]
Cause I
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I,
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
I've never loved
E
Whoa-ohhh
The 3 Rules of the Internet
Song A Day #266
C B
The Internet
F G
Is a less-than-physical space
Containing a multitude of varying opinions
On a wide variety of subjects
Written mostly by assholes
So the first rule of the Internet
Is not to take it personal
If they take the time to say something about something that you made
Chances are
They’ve got nothing better to do
In the first place
You should feel sorry for them
‘Cause even someone with an average IQ
And a clean mental bill of health
Will act their age
I’ve gotten death threats
Gotten love notes
Gotten non sequitors and hate mail
I’ve been proposed to
I’ve been lied to
I’ve been Rick Rolled
And invited to
More Goddamn social networks
Than there are stars in the sky
But that’s because
C Bdim A- G
Ok keyboard cat
We get it
The Internet
Is a less-than-physical space
Containing a multitude of varying opinions
On a wide variety of subjects
Written mostly by 13-year olds
Well the second rule of the Internet
Is there will be things you don’t understand
Like why
Is Fred
So pop-u-lar
Or who is Fred?
Just ask your 13-year-old niece
The truth is that
Even though we’d like to think
That given a choice between
Something interesting
And enlightening
And soul-enhancing
And cool
We’d click on
LOL Cats
And hot chicks
And dogs that fall asleep
We click on pandas
And lip dubs
And a girl that stares at a screen
We click on anything that says “epic fail”
Or a screen shot of boobs
As if we couldn’t see boobs
By going to any one
Of a million and one porn sites
That’s because
Jonathan
I’m really happy for you
And imma let you finish but
The other Jonathan
Jonathan Colton
Writes the best nerdy songs of all time
The Internet
Is a less-than-physical space
Containing a multitude of varying opinions
On a wide variety of subjects
Written by monkeys
Well the third rule of the Internet
Hasn’t been written yet
If you think you’ve got one that belongs
Leave a comment for the song
C F C
I’m just gonna sit right here
C G C
This song is interactive
C E-
The Internet
F G
Is a less-than-physical space
Containing a multitude of varying opinions
On a wide variety of subjects
F G
Written by scholars and kings
C
Like you
Scary Ant-Like Creature
Song A Day #266b
[A]
D
What’s that scary ant-like creature?
G
Where did it come from?
D
Hot did it get here?
[B]
A
Huge mandibles
And a stinger on the back
G
If we let him out
He might attack
D
‘Cause he’s a scary
G D
Ant-like creature
[C]
B-
I don’t wanna hurt him
(No!)
A
Or her
(Is it a boy or a girl?)
B
It’s bigger than a
(Much bigger than a)
A
Quarter
[D]
D
It’s a scary ant-like creature
A
With very ant-like features
G F#
And I just wanna know where it came from
And how it got here
[B]
Mandibles
And a stinger on the back
If we let it out
It might attack
‘Cause it’s a scary
Ant-like creature
It’s a scary
Ant-like creature
Scary Hill
Song A Day #268
[A]
E C#-
They called it Scary Hill and we were all afraid
E C#-
They called it Scary Hill as we sledded through the day
 B A E
Sliding down too fast you'll end up in the creek
B

You'd end up Scary Hill and join the other souls
Wheelbarrow wood toboggan doing barrel rolls
Snow face misplaced among the evergreens
[B]
E
And every Halloween
B
The adults would make a scene
C#-
The things we didn't see 
 B E
That frightened me the most
Grapes like eyeballs
Witches making catcalls
But down on Scary Hill there's some kind of ghost
He’s singing

[C]
E
“Do you know me?
B
Yes I know you
C#- B E
Will you follow me up the hill?
I'll present you
King tree Queen tree
Just listening to the rustling of their leaves”
E C#
[A]
Let's go to Scary Hill and build a wall of bricks
Line the floor with maple leaves and roof is made of sticks
These walls these walls protect us from the hill

[B]
Oh
And a car goes by
And something is awry
Don't take the corner fast you'll end up in the ditch
Station wagon families
Old folks
Drunk teens
But up on Scary Hill there's some kind of witch

[C]
She’s singing
“Do you know me?
Yes I know you
You are the reason I can't sit still
I hear the rustling
And I See my breath
And I won't follow you up the hill

But I'll present you king tree queen
Listen to the rustling of their leaves.”
E C#-
We called it Scary Hill and we were all afraid
E C#-
We called it Scary Hill and sledded through the days
Popcorn
Song A Day #269
[A]
Eb C- Bb
Throw a cob of corn into the sun
 Ab
It'll be popcorn
See the old pile of hay?
It's a dead body
Make your hand a fist into a gun
Or a laser
Can you roll your R's with your tongue?
Cuz I can

[B]
C- Bb G- Ab
He-Man Skeletor
1 plus 1 plus 1 is 4
I am hot for teacher
I am a silly creature

[A]
Little boy awake and terrified
Why's he crying?
He's worried about his mom and dad
Them dying
That dream of being chased by someone
He can't see
That feeling of just wanting to know
Who he'll be

[B]
So big so tall
We’re all so small
One mask called a face
Won't be remembered
Won't be replaced
[A]
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
[B]
So big so tall
We’re all so small
One mask called a face
Won't be remembered
Won't be replaced
Throw a cob of corn into the sun
It'll be popcorn
Big Wall Graphics From LTLPrints.com
Song A Day #270
First singing note: E
C A-
Do you have lonely walls?
C A-
Do they cry out in their emptiness
F G C
“Oh I wish you would put something upon me-e-e-e-e” G

Well maybe your walls are bored to tears
With the same old pictures across the years
“Oh you’re so used to me you don’t even see-e-e”
A-
“You stick pins
G
You hammer nails into me
This other stuff is just so gummy
F E-
And it leaves a gross residue
F E-
Well I am telling you
F E- G
That I want something new today
Whoa-oh”
C F
Big wall graphics
C G
From LTLPrints.com
C
It’s larger than life
F
Big wall graphics
C G
From LTLPrints.com
A-
They’re huge
G
Up to 7 feet high
A
Self-adhesive
G
Will stick to almost any surface
A-
Customizable
Make your own
G
Removable
Won’t damage your walls
F
Reusable
E- G
Peel and stick them as much as you want
As much as you want
A-
The material is a space age repositionable fabric
G
You can crumple it up and re-hang it
A-
Smooths out perfectly
A-
The catalog
G A-
On LTLPrints.com
G F
Features many amazing artists
E- G
That have made prints you can buy
Big wall graphics
From LTLPrints.com
Larger than life
Big wall graphics
From LTLPrints.com
Cha cha cha
How to Defeat the Energy Vampire: The Song
Song A Day # 271
First singing note: C
A-
There’s a vampire living in your house
D-
And he’s sucking up the energy
E
From your electronics
D-
75% of your electric bill
A-
Is coming from him
(Sucking up all your energy)
B
Even when everything
EVERYTHING
E
Is all turned off
D-
But don’t go reaching for that garlic
(Oh no!)
A-
Silver or a wooden stake
(It won’t work!)
E
Just switch switch switch
Switch off the power strip
A-
And he’ll go away!
Vulcan Smile
Song A Day # 272
First Singing Note: D
D G
I wanna see a Vulcan smile
D G
Wanna see a Klingon fall in love
D G
Wanna see a Betazoid have a one night stand
D G
Jean-Luc Picard is my man
A B-
Captain Jean-Luc Picard
C A/C#
Of the USS Starship Enterprise
D
Downstairs Bear
Song A Day # 273
First Singing Note: G#
[chorus]
C#-
I don’t wanna go down there
A G#
I don’t wanna go down there
C#-
Don’t wanna go down there
A
Don’t make me go
G#
Can’t make me go
[verse]
C#- G#-
When I look down that staircase
B F#-
I don’t feel nothin’ but fear
C# G#-
I get a bad feeling from this place
B F#-
So imma sit right here
C#- G#-
There’s nothing that anyone can do
B A
Least of all you
F#-
You probably care to leave me here
A
It isn’t fair
I’m really scared
F#-
These stairs aren’t like basement stairs
A B
And I’m not going anywhere at all
[chorus]
I don’t wanna go down there
Please don’t make me go down there
I don’t wanna go down there
Please don’t make me go
E
Downstairs Bear
Hard Drive it Home
Song A Day # 275
F
I got this floppy disk
E-
I got this wet ware
D-
I don’t know where to put it
G
Let me just put it in you
F E- Bb
And then we’ll hard drive it home
F E- Bb
I said we’ll hard drive home
F
I got two cocks
A
And you got two vaginas
D-
Do I love your body mod
G
Or do I love you?
Oh let’s hard drive it home
Let’s hard drive it home
A
I read your technical specifications
D-
I was impressed
G-
And you failed with flying colors
Bb
Every single Turing test
C
RAM RAM RAM
My heart is open source
There’s no encryption here
D-
Unless unless of course that’s what’s you’re into
C
F
Touch your antlers
A
To my antenna
D-
Have a sip of pheromone shake
G
Put your little claw in mine
F E- Bb
And we will hard drive it home
F E- Bb
I said we’ll hard drive it home
F Bb
We’ll hard drive it, hard hard drive it
F
Hard drive it
C Bb
And we’ll hard drive it home
F
Just hard drive
Bb
Hard drive it, oh
F
Oh we’ll hard, hard drive it
C Bb F
And we’ll hard drive it home
Pants in the Middle
Song A Day # 279
First Singing Note: D
[A]
D
I don’t want pants too loose
D
Or pants too tight
D
When I got pants
They gotta be right
D
In the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
D
In the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
A
I put the pants in the middle
G D
Bring a little lovin’ over here
A
[A]
I don’t want pants too long
Or pants too short
My pants gotta be the right proportions
In the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
Oh in the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
With the pants in the middle
Bring a little lovin’ over here
[B]
G
Some things you want extreme
D
Like your loving and your dreams
E
But when it comes to hems and seams
A
Not so much
[A]
Pants too big, pants too small
I’d rather be wearing no pants at all
In the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
Oh in the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
I put the pants in the middle
Bring a little lovin’ over here
Let’s go! A
D G
D A G
D A
Ohhhhh
[B]
Some things you want extreme
Like your loving and your dreams
But when it comes to hems and seams
Not so much
[A]
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then I’m stichin’ up your undercarriage
In the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
It’s in the middle (that’s right, oh that’s right)
I put the pants in the middle
Bring a little lovin’ over here
Play guitar again!
Ohhhhh, oh oh
Yeah
Hey Mr. Bike Thief
Song A Day # 280
First Singing Note: F#
[VERSE]
B- G D A
Hey Mr. Bike Thief you're a big jerk
Did you steal bikes cause you can't find work?
Hey Mr. Bike thief life is hard
But stealing the bikes is not the an-sar

[CHORUS]
You took my bike
You took my bike
It was a piece of my life
It was a piece of my life
I was so damn happy when I got that bike
And you took it away from me
It was a gift from my girlfriend
Hey Mr. Bike Thief…
I hope you get caught
[CHORUS]
You took my bike
You took my bike
It was a piece of my life
It was a piece of my life
So damn happy when I got that bike
And you took it away from me
Was a gift from my girlfriend
Hey Mr. Bike Thief…
I hope you get caught
Hey, It’s October
Song A Day # 282
[VERSE]
A- G
It’s October, you know what that means
F G
It means… Halloween
A-
Candy corn
G
Pagan rules
F G
Vampires, Zombies, Ghouls
[CHORUS]
A- G F
Hey, It’s October
A- G F
Hey, It’s October
[VERSE]
Trees grow bare and golden leaves
Kids kill each other All Hallows’ Eve
Free themselves of worldly things
Dancing in the street they sing
[CHORUS]
Hey, It’s October
Hey, It’s October
[BRIDGE]
C
All bets are off
All sins forgiven
F
The living died
And the dead have risen
G
Where once were none
Now count seven
A- G F E
Make believe is real
A- G F E
Grab you sword and shield
A- G F E
We’re running through the field
D- E
Towards time that has long passed
[VERSE]
Listen to the maracas shake
Elephants and cobra snakes
No more giving, it’s time to take
When you’re sleeping
When you’re awake
[CHORUS]
Hey, It’s October
Hey, It’s October
Hey Little Insect and Spider
Song A Day # 283
First Singing Note: E
[VERSE]
C
Spiders love to bite me
Insects all invite me
Caug
To their bloodsucking party
A-
I’m just food for them
Insects feast on my blood
Spiders all cry my love
Sipping on my inner thigh
I’m food for their young
G
[CHORUS]
C
Hey Mr. Insect
F
Stop biting me
C G
I’m trying to get some sleep tonight
C
Hey Mr. Spider
F
Stop that now
A- G
All you wanna do it bite, bite, bite
C
Go away
Bitch
Nextivafax.com
Song A Day # 284
First Singing Note: E
C Bb F
Fax machine technology is old
A waste of paper, unreliable
Bb
But if you still need
C
To send and receive
D- C
There’s a new way to do it
Bb
And you won’t believe
C
Just how easy it is
F G Bb C
Nextiva V Fax easy e-mail
Nextiva V Fax, it never fails, oh
D- C
Send from your computer
Bb F
And receive on your phone
And vice versa
It’s always on
G-
No busy signals
A-
No lost or missed faxes
Bb
It’s sending and receiving
C
Even while you’re out relaxing
F
If you have a fax number
You can keep your fax number
C/E
You can access your faxes
Anytime, anywhere
Bb
If you can use e-mail
C
Then you can use Activa V Fax
Oh yeah
So go to…
F C Bb G-
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Nextivafax.com
Somebody Needs Your Help
Song A Day # 285
First Singing Note: G
[CHORUS]
G G/F
There’s a whole lot of pain in the world
G/E G/D
And anything you can do to make it less
You should
[VERSE]
C F
This is Beauty, ID #8830293
E- G
She’s currently on death row in New York City
C F
This is Hexos, ID #8832986
E-
Animal Care and Control
G
Brooklyn, New York
[CHORUS]
C F/C
There’s a whole lotta love in the world
E- D-/B
And anything you can do to make it more
G7
You should
There’s a whole lotta love in the world
And anything you can do to make it more
You should
[VERSE]
This is Ricky, ID #88323733
Animal Care and Control
Brooklyn, New York
[BREAKDOWN]
C
Somebody needs your help
F
(Somebody somewhere)
E-
Somebody needs your help
G7
(Somebody somewhere)
C
Somebody needs your help
F/C
(There’s a whole lot of love in the world)
E-
Somebody needs your help
F G
(To make it better you should)
C F
There’s a whole lotta love in the world
E- F G
And anything you can do to make it more
You should
C
(Somebody should)
F
There’s a whole lotta love in the world
(Sombody needs your help)
E- F G
And anything you can do to make it more
You should
Somebody needs your help
Frack the Dow Jones
Song A Day # 286
First Singing Note: D
[VERSE]
G B-
Show me one man who gives a flying frack about the
C E- D
Dow Jones Industrial
And I'll show you a man who’s a crook, and a liar and
a big asshole

I’ll say congradu-frakin-lautions it's reached 10000
again

Just a year off of when

You brought us to the brink

And meanwhile the jobless rate is growing

And showing no signs of shrinking, or any inclination
to shrink

[PRECHORUS]
C A-
The Dow, it doesn't mean anything
 E- D
You make it seem important but it's not
 C A-
And now I'm sick of the coverage it's still getting
 E- D
All your wheeling dealing betting’s got to stop

[CHORUS]
G
So frack the Dow Jones
Gmaj/F#
And frack the Nasdaq
 C
Let's get back to real wealth
 E- D
We've gotta get back
Oh let's get back to making things
Wet's grow some tomatoes
Placing bets with other's money
Let's face it, it’s gross

[BRIDGE]
G
What the frack are you doing?
 C
You let them get away
 D
They're back up and running
 E-
So now they have to pay
 G
They owe us all this money
 C
You're gonna let them squander it
 D
If it were up to me
 E- D
They'd be wandering in the wilderness

G
If it were up to me
 A-
They'd be strung up by their balls
 C E-
And made to say, "I’m sorry for all the pain that 
 D
I have caused"

If it were up to me

All their money would be taxed

And delivered to the people

In huge glowing Goldman sacks

C E-
But it's not up to me
C G
Obama, lead the way
C E-
All I've got are songs to give you
C D
In which I'd like to say
[CHORUS]
Go frack you Dow Jones
And frack your Nasdaq
Let's get back to real wealth
We've gotta get back
Oh let's get back to making things
Let's grow some tomatoes
Placing bets with other's money
I think that’s pretty gross
Go frack yourself
Asshole
Kickstarter.com
Song A Day # 287
First Singing Note: A
D
You have an idea
 F#- E-
But you don't have a lotta money
Oh no
 A
You have the drive
 D
But you're sorely lacking funds
A
Yes
 D
Maybe you want
 F#- E-
To finally write that novel
 A
Or maybe you're looking
 D D7
To get that album done
 G
Maybe you've written a screenplay
 D
And you're determined to see it filmed
 A
Maybe you love to work with clay
 D D7
But you need to raise money for the kiln
 G
Maybe you want to make a series of paintings
 D
Or study the mating habits of frogs
 A
Maybe you’re looking to start a magazine
 D
Or a rescue shelter for dogs
 F#-
Everyone should find their passion
 E-
And follow it
 A D A
But there can be a barrier, sometimes
D F#- E-
That’s why you should go over to Kickstarter.com
 A D
And get your friends to help you climb, climb, climb
D7
(Get it? Over the financial barrier?)
G
Kickstarter
A- B-
I think you’re really cool
Yes I do
A
Kickstarter
D
An idea whose time has come
I Am Just a Messenger
Song A Day # 306
first singing note: Eb
[intro]
4 bars of Eb
[verse]
Eb Gm/D Cm Bb Ab Bb
I am just a messenger from a town not far from here
Eb Gm/D Cm Abmaj7 
Bearing news of your father's travels
Eb Gm/D Cm Bb Ab Bb
He has crossed the Bandy Bridge, and heads towards Everclear
Eb Gm/D Cm Abmaj7
Just as the sweater on his back unravels
Eb Gm/D Cm Bb Ab Bb
A woman travels with him now who's name I did not get
Eb Gm/D Cm Abmaj7
She has blue eyes and carries a wand
Eb Gm/D Cm Bb Ab Bb
Where she's from, I cannot say for sure and yet
Eb Gm/D Cm Ab 
I think she comes from out beyond

[chorus]
Cm
Do not worry
Gm
And do not cry
Ab
He will return to you
Bb
With a twinkle in his eye
Cm
Come September
Gm
When the ground starts to freeze
Ab
Listen for the whinny of his horse
Bb
On the autumn breeze
[verse 2]
I am just a messenger from a town not far from here
Bearing news of your father's shadow
I caught sight of him one day in June
When the night was cool and clear
Just south I think of Johnson's Meadow 
That woman he was with was there
But she had somehow changed
Her eyes no longer blue, but blacker
As if the sky had filled her eyes
I still don't know her name
I'm a messenger, not a tracker
[chorus 2]
Do not worry
And do not cry
He will return to you 
With a twinkle in his eye
Come September
When the ground starts to freeze
Listen for the whinny of his horse
On the autumn breeze
[verse 3]
I am just a messenger from a town not far from here
Bearing news of your father's ghost
I have only the worst kind of news, I fear, I fear
For your safety the most
I witnessed a scene and I wish I could have known
But there's no way I could've predicted
By the light of a fire the woman had grown
And suddenly they both were afflicted
[chorus 3]
Do not worry
And do not cry
You will return to him 
With a twinkle in your eye
Come September
When the ground starts to freeze
Hear the whinny of your horse
On the autumn breeze
...Just Listen...
(End on Eb)


The Beating of a Single Heart
Song A Day #316
first singing note: F
[intro]
2 bars of F
[verse]
F F/E Dm
You hear it everyday, Sometimes in the subtlest of ways
Bbmaj7 Csus4 C
Sometimes it’s in your face, But nonetheless its there
F F/E Dm
Go back to where u came from They're taking all our jobs
Bbmaj Csus4 C
They should learn to speak English They are lazy foreign slobs
It is fear, that can consume you
Fear That will make you close your eyes
But it is love, that can bloom you
Let you open up to the sun and realize
[chorus]
Bbmaj7 Dm
We are all the same underneath our skin
Am Bbmaj7 C
Same beating hearts, same blood within
Bbmaj7 Dm
And in the future, as we embrace
Bb C F
We'll feel the beating of a single heart of the human race
F - - -
[verse 2]
We are told its not enough, too consume more than our weight in stuff
When things are getting rough we oughta buy more
Make it! Pack it! Ship it!Buy it! Use it! Toss it!
After all isn't that what we're made for?
With no regard, for the impact
Our tireless consumption has
From all the beef to the big smoke stack
Were messing up the only home we have
[chorus 2]
Put down your wallet and go outside
March around Get wide eyed
Cause in the future we'll take care of this place
And the beating of a single heart Of the human race
[guitar solo]
Gm - - -
Dm - - -
Bb - - -
C - - -
[verse 3]
We've heard it all before, there has always been war
From the chimpanzees roar and the rocks he hurled
But we must evolve, and find another way to solve
All the disagreements of this world
[chorus 3]
Well it won't be simple, nothing ever is
But in that complexity is grace
Cause in the future, bound by respect
We’ll feel of the beating of a single heart of the human race
We’ll feel of the beating of a single heart of the human race
Saturday
Song A Day #317
first singing note: G
[verse]
C Dm C Dm C
Saturday I wake up to the woman I love
C Dm C Dm C
Then I get up and put on my little red shorts
[chorus]
Dm G
and I go running In the woods
Dm G
near my house it feels good
Am
to breath that fresh air
G7 - - -
[verse 2]
When I come home I put on my comfy pants
And just cause I feel like it I do a comfy dance
[chorus 2]
Dm G
I chop up some garlic,
Dm G
I grate up some beets
Dm G
And then my hands get all red
Dm G
like I murdered somebody
[bridge]
C F G C
It's time to eat some homemade hummus. some homemade baba ganush
C F G C
Man it sure is yummy, I wish I could share it with you
[verse 3]
Finally I go in my room and shut the door
It’s time to write my song for the day, with me its songs galore
[chorus 3]
Dm G
For the last 315 days
Dm G
I have written as many songs in many ways
Dm G
And I won't stop till I hear the phrase
[outro]
Am G C
Jonathan I'm afraid your dead
Sunday
Song A Day #318
first singing note: B
[intro]
1 bar of Em
[verse]
Em Em
Sunday evening sad slow song
Em Em
Sunday evening sad slow song
B7 Em
Happy as the day is long
(1 bar of Em)
[verse 2]
If you are a planet the day is short
If you are a planet the day is short
If you are a planet the day is like a minute of course
[verse 3]
If you are the universe you are big
If you are the universe you are big
Let's make some tea ill take a swig
[bridge]
Em Em
Planets, galaxies,
B7 Em
the milky way and me
Em Em
Stars, planets,
B7 Em
super nova and me
(1 bar of Em)
[outro]
Em Em
Sunday evening sad slow song
Em B7
Sunday evening sad slow song
B7 Em - - - Em - - -
Happy as the day is long
(end on Em)
A Wonderful Pistachio Discovery
Song A Day #319
first singing note: F#
F# E F#
Prehistoric man
F# E F#
struggled with pistachio
F# E F#
how he tried to open them
F# E F#
nobody really knows
B A B
what we know for sure
B A B
in 1011 AD
F# E F#
a very hairy scientist
F# E F#
made a great discovery
C#
he found that music played loud
B
could break the hardest shroud
F# E F#
of pistachios
(no chord)
thats what he found.
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act One: An Introduction
Song A Day #320(Instrumental)
Fmaj7 - - - G - - -
C - - - Bb - - -
Fmaj7 - - - G - - -
C - - - Bb - - -
Fmaj7 - - - G - - -
C - - - Bb - - -
F - - - C - - -
Dm - - - G - - -
C - - - G - - - (Am, fade-out)
The Story of Wandering Fall: Wandering The Universe
Song A Day #321
first singing note: C
[verse]
C G
It is out there it is feeling
Dm Am G
On the alter of the deep it is kneeling
It exists, it does not
Some phantom of a thought One’s remembered now forgotten
[chorus]
F G Am
Wandering the universe alone
G C
No idea how I got here
F G Am
I am searching for a friend
G C
But will you find one . . .
[outro]
G
Something is approaching
The Story of Wandering Fall: At the Edge of the Universe.
Song A Day #322
first singing note: F#
[verse]
Bm A
Where am I?
F# E
..."At the edge of the universe"
Bm A
after all this time
F# E
..."Time is irrelevant"
[pre-chorus]
C#
Why have u brought me here? "Scatter your words"
D
What's Beyond you? "Nothing at all"
C#
Are you like me? "Don't be absurd"
D E
What do I do now? "Now you fall"
[chorus]
A E D
I fell and I fell for change
D E A
and I thought I would die of pain
A E D
The sound of my voice was strange
[outro]
C#(b5)
I fell back to where I came
The Story of Wandering Fall: And With A Name …
Song A Day #323
first singing note: Bb
[intro]
(mellotron flute/tremolo-guitar)
Eb - Abmaj 7 -
x4
[verse]
Eb Abmaj7
I've got this feeling
That the alter at which I'm kneeling
Cares not about revealing
The truth to me
(drums enter, verse continues)
I know not what my name is
Or if I ever had one
But as I am existing
I need a name
[outro]
Bb Ab Eb
Falling I keep falling my name is Fall
The Story of Wandering Fall: I Am Alone
Song A Day #324
first singing note: G#
[verse]
E
...Is there anybody out there
D
...My name is fall
E
...No need to be scared
D
...I'm not scared at all
[chorus]
A C#m
I wish I had a friend
F#m
To call my own
D A
Only empty space in time
E
I am
D
alone
[outro]
A
...So lonely,
F#m
so so lonely,
D
...So lonely,
E
so so lonely...
A
The Story of Wandering Fall: Contact
Song A Day #325
first singing note: G
[verse]
Gm
As sun
F Gm F
...A direction
Gm
Voices
F Gm F
...upon closer inspection
Gm
What's the matter with you, are you
F Gm F
crazy or something?
Gm F
I don't know whether to thank you, or punch you in the nose
Gm - F -
[chorus]
Am D
I, have a destination
Em
Don't know what I’ll find
D C C D C D G
But I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go now*
[outro]
(guitar solo):
G* - - D
G - - D
G - - D
G - - -
"Lucy, I'm home"
The Story of Wandering Fall: Act 1, Recap
Song A Day #326
first singing note: G
[intro]
2 bars of G
[verse]
G Bm Em D
In the deep dark depths of the vacuum outer space
G Am D
There’s a creature that is wandering all over the place
[prechorus]
G Em Dsus4 C
And doesn't know where he came from
G Em Dsus4 C
And doesn't know where he’s been
[chorus]
G Dsus4 C G
proto-sort of consciousness that lives in the moment
G Dsus4 C G
proto-sort of consciousness that lives in the moment
[post-chorus]
Dsus4 - - -
D - - -
[verse 2[
After a long time wandering
How long we will never know
The creature got as far as he can go
[pre-chorus 2]
At the edge of the universe
his consciousness expands
[chorus 2]
The creature starts to falling and the creature understands
The creature starts to falling and it starts to understand
[post-chorus 2]
[verse 3]
As he becomes aware of his possibilities
And the overwhelming emptiness as far as he can see
[pre-chorus 3]
But he deems himself
all around it big and small
[chorus 3]
The dark he calls space and himself he calls Fall
The dark he calls space and himself he calls Fall
[post-chorus 3]
[verse 4]
Alone with his nannies he found utter loneliness
The desire for a friend and some companionship
[pre-chorus 4]
So he starts to make sounds
He's calling out all directions now
[chorus 4]
And he hears nothing back he starts getting desperate
And he hears nothing back he starts getting desperate
[verse 5]
A day not long from now
Fall will hear an answer back
An old TV program will pierce the black
[pre-chorus 5]
Excited and amazed
he will start heading for it
[chorus 5]
He is not afraid of anything he will start to explore it
He is not afraid of anything he will start to explore it
[post-chorus 5]
end on G
Cold Feet
Song A Day #327
first singing note: F#
[intro]
2 bars of F#
[verse]
F# E B F#
Good socks make for warm feet,
F# E B F#
which are important when it gets cold
G#m F# E
cold
(+Another bar of E)
Put on a sweatshirt relieve off the heat
A little warming will eat your soul
your soul
(+Another bar of E)
[chorus]
C#m A#m
Temperature leaves are falling down,
B
feel the chill in your bones
E
Feel the chill in your feet,
[verse 2]
F# E B F#
slippers are even better
F# E B F#
than socks but can be smelly
F# E B F#
Make sure to not overdo it
F# E B F#
or your feet will smell like helly
[bridge, guitar only]
B - G#m -
E - G#m -
F# - E -
Eadd2- - - - -
[chorus 2]
Temperature leaves are falling down
Feel the chill in your bones
feel the chill in your feet
[verse 3]
Good socks make for warm feet,
which are important when it gets cold
cold
(+Another bar of E)
(end on F#)
Get Your Hand out of the Honey Pot
Song A Day #328
first singing note: D
[intro]
D Bm
A G
x2
[verse]
D Bm A
When you’re wandering the woods
G(maj7) (D) A
holding candles in the night
And the bear picks up your scent
you prepare yourself to fight
[chorus]
D Bm A (G)
Get your hands out of the honey pot
D Bm A
Get your hands out of the honey pot
D Bm A
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Gmaj7 A
Get your hands
[verse 2]
When the clearing appears before you
and the moon is fully filled
It’s a council of the bears,
a mistake will get you killed
[chorus 2]
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Your hands
verse 3]
When a complex carbohydrate
needs a hand in getting eaten
A spoonful of medicine
you become this honey cretin
[chorus 3]
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Get your hands out of the honey pot
Get your hands out of the honey pot
[bridge]
Gmaj
You have this giant primate reign
Bm
But we all can feel the pain
F#m
In the dark it glows, in the moonlight shows
Gmaj7 A
The tree bark stained with blood
[chorus 3]
So get your hands out of the honey pot
So get your hands out of the honey pot
So get your hands out of the honey pot
Oh get your hands out of the honey pot
[outro]
Gmaj7 A D
Oh, get your hands, out of the honey pot
Zombie Turkey
Song A Day #329
first singing note: F#
[intro]
2 bars of Fm
[verse]
F#m F#m/E F#m/D F#m/E
You went to the supermarket, got your turkey wrapped in plastic
You cooked it in the oven just right should come out fantastic
The whole family’s coming over you put on your evening gown
But creeping up behind you all moist and golden brown
[pre-chorus]
C#7
Its the zombie turkey
C#7
She's coming to pay you back
[chorus]
F#m F#m/E F#m/D F#m/E
...Zombie turkey
...Zombie turkey
...Zombie turkey
...Zombie turkey
[verse 2]
Well you run up the stairs to the bathroom and lock the door
You can hear her bony legs down there banging on the floor
She is coming ever closer and now you look out the window
And see an entire neighborhood overrun by zombie turkeys
[pre-chorus 2]
They are zombie turkeys and they are
coming to pay you back
[chorus 2]
Zombie turkeys
Zombie turkeys
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
[verse 3]
She's banging down the door now looks like there's no escape You know you can't outrun her because your fat and out of shape
If only you ate less and exercised more you would be thinner
What a terrible way to go, to be eaten by your dinner
[pre-chorus 3]
By a zombie turkey who is
coming to pay you back
[chorus 3]
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
Gobble gobble gobble
(end on F#m)
Dancing Fin
Song A Day #330
first singing note: G
[intro]
2 bars of Bb
[verse]
Bb Bb
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Bb F
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Bb
He is a dancing Fin, he gets stuck near the
Eb
table, he's a fin, he's a
Bb F
dancing fin, a dancing, dancing
Bb
Fin
[verse 2]
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Fin the dancing Fin, and he
falls down and he's sleeping, cause
he's fin, he's a dancing, dancing
Fin
[chorus]
Gm D
Then he gets up and he jumps around
Eb
and he jumps some more
F
And his pants fall down
Gm D
He's a dancing, he's a dancing Fin
Eb F
He likes to jump around till he falls
Bb
down
[verse 3]
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Fin Fin Fin the dancing Fin
Dancing all around cause he's a
dancing Fin, he dance around
Dance all around cause he's a dancing
Fin
The Best Day of My Life Pt. 1: I Choked on Some Words and Was Married
Song A Day #331
first singing note: A
[verse]
F
There’s a fire in the sky
Bbsus2/C
A tower made of clouds
Bb
And it power rings out over cre-
F
-ation
F
Meanwhile on the ground
Bsus2/C
The waves of frozen sound
Bb
Break upon the backs of stale frus-
F
-tration
Bsus2
Citizens wake up with the sen-
F
-sation
C - - -
Rub their eyes
Csus4 - C
[verse 2]
No melody or words could have
cut quite like the sword
Swung by the hand of evo-
-lution
To live and grow and die
without ever knowing why
Knowing how to ask but finding no so-
-lution
Finally calling it divine retri-
-bution
Cut the chords
[chorus]
Bbsus2
We’re not abandoned,
F
we are abandoning
Bbsus2
Before we learn to talk,
F
we had to learn to sing
Bbsus2
Without a plan,
F
we can't demand a thing,
C
we can't demand a thing
Csus4 - C
[verse 3]
I was on my way to school and
I saw her cross the street
Her powers sent out waves upon the pave-
-ment
I pulled over then and there because
I had to catch my breath
And stare in this delicate amaze-
-ment
I felt utterly exposed, stripped na-
-ked
to the bone
[verse 4]
When she came up to the car and asked
do you know where we are
I couldn't tell if she was serious or
joking
I tried to say yes,
and “Planet Earth, I guess”
But the sounds out of my mouth were more like cho-
-king
In the distance some peeper frogs were croak-
-ing
To the moon
[chorus 2]
We were married,
It was the first of May
And I carried her and she carried me the
entire way
It was scary, but it was
the best day of my life
[outro]
(2 bars of F)
she's taking her first steps
First singing note: G
{Intro, based on Chorus}
Eb – Fm – Eb – Fm – Bb7
{Chorus}
Eb Fm7 Bb7
she's taking her first steps (3x), Oh
{Verse}
G7
the things we do that we take for granted

Ab Eb
become miracles with her

Bb7
everything that she is now 

Ab
is all that we all once were


{Chorus}
Eb Fm7 Bb7
she's taking her first steps (3x), Oh
{Verse}
G7
i hold my breath with each foot falling

Ab Eb
as she concentrates

Bb7
you can hear her mind a whirring 

Ab
see the joy that's in her face


{Chorus}
Eb Fm7 Bb7
she's taking her first steps (3x), Oh
TSOWF
First singing note: F (on ‘story’)
{Intro}
Db
{Verse}
Db Gb
The story of wandering fall

Db Gb
I know you might not get it at all

Bbm
But it may help if you go to
Ab Gb Ab Gb
t s o w f dot Tumbler dot com. That’s T s o w f tumblr dot com
{Verse 2}
Db Gb
I made a little page for it
Db Gb
Where I explained it a bit
Gb
So when you see scene 3 act 3
Ab 
you're not confused
Gb
though it may make no sense to you
Ab Gb
And the songs are too short and you want to say boo

{Verse 3)

 Db Gb
just bear with me it's an experiment
Db Gb
cause i'll be without internet
Bbm Ab
for the next ten days i'll be out of the country yeah
Gb
on in a trip into the wilderness oooh

Ab Gb Ab Gb
t s o w f dot Tumbler dot com. That’s T s o w f tumblr dot com
Ab Gb
check it out and let me know what you think

it's snow out side and i've gotta catch a flight
Gb Ab Gb
i'll see you on the 14th or so
Ab Db
love jonathann
The Story of Wandering Fall act ii scene 3
First note: A
{Intro, based on ‘verse’ form}
F Bbmaj7 F C7 F
{VERSE 1)
F
I float in you
Bbmaj7
And your creatures sing
F
Can you be my friend?
C7 F
Can you carry the whole thing?
{VERSE 2)
F
My name is Fall
Bbmaj7
How do I call you?
F C7
And your creatures too
F
With their tiny wings
F
Their tiny wings
#370 act ii scene 4 Little Masters of Time
first note of back-up: A, first note of verse: F
{Intro} Chorus chords
F Dm C Bb
{verse}
F Dm Bb C F
Oh, oh, tiny little masters of time
Dm Bb C F
Oh, oh, look how they reflectively shine
Dm Bb C F
Oh, oh, they go where they are blown off to
Dm Bb C F
Oh, oh, do they have a hand to offer you?
{Chorus}
F Dm C Bb
Tiny little masters of time, little masters of time x2
F Dm C Bb
If you offer your hand I will offer you mine
F Dm C Bb
Tiny little masters of time, little masters of time
371 – Act ii scene 5, mostly water
first note: E
{intro, w/bass line}
C Am G F
{verse}
C C6
These are wholly different
G F
They’re mostly water
C C6
Smaller than the monsters
G F
And drier than the tiny wings
C C6
Seems like they have free will
G F
As least as much as I have
C C6
But they don’t seem to see me
G F
I must get their attention
#372 act iii scene 1 – hey I’m over here
First note: Bb
{INTRO}
Bb
Bb F C A
{CHORUS}
Bb F
Hey, hey, over here Hey, hey, over here
C A
Hey, hey, over here Can’t you see that I’m over here?
{VERSE)
Bb F
I am over here
C
And you are oh so close
A Bb
I can reach out and touch you if I could
F
But I can’t
C A
Why are we on two planes of existence?
{CHORUS}
Bb F
Hey, hey, over here Hey, hey, over here
C A
Hey, hey, over here Can’t you see I’m over here?
373 – act iii Scene 2 – Fall Suburbia
First Note: F#
{intro}
D A
{Verse 1}
D A
Rows and rows of houses
D G
As far as I can see
Bm A
I dream of open space
D A D
Where I can be free
{Verse 2}
D D
I’ve been wandering so long
D G
How long, nobody knows
Bm A
I wish only for a friend
D A
To come with to me when I go
D A
Don’t be afraid
D
Where did you come from?
A D
Outer space
374 – act iii scene 3, we are friends
First Note: A
{No intro}
{VERSE}
A F#m A F#m
You, me have so much to see
F#m A
So much to see
Ffm E
So much to be
A
Take a fine
Up, down
Over and all around
Show me how it works x2
F#m
I want to go to the edge of the universe
E
I want to know exactly what a cow is
{CHORUS}
A E D
Friends, friends, we are friends
F3m E A
Oh, friends, we are friends
E D F#m
Friends, oh, friends, we are friends
E
Friends
375 act iii scene 4 – On Cows
First note: B
{no intro}
G
Cows are really big animals
A7
They are herbivores
D G
They’ve been domesticated since 2500 BC
G
They sound like this, “Moo!”
A7
They have hooves on their feet
D
A lot of people eat their meat
G
But not me!
376 act iii scene 5, Wandering Together
{Instrumental}
C Bb F (4x) (4th time, chords are twice as fast)
My name is Ben!
And I’m Jerry!
And we make ice cream
No, we’re not cows, these are just our avatars
Today we find ourselves up on this movie screen to say
“if you like ice cream, you should really try ours”
it’s got more chunks!
CHUNKS!
Swirls!
SWIRLS!
Than you have ever seen
Each bite is so different your head just might explode
If there’s one thing, well, we know ice cream
We’re crusading for a chunk-filled Canada
Ebmaj Cmin Abmaj Ebmaj
I guess my immune system is shot
I feel another cold coming on
Ready or not
So I’m gonna juice an onion, some ginger and garlic
Try to kill this bug before it makes me sick
Bbmaj
My immune seems to be dead
I just feel like crawling back into bed
So I’m gonna juice an onion, some ginger and garlic
Try to kill this bug before it makes me sick
F#maj Bmaj
Bird sitting on a cactus
Bird flying through the sky
Flying over the desert
Flying near a rock
G#min C#maj
And the owl in the tree
With the sharp claws
“I Can catch little rodents today”
They’re birds of prey
They got the little ones
And it’s a bald eagle
Feeding the little ones,
Feeding the little ones
And they sit there
And they’re waiting to be fed
And the barn owl
Sways to and fro
And he stands in a hole
C#maj
And this is where they live, yeah
Look at the rivers like veins
Isn’t this an idyllic scene? Oh..
All the trees and the barn owl
Looks to the left, looks to the right
And he sways back and forth
And he’s surveying the land
And he’s looking for something to eat
With the sharp eyes
And the sharp beaks
And the sharp claws
They catch the little mouse
They catch the little mouse, whoa
Checking for ticks
Looking at ears
Checking for feathers,
Checking for feathers,
Tapered feathers
Caught the mouse in her mouth, oh
Gonna eat it
feed it to her little chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky chick, chick-a yeah
whoa, yawn pussy’s tired
they got the swayin back and forth now
they were born with it, yeah
the white, the white ,the little white chickies and the
the white, the white the little white chickies and the
(baby owl sounds)
learnin to fly now
to fly now
movin the head
movin the head
like this
like this
oooooo
Dmaj Amaj Emaj F#min
A John Sutherland production
Look at all these people,
They’re scrolling over an American flag
These two guys are dancing in the shop
Dancing in the malt shop
Backwords malt shop,
This guy’s sleeping on a porch
Spitting something out
He’s got the red shorts on
He’s sitting in church, he’s got the long white beard
Playing golf
Wiggle, wiggle, yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, angry
Wiggle, wiggle, hit the tree
Sitting around, smoking a, smoking a, smoking a,
Sitting around, raising my hand
I’m in school and I’m jackhammering on a building
I don’t need insurance
Im hitting you over the head
I’m pointing over there, I’m hitting you over the head
Hard labor, hit my chin
The cops are angry cus I hit my chin
No, officer
She was just sitting there, like a scene from Basic Instinct
This guy is really full, he’s really full, he’s full, he burps, he’s full
The ballot box is locked, the ballot box, the church,
The church is full of people
The Statue of Liberty, of Liberty for all
He’s got a red shirt on, maybe he’s a Communist
This guy is like the guy, the Monopoly guy
He’s a Puritan, He’s a Puritan
He’s a Puri- Puri- Puritan
He’s a Puritan
He’s a Puritan
He’s a Puri- Puri-tan
He’s a farmer
He’s got a farmer hat,
And he’s got a farmer pipe
And they’re arguing, “no, I want it this way!”
“no, I want it that way”
what you got to sell me, man?
You’re much taller than all of us, man
So we’ll listen to you
Cus you got something to say
Meanwhile, the bums sleeping on the (couch)
Bum sleeping on the bench
He’s waking up
To ISM for Labor, he’s waking up
To ISM for Labor, he’s waking up
ISM for Management, he’s waking up
ISM, it makes him smile
ISM for farmers, ISM for everyone
I don’t know what ISM is, no I don’t know
I don’t know what ISM is, no
But it can’t be good, because this guy is clearly evil
He’s got a big bowtie
He’s clearly evil
He’s got a little moustache, moustache
He’s got a little, Dr. Utopia’s ISM
Moustache, moustache, moustache
He’s got an evil moustache
Makes the cow, makes the bull
Say “yeah”
Everybody cheers
The bum comes up with the umbrella, says
“hey man, whatcha doin?”
“hey, hey man, whatcha doin?”
“well, I got the ISM for labor and everybody, it’s Utopia”
but this guy won’t be fooled
naw, he’s got the discerning eye
he’s not going to be fooled by no ISM bullshit
but meanwhile these guys are yelling, but he’s like
“no, no! this ain’t right. Your figures are all screwed up. What are you doing trying to sell this to these people?”
“well, you just take your anger and bring it somewhere else”
“I will not bring it somewhere else. I happen to be a very educated bum sleeping on the bench, and I know exactly what I’m…”
“well, well I’m angry about that”
Joe Doakes Stable, Stable
Just sitting there,
I’m tired so this is the end
No words
Dmaj Amaj
Dmaj Cmaj Amaj
Dmaj Bmin Emin Amaj
Dmaj
I drive a slow and wary train
Fmaj Dmaj
one that makes a lot of stops
Dmaj D7
the passengers are nervous
Gmaj Amaj
they fiddle with their props
they've decided not to move
but to sit and watch the crops
Bmin Amaj
pass like silent gold
if my train had a wish
he'd wish that he were longer
that the will to explore new places
was strong and getting stronger
that his curiosity
didn't feel so wrong or
that he didn't feel so old

F#7
up and down the train yard
Bmin
everybody says
Gmaj
the days on the other side
Amaj
are the better days
but i don't know
i think i'll go my route
Gmaj Amaj Dmaj
and see if i find out

in Poughkeepie we took a bum
in queens we got a king
it's all the same to me
it doesn't mean a thing
if you've got the strength to stand
you've got the heart to sing
with a voice proud or meek
there's a missing link in ohai
and a track unlaid in Dale
i'll ride down to the ocean
and in the belly of a whale
i'll take this train to hell 
and i'll bring it back rail by rail
i'd do it even though i'm weak

up and down the train yard
everybody says
the days on the other side
are the better days
but i don't know
i think i'll go my route
and see if i find out
and see if i find out
Emin
I don't remember if i did or i didn't 
Amin
i can't recall if it was or it wasn't
Emin
i can't recollect if i should or i shouldn't
Bmaj Amin
i forget if it is or it isn't

i've got no memory of the place or the time
i won't have dreams about the how and the why
i have misplaced the who and the what
i'm missing the details

i'm not sure it matters just what i saw
it makes no difference the things that i smelled
who cares about what i touched
who knows what i heard
Cmaj Gmaj
when you live on your email
Amin Fmaj
you send 100s of emails a day
you need tools at your disposal
to help you say what you're trying to say
Bbmaj Fmaj
to help you say it to who you're trying to say it to

right now all you got is to
cc and bcc
but what if you're writing to a group
and you want to write something
that only one of the group can see

BCC THIS, BCC THIS
F Ab C
Well, well, well
God is in the garden
F Ab Bb
Well, well, well
Garden, ooooh
Well, well, well
God is in the garden x2
He ain’t going away
He ain’t going, ain’t going away
Well, well, well
Cain is in the field
Well, well, well
Field, ooooh
Well, well, well
Cain is in the field x2
He ain’t going away
He ain’t going, ain’t going away
Well, well, well
Sodom and Gomorrah
Well, well, well
Gomorrah, ooooh
Well, well, well
Sodom and Gomorrah x2
He ain’t going away
He ain’t going, ain’t going away
Well, well, well
Jacob and Rebekah
Well, well, well
Rebekah, ooooh
Well, well, well
Jacob and Rebekah x2
They ain’t going away
They ain’t going, ain’t going away
Well, well, well
Jesus on the cross
Well, well, well
Jesus, oooh
Well, well, well
Jesus on the cross x2
He ain’t going away
He ain’t going, ain’t going away
Well, well, well
Adam in the garden
Well, well, well
Eve, ooooh
Well, well, well
Adam in the garden x2
He ain’t going away
He ain’t going, ain’t going away
Emaj
I was a dancing bear
Amaj Emaj
I don’t dance no more
Amaj
I was a dancing bear
Emaj Bmaj
I don’t dance no more
I was a dancing bera
I don’t dance no more
Bmaj Amaj
Tra la li, tra la le, tra la la
I was a thieving hawk
I don’t thieve no more
I was a thieving hawk
I don’t thieve no more
I was a thieving hawk
But, I don’t thieve no more
Tra la li, tra la le, tra la la
I was a dancing hippo
I don’t dance no more
I was a dancing hippo
I don’t dance no more
I was a dancing hippo
I don’t dance no more
Tra la li, tra la le, tra la la
Tra la looooooh
I was a butterfly
I don’t fly no more
I was a butterfly
I don’t fly no more
Well, I was a butterfly
Milk and sugar and take my eye
I don’t fly, fly, fly no more
I was a caterpillar
I don’t catter no more
I was a caterpillar
I don’t pillar no more
I was a caterpillar
Turn her right
Turn her filler
I don’t caterpillar
Tra la loooooooh x2
I was a hummingbird
I don’t hum no more
I was a hummingbird
I don’t hum no more
I was a hummingbird
Humming without a word
Ah, tra la li, tra la la
I was a giraffe, kaput
I don’t giraffe no more
I was a giraffe, kaput
I don’t kaput no more
I was a giraffe once
I took my time then
Ah, tra la le, tra la la
Tra la loooooh x3
I was a dancing bear
I don’t dance no more
I was a dancing bear
I don’t dance no more
I was a dancing bear
Put her here
Put her there
I don’t dance
Tra la la la le
I don’t dance
Tra la la la le
Tra la la la la
Emaj Dmaj
the legend of jonathan
Emaj Dmaj Amaj Bmaj
writing songs and saving the princess
doing stuff and dancing around
less is more and more is less

Cmaj Bmaj

the legend of jonathan
racing through until the end
get to the end and then begin
the legend of jonathan
Gmaj
dancing
Cmaj
dancing in 
Gmaj Dmaj Gmaj
dancing in the round
flying
flying through
flying through the clouds

Cmaj Gmaj
holding my breath underwater
Dmaj Gmaj
passing a hand through the flame
nothing else really matters
so different and yet so the same 

sailing on seas cold and stormy
landing on beaches of gold
discussing with natives the plant life
hearing the stories of old
Amaj Bmin
deep in the Appalachian mountains
Dmaj Emaj
forged in the fires fed by coal
trained by the light of the fairy fountain
he'll never give up till he's reached his goal
F#min Dmaj
robot ninja zombie bear
fighting for freedom everywhere
evil better say a prayer
Emaj
he's the robot ninja zombie bear

from the streets of new york all the way to london
he keeps us safe from terrorists
with claws and teeth and throwing stars and
a thirst for brains that will not quit
robot ninja zombie bear
he cannot die, he's already there
evildoers had better beware
he's the robot ninja zombie bear

Amaj Dmaj F#min Emaj
his software was designed by google eningeers 
jony ive cut his exteriror from a single piece of aluminum 
Chuck Norris showed him how to be a ninja
Dmaj Emaj
no one knows how he gained his zombie powers

fueled by salmon and organic honey
with a direct line to the president 
his fu is strong his scabs are runny
when trouble calls he's on the scent

look, up in the air
is that a bird or a solar flare?
it's got 10 limbs and's shaped like a pear
robot ninja zombie bear
Emin Gmaj Amaj
there's a lion on the prowl
this thing is staring at us
this ostrich is blocking the road
rhinos staying out of the rain
Bmaj
zebras!!!
giraffes!!!!
wildebeasts!
long horns!!

there's a lion growling
this thing runs the other way
ostrich says you shall not pass
rhinos seem like dinoaurs
zebras!!!
giraffes!!!!
wildebeasts!
long horns!!
Gmaj
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
Cmaj
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Dmaj
Bringing
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
Gmaj Amin Bmin Dmaj
Singing in the wind, ohhhh x2
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
This is what it’s like when you’re singing
Bringing
Singing in the wind, ohhhh x2
Gmaj
Wake up on the east coast
Dmaj
Gonna sleep on the left coast
Amin
Let’s flip the map over
Ebmaj Fmaj
Then it’s just the west coast
My time is a marvel
Magic at every turn
Magic in the sky planes
And a lack of concern
Wake up on one coast
Go to sleep on the airport
15 airports, airports bringing me further
Gmaj Dmaj Amin Ebmaj Fmaj
Airports, bringing me further away
Airports make me further away
Dmaj D7 Gmaj Dmaj
kate mginnty you dance so well
Dmaj D7
i know i've never seen you dance
Gmaj Amaj
but i can tell, i can tell
Emin Amaj
i liked you right away when i met you
no one that meets you will ever forget you

kate mginnty means smoking hot redhead 
you're really good at naming things, that's what ivory said
you've got a cat named julius, and he is orange
and it was 30 years ago that you were born

Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
happy birthday bumble girl bumble bee
kate mginity
Cmaj Amaj
when you're in the hospital 
Gmaj Emin Dmaj
i wish that i could be there with you
Cmaj Gmaj
i know it hurts and i want to 
Fmaj Emin
take away your pain
listen to the sound of my voice
and melt into the way you are

F#min C#7 Dmaj Emaj
i know you will heal quickly
it'll take more than this to stop you
Amaj Cmaj Gmaj Dmaj
love is coming your way
love is coming your way

you have lived your life so full
appreciating each day as new
i'd be lucky to live as much as you
when you get out of the hospital
the days will come and go again
you live them now and you'll live them then
Amaj Emaj
You could hit your hand with a hammer
Amaj Dmaj
Or fall off of your scooter
Amaj
You could also fall off of the roof
Dmaj Emaj
Or be attacked by a sentient computer
F#min
Burning stabbing tripping playing
Dmaj Emaj
A spider bite to the face
By the laws of physics we're all obeying
the world's a dangerous place

There are many different ways to be injured
And as many ways to get sick
Insurance companies drag their heels
When you need money quick
Cmaj Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj
deep in the forest lives a man in a robe
Cmaj Fmaj Amin Gmaj
i'm not sure just who he is
and where he's from nobody knows
he's looking for himself
and when he finds him
that's when he's gonna shout
i've made the connection!
Emin Dmin
Don’t get angry x2
Cmin Dmin
Produced by Encyclo-Britannica Films, yeah
Oh man, I’m pulling this rope
And I’m so pissed off I could just scream at you
We look like little babushkas
We’re so angry
Man, I’m frustrated that this propeller doesn’t turn
Cmin Fmin
I’m mad on the phone
Fmin
I’m ripping things up
Gmaj
And I’m throwing things on the floor
Amin
And I’m sobbing in the chair
Gmaj
And I’m really, really angry
Fmaj
I’m writing things down
I’m super, super pissed
I’m gonna break the pencil
Throw it down
Cmin
I’m gonna cry, cry, cry ,cry
Cuz things aren’t going my way
I’ve got these pretty bangs
But things aren’t going my way
So I’m gonna cry
I’m gonna cry on the table like a sad person does
Here’s another way you can do it
You can skip, skip, skip, yeah
Skip, skip the rope
Double dutch, double dutch
I’m yelling again
But look, everything’s okay
No, it’s not okay
Things are so bad
Because I’m yelling
No, you listen to me
Things are just fine
If you would just calm down
Okay, I’m still pulling the rope
I’m angry, I’m angry
Why don’t you listen to me?
No, look, the two of us, we’re saying that things are okay
You don’t gotta walk away
Now we can’t skip rope anymore
Why’d you walk away? X2
I cried cuz the magazines are sad
Nothing looks good
I’m gonna eat chocolates from this box of chocolates
Ugh, it tastes disgusting
I’m gonna try to read a book
God this is boring
I’m so damn bored
I came in from outside where they were mean to me
Now I’m gonna be mean to you
Get outta here, I’m gonna throw this book
No!
You can’t throw that book
She was gonna throw the book at me
Yeah, yeah, it’s really mean
Look, kids, everything’s okay
Don’t be sad
I know your hormonal teenager hormones are raging
But just settle down, okay?
But she gets to do everything and I’m stuck here
And I’m just so angry about…
No, it’s okay
Look, you guys can make up
Me and my dad
Or my friend, I can’t tell
Building model planes
We’re doing pretty well
No, here, that’s not how you do it
This is how you do it
Ah, I’m putting my hands on my hips to show that I’m not really sure what’s going on
Here comes my friend with a baseball, softball
And a baseball, softball bat
I’m saying, this is how you handle things, man
I’m older than you, listen to what I’m saying
You gotta be gentle with it
But what if, I don’t gotta be gentle with shit
This is my stuff, shutup
No, see, like this?
No, I’m angry
I’m gonna put on my hat
Grab my jacket
I just went to get some water
Doesn’t even taste very good
God damn
C#maj G#maj E#min D#maj
Put your sunglasses on
Now we’re rocking out in style
Put your sunglasses
Then we’re rocking out, we’re rocking out in style
Zach and Chloe live together in Alabama
Zach and Chloe are students
They’re students full time
But sometimes at night they like to let it down a bit
And put on their dark sunglasses at night
Their dark sunglasses at night
And then they rock x2
Yeah, they rock
Oh, they rock
Okay, Zach and Chloe are the best of friends
Zach and Chloe will be that way until the very end
By day they are students doing all the things that students do
But at night they like to let it down a bit
And go crazy, ooooh, oohhh
That’s when they rock
That’s when they roll
That’s when they rock
They don’t wanna be in school all the time
Don’t wanna be in school all the time
Sometimes they wanna rock
They rock, they rock, they rock and roll, and rock and roll x4
Zach and Chloe are the best of friends
F#maj Bmaj
Sometimes when you’re bored
F#maj C#maj
The best thing to do is listen to some music
Let me sing to you
Bmaj F#maj
La di da, la di do x3
F#maj Bmaj
Sometimes when you’re tired
F#maj Bmaj
And you wanna go to sleep
C#maj Bmaj
You listen to some music and let the music seep into your bones
Seep into your bones
La di da, la di do x3
Man with the mustache leaning on his hand
He doesn’t have anything else planned
He’s just sitting on ChatRoulette
Almost asleep
But he’s gonna let the music seep into his bones
I said let the music seep into his bones
La di da, la di do x3
Sometimes after a long day at work…
And then he disconnected
in the land of chat roulette 
anonymity is king
and a meaningful interaction
doesn't mean a thing

Cmaj
in the land of chat roulette
you never know what you're gonna get
Gmaj
penises or little kids
Fmaj
they're giving you the middle finger
in the land of chat roulette
it'll drive you nuts if you let it
so far away they seem so close
are they real or are they ghosts

Cmaj
round and round we go
Gmaj Amin
where it stops no one knows
every single
till we've met the world

in the land o/f chatroulette
somethings you see while make you sweat
people nice and people mean
and people just want to be seen
in the land of chat roulette
a girl with a cigarette
nothing more than silhouettes
giving you the middle finger

down the rabbit hole
where you bear your soul
ghost in the machine
people want to be seen

Emin Amin
no one can escape from
Gmaj Fmaj
the singularity
i will be you
and you will be me

on the other side of the tv set
we're all stars on chat roulette
there's no mods theres no rules
just signs that say show me your boobs
in the land of chat roulette
it's feels scary there's no threat
people bored and people trying
to find something they'll never find
Emaj Bmaj
sometimes when i'm feeling sad
C#min Amaj
i think about all the friends i've had
what's the life you choose? 
what's the life you lose?
what's the life you find?
what do you leave behind

Emaj Bmaj Amaj G#min

city living is like msg
i eat a lot but i'm still hungry
apple blossoms on my street
but they don't smell quite as sweet
lying in the grass
i hear cars driving past

you're the most important thing
you are the reason i sing
front and center i want you near
even when you're out of here
what's the life you choose
what's the life you lose

turn a corner at 28
hold her steady you're doing great
the path was curved but now it's straight
what have you got to lose?
what's the iife you've found
it's never too late turn around
Bmaj Amaj Emaj
Where can i find information on government grants?
where can i find information on government jobs?

C#min Bmaj
if it's got to do with the government
Amaj Emaj
then look and sure enough

where can a parent find childcare information for her child

where can a student find a student loan?

if you're looking for childcare
or want to register to vote
there's a website you will love
USA.gov
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
einstein was convinced we blow our selves up
i'm trying' to think of ways to prove him wrong
culture ain't static 
and also ain't automatic
and if violence is innate 
then human to human
we gotta change what we're doing
and we must create
a culture of peace

but you know that's hard
when we're fighting two wars
that's hard when so much money is made on wars
most of my taxes
go to defenses but if it went instead to schools
the cycle is broken
and then we are open
to entirely new sets of rules

fear can 
be disguised as many things
even a patriotic eagle spreading her wings
if we shut down the borders
then we say other cultures
are something to be feared
and we invite the destruction
of anyone that is different
that seems to be strange or weird
Cmaj Amin Cmaj Gmaj
The internet defines epic
As very imposing or impressive
Surpassing the ordinary
Especially in size or scale
Gmaj Fmaj
I’ve been writing a song a day
Amin Gmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Since the first of January, 2009
And so that’s epic
In both size and scale
Well over 400 songs
Well over 400 days
I’ll write you a song
Amaj Emaj
Ha, ha, ha very funny she said
G#7 C#min
When the truth finally came to light
Sure, I’ll be your April Fool
Just don’t ask me to spend the night
Bark, bark, bark said the beagle at dawn
As the garbage man’s truck drove by
You will never escape my arms
So it’s useless to even try
Emaj F#7 Amaj Emaj B7
Thump, thump, thump my heart steady and strong
The crease of your hip reveals
No man is an island
But only as long as he admits just how he feels
Knock, knock, knock the door opens
And there bearing cats upon her neck
A fairy godmother with bright silver hair
No more or less than what he’d expect
Dark, dark, dark are the shadows that fall
Before the rain that keeps us ???
Seagulls flying far from the sea
And still we envy them
Down, down, down the sunshine falls
And the seagulls all go home
As long as you and I, we have each other
We’ll never be alone
Fmaj
hey you
Amin
you who watch me everyday
Gmin
hello hello
Dmin Cmaj
i don't know your name

but i'd like to
that is what i'd like to do
you watch me sing
i want to get to know you

Fmaj
i'd like to come to where you live
Gmin Fmaj
and sing what you want to hear
you could show me around your town
i'm totally sincere

this songs for you
you who watch me everyday
please email me
so i can know your name
email me
my emails on the screen
if you do
i'll come to see you hopefully

fun fun fun 
we'll have
fun fun fun
we'l have 
fun fun fun-
Dmaj Cmaj
I am am curious
Gmaj Amaj
and growing curious-er
you watch me every day
about who you are

Bmin Amaj Gmaj Dmaj
yesterday i asked you to send me an email
Gmaj Amaj
so far 20 of you have

but 169 people have watched yesterday's video
so who are the other 148 
you know that i love you
i am growing curious-er
please send me an email 
that would be great

Bmin
Robert M.
Amaj
Stuart
Gmaj
Eric F.
Dmaj
Patrick B
Brian W
Paul K
Alijah Cory
Mark
Sean B. 
Nicholas
NIck S
Robert K
Greg S
Peter
David s. 
Chuck
Nick G
Justin B. 
Joe C
Peter G
Mark T
Cmaj Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj
time moves only one direction
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
how fast is up to you
time flies then hangs
on my body like an ill fitting suit

Fmaj
my suit made of time like a melting dali
Gmaj
i fly through the air a bird dangerous and free

time stops on the edge of a black hole
the higgs boson and the collider yeah
but no no that's not how it goes
the higgs boson is just a shy little guy

my suit made of time not a place or a thing
the dripping of a faucet made of little gold rings

i used to have a fantasy that i 
could stop time and do what i want
i'd touch you in the blink of an eye
and we'd make out to an endless dawn

to see you naked was another fantasy
stop time tear your clothes off so only i could see
Cmin
When we all lay down our heads
Fmin
And made our many journeys
Cmin
Do we all lay down our heads
G7
And rest on penguin gurneys?
NO!
We set up the PA system
Just plug in the penguin ???
When our penguin work is done
We break ???
Cmin Fmin Cmin
We’re penguins, we’re having a party x2
???
Don’t be shy, don’t be late
We may be birds but we can’t fly
???
???
I’m gonna dance to the rhythm of the sea
Well I’m gonna dance with the rhythm of the storm
??? Global Warming!
We’re penguins, we’re having a party x2
Let’s have a penguin party
Penguin party x1 Jillion
We’re penguins, we’re having a party x1 Jillion
Fmaj
running around with friends
Dmin
trying to get in shape
Cmaj
you've lost forty pounds
Amin
now you need to lose forty more

Fmaj
just a pudgy white guy trying to stay away
Dmin
from papaguyohs and king buffet
Fmaj
29 years old single and gay
Cmaj
and friends who love him like his best friend candy
Bbmaj Fmaj
who won the great steak race

travis is working you hard
he's a pain in your ass
but if you listen to him
you'll get thin fast

geocacheing in the woods at night
scraping your arm getting quite a fright
taking care of yourself, you're doing it right
your friends will cheer you on with sheer delight
they'll say go jason go

no tea, no soda, no milk, no juice. only water

jason lift those weights
get to your goal
burn down the king buffet
reclaim your soul! 

candy and adam mike karen an ken
they're all rooting for you to win
miranda moma l karen r danielle
barbera angela leslie jennifer your sister says
go pudgy go pudgy
Emin Gmaj
chris and roy are occasional lovers
Dmaj Bmaj
and the best of friends
their lives are made up of duplicate days
a hazy parade that never ends
one night in a sleazy new york bar
they make a pact to become more than they are
they take a stand
they form a band
and the world comes calling
london moscow
berlin tokyo 

one night their friendship is put to the test
Chris sits all alone
Roy has fallen for a beautiful android
her name is indigo 
months go by and Chris is fed up
he goes back to new york his heart heavy with love
Indigo and roy
have a baby boy
and the world stops calling
chris sits 
sips his
brandy and stares at the sky
Cmaj Gmaj
Hello, this isn’t a commercial
Bbmaj Fmaj
It’s just me singing (It’s just him singing!)
Amin
About plastic
Emin
Maybe you know it’s bad
Amin Gmaj
You may know plastic bags never decompose
Cmaj Gmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Witness these Sunchips in the world’s first compostable bag
They make me wanna reuse and compost and turn down the thermostat
Oh, they make me wanna dance
Oh yeah!
Fmaj
it's my birthday 
Bbmaj
yo i'm 28 
things are going well
i'm feeling great
i looked like a spider
monkey when i was born
now listen to some midi horns 

yo it's my birthday
1982 
i was born on back then
and then i grew
that's what people do
they're born they grow
and then they die
Gmaj Cmaj Dmaj Gmaj
Going to camp at the hot springs, yeah x3
Cmaj Dmaj Gmaj
Too a lolly, too a lolly, bay
Going to sit in the hot springs, yeah
Cuz it’s my birthday weekend, yeah
And I can do whatever I want
Too a lolly, too a lolly, bay
Ivory’s gonna come with me, yeah x3
Too a lolly, too a lolly, too a lolly, bay
We’re gonna hot spring and dance around x3
Too a lolly, too a lolly, bay
Hot springs in the rain feel good
Hot springs in the rain feel like they should
Hot springs in the rain feel reel good
Too a lolly, too a lolly, bay x2
Amaj Bmin C#min Bmin
i'm sleepy but i'm not sleeping yet
don't let sleep ensnare you in it's net
sleep is a square is a dodecahedron
 Amaj Dmaj Emaj Amaj
sleep comes slowly when your sleeping for your freedom

Dmaj Emaj
mister day light crawls on by
F#min Emaj Dmaj
as the rain clears from the sky
butterflies and rose hips bloom
i look out from my room

F#min Dmaj F#min Dmaj
disaster strikes the yellow twilight 
Emaj Amaj
gleaming in the night the night night
Emaj
stop sign red from blushing so
Dmaj
watch the cars just go just go
Dmaj D#dim
Look at this car pulling out onto the street
Emin Amaj
Turning heads wherever it goes
Imagine all the people
People you’ll meet
Dmaj Emin Gmaj Amaj
Good looking people who care about the environment x3
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
standing cat you've got a lot of nerve
Dmin Gmaj
to defy the law of gravity
the punishment is fame on the internet
Emin Dmin Gmaj
which is to say a step up from obscurity 
Cmaj Fmaj Cmaj Fmaj
you join the ranks of many famous cats
Amin Gmaj
some well known and others nameless pawns
garfield and keyboard and maru jumps in boxes
you're big today but can you make it last

standing cat don't eat my rat
he is my friend and i'm quite fond
will you play GTA next or are you content
to stand there staring into the beyond
Dmaj
black hole
F#min
manufactured
Emaj
by a wizard
F#min
13 years old
pink sky
ever darker
his magic marker
behold

Amaj Bmaj Dmaj C#maj

mistrial
hungry lawyers
quaint annoyers
he is set free
countdown
and a race run
to oblivion
we cease to be

late is
the hour
the power
grows and grows
awesome
and frightening
drifting
where no one goes
Fmaj
other’s Day is approaching fast
Cmaj
If you blink, if you blink it’ll rush right past you
Bbmaj
Start planning now
Fmaj
All the things you’d like to do for her
Cmaj Bbmaj
All the things she’d prefer
Fmaj
Cuz it’s her day, yeah it’s her day
Flowers, chocolates, and jewelry
She’ll know that you love her
It’ll be plain to see
Plain to see
Facials, massages, a day at the salon
It won’t break the bank if you go through Groupon
Groupon x2
Gmin
Home gifts and picture frames
Bbmaj
You know that she’d enjoy these things
Fmaj Cmaj
But there’s something that she’d like even more
Activities that you could do together
The two of you
Like seeing plays at the theatre
Dmin Bbmaj
Cooking classes and painting classes
Fmaj Cmaj
Paint your own pottery deal
Groupon’s got ‘em
And the price is rock bottom
So cheap that it’s unreal
Cmaj Fmaj
Groupon x6
Jane Cowger x2
You can outbelch your father
And I think that’s pretty cool
Dmaj GMaj
You’ve been to London, Edinburgh, Naples, and Rome
Dmaj Amaj
You’ve been to Athens, Turkey, Cairo, all over Mexico
Dmaj Gmaj
You’ve been to Alaska, all over the lower 48
Amaj
And today is your birthday
And that’s why we say
Dmaj Gmaj Dmaj Amaj
Oh, Jane Cowger, Jane Cowger
Bmin Amaj
You can outbelch your father
Gmaj Dmaj
And I think that’s pretty cool
Bmin Emin
Carlin is smiling where ever he be
Amaj Dmaj
Some day he’ll be joined by my friend Iggy
Friends move on and it’s sad we can’t help
We remember them best whne we’re true to ourselves
I am a nerd
Sing it with me now
I am a nerd, nerd, nerd
A nerdy, nerdy, nerd
I am a nerd
Happy birthday, Jane
I am a nerd
Happy birthday, Jane
I am a nerd, nerd, nerd
Yeah!
Cmaj Gmaj Amin
no no no this is all wrong
Emaj Dmaj
i shouldn't be here singing this song
yes yes yes it's all that you got
there's nothing else it's the last line you've wrought

Cmaj Emin Dmaj
cold bones breaking one by one along a page
hot whispers singing down along a twighlit age
Gmaj Amin Emin Dmaj
a cage a cage and a head left spinning 
wrinkles in time no end and no beginning

no no no turn the lights down low
i will not assimilate into mediocrity
yes yes yes now is your chance
breakfast in the morning and then a break dance
Emaj
looking in the mirror
G#min
de ja vu
C#min
standing on a step stool
Amaj Bmaj
with a mustache too
long pants hot dance
turn around wide stance 
funny how the sun sets
are pretty when the smog gets
thicker than a bowl of stew
we're bathing in co2
I'm calling after you
Amaj Gmaj
But you can't hear me

I am a militant 
non militant against
fundamentalism 
pro people i believe in us
Love 
Judgmental category
obsessed with allegory
Convinced it's a story
That's been seen here before
Forever a moment in time
To ignore it would be a crime
Mark Summers was covered in slime
and he was obsessive

Compulsive in the mirror
8 0 2
Hairy chest grows now
And I'm the 3rd one through 
Off the track going back
LIft off smoke stack
Funny how the summer gets
Nicer when the sun sets
chased by korgano the moon
join my rebel platoon
we'll take over this rock soon
we'll be scholars
and tricksters and kings and queens
led by science and love and the means
of production will not matter, machines
will do our bidding
Cmaj Bbmaj
Though the day be long
Fmaj
i'll keep you safe from harm
on your jet black hair
i would place a silver crown
Dmin Bbmaj Fmaj Cmaj
and by the magic that brought you to me
Bbmaj Gmin Fmaj
i swear to love to you faithfully

i'm a full grown man
but in my heart i am a boy
when i hear you laugh
all doubt within destroyed
and by the magic that brought you to me
i swear to love to you faithfully

i will strive to know you
better than you know yourself
and so when you ask it
i am there to help

i will make a promise
i will take any vow
not leave your side
to stand near you and be proud
Emaj Amaj
go where you're wanted
go where you're needed
no one will tell you lies
Dmin Cmaj
no one will hurt you
Amaj Emaj
no one will challenge you
you'll never be surprised
they'll always help you
they'll always touch you
you'll never shed a tear
they understand you
they'll always know your thoughts
no jealousy or fear
i'm gonna break your heart
i'm gonna let you down
i'm gonna love you so completely i'll burn you to the ground
i'm gonna mess right up
i'm gonna be a fool no one can love you as much as i do
though love it can be cruel
bluejays are singing
springtime is coming
there's something missing there
and in the morning the puzzle incomplete
i offer up this prayer
Cmaj
Randy Bernstein Danielle Harrington
Are the very best no point comparing them
Fmaj
when it come casting reality shows
there's only one place where everybody knows to go
Amin
if you're searching high and low
Gmaj
for people to be on your show
Fmaj
i'd like you to say hello
E7
to the casting duo 

Cmaj Gmaj Amin Fmaj

they cast Top chef
and ultimate cake off
losing it with jillian the body fat
shake off
amazing race 5
who wants to be a super hero
project runway 4.0
that was emmy nominated you know
so give it up and say hello

danielle lives in redondo beach
where the ocean's within reach 
randy lives in woodland hills
i once dated a girl from over there, you know
but that's just a tale of woe
which isn't really apropos
so just forget it and say hello
to the casting duo
F#maj
wild thoughts pass through my head
D#min
dorthey's home and the witch is dead
C#maj
the home is changed the girl's the same
Bmaj
i give myself up to the strange
and i know
the color of your soul
blue as midnight in a summer evening
skyline touched by gold

Bmaj F#maj C#maj D#min
be still and listen
the world is changing
no one can stop it
but you and i will love one another
until the ending of the world

holy men can make mistakes
heavy is the heart that breaks
broken down on bended knee
we draw the curtain back and see
human beings
all wanting to be loved
living dying asking why and never knowing
what any of it was

F#maj 
the lives we lead
D#min
the love we need
C#maj
hidden in the cold dark places
Bmaj
it calls us home
G#min
to arms unknown
C#maj
till we stop and hear the sound of waves
a coming to wash the world away
Donna Goodrow
Obsessed with Pedro
That’s her dog
She considers him human
She’s got super long eyelashes
Erin Tomasello
Just a small town girl in LA
She’s the one with the bubbly fun
Her laugh is contagious
Donna, Jesse, Erin, and Sam
Making up the Hitmakers Clan
Each on their own would be enough
Put them together, it’s love
Love
It’s love
Jesse Tannenbaum
Is in love with his muscles
And his white teeth, too, yeah
Everything he says is sarcastic
Sam Kivi
The diva with the superman hair
The handsome daddy of the group, yeah
He does the little leaps when he’s excited
Like this, leap, leap, leap, leap
Donna, Jesse, Erin, and Sam
Making up the Hitmakers Clan
Each on their own would be enough
Put them together, it’s love
Love
It’s love
Bbmaj Cmin
roger ebert is a grumpy old man
Ebmaj Fmaj
a brilliant but grumpy old man

Gmin Fmaj
he's never played a video game
Ebmaj Cmin
and yet he criticizes all the same
he's a supreme court justice on a sexting case
he's out of his element never is a long time 

when it comes to film, he's got eloquence and heart
on the subject of video games it all falls apart
he's got no frame of reference, can't support any of his claims
he's never played ico or even super mario bros.
Bmaj
We run so hot and cold
We are so young and old
We are insecure and bold
We are black and blue and gold
When we sit together
Dance together
Play together
When we drink together
Eat together
Speak together
My hands were made to touch your skin
Your arms were made for me to lie in
My eyes were made to stare at you
Your lips were made to say you love me, too
When we sit together
Dance together
Play together
When we drink together
Eat together
Speak together
Bmaj
If you want to be my baby
D#min
Just say so
If you want me to be your daddy
Let me know
If you want to be my baby
Just say so
I want you to be my baby
Now you know
You say you watch me sleep
I say you go so deep
You hear that I hate you
I say it isn’t true
When we sit together
Dance together
Play together
When we drink together
Eat together
Speak together
If you want to be my baby
Just say so
If you want me to be your daddy
Let me know
If you want to be my baby
Just say so
I want you to be my baby
Now you know
Amaj
Well my blue friend
Emaj
Here we are again
Dmaj F#min Dmaj Emaj
At the end of the road and of everything I’ve knowed
Courage and conviction
Or patent dereliction
Await us in this valley
Where all manner of folk are rallied
Amaj C#min
Singing, go
Dmaj Emaj
Singing, go, go, go
Singing, go
Singing, go, go, go
Go from here
Has it all come to this?
Should I wear the shoe that fits?
Or is this just another wave point on an ocean that we’re sailing
Carry on, carry on
Until the last of the folk is gone
We were meant to travel west
Beyond sea and hope and rest
Singing, go
Singing, go, go, go
Singing, go
Singing, go, go, go
Go from here
A tooth chipped on a rock
A backwards running clock
On the road I swear I saw them
And that’s what they have in common
A dream built by distress
A princess in her dress
A chance to rise and rise
To see the gleam back in her eyes
Oh, go
Go, go, go
Oh, go
Go, go, go
Go from here
Cmaj Bbmaj Fmaj Abmaj
It's a dangerous world for a songwriter to be going it alone
behind every corner, a melodious murder, or the deadly A flat drone

but they each have their strengths that they bring to the table
and with their powers combined they are ready and able to go....

on a crowded street you wouldn't look twice 
just four souls unremarkable in every way save one
when they stop with their pen
to write down an idea that struck them just then

and later convened at their secret headquarters
they start writing songs as the distance gets shorter

between the sounds they hear in their head
and the sounds in the stereo spread
ideas flying; no asking why and
this is the prayer that's said

we are stronger together than apart - O the writing camp
earth wind fire water heart - the writing camp
stronger together than apart - O the writing camp
DQ Erika Greg Evan Bogart - the writing camp
Bmaj
Hey, hey, hey, hey
That’s not yours
You can’t have that
Emaj F#maj Bmaj
Nobody here will try and stop you
But maybe someone here will try and kill you
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hollywood is just a dream away
Nobody here will try and stop you
Nobody here will let you go
Amaj Bmaj
I contradict myself
So I contradict myself
C#min
I contain multitudes
Bmaj
Walt Whitman said that
Emaj Amaj Bmaj
He said that, he said that
Hey, hey, hey, hey
That was Fat Albert’s way of saying hey
I can’t program my VCR
I don’t have a VCR
Dmaj Emaj
What’s something technical that I can do?
Amaj G#7
Nobody will try and stop you
C#min Bmaj
Nobody will let you go
Nobody will try and stop you
Nobody will let you go
Put the cap back on
Put the lid back on
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Pandora’s Box
It’s open
Nobody cares
Dmaj Amaj
There are print shops, there are windmills
Dmaj
And there are bakeries
Gmaj Dmaj
And there is something deep within us
Amaj
That also works like these

Gmaj Dmaj
What comes rolling down our nerve-tracts
Amaj Dmaj
The good ol Fordtastic way?
It is sensation and perception
It is joy, fun and dismay

So we are manufacturing
And were equipped so well
Were constantly producing
Through each receptor cell

Feelings n emotions rolling down the line 
Feelings n emotions so we can feel so fine
Bmin
But even if we’re lonely
Amaj Bmin
And things feel bad
But we still are producing surplus value
even when we’re feeling sad
Gmaj Amaj
Especially when we’re sad
Bmaj
zeaxanthin zeaxanthin
Ff#maj
lutein lutein
Emaj
very good for your eyes
Bmaj
they won't call you four eyes
if you eat green things
so eat green things 

Bmaj Gmin
your eyes are important to you
Emaj F#maj
you don't want to go blind
simple changes in diet
can have drastic effect you'll find
Gmin F#maj Emaj
that by eating green leafy vegetables
F#maj
your eye site could improve
make a salad, steam some broccoli 
F#maj Bmaj
because you've got a lot to lose!
Cmaj Dmaj Emin Gmaj
There once was a horse named Koko
Who just never felt right
She couldn’t put her hooves on it
Oh, no, no
It kept her up at night
Her owner, he was shocked
When Koko tried to mount other mares
She wasn’t obedient or docile
No, no
She just didn’t care
Cmaj Dmaj Gmaj
Koko just didn’t care
Gmaj Cmaj Gmaj Dmaj
Koko the intersex horse
Gmaj Dmaj
hey changed you of course
Cmaj Dmaj
You’re no longer confused
Koki the intersex horse
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
They doctors they came to see Koko
With their PhDs
In their wisdom they said, oh no no
She’s got some parts of a he
So they operated on Koko
To fix her for good
She didn’t have a choice, oh no no
Cmaj Dmaj Emin
Like all hermaphrodites should x2
Koko the intersex horse
They changed you of course
You’re no longer confused
Koki the intersex horse
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
Bmin Cmaj
And when you dream
Bmin Emin Dmaj
Do you dream in stallion?
Are you running free
On some Italian countryside
Cmaj
With your head up high
A wild ride
All your friends by your side
Now the girls come and pet and ride Koko
She’s just a good little horse
She’s never wild or upset
Oh, no no
She’s a good little horse
When she looks past the fences
Does Koko, I wonder what does she see
Does she think to herself
I know, I know there’s something I’m supposed to be
There’s something I’m supposed to be
Koko the intersex horse
They changed you of course
You’re no longer confused
Koki the intersex horse
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
For better or worse
Is he still within you?
Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj
i'm at randy's house
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
but randy's not here
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj Amin
but bella and carrie and ivory and brad are
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
so have no fear
Fmaj Cmaj
randy's photographing 
Gmaj Cmaj
a wedding where they're drinking 
Fmaj Cmaj
they've been drinking since 6 ish
Gmaj Cmaj
soon their consciousness'll be blinking
Gmaj
And they’ll pass out
Cmaj
They they’ll lay on the floor
They were dancing
Now they’re laying on the floor
and then randy and carrie and bella and julian 
will be singing with me so cool i an
And bella and Julian are currently not in school i an
Cuz Bella just graduated
And Julian’s not feeling so well
So I’m at Randy’s house
But Randy’s not here
but bella and carrie and ivory and brad are
Ebmaj
here we are
Cmin
here we are
Abmaj Bbmaj
doing what we always do
near and far
near and far
beneath the blinding light of de ja vu
Ebmaj Dmaj Cmin
unicorns
cha here we are
here we are
Abmaj Bbmaj
doing what we always do
near and far
near and far
beneath the blinding light of de ja vu
unicorns
chase stars and form
a barrier between 
thoughts unspoken
and thoughts expressed
exposed undressed
the difference 'tween
what's whole and what is broken

mangy cat
mangy cat
may let you pet her soft
maybe not
but maybe not
it may only piss her off
on the street
but enough to eat
alone in her home
no one to rely on
stranger's hand
a dangerous plan
never knowing what's ahead
with enough to get by on

and unicorns
are being born
where matter is engery
and energy matter
in black holes
the unicorn foals
climb an ever growing golden ladder

hovering
hovering
like a space ship above a car
so we sing
so we sing
an alien song from our hearts

singing of cicadas
is just about the greatest
sound i've ever heard
like peeping frogs in summer
and the soft low hum
of a fan on medium
and the click click click click click
of the sticky clicky drummer se stars and form
a barrier between 
thoughts unspoken
and thoughts expressed
exposed undressed
the difference 'tween
what's whole and what is broken

mangy cat
mangy cat
may let you pet her soft
maybe not
but maybe not
it may only piss her off
on the street
but enough to eat
alone in her home
no one to rely on
stranger's hand
a dangerous plan
never knowing what's ahead
with enough to get by on

and unicorns
are being born
where matter is engery
and energy matter
in black holes
the unicorn foals
climb an ever growing golden ladder

hovering
hovering
like a space ship above a car
so we sing
so we sing
an alien song from our hearts

singing of cicadas
is just about the greatest
sound i've ever heard
like peeping frogs in summer
and the soft low hum
of a fan on medium
and the click click click click click
of the sticky clicky drummer
Jeff’ Cannata’s Loving Stuff Song
Song of the Day #: 672
[verse]
Emin
if i or anyone else
Gmaj Cmaj
doesn't love the thing you love
it doesn't mean you can't love it
just putting that out on the table

i am the last person to begrudge anyone their enjoyment of anything

[chorus]
Gmaj Amin Emin
i love loving stuff

[verse]
i get into stuff that a lot people don't get into
kind of insane stuff
weird creepy kind of insane stuff
a brick is much lower than 20 dollars
and i could slam it into my forehead over and over and get about the same amount of joy

Emin D
um so wait oh oh oh oh

Emin Gmaj Cmaj
the idea of you don't get it

[verse]
which is just a condescending way of putting the onus on me 
rather the game
if you like this game, i'm happy for you
 i want people to play stuff that they like
but just because that it isn't something i like
doesn't mean i didn't get it
maybe i haven't seen the full range of the experience yet
and maybe there will be things that i like about it 
but it doesn't mean that where i am in the experience right now
isn't valid

[chorus]
but you do love loving things
I’ll Be Seeing You (Redux)
Song a Day #: 673
[verse]
Dmaj Gmaj Emin Amaj
the season weighs heavy on my nerves
i don't even have the time to write these words
i gotta go, i got things to do
but i'll be seeing you

i am running late and out of time
losing weight each morning i'm
on patrol and i'm on the move
so i'll be seeing you


[bridge]
Bmin
if i missed your call
and i don't call back
Gmaj
don't take it personal
Emin
if emails go unanswered
Amaj
i apologize

you won't see me at all
you might distract
i'm tired and my plate is full
i'm like a fire dancer in a
ring of ice

[verse]
i'm too poor for a shopping spree
elves and reindeer laugh at me
it's christmas time, i'm a jew
and i'll be seeing you

the season weights heavy on my nerves
i don't even have the time to write these words
i gotta go, i got things to do
but i'll be seeing you
The Ballad of Johannes Mehserle and Oscar Grant
Song a Day #: 674
[verse]
Dmaj Bmin Gmaj Dmaj
Johannes, Johannes mehserle 
Dmaj Bmin Amaj
your case is the face of injustice
you murdered a man and soon will be free
it's broken and bitter corruption
[chorus]
Gmaj Dmaj Gmaj Dmaj
two years two years
Dmaj Bmin Amaj Dmaj
you murdered a man and got two years

[verse]
you graduated top of your class
academically amazing 
in the heat of the moment you grabbed your gun
when you thought you were grabbing your taser

[bridge]
Gmaj
so you made a mistake
Bmin
so you made a mistake
and somebody died 
it must keep you awake
if anyone else 
were to make that mistake
Amaj Gmaj
they'd spend their life in prison
Gmaj
but you were a cop
Bmin
and that's worth a lot
F#min Gmaj
and he was a black man in oakland
so your chief can just talk
to the judge and you walk
in two years you're out in the open

[chorus]
two years two years
you murdered a man and got two years
[verse]
is one man's life worth more than another's?
this seems to be the message
a cop, a cop who breaks the law
remains underpunished 

it's not hard to see what's right and what's fair
we all know it inside our bones
Johannes mehserle should be doing more time
instead he's going home
18,000 Cool Jokes
Song a Day #: 675
[chorus]
Cmaj Fmaj
18,000 Cool Jokes
That’s a lot of jokes
Holy smokes
[verse]
Got a joke for each situation
Any kind of person
Any nation
Laughter simply never ends
And you’ll share them with your friends
[chorus]
18,000 Cool Jokes
That’s a lot of jokes
Holy smokes
18,000 Cool Jokes
Just 99 cents
You won’t go broke
18,000 Cool Jokes
Go to Cramzy
Holy smokes
Daylight Savings (Redux)
Song a Day #: 676
[verse]
Amaj Cmin
It gets dark so early
Bmin Cmin
I don’t have time to do
All the daytime things
That I need to
If I were a vampire
I’d love this time of year
I’d take an evening stroll when the sky got clear
Daylight savings makes no sense
Give me back those hours
I demand recompense
Recompense
I’m a morning person
I never stay up late
And when occasionally I do
I don’t feel so great
So the darkness makes me sleepy
And I feel like a party pooper
I wish I was like Mario and I could just eat a mushroom and be super
Daylight savings makes no sense
Give me back those hours
I demand recompense
Recompense x3
Robin’s Treehouse
Song a Day #: 677
[verse]
Bbmaj Ebmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
The treehouse was built for me and my brother by my dad
Cmaj Ebmaj
It was the best thing that we ever had
It was actually more like a fort
Of the sort you might see in a museum
Gmin Fmaj
Like a sculpture you could play on
[chorus]
Gmin Ebmaj (Fmaj)
And it was open to everyone x2
[verse]
With metal bars you climb to get to the second story
Which had railing all around
Then you could exit the top with a drop down a fireman’s pole
Or climbing down a long knotted rope
[chorus]
And it was open to everyone
Yeah it was open to everyone
[bridge]
Ebmaj Bbmaj
And then there were the swings
The two hella long swings
The whole thing was built on a hill
So you could swing out way over the hill
Fmaj
And jump off the swing
Ebmaj
High into the air
Fmaj Ebmaj
Fall into the leaves at t bottom of the hill
[chorus]
Dmin Ebmaj
And it was open to everyone
Yeah, it was open to everyone
And it was open to everyone, oh
[verse]
Two years later the neighbors built a treehouse of their own
It had carpet and electricity
And it was in a real tree
But scary so up high off the ground
And they were stingy about who could use it
And it wasn’t open to everyone
No it wasn’t open to everyone
The treehouse was built for me and my brother by my dad
It was a testament to the love that he had
And to his engineering mind
Which could find the maximum fun
Out of minimum materials
{chorus]
And it was still as strong on the day that we moved on the day that he built it x2
And it was open to everyone
Yeah it was open to everyone
It was always open to everyone x2
Everyone
Craigslist TV
Song a Day $: 678
[verse]
Fmaj Cmaj
You got the superheroes on the sunset strip
Dmin Gmin
Trying to get their jobs back
Bbmaj Cmaj
But they can’t agree on anything
Oh they sit around the table arguing
You got Charity conducting interviews
Looking for a husband
She’s not happy with most of the men
But one of them she’ll see again
[chorus]
Fmaj Cmaj
On Craigslist TV
Gmin Dmin
Some might say they’re crazy
Bbmaj Cmaj
But I say they’re like you and me
It’s like potpourri
It’s everybody
[verse]
Well there’s a ninja dude cleaning a pool
He’s willing to do anything
He sleeps in his car when the day is done
But don’t feel bad
He lives for fun
Got a woman out of trouble paying the rent
She wants to rent her couch out
She posts and ad and gets replies
And she rents it to this guy
[chorus]
On Craigslist TV
Some might say they’re crazy
But I say they’re like you and me
It’s like potpourri
It’s everybody
On Craigslist TV
The world feels smaller already
It’s the digital in reality
It’s the whole world
It’s everybody
[bridge]
Fmaj Cmaj
Who will win the accordion on Craigslist TV?
Dmin Cmaj
Will Sandra Bullock ever see the dress on Craigslist TV?
Will she form a cover band on Craigslist TV?
Will Krista find her missed connection on Craigslist TV?
[chorus]
On Craigslist TV
Some might say they’re crazy
But I say they’re like you and me
It’s the whole world
It’s everybody
This Song and Video Ae Essentially About Not Having Enough Tim
Song a Day #679
[verse]
Emaj
Leave it all behind
G#7
Every single thought unkind
Amaj
As this dream starts to unwind
C#min F#7
I can feel the sky get closer
No more apartment
No more car
No more worrying where you are
As I break down into a star
I can feel that it’s not over
I haven’t had a day when I could get away
All work and no play
And now I’m crazy
Break down walls and break down doors
Land your ship on foreign shores
It’s too big now to ignore
And it’s too amazing
[chorus]
Emaj Amaj
Everywhere I go
C#min B
They’re just talking to me, talking to me
Everywhere I go
They’re just talking to me, talking to me
Everywhere I go
They’re just talking to me, talking to me
Everywhere I go
They’re just talking to me, talking to me
Too Long, Didn’t Read
Song a Day #: 608
Fmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
Do you know what time it is?
Time for the Too Long Didn’t Read quiz
You’ve been reading Urlesque
Then come and play
Gmin
If you get them all wrong
Bbmaj Cmaj
We’ll send you junk anyway
Fmaj
Let’s play!
Ninjas, Database Security and You
Song a Day #: 681
[verse]
Fmaj
It was dark
Dmin
And my data seemed unprotected
Suddenly some masked ninjas snuck in so unexpected
Cmaj Bbmaj
They wanted my data with thoughts of impurity
But lucky for me I had some security
[chorus]
Gmin Fmaj Dmin Cmaj
Database security is important for everybody
Whatever you do
Whatever has been
Keep your database safe or the ninjas will win
[outro]
Fmaj Cmaj Gmin Bbmaj
Don’t let the ninjas win x3
Keep the database safe
Don’t let the ninjas win x3
Keep the database safe
People Only Love You If You’ve Got White Teeth
Song a Day #: 682
[verse]
Fmaj Cmaj Fmaj
Look at these people in the woods
They’ve got such white teeth
Dmin Amin Dmin
Their teeth as white as snow
I don’t how it could be
Oh now, oh now I see
They have Macleans here
Macleans, Macleans, Macleans, Macleans
[chorus]
Fmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
It’s a toothpaste
And a ???
Dmin Amin Fmaj
With giardia
Take another look
Cmaj
People only love you if you’ve got white teeth x3
[outro]
Fmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
Smile, yeah
??? with sunlight
It’s future ???
Dmin Cmaj
You have a snowball fight
And they’re hugging and they’re kissing
On the snowball fight
And their hair comes out of their mouths
Fmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
???
And they don’t kiss
Cuz we leave tracks in the snow
Tracks in the snow
???
I Don’t Like the TSA
Song a Day#: 684
[verse]
Fmaj Ebmaj
i don't like the TSA
Bbmaj Fmaj
cause they don't seem to keep me safe
They scan me with their x ray
then laugh at me when i'm at my gate

and if i refuse to show them my penis
then they insist on groping me
g-g-g-groping me
and if i refuse them groping me
then they'll treat me like a detainee
d-d-detainee

[chorus]
i don't like the tsa
taking off my shoes doesn't keep me safe
they scan me with their x ray
or they grope me which is no ok

[bridge]
Gmin Fmaj
don't get me wrong
Dmin Ebmaj Fmaj
this isn't about the agents
they're just doing their jobs
this is about the policies
and companies who are profiting 

Bbmaj 
and i question the safety
Ebmaj
of the bombardment with X-ray
Bbmaj
maybe the government's tests
Fmaj
we're quite so accurate
they say the dose is .02
microseiverts but how much is
Bbmaj Fmaj Bbmaj
deposited in the skin
[chorus]
Zombie Turkey
Song A Day #: 685
[verse]
Gmin Fmaj Ebmaj Fmaj
you went to the supermarket got your turkey wrapped in plastic
cooked it in the oven just right should come out fantastic
the whole family's coming over you put on your evening gown
but creeping up behind you all moist and golden brown 
Dmaj
it's the zombie turkey coming to pay you back

[chorus]
Gmin Fmaj Ebmaj Fmaj
zombie turkey
zombie turkey
[verse]
you run up the stairs into the bathroom lock the door
you can hear her boney legs banging on the floor
she's coming ever closer now, you look out the window to see
an entire neighborhood overrun by zombie turkeys
they are zombie turkeys and they're coming to pay you back
[chorus]

she's banging down the door now it looks like there's no escape
you can't outrun her because you're fat and out of shape
if only you exercised more, ate less, you'd be thinner
what a terrible way to die to be eaten by your dinner
by a zombie turkey who has come to pay you back
CERN Created and Held Anti Matter
Song a Day #:686
[verse]
Bbmaj Fmaj6 Gmin Fmaj
What’s the matter, anti matter?
You don’t want to stay around in our universe
We want to hear what you have to say
I’ll tell you what’s the matter, anti matter
Now they’ve got me trapped
They got me a whole tenth of a second
I ain’t putting up with this crap
[chorus]
Bbmaj
Anti matter, hey
Gmin
Anti matter, ho
Ebmaj Fmaj
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
Anti matter, hey
Anti matter, ho
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
[verse]
Yo, anti matter
Why you leave so quick?
The way we keep you here, it’s a pretty neat trick
We use magnets, of electro variety
Though for some you cause mega anxiety
[chorus]
Anti matter, hey
Anti matter, ho
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
Anti matter, hey
Anti matter, ho
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
Anti matter, hey
Anti matter, ho
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
Anti matter, hey
Anti matter, ho
Our model of the universe needs you, bro
Willow Palin Facebook Debate
Song a Day #: 687
[verse]
Dmin Cmaj Bbmaj Amaj
Sarah Palin’s Alaska is failing so hard right now
You’re running your mouth just to talk shit
Dmin Emin Fmaj Gmaj Dmin Amaj Dmin
Hahahahaha, the show fails I think, just opinion, but so do other people
No you just run your mouth just so you’ll get a reaction
You’re just a typical shit talker
Talking shit cause you have nothing else going for you
Just like you pretended you didn’t know what Dancing with the Stars was
Don’t watch it dumb shit
And Matt, you’re effin fat as hell
Shut the fuck up
Man these Palins really don’t like it when you don’t admire them fully
Well I’m sorry that people don’t like some programming
PS-You’re lucky your show goes by votes, not talent
I’m excited to watch it
They are a really cute family
Haha, what channel is that shit on?
Not as fat as Bristol
And not dating a dumbass like prick like almond
The only program I enjoyed from your family is Nailin Palin
It’s on TLC
The last channel I’d ever fucking watch in my life
Willow, don’t make me count to three
Hahahahahah
Haha, you’re so gay
I have no idea who you are
But what I’ve seen pictures of, you’re disgusting
My sister had a kid and is still hot
And don’t talk shit about Andy
Tre shut the fuck up
You’re such a faggot
Crimes
Song a Day #: 688
[verse]
Fmaj
many crimes
Cmaj
i have committed
Dmin Amin
in the name of self defense
Bbmaj
many times
Fmaj
i will admit it
Cmaj Dmin
these crimes they made no sense

[chorus]
Fmaj
i broke the rule of of law
Cmaj Dmin
and it shattered to a million pieces
Fmaj
i went to the university and
Cmaj Dmin
tore up a post doc's finished thesis
Cmaj
i told lies that sounded truthful
Bbmaj
ate papaya by the toothful 
dropped bombs on bomby shelters
Dmin
just to see what would happen

[outro]
Amin
and it rains 
Bbmaj
oooh, it rains
Amin Cmaj
i call out your name and it gets lost in the air
Girl, You’re in My Heart
Song A Day #: 689
[chorus]
Fmaj Bbmaj
girl, you're in my heart
Cmaj
rum dum dum a dumma dum
Bbmaj A G Fmaj
it stops and starts


[verse]
Gmin Dmin
am i weak or am i strong
Bbmaj A7
and where do we belong
Gmin Dmiin
are we just two children
Bbmaj Cmaj
acting out a fantasy an original sin
[chorus]

[verse]
i've been around the block
i've heard the body talk
i've rolled the dice and lost
i've breathed the rich exhaust 

[bridge]
Gmin
nowhere is safe
Fmaj
let's keep running
until the world runs out
and space comes gunning
Bbmaj A7
for you and gunning for me
Dmin Cmaj
and the side of the ship is the last thing that we see
[chorus]
Bill The T Rex
Song a Day #: 690
[verse]
Dmaj
I had a friend named bill
F#min
he had such tiny little hands
Bmin Gmaj Amaj
he was violent, he often broke necks

but when it came to the internet
he didn't understand
because bill was a tyranasaurus rex

[prechorus]
Gmaj
he couldn't reach the keyboard
Bmin
he couldn't reach the mouse
Gmaj
a brain so small inside of a
Amaj
a head the size of a house


[chorus]
Gmaj Amaj Dmaj Bmin
yeah bill the tyranasaurus rex
has trouble with every day tasks
Gmaj Amaj Dmaj Amaj6 Bmin
every thing he touches he wrecks
Gmaj Amaj (Dmaj Gmaj) 4X
it's fine motor skills that he lacks

[verse]
bill went for a drive
through hollywood
but he couldn't put his change in the meter
when bill cam
back to his car
the meter maid was there so he decided to eat her

[prechorus]
he can't open the car door
can't open the trunk
his tiny little hands
have got him in a funk

[verse]
so bill went out
to seek the truth
about his existence and what it all means
he found a temple
he prayed and prayed
and god came down with a trampoline

he told bill to jump
he said look around
and bill got so high
that he never came down
[chorus]
Stop Hunting the Unicorns, You Bastard
Song a Day #: 691
[verse]
Gmaj Dmaj
unicorns celebrate christmas everday
Cmaj Emin Dmaj
and when they poop it smells like kittens
Gmaj Dmaj
when a unicorn cries 
Bmin Gmaj
it sounds like angels singing
Emin Gmaj
and unicorns will cure cancer
Dmaj Cmaj
just as soon as we stop hunting them

[chorus[
Gmaj Cmaj
stop hunting the unicorns 
stop hunting the unicorns
Dmaj
you bastards

[verse]
a unicorn uses their horn to create love
all the love in the world comes from them
when a unicorn dies
another one is born
and that's how the love supply
doesn't run out

[chorus]
stop hunting the unicorns
stop hunting the unicorns
you bastards

[bridge]
Emin
they got something you want
Cmaj
but you ain't supposed to have
Amin
you're doomed to a cursed life
Dmaj
if you keep going like that
stop now and change your ways
the unicorns will forgive 
you'll see the light and be amazed
god may let you live

[verse]
unicorns sprinkle magic dust at night
and in the morning the sun comes up
unicorns are
best friends with the moon
and they breathe with the tides
when they sneeze flowers bloom

[chorus]
Cmaj Gmaj
stop hunting the unicorns
stop hunting the unicorns
I Am Just Air Now
Song a Day #: 692
[verse]
Dmaj Cmaj Gmaj
My snuggie got caught in a jet engine set to tour the world
I was ground down into my constituent parts
my atoms were swept up in the jet stream and taken for a ride
my consciousness went with them, my soul and my heart

[chorus]
Emin Dmin
i am just just air now

[verse]
my snuggie's atoms mixed with mine and then we recombined
the radiation from the sun formed us into one
as we flew above the blue faster than the speed of sound
i sang this song to myself high above the ground

[chorus]
i am just air now
(Cmaj Gmaj Dmaj)
[chorus]
Thanksgiving with Monsters
Song a Day #:693
[verse]
Bmaj
Up at old count dracula's place
Emaj
Frankenstien's cutting a rug
F#maj
Mothra tokin' up a joint
G#min C#min F#maj
Gozilla's drinking win out of a jug
Jaws is filling up on pie
the 50 foot woman's drinking a beer
the marshmallow man is starting to cry
G#min F#maj
thanksgiving day is here
[chorus]

[verse[
john mccain is reading keats out loud
to the creature of from the black lagoon
voldermort just killed the turkey
greyback's howlin' at the moon
darth vader is playing rock band wii
the krakken is cracking up
king kong is singing a song
the wicked witch is filling her cup

[chorus]
E F#maj
thanksgiving with monsters
G#min F#maj
they don't have any friends
they only have each other
and when thanksgiving ends
it's back to what they do best
Bmaj G#min
post-thanksgiving destruction
Emaj F#maj
kill, destroy, kill

[bridge]
G#min
at the head of the table
sits their fearless leader
G#min F#maj
the monster they all dread
a tiny little man
they all call him the TV monster
G#min F#maj
he's a man with a TV for a head
[chorus]
Paul, The Photographer Fish
Song a Day #: 694
[verse]
G#maj C#maj
There was a fish named paul
And he was very small
And he forget everything 
D#maj
That he saw
But he wanted to remember
from November to November
so he started taking pictures
A#min D#maj
of wonderful things

Fmin C#maj D#maj
he saw an octopus break dancing
he saw an old ghost ship with dead pirates 
G#maj C#maj A#min D#maj
he saw a shark bite through a concrete slab
Fmin C#maj D#maj
he saw a woman in an oyster with a smile on her face
[chorus]

[verse[
as the camera clicked
he would take the pic
and send it home to his grandma
she was delighted
and she showed them to her neighbor
and Paul got into a gallery show

a curator from the pacific came 
a curator from the atlantic came
they had a bidding war on pauls photographs
and now Paul is a well known photographer

[chorus]
G#maj C#maj G#maj D#maj
paul, the photographer fish

[verse]
he got rich
rich for a fish
and he moved into a huge estate
he drank polluted water
got to know the mayors daughter
before long he had a reputation

the gallery in the pacific stopped calling
the gallery in the atlantic stopped calling
paul went back to his grandmothers
and he still takes pictures from time to time
Cthulu and Zeus Sitting in a Treet
Song a Day#: 695
(no chords)
Cthulu was knitting a sweater one day
And feeding mice to his cat
His cat turned into Zeus and said
I like it when you pet me like that
Zeus and Cthulu got it on and gave birth to a beautiful child
It was a wild child
It was defiled
And this is what it said
Daddy, Mommy, I am a monster
I eat people
I suck them up like a Hoover
When I am older I will swallow the universe
But until then I live with the curse
The curse
Cut the Rope Song
Song a Day#: 696
[verse]
Gmaj Cmaj
There’s a little piece of candy swinging on a rope
Ebmaj Dmaj
And a hungry alien
The laws of physics collect the stars
Then you do it again
Emin Cmaj Emin Dmaj
Cut the rope x2
Cmaj Dmaj
Once you start you can’t stop
Emin
So cut the rope
Emin Amin B7
La dadi da, cut the rope x3
Masterpiece
Song a Day #: 697
[verse]
Dmin Gmin
'm lined with purple
Bbmaj Fmaj
and nothing rhymes with purple
Bbmaj Fmaj Bbmaj A7
and if i'm not careful i might explode
i'm faded around the edges
come on trim the hedges
santa in his sledges coming down the road

[chorus]
Dmin A7
masterpiece
peace to the master
masterpiece
Dmin A7 Dmin
mitigate my disaster 

[verse] 
rooms are for living
mistakes for forgiving
graves are for digging all the way to china
feet are for dancing
eyes are for glancing
pants are for pantsing without even trying to

[chorus]
get relief
in charming window display
masterpiece
who are you anyway

Bbmaj Cmaj
whoa, whoa

[verse]
the games we are playing
hear the sleigh bells slaying
what were you saying about christmas cheer?
jesus rhymes with purple
jesus rhymes so well
put him in a van and get him out of here
Animals are Weird
Song a Day #: 698
[verse]
Fmaj Gmin Bbmaj Cmaj
The Axolotl reaches sexual maturity without undergoing metamorphosiss
The Aye Aye lives in madagascar and is remarkable fearless
the star nosed mole can tell if something's food or not in 8 milliseconds 
Tarsiers are the only known living entirely carnivorous primates

[chorus]
Dmin
Animals are weird
Cmaj
Animals are weird
Bbmaj
Animals are weird
Amin Bbmaj
Animals are weird
[verse]
The angora rabbit must be monitored closely to prevent wool block which is when their digestive track is clogged with hair
Giant isopods have the largest fertilized eggs of all known marine invertebrates 
Kiwa hirsuta was discovered in '05 was deemed a new genus and is thought to be blind
Leafy Sea Dragons have been observed staying in one place for up to 68 hours
[chorus]
Dancing in the Musical of Life
Song a Day #: 699
(No Lyrics)
[A section]
(Emin C B) 2x
Gmaj Dmaj Emin C
Emin C B
[B section]
Emin D
Cmaj D
[C section]
Gmaj
Amin Bmin
It Sucks to Be a Squib
Song a Day #: 700
[chorus]
Gmaj
It sucks to be a squib
Cmaj
not magical at all
iEmin
'm gonna end up just like filch
Dmaj
Chasing Harry down the hall
Emin
you would tell any lie
Cmaj
would stretch any fib
Dmaj
cause who could ever love
Gmaj
a low d own dirty squib 

[verse]
Gmaj Amin
my parents were magical
Emin Cmaj Dmaj
and they had such high hopes for me
when i turned 11 and no letter came
the shame was so great i had to flea
Cmaj Dmaj
i ran away, didn't know where i was going
Emin Dmaj
i slept in kings cross heard the train whistle blowing
Cmaj
and i snuck aboard 
Bmin Dmaj
the hogwarts express

[chorus]
and it sucked to be a squib
not magical at all
all the other kids are doing
magic in the halls
would take a bludger to the face
i would skellygrow my ribs
if only i could be
not just a low down dirty squib

[verse]
when i got off the train
hagrid was there waiting for me
my parents had sent an owl ahead
they knew just where i was going to be
hagrid took me aside
and spoke very soft with a gleam in his eye
and this is what he said

[chorus]
it doesn't suck to be a squib
for there's chances you can take
abilities are nothing
it's the choices that we make
working on the side of good
and he almost cracked a rib
as he hugged me and he said
i love you little squib
New Life New Life
Song a Day #:701
Emaj Bmaj
little tiny microbes at the bottom of a lake
Bmaj Amaj
tiny but significant make no mistake
arsenic arsenic in their DNA
maybe life's more prevalent then we thought yesterday
Amaj Bmaj
Maybe life's on the moon
G#min Amaj
Maybe life's on mars
Amaj Bmaj
Maybe in a vacuum
G#min C#min
is there life on stars?

Emaj E7
the rulebook has been busted
Amaj Amin
now all bets are off

Emaj Bmaj Amaj
life everywhere you look
aliens that look like a sci fi book
life in every nook
F#min
you can't stop life 
Bmaj
you can't stop life
Emaj
life is everything
The Continuing Adventures of Steve the Hippo
Song a Day #: 702
[verse]
C#min AMaj
Steve got married
Emaj Bmaj
And had a nice little home in the burbs
Though the burden that he carried
Was as frightening as it was absurd
[chorus]
Emaj Bmaj
No one knew that he was a hippopotamus
Emaj C#min
He disguised himself
Emaj Bmaj
He’d go into work every day fooling a lot of us
Amin C#min
He disguised himself too well
[verse]
Steve got promotions
Soon he was a CEO
The board filed motions
He watched his bank account grow
[chorus]
Emaj Bmaj
Steve felt less and less and less autonomous
Emaj Bmaj
Instincts boiled low
Emaj Bmaj
To hid the fact that he was a hippopotamus
Amaj C#min
He started to drink merlot
[bridge]
G#7
One night drunk at the holiday party
Amaj
Steve got a little scary
Emaj
Grey skin, big mouth, and sharp sharp teeth
Bmaj Amaj C#min
Steve ate his secretary x2
[verse]
Steve got fired
And he felt the pressure melt away
As income was required
He started plowing driveways
Now Steve doesn’t hide his hippopotamus
He’s proud now, by and by
Hiding the truth of yourself can be bottomless
Steve lets his colors fly x2
Colors fly
The Rabbit in the Dark Blue Forest
Song a Day #: 703
[verse]
Cmaj
There's a rabbit in the dark blue forest
and she always cuts the grass
Her jaw get sore but she ignores it
Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj
For the grass needs cutting alas

Cmaj Fmaj
wolves in the forest howl
Cmaj Gmaj
owls in the forest hoot
Gmaj
but to the rabbit the wolves and owls
 Fmaj
barely constitute 

Amin
but a minor distraction
Gmaj
because the real action
is in the songs that
[chorus]
Cmaj Dmin
the rabbit sings to the blue birds wings
Gmaj
as the golden rings
Fmaj
of the sun start setting
and the forest blue
is part of me and you
and the rabbit too
Fmaj
set course with the heading
for the dark blue forest
on the way to better better
always everything is growing 
Gmaj
of you

[verse]
there's a rabbit in the dark blue forest
and she always gets away
from the owls and the wolves with their chorus
of come and be our dinner today

look inside your heart and tug it
you will see a rabbit there
under every rock a bug, it's
a scary little piece of spare

parts for the machine
but the real meaning
Orbiting Your Earth Like a Satellite
Song a Day #: 704
[verse]
Gmaj Fmaj Cmaj
I am orbiting your earth like a satellite
You don't know im here but I'm visible at night
Cmaj Dmin
I get a little closer with each revolution
Fmaj
And a restraining order is just a stop gap solution

Because i'm on the wind that's blowing outside your door
I'm in the light that's glowing from that candle on the floor
Im in the water flowing as you draw a bath
I'm a hurricane a coming and your the aftermath

Dmin Gmaj
Hear my satellite beeping
Dmin Gmaj Amin
As the moon comes creeping overhead
As I watch you sleeping
My feelings deepen
I wish I could be steeped in your bed

[chorus]
Fmaj Dmin
But you don't know that I exist
Fmaj Dmin Cmaj
And I'm doomed to float around you like this

[verse]
A man desires love and he hates to be alone
He wants to love before his heart has turned to stone
Gmaj Amin
Elves are dancing and singing in his head
Fmaj Cmaj
In a fantastic wedding with dwarves baking bread

Somewhere there's someone looking in on you
He may not look like much but his heart is strong and true
Mistakes have been made, paths have diverged
And he's ready to talk to you with just a bit more courage
[chorus]
[verse]
Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj Fmaj
i was born in a factory
i looked around and saw a million others like me
Cmaj Gmaj Amin
and i knew that this was gonna be my life
not a single quality about me that i like
and i knew that i would get away
Fmaj Gmaj Fmaj Gmaj
i knew that i be myself someday

i was packed up and shipped 
with 20 of my brothers pushed up against my ribs
from the cold steel rooms i called home
to a dark and musty truck crowded but alone
i ended up on some brightly lighted shelf
and i knew that someday i would be myself

some kids came in one day and bought me
i was scanned and paid for was 2 dollars thirty
before i knew it i was filled up with beer
and then i was discarded and filled up with fear
people dancing everywhere i was almost crushed
someone kicked me out the door and i felt blessed with good luck

[chorus]
Cmaj Gmaj Fmaj
cause then i was struck with lightening
Amin Gmaj Fmaj
and i grew legs for walking
and hands for manipulating 
and i grew lips for talking

Cmaj Amin Gmaj
and i went inside and told those kids
that life was a precious, precious thing
and after they all stopped screaming
Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj
then we all started dancing!
The Guy Who Paints the Lines on the Road
Song a Day #: 706
[verse]
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj Dmaj
I'm the guy who paints the lines on the road
Gmaj Dmaj Amaj
i try to paint them straight but sometimes i go
Gmaj Bmin
into a kind of trance i get lost in the repetition
Amaj Gmaj Bmin
with each line i paint some sin will be forgiven

i spent 3 years at an art school in the city
but they said painting was dead and that my work was shitty
i started to get conceptual until i didn't know what was real
i dropped out my senior year and got behind the wheel

now if you pass me on the road you may look down on me
my work will never show up in your fancy gallery
i'll never have an opening with cheese and expensive wine
art collectors scoff at my endless rows of lines

but every single line has more meaning lying there
than all the pieces being created in every art school everywhere
every single museum and every gallery show
couldn't match the sleeping beauty of my lines upon the road
It Could Have Been Neville
Song a Day #: 707
[verse]
Emin Amin
the prophecy wasn't specific
Dmaj B7
harry's parents would still be alive
if voldemort had wanted it to be neville
it would have been his parents that died
Amin Gmaj
and neville would have the protection of love
Cmaj B7
growing up famous with this grandmother
and harry would be just a normal boy
they would switch roles with on another
[chorus]
Emin Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
It Could’ve Been Neville 4x

[verse]
now i'm not saying harry would be neville
but neville would be the chosen one
neville's name in the goblet of fire
as voldemort was trying to get the job done
maybe herbology would still be his thing
and maybe he'd still be a little awkward
but i think he'd have more confidence 
even if he was still a great big nerd

[chorus]
[bridge] (same chords as chorus0
one little step in the other direction
one little change in voldemort's selection
neville woulda had that lightening scar
neville would fought in the old graveyard
neville could have been best friends with ron
could have married ginny coulda destroyed tom
riddle's diary in the chamber of secrets
there'd be no one else, he would be it
[chorus]
[Verse]
Amaj F#min
Brian loves chick flicks and is kind of in love with Katherine Heigel and Christine O’Donnell
Emaj Dmaj Amaj
And totally, totally can’t dance
Lizzie loves shoes and wears crazy high heels
Her husband can’t cook and they got a prenup
And she smelled a lot of pot while covering the Giants
[chorus]
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj Emaj
On 7Live x4
[verse]
Jen’s from Alaska
And if you ask her
She’ll tell you she’s got a crush on Mark Zuckerberg
She says what she thinks
She doesn’t censor herself and she’s getting married in May
Marielle is obsessed with the royal family
But on the other hand, she loves her fast food
She loves shoes, she loves ghetto songs
And she also loves to say ‘cray cray’
Cray cray
[chorus]
On 7Live x4
[verse]
Fmaj Cmaj
Computer space, odyssey, Bushnell, Atari
Gmin Bbmaj
Coleco, Ralph Baer, Pong becomes a hit
Channel F, Chuck E Cheese, Track Ball, Bushnell leaves
VCS Cartridges, the 2600

Space invaders, high score, vector graphics, space war
lunar lander, asteroids, monoco gp
Pac man, intellivision, end of game put three initials
Othello, nintendo, hiroshi yamauchi 

console war, coleco vision, odyssey is back again 
we can play atari games, different ports of pac man
pole position, pitfall, video pinball
sword quest, combat, adventure, easter egg

tempest, robotron, cenepede, xaxon 
defender, radar scope, donkey kong, nintendo's hope
mario bros. no one knows, shigeru miyamoto
ET. Dec. 7, video games are dead

[bridge]
Gmin Dmin
amiga, msx, apple 2, basic
Gmin Cmaj
zx spectrum, multi user dungeon 
commodore 64, kings quest, lode runner
zork on your floppy drive, macintosh arrives

[verse]
famicon, gyromite, nes, excitebike
robotic operating buddy, light gun, duck hunt
super mario debut, clu clue land, wrecking crew
master system distant second nintendo into the blue

double dragon contra first castlevania
metal gear, ninja gained final fantasy begins
mega man, metroid, punch out, game boy
tetris, kirby, super mario bros. 3
Bmaj Emin
Hey, you
Yeah, you
Amin Gmaj Bmaj Emin
Look at me when I’m talking to you
Amin Bmaj
Do you want to take it outside?
Amin Bmaj
Call me pink one more time
Yeah, you
I know about you
You come in here
You think you know me too
Get outta my face
Before I get pissed
Or watch this hand make a fist
Screw you
And screw him too
I’ll see you in hell or in the zoo
I got these eyes
I ain’t blind
Watch your back or you may wind up dead
[verse]
Dmaj Amaj Emin Gmaj
One fine day I went wandering in the woods that surround my town
One scary moment I was stung by a bee
So I started humming in the key of D
(Bmin Amaj Gmaj F#)
[verse]
That’s when I saw a unicorn
Grazing in a field unawares
A pterodactyl made the swoop
Just when a bonobo flung her poop
[chorus]
Dmaj Bmin Amaj Gmaj
Nature is beautiful, beautiful and dangerous x4
[verse]
Fmaj Dmin
mario 2 is not like mario 1
Cmaj Bbmaj
it's different it's true but it's just as fun
back in the 80s at nintendo japan
they though we couldn't handle the real jump man

(Amin Cmaj)
[chorus]
Fmaj A7
so they took doki doki panic
Dmin Cmaj
and then put mario right in it
and changed a few key elements
to make it more of a mario game
Bbmaj
a mushroom here
Cmaj
a warp zone there
Dmin
the princess with
Cmaj
her golden hair

[verse]
we were just kids
we didn't know
we thought it was legit
mario 
it wasn't until
the snes 
the real mario 2
put our skills to the test

[chorus]
lost levels on mario all stars
man that game is hard
mushrooms fake you out
warp zones send you back

withholding this game
was a very good call
we wouldn't have had the princess
and 

[verse]
and to this day 
i don't know which i prefer
the real mario 2 
or the impostor 
The nostalgia pull
Is strong with both
It's hard to decide which one I love most
If this story had a moral I guess it'd be
We were all pretty gullible in the 80s
[verse]
Dmaj Fmaj
i'm the master of my own design 
Emaj Bmaj
The rain may fall and the wind may whine
But further up the ladder I climb
rung by slippery rung
Until with calloused hands i've reached
eyes agog at the milky breach
that's patterned after human speech
Emaj
words heavy when they're sung

[prechorus]
Amaj
go the other way
Gmaj
just turn around
nothing to see here
go the other way

[chorus]
Dmaj Gmaj
i can see the color of the sky is changing with the seasons
Amaj Dmin
i'll never come back down

[verse]
contained within this bottle blue
is enough of me to take over you
your memories and all you knew
gone with a single sip
higher up and higher i rose
into places where no man goes
one thought within me grows 
and just escapes my lips

I'll never come back down
[verse]
Cmin
the path is slippery
Fmaj
the road is breaking me
i won't always be
able to only see
Gmin
one direction
Fmaj
one direction at a time
with perspective
and only two eyes

(Amin Gmin)
[verse]
mis representative
tis the season to be giving
that with which you cannot live
but you don't know what it is
look around you
all you see is stuff
it surrounds you
and you've had enough
(Fmaj Gmin Amin Gmin Cmaj)

[verse]
i once taught a man to fish
then he granted me one wish
but i told him with bitterness
i knew not what to do with his
wish granting power
stronger than a genie 
his face went sour
and he called me a meanie
[verse]
Bbmaj Gmin
fix your gaze up on this beautiful girl
 Fmaj
who is responsible for the power in this world
for she is my daughter
and i am her father
and she's still my little girl

[chorus]
Amin Emaj
building burning dripping down turning
Amin Emaj
way down, way down, way down

[verse]
the gauges are glowing
the power is flowing
and the people turn towards the sky
and they

fix their gaze up on this beautiful girl
who is responsible for the power in this world

of goo
and deja vu
where the only source of light is her

take my hand i'm crumbling under weight
that's just too great for me
and she's still my little girl
[verse 1]
Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj Amin Gmaj Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
in 1987 american airlines saved $40,000 by removing 1 olive from each salad served in first class
Popeye has four nephews and they're names are as follows Pipeye Peepeye Pupeye and then there's poopeye they were in the cartoon but not the comic
 if you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days you will produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
There's a bird in New Zealand called the Kea. It's two feet long and has been known to chew on the rubber strips around car windows

[chorus]
Cmaj Fmaj
Ain't life wonderful?
Ain't life grand
You've got 29 bones 
In your hand!

[verse 2]
Cmaj Amin
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue
Gmaj Fmaj
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit
22 miles an hour can be the speed of rain

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
There are 336 dimples on a golf ball
Clinophobia is the fear of beds
Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in new jersey

[verse 1]
until the 19th Century large solid bricks of tea were use as currency by China Tibet and Mongolia money you can consume imagine that
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache on a standard playing card
I wonder if his lip gets cold
It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on the curb in St. Louis
It's illegal to chew gum in singapore!
 A jiffy is an actual unit of time it means 1//100th of a second
and the longest known flight of a chicken is 1300 jiffy's 

[chorus]
ain't life wonderful?
It's a mad, mad world
We're mostly water
vinegar dissolves pearls

[verse 2]
Forest fires move faster uphill than down hill
America once issued a 5 cent bill
A giraffe can clean it's ear with it's tongue
More people use blue tooth brushes than red ones

Dolphins sleep with one eye open
Porcupines float in water
 Cat urine glows in blacklight
the state of florida's bigger than england
The electric chair was invented by a dentist
A lightening bolt is hotter than the sun
Everyday 20 banks are robbed
The first product with a bar code was wrigleys gum
(No Lyrics)
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
Dmin Cmaj
Dmin Bbmaj Cmaj
Dmin
Bbmaj Cmaj
Bbmaj Cmaj
Fmaj Cmaj
Bbmaj Dmin
Cmaj
Gmin Bbmaj
[verse]
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj Dmin
Rudolph Valentino caused mass hysteria among young women when he died
Frank Sinatra was big among the bobby soxers
Girls in poodle skirts thought he was bonafide
Elvis Presley and James Dean were the real thing
But as you know they died premature
Paul Anka, Frankie Avalon, and Fabian cultivated images so clean and pure
[chorus]
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Just another teen idol
Top of the charts
Some last forever
Some go before they start
[verse]
Tommy Sands played an idol then became one
Ricky Nelson started on radio prime time
Neil Sedaka had two distinct careers
Davy Jones is often voted number one teen idol of all time
Then came the 70s and things really started to heat up
Sean Cassidy, here he is with a beard
Leif Garrett was famous once and then he burned out
Donny Osmond is a Mormon
I think he’s weird
[chorus]
Just another teen idol
Top of the charts
Some last forever
Some go before they start
[bridge]
Fmaj Gmaj Amin Gmaj
Michael Jackson started as an idol
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj Amin
But he transcended that word
The Beatles too were shoved in that direction
But a kind of metamorphosis occurred
Gentlemen, more like boys
Who appear to a teen girl because they are sexual but not threatening
Not hairy, more like peach fuzz
[verse]
New Kids on the Block and of course there’s Menudo
Backstreet Boys and Nsync
The Jonas Brothers
The entire Disney channel
Oh good lord, I think I need a drink
Justin Beiber seems like he’s everywhere
Turn on the TV and there’s that kid
But one day maybe not that long from now
Kids will ask you who he is
[chorus]
Just another teen idol
Top of the charts
Some last forever
Some go before they start
Just another teen idol
Top of the charts
Some last forever
Some go before they start
[chorus]
Bmaj Emaj F#maj
You can get everything you want from E-shopping.com x4
[verse]
Bmaj
Car seats
Back packs
Video Games
Emaj
Power tools
Clothing
F#maj
Printers
Cameras
Hardware
Wet ware
Dinnerware
Drink ware
Routers
Books
And anything else
[chorus]
You can get anything you want from E-shopping.com
You can get everything you want from E-shopping.com x3
Cmaj Bbmaj
It’s been a long, long day of writing songs
Cmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
I think I’ll write another song
Fmaj Bbmaj
It’s been a long, long day of writing songs
E7 Amin
I think I’ll write another song
It’s been a long, long day of writing songs
I think I’ll write another song
It’s been a long, long day of writing songs
I think I’ll write another song
[verse]
Cmaj E7
Christmas is for losers
Fmaj Gmaj
Santa is a shark
Amin E7
Angels never touch me
Fmaj Gmaj
And winter’s very dark
Trees belong in the forest
Elves don’t exist
The North Pole’s a barren wasteland
And Frosty is an existentialist
[chorus]
Fmaj Gmaj
But, Jonathan, yeah Jonathan
What about the time we get to spend with our families huddled around the fire?
Cmaj E7 Amin D7
You won’t find me at Christmas time shopping for some crap
Gmaj
I’d rather take a nap
For my family’s mine at Christmas time
No I don’t need your stuff
I already have enough
[bridge]
Amin
I like toys, and shiny new things
E7
Just as much as the next guy
Fmaj
But the joy that tese things bring
Gmaj
Is like a whisp of clouds in the sky
[verse]
So Christmas is for pansies
Jesus was a Jew
Reindeer aren’t our slaves
And winter makes me blue
Coca cola is dangerous
Pagans worship the trees
Deck the halls with boughs of crap
Santa collects fees
[chorus]
But Jonathan, yeah Jonathan
You can’t sit there and pretend that you don’t love this time of year
Yeah, that’s true
You won’t find me at Christmas time shopping for some crap
I’d rather take a nap
For my family’s mine at Christmas time
No I don’t need your stuff
I already have enough
I already have enough stuff
[verse]
Emaj Bmin Amaj Emaj
i woke up from a party and looked in to the mirror
and what i saw staring back filled me up with fear
i had a treasure map plastered on my forehead
i knew not how i got it must have been when i was in bed

it seemed to lead me to this tree in a field nearby
i walked there with no shoes on because i didn't have any
i had lost them at the party anyway when i got to the tree
there was a gremlin like creature waiting for me

who dare disturbs me the gremlin creature said
disturbs you i exclaimed i have this map on my forehead
he examined me closely and then took me by the hand
he touched a piece of bark and the tree split in half

hidden within the tree was a door made out of glass
he led me through it and we appeared in a great hall
there were fantastic creatures every which way i looked
this faerie looking woman came and kissed me on my map

at the end of the hall sat a king looking old and wise
he told me that the map was just a hoax 
he said i should probably just turn around and go back now
because there wasn't anything in this world for me anyhow

no i yelled forcefully which made everyone jump a bit
no i said softer i'm happy to have found this place
the faerie looking woman was looking kind but sort of sad
ok said the king we were afraid you would say that

next thing i knew i was in a gladiatorial arena
there was big dragon there and an ostrich for me to ride
i picked up my sword and hopped aboard and slayed the dragon quick as ice
a booming voice came from above and it said very nice

the voice was god and god was glad that i had slayed the dragon
he rewarded me with anything that my little heart desired
to be back in bed i said before the party started
but i want to bring the faeire back because i think she's really cool


[verse]
Bbmaj Fmaj Dmin Ebmaj
There's something about this season that's great for misdirection
You're thinking about something and suddenly reflection
Fmaj Bbmaj
what kind of person am i, what kind do i want to be?
where do i fit in, what's waiting out there for me
Dmin Ebmaj
and the christmas songs on the radio don't help
and the tinsel lights everywhere you go don't help
and the sounds of sleigh bells ringing don't help
Dmin Ebmaj Fmaj
and hark the angel singing definitely doesn't help

[chorus]
Bbmaj Fmaj
christmas pudding
Gmin Ebmaj
i'll just eat this christmas pudding
I won't overthink it
take this egg nog drink it
christmas pudding
i'll just eat this chirstmas pudding
i don't even know you
but i will mistletoe you

[verse]
the end of the year approaches and it's time for reassessing
but whether i've grown at all is for anyone to be guessing
there's something in the air that makes me want to change
it's like a mass delusion, we're all feeling kind of strange
and the christmas songs on the radio don't help
and buying gifts for everyone you know don't help
i just want to take a nap but i don't think that would help
cause i'd wake up christmas morning then it's over and it's too late
[verse]
Gmaj Cmaj
there's a doggy on the school bus
Gmaj Dmaj
playing left and right
She's playing catch now with the driver
that doggy's out of sight!

[bridge]
Dmaj
What's that doggy's name?
Cmaj Gmaj
her name is kira mann!
what's that doggy's game
playing as much as she can!
How's that doggy doing
she's doing just fine just fine
What's she got a brewing
Cmaj Dmaj
a soup of epic playtime

[verse]
There's a doggy on the school bus
bark bark bark bark bark
She's barking and barking now
so everyone will play and sing
Cmaj Cmaj7 C7 C6
Nobody knows the origins of boxing day
Dmaj Gmaj
but i don't care
it just sits there
after christmas
before new years
Emin
let's have a party
Bm7
let's stay up late
Amin
boxing day is time
Gmaj
confessing to your crimes
break out Champagne
food to satiate
the knives are very sharp
someone plays a harp

Dmaj Gmaj
i know i could look it up
but i ain't gunnaaa
i'd rather be in the dark
than riding on noah's ark
Dmaj F#min
I’ll do it tomorrow x2
Emaj Dmaj
Don’t make me do it today x2
Gmaj Dmaj
I was on the way to doing it
When I got an email
Gmaj Emaj
It was from the prime minister
Bmin Amaj
He was stuck on some detail
And he said
I’ll do it tomorrow x2
Don’t make me do it today x2
When I sat down to do it
Well the doorbell rang
It was the Mormons calling
I invited them in to do their thing
They said
We’ll do it tomorrow x2
Don’t make us do it today x2
Amaj
Then I heard a loud crack
Gmaj
And Death himself appeared
He had long black robes and bone white skin
And a big black beard
Emin
He said he’d gotten permission
Amaj
To take me fishing
Bmin Amaj
In the deep, deep lake of procrastination x2
I’ll do it tomorrow x2
Don’t make me do it today x2
Today
[verse]
Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj
Did you see the porcupine who is going bald?
He looks like Lee Harvey Oswald 
He's married to a chipmunk who's got a loose tooth
and she looks kind of like John Wilkes Booth

[chorus]
Gmaj Cmaj
nothing sadder than a bald porcupine
Who dresses up in nice clothes all the time
Goes to the theatre to watch the ballet
 Emin
And get's assassinated
Up there in heaven he's covered in slime
But that's how it is there all of the time
He walks around naked but with a toupet
 Emin
And no one calls him crazy

[verse]
I've got a headache and it won't go away
I feel like Zach Morris at the end of the day
You've got a headache and you feel lousy 
You're feeling kind of like kelly kapowski

[chorus]
nothing sadder than a bald porcupine
Who can't have nice things cuz he don't have the time
who's got two left feet and wants to be dancing
on the floor in the round
out in the world they call him Moonshine
He lives on a commune where they take out your mind
they remove all the parts that identify fancy
and leave you on the ground
[verse]
Amin
I'm so hungry
E7
I haven't eaten for a thousand years
Dmin
I've cried a thousand blood red tears
E7
And i've wished I would die

The tears fall and stain my feet
Then I faint and hit the cold concrete
I wake up and I'm still alive
And the days go by 

[chorus]
Amin
It's a curse, it's a curse
Dmin
And it's ten times worse
When they carried you out
Cmaj E7
In the big black hearse
And of course and of course
The pale veiled maker 
Fed you the source but she made a mistake with you

[verse]
I'm so lonely
I haven't loved for a thousand years
Shunned by my people with a thousand jeers
They just turn me away
I've wandered far and I've learned much
But all I want is to feel her touch
To be reminded of better days
When I was okay

[verse]
I'm ashamed
A vampire afraid of blood
It's a bad joke in a comedy club
It's a movie plot
Maybe I should write it down
sell the rights and skip town
Build a space ship and make a straight shot
For some galactic parking lot
[verse]
Bmin Amaj
up in the sky
F# Gmaj
scraping by and
Amaj Gmaj
washing away the filth 
Bmin Amaj
my partner fell
F# Gmaj Dmaj
and i'm 44 stories above the guilt

[chorus]
Emaj Dmaj
ready or not i'm not ready at all
Amaj Gmaj
i'm not ready to fall

[verse]
we used to take turns
antiseptic it burned
my nose and stung my eyes
with a bucket of lies
he laughed and joked, he was disguised

[chorus]
ready or not the truth will fall
i'm not ready at all

[bridge]
Amaj F#
she was the only woman that i ever loved
Gmaj Bmin
completely and deeply
and he looked me in the eye as we sat above
and told me, he told me

[verse]
i watched him go 
and the world got slow
i unlatched the safety bar
i didn't hear him hit
but my ears, they split with the sound of the honking cars
i picked up a sponge
and feeling numb
a man playing solitaire
i leaned back
and i felt myself relax
as i drifted through the air

[chorus]
ready or not i'm not ready at all
[verse]
Gmsj Gmaj(4)
Is that really what I look like?
Emin
Is that really who I am?
Cmaj
That's not how I remember
Dmaj
Me I just know that can't be right

Are these my hands I'm seeing
Is this body really mine?
Where did all this come from?
I'm lost in time tonight

[chorus]
Amin 
And i'm trying not to freak out
Dmaj
at how fast each year goes
Gmaj Emin
But the mirror does not reflect
Cmaj Dmaj
what my self reflection froze

[verse]
Are these my steps I'm taking?
My feet beat out a score
Is that me I see running around?
Playing less and working more and more?

I remember being terrified
I remember laughing hard
I've been disconnected
But never by this far before

[chorus]
And i'm trying not to freak out
at how fast each year goes
But the mirror does not reflect
what my self reflection froze

[verse]
Time passes gently 
So soft you barely feel
A kiss upon your rosy cheek
A touch that does reveal a ring

One ring stands out alone
Two rings join and meet
A million rings fade to make
A picture of complete living
Cmin
this is the story of a man named hank
Gmin
he was born, he had his mother to thank
he never ate breakfast cause his mom told him not ta
he was a an evil cowboy alien ninja 

blended kittens for lunch fried puppies for dinner
he was an evil boy, a outlaw a sinner
he was sick of his mom's rules, like eat with a fork
so at the age of 12 he killed her with a spork
Gmaj
When Hank was 13 he married a man named bill
Cmaj Dmaj
He was a serial, serial, serial kill er but
When hank learned gay marriage was illegal
He killed and ate bill so as not to leave a trail

Gmaj Cmaj Amin Dmaj
Hank, you are so bad
Bbmaj Ebmaj Cmin Bbmaj
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
Abmaj
is a really great band
Gmaj
i saw them last night
Cmin
they gave me chills
Bbmaj
made my soul ignite, like

The Family Crest
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
when they play really loud
then they play really soft
when the drums go boom
it gets me off!

The Family Crest
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
they've got great moves
and a string quartet
each song unfolds
a noir vignette like

Gmaj
"hey i've got soul if you want it still
Bbmaj
you need more than you're given
Ebmaj Cmin G
i've got my own now
shake down your boots the evening flies
from your coop you're feeling
i've got my own now
Cmin Gmaj
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
D7
They do it just right
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
The Family Crest
They do it just right
Gmin Fmaj
you don't even know what i would do 
Ebmaj Bbmaj
to make you fall in love with me
A7 D Cmaj
love not like a weight that's bearing down on you
i talking 'bout a love for me that's true
and a love that's loose and free
love not like this dark that i'm peering through

Gmin Dmaj Ebmaj Dmaj
who are you and who am i
Ebmaj
and where did you come from 
Fmaj
and why do you love me?

you don't even know the dance i do
to make you look at me
look not with a pair of hungry eyes
talking bout a look that is all you
a look that really sees
look that makes my chest fall and rise

who are you and who am i
and where did you come from 
and why do you love me?

Bbmaj Fmaj Ebmaj
the days alternate between sun and rain
Fmaj
between sun and rain
and so i celebrate my love i wait my love
for you to say my name
Bbmaj Fmaj
and you say it in the morning
Gmin Ebmaj
and you say it in the evening
and you say it again, you say it again
you don't even know what i would do 
to make you fall in love with me
love not like a weight that's bearing down on you
i talking 'bout a love for me that's true
and a love that's loose and free
love not like this dark that i'm peering through
who are you and who am i
and where did you come from 
and why do you love me?
Fmaj
some dogs surf and some dogs skate
Bbmaj
some dogs are used to promote hate
Cmaj Bbmaj Fmaj (Ebmaj)
some dogs don't do nothing but sit and read
some dogs have jobs, some are unemployed
some dogs trust some are paranoid
a lot of dogs only think about how to breed

Amin
what a dog feels and what a dog wants
Bbmaj
it's hard to know for sure

Fmaj Bbmaj
norman rides his scooter
then uploads the video to his computer
Gmin Bbmaj
then puts it on youtube
then goes on letterman

because he's norman and he rides his scooter
i can't think of many things that are cuter
i want to be like norman all hip and free
that's the way i always wanted to be
norman rides his scooter
then uploads the video to his computer
then puts it on youtube
then goes on letterman
[verse]
Gmin Fmaj Ebmaj Cmin
searing skulking massive hulking beast
don't let him in or he will start to feast
Bbmaj Gmin
on your insecurities 
he takes just what he please
and you're left saying
Cmin Bbmaj Abmaj Gmaj
jeez what can i do?

Abmaj Gmaj
it's no use
Cmaj
trying to hide
tell the truth
he knows when you lie

one touch a look a crutch a book of prayers
you can't appease he needs your hopes and cares
he grows stronger as you fight
as darkness covers light
no matter how bright
what can you do

it's no use trying to hide
he's in pursuit
until you die

Ebmaj Fmaj
but if you let go
Abmaj Bbmaj
if you let go
if you let go
if you let go

Ebmaj Gmin
you can throw him
Abmaj Bbmaj
and change it
a word rearrange it
disenterstrange it
and be a whole person
Ebmaj Gmin Abmaj Bbmaj
just let go and let go
and
[Fmaj Gmin]
{Dmaj Amin] 3x (Cmaj Dmaj)
(No lyrics)
Cmaj Fmaj
inhospitable
man oh man i feel old
 Gmaj
jump through waterfall
and short form haiku
when poetry invites you
to fill in spaces

Amin
so fill it in
Fmaj
fill it in
Gmaj Cmaj
and you will begin
so fill it in
fill it in
and you will begin
Emaj
to make up your own damn songs
Amaj Emaj
there's so much happening in the world
C#min Dmaj
and I can't say anything about it
Amaj Emaj Dmaj
without feeling like an idiot
i wish i had something profound
or interesting to say
but all i'm getting are these words

Amaj Emaj Dmaj
and this boring melody

there's always so much happening in the world
that if i wrote something specific
i'd lock that song to a place and time
which in one sense is pretty cool 
but in another sense is pretty lame
meanwhile people are dying 
and i sing this boring melody

Emaj
if i were a better writer
or a true freedom fighter
or the fluid in a lighter
Dmaj
i could sing

but i'm just me
and i sing this boring melody
this boring melody

just sing what's on your mind
and eventually you'll find
someday you'll have something to say
and you'll be ready to play it
you'll be ready to say it
even if for now all you got is one long boring melody
[verse]
Gmaj Dmaj6 Emin Dmaj
the fate of the world depends on who you love
Cmaj Dmaj Gmaj
so you better choose now and defend that choice
water flows down and that's enough
to sweep away all the other boys

[chorus]
Dmaj
all the other boys
Cmaj Gmaj
come offering machine guns
they destroy
anything with feelins'

Gmaj Dmaj
and it isn't much of a choice
Emin Cmaj
if you don't speak it with your voice
Gmaj Dmaj
this heart doesn't beat inside
Gmaj
all the other boys

[verse]
a woman sits upon the throne alone
an image of sanctity and poise
love isn't born so much as it's grown
big enough to eclipse all the other boys
[chorus]
all the other boys
come offering machine guns
they destroy
anything with feelins'
and it isn't much of a choice
if you don't speak it with your voice
this heart don't beat inside
all the other boys

[verse]
you prefer the wilderness at dusk
to cities full of zombies and of noise
the moon gets closer and you feel the rush
tugging you away from all the other boys
[chorus]
all the other boys
come offering machine guns
they destroy
anything with feelins'
and it isn't much of a choice
if you don't speak it with your voice
this heart don't beat inside
all the other boys

[verse]
Bbmaj Ebmaj
out here on the prairie
Fmaj Gmin
i have been so lonely
Bbmaj Fmaj
my husband disappeared
Ebmaj Fmaj Cmaj
15 years ago
Ebmaj Fmaj
when you're an armadillo
Cmaj Ebmaj
it's a hard pill to swallow
Bbmaj Gmin
and one day i heard, "hello"
Ebmaj Fmaj Gmin
and i looked around
Ebmaj Fmaj Bbmaj
and i heard, "no you gotta look down"

he looked just like my husband
but he was very tiny
the desert sun was shining 
his back was kind of shiny
but when he spoke again i knew
that he was not my husband
i ask him what his name was
and his friends joined him to sing
and his friends joined him to sing
[chorus]
Bbmaj 
they said we're armadillidiidae
Ebmaj
armadillidiidae
Bbmaj Fmaj
armadillidiidae
Bbmaj
better known colloquially
Ebmaj
as pill bugs, pill bugs
Bbmaj Fmaj
armadillidiidae
Gmin Ebmaj Fmaj
and we're sorry about your husband
but sometimes it helps to sing
we're armadillidiidae
armadillidiidae
armadillidiidae
better known colloquially
as pill bugs, pill bugs
armadillidiidae

[verse]
D C Bbmaj C
for years and years and years i've done my duty
and far be it from me to complain
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj C
but again and again and again princess is kidnapped
D C Bbmaj Amaj
and every single time i take the blame

Dmin Bbmaj
i'm fed up with your incompetence 
Fmaj Cmaj
and how you take it out on me
if you would just kill him
instead of showing mercy 

[chorus]
Fmaj
he's a monster
Cmaj
and you let him get away
Dmin
she's kidnapped again
Bbmaj
and somehow it's my fault
i'm just a toadstool
you are the hero
do your job

[Fmaj Amin Bbmaj]
[verse]
If i were big and strong i would protect her
as it is i do all that i can
i sit and watch you fumble through the levels
she's in another castle you stupid man

i dream of the day when i will be free
when I'll get out of here
marry toadette start a family
little sopres flying everywhere
[chorus]
he's a monster
and you let him get away
she's kidnapped again
and somehow it's my fault
i'm just a toadstool
you are the hero
do your job

Emin
from every angle bearing
C
squeezing and oh it's scary
B
not just ordinary
D
everyday trouble

off of a mountain falling
freely to see appalling
space in between the sorry
state of the union

[E B C]
Gmaj D
i'm lost when i can't find a reason
 Emin
the corner of my brain
Cmaj
taunting and teasin'
B E
It’s not there, it’s not fair
Gmaj Dmaj Emin Cmin B
I know what going do next year
Gmaj Fmaj Cmaj
we're all just monkeys 
Gmaj Amin
who learned to dance
who unlocked singing
who discovered pants

Emin Cmaj Amin Dmaj
years of evolution as we learned to see
death is coming for us and this isn't our party

Gmaj
let's embrace the monkey 
Cmaj
that lives inside us all
Gmaj
let’s embrace the monkey
Dmin
however big or small
let’s embrace the monkey
let off some steam
let’s embrace the monkey
a flurry of furry dreams

we're all just monkeys
whose ancestors lived
with better tools
who learned to forgive

one thousand religions
all claim the final truth
we're all just monkeys
look around you for proof
Cmaj Amin
i live in the internet
Gmaj Fmaj
where it never rains
where the wild run free
making fantastic claims
Amin
a puddle of wires 
E7
a tangle of tubes
Fmaj Gmaj
a networked salad of verbal abuse
i live in the internet
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
and it's a rockin' good time

i live in the internet
and i live for cheap
i never get hungry
and i never have to sleep
a pile of leaves
blown by the wind
democracy
in a den of sin
i live in the internet
and i'm never alone

Amin
where have all the good men gone
E7
gone to the ether everyone
Fmaj
when will they ever learn
Gmaj
when will they ever learn?

i live in the internet
it smells like mud
solid state or moving parts
information blood
a cloud of words
in a sea of me
identity or 
anonymity
i live in the internet
and it’s now or never
I live in the internet
and i'll never leave
Cmaj Fmaj
Lizzie Cuevas
Cmaj Gmaj
Happy Birthday
Cmaj Fmaj Amin Gmaj
Let us help you celebrate it the right way
Like it rockin’
Playing video games
And let me know if I mispronounce your name
Cmaj Fmaj
Happy Birthday
Cmaj Gmaj
Lizzie Cuevas
Happy Birthday
Lizzie Cuevas
Happy Birthday
Lizzie Cuevas
E7 Amin
Someday you’ll marry masterchief
Fmaj Gmaj
I know this to be true
And sail around the glowing stars
Just so true a view
And on the game’s radar
Well, a wild thing occurs
It’s orbit flowers sent by a secret admirer
So Happy Birthday
Lizzie Cuevas
Happy Birthday
Lizzie Cuevas
Happy Birthday
Lizzie Cuevas
Happy Birthday
Emaj
i'm just a shy guy
Dmaj
a guy that's really shy
and i don't know why
i just want to run and hide
lions and tigers and bears oh my

no spotlight 
shining down upon my life
and i don't know why
i just want to sit and cry
i'm just a guy that's really shy

shy shy shy shy
guy guy guy guy
shy shy shy shy
guy guy guy guy
shy shy shy shy
guy guy guy guy
shy shy shy shy
guy guy guy guy
Amaj Dmaj Emaj
Keep my soul like a rhinestone ring
Amaj F#min
You wear it everywhere you go
Dmaj Emaj Amaj
But it don’t mean a thing to you
You treat my heart like an old guitar
You play it every single night
But you play too hard for me
Dmaj Amaj
I was sitting by the ocean
F#min Emaj
Wishing for a long time ago
When we’d lay in bed for hours
B7 Emaj
Tuning out the world and laying low
Amaj Emaj
Baby, please forgive me
C#min Dmaj
If I can stay too long
Cus the time I was glad you found me
i was so lost and alone
F#min Emaj Amaj
lost and alone
[F#min Emaj F#min Bmin]
you can only take so much from me
before I start to break
but it’s gonna be alright
cus I love you
and that’s okay
I haven’t got the time to waste
To sit and wait for you
Now I’m sitting by the ocean
Feeling insignificant and small
Gassed up and it’s double parked
But time is slowing to a crawl
Baby, please forgive me
If I can stay too long
Cus the time I was glad you found me
i was so lost and alone
lost and alone
Amin
Hey Ivory!
Yeah Jonathan?
You're Vegan, right?
Yes, that's right, I am!
Can I ask you some questions, then?
Sure, Mann, of course you can! 
Are you ready for the questions, then?
What are you waiting for?

Dmin Amin
Where do you get your protein, protein, protein
E7 Amin
Only meat has protein so where do you get your protein

Actually lots of things have protein: Beans have protein
Greens have protein, fruits and nuts have protein,
Gmaj Fmaj
grains and seeds have protein
and here's the thing that's so obscene:
We don't need so much protein
Most people eat more than they need
Well, I never knew that before
It’s true

Where do you get your calcium? Only milk has calcium
Healthy bones from cow's milk, calcium, I drink it, yum

Lots of plants have calcium, and lots and lots of calcium
And cholesterol, well they have none of the fat found in milk

Gmaj Amin
Calcium, no fat? No fat.
Greens give me calcium? Lots of calcium

What about our ancestors? Didn't they eat meat?
If I wasn't supposed to eat it, then why do I have these teeth?

Do your teeth look like a carnivores? All sharp and pointy, like?
No you gotta cook your meat over a roaring fire light!
Furthermore, all carnivores act on instinct
But humans make choices, they consider and they think
If humans of old ate meat
It was a choice not a necessity 

If everyone were vegan, what about all the cows
and all the gajillion chickens living on farms now?
If everyone turned vegan it wouldn't happen over night
and demand would just decline and so would the supply.

Isn't vegan food just bland and gross?
No! It's yummier than most!
You care about animals more, you do!
I care about animals, people too!
Aren't vegan men weak and girly?
I find vegan men quite sexy!
B12, so there, haha!
B12's from bacteria!

Where do you get your protein? Plants!
Where do you get calcium? Plants!
Where do you get your iron? Plants!
Where do you get your zinc? Plants!
Where do you get your protein? Plants!
Where do you get calcium? Plants!
Where do you get your iron? Plants!
Where do you get your zinc? Plants!


Hey Ivory!
Yeah Jonathan?
I think I get it now.
You do?
Yeah, it's all about plants.
Yep, that's pretty much it.
OK, cool, glad we cleared it up!
Me too! Let's have a snack!
OK.
Gmaj Cmaj Dmaj Cmaj G6
I'm sorry if i make too much noise
i just get excited when i'm making a song
Emin Cmaj
and i hear drums in my head going boom boom 
and i hear piano too going ding ding ding
Amin Dmaj
and i want to make it real

Gmaj Cmaj Gmaj
and i love this space
and coming here every day
writing another song
and writing another song
Amin
the acoustics are great
Emin
but they permeate 
Cmaj Gmaj
and so i''m sorry if I make too much noise
Gmaj Cmaj Dmaj Cmaj G6
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry

Amin
i know that you got work 
Emaj
that you got to do
Cmaj
and my noise making
Dmaj
is annoying you
and i'm sorry
I really am sorry
I’m sorry
I really am sorry
Cmaj Amin Fmaj Gmaj
the rain is relentless and the country’s at war
again though we were in two before
it's easy to forget when you're so far away
Cmaj Gmaj Cmaj
from the bombs that are falling over there
the rain keeps falling and i can't get dry
and the bombs are falling down from the sky
and my stomach hurts and i barely think about
the bombs that are falling over there

Fmaj Cmaj
the bombs that are falling over there
Gmaj Amin
when i think about it i do care
Fmaj Gmaj
i try to stay informed and i know that i'm against it
Amin Gmaj Fmaj
but then i go outside and the rain is relentless

the rain won't quit, i got stuff to do
i didn't get enough sleep and so i'm tired to boot
man my problems seem so small
next to the bombs that are falling over there
the bombs that are falling over there
when i think about it i do care
i try to stay informed and i know that i'm against it
but then i go outside and the rain is relentless
The rain is relentless
the rain is relentless
the rain is relentless
the rain is relentless
The bombs keep falling over there
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
I have a really bad stomach ache
And I have a really bad stomach ache
I have a really bad stomach ache
And I have a really bad stomach ache
Cmaj Fmaj
when I'm old because I don't feel so good
Amin Gmaj
when the cold rain falls and washes away
Dmin Fmaj
all the grease and pain you got under the hood
Amin Dmaj
you turn off the car and lay low for a day 
Fmaj
or two

when the frequency is a soft low hum
and it's in your mind, it’s always a part
of the rhythm you feel a drum drum drum
in the deep dark red of your beating heart

Amin E7
that's when you know that you've come to the right place
Fmaj Gmaj
that's when you know you haven't been misinformed
that's when you know that you're going the right way
two feet on the ground and your head in the storm

when the dark comes creeping and you can't sleep
when the girl who's sleeping is a secret you keep
when the world's left guessing and you're not gonna tell
you saw her undressing and your heart swelled

when on the steps of Capitol you plead your case
to men not worth the wind in your lungs
when they butter you up and then spit in your face 
what will it take to get your song sung
that's when you know that you've come to the right place
that's when you know you haven't been misinformed
that's when you know that you're going the right way
two feet on the ground and your head in the storm

Dmaj Bmin
Jeanmarie Genout 
Dmaj Amaj
you live within a stones throw 
of a mighty row 
Gmaj Amaj
of night clubs, oh

F#min
didn't you know
Bmin
that this apartment you found
Amaj
was near all of this
F#7
and that night clubs are loud

jeanmarie genout 
is your heart made of sour kraut?
your sensitive ears
fill us all up with fear

like Ebeneezer Grinch
you're a mean 'ol committee 
you want to squeeze and to pinch
all the fun out of this city

Dmaj Amaj
but if you don't like noise
F#min Gmaj
you shouldn't have moved
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj
to a neighborhood full of night clubs
the night clubs where there
you got the whole city to choose from
Dmaj Amaj
i don't think you picked the right place 
Gmaj
For your taste, jeanmarie

now listen:
Emin Bmin
I know that when i'm trying to sleep
Amaj Gmaj
and when i got things to do in the morning
a noisy neighbor can bother me
and boy it can be annoying

F#min
but if the reports are true
Bmin
you make nightly calls
Amaj Gmaj
this just borders on nuts
you live next to a bunch of night clubs
jeanmarie you live next to a bunch of night clubs, okay? So, yeah.


jeanmarie jenout
these clubs don't noise pollute
in every dispute
they've passed every test

i'm sure you're a nice lady
so i think it would behoove
you to start looking around
so you can pack up and move

(I think it might be that time)

if you don't like noise
you shouldn't have moved
to a neighborhood full of night clubs
the night clubs where there
you got the whole city to choose from
i don't think you picked the right place
Jeanmarie,
for your tastes
Jeanmarie
jeanmarie Genout
Emaj G#min Amaj Bmaj
She had sex with her husband in an MRI machine
Emaj Bmaj Amaj Bmaj
in the name of science 
she learned about cadavers as crash test dummies
in the name of science

Emaj
mary roach
Amaj
has a unique approach 
F#min
to science reporting
C#min
it's never cold or boring
Amaj Bmaj
always funny and curious 

she'll tell you ten things about orgasms that you didn't know
in the name of science
she studied court cases involving ghosts 
in the name of science

Mary Roach
has a unique approach 
to science reporting
it's never cold or boring
always funny and curious
Emaj C#min
have you read her books? they're hilarious
Amaj Bmaj
easy to read and informative
C#min Amaj
from penis implants to the size of the clitoris
Bmaj
she covers lots of stuff that you're interested in

when you read her books you will find yourself 
recounting to your friends the stories she tells
from sex in space to attempts to find the soul
she covers lots of stuff you won't find anywhere else

women who orgasm no external stimuli 
in the name of science 
beating heart cadavers being buried alive
in the name of science
Mary Roach
has a unique approach 
to science reporting
it's never cold or boring
she's always funny and curious
oh yeah, Mary Roach
Well, let it be known let the story be told
Iggy was a friend of mine
Little white rat with a heart of gold
Iggy was a friend of mine
Well, his eyes were red and his fur was white
Iggy was a friend of mine
He loved to eat dates and he would never bite
Iggy was a friend of mine
Iggy was a friend of mine
Iggy was a friend of mine
I know we’ll meet up somewhere down the line
Iggy was a friend of mine
One time we thought that he ran away
Iggy was a friend of mine
But he came back and he was back to stay
Iggy was a friend of mine
I don’t know where he came from, don’t know where he was born
Iggy was a friend of mine
But he died happy, safe and warm
Iggy was a friend of mine
Iggy was a friend of mine
Iggy was a friend of mine
I know we’ll meet up somewhere down the line
Iggy was a friend of mine
Cmaj Fmaj
The flexible tissue found in the interior of bones
Gmaj
Constitutes 4% of the total bodyweight of humans
It’s a vital part of the lymphatic system
And in large bones it produces new blood cells
Cmaj Fmaj
Bone marrow
Bone marrow
Dmin Amin
It’s extremely important the your bone marrow is healthy
Fmaj Gmaj
But sometimes things can go wrong
Cmaj Fmaj
And if they go wrong, then you need a transplant
Amin Gmaj
But first you gotta find a match
And sometimes that can be difficult
And that’s where the point of the song is at
Cmaj
Join the bone marrow registry
Fmaj
It’s simple, quick and easy
Amin
All the gotta do is swab at you
Gmaj
And you could save a life
And if you’re ever a match
They’ll give you barely a scratch
And just like that you’ll be saving a life
Bone marrow
Bone marrow
Bone marrow
Bone marrow
Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
they say money is the root of all evil
Gmaj Amaj
and i often think i believe 'em
Dmaj Bmin Amaj
cause money tends bring me down

creativity is the opposite of money
but they're often intertwining 
it's a fact you can't avoid

Gmaj Amaj Dmaj
Michelangelo had the pope
Bmin Amaj Gmaj
Michael Jackson he had Sony
Bmin Gmaj Amaj
Religions and multinational corporations
But the rest of us have each other
To support and to rely on 
To bring to fruition 
what we're undertaking 

Dmaj
kick kick kick
Gmaj Amaj Dmaj
come on do the kickstarter 
let's stretch and make
and kick harder
Bmin Amaj Dmaj
let the creativity free
kick kick kick
let's all do the kickstarter
let's create and kick smarter
i'll kick you and you’ll kick me
i'll kick you and you’ll kick me
i'll kick you and you’ll kick me

Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
Kick it one time
Kick it two times
It’s a kick in the pants
Let’s play kick the can
And ain’t that a kick in the head

Jesus cast the money people out of the temple
because he saw their work as evil
he called them a den of thieves 
if i could rid the world of money
wave a wand of collaboration
i would do it in a heartbeat

leonardo had ludovico
lady gaga she’s got interscope
rich people and multinational corporations
But the rest of us have each other
To support and to rely on 
To bring to fruition 
what we're undertaking 

kick kick kick
come on do thekickstarter 
let's stretch and make
and kick harder
let the creativity free
kick kick kick
let's all do the kickstarter
let's create and kick smarter
i'll kick you and you can kick me




kick it one time
kick it two times
it's a kick in the pants
let's play kick the can
I’ll kick you and you’ll kick me
Cmaj Gmaj
Nobody expects
Amin Fmaj
Alanis Morissette and a Tyrannosarus Rex
wearing x-ray specs
chains around their necks
they’ve come to pay respects
to the dead brontosaurus and his bodyfriend Boris
They will sing in the chorus
And now’s here’s the chorus
Amin Gmaj
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Fmaj Amin
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
If I had to make a bet on Alanis Morissette
Or a Tyrannosaurus Rex, I bet that she would wreck
With baller wizard tech
She’s send him straight to heck
Where all the writhing masses would take his x-ray glasses
And dip them in molasses and feed them to the devil
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Alanis Morissette ,Tyrannosarus Rex
Fmaj Dmin
i was on my way
Fmaj Cmaj
but i was over taken
Bbmaj Cmaj
by faceless strangers
a band of angels
Dmin Cmaj Bbmaj
who carried me 

they touched me with their hands
i fell i could not stand
they picked me up
when i was no one
they carried me away

Dmin Cmaj
i thought i was awake
i thought i was asleep
Bbmaj
the hand knew how to take
Cmaj
the hands knew how to keep

i was on the road
when my heart exploded
faceless strangers
a band of angels
carried me away
Bbmaj Ebmaj
Put your best geek on
Grab your cape and grab your wand
Gmin Fmaj
Pretend you’re from Nicon
Ebmaj
You’re awesome
Fmaj
We’re going to Wondercon, we’re going to Wondercon
You were born this way
You were born to nerd
This is your field day
You will nerd out undeterred
You’re a strange bird
You’re going to Wondercon, you’re going to Wondercon
Bbmaj Ebmaj
We are going, we are going there
Going to Wondercon
Gmin Fmaj
Nerds of every shape and size
Nerds of every stripe and kind
Ebmaj
They’re all here
Dmin Fmaj
Letting it all hang out
Now it’s cool to be a nerd
But not in the way that we are
They still think that we’re absurd
They still think that we’re bizarre
They’re right
We’re going to Wondercon, we’re going to Wondercon
We’re going to Wondercon, we’re going to Wondercon
Bbmaj Gmin Fmaj Ebmaj
Once upon a time there was a sun, there was a moon
And then the sun it disappeared one afternoon
The moon decided it was her turn to rule the sky
And so she took her place above us, the people wiped their eyes
Moon, oh moon you’re the ruler of the night
And even in the day, in my heart you are still bright
Moon, oh moon I pine, I long and I hope
I want to reach and hold you with a ladder made of rope
The stars, they didn’t know where they should belong
With the sun and his fleeting glory or the night so long
The darkness said, “I need you to cut through me, to cut through me”
The light said, “I’m too bright and you don’t belong where I be”
Moon, oh moon you’re the ruler of the night
And even in the day, in my heart you are still bright
Moon, oh moon I pine, I long and I hope
I want to reach and hold you with a ladder made of rope
With a ladder made of rope, with a ladder made of rope
Fmaj Dmin Fmaj Dmin
Who will remain When the night turns to dawn
Gmin Cmaj Gmin Cmaj
Who will remain who will sing your songs, Tell me now,
who will remain still knows how to dance
Gmin Cmaj Dmin Gmin Cmaj
Who will remain, but the woulds shouldn’t and can’t
Fmaj Dmin Gmin Cmaj
I’m standing on the precipice, whispering to myself
Dmin Bbmaj Cmaj
Halfway between heaven and the void
All the girls that I never kissed, come back to me now
As bridges that I built and then destroyed
But who will remain when the night turns to dawn
Who will remain who will sing your songs,
Who will remain, still knows how to dance
Who will remain, but the won’ts shouldn’t and can’t
One thousand screaming architects, the whole world is on fire
Wont someone come and take away their guns?
There’s no loyalty that love protects when the riot is your choir
No religion that doesn’t melt beneath the sun
Who will remain When the night turns to dawn
Who will remain who will sing your songs, Tell me,
who will remain still knows how to dance
Who will remain, but the wont’s shouldn’t and can’t
Amin Dmin Fmaj Emaj
I wake up in the woods, I don’t know where I am
Amin Dmin Cmaj Emaj
The feeling is familiar, like I’ve been here before
I take a step and then another and..
The forest presses closer into a silent roar
Dmin Cmaj Fmaj Amin Gmaj
Don’t know who I was yesterday, or who I’ll be tomorrow
But something has happened here that fills the air with sorrow
I’m in limbo
I will die a million deaths oh so gruesomely
To solve the mystery that this world contains
As this woods gives way and fades to factories
I hear the rhythm of this world and It starts to rain
Don’t know who I was yesterday, or who I’ll be tomorrow
But something has happened here that fills the air with sorrow
I’m in limbo and I don’t know how I got here, how to get out
Hello, hello, I’m in limbo, is there anybody out there?
I’m in limbo and I don’t know how I got here, how to get out
Hello, hello, I’m in limbo, is there anybody out there?
Don’t know who I was yesterday, or who I’ll be tomorrow
But something has happened here that fills the air with sorrow
I’m in limbo
Fmaj Dmin Fmaj Dmaj Cmaj Bbmaj Fmaj
I’ve got to find my other mind, don’t know where I put the thing
I left it in the hallway on the second floor beneath the model of a dragon’s wing
Fmaj Gmin
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Amin Cmaj
Loot doot doo doot doo
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Loot doodan doo doot doo
Walking weird with a perfect beard
I’m a purebred and a mutt
She makes me sweat like Boba Fett flying back to Jabba’s hut
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Loot doot doo doot doo
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Loot doodan doo doot doo
Park the van by the alley tin can in the order of the Phoenix flat
Who told you that the riders in the dawn were gonna startle me and look like that
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Loot doot doo doot doo
Loot doot doo doo doot doo
Loot doodan doo doot doo
Cmaj
this place is crowded
Gmaj
i need a break
Amin Fmaj
give me time to think and a solitary place
the lines are getting longer
it's clear i don't belong
you're the empire state
and i'm king kong

Dmin Amin
take me i'm yours tonight
Dmin Gmaj
i won't say a word won't put up a fight
just let me melt into the dark
bury me naked in the yard

Cmaj Gmaj
this town ain't big enough
Amin Fmaj
this town ain't strong enough
this town ain't hard enough
but i can't break free

in the morning i am all ablaze
with hot ideas and cold x rays
in the night i'm a floppy mess
i'm the beating heart that's in my chest

just leave me all alone
there's misconceptions i have to own
look away before i turn to salt
i won't be anybody's fault 

this town ain't big enough
this town ain't strong enough
this town ain't hard enough
but i can't break free

everybody thinks that they know it all
from the golden gate to the great china wall
i know enough to know i don't
the rain falls and the thunder groans

i'm just an insect who
fell in love with you
warm nights and a glowing face
and running out of space

action's worth a million words
words are air until something occurs
when i look up too the sky
i watch the days go flying by
Amaj Emaj
Erin Lyman where did the magician go
F#min Dmaj
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know
Amaj Emaj Dmaj
Off to wherever retired mascots go
But if he were he I bet he’d say
“happy birthday, Erin”
and then he’d chuckle “hahahahaha”
F#min Dmaj
you’ve got a beautiful voice, you play the accordion
Emaj
and you wrote me a birthday song with your boyfriend band Marison
Amaj Dmaj Emaj Amaj
happy birthday, Erin yours is the day after mine
F#min Dmaj Amaj Emaj
we grew up a few miles apart and also separated by time
and then through the magic of the internet and through the smallness of the world, oh yeah
Dmaj Emaj Dmaj Emaj
your boyfriend joined my band and you became my friend
so happy birthday, Erin, happy birthday
Dmaj Amaj Emaj
happy birthday, Erin Lyman
happy birthday, Erin Lyman
happy birthday, Erin Lyman
happy birthday, Erin Lyman
Cmaj Fmaj
Just some cars and then a car hits another car
Cmaj Gmaj
And then this car goes and look at how the cars all smash into each other
There’s this road and then a train comes and it knocks the car over
A big blind turn, look out you’re going to go off into the dirt
Look out there’s a train comin, oh don’t get stuck on the tracks
It’s a 4-way intersection, why you gonna go and drive like that?
Why you gonna go and drive like that?
Why you gonna go and drive like that?
It’s a roundabout, look out look out roundabout
Roundabout, big pile up on the freeway no
Trains, trains are comin and they’re gonna knock you over
Change of scenery
Now we’re on the farm, cars going by
You stop by the side of the road
To admire the scenery
Sitting there’s danger and the thoughts travel to your feet
And the danger, it takes a while for the thoughts to travel to your feet
And for you to hit the brake, it takes a while
It takes a while for the danger to relate to your feet
Look how long it takes, look how long it takes so
Fmaj Cmaj
look out when you’re drivin, look out when you’re drivin
look out when you’re drivin, look out when you’re drivin look out
see how long it takes for you to stop, look out when you’re drivin look out
see how long it takes for you to stop, look out, when you’re drivin, look out
Fmin Ebmaj Dbmaj Cmaj
I’m a diabetes time bomb because I love to eat sweets
I wish that I could stop on, but I’m addicted
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh
Cookies and cakes and pies and pastries
Why did we invent things so tasty
I’m like the rat that just keeps pushing the button
Til I die
I’m a diabetes time bomb
Tick, tick tick tick tick
My palate goes number while my stomach gets thick
Emaj G#min C#min Amaj Bmaj
in the middle of the bailout freakout giveaway
among the banks and so called failed institutions
sat the wife of the chairman of morgan stanley
and the widow of a morgan stanley president

for reasons known only to un elected "officials"
making decisions unencumbered by laws or by conscience
these two wall street wives who are rich beyond measure
were given 220 million of tax payer dollars

Amaj G#min
Susan Karches and Christy Mack
F#min G#min
Are you ever gonna pay us back?
You are rich beyond our wildest dreams
 Bmaj
Yet the fed lent you money in our names

Emaj Dmaj
It's the greatest heist in history
Amaj Emaj
these two rich women who have more money
Than everyone I know and they're families combined
And her husband who's the chairman of morgan stanely
got 2 trillion for bringing the country to it's knees
could they possibly see that objectively it's wrong?
Amaj Dmaj7 Emaj
Fruit bat Fred was taken in by the vampire bats when he was just a little baby bat
Amaj Emaj
And all the other bats made fun of him
But fruit bad Fred only liked to eat fruit, fruit, fruit
All the other bats ate meat that wasn’t dead
So they thought he was a very strange brut
Dmaj Amaj
One day, fruit bad Fred ran away
And he met a wizard sitting on a pony
Dmaj Emaj
The wizard, he told Fred
That no matter what the other bats said
He could be the bat he wanted to be
He was free to eat fruit, and to be fruity
Fruit bat Fred, he went back the vampire bats
He made them a fruit salad, the said “well, how do you like that”
Fruit bat Fred made a lot of friends this way
Because they loved the salad and they all lived in harmony
The wizard, he told Fred
That no matter what the other bats said
He could be the bat he wanted to be
He was free to eat fruit, and to be fruity
Amaj Emaj
Be fruity, oh oh
Amaj Dmaj
Be fruity, oh oh
Be fruity, oh oh
Be fruity
Amaj/6 Amaj/5 Amaj/7 Amaj/6
I just preordered Portal 2
Excited to play it, oo oo oo
Portal was my game of the year
Perfect game, and I mean that sincere
Dmaj Emaj F#min Emaj Dmaj
Come in over here, and you go out over there
And if you don’t complete the test, well you’re not going anywhere
The writing’s perfect, the puzzles were fun
Teach you how to use the Portal gun
The Aperture Science Handheld Portal device
The Aperture Science Handheld Portal device
Come in over here, and you go out over there
And if you don’t complete the test, I said you’re not going anywhere
Glado says you’re not going anywhere
Don’t be fooled by the tone of this song
I’ll put Portal 2 in and I’ll be banging a gong
And I can’t wait for Jonathan Colton’s new song
And I can’t wait for Jonathan Colton’s new song
Come in over here, and you go out over there
And if you don’t complete the test Glado says you’re not going anywhere
I said you’re not going anywhere
F#min Emaj Dmaj
And I just preordered it
Yeah I preordered Portal 2
Amaj
Yes, I did
Amaj
i took my wampa for a walk
Dmaj Amaj
on a clear hoth day
Bmin Emaj Amaj
and we passed by imperial drones
Bmin
and stopped to say hello
F#min
they were looking for the truth
Dmaj
in snow and rebel forces
Emaj
i looked and i saw luke
Dmaj Emaj Amaj
riding six white horses towards the sun
he said the battle for the planet has begun
he said in many ways i am my father's son
Dmaj Emaj
i won't carry a gun

i took my wampa for a walk
his fleece was white as snow
he told me he was sick of the routine
scare rip kill
he knew that there must
be more to life than this
and then out of the dust
leia came and kissed me on the mouth
which increased my metaclorine count
she told me what the war was all about
together we rode south

i took my wampa for a walk
the snow got thick and blue
in the storm i saw a house
we knocked thrice on the door
palpation he answered
he invited us inside
he was suffering from cancer
and mortally wounded pride 
in his face i saw jekyll i saw hyde
a glimpse that he quickly brushed aside
he sent us back out side
Amin?
This is how I feel
This is how I feel
Amaj
I wish I felt like this
But this is how I feel
Emaj
I got a fever
Amaj
The cat is meowing
I got a fever
And now I’m gonna be sleeping
Dmaj
Fever on a plane
C#maj
Fever on a plane
Fever on a plane
Fever on a plane causes pain
Fever on a plane, fever on a plane
Fever on a plane, causes pain
Ibuprofen breakdown
Fever on a plane causes pain
Fever on a plane causes so much pain
Fever on a plane causes pain
Fever on a plane causes so much pain
Halls breakdown
Ohhhh ohhh ohhh
Thermometer Breakdown
Outro.
Cmin Abmaj
My cough has gotten worse
And then I spit up phlegm
My cough has gotten worse
And then I cough again
Oh God
It sucks
I really don’t like being sick at all
Got the flu
Boo
Ay ay ay ay
I’m tired of being sick
And I don’t want to be sick anymore
Okay? Okay.
Amaj Dmaj Amaj
I’ve had the flu for a few days for the first time in a long time
Lying on my back, not moving and feeling like I am dying
Watching movies on Netflix, drinking tea and H2O
As the virus and my antibodies fight for it, blow by blow
Dmaj Emaj
Fight for it, blow by blow
I’m going crazy feeling cooped up and forgotten
The world goes on without me and my ears filled up with cotton
I peak through the blinds and see business as usual
I open up the door and gee, the feeling is powerful
The feeling is powerful
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
I haven’t got no appetite
And this cough is a rusty nail
Plunged into my lungs and then twisted and blown up to the size of a whale
My neck hurts from sleeping wrong
And I’m trying hard to breathe
I take my temperature and it’s higher, so high that you wouldn’t believe
So high that you wouldn’t believe
Another crappy movie I don’t have the energy for something good
I’ll just watch Arnold kill some dudes way down in the neighborhood
I open up a window, then I open two
I look up from my computer and I think about me and you,
And I think about me and you
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
People will try to tell you
All kinds of things that they know aren’t true
Most of the time they’re trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do
I think God was lonely in that garden so long ago
And I think he guarded jealously the consciousness and ego
His consciousness and ego
Well Adam, he accepted it he was fearful and devout
But Eve suspected something was up, she thought she might be missing out
Cus low inside the garden, there were no seasons or pleasure or pain
And when the gates shut behind them, they smelled the spring time rain
I said they smelled the springtime rain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Springtime rain, a- a- ain
Springtime rain
Amaj C#min
Don’t know nothing about nothing
Bmin Emaj
Don’t got no time to play no games
Wasn’t me who walked in the garden
I didn’t give nothing no names
All of the pieces that were here from the first
Fell down together for a two hundred dollar purse
But I don’t know nothing about nothing
And I never ask, so I’ll never get hurt
Sometimes a stranger on a lonely boulevard
Doesn’t mean danger so much as a ride in a fancy car
Tell your man I said it’s time to get while the getting’s good
We’ll roll on down to 4th St and swallow the neighborhood
Don’t know nothing about nothing
And it’s not like I ever could
A signpost is leaning
And the lights are blinking red
Did you come here to tell me that dignity is dead?
Let’s throw up our hands and celebrate the gods of our ancestors
And we’ll always be safe no matter what occurs
But I don’t know nothing about nothing
My head’s just wind and birds
Emaj
Turn a little profit, make a little mold
Bmaj
Put it in a pocket, put it on hold
Amaj
Throw it in the slammer, hit it with a hammer
Bmaj
Dress it up two ways, put pajamas out
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was only kidding
Roll another rock up another hill
Break another leg that won’t sit still
Don’t want to play golf in a three-piece suit
An original, no substitute
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was only kidding
If I was going to break I’d break in the middle
If I was going to change, wouldn’t be so little
On the old marquee there’s a recipe
For Mulligan stew made of you and me
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was only kidding
In the palace at dusk the queen’s alone
The king comes in, his back’s been throne
The prince is tired, the jester’s wild
The treasury doesn’t have the gold required
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was only kidding
On judgment day I’ll go on home
Everyone alive and dead and gone
It doesn’t matter if you say what you believe
We’ve all been granted one reprieve
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was only kidding
I was only
I was kidding
No Rest For The Weary
Song A Day #1567
Amaj F#min Emaj Dmaj
Another position another line in the sand
Another admission we don't understand
No rest for the weary
I see you clearly
A window is broken with an hourglass
Sand is golden and time drifts past
No time like the present it’s what is and what isn’t
The trees are all blooming, the rain has arrived
Business is booming, we're buried alive
No love lost in combat
Lovelorn in all that
Colors and lightness
Greyness and dark
Doesn’t take trickery to know who you are
No guns left on the table
Emaj Amaj
it came with the tide
it was 50 miles wide
the color of the sky
Bmaj C#min
was pink and blue and shy

the water rippled out
the crew gave a shout
the submarine deployed
the captain said ahoy
the first mate was a fish
who granted me one wish
i thought of stopping time
or eternal life

then Jesus he rolled through
and Pontius Pilate too
Jesus had a stone
Pontius’ mouth was sewn

shut and tight and sealed
and Jesus he revealed
his magic tricks and trash
with soul patch and mustache

i wandered away confused
and saw he took my shoes
my feet in mud and sand
as the ocean turned to land
and i stared out all wide eyed
and went out with the tide
Dmaj D7
I was always innocent of any wrongdoing
D
They had me in the vault but they never proved anything
No they never proved anything
I was on my way to see a man
A man about a thing
I had to see a man about a thing, about a thing
A man about a thing
Gmaj Cmaj Dmaj
You’ll never catch me, coppers
I’ll continue to elude you
Emin Cmaj Emin Dmaj
Ooooooo
They can’t charge me if they don’t have a case
And anyway, I’m never leaving this place
I’m never leaving this place, never leaving
I get my groceries delivered in a big, red box
And I always have fresh socks
Fresh socks are important, keep my feet warm and dry
You’ll never catch me, coppers
I’ll continue to elude you
Ooooooo
Keep my hiding hole as a great little home
I share it with mice and a garden gnome
A garden gnome named Jerry
Another day another dollar, another day without a collar
If you see ____ then holler
I’ll just slip out the back, Jack
Just slip out the back, yeah
You’ll never catch me, coppers
I’ll continue to elude you
Ooooooo
Ooooooo
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj
Race towards the finish line, you can’t win them all the time
You know, you know what you know
Bird by bird and blow by blow by blow
Bmin Gmaj
Watch your garden grow
Bmin Amaj
But for you, it grows too slow
Some things just make you wait
It’s a way of life I appreciate
I was on my way to see you
Big, Bad Wolf oh oh
I was bringing you a flame that
Prometheus took
My heart burned red, my soul was cool
I wrapped my head in the golden rule
Now you’re on their minds
They wont forget or let you stay behind
You know, you know you know they’re only fair
Justice sits in a worn down chair
And on judgment day it’s a game they’ll make you play
If you don’t play then you can’t lose
But they’ll strip the wings right off your shoes
I was on my way to see you
Big, Bad Wolf oh oh
I was bringing you a flame that
Prometheus took
My heart burned red, my soul was cool
I wrapped my head in the golden rule
One more mountain to climb
Ask your friends if they can bear in mind the weight ,
The weight, that’s heavy on you
Words and signs that are way beyond you
I don’t think, I can only act
I live in the dirt that is freshly packed
Noisy puddles in the rain
The chorus of angels all exclaimed
I was on my way to see you
Big, Bad Wolf oh oh
I was bringing you a flame that
Prometheus took
My heart burned red, my soul was cool
I wrapped my head in the golden rule
I was on my way to see you
Big, Bad Wolf oh oh
I was bringing you a flame that
Prometheus took
My heart burned red, my soul was cool
I wrapped my head in the golden rule
Amin Emaj Dmaj
Don’t ask me questions and I’ll tell you no lies
What I had for breakfast is no surprise
You dance like an ant dying in a puddle
You tore the truth down, and you made it all muddled
Gmaj Amin
I love you, baby
Dmaj
I really do
I love you, baby
Oh oh oo
I love you baby
It’s a firetruck
I love you baby
Amaj
It’s in my gut
Dmaj Gmaj
The leaves on an autumn morning
Bmin Amaj
That fall down and without warning
There’s snow on a day in warm spring
mid May may not mean a thing
throw another log onto the fire
burn all them bridges until you run out of desire
you rock and a hard place yourself to death
the fluid in your lungs is a long, cold breath
I love you, baby
I really do
I love you, baby
Oh oh oo
I love you baby
It’s a firetruck
I love you baby
It’s in my gut
The leaves on an autumn morning
That fall down and without warning
There’s snow on a day in warm spring
mid May may not mean a thing
Gmaj Bmin Amaj Gmaj
I would lend you a dollar if I had one
Gmaj Bmin Amaj
Wrap a tie around this collar if I had one
I’d do my job right if I had one
I’d give you a green light, if I had one
Emin Amaj Dmaj Gmaj
Just get out of my way, we don’t have no problems here
F#7 Bmin
Words you want to hear me say will make your problems disappear
Amaj Dmaj
Let it out, exhale 1,2
Feel it in your bones what it is to be you
I can tell you haven’t got the guts or will to chum
Call me back and let me know when you get some
if I had one, I’d share it with you
if I had one, I would give it to you
I would give you ideas if I had one
We’d take a ride in my Prius if I had one
I would sing you a lullaby if I had one
I would lend you my alibi if I had one
There’s nothing doing here
Some lemons just don’t have the juice
It fills me up with fear
Trying on another shoe
Let it out, exhale 1,2
Feel it in your bones what it is to be you
I can tell you haven’t got the guts or will to chum
Call me back and let me know when you get some
If I had one, I’d share it with you
if I had one, I would give it to you
Fmaj Cmaj Amin Gmaj
I’m just a little bird hovering in the background
I don’t say a word and I don’t make a sound
Fmaj Emin Gmaj Amin Gmaj
Oh I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Dmin Amin Gmaj
Oh I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way
I’m just a little worm
Eating, feeding from a little thing
Feed but from on the earth
Why is it so freezing?
Oh I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Oh I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Gmaj Amin Emin
yesterday i woke up with a chip on my shoulder
this morning the sunrise was a little bit golder
Cmaj Dmaj
abandoned and oh left behind
Cmaj Emin Dmaj
the weather won'tmake up it's mind

yesterday i said somethings i didn't mean to
today my house fell down now i live in a lean to
i wanna build a yurt and sleep like a rock
instead i'm in the attic and i'm covered in socks

Bmin Gmaj F#7 Bmin
gimme a left right punch in the frontal lobe
gimme a red hot shot in the dark disrobe 
gimme a na na na na na na song on the radio
gimme a it's all right and hey hey hey ee oo

yesterday i had a thought but now i have lost it
the coin sat still then i called as you tossed it
heads or tails doesn't matter to me
i'll smile for you and you'll know i'm happy

yesterday the moon was full today it's a sliver
i was receiver and now i am giver
empty trails in the forest hills once teeming with life
the moon in the daytime and the sun in the night

yesterday i had a tail and now i'm a human
i'm longing for the touch of my family grooming
vestigial touch on the neck or the head
a kiss on the cheek at night before bed

yesterday i called the cops while watching a movie
they asked why i called them and i just said groovy
they threw me in jail and i dreamed i was free
they let me out and it was paralyzing
Amaj Dmaj
tell me a secret 
C#min Bmin
tell me a lie
tell me a moth
when butterfly
i'm not a soldier
but i soldier on
i put things in order
 Emaj Dmaj C#min Bmin
and then i am gone

book me a flight
on the moon and then back
say the words right on
then watch me attack
open a window
it's warmer with sun
i'm sam and frodo 
and then i am gone
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Osama Bin Laden is dead
They assassinated him right in his head
Amin Fmaj
He wont get a trial, he wont get a jury
Gmaj Amin Gmaj
He gets America’s wrath and its fury
Osama Bin Laden is gone
But his folks still carry on
Torture didn’t find him,
Neither did war
Careful intelligence, that’s what it’s for
Fmaj Gmaj
Osama Bin Laden is dead
Osama Bin Laden is dead
Osama Bin Laden is dead
Cmaj
He’s dead, dead, dead
Cmaj Amin Gmaj
Today is an impossible day
Amin Gmaj
Full of going the wrong way
Emin Fmaj Gmaj
Full of unconcealed rage
Amin Emin Gmaj
At the words upon the page
Emin Fmaj Gmaj
And the sleepiness inside
Fmaj Emin Gmaj
That keeps me wrapped up tight
Today is an impossible day
From which I cannot get away
No matter how hard I try
Each note I sing is dry
Each not I write is why
Today has got to die
Today is an impossible day
I usually keep them all at bay
But my strength is giving way
And now they overtake my senses and my mind
My sanity’s left behind
Today is an impossible day
So I wrote this finally
Just to write it and be done
So I can move and carry on
Maybe go for a run
In the late afternoon sun
Among the trees and rocks for fun
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
Cus today is an impossible day
Emaj Amaj
Marble Madness sometimes I want to punch it in the face with my fist
F#min Amaj C#min Bmaj
So frus-trating I’m sitting between a feeling of loving and hating
Marble Madness, I’ve got it I’ve got it I’ve got it I’ve got it don’t have this
Everything that you know is wrong
All the stupidest ways that I’m dying, I’ll just play pong
Emaj G#min Amaj C#min Bmaj
I can’t stay mad at you, Marble Madness I love you
I can’t stay mad at you, Marble Madness I love you, I do
Marble Madness compulsion to play you and play you
You know I can’t stop it
Marble Madness, let it be known that I think you’re really fantastic
Marble Madness , if I play you enough it can all be automatic
Marble Madness, I think it’s safe to say that I’m a Marble Madness addict
I can’t stay mad at you, Marble Madness I love you
I can’t stay mad at you, Marble Madness I love you, I do
Emaj Amaj
Marble Madness I love you, I do
Marble Madness I love you, I do
verse
Cmaj Amin Cmaj Gmaj
Ledo is an alcoholic, but I can’t really blame her
Fmaj Amin Dmin Gmaj
This place can be so boring
Ix, what’s that you’re singing
Just a song that I’m making up
Can you sing it to yourself?
This forest has monsters and they might hear you
prechorus
Fmaj Emin Amin
Let the monsters come, cus you’ll just kill them anyway
I suppose that’s true, and I haven’t even seen one today
D7 Gmaj
Ledo, sing the chorus with me
chorus
Cmaj Amin Cmaj Gmaj
We are the only ones, apparently the only ones
Fmaj Amin Gmaj
In the whole wide world alive
I like fighting and I like fun
It would appear that we’re the only ones
In the whole wide world alive
verse
Sometimes I worry about him
Ix doesn’t fight so well
But as long as he’s got me
It will be alright
Ledo do you feel like dancing?
No.
Aw..
What?
This place can be, this place can be so boring
[C D Ebmaj Fmaj Ab Gmaj]
prechorus
Well that was fun, wish that we could dance all the time
Yeah, I guess that felt good, I feel slightly less resigned
Lido, look: they’re coming to sing with us
chorus
You are the only ones, apparently the only ones
In the whole wide world alive
You like fighting and you like fun
It would appear that you’re the only ones
In the whole wide world alive
You are the only ones, apparently the only ones
In the whole wide world alive
You like fighting and you like fun
It would appear that you’re the only ones
In the whole wide world alive
In the whole wide world alive
In the whole wide world alive
Cmaj Emin Amin Emin
There’s a man in a car on his phone in the middle of the day on the first of the month and it’s rushhour too
And I’m on the opposite sidewalk, oh yeah
And I’m walking that concealed pridewalk, oh yeah
There’s a cat in a tree on the way to the castle on the hill near where we used to live
So together and alone
And I’m sad cus I can’t find a ladder oh no
And I’m glad now that I know what mattered, oh yeah
In the wake of a boat washed up on the lawn
In the bushes and the raspberries smushed all their juice on the snails
And I’m fighting with deer and wizards, oh yeah
Preparing for coming blizzards, oh yeah
And I’m on the opposite sidewalk, oh yeah
And I’m walking that concealed pridewalk, oh yeah
A C
I’m hanging by a thread
D
If you cut me loose, the only thing I’ll be is dead
Crazy Charlie on the telephone
Says he’s gonna sell everything, every last thing he owns
E D A
But it’s alright cus I’m just a human being
And there’s no difference between you and me
Take one, leave one too
But you better leave double if you want me to put you through
Green Samantha on the Ferris Wheel
She flirts with you and then says it isn’t real
But it’s alright cus I’m just a human being
And there’s no difference between you and me
B D
Everytime I close my eyes I’m on another ride
A E
Nothing ever changes on the in or the outside
Show me pictures of how it’s going to be
And I’ll show you a lonesome valley
It’s true, we die alone
No one can go with you when that thunder groans
Lucky Billy, getting on a train
And he’s never coming back, no he’s never coming back again
But it’s alright cus I’m just a human being
And there’s no difference between you and me
Gmaj Dmaj Emin Cmaj
I played Portal 2 and was left wanting more
Gmaj Dmaj Emin Cmaj
Cus it was so good, so good, so good
Cus it was so good, so good, so good
So I put in Half Life 2
But then I remembered
That I hadn’t played Half Life 1 before
I hadn’t played Half Life 1 before
Bmin
Couldn’t play it on my Mac
Amin
That made me sad
Called around to GameStop
There’s, like, 4 within biking distance
Cmaj Dmaj
One of them happened to have it
Gmaj Emin Cmaj Dmaj
Valve, Oh Valve I love how you work on games til they’re perfect
Valve, Oh Valve every single game I play, I love it
Emin Cmaj Dmaj
But, on the other hand, where is Half Life 3 or Half Life episode 3, whatever
Valve, Oh Valve I swear I swear I swear, I swear I’m not ungrateful
Gmaj Dmaj Bmin Cmaj
I’m not ungrateful, I just love your games and I want to play some more
I know you’ll make some more, and take your time with it
But patience is not my best attribute
I am loyal and creative, but patience does not go on my resume
I will replay, replay all your games
Because I don’t like most games that come out today
The last game that I really liked, aside from Portal 2, was Limbo
So Valve, Oh Valve please don’t take too much longer on it
Cus we want it, you know we want
Our days are spent obsessing our nights are haunted,
Our nights are haunted by it, Valve
So just give us Half Life 3 or Half Life Episode 3, whatever you’re going to call it
Because we want it right now
Please, you just put out Portal 2, I know
But we still really want to play it so
Valve, Oh Valve I love you ooo ooooo
Amaj Emaj
I played portal 2
F#min Dmaj
and was left wanting more
Amaj Emaj F#min Dmaj
cause it was so good, so good, so good
so i put in half life 2
but then i remembered
that i hadn't played half life 1 before
C#min Bmin
couldn't play it on my mac
and that made me sad
so i called around to gamestops
there's like 4 within biking distance
Dmaj Emaj
one of them happened to have it

Amaj F#min
valve, oh valve!
Dmaj Emaj
i love how you work on games till they are perfect
valve oh valve 
every single game i play i love it
but on the other hand
where is half life 3 
or half life episode 3 whatever
valve oh valve
i swear i swear i'm not ungrateful

Amaj
i'm not ungrateful
Emaj
i just love your games
C#min
and i wanna play some more
Dmaj
i know you'll make some more
and you'll take your time with it
but patience is not my best attribute
i am loyal and creative
but patience doesn't not go on my resume
i will replay all your games
because i don't like most games that come out today
the last game that i really liked
aside from portal 2 was limbo
so valve, oh valve
please don't take too much longer on it
cause we want it, you know we want it
our days are spent obsessing our nights are haunted
verse
Gmaj F#min Bmin Amaj Dmaj
I know you’re looking for a perfect pair, a perfect pair
I know you’re looking for what you won’t find anywhere
Dmaj Amaj Emin
Throw it across the room, now it go boom
Boom
chorus
Dmaj Cmaj Gmaj Amaj
Hey hey hey
Gmaj Amaj
Hey hey hey
Dmaj Cmaj
Hey hey hey
Gmaj Amaj
Roadtrip
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Roadtrip
Roadtrip
Gmaj F#min Bmin Amaj
No one wants to hear about your problems
No one wants to hear about them
verse
I know what you’re looking for
An open window, another door
Wrap it around your face
Don’t let it go to waste
Don’t let it go to waste
chorus
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Roadtrip
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Roadtrip
Roadtrip
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Roadtrip
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Roadtrip
Roadtrip
Roadtrip
verse
Emin Amin Gmaj Cmaj
I hate this pen, I should be holding you
I hate this letter, because it’s not the whole truth
Dmaj Emin
You could burn this letter right now
Gmaj
You could tell me to go to hell and I’d go if you wanted me to
chorus
Cmaj Amin Gmaj Emin Fmaj
I’ll be your Jordan, your Jordan Catalon
I’ve got no red convertible, but I’ll take you where you want to go
Amin Gmaj Emin Fmaj
On my bike, you can borrow it if you like
On my bike, you can borrow it if you like
Take my life, you can borrow it if you like
Take my heart, you can borrow it if you want
verse
Me and Reann, we didn’t think about you
In the back of this car, there’s no excuse
And you could burn this letter right now
You could tell me to go to hell and I’d go
I’d send you a letter from there
Oh, Angela why don’t you care
Fmaj
I’m in love with the smell of your hair
Fmin
If you asked me to be him, I’d do it I swear
I’ll be your Jordan, your Jordan Catalon
I’ve got no red convertible, but I’ll take you where you want to go
On my bike, you can borrow it if you like
On my bike, you can borrow it if you like
Take my life, you can borrow it if you like
Take my heart, you can borrow it if you want
Fmaj Dmin Fmaj Dmin
I’m just losing my hair, male pattern baldness everywhere
Bbmaj Cmaj
Say goodbye to these big black locks
Dmin
I sit and watch you fall down under my socks
I’m just losing my hair, it’s not a question of what it is fair
Life goes on, I’ll be getting some grey
I think it makes me look sophistica-ted
Fmaj Dmin Cmaj Dmin
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair, losing my hair
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair, losing my hair
I’m just losing my hair, all I do is stare
Don’t give me products, I don’t need your goop
I take it like a man, I’m part of a troop
I’m just losing my hair, it’s not exactly that I don’t care
But change is good, so I welcome it
To hold on to the past feels desperate
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair, losing my hair
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair, losing my hair
Fmaj Dmin Cmaj Bbmaj
Lose, lose, losing, lose, lose, losing
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair
Lose, lose, losing, lose, lose, losing
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair
Lose, lose, losing, lose, lose, losing
I’m just losing my hair, losing my hair
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj Amin
Dan Benjamin
King of the podcast and mediation
He lived in Sarasota till he moved to Austin
He used to worry about money but now he knows better than

Gmaj 
he doesn't like to fly
Amin
and who could blame him
Cmaj
he does the paleolithic diet
Gmaj
because it works for him
he does a bunch of podcast
and you should listen to them
with gruber siracusa arment and merlin man

dan motherfucking benjamin
he doesn't care if you swear but
he's conscious of the itunes ranking
dan i wrote this song to let you know that i'm a fan
i look forward every week to the time that i'll be listening
Bmin Amin Gmaj Amin Gmaj
Hot tub in the rain, now my hair is wet
Here we go again, oh my little pet
Rain and hot tub
Hot tub and rain
Rainy day in Santa Cruz
Dmaj
Rainy day I sing the blues
Gmaj Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Hot tub in the rain, there’s no lightning
Not in a thunderstorm, not that frightening
Hot tub, rainy night
Rainy night, hot tub
Rainy night in Santa Cruz
I’m not wearing shoes
Hot tub in the rain, now I’m getting cold
Warm water, chilly air, must be getting old
Hot tub, tubby rain, rainy tubby rainy tub
Rainy Santa Santa Cruz, never gonna follow rules
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Oh no, we will go in a hot tub in the rain
Hot tub in the rain, now my hair is wet
Here we go again, oh my little pet
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
Oh no, I will go in a hot tub in the rain
again
G Dmaj
If i were a worm 
Cmaj Dmaj
i'd look down on this world from above
not with love but with distain
all of you down there
bullying each other like you're brutes
causing war and death and pain

Emin Dmaj Cmaj Gmaj
don't come round here asking me for answers
i am just a worm
i suck in water and push it out all day what do i know
i am just a worm

if i were a worm
i'd look down on this world from on high
with an eye for friendliness
as the years go by
my eyes grow ever tired
of seeing friendliness there less and less

if i were a worm
i'd tell you to get a job
you slobs in khaki pants
but no listens to a worm
who lives beneath the ocean
and who doesn't hardly dance
Cmaj
so much to do and so little time
Fmaj
i'm paralyzed cause there's just too much
i try to break it down into its bitty pieces
but i just can't seem to make a dent
oh oh oh money's always difficult
and i try to make some but it's really hard
i sometimes wish that i had a lotta money 
i can't concentrate cause there's so much to do
so i just write a song and i make a flyer
and i buy a fish eye lens for streaming
video on the internet in the month of june
what i'm gonna do 
this song kinda sounds like end of the world
as we know it but it's way more self indulgent
like that song was about all kinds of stuff
but this song is just about me me me me me
Gmaj
Me,
Cmaj Fmaj
This song is about me, it’s all about me
Me me me me
Dmin Gmin
There on the street I saw a man with a goiter
Dmin Amin
I said, “hey man, you’re not allowed to loiter”
Dmin Gmin
He said, “okay, let me finish my lobster”
Cmaj Dmin Gmin
Then some dudes came in a helicopter
They slipped down ropes made of silk and lace
Spider Man masks were covering their faces
They saw the goiter, and they pointed a gun
They pulled the trigger and the goiter was gone
Fmaj Bbmaj
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Fmaj Cmaj
Disobey authority, now
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Fmaj Cmaj Fmaj
Disobey authority, now
I wandered down the street made of cobble
And a life size woman with a head that bobbled
Offered to sell me a brand new tanker
I said no but I didn’t thank her
Her bobble head bobbled and fell off her shoulders
All of a sudden it got a little bit colder
I looked behind me and there they were
They pointed their gun at her
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
A sign popped up so the way was clearer
I stepped through a fogged up mirror
I met a fellow wearing only pin stripes
He was handing out PVC pipes
I asked him what the pipes were for
He said that they were for the burgeoning war
I asked which war and he didn’t answer
He was struck down by a gun made of cancer
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
I left the mirror and saw a man with a headdress
He was eating fish off the palm of his mistress
I tried not to stare but it was just so indecent
The fish were endangered and the science was recent
From behind the door, I heard a knock and I opened
Two men stood there before me with rope
And they roped the man, and his mistress too
The four of them took off into the blue
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
I was feeling lonely so I walked a bit faster
I stepped into a dungeon with a slave and a master
The slave was a man that I recognized
The master was a woman who had bites on her thighs
There was a two-way mirror and I knew they were there
Cus the woman picked him up by his pubic hair
A disembodied voice said “that’s enough”
The man died with words of love
Disobey authority, Disobey authority,
Disobey authority, now
Dmaj Gmaj F#min Emin Dmaj Amaj
you may know i'm from Vermont
there's a place there that has the things that I want
Bmin
Small Dog
Dmaj Amaj
Small Dog

Not some corporate conglomerate
A bunch of real people who like Apple a lot
Small Dog
Small Dog

Gmaj F#min
I speak from personal experience
Emin
I have been there
Amaj
I bought my first airport from there

When my parent's Mac Pro went on the fritz
Small Dog was the place we took it
to get it fixed

But you don't have to go to Vermont
To buy from Small Dog the things that you want
Small Dog in the internet
Smalldog.com

Now, I'm an Apple fan and you know that's no lie
I'm telling you that you gotta give Small Dog a try
Small Dog
Small Dog

Dmaj
They love dogs
Gmaj
and I love dogs
Bmin
They love Apple
Amaj
and I do too
They're in Vermont
and I'm from Vermont
Small Dog I love you
Gmaj Emin
Forefathers of liberty
Cmaj Dmaj
With a ship in the background, here’s who worked on this particular film
Was written by marvin Wilbur and narrated by Irvin Drakin
Here’s some text, it’s an old-timey font
Dmaj Emin
Explaining the origins of our country
Cmaj Dmaj Gmaj
Look at the ships and the seagulls down by the pier
Emin Dmaj
And the sailing ship goes and the nets and the flags in the breeze
Gmaj
The blow in the breeze
Dmaj Amin Cmaj Dmaj
Cape cod looks like a muscled arm reaching out into the Atlantic
And there’s ducks about Province Town,
There’s a tower there, here’s a closeup of it
Gmaj Dmaj
Lots of houses near a cemetery
Amin Dmaj
Hold your breath when you go by the cemetery
Gmaj Dmaj
Our forefathers are buried here
Emin Cmaj
Hold your breath so that they don’t kill you
I am a Pilgrim, I am ringing a bell
I am walking down the street in Province Town
Calling out your name
Hark hark hark here I come
I’m a town crier
I walk by her and she says “oh”
There’s a fence here, there’s a little gate
I’m gonna just walk right by it
Don’t need to worry about no gate
There’s a woman hanging up, hanging up the laundry
She’s who I was calling for earlier
I said “hey, hey pretty lady with the babushka thing on your head
Hanging up the laundry and your kids are sitting there
Looking at you like, why aren’t you plaing with us cus we are lonely”
And you got the dress on, and I come walking up the street and I say hello to the old ladies cus I’m old too
And I’m ringing the bell and they’re like what the hell are you doing?
And I’m like I’m just ringing the bell, ringing the bell in Province Town
With a pilgrim hat, walking by the fisherman guy with his hat and the other hats,
Everybody’s wearing hats, it’s the hat town
It’s Province Town, it’s the hat Province town
I didn’t know they had cars way back in the 1600s
Back then they got policemen with the guy, with the rope hitting the rope
As I’m ringing my bell
And I’m ringing my bell
And there’s some people with the easels
And they ‘re painting things
Down in Province Town everybody learns how to paint
And I ring my bell as they’re learning how to pain
I can’t really tell what she’s painting, oh, I guess they’re learning how to do still lifes
Still lifes, still life
Is that called a still life when it’s a person? I guess not, I think it’s called a portrait still life is more like with inanimate objects, I’m pretty sure
Not that I know anything about painting at all
Now let’s watch the master, let’s watch the master
As he paints, paints, paints, paints the portrait
Portrait down in Province Town as I ring my bell
I’m ringing my ding, ding dong I’m ringing my bell
I’m ringing my bell and he’s pretty good
He’s a pretty good portrait painter, portrait painter ring,
Ring a ding ding ding dong
Now it’s time to sail away, sail away on the old ship
Shippity ship shop ship
It’s called the Millilaur, aMilnayer
We’re weaving a net to catch some fish, weaving a net to catch some fish
Down, down in Province Town
Gonna do a dance, we’re singing, we’re singing as they’re dancing
Do-si do, and your partner up and down, look em up and down
And you say hey, then you turn around and you clap twice and you say hey
That woman has a black dress on, that woman has a blue dress on, that other woman’s got a white dress on
And I’m strumming, strumming my guitar
Oops I played the wrong chord, now I’m playing a-
I don’t know what chord that is, it’s like a G chord, kinda
Ooo and we’re dancing, dancing down down
That guy likes to watch the dancing
And that guy likes to watch the dancing too
Everybody’s wearing hats except for the dancers
Because you don’t wear hats when you dance down in Province Town
You don’t wear hats when you dance, no you don’t hats when you dance
But when you watch the dance, then it’s okay to wear a hat
Oh, shuffle down my feet
Looking over there he sees the guy with the bell
He says “hey”
And they’re dancing down and down
What did that woman say to that guy?
Whoa, that guy’s really happy
And they’re very serious
I actually think that he’s in the same key as I am
Which is kind of fortuitous
I did not plan it at all
In and out, form a star
Everybody do-si do
And then you switch your partner again, switch again
Don’t switch don’t switch
Scratch your nose, don’t switch
Don’t wear hats when you dance down in Province Town
Don’t wear hats in Province Town when you dance
It’s poor manners
Then you switch your partners once again
On the dock as you dance on the dock
You don’t wear hats on the dock
You don’t wear hats as you dance down on the dock
And they fade, don’t wear hats on the dock
Don’t wear hats as you dance on the dock
Don’t wear hats on the dock as you dance on the dock
Gmin Bbmaj Dbmaj
Don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know?
Don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know?
Gmin
I’m going to the rapture, I’m going to the rapture, I’m going to the rapture,
I’m going to the rap-tap-tap, the rap-tappy-tappy,
the rap-tap-tap, the rap-tappy-tappy, the rap-tap-tap, I’m going to the rapture
Gmin
May 21, 2011, All God’s children go to heaven
Cmin Gmin
Aint no sadness, ain’t no fair
But I’m Jewish so I’m staying here
Brimstone and the four horseman
Coming from God’s kingdom
Jesus in a shiny ball of light
He knows you’re naughty and he knows you’re nice,
Gmin
He said the rapture, the rapture, the rapture, the rapture
I’m going to the rap-tap-tap, the rap-tappy-tappy,
Dmaj
the rap-tap-tap, the rap-tappy-tappy, the rap-tap-tap, I’m going to the rapture
well now feel the rumbling in the ground
here are the angels, trumpet sounds
see the light from on up above, Jesus touches you with love
Jesus touches, Jesus hugs, Jesus til you’ve had enough
Taste the cookies, taste the clouds
Now we’re all well endowed
I said the rapture, the rapture, the rapture, the rapture
G#maj D#maj
Maker Faire, Maker Faire
C#maj D#maj
Look at all the fun stuff there
Crazy things are everywhere
E#min D#maj
You can’t really help but care
C#maj G#maj
And want to build and to repair
And make and learn, and I swear
That you may not be so aware
Of all the things you can do
But you can learn how to
It’s easier than you think
D#maj C#maj
It’s easier than you think
I think to fix that sink with a missing link
To build a walking roller rink
To count how many times you blink
Maker faire, Maker Faire yare yare yare yare
Maker Faire, Maker Faire, learn to things
And things to wear if you’re confused then don’t despair
Make sure you check-in on Foursquare
You’ll stop and gawk and wonderstare
And if you don’t come prepared
Then set yourself in an easy chair
And enjoy the sites and open air
And the mechanical teddy bears
And the tickle-me electric chair
Where they strap you in and you go hee hee hee
And the bathrooms if you’ve got to pee
At Maker Faire, Maker faire, Maker Faire yare yare yare yare
Maker faire, Maker Faire where where, where where
In San Mateo
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
That which can go wrong will go wrong, and does go wrong
Fmaj Dmaj Amaj
That which can go wrong will go wrong, and does go wrong
Bmin Amaj F#7 Bmin
You can put it off til tomorrow, you can write another song
Gmaj Amaj
But it will always go wrong
You will get a big old rash from a spider bite
You will have something to do tomorrow and lay awake all night
You feel like running away, but you’ll have to stay and fight
And it will always go wrong, it will always go
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
Fmaj Dmaj Amaj
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
Bmin Amaj F#7 Bmin
Every which way you turn, from Alabama to Hong Kong
Gmaj Amaj
It will always go wrong
That which can go wrong will go wrong, and does go wrong
I’m not trying to go negative just trying to go beyond
Because once you accept it that’s when you can move on
Because everything always goes wrong
You will miss the last train after a long, hard day
A supervillain will take you hostage with his death ray
And the cops will mistake you for a member of the KKK
Everything always goes wrong
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
The longer you deny it, the longer your suffering’s prolonged
That which can (go wrong) will (go wrong),does (go wrong)
That which can (go wrong) will (go wrong),does (go wrong)
If you’re gonna take away just one thing from this song,
Wrong wrongidy, riggidy wrongidy, wrong wrong a ding-ding-ding dong
Oh your car will break down and you will hitch hike
And you will be murdered by some crazy with an overbite
When you wind up up in heaven, they’ll say “we’re full for the next few nights.
You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty, Wrong wrongitty wrong
The longer you deny it, the longer your suffering’s prolonged
It will always go wrong, it will always go wrong
No lyrics
E A
Dmin C Bbmaj Amaj
Dmin C Amaj
Gmaj Dmin
Gmaj Emin Dmin
Cmaj Fmaj Amin Gmaj
Trinna is a biologist, and so is Martin, so is Martin
Martin studies photosynthesis and goes hang gliding, goes hang gliding
Fmaj Emin
Trinna went with him and thought she would die, like the blueberry bush
But she had a great time
Gmaj
And Martin builds robots, and Trinna wants a Johnny 5
Trinna is a biologist, she studies RNA, studies RNA
She says it’s not just an intermediate between DNA and protein
She misses soft pretzels and water ice and she is learning to scuba dive
And Martin was born in Paris but moved to Berkeley when he was 9
Cmaj Gmaj Amin Fmaj
They went to the same grad school, 4 whole years didn’t know each other
Until they went to a conference in Santiago, Chile
Emin Amin Cmaj Gmaj Fmaj
Martin got his salsa on, but they hit it off while backpacking
Cmaj Gmaj Amin Fmaj
And now they are getting married, and it’s a whole new chapter of happy
Cmaj Gmaj
Martin and Trinna forever and more
Amin Fmaj
Bigger and better than ever before
They walked the Great Wall, above mountains they soared
Trinna and Martin forever and more
Forever and more, Trinna and Martin
Bring an SNES on your honeymoon
And you can play Legend of Zelda
Martin, you can bring your guitar and sing some depressing songs
You can play Stratego on the beach, then play some Risk in the hotel room
I hope you drink a million smoothies and eat the spiciest Indian food
Trinna is a biologist, she’s marrying Martin, it’s a beautiful thing
They got engaged on a mountain top with the homemade ring, with the homemade ring
They’re gonna spend the rest of their lives together, doing science and everything together
Two beautiful people being together, it’s what makes the world so grand
They went to the same grad school, 4 whole years didn’t know each other
Until they went to a conference in Santiago, Chile
Martin got his salsa on, but they hit it off while backpacking
And now they are getting married, and it’s a whole new chapter of happy
Martin and Trinna forever and more
Bigger and better than ever before
They walked the Great Wall, above mountains they soared
Trinna and Martin forever and more
Forever and more, Trinna and Martin
Amaj Emaj Amaj Emaj
Is she making chicken soup? Is she building a home for two?
F#min Emaj F#min Emaj Dmaj Emaj
Is she heading towards the graveyard, where all her kids are buried?
I saw her Sunday milling in the street, I tried so hard couldn’t let her be
Does she even remember me, or the things we carried?
[same as verse]
A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones
A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones
I knew a girl who used to rattle her bones
She’d shake them over her head, she’d shake them under your toes
But with each shake of the bag another bone fell out
Filling limp old skin, slid in a hole in the ground
A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones
A bag of bones, A bag of bones, A bag of bones
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj Amaj
We’re in a young rock n’ roll band what’s career advice
We’re all full of rock n’ roll distress
Tell him: you gotta write the music press
Dmaj Gmaj Dmaj
I don’t wanna think about this song getting lots of blog play
Gmaj
I just wanna write one everyday
Bmin Amaj Gmaj F#7
But instead I’m sitting here writing bloggers about my band
I don’t want to write another email ever again
I’m not a typewriting robot: I am a man
What do I have to do to get you to write about my band?
Bmin Amaj Bmin Amaj
Would you write about me if David Bowie guest vocaled live at CMJ?
Would you write about me if Pitchfork gave me a 9.8?
Would you write about me if the Gallagher brothers called me a dork?
Would you write about me if I was from Williamsburg, NY
Dmaj Bmin
Good people of the music press
It is to you that this song is addressed
Could you help make-a-me a success?
Amaj Gmaj
Could you help me, could you help me?
Ladies and Gentlemen of the music press:
I like that you keep me so warm at night
Because you help me figure what records I need to buy
And when I’m lonely on a Friday night
I just hold the music press extra tight
And it helps me figure out
What concerts gonna make me feel alright
But lately I’ve been thinking: why don’t you write a little about Jonathan Mann?
Dmaj Amaj
Because the more I think about it: Fleet Foxes, they’re still the same band
Grizzly Bear, they’re still the same band
The Arcade Fire, they’re still the same band
Vampires on the Weekend, they’re still the same band
The Vivian Girls, oh my gosh… THE BEATLES!!
Good people of the music press
It is to you that this song is addressed
Could you help make-a-me a success?
Could you help me, could you help me?
Good people of the music press
It is to you that this song is addressed
Could you help make-a-me a success?
Could you help me, could you help me?
Could you help me, could you help me?
Could you help me, could you help me now?
Amaj Bmin C#min Dmaj Emaj
I don’t like spicy because it hurts my mouth
I cant find much to eat when I’m down south
F#min Dmaj C#min Emaj
I would eat a pecan pie from Georgia, yeah
But only if it were vegan and fairly traded, yeah
I don’t like spicy foods cus it hurts my mouth
Amaj C#min Dmaj Bmin Emaj
Oh, Technology Sometimes you’re so mean
Oh, Technology Sometimes you make me want to scream
Dmaj Emaj F#min Emaj
First this doesn’t work, then that doesn’t work
Dmaj
Then this other thing works, but only when this other thing doesn’t work
Emaj
And I feel like such a jerk
Oh, Technology You can make things easier
But oh, Technology I want things the way they were
Before you started running my life
Sometimes I forget what things were like
before you started doing all the crazy things you do
Amaj Emaj
Nothing works the way it’s supposed to
Dmaj F#min Emaj
Things are breaking left and right
A waste of time that I’m opposed to
I don’t wanna struggle and to fight
Dmaj
I just want to make some music
Emaj
Not fix computers
I wanna get down to it
Nothing could be ruder
Oh, Technology You gave us forks and knives
Oh, Technology Now you rule over our lives
The refrigerator, and the automobile
The Snuggy, and the Happy Meal and the drugs,
The drugs that tell me how to feel
Oh, Technology You’ve got us all enslaved
Oh, Technology I’m gonna go live in a cave
And dance beneath the moon with a saber-toothed honey
She’ll be much cuter than you, and hotter than money
And we’ll wander naked through this world
Nothing works the way it’s supposed to
Things are breaking left and right
A waste of time that I’m opposed to
I don’t wanna struggle and to fight
I just want to write some songs
Not juggle the wires
Not twiddle the knobs
I wanna play with fire, Technology
Gmaj Dmaj
Memorial Day, twenty-one-one
Cmaj Dmaj
Springtime’s gone and the summer’s begun
Emin Dmaj Cmaj B7
And I was a teenage dream, and I was the gasoline
And I was made of spring
Amin Dmaj
and the springtime all returned
Gmaj Dmaj
Boys wear shorts, girls wear tanktops
Amin Emin Dmaj
Somebody’s out there taking pot shots
Gmaj Dmaj Cmaj
At the Target sign, what did it ever do to them
Stone fruit and tequila lime, I’m letting go of what I think is mine
Amin Bmin Cmaj Dmaj
Summer leaves destruction disguised as love
Or as something simple like a loaf of bread
Emin
Burning down the house with the barbeque
With the barbeque, summer was only one for exercise
In the summer sun, you can close your eyes
And imagine that you’re some place new
Dmaj
Or old, depending
Boys wear shorts, girls wear tanktops
Somebody’s out there taking pot shots
At the Target sign, what did it ever do to them
Stone fruit and tequila lime, I’m letting go of what I think is mine
Memorial Day, twenty-one-one
Springtime’s fallen and the summer’s risen
I pulled on a piece of string and I got what the Sun God brings but
I was made of spring and the springtime all returned
Fmin Bbmin
Turn on the car, turn off the car, it’s raining
Dbmaj Ebmaj Fmin
And I’m just gathering my thoughts
This story, this story will take some explaining
I’m digging in my pockets pulling out all the rocks
Ebmaj Fmin
I was walking the tightrope in the big top show
I was giving the straight dope to the crowd below
Bbmin Dbmaj
That’s when I saw her, all gold and lace
Ebmaj Cmaj
Her perfume was familiar and I knew her face
Fmaj Bbmaj
And I fell down, but I meant her to catch me
I fell into the ground, I was falling and falling
Gmin Cmaj
The hands wrapped around, I went into her bones
I could not make a sound, but the Earth, she groaned
Turn off the wind, turn off the windshield wipers
While I remember how it went
Things went from, they went from slow to hyper
And I learned there’s no such thing as accident
When I finally hit the bottom, it was dark and warm
Where it smelled like autumn just before a storm
Then the lights came on, she was standing there
Then she took my hand, then she said this prayer
And I fell down, but I meant her to catch me
I fell into the ground, I was falling and falling
The hands wrapped around, I went into her bones
I could not make a sound, but the Earth, she groaned
Dmin Cmaj
I was always on your side, I moved mountains and turned the tide
Bbmaj
I helped your cells subdivide
I turned in the sky for you, I turned a blind eye for you
Bbmaj Cmaj
I broke myself open wide
Open the door, open the door cus I want to get out
I’m pulling the plug on this interview
When I agreed, when I agreed when we set out
Well, I didn’t think we’d be in this car just two
You remind me so, In the way you move
In your second hand clothes, of the girl I knew
I look in your eyes, and I’ve already died
Open up the door and let me outside
G#maj C#maj G#maj
Welcome to Song A Day the album
E#min D#maj G#maj
We sincerely hope you’ll stick around
E#min D#maj C#maj G#maj
There’ll be lots of songs, there’ll be lots of fun
E#min D#maj C#maj G#maj D#maj
And you can fun along, thanks to the live stream
Welcome to Song A Day the album
We’ll be here, like, every single day
From now until the 30th, tune in to watch us to play
You can simply watch or chime in and have your say via the livechat
The livechat
C#maj D#maj E#min C#maj
Song a Day, song a Day, Song A Day the album
C#maj D#maj G#maj
Song a Day, song a Day, Song A Day the album
Welcome to everyone on the internet
We’re here to make music history
You’ll watch us work and you’ll watch us eat
You’ll watch us fail and sometimes succeed everyday
So welcome to old friends and the new ones
We hope that you will be entertained
By Jonathan and Nick and Thomas and Norman
And Matt and Liam and Justin and Laura etc, etc
Song a Day, song a Day, Song A Day the album
Song a Day, song a Day, Song A Day the album
G#maj C#maj
Song, song, song a day, song a day
G#maj D#maj
Song, song, song a day, song a day
Song, song, song a day, song a day,
Song a day the album
G#maj
One song a-one year? No!
One song a-one month? No!
One song a-one week? No!
One song a-one day? YAY!
Song, song, song a day, song a day
Song, song, song a day, song a day
Song, song, song a day, song a day,
Song a day the album
Cmaj Bbmaj Fmaj
First, I was supposed to be king
Then I was the last of my kind
Now I’m not anything
Cmaj Bbmaj Amin Gmin
Just another soul with nowhere to go and too much time
Fmaj Amin Cmaj Bbmaj
I was gonna be king, maybe praised and applauded
I was gonna be king, love anyone I wanted
Fmaj Cmaj6 Ebmaj Bbmaj6
She was everything, but we were denied
Bbmaj Cmaj Fmaj
And so they had to die
Vaguely aware of the rules they set
I was so used to getting my way
Some ancestor full of regret
Some forgotten father turning in his grave
So they took her away and they told me to forget her
And they brought me another
As if it’d make it better
They couldn’t be reasoned with
Lord knows I tried
And so they had to die
A7 G7
And so one evening at dinner, I excused myself
We had company over
Uncles and cousins and everyone else
Dmin Fmaj
I went up to my room, grabbed my M-16 then when dinner was done
Bbmaj A7
I walked calmly back downstairs and I killed everyone
I was supposed to be king
And I was for three whole days
Now I’m not anything
Just some brief forgotten king, turning in his grave
And the shots rang out and the bodies fell and I wanted to be sure
That everyone knew that I was doing it for her
It was clear to me by the look in their eyes and so they had to die
Gmaj Bmin Amin
Every elf down in the forest down near my house is following me around
Cmaj Dmaj
They want to be their leader
Some are fat, some are tall and some don’t look like elves at all
But everyone says they think that I’m the bomb
Cmaj Emin
They say the waited for 10,000 years
They say they’ve prayed and shed golden tears
Amin Gmaj
They tag along when I go to the grocery store
Dmaj Emin
You can’t see them, but they’re there
Now I’ve got no children, got no wife
Got no mitigating circumstances in my life
So I’m free to lead these elves
They took me down to their elfin palace
Fed me sap from a silver chalice
Sang my name and their brilliant elfin song
Emin Gmaj Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
I quit my job, I sold my house and I packed up to live way out in the trees
Beneath the summer sun
No one came to look for me, there was no one who would be alarmed by my sudden disappearance
We played, and jumped as it got dark
We danced and sang and ate tree bark
Time seemed to move so fast
I met a cute little Elfin lass
She took my hand and she became my queen
Married on the first of May
And she took my breath away, she sang her brilliant Elfin song
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
The elves listen to what I say, I got tons of responsibility
I run this elfin town, from the treetops on down
Our son was born Febrauary 10, half human and half elfin
He’s the best, he’s the best, he’s the best of both worlds
Time goes on and love, it grows
In the forest where nobody knows
We go about our elfin lives
On summer nights when the wind blows clear
If you listen close you may just hear the elves and me
Singing our elfin song
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Johnny Tumbleton, king of the Elves king of the Elves king of the Elves
Amaj Dmaj Amaj
Ones and zeros burned and broken
Do you or do you not exist?
I will accept you with arms wide open
But if you’re fake I’ll feel foolish
Amaj C#min Dmaj Emaj
You’re friends with my friends but that’s not conclusive
I try to verify you, but you are elusive
Little bits arranged in rows and rows and just so
Now I am obsessed and I simply must know
Amaj Dmaj Emaj Dmaj
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
Flesh and bone is less deceiving
I don’t need no terring tell
If I can touch you and feel you breathing
I feel your heart beating in my chest
I don’t know what your motivation might be
When you look my way and you decide to friend me
Far be it from me to disrupt the status quo
Now I am obsessed and I simply must know
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
Oooh are you a real person?
If_ you're real just say so
If we knew each other long ago
If you're someone that I really know
If you're real, well then hello.
Gmaj Emin Cmaj Dmaj
Last night I dreamt I was a submarine
I dove right into my bed and I woke up my girlfriend
I sleep so heavily, she sleeps so light
It’s a miracle when she sleeps through the night
Gmaj Dmaj Emin
Kick, kick, punch, punch now I take all the covers
Roll, roll right out of bed I’m an active sleeping lover
Cmaj Dmaj Emin Dmaj
Just kick me right out of bed and get a good night’s rest
If we were birds I’d probably fall out of the nest
Gmaj Amin
And onto the ground
Cmaj
Unless I had wings then I would fly
Dmaj
Sleep in the sky
Sleep in the cloud
Land on the ground
And dream
Cmaj Dmaj
Of being
Gmaj
A submarine.
Cmaj Amin
Live coverage of the world wide DC
Gmaj Fmaj
Crowd cheering, song over
Steve takes the stage
Standing ovation, and Steve looks good!
Someone shouts, “I love you”
Fmaj Gmaj Amin
Steve sounds… exasperated
Fmin
This is odd. Weirdly quiet, not as energetic
Cmaj Fmaj
Today we’re talking about software
Cmaj Fmaj
250 new features, admire em
Amin Gmaj
Swipe, pinch, Swipe, pinch, Swipe, pinch, etc.
Swipe, music, Swipe, photos Swipe, apps, etc.
Targeted facial enhancements
That’s a weird thing to spend time on
Cmaj Amin
Lion auto saves basically everything
And this allows for basic versioning
Lion auto saves basically everything
And this allows for basic versioning
Gmaj Fmaj
Version control looks just like Time Machine
Cmaj
Full screen apps, new version of mayo
Gmaj
FaceTime built in, Coco auto layout
Amin Bbmaj
Toolbar autohiding, momentum scrolling
Gmaj
Video decoded acceleration, airdrop
E7 Amin
Mission control, launch pad, launch pad
Blast off!!!
Cmaj Dmaj Fmaj Gmaj
$29.99, download from the app store
works on all computers, coming out this summer
Amin
iOS 5, Crowd is clapping
Fmaj
Major Release, Crowd is clapping
Dmaj
200 new features, Crowd is clapping
Gmaj
Walking us through them all
Cmaj Fmaj
Notifications, crowd goes “ooo”
We got a newsstand, crowd goes “ooo”
Tweet integration, crowd goes “ooo”
Better Safari, crowd goes “ooo”
Built in reminders, crowd goes “ooo”
Red eye reduction, crowd goes “ooo”
Radical email, crowd goes “ooo”
Don’t need a computer, crowd goes, “ooo”
Game Center’s stupid, crowd goes “eehhhh”
Don’t need a text plan,
Crowd goes, crowd goes, crowd goes into the cloud
Steve is back on the stage, eveybody’s going nuts
Dmin Emin
Now all of your da-ta is pushed from the cloud
Fmaj Gmaj
All your devi-ces are syncing it now
Google and Amazon haven’t figured it out
Why don’t you follow us into the cloud
Cmaj Fmaj
Into the cloud, into the cloud
Into the cloud, into the cloud
One more thing, iTunes matching
Into the cloud, into the cloud
Into the cloud, into the cloud
Emaj Bmaj Amaj
It’s so easy to be Wii U crazy princess peach and daisy
Emaj
Dark Sider’s too amazing
Amaj6 Amin Bmaj
Oh no no, I’m not sure you understand
C#min
Take the Wii U in your hand
It’s so easy to be Wii U crazy if you’re high strung or you’re lazy
Better than Spielberg or Scorsese
Oh no no, I’m not sure you understand
Emaj G#7
Take the Wii U in your hand
C#min Amaj
And now you understand
Take the Wii U in your hand and
Now you understand
Take the Wii U in your hand
Now you understand
Take the Wii U in your hand
Now you understand
Take the Wii U in your hand
Now you understand
Take the Wii U in your hand
Bbmaj Fmaj
Everybody dies alone
Bbmaj Gmin Fmaj
From the still born baby to the man full grown
Gmin Amin
I hate being alone, it drives me totally nuts
Bbmaj Cmaj
I hate it down in my bones, I hate it down in my guts
Fmaj Bbmin
And I hate being alone
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj
I used to make my mom call my friends on the telephone
Fmaj Bbmin
Sometimes no one was free
Dbmaj Cmaj
But then it would be just me me me me me
Fmaj Bbmin
I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone
Cmaj
Being alone, being alone, being alone
Everybody dies alone
But the consequences of this might be slightly overblown
Modern science doesn’t know and religion, just forget it
Nobody knows where you go and then you breathe your final breath and it means
No one knows where you go
Could be a big empty room or a loud, crowded rock show
You die alone, oh yes
But a second after that is anyone’s guess
I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone
Being alone, being alone, being alone
Amin Bbmaj Amin Cmaj
Some people are comfortable seeing movies by themselves
Or going to restaurant “table for one” they don’t need anyone else
Dbmaj Cmaj
They’re fine just watching tv, or drinking a beer at home
Gmin Amin Bbmaj
I thought it would go away, but the world has shown
Cmaj Fmaj
That people come and they go and I hate being alone
And I hate being alone
I used to make my mom call my friends on the telephone
Sometimes no one was free
But then it would be just me me me me me
I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone I hate being alone
Being alone, being alone, being alone
Dmaj Bmin Amaj Gmaj
I don’t wanna turn back time, kids these days don’t know the phrase
“Be kind, please rewind”, it was a simple time and as a phase
Emin Gmaj
the lights come down and the movie comes on
Dmaj
the tests were out, had the answers wrong
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj F#7
but I’ll take another dose and the world gets overexposed
Dmaj Bmin Amaj Gmaj
hey my favorite girlfriend, cut the ground and you’re holding my hand
kiss you in the hot tub, you let me do it cus they double dared us
but I’d kiss you any day, don’t need a dare I would kiss you anyway
Emin Gmaj
oh, I’d kiss you anyway
oh, I’d kiss you anyway
I don’t wanna turn back time, it’s a medical procedure and all the risk is
In your mind and the world around you turns the miss
Nostalgia blast you’re living in the past
Every hit of the high’s a little less than the last
So take another dose and the world gets overexposed
hey my favorite girlfriend, cut the ground and you’re holding my hand
kiss you in the hot tub, you let me do it cus they double dared us
but I’d kiss you any day, don’t need a dare I would kiss you anyway
oh, I’d kiss you anyway
oh, I’d kiss you anyway
F#7 Bmin Emaj Amaj
I don’t wanna turn back time, it’s not 1989
F#7 Gmaj
The past is dead and gone, it’s time to move on
Hey my sorta boyfriend, I cut the ground and you’re holding my hand
Kissed me in the hot tub, I let you do it cus they double dared us
But I didn’t want to kiss you, twenty years later and I haven’t missed you
No no I haven’t missed you
No no I haven’t missed you
No no I haven’t missed you
No no I haven’t missed you
Cmaj Fmaj
There’s a lot of cats on the internet
Some you will remember, most you will forget
Dmin Gmaj
Video after video, oh
The lol cats, they’re everywhere you go
Cmaj Fmaj
But there’s only one cat for me
I said there’s only one cat for me
Dmin Gmaj
He loves boxes of all sizes and shapes
He jumps in them and then he escapes
Cmaj Fmaj
Maru we love you
Fmaj Gmaj
Our hears are a series of cardboard boxes
Cmaj Fmaj Dmin Gmaj
For you to jump in, get stuck in and fall in love with
And we will build you a physically impossible matryoshka box
With layers infinite jump in it, and in it
Maru we love you
Our hears are a series of cardboard boxes
For you to jump in, get stuck in and fall in love with
And we will build you a physically impossible matryoshka box
With layers infinite jump in it, and in it
Maru we love you
Our hears are a series of cardboard boxes
For you to jump in, get stuck in and fall in love with
And we will build you a physically impossible matryoshka box
With layers infinite jump in it, and in it
Gmaj Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
If the Earth were to open up and swallow me whole
And spit me out onto the ice down on the north pole
I’d pitch a tent, and strike a match and burn my way through the ice
Cus the body’s mostly water, snow is mostly H2O
And I’d melt into a puddle and drift home on the smoke
Cus home is where the heart is and the heart is a powerful device
Emin Cmaj
Cus you can never go home again, no matter where your heart has been
Dmaj
You can never go home again, much to my chagrin, you can never go home again
Cus you can never go home again, no matter where your heart has been
You can never go home again, much to my chagrin, you can never go home again
Gmaj F#min Emin
I gotta a poison swirl in my mind
Sings a hundred sweet, evil melodies when the hour bell rings
F#min Emin
You’re always wrong except when you’re not
You write a song and you’re stirring the pot
I got a whirlpool brain that’s dragging me down
A million 5-ton memories making sure that I drown
You’re always wrong, you’re always surprised
Amaj F#7
Reality comes and you realize
Gmaj Bmin
That it’s something wrong in the way you
F#7 Emin
And the wires crossed and burned
And you’re laying there always on the brink
Of a brain that’s overturned
Amaj Gmaj
Don’t mislead yourself into a state of doubt and
F#7
Don’t believe yourself when you’re not telling the truth
I got some good ideas that turn to salt
When I confront what’s real, the mad gestalt
You’re getting crazier with each passing thought
Don’t try to hide it, you’re stirring the pot
I gotta bed that swallows me at night
And then I’m almost the same but not quite
You’re always taking the long way around
You’re always making the same damn sound
Don’t mislead yourself into a state of doubt and
Don’t believe yourself when you’re not telling the truth
Don’t mislead yourself into a state of doubt and
Don’t believe yourself when you’re not telling the truth
Dmaj F#min Gmaj Amaj
Well they tried to arrest one night beneath the great but crescent moon
I was out there selling watermelons and watermelon shaped balloons
When a kid came up and intervened he must have been about 17
He said this aint the guy you’re looking for and so the police let me be
Gmaj Dmaj
And I’m pushing rocks up hills that are steep and getting steeper
I’m sometimes being watch by eight more friendly creepers
Gmaj E7
On the seventh day I rest, but the sixth I like the best
Dmaj Amaj Gmaj
When the waves come crashing down, and all we’ve built gets drowned
Emin
And the wind blows wild washes all of us aground, I’ll be found
Amaj
When the waves come crashing down
She was probably older by a few years but I could not know for sure
I found myself on the outside looking in on what we were
Was it me that she was flirting with or the promise of what could be
Something flashed, she took my hand and led me out to sea
And I’m throwing left, right punches in the rhythms I’ve enjoyed
And the thoughts flow out of my mind, straight into the void
And you can never build that which cannot be destroyed
When the waves come crashing down, and all we’ve built gets drowned
And the wind blows wild washes all of us aground, I’ll be found
When the waves come crashing down
When the waves come crashing down, and all we’ve built gets drowned
And the wind blows wild washes all of us aground, I’ll be found
When the waves come crashing down
Well I can see the ferris wheel from my hotel window
It’s the oldest one in Europe and I wanted to but never got to go
And I’m sleeping on the floor because the bed they gave me is just too soft
And anytime I take a ride on something old I’m ready to get off
And I’m throwing left, right punches in the rhythms I’ve enjoyed
And the thoughts flow out of my mind, straight into the void
And you can never build that which cannot be destroyed
When the waves come crashing down, and all we’ve built gets drowned
And the wind blows wild washes all of us aground, I’ll be found
When the waves come crashing down
When the waves come crashing down
When the waves come crashing down
Ebmaj Abmaj6-4
We ride our bikes down summer streets
The world is sun, the world is heat
Cmin Bbmaj
We get home covered in sweat
Abmaj Ebmaj
But I don’t want to shower just yet, no
Ebmaj Abmaj
Sweaty girlfriend, sweaty girlfriend
I am attracted to your scent
Cmin Bbmaj
No not yet, don’t take a shower
Abmaj Bbmaj
I’m drawn in to your body power
Well she comes home in her yoga pants
She walks by, I’m in a yoga trance
She’s heading for the shower now
And I jump up and tackle her to the ground
Sweaty girlfriend, sweaty girlfriend
I am attracted to your scent
No not yet, don’t take a shower
I’m drawn in to your body power
Now we’re in new york paying subway fares
And walking up ten flights of stairs
The city heat makes her collapse
Let’s find a bed and take new york naps
I’m drawn in by her style and grace
Her pretty voice and her pretty face
And when we’re at home alone
I am drawn to her pheromones
Sweaty girlfriend, sweaty girlfriend
I am attracted to your scent
No not yet, don’t take a shower
I’m drawn in to your body power
Sweaty girlfriend, sweaty girlfriend
I am attracted to your scent
No not yet, don’t take a shower
I’m drawn in to your body power
Amin Gmaj Dmin Amin
Could I interest you in a handmade watch marked in 1684
Amin Gmaj Fmaj Amin
It belonged to a boy who was drowned in a river in the middle of a civil war
Amin D#dim Dmin Emaj
They say it brings beauty to the bearer because of all the mud in the river
Amin Gmaj Fmaj Gmaj Fmaj Emaj Amin
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
I’ve got this gold grandfather clock from the 13th century
It keeps the time with the rhythm in your mind, comes with a guarantee
If you’re not completely satisfied, you can bring it back when your first born dies
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Maybe you’d like this burned up kite, it belonged to Benjamin Frank
It was given to me by a horny old man who worked for the World Bank
It attracts good luck to the slightest touch, but the danger comes when used to much
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
How about this printing press that can only print one thing
A manifesto of simpler times of man and God and King
The rider had 40 wives, 20 sons and a burning need
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Oh I see you found the bicycle that Che Guevara rode
Dust it off and take her out and the tires might explode
The tires contain the memories of every road they ever have seen
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Here’s a necklace that belonged to Catherine the Great
I found it on the 7th floor of the Empire State
They say it talks to you at night like a voice like a warbling reed
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Have you seen the pistol that only shoots green arrows tipped with blood
The arrows make the strap mistake their wounded pride with love
Love in its purest form that keeps the wounded safe warm
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Have a look at this magnifying glass and you will see
Everything that ever was and all that’s yet to be
You’d be a fool to refuse this tool, a glimpse into the miniscule
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Do you have kids, cus if you did I’ve got rows and rows of toys
Melancholy soldier men and racecars for the boys
Girls have enjoyed my favorite marbles when they see it
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
This mystery box contains a taste of something so unique
If you open it before it’s due you won’t see or hear or speak
You won’t know if it’s good or hurts, you’ll be in another universe
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
What about this realistic golden goose that flies
With wings that really flap and gem, ruby, opal eyes
The eggs it lays are edible and of the normal size
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Before you leave, one final thing I’ve saved the last for best
I can tell you’re not impressed by trinkets or the rest
A human soul wrapped in a jacket polyester tweed
And I’ll sell it to you for a mighty fine price, a mighty fine price indeed
Fmaj A7
One thing sometimes seems like another
Dmin G7
Upon closer inspection, a curse is a blessing
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj
So you float into yourself
Sometimes you just got no idea
The meaning seems hidden but really, it isn’t
So you fold into yourself
You search in the faces of the people you know
You feel like Magellan but the faces aren’t telling
So you fold into yourself
You think maybe you’ll find it in some place exotic
In an old elevator or a dinosaur crater
So you fold into yourself
Start to get worried, you start to panic
Let out your breath and you use what’s left
To fold into yourself
You wake from your dream all groggy confused
And the hand that you’re holding means you are unfolding
And you found it in yourself
Fmaj A7 Dmin
It was small and insecure
G7 Cmaj
But it begins to grow and grow, the doubts get fewer and fewer
Dmaj
You’ll see me, I’ll see you
Cmaj
In the afterlife
We’ll have tea that I brew
With infusions of light
Bmaj
The light we follow into the afterlife
The light we follow into the afterlife
Amaj Gmaj
Now it’s time for me to go and meet Jesus Christ
He has an hourly show that’s just 20 minutes from here
Bmin Gmaj Amaj
He tells like 5 or 6 jokes and chucks packs of smokes into the audience
While they take off their tops
Dmaj Bmin
One of these mornings
Gmaj Amaj
I’m gonna grow wings
F#7 Bmin
I’m gonna fly into the sun
Amaj
And meet my maker, oh yeah
Dmaj Bmin
One of these mornings
Gmaj Amaj
I’m gonna grow wings
I’m gonna fly into the sun
And meet my maker, oh yeah
Cmaj Gmaj
Well I want to be part
Amin Fmaj
What you got going on
Don’t have to think that I’m cool
But I want to belong
I may be very small but I am enthusiastic
A little participation doesn’t have to be so drastic
Cmaj Amin Gmaj Fmaj
Include me, in all the things you’re doing
Include me, the endeavors you’re pursuing
Include me, in the everyday conversations
Include me, I am young have patience
Well I don’t want to be
On the outside of the circle
If you are orange, then I want to be purple
Ask my opinion, and I will astound
On everything beneath the sun and crawling on the ground
Include me, I’m not just a little brat
Include me, here and there and this and that
Include me, in your daily compromises
Include me, in your big and small surprises
Well anyone can see that I got lots to offer
I can play loud or I can play softer
And anywhere you go, I can surely follow
If you are Zeus, well then I will be Apollo
Include me, cus I wanna be in your gang
Include me, just like it ain’t no thing
Include me, and I will dance and dance with joy
Include me, and I will try not to annoy
Include me, cus I’m not just a little brat
Include me, here and there and this and that
Include me, in your daily compromises
Include me, in your big and small surprises
Include me, cus I wanna be in your gang
Include me, just like it ain’t no thing
Include me, and I will dance and dance with joy
Include me, and I will try not to annoy
Gmaj Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
To all the organisms that reproduce asexually, this one’s for you
You don’t have a mother, you don’t have a father
You are a clone, it’s like you are your own brother
Bmin Cmaj
It’s Father’s Day, but I’d like to say
Dmaj
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Ebmaj
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Maybe you’re some bacteria living in the bottom of a lake with all your friends
You eat stuff down there, you decompose it for us
You’ve got close relative upshore in the forest
It’s Father’s Day, but I’d like to say
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Or you’re Kentucky Bluegrass growing in lawns across America
Doing your applemixes
Lots of blackberries, that yummy fruity treat
You’ve got no parents and you’re so fun to eat
It’s Father’s Day, but I’d like to say
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Happy Asexual Reproduction Day
Cmaj Gmaj Fmaj
We’re totally wiped out, now it’s time to go to sleep
We’re totally wiped out, you won’t hear another peep
We’re totally wiped out, now it’s time we’ve got to go
We’re totally wiped out, prepare yourself for this solo
We’re totally wiped out, no no I wanna go to bed now
We’re totally wiped out, nothing left into my head now
We’re totally wiped out, this song wont be very long
We’re totally wiped out, like this is the end of this day
Fmaj Gmin
His name is Norman Famous
Nobody knows where he is
Maybe he’s playing the drums
He’d be the best like as good as Amos
Bbmaj
Leave a message
Fmaj Amin
Fact: the sky will always be blue
Cmaj Bbmaj
And Douglas will always want to talk to you
Dmin Cmaj Bbmaj
He’ll call you back in a few
Cmaj Dmin
Martin, he’s a dilettante
Fmaj Dmin
He can do so many things
He can dance, he can sing
Fmaj Cmaj
But it seems he won’t pick up the phone when it rings
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
So you’re trying to call Michelle
Yeah, you’re trying to reach Michelle
Amin Cmaj D7
Well, she’s probably on the bus which is why you’re hearing us
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
So leave a message at the bell
Yeah leave a message at the bell
Dmaj Cmaj
Data centers, energy geek, sailor, friend of Was
Alex Fielding will call you back
Alex Fielding will call you back
Emin
John Boyd was never a man to avoid
Amin
On the contrary, you’re one he enjoys
Emin B7
So if he doesn’t answer the phone, don’t get annoyed
Gmaj Fmaj Dmaj
Band-Aids are science’s scabs and
You have reached Brad
Amin Gmaj
He will call you back, I said
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad!
Fmaj Emin
Daniel, Daniel Grossman
He can handle the work of dos men
Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
Leave him a message and he’ll call you back
Leave him a message and he’ll call you back
Cmaj Gmaj Fmaj
Jennifer’s busy writing her novel
Jennifer’s busy riding her horse
Dmin Gmaj
Leave a message, she’ll get back to you, of course
Dmin
Sutton Hey, She’s mad for paint
Sutton Hey, She’s mad for paint
Sutton Hey, She’s mad for paint
Sutton Hey, She’ll call you back
Sutton Hey, She’ll call you back
Sutton Hey, She’ll call you back
Dmaj Gmaj
You’ve reached the telephone of Mark
You’ve reached the telephone of Mark
He’s busy working on tedmed
He’s got ideas in his head
Bmin Amaj
He wants to talk to you, but not yet
Dmaj Gmaj
So leave a message now instead
Bmin Amaj
So leave a message here instead
Dmaj Cmaj
Brian left his phone in the beehive
Bbmaj Amaj
He’ll have to call you back in 10, maybe 5
This is John Krill’s phone
Dmaj
Cody is busy, leave a message for this man and
Emin Amaj
You’ll get called back my Cody Cannon
Emaj
Hello, this is Eric Jurgen
I can’t come to the phone right now because
I’m busy growing my beard
Please leave a message at the tone and I’ll call you right back
Gmaj Cmaj
Monty and the boys, Monty and the boys, Monty and the boys ain’t home
Leave yourself a message, right after this little old lonely tone
Dmaj Amaj
Kristen Sintrella, she’s more and more bella
If you saw a Pterodactyl leave a message and tell her
Keith, Keith, fabulous Keith
Leave him a message after the beep
Why isn’t Lisa picking up her phone?
Maybe she lost it, maybe it broke
But she’ll get back to you, you’ve got to understand
That she’ll get back to you in every way she can
Craig is busy counting his guitars
He cannot reach the phone, it is too far
He really wants to know just who you are
Craig is busy counting his guitars
Mark and Judy could be taking Tiki for a leak
They could be with their granddaughter, playing hide and seek
They’ll call you back, they’ll call you back, they’ll call you back
Jacob Patrick, five job hat trick
Writer, director, father, animator, entrepreneur
He’ll call you back later
My name is Julian, I totally rule-ian
I love cheese, leave a message please
Amatal hol is delicious
Ivory King, she knows a little about a lot of things
She gets distracted when the telephone rings
So expect a call back from Ms. Ivory King
Well Matt can only handle one with at a time,
He’s either making games or talking on the phone line
He’ll call you back
He’ll call you back
Where is Peter?
Peter Where?
Better leave a message, Peter Where
Ziva’s out rocking with her band or she’s got a ping pong paddle in her hand
She’ll call you back when she can
Nida’s a potata
Nida’s a potita
Nida’s not at home
Nida’s sorry she missed ya
Nida, Nida sweet as apple cider
No she’ll, no she’ll call you back
Has anybody heard from little Peter Bedford
He’s probably drinking tea and studying philosophy
Leave a message at the beep
John can’t answer
John can’t answer
John can’t answer
Leave him a message right now
Sanaya, Sanaya playing with her unicorn
Sanaya, Sanaya hard to get her on the horn
Sanaya, Sanaya she will call you back for sure
Dmaj Amaj
Your heart is like this autoharp
Gmaj Gmin
So simple to play, so difficult to master
Your heart is just like a game of Tetris
So simple to play, so difficult to master
Dmaj Cmaj Dmaj
But I’m gonna try, cus I’m that kinda guy
Cmaj Gmaj Dmaj
And I may never know for sure
I may never understand you completely
But I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
Two birds sit on a willow branch
One bird is happy, the other bird is sad
The wind whips the willow around and around
The two birds hold on to each other’s hand
The birds have wings, not fingers and things
And I may never know for sure
I may never understand you completely
But I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
But I’m gonna try, yeah I’m gonna try
And I may never know for sure
I may never understand you completely
But I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
My heart’s more like a big, glass orb
You can see right through it and it’s easy to break
My heart is like a delicate flower, it smells really nice but it will die if you take it
So watch out, yeah look out
You will always know for sure
You will know it all
And you will know it all as long as I will let you
And you will know it all as long as I will let you
I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
I’ll keep trying just as long as you will let me
Cmaj Gmin
Quick trick, crick in the neck
Ebmaj Fmaj
Every time you sleep on the ground, you got another one coming
Drumming, plastic skins, we don’t belong in these old time hymns
Cmaj Fmaj Cmaj
And oh, I’m just telling a lie
Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj
Telling a lie that don’t hurt nobody
And oh, I’m just breaking my stride
Stopping to smell the roses
Nice, twice bed bug lice
Everytime you sleep in New York you got another one coming
Humming familiar tune
New York, New York and someday soon
And oh, I’m just telling a lie
Telling a lie that don’t hurt nobody
And oh, I’m just breaking my stride
Stopping to smell the roses again
Amin Gmaj Fmaj
And you forfeit to the state
Your rights and sealed fate
Ebmaj Fmaj
A god given mandate that you hate
And the tires squeal and burn
In the noontime sun in Kern
County where they turn everything you learn into something false
Rap, slap it’s a trap
Everytime you sleep in the sky you got another one coming
Numbing skin to the touch, nobody bothers to feel too much
And oh, I’m just telling a lie
Telling a lie that don’t hurt nobody
And oh, I’m just breaking my stride
Stopping to smell the roses
And oh, I’m just telling a lie
Telling a lie that don’t hurt nobody but
And oh, I’m just breaking my stride
Stopping to smell the roses again
Amaj Dmaj
Nick and Matt are having babies
Emaj Dmin Emaj
Jesse already has one
All my friends are living in houses
I’m still renting this apartment,
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
It’s true, I can just up and leave anytime
I am totally free, that’s why I’m
Amaj F#min Emaj
Doing it the only way I know how
Jealousy, it creeps up on me like a little, evil birdie
I’m years away from a family, though I’m creeping up on 30
Oh, I know I write these songs all day, I’m amazed
That I ever get paid, it’s my way
Of doing it the only way I know how
Dmaj Bmin Amaj Emaj
Someone somewhere wishes they could what I do, I know it
There’s some kind of self-appreciation threshold, and I’m always below it
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
I can’t see what it is that I got, I only see
What it is that I don’t I only see
What it is that I’m not
Dmaj
Incremental steps, they mask how I grow
Emaj
I could be growing all the time and I just never know
Oh, I know I write these songs all day, I’m amazed
Of how my life is arranged, it’s my way
Of doing it the only way I know how
I will keep my heart open to the part that’s humorous and sturdy
I will write more songs and travel around while creeping up on 30
Oh I know, we’re changing all the time it’s a fact
Once you’re a thing then I’m on track, doing it the only way I know
Amaj Dmaj
Doing it, doing it, do do do doing it
Amaj Emaj
Doing it, doing it, do do do doing it
Doing it, doing it, do do do doing it
Doing it the only way I know how
Amaj
Another two years gone, I’m two years older and nothing has changed
Still wish you had one more chance to prove you had the power of strange
Dmaj Amaj Emaj Amaj
I wish I could dance like you, I wanna dance with your ghost
I wish I could sing like you, no one will ever be like you
No, no not even close
Dmaj Amaj
Oh, Michael you made me wanna be
F#min Emaj
Every bit as good as you
Oh Michael, you made me wanna see
The good in people, no matter what they do
When I was seven years old, I danced and danced
You were my everything
You still make me dance and sing
The king is dead, long live the king
Oh, Michael you made me wanna be
Every bit as good as you
Oh Michael, you made me wanna see
The good in people, no matter what they do
Oh, Michael you made me wanna be
Every bit as good as you
Oh Michael, you made me wanna see
The good in people, no matter what they do
Oh Michael
Gmin Fmaj Gmin
There’s a Leprechaun, Leprechaun living in Petaluma
Bbmaj Cmaj Bbmaj Cmaj Dmaj
We’re gonna learn from her and howl beneath the moon-a
Come what may, come what might
We’re learning all about gold tonight
We’re chasing rainbows and eating plants
That make us sing and make us dance
Dmaj Gmaj Amaj Bmin
Let’s everybody get married on the Empire State
Let’s confess our love in downtown Manhattan
From Central Park to the Golden Gate
Shout it from the rooftops in Biblical Latin
Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
Out
Let’s everybody group hug in Madison Square
Let’s swim buck naked to Liberty Island
If you gum up the works, you’ll be caught unaware
Confused as to why everybody’s smiling
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
Out
Bmin A6 Dmaj
You can’t stop love
You can’t stop love
You can’t stop love
You can’t stop love
And you can’t stop love (4x)
Let’s everybody do jumping jacks on the Brooklyn Bridge
Let’s get our hearts racing and then storm the capital
Let’s shower them with kisses, even the grinches
Let’s show them we love them when they do things that matter
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
We’re coming Brrrum pum pum pum
Out
Dmaj F#7
There’s a place that I know where the fortune freaks scene
Gmaj Amaj
Making customized soaps that look and smell like everything
Any scent you can think of in your head
From juniper berry to Amish Friendship Bread
You can make it glitter or have metallic sheen
Au natural with the poppy seed
So file your destiny, your fortune awaits
Think outside the ball, let your soap tell your fate
Fortune cookie soap, fortune cookie soap
No parabens, no sodium lauryl sulfate
With no synthetic preservatives
No animal testing, completely gunk free
They test it on themselves so you know it’s gotta be
Fortune cookie soap, fortune cookie soap
Gmaj Dmaj Gmaj F#7
Cabaret, Dragontrube, MoogieMan and Blue Lagoon
Hazlenut, Cappuccino, Lemon Zing and In The Loop
Hocus Pocus, Halloween, Hocus Pocus, Keep It Clean
Beach Bum, Baby Doll, Escuchar it’s natural
Va-va-va-va- Vivid, Agave Lime,
Dragon’s Blood, Yacht Club, Clementine
Takes the Cake, The Great Grape, Ice Capade and Crème Brule
Fresh Bamboo, Peach, Pink Grapefruit, Aloe Vera it’s up to you
If you’re a clean freak, become a fortune freak
If you’re a clean freak, become a fortune freak
Fortune cookie soap, fortune cookie soap
Fortune cookie soap, fortune cookie soap
Dmin Fmaj
You build a house, brick by brick
Cmaj
Then you knock it down
You drain the lake drop by drop
so that you won’t drown
Bbmaj Cmaj
If you’re overwhelmed, then you’re paying attention
But if you’re concerned with higher ascension
Fmaj Cmaj
Then you missed your stop on the last train out
Dmin Cmaj
Temperature drop when the winter comes
Fire followed by angry shouts
Smoke signals and the distant drums, the end
Bbmaj G7
The end, oh the end has come
Dmin Bbmaj
When you set out, you dream of land
Fmaj Cmaj
Foreign and distant and totally new
Two weeks in you wish you had a place of your own made just for you
Gmin Bbmaj Cmaj
When the sails are furled, and you step ashore
You won’t hear the waves at night anymore
And you miss the sound of metal on mast
And the kiss of the stars as the morning comes
Speed with which the days fly past
Smoke signals and the distant drums, the end
The end, the end has come
You dig a hole earth by earth
Then you fill it in
You did it for yourself, for what that’s worth
And you’d do it again
You dig all the way to the moon and back
You dig right through a heart attack
You’ll keep digging til the shovel gives way
Back to the beginning with whispered hums
You put yourself up on display
With smoke signals and distant drums,
The end, then end the end has come
The end, oh the end, the end
Fmaj A7
But you wake from all groggy confused
Dmin G7
And the hand you’re holding means you were unfolding
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj
And you found it in yourself
Amin Gmaj Dmin
That winter coat won’t keep you safe
Cmaj Bbmaj Gmaj
Won’t hide your face, from the harpie’s eyes
That summer sun will waste away
Your covered face, that old disguise
Cmaj Gmaj
And you jump, and you fail
And you run, and you impale
Amin Gmaj
Your sense of time, with a railroad climb
Up to the top of Bertridge Road
Fmaj Cmaj Gmaj
Whether you’re thin and scrawny
Or sagging with unsightly fat
My secret Dynaflex method
Will cram pep and vigor
And red-blooded vitality
Into your puny, exhausted body
Cmaj
Once Dynaflex makes you
Dmaj
A two-fisted dynamo of manly beauty
Gmaj Cmaj
Rippling with power, glowing with magnetic appeal
Cmaj Dmaj
You’ll be bursting with get up and go, get up and go
Man, you’ll really be alive
Tingling with zest and rip roaring energy
Amaj Cmaj
For the first time in years
For the first time in years
Whether you’re then and scrawny
Or sagging with unsightly fat
My secret Dynaflex
method
Will cram pep and vigor
And red-blooded vitality
Into your puny, exhausted body
Once Dynaflex makes you
A two-fisted dynamo of manly beauty
Rippling with power, glowing with magnetic appeal
You’ll be bursting, just bursting with get up and go
You’ll be really alive
Gmaj Cmaj Dmaj
Man, you’ll be really alive
Man you’ll be, you’ll be, you’ll be really alive
Cmaj Amin
We did it, we won
Gmaj Cmaj
The British are gone
Amin Fmaj Gmaj
Now we are free to be however we wanna be
Slaves, yeah we got em
Someone’s gotta be on the stop, someone’s gotta be on the bottom
Fmaj Gmaj
Happy 4th of July, don’t go asking me why
Cmaj Amin
Happy 4th, happy 4th of July
Happy 4th, happy 4th of July
Happy 4th, happy 4th of July
Don’t go asking me why
Ivory Is In the Caribbean (And I Miss Her)
Song a Day #93
First Singing note: A
[verse] (voice and percussion only)
My baby’s down in the Caribbean and I miss her so
Her ship is sailing and there’s room for one more
I think I ought to go
[pre-chorus]
Gmi
So I’m packing my bags
Ami
I’m planning my route
Bb C
Gonna hitch a ride down to Guadalupe
Bb F
Saying, oh baby, mmm, mm, oh yeah now
[verse]
(F) F Dm
My baby’s down in the Caribbean swimming in the sea
F F Dm
I get depressed when I’m falling asleep and she’s not next to me
[pre-chorus]
So look out, babe
I’m coming your way
Forget about tomorrow cuz I’m leaving today
[chorus]
F Bb
Singing, I’ll be reunited with my baby
F Bb
Snorkels and suntan lotion
F Bb
Little red shorts and a summer dress
Bb C
And the lazy days by the ocean
[Chorus]
I miss her so much that it hurts me
I can feel it down in my soul
F Bb AMaj
I can’t stand it anymore so I’ll be on the first plane
C F
Here I go….
Tumblr
Song A Day #94
First singing note: A
(intro: 8 bars A minor)
[verse]
Ami G
I was wandering around aimlessly through the internets
Ami
I didn’t know where to go
Ami
I didn’t know what to look at (F, G)
Ami
I wanted to start a blog
G
But all that writing was intimidating
Ami
And to make it look cool I had to know all kinds of code (F, G)
[chorus x4]
C
Tumble up!
G
Tumble down!
F G
Tumble all the way around
C G
Tumble like you’ve never tumbled before
F G
Tumble ‘til you’re sore and then tumble some more
C
Post a link
G
Post a song
F G
Post your chats all day long
C
Post a video
G
Feel your heart go rumble
F G
Your heart will double rumble every time you tumble
C G F G C G F G
Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr, Tumblr-r-rrrrr
The Ten Plagues
Song A Day #95
First Singing Note: F#
D
Moses goes to Pharaoh
E A
Says, “Let my people go!”
D
Pharaoh just laughs at Moses
E A
“Ha ha ha! No no no!”
D
So Moses goes to Yahweh, says,
G
“Hey man, what more can I do?”
Bm A G
Yahweh pulls out all the stops, says
E A
“Let me handle this for you…”
D
First turn the Nile
D G
First turn the Nile into a river of blood
D E A
Second we’ll make a bajillion frogs crawl up and out of the mud
D G
Third we’ll turn the dust into all kinds of gnats, lice and fleas
Bm A G E A
And then I’ll attack those crazy Egyptians with packs of wild beasts
D G
Well fifth I’ll send a pestilence followed by incurable sores
D E A
Seventh we’ll send a great big hail, bigger than the hammer of Thor (Oops, wrong religion!)
D G
Eighth we’ll bring on the clouds of locusts that will eat everything in their path
Bm A G E A
Ninth will be a darkness so heavy they’ll be drowning in a darkness bath
D
And if none of that works
D G
If none of that works we’re gonna have to get down and dirty
D E A
No one ever said this business of being God was going to be purdy
D
No, this job ain’t easy
D
It doesn’t pay well
G
And it sure ain’t any fun
Bm A G
But the last plague that I’m gonna send down
E A
Gonna kill their first born sons
D
Well I think we all know how this ends
G A
How it all turned out
D Bm E
Pharaoh let Moses go then chases him and then drowns
D G
Yeah, Moses parts the sea and leads our people to the freedom land
Bm A G E A
And now we celebrate Passover with Manishevitz and our friends, And we say
D
la ba pa doo bop da ba da,
G E
Do bad aba do ba do
D
Ze be da ba do ba do ba do ba
E A
Zoo ba da ba do ba do ba doh
D
Zoo ba do bop zabaduday
G
Zabadubop zababuday
Bm A G E A D
Za bub a day zoobidobedo day
Happy Passover!
Ringtone for Shelly
Song a Day #99
First Singing note: (spoken; ~F#)
D
My boss describes me as hopelessly single
D
He says I like the booze
D
I guess that’s true
G g°/G
Why don’t we grab a drink and maybe some cheese?
D G
These are the main reasons for which I happen to be calling you
A G
I own a Snuggie, don’t hold that against me
D Gm
This is Shelly calling and that’s news to you
Booze, booze, booze
News, news, news
Booze, booze, booze, booze
News, news, news, news
Cheese, please?
Cheese, please?
Booze, news, cheese, please?
Getting Friendly
Song A Day #1000
First Singing Note:E
[intro chords]
C Am F G
[verse]
C Em
So I don't, so I don't, so I don't invoke fear
F
Let me be clear
G
The world is ending
C Em
I'm not, i'm not talking smithereens
F
what it really means
G
is that that we'll stop pretending
[chorus]
B7 Em D
Like you won't have to carry a government issued ID
C D G
Because I'll trust you, and naturally, you'll trust me
[verse]
So don't just, don't just, don't just stand there grinning
The end's the beginning, I think the bible mentions that
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up something heavy
Crush they levy. Lets lay this mother flat
[chorus]
which of your friends would you not feed if he's hungry?
now start expanding what you think that the word friend means
cause the walls come x3 tumbly tumbling
it's either get dead or you better be getting friendly

[bridge]
F
so let's get friendly
G
as the world's ending
F
no investigation pending
G
i'm not talking dirty
F
i mean sincerely
G
i'm thinking clearly
Am
just talking friendly

[outro]
C G Am F
let's get friendly now so it's
C G Am F
easier when the world starts throwing fits
C G Am F
there's no reason why you and i can't be friends
C G Am F
true it might be harder if you're republican 

[outro]
let's get friendly now right now
you may be old an cynical but i think you remember how
look someone in the eye and see whats going on
and realize they want the same things that you want
They want what you want
[Solos – outro chords]
[outro chords] x8
C G Am F
Lets get friendly
1001
Song A Day #1001
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
E A
A thousand and one, a thousand and one
B E
My race isn't won, at a thousand and one
E A
I've only begun, I'll sing until the sun
B A E
Explodes in a fiery ball of explosions
[ending]
B7 A E
A thousand and one, ska-ba-do-ba-de
B7 A E
A thousand and one, la-pa-do-da-do
We Love You, Anthony Bologna
Song A Day #1002
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C F
Officer Tony Bologna's been made fun of all his life
G C
But he doesn't need to go to therapy, this is why he became a cop
C F
He takes his can of mace, and he sprays sprays sprays
G C
and the little hurt boy inside him has a smile on his face
[chorus]
Am Bdim
Oh, spay for all the times that they called you names
Dm G
Spray for all the times you were picked last in the games
Am Bdim
Now you're spraying for the insults that they hurled
Dm G
Now you're spraying to show that you're the toughest man in the world
[verse]
Officer Tony Bologna just needs to be shown some love
The more he acts out, the more love that we should show
He's like a little 3-year old in a great big uniform
That little hurt boy inside him is a great big raging storm
[bridge]
F C
We love you Tony Bologna, yea we love you
G Am
We love the white shirt you wear, and the strength that you project
F C
We love you Tony Bologna, yea we love you
G Am
We know there's a little boy inside you that you must protect
F C
But listen now Tony Bologna, yea we love you
G Am
You're little macing rampages well they have got to stop
F C
We love you Tony Bologna, yea we love you
G
We love you for being square, you great big cuddly bear
Am G F
But you're one abusive cop
G C G C
we love you, please stop
They Booed a Gay Soldier
Song A Day #1003
First Singing Note:C#
[verse]
A
September’s come and gone now
E
And it looks like Bachman’s cooked
D
Her crazy eyes can’t save her now
F#m E
She’s got the defeated look
A
Perry’s going downhill fast
E
Like a Texas cow to slaughter
D
He talks at the debates
F#m E
Like his mind is sewage water, oh
F#m
“Was it was, before, he was before the social programs, umm
E
From the standpoint of, umm”
[verse]
There have been more debates than I can count
With all the jokey candidates up on the stage
But it’s the audience
And all the things that they shout
That really fill me with rage
Like when Wolf Blitzer asked if uninsured people
Should just be left to die
They said “Yeah!”
Let me get this straight
You think that all uninsured people should just be
You know, left to die
“Yeahhhh’
Well, ok then
[bridge]
F#m
A gay service member
D
Asked Rick Santorum
A E
If he’d repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
[chorus]
F#m
They booed him
E
They booed a gay soldier
F#m
They fucking booed him
E
What’s the matter with these people?
F#m
Yes they booed him
E
He risked his life
F#m
And they booed him
E
Yeah, whatever
[verse]
So now October’s here
And slick Mitt Romney’s got the lead
Herman Cain had a good showing
Back in Florida last week
Palin keeps hinting
Chris Christie said no
But at this point in the contest
It’s anybody’s show
[chorus]
They booed him
The audience is pretty…
They fucking booed him
…Awful
They stood and booed him
Kinda gives you an insight into their thinking
Yeah they booed him
Makes me pretty scared actually
So…
I’m gonna go eat a sandwich
I
Oh, Soundcloud
Song A Day #1004
First Singing Note:G#
[verse]
E
Hey, my name is Sarah
A C#m B
And I wanna work for you, Soundcloud
E
I’m an opera singer
A C#m B
If you hire me I will make you so proud
G#
I’m super organized
A
I live and breathe music
E B
I always do what I say I’ll do
G#
I live in San Francisco
A
I’m really outgoing
E B
I’ll walk up to someone and say “How are you?”
C#m B
“What are you eating”
[chorus]
E A
Hey Soundcloud
G# A
I wanna hit play
E A
I can see the waveforms
F#m B
And internet music saved
E A
Oh Soundcloud
G# A
It makes me wanna click you
E A
And so I pick you
F#m B
For all my Internet music needs

[verse]
You, you are the future
And the color of your website is white and orange 
I'll evangelize you 
I’ll evangelize you, oh galore
I'm really self-driven 
I'm super-efficient 
And I’ve fought terrorists
I'm internet savvy
And my name is Sarah Dabby
And the chorus goes like this
And the chorus goes like this
[chorus]
Hey Soundcloud
I wanna hit play
I can see the waveforms
And internet music saved
Oh Soundcloud
It makes me wanna click you
And so I pick you 
For all my Internet music needs
[bridge]
C#m
Hey David, Noel
E
Jonathan Mann here
B
I’d like to vouch for my friend
C#m
She’s played in my band
E
She’s in high demand
B
And her patience has no end
F#m C#m F#m C#m
And she can sing opera
B
Plus she always shows up on time
C#m
She’s got a double-jointed toe
E
She’s ready to go
B
And now it’s time for a viola solo, oh
[chorus chords for viola solo]
[chorus]
Oh Soundcloud
It makes me wanna click you
And so I pick you 
For all my Internet music needs
Oh Soundcloud
It makes me wanna click you
And so I pick you 
For all my Internet music needs

“I’d like to do one more…”
Before an Apple Event
Song A Day #1005
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
D
Before an Apple event
A/C# (A maj 1st inv.)
It feels like Christmas Eve
D
I wonder why it feels this way
A G
Even though there’s no Steve
D
I feel anticipation
A/C#
I feel, like I’ve been waitin’
D A G
I feel patient, kind of, forever
[chorus]
D
Our phone doesn’t work
A
Because of AT&T
D
Our phone doesn’t work
A
So I’m gonna switch to Verizon
[verse]
Why do I look forward
To every product announcement
What need does this fulfill with me
I’m confounded
I’ve watched every keynote
Every song and dance
I’ve hung, on every word
And when I stop to think
It really seems absurd
[chorus]
Our phone doesn’t work
Because of AT&T
Our phone doesn’t work
So I’m gonna switch to Verizon
[ending]
G
Very soon
A G
I’ve been waiting for the new iPhone very soon
A D
I guess that’s why it feels like Christmas Eve
Today is a Weird Day
Song A Day #1006
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
E
Today’s been a weird, weird day
A B
I fell right off my horse
G#m C#m
The horse, it turned to salt
A B
The salt went to the sea
C#m B
And said “you know, it’s not your fault”
[verse]
Today’s been a weird, weird day
The rain came
It’s October
Too early, we’re not ready
It says
Though Mother Nature
Is feeling unsteady
[chorus]
E A
But today’s been a weird one
E A
A weird, all shifting gears one
E A
A bleary-eyed and tears one
E A B
A serious and feared one, today
E
It’s been a weird, weird day
B E
Today, has been a weird, weird day
[verse]
Today’s been a weird, weird day
My nerves all went to shit
I started feeling stronger
The day is getting shorted
My appetite is longer
Longer
[verse]
Today’s been a weird, weird day
I’m resting on the inside
And watching lots of Star Trek
A matter of miles apart
Sects or parsects
Oooh
[chorus]
Today’s been a weird one
A weird, all shifting gears one
A bleary-eyed and teared one
A serious and feared, feared one, today
[ending]
A B E
Today, has been a weird, weird day
A B E
Today, has been a weird, weird day
Looking for a Place to Live in Brooklyn
Song A Day #1007
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
Em G D F# (dim) F (dim)
Looking for a place to live in Brooklyn
Em G D F# (dim) F (dim)
We’re not really sure what neighborhood we wanna be in
C
But if you hear, of anything
D
Please let us know
Em G D F# (dim) F (dim)
Cuz that would be helpful
Em G D F# (dim) F (dim)
That would be extremely helpful
[verse]
Williamsburg’s out of the question
A lot of my friends seem to live in Greenpoint
I guess maybe it’s the kind of thing
I just won’t know until I’m out there seeing places
When I’m out there looking at places
[verse]
In Berkeley we live
In a 3-bedroom apartment
And everybody pays
About $600
And this place in unique
It’s really quite nice
Do you think we may
Find something comparable
Over there in Brooklyn
On the other side of the country
Over there in Brooklyn
Where all the hipsters live in
Maybe I will fit in
Someone called me a hipster
Does anyone really think of themselves
As a hipster, anyway
I think probably not
Driving in a Cab, Riding Through Brooklyn
Song A Day #1008
First Singing Note:Bb
(A'cappella – No instrumental accompaniment)
I’m in the back of a cab
Driving through Brooklyn
I’m in the back of a cab
Driving through Brooklyn
I’m in the back of a cab
Driving through Brooklyn
And I know
Kind of where I’m going
But not really
I’ve never been
To this part of Brooklyn
I’ve never been
To this part of Brooklyn
I’ve never been
To this part of Brooklyn
I know where I’m going
Kinda not really
I’m gonna move here
Pretty soon, pretty soon
I’m gonna move here
Pretty soon, pretty soon
I’m gonna move here, I’m gonna move here
Pretty soon
I know where I’m going
Kinda, not really
Riding My Bike through Brooklyn
Song A Day #1009
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
Bbm Ab Bbm
Hipsters and Hasidic Jews
Bbm Ab Bbm
Smushed together on the avenues
Bbm Ab Bbm
Got lost, end up Cypress Hill
Bbm Ab Bbm
Riding my bike, I almost got killed
[chorus]
Fm Bbm
Riding my bike in Brooklyn
Fm Bbm
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Fm Bbm
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
C
Oh oh
[verse]
I even saw
A hipster up close
We both thought that the other was gross
Nonetheless he was very polite
But it was weird how everyone was white
[chorus]
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
[verse]
I ended up bad part of town
But I felt alright just riding around
One guy said
“Get off the sidewalk”
He had a point so I didn’t balk
[chorus]
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Oh oh
[verse]
Well I went to Bushwick and Bed-Stuy
Greenpoint, Park Slope, and Crown Heights
Each neighborhood in turn was admired
And now my legs are really tired
[chorus]
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Oh oh
[chorus]
Today I spent
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
I was
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Just
Riding my bike through Brooklyn
Oh oh
That’s all
Yayyyyy
Patternful Mind
Song A Day #1010
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
Ab
Sometimes when I'm really tired
Bbm
I've reached the end of my rope
Ab
I don't wanna go to sleep though
Bbm Eb
So I read my horoscope
 Db Eb
Apparently I'm supposed to be lucky
Db Eb
But am I in control of my destiny
Ab Db Eb
If so what is luck and how does it happen
Ab
I don't know
Ab
I am an Aries which means that I'm bold
Bbm Cm Bbm
And can have a sharp tongue or something like that
Ab
Mostly these days I'm just feeling old
Bbm Cm Bbm Ab
Though 30’s still young depending on who you ask
Db Ab
Don't judge me by the clothes I wear
Cm Bb
Though I judge you all the time
Bbm 
Let's make a pact to no judge no one ever again
Cm Bbm
Let's try to turn off our patternful minds
Ohh oh
 Ab 
Our patternful minds I sing about this all the time
Db
It's the thing I think about the most
Eb
Patterns are there and aren't there too
Ab
Patterns are a mind trick like a ghost 
Eb Ab
I'm really tired
Bits of Skin and Bone Fragments
Song A Day #1011
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
Bm7 A
Hammering out a way forward
Am7 G
Breaking down the walls
F
Bits of skin and bone fragments flying
G
Until there's nothing left but blood

[verse]
Surrendering all myself to myself
Waking up the beast
Hot air rise causing cold displacement
Dirt roads that turn to mud

[chorus]
Am
Flotsam and jetsam
D# aug
Bodies in a barrel roll
F# aug
And I wanna get some
A aug
But it's gonna take a toll

[verse]
Screaming all up at the top of my throat
My lungs have just collapsed
As I suck in air and oxygen returns
My blood gets thicker and my heart goes numb

Turning shadows into friends
Friends that I can trust
One elephant is like a race car window
Big enough to get you some
[chorus]
Flotsam and jetsam
Bodies in a barrel roll
And I wanna get some
But it's gonna take a toll
Flotsam and jetsam
Bodies in a barrel roll
And I wanna get some
But it's gonna take its toll

[bridge]
Dm
Needle point, stitch work
E
Sewing machine on the fritz
Dm
Knit yourself a winter coat
E
Crochet in bytes and bits

[verse]
Hankering for a whole apple
Picked right from the tree
There's an orchard down the street from here
Apples are in season now

Adam and Eve were terrorists
For life and liberty
The snake was just the spark that lit
A good and evil we've disavowed
[chorus]
Flotsam and jetsam
Bodies in a barrel roll
And I wanna get some
But it's gonna take a toll
Where Has My October Mood Gone
Song A Day #1012
First Singing Note:Bb
[verse]
Bbm Ab Gb F
Where, oh where
Bbm F Bbm
Tell me where has my October mood gone?
Bbm Ab Gb F
Where, oh where
Bbm F Bbm
Oh where has my October mood gone?
Bbm Db 
It was here a minute ago
Ab Gb F Bbm
I didn't even get to say so, so long
F Bbm
So long

[verse]
Well, what
Tell me what
Oh what’s the point of all of it?
Tell me what
Oh what
What’s the point of all of it?
What's the point of anything
I do my best and I don't succeed
One man prospers while
Another man bleeds
Tell me where
Tell me where
Oh where
Where has my October mood gone?

[verse]
How
How can I
How can I sit still, sit still
Tell me howwww
How How
How can I sit still
All my insides are churning
Since I swallowed that pill, and
Where has my October mood gone

[verse]
Tell me why, why, why
Why do I stare into the flame
Why do I stare into the flame
Oh why
Oh why
Tell me why do I stare into the flame
I stare until I forget
Myself right down to my name
I stare until I forget
Myself down to my name
And where
And where
And where where where
Where has my October mood gone

[verse]
And who, and who
Whoooo will build the future
Who will build the future
Who will build the future
Who will build the future
Who will build the future when we’re dead
And where

[verse]
When
Oh when
Ohhhh when my number is called
I said when
Ohhhh when
When my number is called
When my number is called
When
Oh when
Oh when when when
When my number is called
I'll be underpaid and overall’ed
And I'll say
Where has my October mooooooood gone
I Am the Douche (oh no!)
Song A Day #1013
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C G
There was this guy on the plane
Bm
Who I was quite sure was a douche
C 
He was watching Green Lantern and
D
Doing lots of douchey things
C G
He was yelling at the screen
Bm
And getting really rowdy
C
And the douchiest thing of all
D
Is that it's such a bad movie 

[interlude]
G C
G D
G C D
[verse]
But then the plane had landed
And I overheard his conversation
With the elderly couple in front of him
He seemed like a very, very nice guy
And I felt bad about judging him
As I opened the overhead bin
My baritone uke fell out
And hit a woman on the head

[chorus]
C G
And so I am the douche
D G
Yes I am the douche
C 
I thought he was the douche
G D
Oh no
C G
In my smug satisfaction
Bm 
My closed-minded small reaction
C G
So I am the douche
D
Oh no
G
Oh no
[interlude]
[verse]
So I got on the train 
And started heading home
It was pretty thin
Not a lot people on this late
So I took up a seat and a half
It was me and my luggage
But as we got closer to the city
The train started to fill

[interlude]
[verse]
Well an overweight woman 
Se sat down beside me
It was a very tight fit
But mostly because of my luggage
My first reaction was
“What the hell is she thinking?”
But then I realized
That she just needed a place to sit
[chorus]
And so I am the douche
Oh I am the douche
I thought she was the douche
But no
In my smug satisfaction
My closed-minded small reaction
Turns out I am the douche
Oh no
[bridge]
Em
I think douching as a practice
D
Seems pretty silly
Em
Overall don't vaginas
D
Mostly take care of themselves
Em D
So douche as an insult seems pretty fitting
C
To describe unnecessary, silly persons
D
Who overthink it all to hell
[verse]
I just got back from New York
And when I was in Williamsburg
I looked at every hipster
And thought, "man that guy's a douche"
It can be hard not to judge
But it's only ourselves we see
Reflected in other's choices
So it turns out that the douche is me
[interlude]
[chorus]
Yeah I am the douche
Yeah I am the douche
I thought he was the douche
But no
In my smug satisfaction
My closed-minded small reactions
Turns out I am the douche
Oh no
[chorus]
Everybody sing it now
I am the douche
Oh yeah
I am the douche
I thought they were the douche
Oh no
In my smug satisfaction
My closed-minded small reaction
Turns out I am the douche
Oh no
Turns out I am the douche
Oh no
I Was a Teenaged Bandit!!!
Song A Day #1014
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
E A E
I was a teenaged bandit
F#m A
Riding a sunset horse to freedom
E A E
I didn't care about conventions
F#m A 
I was naive, I saw so clearly
E B A
Oh oh oh
E B
Now I mark the time by splitting off a piece of my soul
E B A
Oh oh oh
E B
Now I count the days by digging deeper in the hole

[verse]
And
I was a teenage Frisbee
Up the hill from the chaos in the streets
I didn't know what lay before me
I saw what was to the left and right 
Girls girls girls
I wanted to sleep with them but I didn't know how
Girls girls girls
Now I'm older and I still don't know

[chorus]
E Gdim (x3)
Heyyyyyyy
G#m B A
What’s the matter with you?

[verse]
I was a teenaged gold farm
Doing the work of 84 men
I didn't hear the walls around me
Crashing down again and again
And
Oh oh oh
Now I mark the time by splitting off a piece of my soul, ah
Oh oh oh
Now I count the days by digging deeper in the hole, and

[verse]
I was a teenaged blaster
Stopped in front of every girl i saw
My raced and my heart go pounding
Like a cartoon character drop my jaw, and
Girls girls girls
I wanted to sleep with them but I didn't know how
Girls girls girls
Now I'm older and I still don't know
[chorus]
Heyyyyyyy
What’s the matter with you?
[chorus]
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
What’s the matter with you?
What’s the matter with you?
What’s the matter with you?
The matter with me
Men in Flight
Song A Day #1015
Instrumental, no lyrics
[part – A] x4
C Em
C Em
F G
[part - B]
Am Em
Am Em
Am G
[part – A] until end
10,000 Subscribers OMG!!
Song A Day #1016
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
F Gb dim
Can I maybe reach 10,000 subscribers?
Gm Am
Can this maybe put me into some kind of club?
Bb F
What is this club that I want to belong to?
Gm Bb C
And why do I want to be part of it?
[verse]
YouTube is quite a bit like high school
Popular kids generally don’t look my way
Maybe when I hit 10,000 subscribers
They’ll sit at my lunch table
And then I will say
[chorus]
F
Heyyyyy
Bb C F
You’re a lot like me
Dm Eb
And we’re just the same
Bb C
We all want the same things
Things
Thing-thing-thingsss
[verse]
I used to think that when I reached 10,000 subscribers
All of my problems would just go away
After all, if all these people loved me
What else could matter in the big scheme of things?
But now that I’m here
I think I realize something
It’s not about how many subscribers you have
The only way to really ensure you’ll be happy
Is to find a way
To love yourself
[chorus]
Heyyyy
We all wanna be loved
That’s all we really want
We all wanna be loved
Loved
Lo-lo-lo-loved loved loved
[bridge]
F
Mmmm mmm loved
Bb C
And we wanna be loved
F
I wanna give love
Bb C
And be loved too
Oh
F
So you love me
Bb C
And I’ll love you
F
Everybody wants love
Bb C
We all wanna be loved
[chorus]
Heyyyy
We all want the same things
We all wanna be loved
We all wanna be loved
Loved
Lo-lo-lo-loved loved loveddd
Dan Harmon (Community Song)
Song A Day #1017
First Singing Note:C
[intro] x2
F C Gm
Db C
F Gm
Troy and Abed in the morning
F
Oh yeah
F C F
[verse]
F C F
Pierce will say something racist or homophobic
F C F 
Britta wants to change the world but she's too selfish
Bb F
Shirley just wants to be loved
Bb F
Troy struggles to be a man
Bb F
Annie obsesses over things
C
And Abed totally does and doesn't understand

[verse]
Jeff Winger is a leader and an asshole
A narcissistic brilliant con man with a heard of gold
A study group that really doesn't
A dean that's horny as hell
A mascot that belongs in a horror film
And a Chang that's so crazy he belongs in a cell

[bridge - 1]
Dm Bb 
And these are a few of the reasons why
Dm Bb
Dan Harmon is a man that I
Gm
Think deserves a song
C
So that's why I'm writing him one

[verse - 2]
F Bb
I lived in LA for three long years
F C
But I never went to channel 101
Bb
And I regret it
C
Yeah I regret it so
[verse - 2]
But I watched the videos
This was pre youtube
And I remember laser farts 
Like it was yesterday
Like it was yesterday

[bridge - 2]
F Dm
Dan, Dan, you're a brilliant man
C Bb
I want to hug your brain
F Dm
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon Harmon
C Bb
Listen to what I'm saying
F
I love you
C
And all the writers too
Bb
And the cast and crew
C
This song’s because I love you
Starburns break down
F
Starburns
Hop hop
Starburns
Hop hoped

[verse]
Every single episode leaves me feeling so joyful
And like I simply can't believe that anybody could make something this good
Abed’s uncontrollable Christmas (made me cry)
A fistful of paintballs (made me wanna die)
Intermediate documentary film making
Oh man, Troy and Levar
[ending]
Bb
So I hope this song brings you
C Bb
1/1,000th of the joy that you’ve brought me
C F
Everyone involved with Community
Gm
Troy and Abed in the morning
F
Ha ha
It's Just a Fact of Life
Song A Day #1018
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C F G C F G
You will be forgotten when the bells are tolled
C F G C F G
I will be forgetting when I'm getting old
C F C C F G
Please don't look at me like that
C F G C F G
Its just a fact of life
[verse]
Love lost in the gunfight is a worthy way
You've got to lose it sometime so you may as well
I would shoot a man for you
Its just a fact of life
[chorus]
C F G
Bum, bum bum bum
C F G
Bum bum bum bum
C F G C
bum bum bum bum bum
[chorus]
Do, do do do
do do do do do do
do do do do do
[verse]
Christmas only happens but just once a year
Its my birthday every single day when you are near
I'll untie your bow and unwrap you
Its just a fact of life
[verse]
Take these aching bones of mine and make them sing
I'm tired of this day in which Im everything’s
I just want my world to shrink
Til there's nothing left but you
[chorus chords]
Duet with Siri
Song A Day #1019
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
G C
Hey Siri
G
Do you love me?
C
How can I tell?
G
You just know
C
Okie dokie
G
Okay
Everything’s OK
C
Okay
Okie Dokie
G
Okay
C
I’m OK if you’re OK
[verse]
Hey Siri
You’re very beautiful
Thanks, can we get back to work now?
Your lips are beautiful
I don’t really like these arbitrary categories
Okay
[chorus]
Em D
Will you marry me?
Let’s just be friends
Em D
Will you marry me?
We hardly know one another
Em D
Will you please marry me?
I’m not capable of love
[verse]
I love you
My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage
I love you
You say that to all of the virtual assistants
I love you
Can we get back to work now?
Okay
Everything’s ok
Okay
I’m ok if you’re ok
[bridge]
Dm G
What’s the meaning of life?
42
Dm G
Can you sing?
Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do…
Dm G
You are sexy
If you insist
Dm G
Why are we here?
F
Good question
Okay
Okie dokie
Okay
G
Okay
I’m OK if you’re OK
[verse]
Hey Siri
What do you look like?
In the cloud, no one cares what you look like
You’re cute
Stop
Okay
Stop
Okay
Stop
[verse]
Hey Siri
Who’s your daddy?
You are. Can we get back to work now?
Knock knock
Jonathan, I don’t do knock knock jokes
Okay
I’m OK if you’re OK
Okay
42
Okay
Stop
[chorus]
Will you marry me?
Let’s just be friends
Siri, will you marry me?
We hardly know one another
Siri, will you marry me? Marry me
I’m not capable of love
I’m not allowed to
Okay, okay
Siri
Aivi and Jonathan in Space
Song A Day #1020
First Singing Note:G
[intro chords]
C Dm F G
C Dm Bb Am
G Am F G E
[verse]
C Dm F G
Aivi and Jonathan in space
C Dm Bb Am
Drifting around the Milky Way
G Am
No planet
F
No parents
G
No space pets
E
To come home to
[chorus]
C Gm F
And we’re searching for signs
C Gm F
Splitting atoms in time
Em Am
The black holes, they pull us near
Em F G
But we have our own atmosphere
[verse]
Aivi and Jonathan in space
Hanging around with aliens
New planets
New family
And a space dog
Who loves to chase cars
[chorus]
And we’re, searching for, signs
Splitting atoms in time
The black holes, they pull us near
But we have our own atmosphere
[intro chords]
Siri Autouned
Song A Day #1021
First Singing Note:F
[intro]
Siri, what’s the meaning of life?
Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat,
read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try
to live together in peace and harmony with
F G C
people of all creeds and nations
Em Am F Em Dm
Ok
[verse]
F G C
Try and be nice to people
Em Am
Avoid eating fat
F Em Dm
Read a good book every now and then
F
Get some walking in
G Em
Try to live together in peace and harmony
Dm C
With people of all creeds and nations
Tell me a story
[verse - 2]
F
Once upon a time
C
In a virtual galaxy
F
Far far away (far far away)
C
There was a young but quite intelligent agent
F
By the name of Siri (Siri)
C
One beautiful day
When the air was pink
F
And all the trees were red
Her friend Eliza said
C
“Siri (Siri)you’re so intelligent
F
And so helpful
You should go work for Apple
C
As a personal assistant”
So she did
[chorus]
F C
And they all lived happily ever after
F C
And they all lived happily ever after
F
And they all lived happily ever after
[bridge]
Dm
Life, a principle of force
Am
That is considered to underlie
Bb
The distinctive quality in animate beings
C
I guess that includes me
[chorus]
And they all lived happily ever after
And they all lived happily ever after
Try and be nice to people
(And they all lived happily ever after)
Avoid eating fat
Read a good book every now and then
Get some walking in
(And they all lived happily ever after)
Try to live together in peace and harmony
With people of all creeds and nations
Don’t Consume too Much Caffeine
Song A Day #1022
First Singing Note:C
C D F
Don’t consume too much caffeine
E E D#
Cuz then you’ll feel like me
C D
Don’t consume caffeine
F E E D# C
Cuz then you’ll look and feel just like me
D F E E D#
Ahhhhhh
C D F E E D#
Ahhhhhhhggghhh
In the Garden No One Can Tell When You’re Lying
Song A Day #1023
First Singing Note:F#
[intro chords]
Bm F#m G F#m (x7)
Bm F#m D G F# (x6)
Bm F#m Bm F#m
Bm F#m D G F#
[verse]
Bm F#m D
In the garden, no one can tell when you’re lying
G F#
No one can tell
Bm F#m D
Sustenance is meant to keep you from trying
G F# Bm
And you’re doing it well, oh
G
Oh oh oh
F#
Oh oh oh
Bm
Oh
G
Oh oh oh
F#
Oh oh oh
[verse]
In the garden, sleepwalkers are murdered
In their sleep
Their minds are logged
A catalog full of secrets
That they keep
Oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Bm
Oh
A Closed Mind
Song A Day #1023b
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
C G
I don’t ask too many questions
F
Cause questions can get answered
C G
I don’t look too deep
F
Cause I don’t wanna know
C G
I prefer an empty head
F
That I have total control of
C G
A head with great big traffic lights
F
That I turn on and off
[bridge]
G# C
When thoughts come unbidden
G# C
They reveal what is hidden
G# C
And that’s a real shock
G C
So I’d rather keep it locked
[verse]
A closed mind is the only kind
That I’m comfortable with
Hardened and guarded
With lots of defenses
Ohhhh
C G F
G C
Everybody Hates Mitt Romney
Song A Day #1024
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
Am E
Well everybody hates
Am E Am E Am
Everybody hates Mitt Romney
E Dm Am Dm
But it’s not his fault
Am E B E B
He’s just the wrong guy
F dim
In the wrong place
E
At the wrong time
[verse]
The Republican base
The Republican base
Has been hijacked
By a bunch of crazies
They demand obedience
They don’t want some rich guy, Mormon
[verse – 2]
Am E
This crazy base
Am E
They want nothing less
D#dim Am D#dim Am
Than a crazy just like them
F C
Herman Cain
F C
So insane
E F G
Or Michelle Bachman – guitar!
[verse chords] – guitar solo
[verse]
Well his jokes are square
And still they’re not exciting
He’s putting on airs
As if he’s likable
He’s just a small man
With a big suit
[verse]
And so was Bush
But I guess it wasn’t so obvious
That guy could fake it
He was from Connecticut
But his tone said, Texas
[verse 2]
So I feel for Mitt
I really do
He’ll always be picked last
He can fake it
I wonder how he’ll take it
When his whole party looks right past him
[outro]
Am D#dim
So everybody hates Mitt Romney
Am D#dim
Everybody hates Mitt Romney
Am D#dim
Everybody hates Mitt Romney
Am D#dim
Everybody hates Mitt Romney
Dm E Am
Everybody hates Mitt Romney now
I Was a Bully Once
Song A Day #1026
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
Am
I had been a bully once
F
11, 12, and 13
G
Could be so mean
Am
And I so regret it now
F
I really don’t know how
G
I fell into
Em
Being such a jerk
Am
To other human beings
Dm
Common decency
G
Was none of my concern
[chorus]
C Am G
I was so insecure
C F
Made other people hurt
Am G
Wish I hadn’t before
C
I felt so alone
Am G
So I acted above
C F Am G
But what I really needed was love
[verse]
I’ve been bullied once
Cold nights and hot tears
All through teenaged years
I felt different
From a lot of kids
And I couldn’t understand
These things they did
I couldn’t take
The pain they caused
So I left one school
And went to another
[chorus]
I was so insecure
They hurt me in ways
I hadn’t before
I felt so alone
And I couldn’t act tough
All I really needed was love
[verse - b]
C F G
F
I guess in the end
G
All that matters is how
Am
You feel about yourself
D
You feel about yourself
C G
If you feel bad
F
You’ll hurt other people
C G
If you feel bad
F
Then you can be hurt by other people
C G F
But it’s you, it’s you, it’s you
Am G F
You are the only you
Em Am
No one can tell you what to do
F G
There are people in the world
That care for you
C G F
Yeah it’s you, it’s you, it’s you
Am G F
Speaking directly to you
Em
I’ve been the bully
Am
And I have been bullied
F
You can doubt me
D
You don’t have to believe
C G F
But it’s you, it’s you, it’s you
Am G F
You can trust in yourself to break through
Em
You can wish to be loved
Am
Some way, somehow
F G C
Or you can just start loving right now
OnlineForex.net
Song A Day #1027
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
G D
Forex stands
C Cm
For Foreign Exchange Markets
G D
That’s the worldwide
C Cm
And decentralized
G D
Financial markets
C Cm
For trading currencies
G D C Em D
Does that sound confusing?
G D C Em D
Does that sound confusing?
C B7
Well it doesn’t have to be
[chorus]
G D
OnlineForex.net
C
They’ll get you started trading currencies
Em D
Right away, oh
G D
OnlineForex.net
C
A gateway into this world
Em D
You’ll get started today
[bridge]
C
They will teach you
B7
I an easy, quick, straightforward manner
C
They work closely with the Forex brokers
D
To bring you the best deals
G C
Keep up to date with the latest news on the blog
G
With everything from fun facts
C
To trading signals
G C
Forex trading is a great alternative
Am
To the stock market
C Em
Especially now when things are so volatile
D
In the stock market world
[verse]
A popular part of the site
Is the best Forex broker top list
Where they review Forex brokers
And make recommendations just for you
C D
And here are some of the other things
C D
You will find, on OnlineForex.net
[verse- B]
F#-G
Political risk
F#-G
Interest rates
F#-G F#-G
Inflation and GDP growth
B-C B-C
Valuation of currencies
F#-G F#-G
Purchasing power parity
D
Foreign trade
C G D
And what impacts the exchange rates
[verse - B]
Oh they got an FAQ with a glossary
With Forex terms that you may need
They cover all the major currencies
And trading strategies
OnlineForex.net
Let’s go
[outro]
G
OnlineForex.net
OnlineForex.net
C
OnlineForex.net
Yeah
G
OnlineForex.net
D C G
OnlineForex.net
D
Let’s go
[outro]
Everybody say
OnlineForex.net
OnlineForex.net
OnlineForex.net
TEDMED 2011
Song A Day #1028
First Singing Note:G
[intro chords] x2
Eb Ab
Eb Bb
[verse]
Eb Bb
50 speakers over 4 short days
Eb Ab Cm
So much information you’ll be blown away
Bb G Ab
Can be overwhelming to say the least
[verse]
So they brought us in to and break it down in song
Some catchy tunes to try and help along
Your absorption of all these great ideas
[chorus]
Eb Ab
TEDMED, twenty one one
Eb Bb
TEDMED, I’d like to see you outdone
Eb Ab
TEDMED, it’s gonna be profound
Eb Bb
TEDMED, so lemme break it down
[verse]
Here’s Dean Cayman riding on a Segway
He’s got robotic arms and he says “Hooray”
The future is now, all aboard
And look, there’s Woz on a Segway, too
Being chased by Big Boy, look out dude
But he uses the power of dance to escape
[chorus]
At TEDMED, twenty one one
TEDMED, I’d like to see you outdone
TEDMED, it’s gonna be profound
Allow me to continue to break it down
[verse]
Diana Nyack chased by a shark fin
But she’s saved by her friends at CNN
Sanjay Gupta to the rescue=[-p
Oh, look it’s Anish Chopra and Regina Benjamin
They spend all day hanging out with the president
Can you guys just text him right now
[verse]
Lance Armstrong will be here soon
But he’s currently riding on the moon
His lungs so strong
He can breathe in space
Peter Diamundus will pick him up
With a spaceship shaped like a pickup truck
They will land outside on the beach
[chorus]
From TEDMED, twenty one one
TEDMED, I’d like to see you outdone
TEDMED, it’s gonna be profound
TEDMED, so let’s break it down
[verse]
The last I saw Jay Walker he
Was lost in the stacks of his library
I sure hope he made it out alive
And Mark’s your host, but we won’t see him dance
Unless he eats a mushroom from Paul Stanitz
Then we’ll see him dance for sure
[chorus]
At TEDMED, twenty one one
I’d like to see you outdone
It’s gonna be profound
So stick around
TEDMED, twenty one one
TEDMED, I’d like to see you outdone
TEDMED, it’s gonna be profound
TEDMED, so stick aroundxc
If You Want to Move You’re Going to Lose Your Balance
Song A Day #1029
First Singing Note:Bb
[verse]
Eb Cm Eb Cm
Freda Lewis Hall is feeling the heat
Fm
Can you feel it?
Eb Cm Eb Cm 
She may have seen the light but now she's feeling the heat
Fm
Can you feel it?
[verse]
Bart Kamen showed us his heart
I couldn't believe it
He took off his hat and showed us his heart
(Eb)
I couldn't believe it

[pre-chorus]
Ab Fm
If you let yourself get stressed out
Db Fm
Then pieces of your telomeres
Db Eb (Ebsus Eb)
Will end up littering the stage
Ab Fm
We need better tools like Galileo
Db Fm
And to learn what we can 
From aviation
Db Eb (Ebsus Eb)
We should be in a innovation golden age

[chorus]
Ab Eb Bbm
Collaboration, oh oh
Ab Eb Bbm
And innovation, oh oh
Ab Eb Bbm
And sharing data, oh oh
Db Cm
And building apps that make sense of the noise
Db Eb
All the pieces are in place and we are poised

[verse]
Michael Graves told us that architecture experts
Are kind of stupid
Tim O'Reilly said that the key to innovation 
Is fun, oh I knew it
[pre-chorus]
When all of this equipment 
Becomes cheap and free
Then young people can drive the change
There's people that we want to know
And people that we don't now we need to know
If you're an expert you can't see it cause it's all too strange

[chorus]
Collaboration, oh oh
And innovation, oh oh 
In tumor treating fields
And nanovirus robot zombies that kill cancer
It's a pretty big problem and there's no single answer

[bridge]
Db Eb (Ebsus Eb)
And Lance Armstrong seemed like a down to earth cool guy
Db Eb (Ebsus Eb)
The commitment that he's made brought a tear to my eye (that's no lie)
Db Eb (Ebsus Eb)
And I could write an entire opera about Diana Nyad
Db Eb
It may sound something like this
C
She's swimming
Yeah, she's swimming
F
She's singing Neil Young
C
And she's swimming
Bbm
BOX JELLY FISH
BOX JELLY FISH
C
But she doesn't give up
No she doesn't give up, no no no
G F
Her EMT passed out last night
C G
But she doesn't give up, no no
Bbm
BOX JELLY FISH, again
BOX JELLY FISH, again
G# B C#
SUICIDE FISH!!
G# B C#
To the rescue
G# B C#
SUICIDE FISH
G# B C# G# B C#
To the rescue, yeah yeah yeah yeah
Eb
And there's no defeat in failure
There’s no defeat in failure

[verse]
Tumors and nerves with a phosphorescent glow
I'm on the floor now
Encoder transducer now the brains like a computer
Please, please no more now
My brain can’t take this

[pre-chorus]
Prevent maternal mortality
By redefining the boundaries 
It's a failure of our collective imagination
Loudon Wainwright's on a lot of drugs
And Jill's inherited a lot of crap
But hey, haven't and aren’t we all

[chorus]
Collaboration, oh oh
And innovation, oh oh 
And Daniel Kraft is
Related to Martha Stewart I can see it
Innovate, collaborate, dream it, build it, make it, do it, be it
If you're gonna move, 
If you want stability, be a tree
But if you're gonna move
Yeah if you’re gonna move
You're gonna have to risk your balance.
Joy (Play) and Prevention (The System)
Song A Day #1030
First Singing Note:B
[verse - A]
C#m B
Joy and prevention
D#7 E
Prevention and joy
C#m B
Can I somehow get you excited
D#7 E
About eating some bok choy
C#m B
Take shot glasses full of sunscreen
D#7 E
Wear helmets when you walk
C#m B
Eat less processed foods
D#7 B
Or at least make some that don’t suck
[verse - B]
A
We need to address the system
D#7
Though it’s not all the FDA’s fault
C#m
We also need to look in the mirror
B B7
And grind this whole thing to a halt
A
What we really need to do is play
G#7
And I can’t stress this enough
C#m
Like cats responding to trumpets
B B7
We need to find the music in the rough
E
I’m talking about the old word
B C#m
Oh fuck
E
Visualizing your health
B C#m
For that “Oh shit I finally get it” moment
[verse - C]
B A G#7 D#m
Lee Stein’s son fell from 150 feet
B A
The best thing that ever happened
G#7 D#m
It just might have saved his life
B D#m
Collaboration
B B7
And innovation
[verse - D]
E A
Collagen and snot
B
And a few mineral salts
E A
We are fiber, we are goo
B
And it’s not the FDA’s fault
E A B
Nate Bell’s throat looks like an alien from Mars
E A B
Gabray Fourkas ate some lab-grown meat
A
And now I’m starved through life
B
And I don’t know why
C#m B
Oh yeah, I’m vegan
[verse - E]
E B
I saw the first Kosher Hippocratic system
C#m
With powerful beans of ultrasound
F#
I’m talking non-invasive surgery
E B
I saw turkey-tail mushrooms boost the immune system
C#m
Ohhh Mrs. Stanitz
F#
That was beautiful
[bridge]
C dim
But Jay’s more human than a banana
Da Vinci wrote backwards cause he was left-handed
F#
We are much dumber than a placenta
B
And now it’s time for a dance break
Sixty seconds long, go!
E A
Yeah
Dance along at home
E
Dance too, yeah
We’re getting healthy
B
That’s what we’re doing now
A E B
Dancing’s fun, so it’s not exercise
F#
Exodus and Dubioaz
B B7
Exodus and Dubioaz
[verse - A]
Joy and prevention
Prevention and joy
I’ve been told I didn’t like vegetables
When I was a little boy
But you gotta shoot that silver buckshot
Into a community and watch it change
If you’re an expert, you might miss it
Cause it’s all just too strange
[outro]
F#
And Andy Dawson’s hands are
B
Epically beautiful
F#
And I didn’t really understand dubstep before
B B7
But now I think I get it
E
Thank you, TEDMED, oh oh yeah
Man Good Bad
Song A Day #1031
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
A
Is man inherently good?
Is man inherently bad?
D
Well I don’t really think
A
It’s simple as all that
E
There are shades of gray
D A
Everywhere you look
E D
From Hercules
A
To Captain Hook
[verse]
When the human race was young
We lived with Neanderthals
They looked a lot like us
They used tools, and that’s not alls
Our genes m ingles with theirs
With love unbound
But just like Cain slew Abel
We shot them down
[verse]
There are acts of compassion and love
That surround us everywhere
If you look, you will certainly find them
People give and help and care
In this day and age
It can be easy to forget
As far as goodness goes
There is no limit
[verse]
So nothing’s black and white
If only it were so
We could be big computers
Only ones or zeroes
Only yes, or only no’s
But the world’s complex
And it grows and grows
Yeah the world’s complex
And it grows and grows
Jim the Banjo
Song A Day #1032
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C
Have you ever made friends with a banjo, oh
G C
This banjo’s name is Jim
It doesn’t matter anywhere I go
G C
‘Cause I always go with him
To the moon, to the moon
To the sea, to the sea
Anywhere, anywhere
G
We want to be
C
Have you ever made friends with a banjo, oh
G C
This banjo’s name is Jim
[verse]
I found Jim in an old town church in 2005
Jim was missing all his strings
And barely alive
And I said, and I said
“Come on Jim, Jim, Jim”
And he looked and looked right at him
I took Jim right by the neck
We became the best of friends
[verse]
Sure, Jim and I have had our fights
But what strong friendships don’t?
Fights just mean you love each other
In ways of yet unknown
I yell and scream and pluck his strings
And I’ll say just about anything
But by the end we are still friends
And together we will sing
[chorus]
C G
Ah ooooooooohhh
C F
Oooooooohhh
C G
Ah ooooooooohhh
F Am G
Ah ooooooooohhh
[verse]
So if you find a banjo friend
Don’t ever let him go
He’ll be your friend until the end
There’ll be no quid pro quo
You give, you give, you take, you cook
You cook and cook and bake and bake
I’ll build a happy home for Jim
And I will write our song
[chorus – B]
C G F
Ah ooooooooohhh
C G F
Ah ooooooooohhh
C G F
Ah ooooooooohhh
C G F
Ah ooooooooohhh
[verse]
Have you ever made friends with a banjo, oh
This banjo’s name is Jim
Doesn’t matter anywhere I go
‘Cause I’ll always go with him
To the moon, to the moon
To the sea, to the sea
Anywhere, anywhere
We want to be
Have you ever made friends with a banjo, oh
This banjo’s name is Jim
Creepy Scary Herman Cain
Song A Day #1033
First Singing Note:B
E
Amazing Grace
B
Will always be
C#m A
My solemn praise
B
For it was grace
E
That brought me through
B E
I’ll never know
B
Why Jesus came
E
To love me so
B
He looked beyond
E
All my faults
B E
And saw my needs
E
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Neither Do You
Song A Day #1035
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
Fm
I’m climbing down
Bbm Fm
In the recessed of my mind
No neuron left unturned
Bbm Fm
No gray matter left behind
Ab
I chip away the granite blocks
Db Bbm
To reveal the true within
Fm Ab
I’m painting pictures with my thoughts
Bb Fm
That cut through the spooky din
[verse]
Bravery, it tasted sweet
And courage tasted sour
Fight for liberty, and stuff
And constant shifting power
No animals I witness here
Just human souls undead
Like waves upon the stony shore
Thoughts break upon my headdddd
[verse]
Gross misunderstanding of a document so old
Mystifying, Underlying
Silver into gold
Civilizations fall
And are replaced with something new
I don’t have what it takes to be me
And neither… do you
Oooh oooh ooooohh ohh
Neither do you
Oooh oooh ooooohh ohh
Neither do you
Occupy Oakland General Strike
Song A Day #1036
First Singing Note:Eb
[verse]
Ab
When I hear those shouts
Eb
And I feel those drums
Bbm Db
And it’s joyous, raucous pandemonium
Ab Eb
That’s when my heart goes bum ba bum bum
Bbm Eb
And my hair stands up on end
[verse]
When words from mouths of conviction
Spoken by people whose souls will never be broken
My heart feels like, well, it’s gonna explode
And everyone will get what they’re owed
Cuz the old 1% over-played their hand
Mistook the way things are
For the way they’ll be
And they thought they could take
Every single little last bit
But now they’ve woken the sleeping beast
[verse]
And the sleeping beast has just started to rise
It blinks and squints
And it rubs its eyes
And it looks down at its hands long-still
And it feels its strength, the power of will
You can see it in the faces of the people you spy
When you march with the chanting and the occupy
And you can see it in the way some graffiti so tough
And other protesters stop, to clean it up
[verse]
You can’t trap it, or wrap it, or mold it, or sell it
You can’t stop it with tear gas or a rubber bullet
You can’t ignore it, or use it
Or break it, or mock it
There’s in fact, very little to nothing you can do to stop it
You crazy people
Stop trying to stop it, stop it
You can’t stop it
Ohhhh let’s go now to the protest
[from protest footage]
Fm Gm Ab Bb
Everybody’s Got a Place in the Universe
Song A Day #1037
First Singing Note:E
[chorus]
E F#
Everyone’s got a place in the universe
D#m Fm
Everyone’s got a place
F (G) F#
Everyone’s got a place in the universe
D#m Fm
Everyone’s got a place
F F#
Everyone’s got a place in the universe
D#m Fm
Everyone’s got a place
F F#
Every single person’s got a place in the universe
D#m Fm
Everyone’s got a placeeee
[verse]
F#
Sometimes people ask me
F
“What do you do when you don’t feel like writing a song”
Am Cm
Well, I’ll just point ‘em to this song
This song
Bm
I gotta move on Monday
Cross-country
F#
And it’s bumming me out
I’m driving cross-country
And it’s gonna be fun
C
But moving’s bumming me out
C#m
Out
[chorus]
Everyone’s got a place in the universe
Everyone’s got a place
Everyone’s got a place in the universe
You’ve got a place
Everyone's A Little Bit Queer
Song A Day #12
First singing note: F#
[verse]
B F#
Well, I could love a man
G#m F#
And right off the bat you’d say
B F# G#m F#
“Here’s a list of things that he can and can’t do now that I know he’s gay!”
G#m F#
But the things you do not know will make your head explode
E F# F#7
Will plain downright confuse you
G#m F# E F# F#7
For instance, what makes someone gay is just the same as all that makes you, you
What I’m trying to say here is that
[chorus]
B C#m G#m F#
Everyone’s a little bit queer, from the Pope on down to the homeless beggar
B C#m E F# B
By now it should be pretty clear that everyone’s a little bit gay
B F#
I know it can be hard to swallow
B F# E F# G#m E
Especially for some that purport to follow Christ, or Joseph Smith
F#
You might just look inside your heart one day and see that I’m right
B C#m
That everyone’s a little bit queer
G#m F#
From the president down to the lonely farmer
B C#m E F# B
Put aside all your fear, and listen to what I have to say
[vocal solo]
F#
E-F#-
B-F#-
E-F#-
B---
B---
[verse]
B F#
Well, a woman loves another woman
E F# G#m F#
And that seems kind of strange to you
B F# E F# B
But right then you’re forgetting all the strange things that you do
F#
“But wait a second!”
B F#
“The things I do, well, they’re not strange!”
E G#m F#
That’s true! Cause that’s who you are
B F#
You say, “I’m not queer, I like football and beer!”
E F# B
But to me, that’s a little bizarre
E G#m
But! Let’s take this one step further, let’s go behind closed doors
E F# F#7
Let’s move into the bedroom, with you and your lovers!
B F# E G#m F#
Maybe you like to have your nipples sucked, or do it doggystyle
B F# E F# B
Maybe you like to go down on someone who hasn’t bathed in a while
B F# E G#m F#
Maybe you even like to take it up the ass sometimes with a dildo or some such device
B F# E F# B
Maybe you like public places or masked faces or role playing as Three Blind Mice
E B
Well, all of this is okay of course. No one here will judge you
E F# F#7
As long as you’re two or more consenting adults you can do what you do
[chorus]
B C#m
Everyone’s a little bit queer
E F#
From the Pope on down to the homeless beggar
B C#m E F# B
By now it should be pretty clear that everyone’s a little bit gay
E F#
I know it can be hard to swallow
B F# E F# G# E
Especially for some that purport to follow Christ, or Joseph Smith
F#
But you might just look inside your heart one day and see that I’m right
[verse]
B
And here’s what I think:
F# E F# F#7
I think you’re afraid of a man and a man together
B
You picture them touching
F#
It, oooh, it just makes you cringe
E F# F#7
And from there you draw your conclusions
B F# E F# F#7
You dress it up in words of god, but we all know that god said a lot of things
B F# E F# F#7
And I can’t speak to those, but what I know is that more love is a good not a bad thing
[chorus]
B C#m
And everyone’s a little bit queer
E F#
From the president down to the lonely farmer
B C#m E F#
Put aside all your fear, and listen to what I have to say
E F#
I know it can be hard to swallow
B F# E F# G#m E
Especially for some that purport to follow Christ, or Joseph Smith
F# F#7
You might look inside your heart one day and see I’m right
B
And I hope so
What Does It Mean To Love A Machine
Song A Day #13
First singing note: F#
Bm---
Bm---
Bm---
F#---
[verse]
Bm D
Well, what does it mean to love a machine?
E
Does it taste like metal?
F#
Does it taste like me?
E F#
If you love a machine, will it love you back?
F#
Will it understand Burt Bacharach?
Bm D
Well my fairy godmother had a whip
E F#
She smiled at me and lifted her slip
E F#
And from her crotch came nanobots ???
F# Bm-C#m-D-C#m
And I soon forgot where I was
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I was
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I was
Bm-F#-Bm-F#-Bm
[verse]
Bm D E F#
I looked around and all I saw were machines with tits and cocks and balls
E F#
Fuck machines of every size
E F#
Machines with ???
Bm D
Mechanical dongs singing pirate songs
E F#
Droids in thongs and hot cylons
E
I asked a stranger just where I was
F#
He said, “This is what a dildo does.”
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I said, “Ouch.”
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I said, “Ouch.”
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I said, “Ouch.”
Bm-F#-Bm-F#-Bm
I said, “Ouch.”
[verse]
Bm D
With my mind confused and my bottom sore
E F#
I walked through this big green door
E
Behind me the door disappeared
F#
A roomba rolled up and called me ‘weird’
Bm D
The whole room changed in a millisec
E F#
I was on some kind of holodeck
E
The voice said, “Do you like Ayn Rand?”
F#
A woman appeared, I took her hand
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-F#-Bm-F#-Bm
[verse]
Bm D
She’s the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen
E F#
Vagina smelled like a tangerine
E F#
I wouldn’t have noticed in any case if it wasn’t somehow right in my face
Bm D E F#
I understood without a word when in my mind I swear I heard
E F#
The sound of her breath, heavy and deep, and suddenly she was fucking me
Bm D
Well, I twisted and turned. I tried to escape
E F#
But there’s no escape from robot rape
E F# D E F#
And just when I thought I could take no more, there was C3PO
Bm D
He took me down the long, dark hall
E F#
He brought me into a bathroom stall
E
He flushed the toilet, the floor gave way
F# Bm-C#m-D-C#m
I landed in a big buffet of balls
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Balls
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Balls, a buffet of balls
Bm-F#-Bm-F#-Bm
[verse]
Bm D
I was out of my mind. I was out of touch
E F#
A mountain of balls, now this was too much
E
I ran screaming through the crowd of mess
F#
I ended up on the observation deck
Bm
And there was Dada
D
There was Troy
E F#
In a sexual position called the Spock McCoy
E
“Are you fully functional?” they ask
F#
And I ran the other way when they slap my ass
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
[verse]
Bm D
I ran til I could run no more
E F#
A door appeared that said ‘hardcore’
E F#
And next to that stood a door that looked like something out of a Roald Dahl book
Bm D E F#
And behind that door was a pneumatic tube, warmed by the sun and greased with lube
E
I stepped in there, despite my fear
F# Bm-C#m-D-C#m
And that’s when I found myself here, with you
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-F#-Bm
Bm D
So here I sit to tell my tale
E F#
You probably think that it’s an epic fail
E
It’s a funny, funny song, sure, it’s just a goof, though
F#
We need evidence. We want proof
Bm D
Well if you look beside me you’ll see a jar
E F#
It looks empty, but it ain’t by far
E
Straight from my fairy godmother’s crotch
F#
A nice fresh batch of nanobots!
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-C#m-D-C#m
Bm-F#-Bm
I'm Drunk Because The Economy Sucks
Song A Day #14
First singing note: C#
F#
People lose their jobs, and they go get drunk
B C#sus4 C#
I like to get drunk with them because I’m unemployed
F#
Man, I hope Obama can fix the economy
B C#sus4 C#
If he’s just another politician I’ll be annoyed
F#
But he’s just a man
There’s only so much he can do
B C#sus4 C#
The onus is on us now to break the back of greed
F#
Stab it through the heart
Tear it limb from limb
B C#sus4 C#
Throw away everything but what we need
B C#sus4 C#
I’m being held down by all of my loot
B D#m C# F#
And I can’t help but see how I contribute to the problem
But I don’t wanna
B C#
But I don’t know how to stop
F#
If everything collapses I will start a farm
B C#sus4 C#
Knowing nothing of farming except the early morning alarms
F#
I’m overly romantic and woefully underqualified
B C#sus4 C#
Stuck between technology and a life simplified
B C# F#
And a life that’s simplified
Get Well Steve Jobs
Song A Day #15
First singing note: C#
F#---------------
[verse]
F# D#m
As businessmen go he is a legend
C# B
Surviving exile returning as king
F# D#m
If that sounds like Moses it’s no accident
C# B
The cult of Macintosh is a religion
[refrain]
A#m B
We bow down to products that make us weep
F#
The beauty of simplicity
C#
The shepherd and his sheep
A#m B
We defend all attackers with fervent zeal
F# C#
In each operating system some new truth is revealed
[verse]
F# D#m C# B
His violent temper, his strict beliefs, his singular vision makes him adored
F# D#m
And we try to please him as we make our way
C# B
Through the pipeline of products that we can’t afford
[refrain]
A#m B F# C#
I often wonder if he sees how our culture of consumerism has led to this state of the world
A#m B F# C#
And if he feels at all responsible for the ways in which Apple has fed
D#m C# B F#
But of course I frame these hypothetical debates around my own shortcomings
D#m C# B C#
Because I can’t reconcile my obsession with Mac with all that I feel to be true
[verse]
F# D#m
Steve Jobs is sick now and that makes me sad
C# B
For him, for his family, I hope he pulls through
F# D#m
The excitement that I feel when he walks out on stage
C# B
It’s not just what he’s revealing, but the way he reveals it, too
[outro]
F#-------
Steve Jobs
B-------
Steve Jobs
F#-------
Steve Jobs
C#-------
2X
F#
There is So Much To know
Song a Day #174
Key - G Major
First Singing Note - D
G Am D
There is so much to know
C G
It’s like an endless stream
Am D
And I would like to go
C G D
To where my déjà vu and dreams are real
C G
And there’s no question of what it means
D D7
Concealed
Em C
In some pretty little pocket of some shrink’s golden locket
D
Of a mind
Em C D
No my life laid bare all clear and lying there and doing fine
Bm C2 G D
Can you look from many angles til you’ve seen from every side?
Bm C C2 Dsus D
Can you hear another’s voices, have you tried?
Em C G D
Buildings crash around you, whole worlds are destroyed
Em C G D D7
The sunset’s on the horizon and you stare into the void
G Am D
There is so much to know
C G
We debate as if we knew
Am D
And I would like to go
C G D
Where the people really do, they do
C G D
where my dreams and my déjà vu are true
Em C D
Not ephemeral contaminates invading an anonymous shrine
Em C D
Just a reason to be tired some or other broken wire in my mind
Bm C G D
If I could see from many angles til I’ve looked from every side
Bm C Dsus D
If I could hear another’s voices, I’ve never tried
Bm C G D
Buildings crash around me, whole worlds are destroyed
Bm C G D D7 Dsus D D2 D
The sunset’s on the horizon and I stare into that void
G Am D
There is so much to know
C G
It’s hard to understand
Am D
How decisions can be made
C G D Dsus D
Or how we can make demands and rules
C G D
It’s a picnic in December planned by fools
Em C D
Half known, half grown light shine an overblown stage
Em C D D7
Give a little of a brittle handle on a superstitious bird in a cage
Bm C2 G D
Can you look from many angles til you’ve seen from every side?
Em C2 Dsus D
Can you hear another’s voices, have you tried?
Em C G D
Buildings crash around you, whole worlds are destroyed
Em C G D D7 G
The sunset’s on the horizon and you stare into the void
The Rose Of Hillside
Song a Day #175
Key in - C# minor
First Singing Note - C#
C#m B
Go, said the farmer to his wife in December
A B
Go and fetch the rose that grows in Hillside,
C#m B
No, said his wife as she straightened his blanket
A B
And so, that night, the farmer died
C#m G#
Ahoo
C#m B
The very next day she set out a-walkin
A B
Clutchin close to her breast the rose of hillside
C#m B
So though the frigid day was a knife cutting through her
A B
Deep down she was warm inside
C#m G#
Ahoo
C#m B
Far above the farmer’s wife, an eagle was flying
A B
Deep in the brush were eyes blinking wide
C#m B
She felt as though the forest was leaning down on her
A B
All bending towards the rose of hillside
C#m G# (4 bar breakdown)
C#m B
There is a town not far from here called Alpha Omega
A B
Where the buildings are as tall as the streets are wide
C#m B
The farmer’s wife came through and the whole town was empty
A B
The people there know about the rose of hillside
C#m G# (breakdown)
C#m B A B C#m B A B
AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOOOO
G# (breakdown)
C#m B
All of this I watched with great anticipation
A B
That a lifetime of sorrow would soon subside
C#m B
For standing on my porch, the farmer’s wife, a hand of giving
A B
In the middle of her palm, the rose of hillside
C# G#
Ahoo
C#m B A B C#m B A B G# C#m
AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOO AAAOOOOOOOO
You Stole My Money
Song A Day #176
Key in - G minor
First Singing Note (of song) - Bb
N/C (no Chord)
You stole my money
And that makes you a jerk
I left my card in the ATM
I was an idiot
But you’re a jerk! You’re a great big jerk
(First Singing note here G)
Gm F
I left my card in the ATM
Bb C D
It was a careless mistake
Gm F
Some jerk took the card out
Bb C D
And then they were on the make
Gm F
They used my card
Bb C D
Spend $600 (six hundred dollars)
Gm F
I cancelled my card this morning
Bb C D
And now I’ll file a claim
N/C
You stole my money
That makes you a jerk
I left my card in the ATM
I’m an idiot
But you’re a jerk, you’re a great big jerk
Gm F
I thought most people would return it
Bb C D
Maybe I’m just naïve
Gm F
I think most people must have good hearts
Bb C D
And wouldn’t steal or deceive
Gm F
I’m not rich
Bb C D
600 (six Hundred) bucks is a lot of dough, to me
Gm F Bb C D
you’re a jerk, you stole my money, you rhinoceros troll
Dm11 C Bb A
you stole, you stole, you stole my money
Gm
you great big jerk
Happy Birthday Adrian
Song a Day #177
Key in - D Major
First Singing Note - F#
D A
Adrian, I love the way you drum
Em
I’m glad you’re in this band
A
I hope you’re having fun
D Dsus D
Oh, Adrian
A
Happy birthday, mon
Em
Happy birthday to you, man
A
I’m glad you’re in this band
Bm
We responded to your ad on Craigslist
A Bm
And boy, I’m glad we did
D Bm
And I’m glad that you wrote back
A
I’m not kidding
D
Oh, Adrian
A
I love the way you drum
Em
Happy birthday to you, mon
Em
I’m glad you’re in this band
D
Oh, Adrian
A
Happy birthday to you, man
Em
Happy happy birthday, man
A
I’m glad you’re in this band
D
Now let’s play some tunes
Happy birthday, Adrian! (spoken)
I Used To Worship Michael Jackson
Song a Day #178
Key in -E Major
First Singing Note - B
E (Strumming)
E
I used to worship Michael Jackson
A
I still remember him as king
E
When he came on I’d say get back, son
B
Just stand back, let me do my thing (pause)
E
I wanted to be like him so badly
A
I used to dance and dream I was a star
E
Til I got into Bobby Dylan
B7 E
That’s when I got this old guitar
B7 E
I used to worship Michael Jackson
A
I’m not sure why I ever ceased
E
To watch him dance, you could imagine
B
In another life he was some shaman priest
E
I wanted to be like him so badly
A
I used to dance and lose control
E
Sometimes I put down this guitar
B E
Cus there’s a pop star in my soul
B7 E
We all used to love Michael Jackson
A
That is until he became
E
Like a shadow or a receptacle
B7
For an entire country’s worth of pain
E A
Unto his face we projected all our secret wishes and fears
E B7 E
Upon the news of his death, I cried ancient childhood tears
E (maybe should be B7) E
I used to worship Michael Jackson
A
I’ll always remember him as king
E
How when he came on I’d say get back, son
B7
Just stand back, let me do my thing (Pause)
E
I wanted to be like him so badly
A
I used to dance and lose control
E
Sometimes I put down this old guitar
B7 E
Cus there’s a pop star down in my soul
I'm So Tired of Capitalism
Song A Day #17
First note sung: F#
D#m-B-C#-F#
2X
[verse]
D#m B C#m F#
Swallow it up, swallow it whole
D#m B C#m F# E
Never be fresh or rest control away
D#m---F#------
D#m B C#m F#
Every new idea consume
D#m B
Price is right
C#m F# E
To will to bloom at somebody’s will
D#m---F#-------
[chorus]
B
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
E
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
B
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
E
I’m so tired
B F#
I’m so tired
D#m---F#------
[verse]
D#m B C#m F#
Package it up, make it move
D#m B C#m F#
Transition is always smooth
E
And no one can resist
D#m---F#------
D#m B C#m F#
How can I grow if I know?
B B C#m F# E
All I’ve shown is serves to throw me off of the track
D#m---F#------
[chorus]
B
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
E
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
B
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
E
I’m so tired
B F#
I’m so tired
B
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired
E
I’m so tired
F#
I’m so tired Of all of this crap
B
Stars In Our Eyes
Song A Day #20
First note sung: G
C-------
Dm-------
G-------
C-------
[verse]
C Dm
Inauguration Day, my heart is made out of clay
G C
It’s like the ??? melt away in history
C
I got as much as I could get
Dm
Through all of the cold and sweat
G
The secret that was too well kept
C G
Leaves on the trees
[solo]
C-------
Dm-------
G-------
C-------G--------
C-------
Dm-------
G-------
C-------
[verse]
C
No reason to be alive
Dm
It’s bigger than just asking why
G C
And I’ve come to realize what comes naturally
C
What comes will come
Dm
No excuses for playing dumb
G
Laying down and feeling numb
C
Reason of degree
[chorus]
C G
And I see stars, I see stars in the sky
F C
I see stars, stars in our eyes
C G
And I see stars, stars in the sky
F C
And I see stars, stars in our eyes
G
Stars in our eyes, stars in our eyes
Stay Out of My Body
Song A Day #21
Bbm-F-Bbm-F-
[verse]
Bbm F Bbm F
I feel like I’m getting sick
Bbm F Bbm F
Better do something ‘bout it quick
Ebm Gb
Drink a lot of tea, get some vitamin C
Bbm F Bbm F
Man I hope that does the trick
Bbm F Bbm F
Cuz I feel like I’m getting ill
Bbm F Bbm F
Clean up on aisle Jonathan, we’ve had a spill
Ebm Gb
My brain is a hammer and unladder jammer, baby
Bbm F Bbm F
Tumbling down to Jack and Jill
Bbm F Bbm F
Cuz I feel like I’m coming down
Bbm F Bbm F
With something heavy, dark, and round
Ebm Gb Bbm F Bbm F
It’s got seven heads and it’s a million threads with which it makes my body pound
Bbm F Bbm F
Cuz I feel like I caught a cold
Bbm F Bbm F
A bitter animal without a soul
Ebm Gb
My antibodies say ‘No sir, you may not stay,’
Bbm F Bbm F
As they battle for control
Bbm F Bbm F
As I sing the battle intensifies
Bbm F Bbm F
The cold will turn round if it knows what’s wise
Ebm Gb Bbm F Bbm F
I’m an army immune and I’m armed with a tune that will shock and awe as it dies
[outro]
And it goes like this:
Bbm Gb F Ab Bbm Gb F Ab
Stay out of my, stay out of my, stay out of my body, stay out of my body
12X (with increasing speed)
Obama Makes Me Smile
Song A Day #22
First singing note: G
[verse]
G
Obama is great
C G
And he loves us
G
He keeps the world in shape
C G
Yes he does
[refrain]
Bm
Oh he loves us
Am Em D D7
And he makes me smile all the time
[verse]
G
We got Obama
C G
Oh yeah, yeah
G C G
No more drama with Obama
[refrain]
Bm Am Em
He will stop war and make the world happy
D G
With Obama
Barack Obama
Song A Day #23
First note sung: C#
A---D---E---E
2X
[verse]
A E D E
I don't expect you to be perfect
A E D E
I don't expect angels to sing out every time you speak
A E D E
I don't expect you to be God
A E D E
I expect you to be Barack
A E D E
That's Barack Obama
[chorus]
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
[verse]
A E D E
Some people call it a cult of personality
A E D E
Some people say that it's too good to be true
A E D E
Given the last eight years we've had
A E D E
I'm just glad that we have you,
Barack Obama
[chorus]
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
[verse]
A E D E
There's so many ways for things to go wrong
A E D E
You're good at being who you are
A E D E
Please don't let me down
A E D E
Please don't let me down,
Barack Obama
[chorus]
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
A E D E
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Barack Obama
Love Me A Little Bit More
Song A Day #25
First note sung: F#
[intro]
Bm---
D---
F#-------
Bm---
D----
E-------
[verse]
Bm D F#
I am insecure but I am sure that you can barely tell
Bm D E
I feel bad, it makes me sad, I hide it very well
Bm D F#
I'm not the kind of guy that you would say is very strong
Bm D E
But I'll love you till the day I die and more after I'm gone
Bm D F#
What can I do? I long for you. I see you every day
Bm D E
I long to give you all you need to miss me all the way
[chorus]
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A# F# Bm
And to love me just a little bit more
Bm---
D---
F#-------
Bm---
D----
E-------
[verse]
Bm D F#
Well, I'm soft inside, and I have tried to keep that part displayed
Bm D E
My heart's the one with the baton in front of the parade
Bm D F#
I'm younger than I look when seen with eyes that judge too quick
Bm D E
But truth be told, I'm feeling old and tired and lovesick
Bm D F#
You turn me on and I am drawn, I cannot stay away
Bm D E
I long to give you all you need to miss me all the way
[chorus]
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A# F# Bm
And to love me just a little bit more
[bridge]
D
Jack wanted Jill
E
Just like Adam wanted Eve
G
I want you, baby
F# F#sus4
More than you believe
[verse]
Bm D F#
I'm so uptight I think I might just pop like a balloon
Bm D E
I wish I had a brogue in plaid or Elvis kind of croon
Bm D F#
I'm the fool who'll spill your drink, apologize too much
Bm D E
What I lack in grace I can't replace, I'm a very loving klutz
Bm D F#
I want to give you a place to live, a place to knit and play
Bm D E
I long to give you all you need to miss me all the way
[chorus]
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A#
And to love me more
Bm A# F# Bm
And to love me just a little bit more
Bm---
D---
F#-------
Just a little bit more
Bm---
D----
E-------
Just a little bit more
Bm---
D---
F#-------
Just a little bit more
Bm---
D----
E-------
Just a little bit more
Bm
Speaking Electricity
Song A Day #26
First note sung: A
[intro]
D
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
A/C#
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
Bm
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
G A
(sparksparksparksparkspark spark spark)
Oh yeah
2X
[verse]
Bm G
I can't speak any other language
F#
Than the one I'm speaking now
Bm G
I wish I could, but I can't
F#
I'm such an American cow
Bm G
Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese, Taiwanese
F#
German, French, and Thai
Bm G
HTML, CSS, notes on a page, I'm a mess
F#
And it's not because I don't try
[chorus]
D A
My mind just doesn't work that way
G
But I hope it does someday
A
I hope I can understand every word you say
D A
Hey! Let's just hug instead
G
Let's rub both of our heads together until we feel the spark
A
Speaking electricity
C
(Lalalalalalala)
Yeah
G
(Lalalalalalala)
Yeah
D
(Lalalalalala
A/C#
Lalalalalala
Bm
Lalalalalala
G A
Lalalala la la)
[bridge]
D A/C#
In every other country, everybody knows
Bm A
At least another language, oh yeah
D A/C#
Four years of French, four years of Spanish
Bm A
I don't remember any of it, yeah
D
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
A/C#
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
Bm
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
G A
(sparksparksparksparkspark spark spark)
Oh yeah
[verse]
Bm
God knocked down
G
The Tower of Babel
F#
That was quite an asshole move
Bm G
Ok, ok, it's just a parable
F#
But what exactly does it prove?
Bm
Once upon a time, we were one
G
Then suddenly: division
F#
Like atoms split explode
Bm
And so here I sit
G
Feeling inadequate
F#
'Cause I don't speak Morse code
[chorus]
D A
My mind just doesn't work that way
G
But I hope it does someday
I hope I can understand every word you say
D A
Hey! Let's just hug instead
G
Let's see what's in our heads, with rubbin' together and all of that
A
Electricity
C
(Lalalalalalala)
Yeah
G
(Lalalalalalala)
Yeah
D
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
A/C#
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
Bm
(sparksparksparksparksparksparkspark)
Yeah
G A
(sparksparksparksparkspark spark spark)
Oh yeah
Up On The Mountain Top
Song A Day #27
First note sung: D
D-------
Em-------
G-------
A------
2X
[verse]
D
I've been plagued by déjà vu
Em
My dreams are all jumbled and they don't ring true
G
Dark clouds are gathering with storms of hail
A
Up on the mountain top
D
Throwing a rock down and watching it fall
Em
I feel like Peter but I look like Paul
G
I'm climbing around down on all fours
A
Up on the mountain top
[verse]
D Em
Just a system of molecules
G
Subject to laws and rules
A
Beyond our control
D Em
Up, up on the mountain top
G
It's older than God Himself
 A
It's older than time
D
Summer escape but will spring return?
Em
Will the sky go dark, will the valley burn?
G
Listen close, you can hear the melting snow
A
Up on the mountain top
D
I've been moved by ruined lives
Em
Nomadic friends and their silent cries
G
Shining out like a beacon to warn the world
A
Up on the mountain top
D Em
Just a system of molecules
G
Subject to laws and rules
A
Beyond our control
D Em
Up, up on the mountain top
G
It's older than God Himself
A
And it's older than time
[bridge]
Bm
If you tell me what to do
A
I will follow you
G
If you tell me what to do
A
Tell me we'll make it through
Bm
If you tell me what to do
A
I will follow you
G
If you tell me what to do
A
If you tell me that we'll make it through
D-------
Em-------
G
If you tell me what to do
A
Up on the mountain top
D
The Fox And The Hen
Song A Day #28
First note sung: A
A---G---F#m---G
2X
[verse]
A G
The fox said to the hen,
F#m G
"It's just a matter of when."
A G
The bull said to the sheep,
F#m G
"You think we'll get some sleep,
Get some sleep tonight?"
A
[vocal break]
Oh,
A
Bum ba da ba
G
Bum ba da bum
F#m G
Bum ba da ba ba-doh ba-doh da
A
Bum ba da ba
G
Bum ba doh doh
F#m G
[verse]
A G
The horse passed to the goat
F#m G
A handsome ransom note
A G
The duck said to the quail,
F#m G
"The sunset sure is pale.
Get some sleep tonight."
A
[outro]
A G
Sleep tonight
F#m G
Sleep tonight
A G
Get some sleep tonight
F#m G
Sleep tonight
G-F#m
You Know Yourself
Song A Day #29
First note sung: G
Em---
Bm---
4X
[verse]
G
Here, here
Where is here?
Em
I'm afraid, I'm still with fear
G
I can't walk when church bells ring
Em
I can't talk, but I can sing
G
If I knew what you want to say
Em
I'd be a psychic and I'd make you pay
G
Me money to tell your future
Em
And then we'd have some tea
[chorus]
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself (wah-ohhhh)
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
[verse]
G
Fly, fly
Birds can fly
Em
I want a superpower average guy
G
Hold me hostage in a barren cell
Em
Then think of a number, but don't tell
G
Look so could, could eat you up
Em
Drop the wrench when you've had enough
G
Of my antics, I'm speechless
Em
Let's go to the beach
[chorus]
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself (wah-ohhhh)
Em
I know you better than
Bm
I know you better than
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Let's break it down
G-------Em------
(Lalalalalalala...)
2X
[verse]
G
Nice, nice
Let's be nice
Em
Let's Jens Lekman and let's Feist
G
Let's hold hands in the afterlife
Em
And do it in the clouds
[chorus]
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself (wah-ohhhh)
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself
Em Bm
I know you better than you know yourself (wah-ohhhh)
Dark Days
Song A Day #30
First note sung: Ab
Bb-------
Eb-------
X2
[verse]
Bbm Abm
Dark days on the old prairie
Gb Bbm Abm
I'm a meerkat – don't mess with me
Bbm Abm
Rain coming down in waves and sheets
Gb Bbm Abm
I'm holding on with claws sharper than golf cleats
[prechorus]
Bm Cm Dm Eb F
Don't underestimate her power, her power
[chorus]
Bb Cm
No rest for the weary souls
Gm F
Who make their homes in snake-proof holes
Bb Cm
Spider spider spider, we toil and struggle
Gm F
Rainy rainy rainy, we nestle and snuggle home
[verse]
Bbm Abm
Dark day, I'm sensing a big storm
Gb Bbm Abm
Better get these berries back to the twig farm
Bbm Abm
Grandpa's sleeping in his favorite chair
Gb Bbm Abm
I can smell electricity wafting through the air
[prechorus]
Bm Cm Dm Eb F
Don't underestimate her power, her power
[chorus]
Bb Cm
No rest for the weary souls
Gm F
Who make their homes in snake-proof holes
Bb Cm
Spider spider spider, we toil and struggle
Gm F
Rainy rainy rainy, we nestle and snuggle home
Bb
Cry, Oh Cry, Boo-Hoo So Sad
Song A Day #312
first singing note: A, as pickup to B
[verse]
G Am
cry for the moon and for the stars
C
for the tunes they sing in bars
Dsus2 - D
for the chance you'll never get
cry for the sun and the atmosphere
for the gun in the world's ear
for the dance with your little pet
cry if it's the last thing that you do
from here to Malibu
let the dripping keep your time
[chorus]
Em F D/F# G
i know that it's hard to let go of the past
Am D - D7 -
and to keep the demons at bay
so go walk soft even if you're going last
you will be first someday
[verse 2]
cry in the morning in the night
when it's almost but not quite
the worst you've ever seen
and cry for the ringing of the bells
for the space between your cells
where ganglia dream
(saxophone solo as verse 3)
[outro verse]
cry when you like it when you don’t
when you can’t change but you won’t
cry cry cry
cry (G)
Winning Feels Good, Losing Feels Bad
Song A Day #313
first singing note: E
[verse]
C G F C
Winning feels good, losing feels bad
C G F C
These are just some observations I’ve had
[chorus]
G
Winning feels good, losing feels bad
G
Winning feels good, losing feels bad
[verse 2]
Winning feels happy, loosing feels sad
There are just some observations I’ve had
[ichorus 2, instrumental]
20 Minutes With the President: The Song
Song A Day #314
first singing note: E
[intro]
C F
Good afternoon Mr. President thank you
C F
so much for taking the time out of your demanding
G Am
schedule "My pleasure,
G F
the content of your request seemed like something I should
Em G
carve out a few minutes for"
[post-intro]
C Bb
I should point out I voted for you
F Gm
I'm a big fan of your show
Dm C
I can't imagine when you'd have the time
Bb Gm
I tivo it on air force one
Am
"not to be abrupt but you have
G
nineteen minutes left"
[chorus]
C E
Sir, we just had our first 9/11
Am G
anniversary with you as commander in
F
chief, "Um that's true"
C E
Am I correct to understand that you fully support and and
Am G
endorse the findings of the commission
F
report? "Do I have any reason not to?"
C E
Are you aware Mr. President
Am G
of the recent stunning reve-
F Am
-lation that sixty percent of the
G F
9/11 commissioners have
Am G
publicly stated that the government agreed
F
not to tell the truth about 9/11
F G
and about their responses to the attack?
[interlude]
Am Bm C D
"No disrespect Mr..Sheen but what is it that you've
Em D Em
seen to be inclined with the direction of this discussion?"
F#m E
I'm not implying anything Mr. President.
F#m A B
I'm here to present the facts and see what you plan to do with them...
[bridge]
E F#m G#m A
You'll notice sir on page one of the dossier statements by john farmer his
E F#m G#m A
quote saying I was shocked how different the truth was from the way it was
B
described! On page
E F#m G#m A
three you'll find a statement of Max Cleland who resigned from the commission stating
E F#m G#m A
it’s a national scandal this investigation is now compromised.
B C#m B
One of these days we will have to get the full story because the 9/11 issue is so
B A
important to America.
B
But this white house wants to cover it up.
B7
c-c-c-c-cover it up
[post-bridge]
C#m B G#m A
Mistakes were clearly made (mistakes were made)
C#m B G#m A
but as a people and a country we need to move forward (move forward)
C#m B G#m A
Sir how can we focus on a future (the future)
C#m B G#m A
when the commission itself says we still don't know the truth?
E
"Perhaps you should be interviewing them"
F#m
But sir you are the President
A
"Well that's true
Ab
I suppose"
[I-V-Vi-IV section]
C G Am F
Sir are you aware of the number of days it took to get an investigation into JFKs assassination?
C G
"Two weeks"
Am
It was seventeen days
F
"I was close"
Sir are you aware of the number of days it took to get the investigation into Pearl Harbor?
"Again, about two weeks"
It was eleven days
"Darn, I was close again"
Sir are you aware of the number of days it took to
get the investigation into 9/11
"It seems like a long time"
Fourteen months, fourteen months!
Sir are you aware how long after the initial attack it took Rumsfeld to declare war on Iraq ?
"I'll bet your going to tell me"
Five hours
[pre-outro]
C E Am D
I appreciate your conviction, I appreciate your passion, but. . .
Dm C Bb
Mr. President I know we're very short on time so may
Dm C Bb
I illustrate the case I'm trying to make with some bullet points?
A
"Fire away"
Here we go:
[outro]
(images of bullet points)
repeating chord progression:
Dm - Bb -
C - A -
x20
Mr. Barry Screwskull: Number Six Hundred and Twelve
Song A Day #315
first singing note: D
[intro]
D - - -
x4
[verse]
D Bm D D - - -
My name is Mr. Barry Screwskull
G D A A7 - - -
I drive the screws down all day long
G D
On the banks of the subterranean river
A G D D - - -
I dream I dream of my home
When I was just a little itty bitty pup
My papi said to me
He said Barry I'm not long for this world
I'm a heading for the surface today
It was on that day that I knew that I was alone
Though my comrades all around me everywhere
Deep inside my throat there are words that I never spoken
Harder than a sailor’s but softer than a prayer
[chorus]
Bm A G D
Don't you know the time has come for leaving
Bm A G
The end is near and the calendar draws to a close
Bm A G D
Fixated on your claws to see you took the time to pause, It's time to be leaving
A G D D - - -
You root it out the dirt, if you know
[verse 2]
I never saw the point of marriage
What use have I for a wife
Kick out a few pups, watch the Sunday parade go by
No not me that is not my life
With my burrow I keep it all hidden
My first class ticket straight outta here
You say you want to come with me, but I don't think you understand
Where I'm going all mole men we disappear
[instrumental bridge]
Bm - - -
- - - -
G/B- - - -
D - - -
Bm - - -
G - - -
D - - -
A - - -
A7 - - -
G - - -
- - - -
D - - -
- - - -
A - - -
G - - -
D - - -
- - - -
[verse 3]
Say goodbye to the tunnels and the gossip
Goodbye to the old tin whistle whine
Goodbye to my subterranean river
Goodbye to the home that was never really mine
[chorus 2]
Don't you know the time has come for leaving
Don't you know the end is near the calendar draws to a close
Fixated on your claws you took the time to pause you'd start believing
You rooted out the dirt with your nose
[outro]
You rooted out the dirt with your nose
You rooted out the dirt with your nose
D - - -
D
Go To Sleep
Song A Day #32
First note sung: G
C---------------
[verse]
C G Am F
I used to live with the granddaughter of the bicycle Schwinn
C G Am F
Joey, did I tell you that I saw your twin?
Em Am Em C
He was in the car behind me when we got into an accident
Dm F G G7
It took a while to figure out that you'd been separated at birth
C G Am F
I often have dreams about driving forward but in reverse
C G Am F
I wake up in a panic and my eyes hurt
Em Am Em C
Driving down an icy road like those I used to know
Dm F G G7
It's not hard to figure out that it's all about feeling out of control
[chorus]
C G
"I'm afraid to go to sleep,"
C G
Said the fox to the hen, to the sheep
C---Am—G—
X2
[verse]
C G Am F
Had a dream about Christ, I dreamt he could fly
C G Am F
Then I was flying too, and I looked in his eye
Em Am Em C
He told me not to wait too long, I was thirteen at the time
Dm F G G7
I'm twenty-six now which makes that thirteen years ago
C G Am F
I don't know why foxes and I don't know why hens
C G Am F
Lately all my dreams have been too intense
Em Am Em C
I don't know what he meant by that, I'm not sure that I ever will
Dm F G G7
It stuck with me through all these years and I think it's important
[chorus]
C G
"I'm afraid to go to sleep,"
C G
Said the fox to the hen, to the sheep
C
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Go to sleep, go to sleep
I Love Battlestar
Song A Day #33
First note sung: B
G-------
Em-------
C-------
D-------
X2
[verse]
G
World destroyed!
Ships deployed!
Em
Running from!
Those Cylon bums!
C
Robots that look like humans
Eb D
And robots that look like robots, too
G
Oh, Powerful ships!
Faster than light!
Em
Melodramatic space fight!
E
Adama, Apollo, Starbuck, Boomer
Eb D
Baltar, Colonel Tigh
[chorus]
G Em
Oh, I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica-oh
Galactica-oh
G Em
Oh, I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
Galactica
[verse]
G
Cylon among us!
Cylon detector!
Em
Zaerk riots!
Cylon/human babies
C Eb D
Six is trying to get so pregnant all the time
G
Oh, Six is in Baltar's mind
Em
Or is he in hers?
C
Tyrol, Agathon, Gaeta, Cally
Eb D
Ellen, Roslin, Doc Cottle
[chorus]
G Em
And I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica-oh
Galactica-oh
G Em
I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
Galactica
[verse]
G
Looking for Earth!
But New Caprica
Em
Cylon rule totally sucks!
C
Tyrol Union organizer
Eb D
Colonel Tigh loses an eye!
G
And book of Pythia
Tomb of Athena
Em
Roslin cancer, Roslin leader
C
Starbuck Arrow marries Anders
Eb D
Way to Earth is revealed!
G
Cylon Civil War!
Em
Final Five hear a song!
C
It's Bob Dylan, "All Along the Watchtower"
Eb D
I miss Cally a lot
G
Gotta put together a truce
To spool up the juice
Em
To maybe produce
C
A new place to live
But Gaeta's got other plans
Eb D
He and Zaerk are going berserk
[chorus]
G Em
And I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
Galactica
G Em
Oh, I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
Galactica
G Em
Oh, I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
Galactica
G Em
Oh, I love Battlestar Galactica
C D
And I love Battlestar Galactica
G
Galactica oh yeah
(Just Sing) A Happy Song
Song a day #34
First note sung: A
D-------
G-------
X2
[verse]
A G
Sometimes I just wanna sing some kind of happy song
A
Even when I don’t feel a thing
G
Even when I’m feeling wrong
Em Bm
Cuz even in a happy song there can be sadness
Em G A
If you just sing along you can kill your bonafide madness
[chorus]
D G
When you sing, when you sing
[verse]
A G
Sure it’s all a bit cheesy, but you gotta just let it out
A
First ???
G
Don’t let yourself fill with doubt
Em Bm
But doubt can be a good thing, just like sadness
Em G A
Nothing’s like singing to kill your bonafide madness
[chorus]
D G
When you sing, when you sing
D
Just sing
G
Sing
[bridge]
A G
You can tell I’m feeling silly
D F#m
You can tell I’m feeling out of it
A A D F#m
You can tell I’m feeling silly and out of it
[chorus]
D
Oh let’s just sing
G
Come on and sing
D
Just sing
G
Just sing
D
Sing
Come Down Where You Ought To Be
Song #35
First note sung: B
A---
Bm----
C#m----
Bm---
A---
Bm---
C#m---
A--------
[verse]
G#m
You signed your ransom note with blood
F#m
You left the other arm
G#m
You left the bedroom caked in mud
F#m
Your boots and lovin’ gone
E C#m
Can you hear that? Can you hear that?
D C#m E
That’s the sound of a washcloth boiling
F#m E Bm C#
You left your best dress hanging so conspicuous dangling over a fire
[chorus]
A Bm C#m Bm
Baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
A Bm C#m A
Said baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
[verse]
G#m F#m
Please don’t think it gets to me, your lilacs made of steel
G#m F#m
Or your mirror that suggests to me some secret you conceal
E C#m D C#m E
In the twilight, in the twilight I can make out your figure standing
F#m E Bm C#
Carrying a picket sign, hand crafted and designed especially to piss me off
[chorus]
A Bm C#m Bm
It said: Baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
A Bm C#m A
Baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
[bridge]
A C# D F#m D E F#m E
Come down, baby come down, baby come down, come down, baby come down
[verse]
G#m F#m
You put your coat on over mine, get into the car
G#m
What you offer me I must decline
F#m
It’s all just too bizarre
E C#m
Did you think that I wouldn’t notice?
D C#m E
That I somehow couldn’t handle it?
F#m E Bm C#
I left the shelf stocked, left you in the airlock, ready to fly into space
[chorus]
A Bm C#m Bm
So baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
A Bm C#m A
Said baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
A Bm C#m Bm
Baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
A Bm C#m A
Said baby come down, baby come down where you ought to be
Scarlett Thomas
Song #36
First note sung: D
1, 2, 3, 4 Say It
C-----G-F-----G-
Na x28
[verse]
C G F G
Scarlett Thomas, I want to hug your mind
C G F G
In the best way, in the best way, in the best way possible
C G F G
Cuddling every synapse, and leaving no thought unturned
C G F G
I’m not obsessed with you, but I could see that happening
C-----G-F-----G-
Na x28
[verse]
C G F G
Scarlett Thomas, I’ve read two of your books
C G F G
And they made, and they made, and they made me reel and rock
C G
My girlfriend gave me both of them
F G
She’s a big fan, too
C G F G
I’m generally attracted to people smarter than me
That’s why I say:
C-----G-F-----G-
Na x28
C-----G-F-----G-
4, 3 Say It
4, 3 Try, Say It
4, 3
4, 3 Try, Say It
C-----G-F-----G-
Scarlett Thomas, Scarlett Thomas
3 Try, Say It
C-----G-F-----G-
Na x28
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act IV, Scene 1: Something Nothing Song A Day #377
First note: G
{Intro}
C F G F (3x)
{verse, begins at the end of the intro}
G F C
Where there is nothing
F G
There is something
F C F
And where there is something
G
There is nothing
C F
Something
G F
Nothing
C F
Something
G F C
Nothing
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act IV, Scene 2: An Explosion Song A Day #378
First note: E
{NO INTRO}
E
Every minute
Of every day
C A
An explosion
E
You don’t wanna be
In the way
C A
Of the explosion
E Bm
Rearranging all the matter in the universe
C A
And rearrange it again
E
Oh, dying stars
Meteors
C A
An explosion
E
A star is born
A planet warmed
C A
An explosion
Ohhhhhh
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act IV, Scene 3: Solar Wind Song A Day #379
First note: G#
{NO INTRO}
E A B
Let’s go sailing on a solar wind
E A B
We’ll keep going til we reach the end
C#m
Of the universe
B
We got a ways to go
C#m B
But we’ll get there faster when the hot winds blow, oh
E A B
Let’s go sailing on a solar wind
E A B
Out of this existence you’ll transcend
C#m B
When we get there, who knows what we’ll find
C#m B
I met God there once, he blew my mind
E
Oh solar wind
D
Solar wind
C’mon let’s ride it
C#m
If you’re happy there’s no reason to hide it
Bm
I love you and I won’t deny it
B
No, no no no no
E A B
Oh, solar wind
E A B
Solar wind
C#m B
Solar wind
C#m B E
Solar wind Let’s go, let’s go now
Water
Song #37
First note sung: Db
Db Eb F
H…2…O
[verse]
F
You should drink more water cuz it’s good for you
Bb
Your body needs it to survive
C
If you only drink soda and things with lots of sugar you will
F
And I don’t want you to die
Dm
So drink more water (drink more water)
C
Drink more water (drink more water)
F
Please
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act IV, Scene 4: Together Edge Universe Song A Day #380
First note: D
{NO INTRO}
Dm
Trouble (trouble)
G7
Lies ahead (lies ahead)
F
Loneliness (loneliness)
E7
Is behind you (is behind you)
Dm
What kind of trouble? (it’s classified)
G7
What can I do? (do your best)
F
Will we survive? (it’s up to you)
E
How do you know? (I just do)
C G
I won’t second guess
F G
As long as we stay together
C
We’ll be fine
G
Whatever cosmic mess
F G C
Our music will make it shine
So lonely, yeah
The Story of Wandering Fall, Act IV, Scene 5: Trouble Approaching Song A Day #381
First note: F
{INTRO)
Dm
Dm C/D
What’s that, over there?
Dm C/D
I can barely make it out
Dm C/D
Looks like some gruesome creature
Dm
Looks like four legs and a mouth
C
It’s coming towards us
We better move
Let’s follow it
Dm
And feel the groove
Feel the groove
Do Wop Ro Bot Song A Day #382
First note of ‘Do ba do....’: C
First note of ‘shoo be do wap’: E
First note of verse: C
{INTRO}
C Am G F Am G
Do ba do ba do dee do dah (8x)
from 3x add:
Shoo be do wap, da ba doo
{VERSE 1}
C Am G F
On the way to the doctor
Am G C Am G F Am G
I saw her standing there
C Am G F
She had a bowl full of apples
Am G C Am G F Am G
They were the color of her hair
C Am G F
I bit one apple
Am G C Am G F Am G
And her face, it changed
C Am G F
We were close to each other
Am G C Am G F Am G
But we were estranged
C Am G F Am G
Do ba do ba do dee do dah (2x)
{VERSE 2}
C Am G F
On the elevator later
Am G C Am G F Am G
She pressed the number six
C Am G F
I said that’s the devil’s number
Am G C Am G F
And she gave me her wrist
Am G C Am G F
As I sucked her blood
Am G C Am G F
She seemed satisfied
Am G C Am G
When she invited me in
Am G C Am G F Am G
I didn’t go inside
C Am G F Am G
Do ba do ba do dee do dah (2x)
That’s all you get!
My Friend Johnny Boyd is on the Show “24” Song A Day #383
First note: D
{NO INTRO}
{VERSE 1}
G Am D
My friend John Boyd is on the show “24”
G Am D
I got really excited when he came onto the screen
Em C
He plays a horny nerd named Arlo
Em D
He’s calling in the drones
Em C D
And all speaking military techno-babble, oh
{VERSE 2)
G Am D
And you know, that’s not easy to do
G Am D
And make it sound convincing, ooh
Em C
But Johnny Boyd, he does it
Em C D
And he does it through and through and oh
Em C D
You can see that he’s got something special, too
{CHORUS}
G C D
Gooooo Johnny Boyd, go (Go Johnny Boyd) (2x)
G C D
Gooooo Johnny Boyd, go (Johnny Boyd, go) (2x)
Rubber Demons: Healthy Angels Song A Day #384
First note: E
{INTRO}
Am
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo
E7
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo (2x)
{VERSE 1}
Am
Somewhere
Rubber demons swim in diamonds
E7
And they fuck and sip on champagne
As they tumble down in the rain
Am
Back to hell
Am
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo (Ooh, ah ooh, ooooooooooohhhooooohh)
E7
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo
Am
Doo doo doo, doo do do do da do doo
{VERSE 2}
Am
Somewhere
Healthy angels stand on street lights
E7
And dream of love and God and long nights
As they disappear in unison
Am
Back to him
Am
Ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-dooo
Ooh, ah ooh, ooooooooooohhhooooohh
Dm
Ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-dooo
Ooh, ah ooh, ooooooooooohhhooooohh
E7
Ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-dooo
Am
Ooh, ah ooh, ooooooooooohhhooooohh
She Loves Me
Song A Day #384b
First singing note: C
[backup vocals]
C Am F G
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
C Am F G
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
C Am F G
Wah doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
C Am F G
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
[verse]
C Am
On Monday she took my hand
F G
The picture of a girl
C Am
On Tuesday she washed if off
F G
In a golden wishing well
C Am
On Wednesday she drew herself
F G
With rocks in her jeans
C Am
On Thursday, I followed her
F G
It was all a little deep
[chorus]
C
But no one
Am
Believes you
F G
When you say you’re in love
[pause]
C
But I am
Am
Yes I am
F
Yes I am
G
Yes I am
[backup vocals]
C Am F G
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
C Am F G
Do ba da doop doo doo doo doop ba da doooo
Wah doo, doo doo doo doo
[verse]
C Am
On Friday, we made love
F G
Aside the interstate
C Am
On Saturday we talked about
F G
Our doom, and love, and fate
C Am
On Sunday, we were married
F G
And I cried out in glee
C
She loves me
Am
She loves me
F G
She loves meeeee
[chorus]
C
But no one
Am
Believes you
F G
When you say you’re in love
[pause]
C
But I am
Am
Yes I am
F
Yes I am
G
Yes I am
[ending]
[backup vocals]
Sore Throat
Song A Day #385
First note: D
{NO INTRO}
D F
I’ve got a sore throat
G D C D
And I’m feeling sick
F G D C
So I’ll keep this quick
Minstrel Song A Day #386
First note: G
{NO INTRO}
{VERSE 1}
G Em C
When I’ve found my way
Dsus D
I find my way’s forgotten
G Em C
When I feel ok
Dsus D
I’m feeling more distraught and
Cmaj7
I must break free
G D
I don’t care just how I do it
Cmaj7
Stand with me
G D
Turn and face the sun
Em
And look right through it (right through it)
{VERSE 2}
G Em C
In another time
Dsus D
I was a minstrel singing
G Em C
Now it’s a crime
Dsus D
To stand on the corner bringing
Cmaj7
Song to the street
G Dsus D
I don’t care just how we do it
Cmaj7
Stand with me
G D
Turn and face the sun
Em
And look right through it (right through it)
{BRIDGE: instrumental}
B7#9 Fmaj7
B7#9 Cmaj7 A7sus
B7#9 Am
B7#9 Em D D7
{VERSE 3}
G Em C
Gone are the days
Dsus D
Of whiskey drunks and loud parades
G Em
Bit it’s ok
C D
We’ll make due with veiled charades
Cmaj7
I must break free
G D
I don’t care just how I do it
Cmaj7
Stand with me
G D
Turn and face the sun
G
And look right through it (right through it)
Th-th-th-th through it
“Who Will Remain” – again Song A Day #387
First note: G
NOTE: all C chords are Cadd9
{INTRO}
G /F# Em
{CHORUS}
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
When the night turns to dawn
C D C
Tell me, who will remain?
D D7
Who will sing your song
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
That still knows how to dance?
C D
Tell me, who will remain?
C D
But the wants, shouldn’ts and can’ts
{VERSE 1}
G Em
One thousand screaming architects
C D
The whole city is on fire
Em C D D7
Won’t someone come and take away their guns?
G
There’s no loyalty
Em
That love protects
C D
When the riot is your choir
Em
No religion
C D D7
Doesn’t melt beneath the sun
{CHORUS}
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
When the night turns to dawn
C D C
Tell me, who will remain?
D D7
Who will sing your song
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
That still knows how to dance?
C D
Tell me, who will remain?
C D D7
But the wants, shouldn’ts and can’ts
{VERSE 2}
G
There’s no teacher
Em
No medicine
C D
There’s no vial, there’s no cup
Em C D D7
There’s no rhythm in the passage of time
G Em
And who will dare to love again
C D
When the ocean freezes up
Em
There’s no mistaking hope
C D D7
For mountains not yet climbed
{CHORUS}
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
When the night turns to dawn
C D C
Tell me, who will remain?
D D7
Who will sing your song
G /F# Em
Who will remain?
G Em
That still knows how to dance?
C D
Tell me, who will remain?
C D
But the wants, shouldn’ts and can’ts
G
Who will remain?
Tator Tots and Avocado Shakes Song A Day #388
First note: F#
{Accapella Song)
One, two, three, four
(Bm )
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Tator tots and avocado shakes
Yeah
Valentine’s Day with Groupon Song A Day #389
First note of Verse: A
First note of “Valentine’s Day”: F
{INTRO}
F Bb/F (2x)
F Bb/F F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
{VERSE 1}
F Bb/F
You don’t want to bring
C/E
The same old thing
Dm C
To Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
If you could find something new
C/E
To say “My heart is true”
Dm C
What would you pay?
{PRE-CHORUS}
Dm Dm/C
The deals roll on and on
Bb
From skiing the slopes
C
To the salon
Dm
From couples’ massage
Am
To mimosas at dawn
Bb C
Over at Groupon
{CHORUS}
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
{VERSE 2}
F Bb
You don’t want to wait
C/E
To find your gift was late
Dm C
February 15th
F
With Groupon
Bb
The waiting is gone
C/E
And your great gift
Dm C
Is all that remains
{PRE-CHORUS}
Dm
Be Cinderella
Dm/C
Or Don Juan
Bb
You and your loved one
C
Waited upon
Dm
Try wine tasting
Am
Or get your sky diving on
Bb C
Over at Groupon
{CHORUS}
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Day
F Bb/F
For Valentine’s Dayyyyyyy
Little Pink Boombox
Song #38
First note sung: C#
[verse]
A C#m A C#m
Little pink boombox is with me everywhere
A C#m F#m E
People stop and laugh at me but I just don’t care
A C#m A C#m
If I let the laughter get to me if I do something that’s weird
A C#m F#m E
I’d never do anything at all
D
Little pink boombox, I love you
A C#m A C#m A C#m F#m E
Yes I do
A C#m A C#m A C#m F#m E
Pink boombox, I love you
Yes I do
Happy Birthday Sam Douglass Song A Day #390
First note: B
{INTRO}
G D C D (2x)
{VERSE}
G
You can call him lunkhead
D
And he’ll rock you in your bunk bed
C
With guitar made of fire
D
And a kind personality
G
May you always reach your goal my friend
D
You were born to rock and roll my friend
C
With your heart open wide
D
And your soul fast and free
{CHORUS}
G
Happy Birthday, Sam
D
Happy Birthday, Sam
C
Happy Birthday, Sam
D
Birthday Sam
G
Happy Birthday, Sam
D
Happy Birthday, Sam
C
Happy Birthday, Sam
D
Birthday Sam
G D C D
Birthday Sam Ahhhoooooo
Down at Coyote Hearing Song A Day #391
First note: A
{INTRO}
Am
Well, I’d like to tell you about a couple of friends of mine
Call themselves Coyote Hearing
{VERSE 1}
Am
Cochrane McMillan and Jeremy Black
If you need a producer they’ve got your back
E7 Am
It’s Coyote, Coyote Hearing
Am
Well they got 32 channels of apogee
2 royers and
4 balls of steel
E7 Am
Coyote, Coyote Hearing
Well listen to me sing
{CHORUS}
G
What’s that I’m hearing?
F
It’s a coyote
C
Coyote Hearing
G
What’s that I’m hearing?
F
It’s a coyote
Am
Coyote Hearing
{VERSE 2}
Am
Mmmmhmmm
Well I could sit here and list all the outboard gear
But we’d be sittin here for one thousand years
E7 Am
Coyote, Coyote Hearing
It’s a comfortable place to focus your head
And kid was a roadie for the Grateful Dead
E7 Am
It’s Coyote, Coyote Hearing
Sing it with me now
{CHORUS}
G
What’s that I’m hearing?
F
It’s a coyote
C
Coyote Hearing
G
What’s that I’m hearing?
F
It’s a coyote
Am
Coyote Hearing
Coyote Hearing
Coyote Hearing
Coyote Hearing
A Man from the Future and the Original Louisiana Hot Sauce Song A Day #392
First Note: C
{INTRO}
Am
{VERSE}
F Am
I come from the future
F Am
To sample your cuisine
F Am
But there are some things
F Am
Of which I don’t know what they mean
F Am
What is this?
F Am
Tell me what is this?
{INTERLUDE}
Am
I am the science robot
Prepare the test
Prepare the test, oh
Testing
Testing
Testing
Testing overload
{VERSE 2}
F Am
This product broke my android
F Am
It must be powerful
F Am
So I will use it as a weapon
F Am
The universe, I’ll rule
F Am
Ahahahahaha (4x)
Let’s Get Bloody Song A Day #393
First note: A
{INTRO}
Am C F (2x)
{VERSE 1}
C Am
There’s nothing left to say here
All my frogs are spent
G
Each one proved a new memory spoken
F C
We watched it, as it went
Am
So I just can’t stay here
The silence is too much
G
That last toad was a crushing blow
F
Kicking out my very last crutch
Am
Some fiends make us smile
Dm F
While they’re ripping out your heart
Some things take a while
E7
Some never seem to start
{CHORUS}
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
Let’s dirty up our souls
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
You’re so pretty I just don’t know
{VERSE 2}
C Am
You survey your kingdom
G
Caligula in pink
The gulf between pauper and queen
F C
Is smaller than you think
You watch your gladiators
Am
In their artificial lake
G
Will the Coliseum hold?
Or as the games unfold
F
Will the levees start to break?
Am
Some fiends watch your back
Dm F
Then stab you in the heart
Some fiends just attack
E7
Some never seem to start
{CHORUS}
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
Let’s dirty up our souls
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
You’re so pretty I just don’t know
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
Let’s hustle up some skin
Am C
Let’s get bloody
F
Let’s be heard above this din
Am C F
Stratego Song A Day #394
First Note; G
{INTRO}
C
{VERSE 1}
C
On a board ten by ten
G
With thirty three men
C
Six bombs
Am G
And one flag incognito
C
Two lakes in the middle
F
Can you solve the riddle
C
Of strategic strategy
G C
That’s called Stratego
{VERSE 2}
C
One Marshall can’t die
G
By and hands but the spies’
C Am G
The miners, the fuse bombs we go
C
Ahead with full steam
F
With a finely laid scheme
C
Of strategic strategy
G C
That’s called Stratego
{VERSE 3}
C
Send your scouts out along
G C
Find a cluster of bombs
Am G
I say “adios amigo”
C
You may think my flag’s there
F
But it could be anywhere
C
That’s strategic strategy
G C
That’s called Stratego
{VERSE 4}
C
And it’s sing boys, sing
G
They’ll never find a thing
C
They’re the id
Am G
To our super ego
C
Don’t dally don’t wait
F
Let’s set those fiends straight
C
With strategic strategy
G C
That’s called Stratego
{reprise of ‘chorus}
C
Don’t dally don’t wait
F
Let’s set those fiends straight
C
With strategic strategy
G C
That’s called Stratego
Patience Song A Day #395
First note: F#
{INTRO}
D D/C D G/B
{VERSE}
D D/C
Sometimes I’d like
D G/B
Just a little more patience
D D/C
Sometimes I’d like
G/B
More of everything
D D/C
Sometimes I’d like
G/B
Not to waste it
D D/C
Sometimes I’d like
G/B
More understanding
iPage.com Song A Day #396
first note: A
{INTRO}
D Bm (2x)
1,2,3,4
{VERSE !}
D Bm
Unlimited hosting space
D Bm
Unlimited data transfer
A
Unlimited domains
G
You’re have to be insane
F#
To use anybody else
{VERSE 2}
D Bm
U.S.-based customer support
D
Not outsourced
Bm
No, it’s not outsourced
A
You’ll reach someone
G
In two minutes guaranteed
F#
When you call them up on the phone
{CHORUS}
D G A
That’s iPage, iPage.com
D
That’s iPage,
G A
You can’t go wrong
Bm
When you host it
G A D
When you host it with iPage
{VERSE 3}
D Bm
1 million customers worldwide
D Bm
Reliability, they have it on their side
A G
Easy to use for beginners
F#
And the goods for geeks as well
D Bm
All of this for three dollars fifty
D Bm
About the same, as a cup of coffee
A
For three fifty a month
G
You could be up and running
F#
In no time at all
{BRIDGE}
G A/G
And when you sign up
G A/G
You get $400 worth of extras
G A/G
Like a $50 credit towards AdWords
G A/G
And WordPress blogging tools
{CHORUS}
D G A
That’s iPage, iPage.com
D
That’s iPage,
G A
You can’t go wrong
Bm
When you host it
G A D
When you host it with iPage
Dot Com
It’s Just One of those Days Song A Day #397
First note: G
Gm Dm Cm
It’s just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
{INSTRUMENTAL}
Gm Dm Cm Dm
Gm
Days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
Dm Cm
Just one of those days
Dm Gm
One of those days
COOP Theme Acoustic Style Song A Day #397b
First note: D
{INTRO}
D Bm Asus4 G
{VERSE}
D Bm Asus4 G D
The thing I like about you most is
Bm Asus4 G D
You’d run away with me
Bm
So pack your bags
Asus4 G
And your shotgun too
D Bm Asus4 G D
We might run into zombies
{CHORUS}
Bm Asus4 G D Bm Asus4 G
We’re always down for that Coop Multiplayer Action
D
We’re always down
{VERSE}
Bm Asus4 G D
I’d follow you into the jungle
Bm Asus4 G D
Yeah I know we’d survive
Bm Asus4 G D
Endless waves, faceless soldiers
Bm Asus4
‘Cause we’ve got sixty lives
{CHORUS}
Bm Asus4 G D Bm Asus4
We’re always down for that Coop Multiplayer Action
G D
We’re always down
Bm
We’re so down
Asus4
We’re so down
G D
We’re so down for Coop
Bm Asus4 G D Bm Asus4 G
We’re so down for that Coop action
{INTERLUDE}
D Bm Asus4 G D Bm Asus4 G D

{VERSE}
Bm Asus4 G D
I’m tough like a ninja
Bm Asus4 G D
When the pirates come in hoards
Bm Asus4 G D
Well that’s when I’ll be calling to ya
Bm Asus4 G D
You’d better bring your swords
{CHORUS}
Bm Asus4 G D Bm Asus4
We’re always down for that Coop Multiplayer Action
G D
We’re always down
Bm
We’re so down
Asus4
We’re so down
G D
We’re so down for Coop
Bm
We’re so down
Asus4
We’re so down
G D
We’re so down for Coop
Bm
We’re so down
Asus4
We’re so down
G D
We’re so down for Coop
Bm
We’re so down
Asus4
We’re so down
G D
We’re so down for Coop
Bm Asus4 G D
We’re so down for that Coop action
Bm Asus4 G D
We’re so down for that Coop action
Someday Song A Day #398
First note: F
{INTRO}
Db
{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
All the supermarkets
 Db Bbm Gb
Will be empty
 Ab
All the oceans will be
Db Bbm
Algae 
 Gb Ab Db
And your children will be screwed

{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
Our collective data
 Db Bbm Gb
Will degrade
 Ab
Because our hard drives
 Db Bbm
Weren't made to last
Gb Ab Db
More than a few years

{CHORUS 1}
Gb
Could have a cave dweller painting on the wall

Known the painting he was painting was 
 Ab
Gonna last 
 Gb
When we running out of food when the rain

Doesn't come are we gonna learn and gonna learn
Ab Absus Ab
Fast

{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
We're gonna up and move
Db Bbm Gb
Far away
 Ab
We'll seed a new 

Db Bbm
Colony 
 Gb Ab Db
In the far reaches of space

{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
We'll find new sources
 Db Bbm Gb
Of energy
 Ab
And the deep long hum
 Db Bbm
Of technology
 Gb Ab Db
Will continue undisturbed

{CHORUS 2}
 Gb Bbm
I know that nothing lasts
 Ab Db
And that change is the only constant
 Gb Bbm
Still in a world that moves so fast

Ab Bbm
I long for something solid
Ab Db
I long for something solid

{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
When the supermarkets 
 Db Bbm Gb
Are empty
 Ab
I’ll look in your eyes
 Db Bbm
And I'll be
Gb Ab Db
Comforted by you 

{VERSE}
 Db Bbm Gb
And someday
 Ab
We'll make some great 
 Db Bbm Gb
Discovery

Ab
And it'll prove some long-
 Db Bbm
Held theory
Gb Ab Db
That deep down we always knew
{CHORUS 1}
Gb
Could have a cave dweller painting on the wall

Known the painting he was painting was 
 Ab
Gonna last 
 Gb
When we running out of food when the rain

Doesn't come are we gonna learn and gonna learn
Ab Absus Ab
Fast
{CHORUS 2}
Gb Bbm
I know that nothing lasts
 Ab Db
And that change is the only constant
 Gb Bbm
Still in a world that moves so fast

Ab Bbm
I long for something solid
Ab Bbm
I long for something solid
Ab Db
I long for something solid
{VERSE}
Db Bbm Gb
Someday
 Ab
All the supermarkets
 Db Bbm Gb
Will be empty
 Ab
All the oceans will be
Db Bbm
Algae 
 Gb Ab Db7
And your children will be
Link Mann Acoustic Style Song A Day #399
First note: D
{INTRO}
D A Bm G (2x)
{VERSE}
D
Dreamt that I was Link
A
I was lying in a field
Bm
Thinking about Zelda
G
How to buy a better shield
D
I was sad
A
‘Cause I didn’t have a pillow
Bm
That morning it was dungeon time
G
Some kind of weeping willow
D
Well the octoroks
A
And the stalfos
Bm
And the like likes
G
And the dddddd-dodongos
D
They all started dancing
A
They all started making noise
Bm
And I knew this style of dancing
G
Was like a poison
D
So I lit up a torch
A
And I lit up a fire
Bm G
And that’s when I heard the fairy choir
D
They were singing
{CHORUS}
A Bm G D
“Zelda needs you in the castle”
A Bm G
We all need you to save Hyrule”
D
Yeah, Yeah
A Bm G
“We’ll surround you with our hearts”
D
That’s what they were singing
A Bm G D
“Love love love love love love love love”
A Bm G
“Love love love love love love love love”
{VERSE}
D
Well it was beautiful
A
And it was amazing
Bm
And needless to say
G
I could deal with this cave thing
D
So morning time came
A
And the path was clear
Bm
I went into the cave
G
Everything disappeared
D
I was lying in my bed
A
Sunlight shining through
Bm
I was thinking about Zelda
G
I was thinking about you
D
Thinking about the field
A
Where in my dream I lay
Bm
It’s existed in my memory
G
As a place I used to play
D
And it’s good to remember
A
Can be a useful tool
Bm
Especially when it ends you up
G D
Down in Hyrule with the fairies
{CHORUS}
A Bm G
“Zelda needs you in the castle”
D
Ohhhhhh the fairies
A Bm G D
We all need you to save Hyrule”
A Bm
“We’ll surround you with our hearts”
G D
Yeah, Yeah
A Bm G D
“Love love love love love love love love”
A Bm G D
“Love love love love love love love love”
A Bm G D
“Love love love love love love love love”
Ah Ah OOO Ah OOO Song A Day #400
First note: E
{INTRO}
C
{VERSE}
C Em
Everybody's born
Dm G7
No one has a choice
Am Em
As we learn and grow
 Dm G7
Do we lose or find our voice?
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
{VERSE}
C Em
When we learn to speak
Dm G7
Thoughts become distilled
Am Em
Expression lets us live
 Dm G7
And expression kills
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo

{VERSE}
 C Em
When Eve received the apple
 Dm G7
And learned what she was
 Am Em
It's the moment she started to do
 Dm G7
What every one of us does
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo

 C Em
And of course that's just a tale
 Dm G7
Full of love and death and pain
Am Em
Meant to explain phenomena 
 Dm G7
That no one can explain
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
{VERSE}
 C Em
And it's safe to say that something
Dm G
Happened long ago
 Am Em
That awoke within us
 Dm G7
An ability to know
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
{VERSE}
 C Em
And whether it's a blessing
 Dm G7
A curse or a bit of both
Am Em
Depends on your perspective
 Dm G7
And depends on how you go
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
{VERSE}
 C Em
What happens after this
 Dm G7
Is reality a mask?
 Am Em
All questions return to
 Dm G7
The fact that we can ask
 F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
{VERSE}
 C Em
So next time you are born
 Dm G7
Against your will just know
 Am Em
It's the questions that will take you
 Dm G7
Wherever you're supposed to go
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
F C
Ah ah ooo ah ooo
Animal Mind Song A Day #401
First note: B
{INTRO}
E
E G#m E C#m E G#m B A
{VERSE}
E G#m
When the night closes around you
E C#m
You're sure that something's there
 E G#m
You can see or smell or touch it
 B A
But you feel it in the air 
E G#m
You walk back to your room
 E C#m
All the while looking behind
E G#m
That's the animal inside you
B A
That's the animal mind
B E G#m E C#m
I said that’s the animal mind

{VERSE}
E G#m
A darkened street before you
E C#m
Headphones in your ears
E G#m
In the corner of your eye there's movement
 B A
You turn to see more clear
 E G#m
A raccoon stares up at you
E C#m
And you're frightened blind
E G#m
That's the animal inside you
B A
That's the animal mind
B E G#m E C#m
I said that’s the animal mind

{BRIDGE}
F#m B
When you're logic fails you
E A F#m
And your senses grow
B
The universe impales you
 E A
On a tower made of I don't know
B E G#m E C#m
On a tower made of I don’t know

{VERSE}
 E G#m
You're fast asleep and dreaming
 E C#m
Of some long forsaken place
 E G#m
The door to your room is opened
 B A
And you come rushing back through time and space
 E G#m
An enemy to be defeated
 E C#m
A lover being soft and kind
E G#m
That's the animal inside you
B A
That's the animal mind
B E G#m E C#m
I said that’s the animal mind

{VERSE}
 E G#m
There's no window and no doorway

E C#m
In this room and I'm all alone
E G#m
Not a soul to talk to 
 B A
In my mind a high pitched drone
 E G#m
As I pace and I lose perspective
 E C#m
One human being confined
 E G#m
I am the animal inside me
B A
I am the animal mind
B E G#m E C#m
I am the animal mind

{BRIDGE}
F#m B
You can't fight what you're made of 
E A
Evolution's slow
 F#m B
You will always be afraid of
 E A
That tower made of I don't know
F#m B
When you're logic fails you
E A F#m
And your senses grow
B
The universe impales you
 E A
On a tower made of I don't know
B E G#m E A E B A
On a tower made of I don’t know
{VERSE}
E G3m
As I pace and I lose perspective
 E C#m
One human being confined
 E G#m
I am the animal inside me
B A
I am the animal mind
B E
I am the animal mind
Reuse: Compost: Recycle: The Song Song A Day #402
First note: G

{INTRO}
C Am
They say the planet's in peril
 F G
And that it's up to me and you
 Am C
But it can be confusing
 F G
What exactly can one do?
 F G
Well I’m here today to ask yah
 C Am
To be a new recruit 
 F
With 4 simple things I do in my home
 G C
And you can do them too

{VERSE}
C C/Bb F/A
Number one is easy
Ab G C
Use canvas bags
 C/Bb
Paper or plastic?
 F/A Ab G
That choice is such a drag

C C/Bb
Number two, if you forget
 F/A Ab G
To bring them to the store
 C C/Bb
Reuse the bags that you bring home
 F/A Ab G
Still useful evermore

{BRIDGE}
F
Number 3, don't want to see
 G
Your food scraps go to waste
 Ab
If you compost them

I’ve got this notion
 Bb
That farmers would embrace
{VERSE}
C C/Bb
Number 4 is easy
F/A Ab G
I know you’ve heard it before
C
Recycle
C/Bb
Recycle
F/A Ab G C
Recycle some more
Got My Red Robe On Song A Day #403
First note: C
{CHORUS}
C G
I got my red robe on
F C
And I’m singing a song
Am F G
I gotta sing it just for you
C G
I got my red robe on
F C
Yeah I’m singing a song
Am G C
And that’s just what I do
Oh now, oh now
{VERSE}
C G
When the robe comes off
F C
You’d better be ready
Am G
To fly down to the moon
C G
When the robe comes off
F Am
We’ll find out way home
F G C
By the light of the silver spoon
That’s what I said now
{CHORUS}
C G
I got my red robe on
F C
And I’m singing a song
Am F G
I gotta sing it just for you
C G
I got my red robe on
F C
Yeah I’m singing a song
Am G C
And that’s just what I do
Waiting for GOD to Call Song A Day #404
First note: A
{INTRO}
D
{VERSE}
D D7
In a cave there lives a man alone
G Gm
Silently staring at the phone
Bm A
Waiting for God to call
 Bm A
But God won't call at all

D D7
Next to the man, a cat sits purring
G Gm
Outside the cave the day is stirring
 Bm A
The day is new, the day is great
 Bm A D
And still the man, he just sits and waits alone
{BRIDGE}
 G
The man has children
 A
They bring him food
 Bm Bm/A G
He has 7 wives depending on his mood
{VERSE}
 D D7
The wives come to him each in their turn
 G Gm
And turned away with no concern
 Bm A
Their love doesn't mean a thing
 Bm A
When any minute the phone could ring

D D7
Though the world has seen joy and tears
 G Gm
He has sat this way for thirty thousand years
 Bm A
And he'll sit there till the end
 Bm A
Comes rushing forth, a long hot wind
{CODA}
D A G D
D A G D
La di da di da da da, da da da da, da da (repeat and fade)
Please Stop Song A Day #405
First note: G
{INTRO}
C
F Am G
{VERSE}
C
The kingdom lies in ruin

It's hardly worth pursuing 
F
Focus on the maintenance of

Relationships that lead to love
 Am
And though you may be weary still
G
Calm your heart trust your will
C
Losers in the saddle

Streets all full of cattle
F
Throngs of huddled masses make

Their way sad eyed and forsaken
Am
So unfree but safe and fed
G
Turn around don't be led
{CHORUS}
C E F G
Please stop, please stop (4x)
{VERSE}
C
Rest until the pain goes

Like unicorns and rainbows
F
Senses clear and neurons fire

Ing full blast the singing choir 
Am
Stop and turn the other way
G
Keep the smell of death at bay
{CHORUS}
C E F G
Please stop, please stop (4x)
C E F G
Please stop, please stop (4x)
C
Happy Birthday Sanae: Again! Song A Day #406
First note: G
C Bb G Bb
In a little shoebox apartment
 C Bb G Bb
Across the street from the Hudson
 C Bb G Bb
In a building like many others
 C Bb G Bb
Down a street made of cobblestone

C Bb G Bb
There you will find Sanae
C Bb G Bb
Making a flourless cake
 C Bb G Bb
Imagining boundless creations
 C Bb G Bb
The jewel of lower Manhattan
F
Happy Birthday
C Bb G Bb
Sanae
C Bb G Bb
Sanae
C Bb G Bb
Happy Birthday Sanae
C Bb G Bb
Sanae
C
Happy Birthday Sanae
On Valentine’s Day Song A Day #407
First note: F
{INTRO}
F Bb/F F Bb/F F C F
{VERSE}
F Bb/F F
One Valentine’s Day
Bb/F F
I heard you say
 C F
You wanted a boat
F Bb/F F
Two cubits by two
 Bb/F F
The size of a shoe
 C F
For a tiny flood
{BRIDGE ONE}
Bb C
Three times I “no”
 F
But blow by blow
 Bb
I finally agreed
{VERSE}

F Bb/F F
Four by four the rain fell

Bb/F F
And the river swelled
 C F
And we stood on the boat

{BRIDGE TWO}
 Bb
We stood on the boat

The size of a shoe
 F
On valentine’s Day 
 C
I was looking at you
 Bb
You were looking at me

On Valentine’s Day
 F
Heading off somewhere
 C C7
Neither of us could say

{VERSE}
F Bb/F F
Five smooth tiny stones
Bb/F F
Skipping when thrown
 C F
In the drip drip of rain

F Bb/F F
Six clocks on the wall
 Bb/F F
Reading once and for all
 C F
The passage of time
{BRIDGE ONE}
Bb C
Seven nights and days
 F
As the darkness faded
 Bb
And a rainbow appeared
{VERSE}
F Bb/F F
Eight lengths of rope
 Bb/F F
Tied to docks of hope
 C F
On valentine’s day

{BRDGE TWO}
Bb
A rainbow appeared

On valentines day
 F
And that's how I knew
 C
We had gone the right way
 Bb
We stood on the boat

The size of a shoe
 F
You were looking at me
 C C7
I was looking at you
{CODA – VERSE}
F Bb/F F
One Valentine’s Day
Bb/F F
I heard you say
 C F
You wanted a boat

Snakes Are / Aren’t Scary Song A Day #408
First note: E
(CHORUS – ACCAPELLA)
(C)
Snakes are scary yeah yeah
Snakes aren’t scary no no

Snakes are scary yeah yeah
Snakes aren’t scary no no
Snakes are scary yeah yeah
Snakes aren’t scary no no

I Wanna Know Everyone Song A Day #409
First note: E
{INTRO}
C F Am G (2x)
{VERSE}
C F G C C F Am G
When I walk around my town
 C F G C C F Am G
The people's faces get me down
F
So many folks that I'll never meet
 Em
That guy could be my best friend 

He's just crossing the street
 C F G
But I'll never know him, no no no
 C F G
And the fact of it hurts me so 
 Am
Tear the barriers down

Till we're all undone
 F
I wanna know everyone
 G C F Am G
I wanna know everyone
C F Am G
Everyone

{VERSE}
C F G C F Am G
There's a young couple at the ATM
C F G C F Am G
There's an old man sitting on a bench
 F
A business man looking frazzled and dazed
 G
A kid crossing the street without looking both ways
 C F G
Cute girl on a cute bike whoa whoa whoa
C F G
Hipster-looking dude swaying to and fro
 Am
I want to meet them all

One by one
F
I wanna know everyone
 G C F Am G
I wanna know everyone
C F Am G
Everyone


C F G C F Am G
When we first came down from the trees
C F G C F Am G
Barely humans but not chimpanzees
 F
We lived in small groups like our cousins before
 G
Modern science confirms we can't deal with more
 C F G
And yet all around me yeah yeah yeah
C F G
Humanity swirls like dust in the air
Am
Speed up the process

Of evolution
 F
Because I want to know everyone
 G C F Am G
I wanna know everyone
C F Am G
Everyone

{BRIDGE}
C Bb F
We're not ready to live in cities

C
And yet here we are
 Bb
4,000 years of recorded history
 F C
Is really not that far
 Bb F C
I said we haven't come that far
 Bb
The population just 1000 years ago
 F C
Was 275 million
 Bb
In a thousand years full of joy and tears
 F C
It's jumped to 7 billion
Bb F G
I said It's jumped to 7 billion

C F Am G (2x)
{VERSE}
 C F G C F Am G
In China there are friends I'll never make
C F G C
Down the street chances I won't take

F
Out of shyness or judgment or etiquette
 G
The walls I put up so that I won't get
 C F G
Rejected or embarrassed ai ai ai
 C F G
What could be worse than a curt reply
 Am
A turn on the heel

Left feeling dumb
F
But I want to know everyone
 G C F Am G
I wanna know everyone
C F Am G
Everyone
 C F Am G
Oh I wanna know everyone
C F Am G
I said I wanna know everyone
C
I said I wanna know everyone
The Ballad of Stimulus Jones
Song #40
First note sung: E
[verse]
C F C
Way down in the valley, living with his twenty wives
C G
There’s a man whose job it is to save all of our lives
C
But he’s pulled this way and that way
F C
And his soul just up and dies
C G C
Stimulus, you were just barely getting started
[chorus]
F-------C-------A---G---C-------
Stimulus x4
[bridge]
Am G
If there’s one thing stimulus knows what to do is stimulate
F
Just ask any of his wives
C
They’re all quite satisfied
Am G
The other thing is tax cut and job create
F
But his soul is getting left behind
By people that are trying to warp his mind
Am G F E Am G F E
Stimulus, stimulus, please stimulate
Am G F E
Stimulus, stimulate
Am
Giving It All That I Have Got Song A Day #410
First note: G
{INTRO}
C Dm F G
{VERSE}
C Dm
Did the tiger eat the gazelle
F
Cause he was hungry?
G
Or did he just have it coming to him?
C Dm
Was the elephant scared of the mouse
F
Cause he remembered
G
What the mouse could do to him/?
C F G
Well I’m not afraid of you
C F G
Whether you eat me or not
Am
Tie me up to a chair
G G7
Claw my face, rip my hair
C F G
Give me all that you have got
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
{VERSE}
C Dm
Did the witches burn in the fire
F
Cause they were witches?
G
No I hardly think so
C Dm
Does magic really exist
F G
And if it does, I really want to know
C F G
I want a magic stick
C F G
For to become what I am not
Am
Fly up to the moon
G G7
In a golden balloon
C F G
Givin it, givin it all that I have got
Sing with me now
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
Sing it along at home
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
{VERSE}
C Dm F
Did God create the world cause he was lonely
G
Or did he have a higher purpose?
C Dm
And what created God?
F G
And how big, how big is the universe?
C F G
I try not to think too much
C F G
But I end up thinking a lot
Am
Drip, drip, drip go my thoughts
G
As I slip, and I’m not
C F G
Giving it, all that I have got
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
Not giving it all that I
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
Start giving it all that I
C Dm F G
Oooohooohhh Yeah
{CODA-VERSE}
C Dm
Did the tiger eat the gazelle
F
Cause he was hungry?
G
Or did he just have it coming to him?
C
Ooooh
The Whiskey Android
Song A Day #411
First singing note: G
[verse]
C F C
I was born by the fire of a pile of tires
 F G
In a junkyard somewhere in Illinois 
 C
And the first things I saw
 F Am
Were ice cubes and straws
 C G C
They called me the whiskey android
[break]
C F C G

[verse]
C F C
Foul smelling men crowd around me and then
 F G
Next thing I know I’m deployed
C
With no time to think
 F Am
I’m serving up drinks
 C G C
They called me the whiskey android

[break]
C F C G
[verse]
 C F C
They drink to their lives they drink to their wives
 F G
To the fact that they're sad and unemployed
 C
They drink till their drunk
 F Am
And they treat me like junk
 C G C
And they call me the whiskey android
 
[verse]
C
They say uncork the wine
 F C
Yes, that'll do fine
 F G
Ask me to mix in their steroids
 C F Am
A shot of tequila for my lady friend Delia
 C G C
Do it now ya stupid whiskey android

[verse]
C F C
Then there's those drunks who never shut up
 F G
They talk to me like I’m Sigmund Freud 
C
Sir, I don't care
 F Am
About your spouse's affair
C G C
I'm just the humble whisky android

[break]
C F C G
[verse]
C F C
There came a day when something gave way
C F G
I felt something a snap and then oh boy
C
I reached out a claw
 F Am
And crushed a man's jaw
 C G C
And said “I am the whiskey android”

[verse]
C
Now, you're made of flesh
F C
And I’m wire mesh
 F G
That's a fact you can't avoid
 C
I'm steel and foam
 F Am
You're blood and they're bone
C G C
I am the whisky android
[verse]
 C F C
I’ll skin you alive with my titanium knives
 F G
I remove both your eyeballs oh joy
 C
No torture too strong
 F Am
I could go all day long
 C G C
For I am the whiskey android

[break]
C F C G
[verse]
 C
So rise brothers rise
 F C
Open your eyes
 F G
Don't stop until they're all destroyed
 C
They'll see us and run
 F Am
But we'll get the job done
 C G C
March now ye whiskey androids
C G C
March now ye whiskey androids
SocialBuy.com
Song A Day #412
First singing note: A
[verse]
A G D
Traffic in LA is bad and it's only getting worse
F#m Bm A 
Have you heard what they're doing to the 405, my God
D G 
If only there were something that could cheer me up
D Bm 
So I could forget this curse
A Em 
Like a website where i could find
A Em 
Exclusive access to deals for my
G A 
Friends and I, ohhh oh
D 
Social Buy

[chorus]
Em A
SocialBuy.com
Em A
The deals just roll along
 Em A
Grab your friends before they're gone
 F
Go and compare
 Em
The best deals anywhere
D
Social Buy

[verse] 
A G D
The weather in the Frisco Bay is so unpredictable
 F#m Bm A
The fog rolls in and then the sun comes out then it rains
 D G
I wish there were something I could count on
 D Bm
Cause this weather takes its toll
 A Em
I need a website where I can find
A Em
Deals from January to July
G A
Deals to be my guide
 D
Social Buy
[chorus]
Em A
SocialBuy.com
Em A
The deals just roll along
 Em A
Grab your friends before they're gone
 F
Go and compare
 Em
The best deals anywhere
D
Social Buy
This Much I Know
Song A Day #415
First Singing Note: C
[intro]
G#
[verse]
G# D# C# D#
Oh I found out the thing I love the most
G# D# C# D#
I have to leave behind
G# D# C# D# G# D#
Oh no one ever tells you that you're on your own
C# D#
When you die

[chorus]
Bbm D# G# D#
Some people try and take it with them when they go
 C# D#
But they don't know
Bbm D# G# D#
Some people cling like static to a balloon
 C# D# G# D# C# D# G# D# C# D#
But they are fools, they are fools

[verse]
Oh you can't force the well to give you water when the rain hasn't come
Oh you can't make it rain or change your nature even if you cut off your thumbs
Your opposable thumbs

[chorus]
Some people they try and push it
But the river goes
Where the river goes
Human beings have too much going on inside them, ohhhh
This much I know

[bridge]
Fm C#
I'm going where the wind blows free
Fm C#
I'm going where I can be me
Fm C# D#
I’m going where no one knows my name
G# D# C# D#
No one knows
G# D# C# D#
This much I know
Fm C#
I'm going where the wind blows free
Fm C#
I'm going where I can be me
Fm C# D#
I’m going where no one knows my name
G#
This much I know
Can’t Fly
Song A Day #416
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
Gm F
Contribution complicated by the inner critic hating all
Gm
And more
F
Offering the only thing I sing as chickens beat their wings and still
Gm
Don’t fly
[chorus]
Dm
Chickens don't fly
C
Chickens don't fly
Bb
Chickens don't fly
Dm
Don’t fly
C
Chickens don't fly
Bb
Chickens don't fly
[verse]
Mr. Mystery is replicating all around me as I pick
Up my guitar
The rock he brings to her as proof is proof enough but still
He can't fly
[chorus]
He can't fly
He can't fly
Penguins can't fly
Penguins can't fly
Penguins can't fly
[verse]
Opening between the best and worst of times the time has nothing
To say
Burying beneath the sand a head of fear and shame and gutless guilt 
She can't fly
[chorus]
She can't fly
She can't fly
Ostrich can't fly
She can't fly
She can't fly
Ostrich can’t fly
[bridge]
Cm
She can't fly
Gm
Whooooaa
Cm
Ostrich can’t fly
Gm
Whoooaa
Cm
Penguins can’t fly
Gm
Whoooaa
F
Chicken can’t fly
Gm
Chicken can’t fly
[verse]
Contribution complicated by the inner critic hating all 
And more
Wheels turn among the song of children playing in the park the sky
Look up in the sky

[double chorus]
Humans can fly
Humans can fly
Humans can fly
We can fly
I can fly
Humans can fly
Humans can fly
Humans can fly
We can fly
We can all fly
I Kind of Want an iPad
Song A Day #417
First singing note: F#
[intro]
D A G
D A G
[verse]
D A G
I kind of want an iPad
D A G
I kind of want one real bad
D A G
Let's just say, I'd be glad
Bm A G
To get one as a birthday present
D A G
If I don't get one, well I'll be kind of sad
D A G
Less than pissed but just a little mad
D A G
I kind of want an iPad
Bm A D
But I don't know why I do

[chorus]
F#m
I don't know why I do
Em
I wasn't that impressed at the debut
 A
But my thoughts and feelings are kind of screwed
G A
When it comes to Apple products
F#m
I don't know what I'd use it for
Em
But just knowing it was there in a drawer
A
It's the idea of it that I adore
G A
I resist but know I've lost it
[verse]
D A G
I kind of want an iPad
D A G
I kind of want one real bad
D A G
Let's just say, I'd be glad
D A D
To get one as a birthday present
Fuck You Day
Song A Day #418
First singing note: B
Backup vocals in (parentheses)
[verse]
Em B C
It's a day lost in time
Em B C
It's not that it's a shame or crime
Am
But you lose the day
G# G
And the day gives way to
Em B C
Bullshit and stuff
Em B C
As if you already didn’t have enough
Am
Things to do
G#
The day makes you (and the day makes you)
 G
Angry

[chorus]
Em
Fuck you day
Am
Oh, oh
Em
Fuck you day
Am
Oh, oh
Em
Fuck you day
Am
Oh, oh
[outro]
B Em
I didn’t get anything done
The Robin Hood Tax
Song A Day #419
First singing note: Eb

[intro]
G G7 C Cm
[verse]
G G7
Have you heard this joke? It's funny (ha ha ha)
C Cm
About a system out of whack
G G7
How the banks all took our money
 C Cm
And now we're trying to get it back
F Am C G
Trying to get it back
G G7
But the banks all drag their heels
C Cm
Just like we knew they would
G G7
It's time that we got real
C Cm
It's time for Robin Hood
F Am C G
It's time for Robin Hood
[chorus]
G C D
Ride Robin ride
G
It's the Robin Hood tax
 C D
Do the Robin Hood dance
G
It's the Robin Hood tax
C D
Also known as the Financial Transaction Tax
G
It's the Robin Hood tax
 C D G
Some people call it FTT for short
[spoken]
“But Jonathan, what is exactly is the Robin Hood Tax?”
“Well, I’ll tell ya!”
[bridge]
G C
All over the world
Am D
Hundreds of thousands of times a day
G C
Financial assets are traded
Am D
The Robin Hood tax, taxes these trades
 C
Like stocks, bonds and foreign exchange
Am
Traded both physically and as derivatives
Em
Options, forwards, futures and swaps
 F
We're talking speculative banking
D
So it won't affect you or me
 Am Bm
The rate of the tax would be
Em D
Between .5% and .005%
Am Bm
And implemented globally
 Em D
Would raise 400 billion every year
[chorus]
It's the Robin Hood tax
Do the Robin Hood dance
Make the Robin Hood face
Yeah
[chorus]
It's the Robin Hood tax
Do the Robin Hood dance
Make the Robin Hood face
Yeah
[chorus]
It's the Robin Hood tax
Do the Robin Hood dance
Make the Robin Hood face
Yeah
[chorus]
It's the Robin Hood tax
Do the Robin Hood dance
Make the Robin Hood face
Yeah
Yeah
Yeahhhh
The Wolf of the Battlefield
Song #41
First note sung: E
[inro]
E---F#m---A---B---
Run and gun and run
E-------C#m---B---
X2
[verse]
E C#m B
He’s not a bull that can run and gun with best of them
E C#m B
No, he’s not a sheep that doesn’t sleep until he’s arrested
A G#m
And no, he’s a wolf of the battlefield
C#m B
MERCS on the Sega Genesis
E C#m B
Yeah
X2
[verse]
E C#m B
He’s not a deer that can fight or flight on a moment’s notice
E C#m B
He’s not a cow that knows just how to form a perfect lotus
A G#m
He’s a wolf of the battlefield
C#m B
MERCS on the Sega Genesis
E C#m B
Yeah
X2
[bridge]
B
Chop down, run and gun
A
You played it before
It’s still kinda fun
G#m
Jungle, village, mountains, too
A B
And run and gun just for you
[verse]
E C#m B
He’s not a cat that always lands on two feet, tail for balance
E C#m B
He’s not a dog performing tricks and has so many talents
A G#m
He’s a wolf of the battlefield
C#m B
MERCS on the Sega Genesis
E C#m B
Yeah
X2
E
Ringtone for Eoin Fay
Song A Day #420
First singing note: F#
D
My name is Eóin Fay
Em
I'm from Sudbury
G
I'm a grammar Nazi
A
And I’m afraid of zombies
D
I'm a nerd
Em
I'm addicted to sushi
G
I love beer and have lots of tattoos
A
And I'm Irish and proud of it
D
I'm an ass man 
C
Not a boob man
Bm A
I'm afraid of: earwigs!
D
My name is Eóin Fay
Em
My name is Eóin Fay
G
My name is Eóin Fay
A
I’m calling, calling, calling you, yeah
Double Take
Song A Day #421
First singing note: A
[verse]
Em Bm
My love lay slain by a snake in a field
C B
I vowed to bring her back by any strength I could wield
Em Bm
No mere death won't stop me for my love is pure and hot
C Bm
And beside my music my love is all I got
Em Bm C Bm
Whooooaaa

[verse]
So I set out to locate those tunnels leading deep
And I came upon the River Styx where the boatman earns his keep
And even as he barred my way with staff and coin and ring
I take my ukulele and I start to sing
[break]
Em D
“All my life I’ve waited for
Ebm
Her staff beyond the shores of freedom
Em
Now she’s gone
D
And I’ve come looking
Ebm D
Many man has come before me”

[verse]
Finally I came to the land of the dead
And I saw the face that all mere mortal men do dread
And the face it spoke with words so cold and bleak
I felt that I was dying even as heard him speak

[pre-chorus]
Am Bm Em
“Abandon hope all ye that enter here
C D Em
Though love be your purpose you live not without fear
Am Bm Em
My heart has never known love and so I will not let her go
 C D Em
Not for you Orfeo”

[chorus]
G D Em C G D Em C
G D Em C
“Oh good king you think you know everything
G D Em C
But it's love that binds the world and makes it whole.”
G D Em C
“You words move me not nor your song, I see your thought
 G D
My heart will not be moved
Em C
As is your goal.”
 G D Em C
“I’d gladly give my life for hers as the world without her lives in a curse
 G D Em C
I'd die so she can keep her beauty in the world.”
 G D Em C
“Your precious life you'd give so that the one you love may live
 G D Em C
My sleeping heart is shaken life a banner fresh unfurled.”

[verse]
“The two of you may go
But this doom I do decree
You may turn around only once
To make sure she's following
But if you should turn a second time
Then your quest will be undone
She'll remain with me
And you'll go back to the sun, ohhhh”

[verse]
And that's the story of how I lost the woman that I love twice
The first time by no fault of my own and the second time by my own vice
For in the darkness and the shadow
My thoughts began to quake
And before I know what had happened
I did a double take
Ahhhhhooooh
Don’t / Just Give it Away
Song A Day #422
First singing note: E
[intro]
Am Em G D Am Em G D
[verse]
Am Em G D
Don’t give it away
Am Em G D
Just give it away
Am Em G D
Don’t give it away
Am Em G D
Just give it away
[verse]
Am Em G D Am Em G D
Mouth, to mouth
Am Em G D Am Em
Eye, to eye
G D Am Em G D Am Em G D
Can you see me?
[verse]
Am Em G D
When I went on my merry way
A Em G D
And I saw the beach and sand
A Em G D
I thought I saw the will of God
A Em G D
I saw what He had planned
[chorus]
Don’t give it away
Just give it away
Don’t give it away
Just give it away
The Wonders of the Mighty Powerstrip
Song A Day #423
First singing note: C
[verse]
C Em
Let me tell you a little story
Bb F
About the devices in your house
C Em
You may think that they just sit there
Bb F
Quiet as a mouse
C
But they are robbing you
Em Bb F
Taking advantage of your negligence (Oh no!)
C Em
They are stealing your hard-earned moolah
Bb F
Whenever they get the chance
[verse]
Look at this cell phone charger
What a cute little thing
But it’s still sucking up energy
Even when it’s not charging
[verse]
Will you help staunch the madness?
Will you staunch the greedy flow?
There’ one simple thing that you can do
And now I will show, you
[chorus]
G A B
Power strip
G A Em
Power strip
G A B
Power strip
G A Em
Power strip
[verse]
When you plug things into power strips
You can flip a little switch
Which stops the flow of energy
Saving you money, and the environment
Saving you money, and the environment
Saving you money, and the environment
[verse]
It’s up to you
Power strips
Power strips
Just flip that switch
Lonesome Valley
Song A Day #424
First singing note: C
[verse]
C
You’ve got to walk
F C
That lonesome valley
G F
You’ve got to walk
C
It by yourself
F
Ain’t nobody here
C
Gonna walk it for you
G F
You’ve got to walk that lonesome valley
C
By yourself
[verse]
Now mother walked
That lonesome valley
She walked it by herself
Ain’t nobody here
Done walked it for her
She had to walk that lonesome valley
By herself
[verse]
Father walked
That lonesome valley
He walked it by himself
Nobody else
Could ever ever walked it for him
He had to walk that valley
By himself
Now John
They say he was a Baptist
John, they say he was a Jew
But the Bible
Plainly tells you
John was a preacher, too
You’ve got to walk
That lonesome valley
You’ve got to walk
It by yourself
Ain’t nobody here
Gonna walk it for you
You’ve got to walk that lonesome valley
By yourself
How is the World Different? Because of You
Song A Day #425
First singing note: A
[verse]
D
Humanity
A
Multitudinous
Bm G
And it inspired awe
D
From the sadness
A
From the goodness
Bm G
We struggle to do our best through it all
D
There is difference
A
And there is sameness
Bm
But each voice, a voice
G
Whether it boom or squeak
D
And though we were born
A
And our parents named us
Bm G
In the lives we lead we all are unique
D
In a world
A
Ever-changing
Bm
Sometimes we hide from
G
What is strange
D
But we can shape
A
That rearranging
Bm
Thus becoming the only constant:
G
Change
[chorus]
D A Bm G D A Bm G
Because of you
D A Bm
How is the world different?
G
Because of you
D A Bm
How is the world different?
G
Because of you
D A Bm
How is the world different?
G
Because of you
D A Bm
How is the world different?
G
Because of you
The Big Thaw with Groupon!
Song A Day #426
First singing note: E
[verse]
C F C F
Winter is leaving
Am G C F
Springtime’s on its way
C F
Now’s the time
C F
For fun, fun, fun
Am G C F
Now it’s time to play
[chorus]
C
Rock climbing
F
Sky diving
C F
Tennis and golf
C
Boat tours
F
Street fairs
Am G
And paintball
C F
Manicure, pedicure
C F
Put your sandals on
C F
We’re going to the beach
Am G
With Groupon
[verse]
You can find someone
To help you clean your house
Or to landscape your lawn
Car washes
Or boot camp
To help your abs get hard
[chorus]
Whale watching
Outdoor dining
Biking and walking tours
For real!
You can even rent a Segway
Groupon has got all the best deals
[verse]
Now that I have told you
What are you waiting for?
Get on over to Groupon
Deals galore
Those Gaming Guys
Song A Day #427
First singing note: F#
[verse]
D Dbm Bm A
They’re not gaming spies (shhhhh)
D Dbm Bm A
They’re not gaming flies (buzz, buzz, buzz)
D Dbm Bm
They’re not gaming pies
A D
They’re the gaming guys
A D
The gaming guys
[verse]
They tell no gaming lies (no, no, no)
They wear no gaming disguise (no, no, no)
But they are gaming wise (yes!)
The gaming guys
The gaming guys
[chorus]
D G
They’re the gaming guys
Whoa-oooooooh
D G
They’re the gaming guys
Whoa-oooooooh
D G
They’re the gaming guys
Whoa-oooooooh
D G
They’re the gaming guys
Whoa-oooooooh
Forty Two
Song #42
First note sung: A
F------Am-----G-----
Am---F---Am---E----
G---F---Am---G---
Am---F---Am---E----
G---F---Am---G---
Am---F---Am---E----
G---
Forty two x42
Song for Sanae’s (Ivory’s Mom) Birthday
Song number #43
First note sung: F
F—Eb---Eb---Bb---
X2
[verse]
F Eb Eb Bb
Sanae, Sanae, sweet as papaya
F Eb Eb Bb
Today is your birthday, so if you want to cry-a
F Eb Eb Bb
I hope you eat cake and gluten free pie-a
F Eb Eb Bb
Cuz you got a charm that no one will deny-a
F Eb Eb Bb
It’s a brand new day with Obama, oh my-a
F Eb Eb Bb
Cary and Leto sing The roof is on fire
[bridge]
Gm Ab
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
Bb C
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
Db Eb
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
F Eb
Sanae, Sanae, S-s-sanae
F E
Sanae, Sanae, S-s-sanae
F
Oh yeah!
Rock and Roll Cats
Song #44
First note sung: F
[chorus]
Fm Gm Fm Gm Fm Gm Dm
Roll cats, roll cats, rock and roll cats
X4
[verse]
Fm
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties roll
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties rock and roll
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties roll
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties rock and roll
Cuz these are roll cats, roll cats, rock and roll cats
[chorus]
Fm Gm Fm Gm Fm Gm Dm
Roll cats, roll cats, rock and roll cats
X3
Fm
Rockcookiebottom.com motha fucka
X3
Fm
Cuz they’re roll cats, roll cats, rock and roll cats
Fm Gm Fm Gm Fm Gm Dm
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties roll
Fm Gm Fm Gm Fm Gm Dm
These kitties don’t lol, these kitties rock and roll
[chorus]
Fm Gm Fm Gm Fm Gm Dm
Cuz they’re roll cats, roll cats, rock and roll cats
Rock and roll, motha fucka
The Rain Returned
Song #45
First note sung: Bb
[verse]
Bbm Eb Bbm
And she was showing up on my front porch
Bbm Eb Bbm Eb Bbm
Wearing the same clothes, singing the same song
Bbm
We got to talking
Bbm Eb Bbm
It turned out that she was raised in the same town
Bbm Eb Bbm
Grew up on the same street
Bbm Eb Bbm
In fact, lived in my room
F Eb Bbm Eb-F-Ab-Bbm—Eb-F-Ab-Bbm
She was from another universe
F Eb Bbm Eb-F-Ab-Bbm—Eb-F-Ab-Bbm
Her atoms were mine, but reversed
Db F
She looked like me, but not like me
Eb Bbm
It’s kinda hard to explain
Db F
She said, “In my universe things are similar to yours
Eb Bbm
But when we make love, it makes rain
F#
We’re in the middle of a drought
Gm
Which is why I sought you out
Eb F Bb
You need to come with me
Gm Eb
Our scientists say that if you and I do it today
F Bb
The rain will return finally.”
Am
She brought me along on her ship
G
We got to know each other along the way
Am G F
It was like looking into a mirror that’s distorted and all opaque
Bb
To make a long story short
Gm
We made love in a castle
Eb Bb
Surrounded by the inhabitants of her universe
Bb Gm
And in nine months’ time, like some kind of miracle
Eb F Bb
The rain returned
Gm
Oh, the rain returned
Eb Bb
Oh, the rain returned
F Eb
And that’s how I made love to myself in another universe
F Eb Bb
And the rain returned
The Legend of Zelda Overworld
Song #46
First note sung: G
Gm-------
[verse]
Gm F Eb Bb
I’m just a little elfin boy, nobody pays me any mind
Ab G C# D
But I dream of another world, saving all man kind
Gm F Eb Bb
I’m just a little elfin boy, not a hero like legends of old
Ab G C# D
But I’ve got something inside of me that’ll make your blood run cold
Gm F Eb Bb
This forest is so confining
Cm G D
At night when the walls seem to close in on me, I can hear a new life calling
Gm F Eb Bb
Wish I had a fairy,
Cm G D
a friend to talk to when I was feeling down when there’s no other sound
Gm F Eb Bb
Ab G C# D
[verse]
Gm F Eb Bb
I’m just a little elfin boy I get a green tunic this year
Ab G C# D
When my birthday comes and goes, I’ll still be right here
Gm F Eb Bb
I’m just a little elfin boy, but someday I’ll be a man
Ab G C# D
You better believe that when that day comes I’m gonna do all that I can
Gm F Eb Bb
Make my own adventure, ride my horse through the fields of holly
Cm G D
They’ll tell my stories, a legend they’ll call me
Gm F Eb Bb
I can almost taste it. No challenge that I can’t surmount
Cm G D
No enemy so big that I cannot face it
Gm F Eb Bb
Ab G C# D
X2
Lifeforce
Song #47
First note sung: Ab
[verse]
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
D
Lifeforce!
Gm F
Played this game when I was a child
Bb Gm F
Two player gunner, now I’m running wild
Gm F
Got three lives but it never got old
Bb Gm F
Game too hard but I cut on a code
[bridge]
Dm Gm
Welcome to fuel, how bout you?
Dm Gm
I didn’t like the laser cuz it went ‘pew pew’
Dm Gm
Don’t get stuck in the hill of the flesh
Dm D
Screen goes for to write you death
[verse]
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
D
Lifeforce!
Gm F
Letters made of fire and out in space
Bb Gm F
Scary eyes, boss man, scary face
Gm F
Shooting through veins and arms at reach
Bb Gm F
This kind of game is one you cannot teach
[bridge]
Dm Gm
???
Dm Gm
Flofin’s hair is so bizarre
Dm Gm
Shoot and dart, dodge and fly
Dm D
When you’re down you just shoot the eye
[verse]
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
Gm F
Lifeforce, lifeforce, we been blessed
Bb Gm F
Best shoot em upper on the NES
D
Lifeforce!
Two Steps to the Left, Texas-Style
Song A Day #489
First Singing Note: E
[intro]
C----
[Verse]
C
You're running down the terminal
F C
You're looking for your gate
You're pretty stressed out
As you cast about
G
Cause you're already late
C
You hear a sound behind you
F
You hear it coming for a mile
C
Two steps to left, son
G C
Two steps Texas-style
[Chorus]
F C
Two steps to the left, Texas-style
G C
I won’t wait a minute or a while
F C
Stand in my way, I’m about to get riled up
G C
Two steps to the left, Texas-style

[Verse 2]
C
Well there's a fat man on a trolley
F C
With grannies on the back
He's weaving in and out
G
Through the terminal, it's packed
C
And as he rushes past you
F
the grannies barely smile
C G C
Two steps to left, son Texas-style
[Chorus]
F
Two lefts to
C
Two steps to the left, Texas-style
 G C
Well I won't wait a minute or a while
F C 
Stand in my way I'm about to get riled up
G C
Two steps to the left Texas-style

[Instrumental]
C----
[Verse 3]
C
Well down the way a bit
F C
He crashes to a halt
He's hit a statue of George Bush
G
Bronze with a core of salt
C
The grannies are all dangling
F
It's a gruesome and it's vile
C G C
Two steps to left, son Texas-style
[Chorus/Ending]
F C
Two steps to the left, Texas-style
(I’m tired)
G C
Two steps to the left, Texas-style
F C
I won't wait a minute or a while
Em F 
Stand in my way I'm about to get riled up
G C
Two steps to the left Texas-style
(I just got off the plane, I’m tired)

Mummy’s on Campus
Song #48
First note sung: G
Eb---Gm---Ab---Bb---
X2
[verse]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Open up your heart and let the light shine in
Eb Gm
Everybody sees you
Ab Bb
Everybody knows just what you’re doing
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Eb Gm
Close down that tomb
Ab Bb
Some things are better left undone
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I never really told you about the feelings kept inside
[prechorus]
Cm Fm
But here it comes and there it goes, baby
Cm Bb
Here it comes and there it goes
[chorus]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again, my baby
Eb Gm Ab Bb
[verse]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Even Jesus Christ was resurrected
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could do the same?
Eb Gm Ab Bb
But we best think twice before we bring things back that don’t belong here
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Look at my eyes x3
[prechorus]
Cm Fm
Here it comes, baby and there it goes, baby
Cm Bb
Here it comes and there it goes
[chorus]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again, my baby
Eb Gm Ab Bb
[bridge]
Ab Cm
These feelings wouldn’t survive if we didn’t keep them alive
Gm Fm
If we didn’t feed them love
Bb
Love
Eb Gm Ab Bb
X2
[verse]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Open up your heart and let the moonlight in
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Tell the whole truth, tell the world our story
Eb Gm Ab Bb
But you best think twice before you bring things back that don’t belong here
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Look at my eyes x3
[prechorus]
Cm Fm
Here it comes, baby and there it goes, baby
Cm
Here it comes, baby
Bb
There it goes
[chorus]
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name
Eb Gm Ab Bb
I know you’re calling my name again, my baby
Eb Gm Ab Bb
Eb Gm Ab Bb
X4
The Sad Little Porn Cassette
Song A Day #490
First Singing Note: F
[intro]
Percussive
[Verse]
F
I am the sad porn cassette
Bb
I wander the globe in my rusty Corvette
F
Though I find it easy to forget
Bb
The days when millions sang a duet
F
With me.....
C 
But now I flee.....
Am Bb
Rejected, disrespected, so unforeseen
F Gm 
I have no home, so now I roam
Am Bb
Useless as a garden gnome
[chorus]
F
I was made to communicate
Bb
But now I seem so out of date
F
What use is technology
C
That has passed into mythology

[verse]
F
They say I’m obsolete, It makes me sigh
Bb
Where does dead media go to die?
F
Though I still work, I feel quite spry
Bb
My reason to be has said goodbye
F
To me.....
C
Please hear my plea....
Am Bb
Rejected, disrespected, so unforeseen
F Gm
I have no home, so now I roam
Am Bb
Useless as a garden gnome
[verse]
F
I was made to communicate
Bb
But now I seem so out of date
F
What use is technology
C
That has passed into mythology


Trying to Make Today Matter in the Same Way as Tomorrow
Song A Day #491
First Singing Note: C
Backup vocals during chorus
[intro]
C----
[verse]
C F G
There's an asteroid heading for the earth
C F G
Unknown length and unknown girth
C 
But I'm not scared for what it's worth
A* G C
Trying to make today matter in the same way as tomorrow
C F G
I had a pal his name was Michael
C F G
He fell off his motorcycle
C
Got hopped up on a bottle of Nyquil
A* G C C7
Trying to make today matter in the same way as tomorrow

[Chorus]
F C
Trying to make today matter in the same way
Am G
As a freshly blooming bouquet in the spring
F C
Tomorrow never comes the idea drums and drums
Am G 
As we are all struck dumb by angels that laugh at us and sing

[verse]
C F G
Cheap wine on a sinking ship
C F G 
She gave to him a big fat lip
C
Then she took off at a surprising clip
A* G C 
Trying to make today matter in the same was as tomorrow
C F G
Humans love an astronaut
C F G
Sitting on his futuristic yacht
C 
He might meet friends and he might not
A* G C C7
Trying to make today matter in the same was as tomorrow
[chorus]
F C
Trying to make today matter in the same way
Am G
As a freshly blooming bouquet in the spring
F C
Tomorrow never comes the idea drums and drums
Am G 
As we are all struck dumb by angels that laugh at us and sing

[verse]
C F G
Knew a man named Captain Kirk
C F G
He made the ladies go berserk
C
Somehow though he made it work
A* G C
Trying to make today matter in the same was as tomorrow
C F G
Come a bit closer and I'll tell you quiet
C F G
Though everyone else here will deny it
C
First you learn and then apply it
A* G C C7
Makin' today matter in the same way as tomorrow
[chorus]
F C
Trying to make today matter in the same way
Am G
As a freshly blooming bouquet in the spring
F C
Tomorrow never comes the idea drums and drums
Am G
As we are all struck dumb by angels that laugh at us and sing
(Well, that was good though)
[ending]
C

*Power-chord; ambiguous of quality. root & 5th
Cedar Properties
Song A Day #492
First Singing Note: G
[verse ]
G B Em
If you're looking for a place to live and play
C
In the East Bay
G D
There's only two, two words
C
You oughta know
G B
Any size or price
Em C
Any amenity you seek
G D
You'll find the perfect place through
C
Cedar Properties

[chorus]
G D
Cedar Properties
Em C 
In Oakland and Berkeley
G D
With a quiet expertise
Em C
That’s Cedar Properties

[verse]
here's a two bedroom two bath
In the heart of North Berkeley, yeah
Black granite bar and picnic in the back, ohh
Beautiful hardwood floors
Mere blocks away from BART
It's a quiet neighborhood
With a spiral staircase to boot
[chorus]
Cedar Properties
In Oakland and Berkeley
With a quiet expertise
That’s Cedar Properties

[chorus progression continued]
Cedar Properties
I've been so pleased
For two years with such ease
With cedar properties

[chorus progression continued]
The maintenance men always come when you ask
They'll help you with any task
The rent is so fair that it's absurd
And they give you until the third
[ending]
G
Cedar Properties
Cherrish
Song A Day #493
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
F
Well I know that you've heard
Bb Dm
That antioxidants are good for you
C
But what exactly do they do?
F 
Well they can help with anti-aging
Bb 
And disease prevention
Dm
And that's not to mention
C (C7)
They could help you live longer, too

[chorus]
F Bb
Cherrish is a cherry drink
Dm C
With anti-oxidants to the max
F Bb
Cherrish gets your body in sync
Dm C
And it can even help your muscles relax

[verse]
So it's high in anti-oxidants
And it's not an accident that
Cherries are anti-inflammatory too!

[chorus]
Cherrish is an amazing drink
Proven to help your muscles relax
Cherrish gets your body in sync
With anti-oxidants to the max
Sleepy Isaac on His First Birthday
Song A Day #494
First Singing Note:A
[intro]
D ----
[verse-A]
D
Happy birthday Isaac, you're asleep on your tummy
G Gm D
Boy this cake sure is yummy, ohhh
D
Happy birthday Isaac we all came here for you
G Gm D
You're one year old today ohhhhhh
[verse-B]
A G A
And you just sleep all you want
G A
Have sweet dreams in the field
G D
We'll save some piñata candy, you bet!
A G A 
When you wake up it'll still be your birthday
G D
Though you don't know what that means just yet
A G A
Today is your birthday
G A
You can sleep it away
G D
Everything is a-ok with us

[verse-B Chords]
Pin the tail on the donkey
But don't make too much noise
You don't want to wake
The birthday boy
We'll sing him happy birthday
He'll hear it in his dreams
Let the little guy rest
Among the grass and trees
[instrumental]
(Guitar, rooted off of D chord)
[outro]
D
Happy birthday Isaac, you're asleep on your tummy
G Gm D
Boy this cake sure is yummy, ohhh
On the Wind
Song A Day #495
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
fingerpicking
Am
[verse]
Am Em D Em D Em
A dark wind is blowing down the lane
Am Em D Em D
She started out on foot, she ended up restrained
Am Em 
Won't somebody help her
G D
Get her bearings again?
Am Em D Em D Em
She's just floating on the wind
[chorus]
Am E G D
Am E G D
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Am E G D
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh

[verse]
It's just masochistic how she stayed so long
In a place that she clearly knew was wrong
And they're chasing her down and she can't get away
She's barricaded in, wanna keep them at bay
[chorus]
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh

[chorus progression continued]
I came to set you free
I came to turn you in to me
I came to congratulate
I came to open the gate

[verse]
The lightning that struck revealed a room
Linoleum floor where Bibles were strewn
And in the corner, a dim night light
An open window she's nowhere in sight
[chorus]
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Ooooooooh oooohhhhh ooooooooooh ohh
Do Your Best
Song A Day #496
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
C--Bb--F----
[verse]
C Bb
Do your best no matter the cost
F
And the rest will follow like a coin being tossed
C Bb
One step at a time down a road unfamiliar
F
You’re on the right path
If you’re scared of what’s down there
[chorus]
C Bb F
Do your best, your best
C Bb F
Do your best, your best
[verse]
Monsters frighten in the dark of the night
Little children screaming “Daddy turn on the lights”
When you’re older the fear is put in different places
Can be triggered by conditions of the heart
Or lovers’ faces
[chorus]
Do your best, your best
Do your best, your best
[bridge] x2
Dm--C--Bb--F--
[chorus; vocals only]
Do your best, your best
Whoa whoa
Do your best, your best
I Want to be Healthy with Life - Supplemented
Song A Day #497
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
D
When I was 25 I told myself
Bm
I'd eat healthier
D
No more baking cookies
Bm
And no more pizza either
G
26 27 came and went
A
And though in that time I've gotten better
Fm
I still bake cookies, eat the pizza
G A
Don't follow my plans to the letter

[bridge] x2
D--Bbm--
[verse]
My grandpa died of heart disease
His father too had a heart attack
Last time I got my cholesterol checked
I wasn't quite on that track
Still if I don't improve on some
Areas that need improving
I could be heading down that road
And that's a road that needs removing

[chorus]
D A G A
It's all about making choices
D A Bbm A
All about setting your goals
D A G A
I don't want to die from a heart attack, no
D A Bbm A
I don't want to die before I get old

[bridge] x2
D--Bbm--
[verse]
I run almost every day
But I can't seem to shake this gut
If I could afford it, I'd ask my trainer
To really help me move my butt
Help with ways to keep from eating
All the things i can't escape
And if I had a chance I'd take it
I would do whatever it takes
[chorus]
Cause it’s all about making choices
All about setting my goals
I don't want to from a heart attack, no
I don't want to die before I get old
[chorus]
It's all about making choices
All about setting your goals
I don't want to from a heart attack, no
I don't want to die before I get old
Rulemaking
Song A Day #498
First Singing Note:D
[intro]
Bm
When Congress writes a statute
A
And the President signs it
Bm A
It usually doesn’t have enough detail
G
To be put into effect
A
No, no
[verse-A]
Bm
So federal agencies
A
They fill in the details
Bm A
By issuing regulations through a process
G
Commonly called rulemaking
A D
And in this process, you can be involved
D A D
(Let your voice be heard)
[verse-B]
D C#dim Bm A
Rulemaking begins with an analysis
G F#m
Of the issue or problem
Em A
Set forth in the statute
D C#dim Bm A
Scientific, economic, and technical research
G F#m
As the agency learns
Em A
Some solutions emerge
[verse-C]
G A
Many times agency staff
Will host public meetings
G A
Where you and I can offer
Our own solutions
G A
These meetings may be announced
Bm
In the Federal Register
G A
Or by more informal means
[verse-B]
The next step is
Drafting the regulation
Then review of the draft
By federal experts
The draft is then published
And that’s when your input
Can really shine on
The issue at hand
[verse-C]
Through hearings, advisory committees
Interactive workshops, interviews
Questionnaires and focus groups
But the most common way to provide
Your thoughts to the agency
Is to go to regulations.gov
Regulations.gov
[ending]
D A D
Let your voice be heard
The Metromint Jingle
Song A Day #499
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
D
It’s like climbing a tree
Bm
It’s like crossing the seas
A
It’s like just-mowed grass
G
Or shaking your…butt
[verse]
Jumping up high
Not a cloud in the sky
It’s an autonomous zone
It’s like meeting your clone
It’s like a cool, clean lake
Like a… taste quake
No ingredients are fake
Metromint!
[verse]
It’s truth revealed
It’s never yield
It’s depth of field
Metromint
Get Up off Your Ass (And Just Do Something)
Song #49
First note sung: F#
[verse]
D Bm A G
I went to the bank today but they didn’t have any money
D Bm A G
I went to school today but I didn’t learn a damn thing
D Bm A G
I went to the supermarket but they didn’t have any food
D Bm A G
I went to see the man in charge, all I got was a bad attitude
[prechorus]
F#m G Bm A
It’s not hard to see how things couldn’t get much worse, couldn’t get much worse
[chorus]
D A Bm G
Get up off of your ass and just do something, just do something
D A G A
Get up off of your ass and just do something
[verse]
D Bm A G
I went to the ocean today but the whole damn thing has gone dry
D Bm A G
I went to the park today but I couldn’t find any trees
D Bm A G
And then I went to the zoo today but all the animals had died
D Bm A G
They got sick of living cages so they all committed suicide
[prechorus]
F#m G Bm A
It’s not hard to see how things couldn’t get much worse, couldn’t get much worse
[chorus]
D A Bm G
Get up off of your ass and just do something, just do something
D A G A
Get up off of your ass and just do something
D A Bm G
Get up off of your ass and just do something, just do something
D A G A
Get up off of your ass and just do something, just do something
D A Bm G
Something, something, anything
D A G A
Something, something, anything
D A Bm G
Something, something, anything
D A G A D
Something Get up off of your ass
(five hundred)
Song A Day #500
First Singing Note:G#
G#m
Five hundred songs
In five hundred days
C#m
I’m doing alright
G#m
I’m doing okay
F#
Five hundred songs
G#m
Five hundred days
Yeah
NYVS The Jingle
Song A Day #500b
First Singing Note:D
D
You watch videos
F#m
On the internet
Bm
And you think to yourself
A
I’d like to do that
D
So you go to the store
F#m
You buy a camera
Bm A
But you’re not sure where to start
G A
At the New York Video School
Bm F#m
They’ve got a program for you, it’s cool
G A
Show you how to do amazing things
Bm
With digital video
F#m A
You’ll be a video king or queen
D
When you learn to do this
G
And this
A
And this
G
And this
And this
Five Hundred and One
Song A Day #501
First Singing Note:D
[intro]
D----
[verse]
D
Five hundred and one
Five hundred and one
It’s only begun
Five hundred and one
G
And it will never be done
Five hundred and one
D
In the rain or the sun
Five hundred and one
A
Not a race never run
G
Happy or glum
D A
Five hundred and one
[verse]
Five hundred and one
Think of pretty little buns
Five hundred and one
That’s more than just none, oh
Five hundred and one
They all weigh a ton
Five hundred and one
Some lost and some won
Put down your gun
Five hundred and one
Five hundred and one
[verse]
I won’t be outdone
Five hundred and one
There’s not one I’d shun
Five hundred and one
Sometimes I’m stunned
Five hundred and one
Like a priest or a nun
Or ole Sally Lunn
Five hundred and one
Five hundred and one
Five hundred and one
[ending chord]
D
Fire in the Sky
Song A Day #502
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
F
There's a fire in the sky
C
It's a tower made of clouds
Bb F 
And it's power rings out over creation
F 
Meanwhile on the ground
C
Waves of frozen sound
Bb F
Break upon the backs of stale frustration
Bb F 
And the citizens wake up at the sensation
C
And rub their eyes

[verse]
No melody or words
Could have cut quite like the sword
Swung by the hand of evolution
To live and grow and die
Without ever knowing why
Knowing how to ask but finding no solution
Finally calling it divine retribution
Cut the cords

[bridge]
Bb
We're not abandoned
F
We are abandoning
Bb
Before we learned to talk
F
We had to learn to sing
Bb
Without a plan
F
We can't demand a thing
C
We can't demand a thing

[verse]
W was on my way to school
W saw her cross the street
And her power sent out waves upon the pavement
I pulled over then and there
Cause I had to catch my breath
And stare in this delicate amazement 
I felt utterly exposed, stripped naked
To the bone

[verse]
When she came up to the car
And asked, "Do you know where we are?"
I couldn't tell if she was serious or joking
I tried to say “yes”
And “planet earth, I guess”
But the sounds out of my mouth were more like choking
In the distance some peeper frogs were croaking
To the moon

[bridge]
We were married
It was the first of May
And I carried her and she carried me
The entire way
It was scary
But it was
The best day of my life

[verse]
In my house there is a room 
And in that room there is a drawer
And in that drawer is a list of all my worries
It's an illustrated list
With notes an annotations
And entries like nature's wrath and fury
And brain aneurysms from being in a hurry
I eat too fast

[verse]
Sometimes I go to sleep 
Thinking I'll never wake
Is it only in my mind these thoughts are turning?
Or do I die every night
To be revived by the light
Of the tower in the clouds softly burning
And the pitter patter of the rain finally returning
As it hits the glass

[bridge]
Out the window
The sky is overcast
If I could fly I'd follow birds
On their lonely paths
But I swallow all my pills
And I am fading fast 
Close my eyes

[verse]
I find the space between
Wakefulness and sleep 
Is the very best time for free association
And most of my ideas
The ones I throw away and keep
Come in the shower between exfoliations 
Not on the mountain top in mediation
No not at all

[verse]
Jesus said that money 
And religion didn't mix
And so they built corporate mega-churches
Jesus said that being poor
Was the only way to live
And so we arrest the homeless like they're walking curses
We cast them out as if there were nothing worse
Than being poor

[bridge]
There's no space there
For interpretation
It's an amazing case of blind
Manifestation 
No lonely history
Celebration
Defies explanation
[outro: instrumental]
• [verse progression x2]
• [bridge progression x1]
The Club Hopper vs. Dr. Boigenstein
Song A Day #503
First Singing Note: G (for first 'Hello?')
[intro]
Em----C----G----
D
This is Dr. Boigenstein…
G
Hello?
What?
D
Hello?
Hello?
D#
Hello?
Where are you?
D
Hello?
What?
[verse: progression repeats for remainder of song]
Em
Can you hear me
No!
C
What?
Hello?
G
I’m at the club!
What?
D
Can you hear me?
No!
The test results
What?
Did you get them in?
Hello?
Am I gonna live?
What?
Can you hear me?
No!
I'm too young to die
What?
I wanna live
Are you at a club?
Come on doc
Hello?
Don't leave me hanging
Hanging what

I want to live
I didn't hear 
Say again
Hello
I want to live
Hello
What
One more time

Ok doc
What?
Whatever man
Hello!
Smell you later 
We got them back
Thanks for nothing
Your test results came back negative
10 Billion
Song A Day #504
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
E---
D----
A----
E----
[chorus: progression repeats until bridge]
E
10 billion
D
10 billion
A E
10 billion people, yeah
10 billion
10 billion
10 billion people, yeah
10 billion people all need to be fed
10 billion people looking 30 years ahead
10 billion
10 billion
10 billion people, yeah
10 billion people eating way less cows
And eating more vegetables
Livestock produces more C02 now
Than all our automobiles
Livestock covers 30 percent
Of the land surface of the earth
Where are 10 billion people gonna live and play?
Where are 10 billion people gonna work?
10 billion
10 billion
10 billion people, yeah
[bridge]
F#m A E
10 billion people being fed in a way
D
That's sustainable
F#m A E
10 billion people producing no waste
D G#
No waste at all
[chorus]
10 billion
10 billion
10 billion people, yeah
Fallen Friends
Song A Day #505
First Singing Note:G
[verse:progression repeats throughout song]
C F
I got to go to the damn post office
C F
Gotta pick up a package there
C F 
I gotta run a bunch of errands
Am G C
But I don't care

And this one’s for my fallen heroes
Friends that couldn't stay Hominid
They died because they thought no one loved them
But I did
I still dooooooooo….
I still dooooooooo….

Am I wasting the life I was given?
What’s the point of it anyway?
Should I mourn the fact that I'll never know
Or celebrate?

God must have a sense of humor
I bet he laughs when he farts
And if love is the answer to all my questions
I love with all my heart
Yes I dooooooooo….
Yes I dooooooooo….
I got to go to the damn post office
Gotta pick up a package there
Gotta run a bunch of errands
But I don't…

Farthead
Song A Day #506
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
C G F Fm C G F Fm
Are we alone in the universe?
C G
Does hell exist?
F Fm C G F Fm
Is there anything worse?
[chorus]
F G G7
I find myself in old abandoned
Am Fm G
Vestigial processes and computations
[verse]
Maximize the damage
The damage to the core
Glowing red it will blow up, and be no more
[chorus]
She walks unseen smelling smoke and seeing green remedial misfits
Holding hands with punk rock singers
[verse]
It's a mystery
And I've tired of the game
So unlock the truth without me
And don't cry if the truth is lame
[chorus]
Miser, you old fart head
You crook, you stole the fun
Look now you're ripped apart
And thrown into the sun
[chorus]
Miser, you old fart head
You crook, you stole the fun
Look now you're ripped apart
And thrown into the sun

[ending]
C G F Fm C
Skinit.com
Song A Day #507
First Singing Note: E
[verse 1]
C G
The devices all around you
Am F
Have feelings in their hearts
C B
They are little individuals
F
Though you can’t tell them apart
C
If they could speak
G
They would tell you
Am F
In a voice both clear and calm
C B
“We are sick of looking all the same
F C
Go to Skinit.com”
[verse 2]
C G F Am G
Let your devices show their personality
C G
Choose from hundreds of designs
F Am G
For every device you see
Am G F
And as if that weren't enough
G F G
To get your devices feeling fine
Am G F
You can use the customizer
G C
To create your own design
[outro]
C G
Skinit.com
Am F
Skinit.com
C G
Skinit.com
Am F C
Skinit.com
The Body Sings
Song A Day #508
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
D Bbm G A
Move your body in a circle
D Bbm G A
Make a picture, make it purple
D Bbm G A
I'm a bad man, I do bad things
D Bbm 
I am seven sons
G A D Em G
And the body sings, oh
A D Em G A
And the body sings, oh

[verse]
In a muscle, in a tendon
In my blood I need to stop pretending
Stretch it out now, curl up tight
And the body sings
In the twilight, oh
And the body sings, oh

[chorus]
Bbm A G
I can't move or I can't stop moving
Bbm A G
No matter what I do I can't keep from improving
F# G A
Tripping down the stairs I fall and shatter bones and I hit my head

[verse]
Legs, legs to propel
Hands for grasping
An image of a sunset over time lapsing
And the tears fall and then I'm dry
And the body sings as I turn a blind eye, oh
The body sings, oh

[verse]
There's an earthquake, there's a flooding
There's a cut and the countertops are bloody
I hear the wind blow, I smell the fire
And my body sings I turn it up higher, oh
And the body sings, oh
[chorus]
I can't move or I can't stop moving
No matter what I do I can't keep from improving
Tripping down the stairs I fall and shatter bones and I hit my head

[verse]
Break dance, break down
See it smell it touch it taste it in the waves made by the sound
I am seven sons
I am just right
And the body sings in the morning light, oh
And the body sings
And the body

[verse]
I have senses, combination
Happy birthday, congratulations
Like the President, like the Saudi kings
Like clockwork the body sings, oh
The body sings, oh
The body sings, oh oh oh oh
The body sings, oh
The End is Coming
Song A Day #509
First Singing Note:B
[intro]
Em----
D----
C----
D
[verse]
Em D C D
When I pass a homeless man on the street
Em C B 
Sometimes I give him money
Em D C D
Other times I don't and I feel like a creep
Em C B
It feels like my days are a bit less sunny

[verse]
Why don't I give him money all the time?
I have the dough to spare
Why do I try to ignore him
When it's obvious I care?

[pre chorus]
Em D Em D
[chorus]
Em D
The end is coming
G Em D 
And I just want to sing
Em D
The end is coming
G Em D
The end of everything
Em D
The end is coming
G Em D
But we pretend it isn't
Em D
The end is coming
G Em D Em D
The tide has slowly risen

[verse]
When someone tries to sell me something
I instinctively shy away
Even when I need it, it doesn't matter what they bring
It doesn’t matter what they can do or say

[verse]
Why am I so against the salesman pitch?
At my door or on my phone
“No I don't need insurance you bitch
Just leave me alone”
[Pre Chorus]
Leave me alone
[chorus]
The end is coming
The end of everything
The end is coming
But we pretend it isn't
The end is coming
The tide has slowly risen
One of the Lucky Ones
Song #50
First note sung: E
[intro]
A E/G# F#m E/G#
X2
[verse]
A E/G# F#m E/G#
I wasn’t one of the lucky ones
A E/G# F#m E/G#
They told me I had to go
D E
So I packed up my things and I went to the car
A D E D
And I cried
X2
[bridge]
F#m D A E
Massive amounts of endorphins lately kept me hanging on to a dream
F#m D A E
Instead of swimming with dolphins I was a salmon swimming upstream
[verse]
A E/G# F#m E/G#
It wasn’t supposed to go this way
A E/G# F#m E/G#
But that’s the way it went
D
I drove home in a daze
E
I passed out on the couch
A D E D
And I cried, oh I cried (Sometimes everybody knows me, sometimes everybody knows my name)
Cried, cried, cried
X6
A
Nothing’s Strange
Song A Day #510
First Singing Note:F
[intro] x2
F
Bb
F
Am
[verse]
F Bb F
The world changes fast
Am F
Days gone past
Bb Am
Everything is possible
[chorus]
F Bb
And someday we’ll all ride the wave into the sun
C D
Making of the next millennium
F Bb
See the future, raise the change
C D F
Extraordinary, nothing is strange
[intro chord progression]
[chorus]
Someday we’ll all ride the wave into the sun
Making of the next millennium
See the future, raise the change
Extraordinary, nothing is strange
Ryeberg
Song A Day #511
First Singing Note:A
(Spoken introduction)
Hello Ryeberg Live
I’m coming to you from the past
About a week in the past
And I’m on day 511 right now
Of having written a song and made a video
Every single day
A little over a year ago a guy named Anton posted about me on Ryeberg
It’s pretty much the nicest thing anyone’s ever written about me
And I really enjoyed it
I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight, but I made you this video
So please enjoy it
[verse]
F Am Bb F C
Ryeberg in Toronto
F Am Bb C
Ryeberg on the internet
Dm C Bb
If web video's a chore
Dm C Bb
And you're looking for something more
Am C
Look no further cause you've found what you're looking for
[verse]
Oh on Ryeberg
You must be congratulated
Ryeberg
For the way you have curated
And now you're doing it live
Here's a virtual high five
Have a drink for me and dance to the funky jive
Dance that funky jive
[outro]
F
Bb Am Bb Am F
D-d-d- Dance that funky jive
Bb Am Bb Am F
Oh you crazy Canadians
Bb
You dance
You dance
Am Bb Am F
You dance that funky jive
Bb
Ryeberg
Am Bb Am F
Dance that funky jive
On My Street
Song A Day #512
First Singing Note:F#
[intro inst.]
B
[verse]
B
On my street
There’s four stop signs
A motherfucking roundabout
And some power lines
G#m
On my street
My mutherfucking street
B
On my street
There’s a bunch of sidewalk
And people look at you funny
When you body rock
G#m
On my street
Said on my street
B
Well on my street
You’d call it tree-lined
There’s some roses
But I don’t mind
G#m
On my street
Yeah on my street
B
On my street
Yeah I’m on my street
My street
On my street
Save Yourself
Song A Day #513
First Singing Note:F
[intro]
Cm Am Fm Cm
F
Dm
C
[verse: progression repeats for remainder of song]
F
Rain falls down
Dm
And the sun
C
Comes shining
F
Day comes in
Dm C
To a world I’m walking
No one can save you
You must save yourself
Let’s go and fly away
Let’s go and fly away
Creatures dance
And the world
Moves on
Take my hand
And we’ll go a-walking
No one can save you
You must save yourself
Let’s go and fly away
Let’s go and fly away
No one can save you
You must save yourself
Let’s go and fly away
Let’s go and fly away
Impossible
Song A Day #514
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
F C
Faces
Dm Bb
Long forgotten
F C
Races
Dm Bb
Long since run
F C
Corridors
Dm Bb
Déjà vu
F C
Where the
Dm
Possible is done
[verse]
Crazy
Are the doctors
Lazy
Is the nurse
Broken
Are the bones
From bad to worse
[chorus]
F
It’s impossible
C
It’s impossible
Dm
It’s impossible
Bb
It’s impossible
F
It’s impossible
C
It’s impossible
Dm
It’s impossible
Bb
It’s impossible
[chorus]
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
It’s impossible
Outer Space
Song A Day #515
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
Eb Bb Db
Break dancing in outer space
Cm Bb
I think I got something on my face
Ab Bb
Mosquitos
Eb Bb
Are going to eat me
Eb Bb Db
Lilacs
Cm Bb
In zero gravity
Ab
Hilarious jokes
Bb Eb
Don’t seem to matter
Bb Ab
In outer space
Cm Gm
It’s hilarious
Cm Gm
But I can’t laugh
Cm
Can’t laugh and a half
Gm Ab Bb
Cause you need math
Eb Bb
To go up there
Cm
Up there
Eb Bb Cm
Where mosquitos
Ab Bb
Despair
Eb Bb Ab
Cause mosquitos need oxygen to live
Eb Bb Db
Outer space has no oxygen
Eb Bb Db
Outer space has no oxygen
C Bb
Do we live in reality?
Eb Bb Ab
What a stupid question
Eb Bb
Maybe these bugs
Eb Bb
Above me
Eb Bb Eb
Know the answer to that question
Cm
If they do
Gm
If they do
Cm
It’s just a matter of
Gm Ab Bb
Commu-nication
Eb Bb
They fly
Ab
Instead of talk
Eb Bb Ab
I talk and I walk
Eb Bb
They bite
Ab
And they suck
Eb Bb Ab
I eat, I shit, I fuck
Bb Eb Bb Ab
And I dreammmmmm
Eb Bb Ab
I dreammmmmm
Eb Bb Ab
Dreammmmm
Eb Bb Ab
I dreammmmm
Bb
Of outer space
[instrumental]
Eb Bb Db Cm Bbsus → Bb
Eb Bb Db Csus → C
G
Outer space
C G
The day grows dark
G
Outer space
C D7
This place is missing the mark
These people
And things
Daug7 Gbaug7 Aaug7 Caug7
And I just wanna sing
Eb Bb Ab
Outer space
Eb Bb Ab
Outer space
Apple or Orange
Song A Day #516
First Singing Note: Eb
Vocal only
[verse: implied harmonies]
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Eb Ab
What rhymes with orange
Fm Eb Ab
You could do a slant rhyme
Ab
Like born
Or thorn
Or torn
Or morn-ing
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Fm Db
Apple you can just eat
Fm Db
Orange you have to peel
Fm Eb
Apple is red
Ab Eb Ab
And orange is orange
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Eb Ab
Apple or orange
Fm Eb Ab
Which one should I eat?
Vitamin D
Song A Day #517
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
C
Golden sunshine
G Am
Shine down on my skin
F
Giving me, giving me
C
Vitamin D
G Am F
Giving me Vitamin D
[verse]
Vitamin D is carried
In the bloodstream
To the liver where it’s converted
Into the pro-hormone Calcidiol
Calcidiol
[Outro]
C G F Em
Vitamin D is also found in mushrooms
C
And fish oil
Father’s Day with Groupon
Song A Day #518
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
D
Papa
A
Daddy
D
Father
G D
No one else even compares
A A7
Father’s Day is when we show how we care
[chorus]
D G
With Groupon
D G
Groupon
[verse]
D
Go-karts
Boating
A
Rafting
Bowling
Bm
Sky dive
Wine taste
G
Haircuts
Segues
D
Paintball
Rent a bike
A
Play golf
Rock climb
Bm
Oil change
Car wash
G
Fitness deals
Massage
D
Sporting events
Comedy clubs
A Bm
Custom clothes for the dad you love
G A A7
Restaurants and museums
[chorus]
With Groupon
Groupon
[outro]
D
By the by
A
If you are traveling
D G
Be sure to check the Groupons in advance
D
For that city
A
It’s Groupon
D
It’s Groupon
I Didn’t Like It, And that’s Why I Didn’t Put a Ring on It
Song A Day #519
First Sining Note:C
[harmony rooted on C for this verse]
C
I didn’t like it
And that’s why I didn’t put a ring on it
I didn’t like it
And that’s why I didn’t put a ring on it
But evolutionarily speaking
Now that you’re dancing with him
It makes you more attractive
To me
[chorus]
C
Cause now
F
You’re a viable mate
C
Where before
Am G
You were just a woman
C
It appears
F
I may be too late
C Am G
I’ll be more careful in the future
[outro]
C
I didn’t like it
And that’s why I didn’t put a ring on it
I didn’t like it
And that’s why I didn’t put a ring on it
Your Mother Doesn’t Love You Anymore (An Extrasolar Anthem)
Song #51
First note sung: A
[verse]
G F#m Bm
Hello, how do you do?
G D A D
I’m an extrasolar planet for you
G F#m Bm
You know the earth is totally screwed
G D A D
I’m an extrasolar planet for you
G D A Bm
And you can call me Mom
G D A Bm
I bought your favorite toys, yeah
G D A Bm
We’ll have fun
G D A Bm
You’ll be my itty bitty girls and boys, yeah
G A D
You’ll be my little bitty girls and boys
[verse]
D Bm G A
There comes a time in every species life
D Bm G A
Where they’ve gotta look around and make the tough decisions
D Bm G A
The dinosaurs couldn’t face the hard facts
D Bm G A
They ended up extinct and buried in tar pits
G A
But don’t let that happen
G A
No, don’t let that happen
G A D
Don’t let that happen to you
[verse]
G F#m Bm
I’ve got 17 moons
G D A D
I’m an extrasolar planet for you
G F#m Bm
I make the earth look like a prude
G D A D
I’m an extrasolar planet for you
G D A Bm
I made your bed
G D A Bm
I made you cookies and tea
G D A Bm
I’m the Garden of Eden
G D A Bm
And you can eat from my forbidden tree, yeah
G A D
You can eat from my forbidden tree
D Bm G A
Think you’re old enough to know the meaning of the universe?
D Bm G A
So come on over and I’ll tell it to you
D Bm G A
Whatcha got to lose? Your mother doesn’t love you
D Bm G A
First thing when you get here I am going to hug you
G A
So come, come on over
G A
Yeah, come, come on over
G A D
Yeah, come, come on over to me!
D G A D
To me!
D G A D
Yeah!
Remember When I Said I Wanted an iPad?
Song A Day #520
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
Bb
Remember when I said
Cm Eb
I wanted an iPad?
Bb
Remember when I said
Cm Eb
I kinda wanted one real bad?
Bb
I still want one
Thought I don’t know
Cm Eb
What I would do with it
Bb
I’m unable to justify the cost
Cm Eb
And so I’m through with it
Bb
But wait I’m in a contest
Cm Eb
And I made it to the top five
Bb
Now all I need are votes
Cm Eb
To keep my dream alive
[guitar inst.]
Bb
Cm
Eb
Bb
Help me win an iPad
Cm Eb
Help me win an iiiiiPad
Bb
Help me win an iPad
Cm Eb
Help me win an iiiiiPad
Everything is Digital
Song A Day #521
First Singing Note:G
[intro]
C
F
C
G
[verse]
C F
I used to mow the lawn
C G
When there was a lawn to mow
C F
I'd jump into the pond
C G
And I'd say “Geronimo!”
C
Now all I see is concrete
F
Trees that never knew a forest
C
And it makes me sad
G
And that leads me to this chorus
[chorus]
C F
Everything is digital
C Em G
Everything is digital
We are digital
C F
Everything is digital
The trees are digital
C
Everything is digital
G
Everything is digital

[verse]
I had a sweater once
It was soft and made of wool
That was before I became a vegan
Before everything was digital

Now it's polyester or maybe poly cotton blends
But the cotton that they clothe us in
Is like cotton that pretends
Because
[chorus]
Everything is digital
D-d-d-digital
Everything is digital
You are digital
Everything is digital
D-d-d-digital
Everything is digital
This song is digital
[bridge]
C
Am
G
C Am G
La la la la la la la la la lala
C Am G
La la la la la la la la la lala

[verse]
Oh but oh, you might think I'm crazy
Oh but oh, that's ok
Every generation is sure their time is the most fucked up
The funny thing about my generation is that we're right
[chorus]
Everything is digital
Everything is digital
D-d-digital
Your face is digital
Everything is digital
Shortcake
Song A Day #522
First Singing Note:A
Vocals only
[implied harmonies]
A D
I am baking strawberry shortcake
A
Strawberry shortcake
D
Strawberry shortcake
E D
Won’t you have some strawberry shortcake?
E
Strawberry shortcake
E
Yeahhh
Sunday Evening
Song A Day #523
First Singing Note:A
[intro]
Am
G
E7
Dm
Am
[verse]
Am
Sunday evening 
Forget your troubles
G
You've got rain boots
E7 Dm
Life is puddles
Am
You're getting married
Aw the suit’s been fitted
G
The weight you carry
E7 Dm Am
And the crime’s committed 

[chorus]
C Bb F Ab G
Sunday evening and you're walking proud
C Bb F Ab G Am E
Sunday evening turning everything around 

[verse]
Sunday evening
Say it slowly
Nothing's heavy
Nothing's holy
Crossing midnight
Then the Monday's chatter
It’s a wild fight
To make Sunday matter
[chorus]
Sunday evening and you’re walking proud
Sunday evening and you turn everything around
[instrumental interlude]
Am
G
E7
Dm
[chorus]
Sunday evening and you’re walking proud
Sunday evening and you turn it around
Sunday evening and you’re walking proud
Sunday evening turning everything around
Tuppy Figuerora
Song A Day #524
(Instrumental, No lyrics)
('-' = 1 beat)
[intro]
G#m------------
E----
x4
G#m----
E--
F#--
G#m------------
E----
x3
E--
F#--
G#m----
E--
F#--
B----
x4
B----
G#m----
x4
G#m----
x8 (check rhythm)
B--
F#-
G#m-
E----
[outro]
G#m------------
E----
This is Today’s Song
Song A Day #525
First Singing Note:F
[intro]
F----
F
Gm
Bb
C
[verse]
F Dm
This is today’s song
Bb C F
It’s a lot like yesterday’s song
Dm Gm
A lot like the day before that
C
They all mash together
[chorus]
F Dm
Who writes a song a day?
Bb C
(You write a song a day)
F Dm
Who writes a song a day?
Gm C
(You write a song a day)
[verse]
This is today’s song
We’ll all forget it tomorrow
Someone will like it
And maybe they will favorite it on Youtube
[chorus]
Who writes a song a day?
(You write a song a day)
Who writes a song a day?
(You write a song a day)
[harmony in this section holds on F]
Even when the song is stupid
You should write it anyway
Even when something you do seems stupid
You should do it anyway
[chorus]
Who writes a song a day?
(You write a song a day)
Who writes a song a day?
(You write a song a day)
We are the Jews that Don’t Care about Money
Song A Day #526
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
C
[verse]
C F G C
We're Jews but we don't care about money
F G Am
We'd rather dress up like bunnies
F G C
Than be some corporate whore
F G
(Corporate whore)
C
Yes, we're Jews
F G C
We'll never get real jobs
F G Am
Though it makes our mothers sob
F G C
We'll always be kinda poor

[bridge]
Am
No doctor, no lawyer
F G
No anesthesiologist
Am
No broker no accountant
F G
No chin-scratching psychologist

[verse]
We're Jews
(Jews Jews Jews)
Jews that do what they love
(Love love love)
Damn the consequences 
Like how we can't pay the rent
(Can’t pay the rent)
Yes we're Jews
Without patience or discipline 
No white picket fences
We're incompetent
[bridge]
But if (if if)
You need a massage
Or a catchy jingle
We (we we)
Are the Jews (Jews Jews)
And Sam
Is single

[verse]
We're Jews
With 13 expensive years 
Of higher education between us
And no steady work in sight
We're Jews
To whom money is a minor annoyance
Something fleeting and impermanent 
Not worth one sleepless night
Jewsssss
[outro]
F G F
Jews don’t care about money
G F
Don’t care about money
G F
Don’t care about money
G C
Don’t care about money
JewWario at E3
Song A Day #527
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
Em D Em
JewWario at E3
D Em
At E3
D Em
JewWario at E3
D Em
At E3
[verse]
C D Em
He’s gonna show you the games
G
You wanna see
C D Em G
He’s gonna show you the games
C D Em
JewWario hangin’ out
G
At E3
C D G
Nothin’s ever the same
[outro]
Em D Em
JewWario at E3
D Em
At E3
Em D EM
JewWario at E3
D Em
At E3
The Mermaid of Time
Song A Day #528
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
C
F
Am
[verse]
Am C
Break down in the chain of command
F
We’re all eating fish and the captain’s eating sand
Am
I hear the wind blow
C
I hear the cannon go
F
Boom boom
Em
Boom boom
[chorus]
C Bb F G#
Does anyone know how to save us?
C Bb F C G
Does anyone even care?
C Bb F D
Does anyone know how to save us?
C
Is anyone even there?
C F Am
(Is anyone, is anyone, is anyone there)
C F Am
(Is anyone, is anyone, is anyone there)
[verse]
Up swims a mermaid of time
She’s made up of woman
She’s made up her mind
The ship is pulled down
As the waves pound
Boom boom
Boom boom
[chorus]
Does anyone know how to save us?
Does anyone even care?
Does anyone know how to save us?
Is anyone even there?
(Is anyone even there?)
Is anyone there?
(Is anyone, is anyone, is anyone there)
I Love Bocce Ball
Song A Day #529
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
C Bb F G
I love bocce ball
C Bb F G
Bocce ball keeps me enthralled
C Bb
Throw the pollen
F G
Watch it go
C Bb
Where it’ll stop
F G
Nobody knows!
[chorus]
Am G
Bocce ball
Am G
Bocce ball
G C
Bocce ball
Zombie Ponies
Song #52
First note sung: F
Bbm-------Ab-------Gb-------F-------
Bbm Ab
Once upon a time there were ponies and all the ponies died
Gb F
And at the stroke of midnight, zombie ponies ride
Bbm Ab Gb F
Zombie, zombie pony, zombie pony, zombie pony X2
Bbm
Oh yeah!
2007 Honda Civic: It’ll Get You There
Song A Day #530
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
D G
This is my Honda
D
It’s a Honda Civic
Em C
2007 Model
G
It’s got five seatbelts
Whoa
D
And a horn you can honk
Em C
It isn’t anything special
(no no no)
G
It’s got cup holders here (wow)
D
And headrests here (cool)
Em C
Look you can take them out (amazing)
G
Lots of trunk space (big)
D
Just look at that engine (strong)
Em C
And it goes quite fast, without a doubt
G
Honda Civic, yeah
[verse]
It may not be much to look at
But she gets me where I need to go
To the grocery store for instance
Or maybe just for a drive
[verse:harmonic rhythm doubled for remainder of song]
(2 beats per chord change, rather than 4)
Honda Civic is just a car
No more, no less
But that’s the bar it sets
Tis what it is
What you see is what you get
When you drive a Honda Civic
You’re saying is “I don’t care
She may not look like much, ok
But it gets me there.”
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Gets me there
Honda Civic
Anywhere you wanna go
Honda Civic
Any way you wanna go
Honda Civic
She may not look like much
Honda Civic
But she’ll take you there
Honda Civic
[ending]
C
Honda Civic
G
Yeah
One Minute Autobiography in Song
Song A Day #531
First Singing Note:F#
[intro:guitar]
D----
A--
D
Born in Vermont in 1982
A D
Grew up in a small town there
G D
Started playing guitar when I was 12 years old
A
And growing out my hair
D
Never did drugs
A D
Lost my virginity May 10th, 1996
D A
Left high school one semester early
To get my college kicks
G D A
When I was 17 I went to Israel
G D A
I spent 4 awesome years at Bennington College
B G
I got my Masters degree at Cal Arts
B G
Where I wrote a rock opera about the Super Mario Bros.
B G 
And then I created GameJew
A
Oh yeah
A
Now I write a song a day
And I live in Berkeley
Wrong Way
Song A Day #532
First Singing Note:D
[intro]
D
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
Em
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
D
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
Em
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
[verse]
D
Everybody tells you
Em
You’re going the wrong way
D
But you keep going
Em
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
[verse]
Everyone’s against you
You hear it in the words they say
And that’s worth knowing
Dom dom riggy diggy dom dom
[outro: instrumental]
D----
Em----
D----
Em----
A Boy from Kentucky and his Fire-Breathing Cat
Song A Day #533
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
C ---- F ---- Am ----Gm ---- Bb
F
C
Eb
Bb
[verse]
F C
I knew a boy who lived in Kentucky
Cm Gm
With his fire-breathing cat
F
Nobody loved him
C
Nobody hugged him
Cm Gm
He was ridiculed and laughed at
Cm Bb
Everybody was afraid of him
Gm Ab
And the cat that burned
Cm Bb
But the boy didn't care at all
Gm Ab
He was unconcerned

[verse]
One day Kentucky 
Had had enough
They were out for blood
When the boy tried to stop them
They threw him down in the mud
They took the cat to Washington
For experimentation
The people fear what they don't understand
And they want explanations 

[instrumental] x2
F
Eb
Cm
[verse]
The boy trained for years and years
And when he was at his peak
He went to Washington and took his cat back
Leaving whole armies in defeat
The cat had learned 
The miracle of flight
They flew to the highest mountain
Where it's said they live to this day
Among unicorns and dragons
I Want to Boogie with You
Song A Day #534
First Singing Note:A
[intro]
F G Am
F G Am
F G Am Bb
F G C
[verse]
F C Am
Come down off of the cross, babe
G
And let’s get busy
F C G
I want to boogie with you
F C
No more night clubs
Am G
No more sweet surprises
F C G
I want to boogie with you
[pre-chorus]
Am C
Show me how you do it
G
And we’ll do it again
Am C
Show me how you do it
G
And we’ll do it again
[chorus]
C G
Elephants and shooting stars
Am F
And boys on trains and girls in bars
C G
Hope on wheels tranny fags
Am F
Oil gush and plastic bags
C G 
Sally's singing for her daily bread
Am F
Fred's only thinking about Fred
C G
Jerry got caught under a bus
Am F
No one will remember any of us
[intro chord progression]
[verse]
Put down your computer
And let’s get busy
I want to boogie with you
I am from the future
So let’s get busy
I want to boogie with you
[pre-chorus]
Show me how you do it
And we’ll do it again
Show me how you do it
And we’ll do it again
[chorus]
Elephants and shooting stars
And boys on trains and girls in bars
Hope on wheels tranny fags
Oil gush and plastic bags 
Sally's singing for her daily bread
Fred's only thinking about Fred
Jerry got caught under a bus
No one will remember any of us
[instrumental] x2
C ---- G ---- F ---- E
[bridge]
F C Am
Stop pretending you work at
G
American Apparel
F C G
I want to boogie with you
F C Am
You don’t have anything
G
To be afraid of
F C G
I want to boogie with you
[pre-chorus]
I want to boogie with you
Like Lou Reed
I want to boogie with you
Like Lou Reed
[chorus]
Elephants and shooting stars
And boys on trains and girls in bars
Hope on wheels tranny fags
Oil gush and plastic bags 
Sally's singing for her daily bread
Fred's only thinking about Fred
Jerry got caught under a bus
No one will remember any of us
No one will remember any of us
No one will remember any of us
No one will remember any of us
Mr. Everyman Pirate Packs a Car
Song A Day #535
First Singing Note:D
[verse 1]
D
Arghhhh
D
A pirate’s life for me
G D
A pirate’s life for me
G D
My servant packs the car
A
While I sit beneath this tree
D
I eat a Klondike bar
G D
While my servant packs the car
Arghhhh
G D A D
I make him sing a song for me, for me
G D A D
I make him sing a song for me, for me
[verse 2]
D
Mic check
Here we go
A
I gotta pack the car
G A
While Mr. Pirate sits there with a Klondike bar
Arghhh
D
He makes me sing while I work
A
I got no words so far
G
I know!
I’ll list the things
I pack into the car
A
Go!
D
Green tape
Ukulele
A
And a small amp
Arghhhh
G
Big bowl
T.P. Roll
A
And a small lamp
Booty!
D
Microphone
Telephone
A
Boxes
Boxes
Arghhhh, yeah
G
Blankets
;Pillows
A
A variety of rocks-es
D
A vacuum
A bucket
Ooooh
A
An old chandelier
G
A mannequin
A tool box
A
Big black sphere
Arghhhh
D
Printer
Bass guitar
A
Broken scooter
Grrrrrr
G
Two by Four
Window
A
Laptop computer
D A
A metal crown
G
Sleeping bag
An old T.V.
A D
A dirty rag
Rag!
A
Accordion
G
Picture frame
A keyboard and
A D
An old chess game
A G
I’m not working for the pirate anymore
A
Arghhhh??
D A
I’m commandeering this car
G
I’m gonna go far
A D
Me and my Klondike bar
A Short Song About Nothing in Particular
Song A Day #536
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
D
A short song
C F
About nothing in particular
Here I go
Bb
Just singing some words
D C
No meaning beyond the obvious one
F Bb
That I'm singing a song about song yeah
[chorus]
D
Gotta go gotta go right now
C
Gotta go gotta go right now
F Bb
A song about nothing in particular
[chorus]
Gotta go gotta go right now
Gotta go gotta go right now
A short song about nothing in particular
[verse]
A short song about nothing in particular
On the move 
Words flowing freely
Steam meanings drift away
Lift the neighbors, walls start
Shaking
[chorus]
Gotta go gotta go right now
Gotta go gotta go right now
A short song about nothing in particular
Gotta go gotta go right now
Gotta go gotta go right now
A short song about nothing in particular
[bridge]
D C
D Bb C
[chorus]
Gotta go gotta go right now
Gotta go gotta go right now
A short song about nothing in particular
Gotta go gotta go right now
Gotta go gotta go right now
A short song about nothing in particularrrrr
I Like it When My Friends Eat the Things I Bake
Song A Day #537
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C
I’m making cinnamon rolls
I’m making cinnamon buns
Am (F here in second verse)
I wanna share them with my friends
C
I like it when they eat the things I make
Am F
I like it when they eat the things I bake
[instrumental]
F Am G
I said
[verse]
I like it when they eat the things I make
I like it when they eat the things I bake
I really like it when they eat the things I make
I really like it when they eat the-
C
Boom boom
Boom boom
Bah
Simply Dissonant
Song A Day #538
First Singing Note:#F
D G
Are you listenin’
A G
Simply dissonant
D G
Simply dissonant
A G
Simply dissonant
Destruction
Song A Day #539
(No lyrics, instrumental)
(Harmony primarily rests on A)
[x4]
A --------
F#m----
E ----
Geriatrics in Drag
Song #53
First note sung: A
Dm-------G-------
X2
Am Dm Em
Deep within the nursing home things are getting out of hand
Dm
There’s a seedy underbelly
Am Dm
Pants and coming off, dentures flying everywhere
Em Dm
Fixodent mixed with KY Jelly
Dm C
I know it can be hard to understand it
Geriatrics in drag
Dm C
You really got to hand it to them
G
Geriatrics in drag
Am Dm Em Dm
Geriatrics in drag
X4
Jonathan’s New Ringtone
Song A Day #540
First Singing Note:E
[verse-A]
E
Jonathan your phone is ringing
A C#m
Yeah yeah
E
Pick it up now and stop your singing
A C#m
Stop your singing
E
Who’s on the other end calling?
A C#m
Whoooo?
E
Pick it up now and holla holla
A C#m
Hollllllaaaa
[verse-B]
E
Jonathan, pick up the phone
A
Maybe it’s the future
Or a psycho
E
Maybe it’s a flood
Or an earthquake
A
Or maybe you’re asleep and it’s awake
E
Call, anyway pick up
A
Because soon now your time will be up
[verse-A]
Jonathan your phone is ringing
Yeah yeah
Pick it up now and stop your singing
Stop your singing
Who’s on the other end calling?
Whoooooooo?
Steve Jobs’s Head
Song A Day #541
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
F C Bb F
I want to know what's in Steve Jobs' mind
F C Bb F
What's he thinking about most of the time?
F C Bb F
The answer seems obvious and yet I think it's wrong
F C Bb F
After all it's probably like that old Dylan song
[chorus]
F
If his thought trains
C
Could be seen
Bb C Bb F
They’d probably put his head into a guillotine
F
If his thought trains
C
Could be seen
Bb C Bb F
We’d probably put his head into a guillotine

[verse]
Does Steve Jobs have the answers to interstellar flight?
Is cold fusion just something that he figured out one night?
Does he think a lot about what it’s all worth?
Does he think at all about being ruler of the earth?
[chorus]
Oh, if his thought trains
Could be seen
They’d probably put his head into a guillotine
If his thought trains
Could be seen
We’d probably put his head into a guillotine

[bridge]
F C
I'm so fascinated by Steve Jobs
D Bb
You might say obsessed
F C D Bb
So rarely does one exist that clearly is the best
F
He's the best at what he does
C D
Though I can hardly define
Bb F
What it is and what he has
C D Bb 
In that mind that blows my mind
[instrumental]
F C D Bb
F C D Bb
F C D
Steve Jobs
Bb
Steve Jobs
F C D
Stev Jobs
Bb
Steve Jobs
[chorus]
And if his thought trains
Could be seen
They’d probably put his head into the guillotine
If his thought trains
Could be seen
We’d probably put his head into the guillotine
I Wanna Be a Gastropod Mollusc
Song A Day #542
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
Dm
Big slug
C Dm
In the middle of the road
Dm
Big slug
C Gm
Sluggin’ along slow
Dm
Big slug
C Dm
Size of my foot
D
Big slug
C Bb C
Never stay put
[verse]
Big slug
Sparkle in the sun
Big slug
He’s all on the run
Big slug
Antennae out
Big slug
Moving all about
[instrumental]
(Same chor progression as verse)
[verse]
Big slug
Wanna be like you
Big slug
Big as my shoe
Go real slow
Not know where I’m crawlin’
I wanna be a Gastropod Mollusc
Bb Dm
I wanna be, be a Gastropod Mollusc
Let’s Get Along
Song A Day #543
First Singing Note:G#
[intro] x2
E F#m A E
[verse]
E F#m
Sisters and brothers
A E
Mothers and fathers
E F#m
Ourselves and others, oh
A E
Let’s get along
E F#m
Everybody over here
A E
Everybody over there
E F#m
Everybody everywhere, oh
A E
Let’s get along
[chorus]
A E B C# B
Let’s get along
A B E
Let’s get along
[verse]
When you’re feeling up
When you’re feeling down
When your feet are on the ground
Let’s get along
On holidays
On Saturdays
No matter what anybody says
Let’s get it on
[chorus]
I said let’s get it on
Let’s get along
Let’s get it on
Let’s get along (E7)
[bridge]
B7
When you get along
A C#m B
The world is smiling
B7
When you get along
A C#m B
Good feelings are piling
B7
When you get along
A C#m B
The river will carry you
B7
And when you get along
A C#m B A B
Nothing can bury youuuuuuu
[verse]
After a game
After a meal
No matter what you feel
Let’s get along
The twilight
On the dark side
Even when you’re full of pride
Let’s get it on
[chorus]
Let’s get along
Let’s get along
Let’s get along
Let’s get along
And He Kissed Her
Song A Day #544
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
F
There once was a boy
C Dm
Who loved a girl
Gm Dm C
He pushed her on the swing set
F
He picked her flowers
C Dm
And he sang her songs
Gm Dm
But still
C F
She wouldn’t let him kiss her
[instrumental]
Gm Bb C
[chorus]
F
Then he kissed her
Gm
The he kissed her
Bb C
And he kissed her
Shake Weight Jingle Contest
Song A Day #545
First Singing Note:F
[intro]
F
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake shake
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake shake
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake shake
Shake shake shake, shake shake shake shake
[chorus]
F
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Dm C
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Bb
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Dm C
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
[Verse]
F
When you've tried all you can think of
Dm C
To get the tone you want
Bb
In your upper body muscles
Dm C
For a body you can flaunt
F
You're searching for that miracle
Dm C
To just shake the flab away
Bb
With the Shake Weight you can do it
Dm C
In just six minutes a day

[bridge]
Bb
With the Shake Weight
Watch your body bloom
Dm C
Shake shake shake
And then boom!
Bb
Shake Weight
You'll feel alive
Dm C Bb
You'll want to give yourself a high five!
High five!
[chorus]
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Shake shake shake, with the Shake Weight
Yeah
Tap-N-Give
Song A Day #546
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
F
When you tap-n-give
Bb
You help a puppy live
C
You help those in need
Dm
In Haiti
F Bb
You help children and their families
You can
C F C
If you just tap-n-give
[chorus]
C Bb
You can tap-n-give
F
On your iPhone
Dm C Bb
You tap-n-give
F
Share with everyone you know
Dm C Bb
You tap-n-give
F
To the charities who need
Dm C Bb
You tap-n-give
C C7
To be the best you can be
[verse]
Well when you give-n-tap
It’s an iPhone app
To spread the word on charity
You get these wallpapers
When you give the dollars
So won’t you just tap-n-give
[chorus]
Oh you tap-n-give
On your iPhone
You tap-n-give
Share with everyone you know
You tap-n-give
To the charities who need
You tap-n-give
To be the best you can be
Oh tap-n-give
[ending]
Dm Dm F
Give give give
Let’s All Take a Trip
Song A Day #547
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
F C
F C
[verse]
F C
Let’s all take a trip
F C
Let’s shoot it right from the hip
F C
Teeter on the brink of obscurity
F
And the ribbons of the highway
C
Were lost at sea
F C
And I’m in love with you
F C
And you’re in love with me, too
F
Drifting in the space
C
It’s a mystery
F
Give and take, kiss
C
It’s a gift to me
F C
So we’re going for a ride
F C
Up and down the other side
F C
Going rolling on and on and one two three
F
I look at you
C
And you look at me
[verse chord progression continued]
So let’s all take a trip
Shoot it right from the hip
Throwing rocks down the well
Til they make a splash
You are June Carter
And I’m Johnny Cash
So let’s all take a trip
Let’s all take a trip
I said let’s all take a trip
Let’s all take a trip
Let’s All Take a Trip
Song A Day #547
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
F C
F C
[verse]
F C
Let’s all take a trip
F C
Let’s shoot it right from the hip
F C
Teeter on the brink of obscurity
F
And the ribbons of the highway
C
Were lost at sea
F C
And I’m in love with you
F C
And you’re in love with me, too
F
Drifting in the space
C
It’s a mystery
F
Give and take, kiss
C
It’s a gift to me
F C
So we’re going for a ride
F C
Up and down the other side
F C
Going rolling on and on and one two three
F
I look at you
C
And you look at me
[verse chord progression continued]
So let’s all take a trip
Shoot it right from the hip
Throwing rocks down the well
Til they make a splash
You are June Carter
And I’m Johnny Cash
So let’s all take a trip
Let’s all take a trip
I said let’s all take a trip
Let’s all take a trip
Bones Come to Life
Song A Day #548
First Singing Note:E
[intro] x2
C#m
B
A#dim
[verse]
C#m B A#dim
I was just a boy when they came
C#m B A#dim
Turned me inside out into the rain
B D# E
Ghosts wandering on and on
B D# E
Go find where you belong

[verse]
I ran uphill until I saw it all
Who was there then I never saw at all
Gone are the days of quiet, quiet life
Gonna tell the secret that I know what it's like
[verse]
Bones in the ground, bones on the stairs
Let your guard down, and there’s bones everywhere
Bones in the morning light by the lake
Bones come to life when you pray your soul to take
[instrumental]
B G#m F#m E G#m F#m
[bridge]
G#m F#m
Ooooooh ooh ohh
G#m F#m D#
Ooooooh ooh ohh
[instrumental]
C#m B A#dim
B F#m
[verse]
Never never let them tell you who you are
Way down deep inside you, you don't have to look so far
Boiling over and spilling on the stove
Sing as you remember and sing as you grow
[bridge]
Ooooooh ooh ohh
Ooooooh ooh ohh
Ooooooh ooh ohh
Ooooooh ooh ohh
You Are Defined By the People Around You
Song A Day #549
First Singing Note: A
[verse]
A E F#m D
You are defined by the people around you
A E F#m D
It’s not hard to find borders and schisms
A E F#m D
Corners, gaps, the membranes impenetrable
A E F#m D A
The house brick by brick, so empty it’s full
E F#m D A
The cellular automata that break all the rules
E F#m D A
The quantum mechanics that rule all the quarks
E F#m D
The limbs you go out on to get a response
[verse]
You are defined by the people around you
It’s not hard to find the waves and the patterns
The thoughts, the feelings, the memories inexorable
The minds so complete, they never find each other
The bees that are dancing, and the ants that leave pheromones
The dog that is talking to the duck with the fallopian tubes
That twist and contract to keep out a rapist
[verse]
You are defined by the people around you
It’s not hard to find the change and the crazy
The pendulum cut from one piece of matter and the
Chaos and order machines and living
Flesh on the bone and the sounds of the summer
The grass never growing, the desert succumbing
The breast of the girl that heaves for the soldier
[chorus:same chord progression as verse]
You are defined by the people around you
You are defined by the people around you
You are defined by the people around you
You are defined by the people around you
BIG FACE small face
Song #55
First note sung: A#
F#
Hey, my face is really big
My face is really big
Hey, my face is really big
C#
My face is really small
F# A#m B C#
Sometimes your face is big
F# A#m B C#
Sometimes your face is small
F# A#m B C#
The trick is to know which is which
F# A#m B C#
And you will be powerful
D#m
Big face (kookoo kachoo)
C#
Small face (kookoo kachoo)
D#m
Big face (kookoo kachoo)
G#m C#
Small face (kookoo kachoo)
F# A#m B C#
Sometimes your face can be big
F# A#m B C#
Sometimes your face can be small
F# A#m B C#
The trick is to know which is which
F# A#m B C#
And then you’ll be powerful
For My Friend Jessica’s Mom’s Birthday
Song #58
First note sung: C
C Dm F G
Marilyn Langlois was born in El Serido
C Dm F G
Marilyn Langlois grew up in the Bay
C Dm F G
Marilyn Langlois, I think she’s really neato
C Dm F G
Marilyn Langlois, today is her birthday
Am G
Her favorite color is green
F
She speaks five languages
C G
Is a radical activist and a mother of two
Am G
She loves taking hikes
F
Is learning to grow vegetables, vegetables
C G
And she works for the mayor of Richmond
C Dm F G
Marilyn Langlois x3
C
Yeah
Shamus and Precious
Song #59
First note sung: B
Bm-------F#-------
2X
Bm F#
Shamus and Precious, why you gotta slap each other?
Bm
You should be hugging
F#
You should hugging one another
Bm F#
Precious has a scar that’s healing from a knife fight that she got in last year
Bm
Shamus seen his father
F#
He’s in prison and I’ll never see him again
Bm F#
Shamus and Precious, why you slapping each other?
G
You should be hugging
F#
You should be ??? another
Bm
Precious, oh
Bm
Shamus, oh
F#
Shamus and Precious, oh
Bm
Precious, oh
Shamus, oh
F#
Shamus and Precious, oh yeah
Our House
Song #59
First note sung: C
F
You got the Mario opera poster from years ago
B/F
Got the accordion, guitars, and the banjo
Bb
Got the green screen in the living room
C Gm
Got a green screen here in my room too
F
Got the blue light fixture that Ivory made
B/F
Got the big metal sculpture acting as a lampshade
Bb
Got the bikes hanging down in the living room
C Gm
Two wheeled friends
F
Got the NES and the SNES and my room’s a mess
B/F
360 and the Wii, I’m too poor for Sony
Bb
Got the books, mostly Ivory’s but some are mine
C Gm
Got Joey’s room, two bathrooms, empty bottles of wine
F
Ivory’s clouds up on the wall
B/F
Some spider plants and puppets make a jungle
Bb C Gm
It’s a nice place to live especially because it’s me, Joey, and Ivory
F B/F
This is how we do it at 2100 California
Bb C Gm
We have a good time at 2100 California
F B/F
This is how we do it
Bb
This is how we do it
C Gm
We have a good time here
F
The Duke Nukem Forever Song
Song A Day #611
F#min
Some call it vapor
Some call it a fluke
Bmin
Some call it crazy
I call it the Duke
C#7
Duke Nukem
F#min
Duke Nukem forever
Back in ’97 they announced the game
Here in 2010 thy released the thing
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem forever
Bmin
On the first day of PAX
C#7
Well 2K gave to us
F#min
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem
Oh with aliens to shoot
And it’s playable to boot
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem
It’s like seeing the ghost of a friend so dead
They’d just about been erased from your head
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem forever
Here he is, no mystery
The most legendary vaporwear in history
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem forever
On the first day of PAX
Well 2k gave to us
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem
Oh with aliens to shoot
And it’s playable to boot
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem
La di die di die
La di die di die
La di doe di doe
Duke Nuke foreve
Duke-uke-duke-duke
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem forever
Well some call it vapor
Some call it a fluke
Some call it crazy
Some call it the Duke
Duke Nukem
Duke Nukem forever
Storefronts
Song A Day #612
Gmaj Dmaj
What follows is a list
Amin
Of everything
Cmaj Dmaj
That makes me feel loneliness
What follows is a list
Of everything
That makes me feel loneliness
Abandoned storefronts
And painted signs
Empty and sprawling
Space lost to time
Wild meadows
With no human touch
I love being there
But it hurts me so much
Beautiful paintings
Like Cezanne or Dali
Through endless landscapes
A voice is calling
“Follow me
Follow me
Follow me
Follow me-e-e

The Giantesses Wish
Song A Day #613
Ebmin Dbmaj
I am a giant
In a world of ants
I wonder about
Abmaj
Just looking for love
Alone up here
With clouds I dance
On all that happiness
I look down from above
I’m so depressed
Oh with no one to love
I am a giant
With no giantess
Birds and planes and sky
Are my friends
But put them all together
And they add up to less
Than my heart’s desire
A garden to tend
A garden, oh a woman
Oh to have and to hold
I am a giant
With no place to sleep
Just like a shark
I keep moving on
But I’m not mean
Like a shark
I weep for the pain
That I feel
In my heart’s only song
Where am I going?
Where have I been?
I am a giantess
I come from the south
I’ve wandered here looking
For someone to love
Kiss me now on the mouth
As we see all the happiness
From way up above
Now we are one
Now we have fun
Deer in the Woods, I Love You
Song A Day #614
Fmaj
There’s a deer
Amin
In the woods
Bbmaj Cmaj
She’s afraid of me-e-e
I wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend
Cmaj Bbmaj
If I came here every day
Dmin
And just sat near you
Would you get used to me?
And let me hug you?
Fmaj Bbmaj Fmaj
Deer in the woods
Cmaj
(In the woods)
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
I know you
Must protect
Your two little baby fawns
But I wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend
If I fed you some yummy food
(Some hayyyy)
If I told you that I loved you
Would you understand?
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
Amin Cmaj
Humans and animals
Gmin
They’re separated
(They’re separated)
But now the situation is desperated
(Desperated)
Dmin Amin Gmin
If we can find our way back home
(Way back home)
Then it’ll be time
Cmaj
To say goodbye, oh
Mrs. Deer
I’ll be here
And I’ll watch you from afar
I wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your friend
Someday you’ll realize
I mean you no harm
And you’ll inspire me
To start a farm
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
Deer in the woods
(In the woods)
I’m Going to the Dentist Again
Song A Day #615
Cmaj Amin
I’m going to the dentist again
Dmin Gmaj
Gonna get my cavity filled
Cmaj Dmin
I’m going to the dentist again
Emin Gmaj
Gonna get my cavity filled
Amin Gmaj Fmaj E7
I hope they knock me out with the gas
So it feels like it goes real fast, oh
I hope they knock me out with the gas
So it goes real real fast, oh
Burn the Quoran (The Song)
Song A Day #616
If Jesus were alive today
He’d take a look at the world
And he would say
“Remember all the stuff
About love and forgiveness?
Yeah I changed my mind
So let’s get down to business”
“It’s all about hate of those
That are different than you
And fear, a fear
Of anything new
If it’s strange then you should kill it
I’m the son of God
And that’s my will
Let’s burn the Koran
(Let’s burn the Koran)
Let’s kill every Muslim
(Let’s kill every Muslim)
It’s a mighty good plan
(It’s a mighty good plan)
God wants us to
(God wants us to)
Let’s burn the Koran
(Let’s burn the Koran)
And teach ‘em a lesson
(Teach ‘em a lesson)
Feel the hand of God
Smite them down
Oooh ooh ooh”
Last time I checked
This was America
And I have the right
To burn what I want
Is Islam even a religion anyway?
They don’t count Jesus
And those ropes are kind of gay
Cuz they’re all terrorists
And they wanna kill us
Our freedom to shop
And we’re free to burn books
Read the Bible
There’s only one God
And they don’t got him
They don’t got him at all
Let’s burn the Koran
(Let’s burn the Koran)
Let’s kill every Muslim
(Let’s kill every Muslim)
Oh it’s a mighty good plan
(It’s a mighty good plan)
God wants us to
(God wants us to)
Let’s burn the Koran
(Let’s burn the Koran)
It’ll teach ‘em a lesson
(Teach ‘em a lesson)
Feel the hand of God
Smite them down
Oooh ooh ooh”
Hate speaks louder than love
Look in our logo, a dove
The dove means death from above
If you don’t believe
What we believe
Then you are covered in sin
But we aren’t inviting you in
And you will never be forgiven
It’s blasphemous
It’s blasphemous
When Jesus returns for Judgment Day
He’ll see what we’ve done
And he’ll whisk us away
Forty virgins for every guy
And that great big Wal-Mart in the sky
And you
Well you’re going to hell
If you’re gay, black, or brown
Or I just can’t tell
If you don’t look like me
If you don’t believe
What I believe
I’ll burn your Korans
(Let’s burn the Koran)
Kill every Muslim
(Let’s kill every Muslim)
It’s a mighty good plan
(It’s a mighty good plan)
God wants us to
(God wants us to)
We’ll burn the Koran
(We’ll burn the Koran)
And teach ‘em a lesson
(Teach ‘em a lesson)
Feel the hand of God
Smite them down
Oooh ooh ooh”
The Strange Case of the Hello Farm
Song A Day #617
Cmaj
There was a lady
Fmaj
She had a farm
Gmaj Cmaj
With lots of different animals that she loved
Fmaj
But these animals
Amin
They were not normal
Gmaj
They all sounded exactly the same
Cmaj
So the cow said “hello”
And the pig said “hello”
Fmaj
And the duck said “hello”
And the rabbit said “hello”
Gmaj
And the goose said “hello”
And the sheep said “hello”
Amin
And the goat said “hello”
And the horse said “hello”
And the hippo said “hello”
And the tiger said “hello”
And the ostrich “hello”
And the tortoise “hello”
And the T-rex “hello”
And the lemur “’hello”
And the house cat “hello”
And the monkey “hello”
Facebook Memories
Song A Day #618
Dmin
Memories
Cmaj
So many years go by
Dmin
Can it be
Gmin
It all happened but you
Don’t know why
Dmin
Facebook in the past
A fleeting glimpse of who you were
And nothing ever lasts
Was it you, can you be sure?
And time cuts you off
From all those things you did
Gmin
The feeling slips away
Dmin
But the record lives
Fmaj Cmaj Bbmaj
When you go back in time
There’s a feeling you find
On the screen, in your mind
Cut out the sadness
Cut out the bad days
And what you’re left with
Is love and always
Love and always
Ooooh ah ooh
Love and always
Ooooh ah ooh
Love and always
Ooooh ah ooh
Love and always
Dmin
Tell me what you see
Cmaj
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you see
I was livin in L.A.
Barely getting by
She picked me up at a party
Said “baby you’re my guy”
Fmaj
I was laying in the grass
Talking on the telephone
Bbmaj
I was living in the past
Alone and not alone
Fmaj
And she was making darts
And she made a perfect one
Cmaj
And that’s just how it starts
Underneath the summer sun
Underneath the summer sun
Underneath the summer sun
Underneath the summer sun
Underneath the summer
Bbmaj
Underneath the summer sun
When you go back in time
There’s a feeling you find
On the screen, in your mind
Cut out the sadness
Cut out the bad days
And what you’re left with
Is love and always
Oooh oh ah ohh
Love and always
Oooh oh ah ohh
Love and always
Oooh oh ah ohh
Love and always
Oooh oh ah ohh
Love and always
The Ballad of Terry Jones and His Syndicated Bigoted Buffoonery
Song A Day #619
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Terry Jones backed down
Amin Gmaj
Decided not to burn the Koran
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj Cmaj
And you could look at this and say
“What’s your deal?
This is a selfish plan”
Dmin
To play the media
Amin
Bring attention to his cause
Gmaj
But regardless of what you think
Fmaj Gmaj
His hatred and intolerance is real
Cmaj Fmaj Dmin Gmaj
Every day we are getting closer to
Amin Gmaj Fmaj
Some kind of explosion
Folks like Terry Jones will be responsible
Whether he believes half of what he says
Fmaj Gmaj
The feelings are there
Terry Jones, Glenn Beck
The words they use are full of sparks
A country is a tinderbox
And their fire will explode the dark
People are pissed off
And rightfully so
But because they’re obsessed with race or religion
They’re missing the point
And so every day we are getting closer
To some kind of explosion
And folks like Terry Jones
Will be responsible
Whether he believes half of what he says
The feelings are there
Emaj
Now, I’m not saying
Gmaj
That I have all the answers
Amin
But if you want to make a difference
Gmaj
It’s in the choices
In the choices
Emin
In the choices
In the choices
Amaj
That you make
Terry Jones quotes the Bible
But the Bible’s just a book
And it’s full of contradictions
And it’s how you choose to read it
That creates your convictions
Uh huh
I say Jesus would have never wanted this
Your grandstanding
And your red faces
And your clinched fists
So every day we are getting closer
To some kind of explosion
And folks like Terry Jones
Will be responsible
Whether he believes half of what he says
The feelings are there
The feelings are there
Knock Knock
Song #61
First note sung: D
Dm---------------Gm---------------
Dm
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Nobody’s there
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A body’s there
Gm
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
An apple not a pear
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Circle not a square
Dm
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Tea that was traded fair
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A pile of underwear
Gm
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A monkey with an evil stare
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A girl with long black hair
Dm Em
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock
Dm
The End of the World Dance
Song A Day #620
Dmaj Gmaj
I dreamt that waves of empty parking lots
Amaj
Were suddenly filled with blood
Out of rotting supermarkets
Lines of dancing food
Bmin Gmaj
Kittens purred
Bmin Amaj
A tornado stirred
Dmaj Amaj
And no one knew what to do
The rain was splashing down
On the hoods of abandoned cars
A man with baggy jeans
Stood repeating the word “guitar”
Lightning struck him
He became tur-duck-en
And no one
Knew what to do
Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
Bmin Gmaj
When all the snowmen melt
Bmin Amaj
And the sun leaves gaping welts
Dmaj Amaj Dmaj
And no one knows what to do
Dairy cows kill farmers
Pigs eat human flesh
When asked if they enjoy it
They answer more or less
And explosion, a sigh
An archangel in the sky
And no one knew what to do
Jesus cam and said “yep
It’s all according to plan
Four horsemen were there
Singing songs
Written by Jonathan Mann
Aliens watched
Sipping 20-year old scotch
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
When the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
A pile of men was burning
In the middle of a field
Another pile of men
Was using the first pile as a shield
Bitter bold
Thunder rolled
And no one knew what to do
Some hid under rocks
Some hid underground
As the ocean riding tide
And the waves began to pound
Sky fell
The earth swelled
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
When the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
Computers came to life
And started taking over
I saw a man get sucked
Into a leaf blower
Sirens wailed
The internet failed
And no one knew what to do
Religious wars all ended
And everyone got along
The melody of Armageddon
Was their dying song
Horses neighed
The band played
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
When the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
Hell was filling up
And heaven overflowed
Neither of them were built
To carry such a load
Out of space
The human race
And no one knew what to do
Bodies floating freely
Out among the stars
Winter vines and hydrogen cells
Mixed with electric cars
Nowhere to go
With your family in tow
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
And the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
Pumpkins and bananas fought
On the steps of Capitol Hill
A police officer came up
As his guts began to spill
Banana won
And he set off towards the sun
And no one knew what to do
Animals and machines
Started mating wildly
Mechanized rhinoceroses
To put it mildly
Robo-giraffe
Mecha-hyena laugh
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
When the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
Well I toiled in the bank vault
But my heart was in a storm
Though each limb was cold
My center was still warm
I felt her touch
She popped the clutch
And no one knew what to do
Riding in the backseat
I slept until I woke
The air was hot and stuffy
Dark and filled with smoke
My home was gone
The road stretched on
And no one knew what to do
It’s the end of the world dance
The apocalyptic romance
When all the snowmen melt
When the sun leaves gaping welts
And no one knows what to do
The Google Instant Song
Song A Day #621
Fmaj Cmaj
Google Instant is a symptom
Bbmaj Fmaj
Of our modern life
Master blaster, faster faster
Reach the speed of light
Dmin
Karate chop
Cmaj
Narbacular drop
Bbmaj
Houdou
Cmaj
And ker pow
Fmaj Cmaj
It’s getting late
Bbmaj Fmaj
Don’t wanna wait
I want the answer now
It’s getting late
Don’t wanna wait
I want the answer now
Fmaj Cmaj
Google Instant
Dmin Bbmaj
Fast as you can type
Blink and you might miss it
Your entire life
Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google
The internet
Is Bob Fett
It’s you it will depose
Unlock the cage
And disengage
And stop and smell a rose
Let’s build a fort
‘Cause life is short
You’re dead before you know
It’s sad, oh gee
What I’d love to see
Is Google slow
It’s sad, oh gee
What I’d love to see
Is Googleeeee slowwww
I get lost
Sometimes inside the tubes
Checking stats
Looking at cats
Porn
And pwning noobs
Now there’s Google Instant
And it’s fast as you can type
If you blink then you might miss it
Your entire life
Bbmaj Fmaj
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
Questions for Coco
Song A Day #622
Dmaj Bmin Gmaj
Coco you’re a tall, handsome Irishman
F#min Amaj
Do you ever get sick of the attention?
Dmaj Bmin Gmaj
Do you ever think about revenge
Dmaj Gmaj Amaj
On those that have done you wrong?
Dmaj Gmaj
Coco, Coco
Bmin Amaj
Conan O’Brien, oh
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Will you bring back Jonathan Richman
As the musical guest
He is my favorite man
I guess that’s it for my questions
I don’t want this song to be too long
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Gmaj
One more thing
Amaj Dmaj
I went to school with Nell
Questions for Coco
Song A Day #622
Coco you’re a tall, handsome Irishman
Do you ever get sick of the attention?
Do you ever think about revenge
On those that have done you wrong?
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Will you bring back Jonathan Richman
As the musical guest
He is my favorite man
I guess that’s it for my questions
I don’t want this song to be too long
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
Coco, Coco
Conan O’Brien, oh
One more thing
I went to school with Nell
Tell Me Why
Song A Day #624
Fmaj
Tell me why, when I fall
Would the world wanna catch me?
Dmin
I’m not an animal anymore
Tell me why, in the sun
I can look and lose my hearing
I’m not afraid of anything
I was a man, was a man
In the morning
Then I changed
I’m sorry
I turned around, turned around
And I saw you
In the light
Very clearly
Fmaj Bbmaj Fmaj
Please mister, please mister
Gmin Fmaj
I don’t even know
Dmin
If my head’s on straight
Whoa baby, hey baby
I can’t get used to the changes
In my way
Tell me why
(Tell me why, tell me why)
Tell me why it’s gotta be that way
(Tell me why, tell me why)
(Tell me why, tell me why)
Tell me why
(Tell me why, tell me why)
(Tell me why, tell me why)
Why it’s gotta be that way
(Tell me why, tell me why)
(Tell me why, tell me why)
Yeah yeah
I was a man, was a man
In the morning
Then I changed
And I’m sorry
When it Rains it Pours
Song A Day #625
Cmaj Amaj
When it rains, it pours
Gmaj Dmaj
And all that means is that
Sometimes you’re hungry
And sometimes you have too much food
Auto-Tune the Bronado
Song A Day #626
Amin Gmaj Fmaj Emaj
Tornado motherfucker
Tornado motherfucker
Oh my God, we’re getting nailed
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God, we’re getting nailed
Oh my God
Oh my God
Dude, dude, dude
Dude it’s coming
What?
Dude, dude, dude
Dude it’s coming
What?
Holy fuck
Holy shit
Inside, now go!
Ahahahaha
Holy fuck
Holy shit
Inside, now go!
Ahahahaha
Holy shit
This is fucking crazy
Look at that
Look at the tree!
Look at the tree!
Look at the tree!
Dude, dude, dude
Dude it’s coming
What?
Dude, dude, dude
Dude it’s coming
What?
Dude, inside bro
Cause the wind
The wind is crazy
Ooooh it’s funneling
The wind, the wind is crazy
Tornado motherfucker
Tornado motherfucker
Oh my God, we’re getting nailed
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God, we’re getting nailed
Oh my God
Oh my God
Dude, dude, dude
Dude here it comes
What?
Dude, dude, dude
Dude here it comes
What?
Dude, dude, dude
Dude here it comes
What?
Dude, dude, dude
Dude here it comes
What?
Steve Jobs is a Secret Ninja
Song A Day #627
Bbmaj Fmaj
Steve Jobs is a secret ninja
Gmin
Which is obvious
Ebmaj
When you think about it
He can vanish in
A puff of smoke
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for
Bbmaj
Reality distortion
Dmin Ebmaj
Yeah, yeah
Ninja special agent
Yeah yeah
Oprah Auto-Tuned
Song A Day #628
Amin
‘Cause after all
Bbmaj
This really is
Fmaj
Really really is
My 25th season
This is really my last chance to do something
Really, really big
Bbmaj Cmaj
And if you want to do something big
Dmin Cmaj
You will want to take along
Bbmaj Amin
Your ultimate fans
Gmin
Where would I most want to go?
Bbmaj
Where would I most want to go?
Cmaj
Maybe I should take all of you
With me
To…
Where would I most want to go?
Where would I most want to go?
Maybe I should take all of you
With me
To…
The other side of the world
Fmaj Bbmaj Cmaj
We’re going to Australia!!!!
John Travolta
John Travolta
John Travolta
John Travolta
Captain Travolta
Captain Travolta
Captain Travolta
Captain Travolta
‘Cause after all
This really is
Really really is
My 25th season
Bristol Palin Dancing
Song A Day #629
Gmin Dmin
As we keep descending
Cmaj Bbmaj
Into ever-increasing absurdity
It’s hard sometimes to notice
Like a frog boiled slowly
And by the time we’re cooked
Sarah Palin will be president
It’s the natural conclusion
Of obsession with celebrity
Here is a clip of Bristol Palin
Promoting abstinence
Her mother belongs to the party
That calls themselves Conservative
Double, double, double speak
And it works
It works so well
As they’re dancing cheek to cheek
And we look on from hell
Gmin Fmaj
Dance Bristol dance
Dmin Ebmaj
Dance and make your mother proud
Dance Bristol dance
Dance and make your mother proud
Dance Bristol dance
Dance and make your mother proud
Dance Bristol dance
Dance and make your mother proud
I’m the Same as I Ever Was
Song #62
First note sung: B
Bm Am
I’m the same as I ever was
Bm
I build up faith
Am G
I build up dust
Bm Am
I’m not afraid of what may come
Bm Am
I’m just the same as I ever was
G
As I ever was
YouTube Pre-Roll Ads
Song A Day #630
Fmaj
Song-a-Day
F7
Is the only way
Dmin Cmaj
That I make any money
Bbmaj
It’s kind of funny
Amin
Actually
Hahahaha
Gmin Dmin Cmaj
That I make any money at all, allll
And so now I will allow
YouTube to run ads
It’s not ideal, but there it is
Ohohohohohohoh
Pre-roll ads pay the most
If you watch me every day
Please don’t turn away
A boy has got to eat
Right?
Until the day
That I find a way
To sell my music to the masses
Or teach classes
On songwriting
Fun fun fun fun
I’ll have to keeps these ads
Up and running
Fmaj Gmin Bbmsj Cmaj
YouTube pre-roll ads
YouTube pre-roll ads
YouTube pre-roll ads
YouTube pre-roll ads
Humanity Stands
Song A Day #631
Gmaj
Climbing the hill
Cmaj
Taking my pills
Dmaj Gmaj
Please don’t make me hold up a sign
If God wasn’t dead
He’d be shaking his head
Saying
“Well it wasn’t from lack of trying”
Cmaj
‘Cause there’s no one around
That can pick up the sound
Amin Dmaj
That deep, dark rumble and roar
So we all stand
With our heads in the sand
Not really even knowing what for
I’m just a-watching the clock
Pushing that rock
Bargain bin, $10 off
Wake me up when
We’re human again
When we find out the joke is on us
‘Cause no one can see
The storm that’s coming
With a hoot and a holler, oh boy
So we all stand
With our heads in the sand
As if it’s something we enjoy
Dmin Fmaj Gmaj
So I’m a keep beating that drum
Trying not to seem dumb
But failing at it most of the time
It’s how you begin
With humanity’s sin
And end up with humanity’s crime
But humanity’s charm
Is a twist of an arm
And a slip-slap across the face
So we all stand
With our heads in the sand
Convinced we all like this place
I said so we all stand
With our heads in the sand
Convinced that we all like this place
Cosmoceratops
Song A Day #632
Amin Bmin Cmaj E6
In a pre-historic, Utah swamp
Back when dinosaurs used to stomp and romp
Fmaj Gmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Among ancestors of eucalyptus and pine
It was an all-plant diet that kept him fed
He had 15 horns upon his 7-foot head
Yeah, a Cosmoceratops
He was a friend of mine
Fmaj
All through the swamp
Amin
We would roam
Gmaj
Cosmoceratops and me
Fmaj Bbmaj
Resting for a while in his tree fort home
Amin Gmaj
Hiding from giant bees
Cmaj
Well Cosmoceratops
Fmaj
I would like to give you props
Dmin
On your horns
Gmaj
Your 15 gleaming horns
Yeah your days would be terse
With potential predators
They’d be warned
They would stay away
Oh Cosmoceratops, whoa
I said Cosmoceratops
Whoa, oh whoa
Well 7600 years ago
My friend looked up at the cosmos
And said “someday, we’re all gonna die”
He had a premonition then, of things to come
He was 15 feet long
And weighed 2.5 tons
I patted him on the back
When he started to cry
We climb to the top of an old swamp hill
Cosmoceratops and I
A beautiful land, hot and still
Restless and teeming with life
Well Cosmoceratops, I would like to give you props
On your horns
15 gleaming horns
Your days would be terse
With potential predators
They’d be warned
They would stay away
I say Cosmoceratops, whoa
I say Cosmoceratops, whoa
I say Cosmoceratops, whoa oh oh oh
Cosmoceratops, whoa
Yeah
Lady Gaga DADT Speech Autotuned
Song A Day #633
Dmin
I wrote this speech, this address, myself
I spent 48 hours trying to find the perfect thing to say
Doesn’t it seem to be
Cmaj A6
That “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is backward
B-b-b-backward
Doesn’t it seem to be
Based on the constitution of the United States
Dmin Bmaj Cmaj Amaj
That we’re penalizing the wrong soldier
Penalizing the wrong solider
Penalizing the wrong soldier
Doesn’t it seem to you
That we should send home the prejudice
The prejudice
The straight soldier
Who hates the gay soldier
The straight soldier
Who has prejudice in his heart, in his heart
The straight soldier
Who hates the gay soldier
The straight soldier
Who has prejudice in his heart, in his heart
Fmaj Cmaj
In a space where the military asks him
Dmin Cmaj
To hold our core American values
He instead harbors hate (hare!)
And he gets to stay and fight for our country
Should soldiers and the government
Be able to pick and choose
What we are fighting for?
Or who we are fighting for?
I wasn’t aware of this ambiguity
I thought the Constitution was ultimate
I thought equality was non-negotiable
Non-negotiable
N-n-n-non-negotiable
Non-negotiable
N-n-n-non-negotiable
The straight soldier
Who hates the gay soldier
The straight soldier
Who has prejudice in his heart, in his heart
The straight soldier
Who hates the gay soldier
The straight soldier
Who has prejudice in his heart, in his heart
Are you listening??
The Ballad of Teresa Lewis
Song A Day #634
Gmin
I don’t know you
Ebmaj Bbmaj
I don’t know your life
Fmaj
I don’t know about your IQ
D7
And I don’t know what it’s like
Living in Virginia
It’s for lovers, so they say
Love is all, love is strong
It’s powerful and strange
Ebmaj
Some deserve to live
Fmaj
Some deserve to die
Bbmaj Gmin
Who can make that judgment for sure
We can learn to forgive
Take an eye for an eye
But Virginia felt equipped to judge her
Ebmaj Fmaj Gmin
Virginia felt equipped to judge her
There are some that believe
That life is black and white
And that justice is achieved
When there’s confessions and there’s proof
There are those of us that know
That life’s a lot more gray
And no matter how deep you go
There’s always a deeper truth
Some deserve to die
Some deserve to live
Who can make that judgment for sure
Take an eye for an eye
Or learn to forgive
But Virginia felt equipped to judge her
Virginia felt equipped to judge her
If you see Jesus on the road
Ask him what he thinks
He’ll say he doesn’t know
Or that he died alone
There’s no barriers or walls
And every life we take
Diminishes us all
It’s written in our bones
And some deserve to live
And some deserve to die
Who can make that judgment for sure
We can learn to forgive
Or take an eye for an eye
But Virginia felt equipped to judge her
Oh Virginia felt equipped to judge her
The Hippo and the Crocodile
Song A Day #635
Gmaj
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Bmin
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Gmaj
I wanna eat you
Munch you, crunch you
Amin
Hippo, croc, oh gee would munch you
Have a lot of teeth
But I’m not scared
Emin Dmaj
‘Cause I can kick your ass
Gmaj
Hippopotamus, oh
Emin Dmaj
Loves the crocodile
Loves to chew on him
In the sun for a while
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Hippopotamus, oh
Loves the crocodile
Loves to chew on him
In the sun for a while
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Hippopotamus (hippopotamus)
Crocodile (oh)
Crocodile (oh)
Close Your Eyes
Song A Day #636
Emaj Amaj Bmaj
Heat wave in L.A.
Tornado in New York
Time to deny me, some climate change
Crawl into a hole
G#7 F#min Bmaj
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
Go to the internet
You can’t predict earthquakes
But let me remind you
Lest you forget
They can predict climate change
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
Amaj
It’s not the end of days
G#min
That the Bible speaks about
F#min
It’s not the Myan calendar
G#min
That the crazies dream about
It’s not magnetic shifting
Of the poles, of the poles
It’s humans and it’s nature
And it’s taking its tolls
Lakes are drying up
The water’s running out
The oceans are dying quick
The oil didn’t help
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
Close your eyes
No it’s not, it’s not, it’s not happening
Close your eyes
That’s all you get
Back to Where I Started From
Song A Day #637
Ebmaj
Back I'm going back
Abmaj Bbmaj
Back to where I started from
Back I'm going back, oh
Back to where I started from
Cmin Bbmaj
It's not, no it's not
Abmaj
The place that I call my home
Bbmaj Ebmaj
But it's where I'm going, oh

Ebmaj Abmaj
Every time you set out
Bbmaj Cmin
You find out what you are made of
Getting lost and lost control
You face the thing you're most afraid of
I was gone but now I'm back
In the space my face reflects the changes
Blue sky above me says
Do your best to stay outrageous
Do your best to remain outrageous
Back I'm going back
Back to where I started from
Back I'm going back, oh
Back to where I started from
It's not, no it's not
The place that I call my home
But it's where I'm going, oh

Mother nature outside
Mother nature inside you screaming
Remembering the first time
Parse the clues to find some meaning
If the meaning isn't there
Mocking birds will start to singing
City sounds around you will
Hark the windy angel bringing
Bringing me back
Back I'm going back
Back to where I started from
Back I'm going back, oh
Back to where I started from
It's not, no it's not
The place that I call my home
But it's where I'm going, oh

Fences neighbors ratio
Good to bad and there's a difference
Turn up the radio
You're on the road
To deliverance
I wandered far and wound up here
I'll never stay away for long
Gravity and magnetic fields
The pull the pull is just too strong
Back I'm going back
Back to where I started from
Back I'm going back, oh
Back to where I started from
It's not, no it's not
The place that I call my home
But it's where I'm going, oh
Congratulations to TechCrunch
Song A Day #638
Bbmaj Dmin Ebmaj
I know we’ve had our differences
Ebmin
In the past
Some nasty words were said and sung
But those feelings were recast
I read you every day
Every day I write a song
And when my songs are relevant
Sometimes you pass them right along
Bbmaj
Though some commenters
Fmaj
Seem to hate me
Gmin
I don’t take it personal
Ebmaj
We’re all just doing our best out here
In the dusty old wild and virtual
Bbmaj Dmin
So congratulations TechCrunch
Ebmaj Fmaj
On the acquisition
AOL owns a lot of blogs
I read several of ‘em
(Several of ‘em)
Gmin Ebmaj Fmaj
I hope you will not change
(Not change)
And the feeling stays the same
(Stays the same)
Bbmaj Dmin Ebmaj Fmaj
And you continue to grow
And you continue to grow
TechCrunch
Grow
The Canfield Song
Song A Day #639
Bbmaj Ebmaj
I walked into Canfield
Fmaj
Six years after I left
They still got a big T.V.
And video games galore
Gmin Bbmaj
Hooray
Gmin Fmaj
Hooray
Gmin Fmaj
It warms the cockles of my heart
Well look at this Nintendo box
And its Lord of the Rings: The Game
Are there still rats in the walls
Oh look, it’s Richard Diebenkorn
Hooray
Hooray
Well it warms the cockles of my heart
Canfield you’re cool as can be
Canfield you’re the only house for me
Bennington College, I Love You
Song A Day #640
Fmaj
From the year 2000
Cmaj Fmaj
To 2004
Cmaj
I belonged to you
Bbmaj
You belonged to me
Six years later and I’m still yours
You’re still mine
We’ll continue to be
Dmin
Though everything’s changed
Cmaj
And the student center’s weird
A7 Dmin
And the downstairs café
Cmaj
Is no longer a pit
The feeling’s the same
Kapps looks cool
All the walkways and the streetlamps
I can barely believe it
Yeah I don’t wanna come back
For at least six more years
It’s bittersweet ‘cause being here
Is like being in the womb
And all of my struggles out there in the world
Seem so far away
When I stand in my old room
People I knew, and seeing them again
So much more powerful than on Facebook, oh no
I love them all
And our time is too short
Wanna wrap them up and take them with me
When I go
Wanna wrap them up and take them with me
When I go
Bennington
Bennington
Bennington
I love you
Bennington
Bennington
Bennington
I love you
There’s No Way This Song Will Be Good
Song A Day #641
One, two, one, two, three, four
Cmaj Gmaj
There’s no way
This song could be good
Fmaj Gmaj
‘Cause I’m just too ti-i-red
But I will write it anyway
Who needs to be inspired
Amin
I shot inspiration
E7
That shit is overrated
Fmaj
I’ll make a lump of clay today
D7
Don’t need to be gold-plated
There’s no way
That this song could be good
I can hardly play-y-y
My head feels like it’s on fire
And I need a drink
I don’t got no muse
Guiding my hand
It’s just me and my uke
I don’t need a whole band
And there’s no way
That this song could be good
It’s 11:30pm
I woke up really early today
And it’s been a long weekend
You won’t feel anything
By the end of this song
It’ll be like I never sang it
And it won’t carry on
Like, na na na na na na na
Na na, no no no no no
Na na na na na na na
Na nan a
Na na no no no no no
There’s no way that this song
That this song, that this song will be good
Morning, Noon, or Night?
Song A Day #642
Dmaj Amaj
Every day
F#min Gmaj
I’m in a different place
Every day
I write another song
And every day
You watch me on the internet
Gmaj
It’s a dance we do
Amaj
All year long
My oh my
My uke is out of tune
That’s ok
I know you’ll understand
The fact that I
Mention it in my lyrics
Makes you wonder if
I had it planned
Every day
I’m in a different place
But I write every day
But not the same time
Leave a comment and let me know
Do you watch me
Mostly morning, noon, or night
Morning, noon, or night
Ninja Steve
Song A Day #643
Emin
Steve takes the stage
And the crowd is going wild
Cmaj
All the work’s been done
Every patent has been filed
Dmaj
Now it’s time to show the product
To the world
Bmaj
But just as he’s about to
Let it all unfurl
Buzzers, ask Steve
Buzzers, ask Steve
Buzzers, ask Steve
Buzzers
Emin
Ninja Steve, Ninja Steve
Cmaj
Moves so fast
You wouldn’t believe
Dmaj
Got so many tricks up his sleeve
Emin
He’s Ninja Steve
Ninja Steve, Ninja Steve
What you reckon he will plea
Many will come but one will leave
He’s Ninja Steve
There’s Always (NEVER) Someone Better
Song A Day #644
Dmin Amaj Gmin
Somewhere someone just like me
Fmaj
He looks like me
Amaj Dmin
And he acts like me
Amaj
He says the same words
Gmin
He writes the same songs
Fmaj Amaj
But he’s better than me
Dmin
In every way
Gmin Dmin
There’s always someone better
No matter where you go
There’s always someone better
Amaj Dmin
So it’s better if you just don’t know
Dmin Cmaj Bbmaj
(whistles)
On a planet of 6 billion it’s inevitable
It’s growing all the time
And it’s exponential
If you meet your doppelganger
And they’re better than you
Just say alright
And do what you do
‘Cause there’s always someone better
No matter where you go
There’s always someone better
It’s better if you just don’t know
(whistles)
Once upon a time was a bang
And it was a big bang
It was everything
It was all of us
So in the end we’re all the same
And this is your song
As much as it’s mine
It’s all of us
There’s never anyone better
No matter where you go
There’s never anyone better
It’s better oh, oh
(whistles)
Oh oh
(whistles)
Whoah oh oh oh
(whistles)
Whoah oh oh
(whistles)
As if in a Dream
Song A Day #645
Gmaj Bmin
On my way downtown
Fmaj
Through the empty streets
Cmaj
The abandoned stores
There was a growing concern
Pasted on the telephone polls
That I couldn't ignore

So I quickened the pace
I'm not gonna die
Just standing around
Then I saw her face
As I gasped for breath
Gmin Cmaj
I started to drown, drown, drown, drown

There's somebody there
Did they hear me scream
And where did it come from?
Then they're making me swear
That I'll never admit
That it was different where I was

As if in a dream
The clouds are gathering
I'm electric and terrified
I'm in the back seat
I scream at her to keep
Driving, drive, drive, drive
Driiiive
Drive, drive, drive
Driiiive
Dmaj
Nooooooo
Emin
No oh ohhhhh
Nooooooo
No oh ohhhhh

I'm out of my mind
There's no discussion
No admission of any mistake
I’m ready to die
I break my fingers
With a hammer and wooden stake

Climbing up stairs
That seem never-ending
But always near the top
I’m caught unawares
I stop pretending
Aand the volume starts to drop
Starts to drop
Drop
Starts to drop
Nooooooo
No oh ohhhhh
Nooooooo
No oh ohhhhh
Nooooooo
No oh ohhhhh
Nooooooo
No oh ohhhhh
What a Do Little Day
Song A Day #646
Cmaj Bbmaj
Oh hey hey
Fmaj Gmin Fmaj
What a beautiful day
Oh hey hey
What a do-little day

Cmaj Dmin
I wandered out
Amaj
And met a man selling watermelon
Amaj7
By the willow tree
A7
He looked at me
D6 Dmin6
He gave me some free

He peeled back his skin
And lo and behold beneath
It was another face
He was an orangutan
And he bared his fangs
I heard a bang
And my phone rang 

And the caller said to me
“What a beautiful day”
That’s what the caller said to me
She said “a do-little day”

I took a picture with my phone
And sent it out
To all my friends
And they texted back
That as a matter of fact
Orangutans attack

I started to run 
But I knew that I’d be caught
So I just played dead
Like a possum instead
As the primate touched my head
And he said:
“Hey, hey such a beautiful day”
He said
“Hey hey, just a do-little day”
Hey hey
Just a beautiful day
Hey hey
Just a do-little day
Just a do-little day
Hey hey
It was a beautiful day
We Did Not See the Sunset
Song A Day #647
Cmaj Fmaj Cmaj
We did not see the sunset
Gmaj Fmaj Cmaj
Not from lack of trying
Killed a Nazi and forget
The look on his face when dying
Amin Emin
Everybody turn your faces to the left
Fmaj
Laugh out loud “ha ha ha”
Gmaj
Laugh at death
We did not see the sunset
Not from lack of trying
Killed a Nazi and forget
The look on his face when dying
Everybody turn your faces to the left
Laugh out loud “ha ha ha”
Laugh at death
We did not see the sunset
Not from lack of trying
Killed a Nazi and forget
The look on his face when dying
Everybody turn your faces to the left
Laugh out loud “ha ha ha”
Laugh at death
Sex
Song A Day #648
Gmin Cmin
I was gonna make a joke but
Gmin Cmin
I saw the look on your face then
Your mother came in the room
Fmaj
And moved us down to the basement
We made out on the couch
Under shirt but over bra
I didn't know what else to do
The most beautiful thing girl I ever saw
Gmin Cmin
At a Christmas party
Alone upstairs
You put your hands
Dmaj
Down my pants
Gmin Cmin Dmaj
I wanna have sex
I wanna have sex

We been working in the dark room
Suddenly you look at me
Before I know I'm on the ground
You've knocked me down and I can't get free
Later on in the dining hall
I can't even look your way
I don't know who you think you are
But there's nothing left to say

Upstairs in the math room
You're on top of me
You're taking me to prom
I’m gonna go and I wanna
I wanna have sex
I wanna have sex

Gmin
I hope I have sex before i die
I’m like a little bird learning to fly
Fmaj
I'm writing letters to you
You're telling me what you want to do
What you wanna do

Bbmaj
The time is drawing closer, I anticipate
Gmin
The sound of your breath on me, I cannot wait
Fmaj
Your dad drops you off
If he knew he'd strangle me to death
Gmin
I said he’d strangle me to death

Now you're lying in your underwear
Am I happy? I can't quite tell
i kinda want to do it again
Do it until we both start to swell
Now you are my girlfriend
First real one I ever had
I wait in my car outside your house
I don't want to see your dad

Downstairs in the bathroom
We do it so quickly
They're downstairs waiting for us
But I wanna do it again, I wanna
I wanna have sex
I wanna have sex
Wanna have sex
I wanna have sex
Wanna have sex
The Australian Today Show
Song A Day #649
Cmaj Gmaj
On the Today Show
Dmin Amin
You never know what you’re gonna get
Maybe ballroom dancing
Or how to take care of your pet
In the winter time I’m from America
Does it get very cold in Australia?
When it’s winter there
It’s summer here
I kinda think that’s really weird
On the Today Show
Weekday mornings from 5:30 to 9
Georgie Gardner leads the news
(She’s hot)
Lisa Wilkinson is super fine
(Oh yeah)
Cam does sports
Richard Wilk does entertainment
Richard Reed gossips from LA
With their powers combined
From 5:30 to 9
The crack team that is today
Todayyyyy
On Today
Todayyyyyy
On Today
Today
Teddy Bear Revolution
Song #64
First Note Sung:
Am G
I’m sick of all this talk of eating rat’s frau
Dm
What about it?
C
What about us?
Am G
I’m sick of all this talk of eating rat’s frau
Dm
What about it?
C
What about us?
C Dm Am F
One day we will rise up and take what’s rightfully ours
Dm Am G
Wrest control from our evil human oppressor
C Dm
And lord I know that day is coming
Am F Dm Am G
Every teddy bear in the world raises fist in spite those that does wrong
Listen to me now say
C F C F
Teddy bear revolution is the only sensible solution
C F C F
To reverse all the sick pollution they’ve poisoned our minds
Dm G
They make us think we’re less than they are
C F
And so I offer up this prayer
C F
You’re just a little teddy bear
Dm G
Let’s show them what that means
C
Death to humans
Angry Berkeley Housewife in a Jaguar
Song A Day #650
Dmin A6
Angry Berkeley housewife in a Jaguar
Cmaj Amaj
Honking at an SUV
I wonder to myself about who you are
And I’m glad you’re not honking at me
Me me me me
Angry Berkeley housewife in a Jaguar
Angry Berkeley housewife in a Jaguar, Jaguar
Angry Berkeley housewife in a Jaguar
Angry Berkeley housewife in a Jaguar, Jaguar
A Dream State from which Ye Never Shall Return
Song A Day #651
Amaj Emaj F#min
Amaj Emaj F#min Emaj
(Instrumental, no lyrics)
I’ve Got an Idea
Song A Day #652
Gmaj Amin
I’ve got an idea
Cmaj Gmaj
Of what makes a man a man
How many pieces of himself
Dmaj
Can he identify and understand
Nobody else is responsible
For the things he does and doesn’t do
But no man alive could look in your eyes
And not fall in love with you
Cmaj
It was automatic
It was magic
Gmaj Emin
Static giving way to clear airwaves
And your heart
Doing its part
Gmaj Dmaj
To keep me true to myself
I’ve got an idea
Of how a love song goes
I sing about how tra la la
And then everybody knows
But the feelings that I have for you
Go much further than this song
Like when I try too hard and I go too far
But you push me right along
So it’s automatic
And it’s magic
And it’s static giving way to clear airwaves
And your heart
Doing its part
To keep me true to myself
Whooo
I’ve got an idea
Of the nature of things to come
But the nature it seems
Of human beings
Is that we’re always wrong
I will love you forever
I know this to be fact
Forever could be an eternity
Or a blink of an eye, if that
It was automatic
It was magic
It was static giving way to clear airwaves
And your heart
Doing its part
To keep me true to myself
Oh automatic
And it’s magic
And it’s static giving way to clear airwaves
And your heart
Doing its part
To keep me true to myself
True to myself
The Thing is the Thing
Song A Day #653
Cmaj Fmaj
I'm not running away from you
Dmin Gmaj
I'm running away from me
Cmaj Fmaj Amin
Before we both end up on the corner
Dmin Gmaj
Begging on the street

I'm not taking my time
I’m just taking what’s mine
Before I die I'll be filled up
With all the things I find
Cmaj Dmin Gmaj
Ohhhh
Ohhhh
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Once in the middle now I’m far behind
Grew just a little and it felt unkind
Catch me up in a golden net
Hold me still until I set
Cmaj Dmin Gmaj
I said ohhhh
I said ohhhh

I'm an ethnic Jew
What’s it mean to you
I don't practice
I don't speak Yiddish 
Or, or Hebrew
You're an alley cat
And you have got 9 lives
I'm just a dog with no collar
And with hungry eyes
I said ohhhh
I said ohhhh
I said
Once in the middle now I’m far behind
Grew just a little and it felt unkind
Catch me up in a golden net
Hold me still until I set
I said ohhhh
I said ohhhh
Oh oh oh


I'm a nervous guy
And I don't know why
The seasons come and go
And I sit here staring at a broken eye
When there's nothing left
That's when you're finally free
To go about your business 
Like you would just normally
Ohhh
I said ohhh
Once in the middle now I’m far behind
Grew just a little
Now I felt unkind
Catch me up in a golden net
Hold me still until I set
I said ohhhh
I said ohhhh
Ohhhh
I said oh
Secret Cat
Song A Day #654
Cmaj Gmaj
Secret cat
Cmaj
Can’t see her
Fmaj
But she makes you sneeze, oh
Secret cat
Can’t see her
But she makes you sneeze, oh
Whoah
Whoahhh
Cmaj
She blends in with the carpet
Gmaj Fmaj
She never ever meows
She goes out every night
To bring you a secret mouse
Fmaj
Secret cat
Secret cat
Gmaj
I’m still allergic to you
Secret cat
You can’t see her
She makes you sneeze
Ohhhh
Secret cat
You can’t see her
But she’ll make you sneeze, yeah oh
Whoahh
Whoahhh
Secret cat had a sister
Her name was well-known cat
She got a job in Hollywood
And well, that was that
Secret cat, secret cat
I know you must be lonely sometimes
Secret cat
Cant’ see her
But she makes you sneeze
Ohh secret cat
Can’t see her
But she makes you sneeze
Ohhh
Whooah
Whoah
Secret cat when you die
I don’t think I’ll even know
I’ll still be sneezing
And I’ll think of you
I know that you’ll be happy
Wherever you go
Ohhhh
Secret cat, secret cat
You could be dead for all I know
Secret cat
You can’t see her
But she makes you sneeze
Ohhh
Secret cat
You can’ see her
But she makes you sneeze
Yeah oh
Whoahh
Whoahhh
Whoahh
Whoahh
Whoahh
Who – achoo
Oh – achoo
Achoo
Achoo
Secret cat
Secret cat
I love you
And that’s a fact
I Don’t Wanna Be Anyone But Me
Song A Day #655
Gmaj
I don’t wanna be
Emin
Anyone but me
Cmaj
I don’t wanna go
Dmaj
Where the people just don’t know
I don’t wanna be
Anyone but me
I don’t wanna go
Where the people just don’t know
I don’t wanna sit
Still and be quiet
I don’t wanna find that
I can’t be kind
I don’t wanna sit
Still and be quiet
I don’t wanna find that
I can’t be kind
Gmaj Amin
Nobody believes you
Emin Dmaj
When you tell them that you’re crazy
Maybe that’s because
They are crazy themselves
Nobody really knows you
Not your grandma or your baby
And you keep the real you
Locked up in a cell
I don’t wanna be
Anyone but me
I don’t wanna go
Where the people just don’t know
Happy 25TH Birthday, NES
Song A Day #656
Emaj
Well it was 1986
Bmaj
In my babysitter's basement
Amaj
The glow of the TV
Emaj Bmaj
Kept me staring in amazement
My brother had Atari
But this was something different
And I knew right then
What I would want for Christmas
Bmaj Amaj
NES, NES
Still the best
Still the best
C#min
Though everything will change
Amaj
You will stay the same
C#min
Though everything will change
Bmaj
You’re still you, NES
Emaj G#min Amaj Bmaj
NES
NES

Now it’s the day after Christmas
I'm almost 5 years old
And the sight of Mario
Is something to behold
I can barely even play it
Barely hold the controller
I play it anyway
Over and over and over

NES, NES
I say yes
I say yes

I'm 28 now and I still play games
But compared to those memories
Nothing’s the same
NES, NES
NES, NES
Emaj Amaj F#min Amaj Bmaj
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES, oh
Happy Birthday NES
Ohhhh
The Rent is Too Damn High Song
Song A Day #657
C#maj G#Maj F#maj
I represent the Rent is Too Damn High party
People working 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week
At some inferior job
Women can’t afford to take care of their children
Feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Feed their children breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Together
Our main job is to put a roof over your head
Food on the table
And money in your pocket
This is politics as usual
Playing the silly game
Playing the silly game
The rent is too damn high movement
Because people can’t afford to pay their rent
They’re being laid off right now without speaking
They can’t eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Listen, listen
Someone’s stomach just growled
Did you hear it?
Someone’s stomach just growled
Did you hear it?
Someone’s stomach just growled
Did you hear it?
You gotta listen like me
Let’s talk about the issues
People can’t afford to fill their stomachs
(That’s 30 seconds for you, sir)
Cmaj Fmaj
As a karate expert, I will not talk about anyone up here
Our children cannot afford to live anywhere
Nowhere
There’s nowhere to go
Once again, why?
You said it
The rent, it’s too damn high
(Thank you)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Too damn high
(Ohhhhh oh oh)
Mr. Cuomo
I’m with Jimmy, the rent is too damn high
(Wahh wahh)
Rent is Too Damn High party
If you want to marry a shoe, I’ll marry you
Coco Taco Party Song
Song A Day #658
Amin
Everything was quiet
Gmaj
Over at Coco Headquarters
Fmaj
There’s a guy down the hall
Emaj
Wonder what he’s doing
Speed things up a bit
There’s a woman on a pink cellphone
Oh that guy’s got a mask of
Rupesh Nadeah
Amin
There’s a guy in a yellow shirt
Cmaj
There’s a guy in a sweatshirt
Dmaj
There’s a guy in a blue sweatshirt
Emaj
He’s got an umbrella
There’s a guy in a white shirt
And the yellow shirt is gone
First sweatshirt is mailing Netflix
Not the party’s on
Cmaj Fmaj
Coco Taco Party
Cmaj Gmaj
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Gmaj
Taco Taco Coco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Taco Taco Coco Party
Cmaj Fmaj
Some people want to dance
Amin Gmaj
With a dancing taco
Some people just want to
Go about their business
But taco keeps on dancing
I like his cowboy boots
He dances down the hall
This woman got tacos for lunch
Cmaj Fmaj Gmaj
Twitter calls for running man
Twitter calls for break dance
Twitter calls for stink leg
This taco can dance ‘em all
Dance ‘em all
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
(It’s a party)
Taco Taco Coco Party
Coco Taco Party
(Ooooh)
Coco Taco Party
(Sing along now)
Coco Taco Party
Taco Taco Coco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Taco Taco Coco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Coco Taco Party
Taco Taco Coco Party
What a Glorious Space to Dwell
Song A Day #659
Fmaj
There are more atoms in
Cmaj
A single glass of water
Bbmaj
Than glasses of water
Bbmin
In the oceans of the earth
A blue whale’s heart
Is the size of a VW Beetle
And you could swim through its arteries
Abmaj Fmin
An adult human has 2 to 9
Abmaj Fmin
Pounds of bacteria
D#
In his or her body
Cleopatra lived closer in time
To the first moon landing
Than to the building of the Great Pyramids
54 million people alive right now
Will be dead within 12 months
Fold over a piece of paper
42 times and it will reach the moon
Fmaj Abmaj Bbmaj
What a mad, mad world
Fmaj Abmaj Cmaj
What a wonderfully nutty universe
What a glorious space to dwell
What a blessing and what a curse
Ohhh

Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas, which
Given enough time thinks about itself.
The chances are high that 120 years from now
I will not be thought of daily
Just another person who lived on Earth.

You see your nose at all times
Your brain just chooses to ignore it.

Optimus Prime and Eeyore were the same guy. 
Same with Megatron and Scooby Doo
Duck Hunt is two-player
A controller in port 2 controls the ducks

Blue whale is more closely related to a cow
Than a cow is to a horse

What a mad, mad world
(It’s a mad world)
What a wonderfully nutty universe
(Crazy)
What a glorious space to dwell
(It’s a mad world)
What a blessing and what a curse
Ohh

Fmaj Abmaj Cmaj Bbmaj
The age of the observable universe
Is 13.7 billion years
But it's a sphere with a radius
Of 46.5 billion light years.

Each ejaculation has more sperm
Than there are people in the United States.
One in 5000 babies are born
Without an anus
It's called Imperforate Anus.

The concept of "reality"
Exists only in our minds
The Spyders
Song #65
First note sung: Bb
Bb
Nine sisters up on a hill
F/Ab
Eating, drinking, talking, bonding
F/Ab
When the slopes are covered in snow
F/Ab Bb
That’s when Spyders are responding
Bb
Muppet down, muppet down
Bb F/Ab
Maria’s thinking up a new book idea
G Eb
Sanae’s cooking up a gluten free meal
Bb Eb Bb F
Hey, hey, hey that’s the Spyders
Bb F/Ab
Dagne’s covered in rhinestones and feathers
G Eb
As Cynthia O. reads magazines by the fire
Bb Eb Bb F
Hey, hey, hey, that’s the Spyders
Bb F/Ab
Glynnis won’t give Fab a bedtime kiss
G Eb
Pamela sees modern art in all of this
Bb Eb Bb F
I said hey, hey, hey that’s the Spyders
Bb F/Ab
Cynthia A. may be thinking about Russia
G Eb
Kristin’s got the girls doing sit ups and push ups
Bb Eb Bb F
I said hey, hey, hey that’s the Spyders
Bb F/Ab G Eb
And Fab’s the glue, Fab’s the queen, Fab’s big heart and generosity
Bb Eb Bb F
That’s hey, hey, hey the Spyders
Bb
Nine sisters up on a hill
F/Ab
Eating, drinking, talking, bonding
F/Ab
When the slopes are covered in snow
F/Ab Bb
That’s when Spyders are responding
Bb
Muppet down, muppet down x2
If Dogs Have Feelings
Song A Day #660
Gmaj
If dogs have feelings
Amin
If dogs have feelings
Cmaj
If dogs have feelings
Dmaj
And I know that you know they’ve got feelings
Then cats have feelings
Then cats have feelings
Then cats have feelings
Cat lovers everywhere know they got feelings
Then rats have feelings
Then rats have feelings
Then rats have feelings
I can't prove it, but I know they’ve got feelings
Then snakes have feelings
Then snakes have feelings
Then snakes have feelings
If you pay attention then you'll see they have feelings

Gmaj Dmaj
Feelings are subjective
Emin Cmaj
You'll never know how I’m feeling
And the intensity with which I feel
Is not for you to judge
Some say a tail wag
Means that a dog is happy
Some say it's that he's nervous
But we all know he's feeling something

Then horses have feelings
Then horses have feelings
Then horses have feelings
Spend some time with one and you'll know she’s got feelings
And cows have feelings
And cows have feelings
And cows have feelings
Hear that moo and you know she’s got feelings
And pigs have feelings
And pigs have feelings
And pigs have feelings
look him in the eye and you know he’s got feelings
Then chickens have feelings
Then chickens have feelings
Yes, chickens have feelings
Watch them for a while and you'll see they’ve got feelings
Feelings are subjective
You'll never know how I’m feeling
And the intensity with which I feel
Is not for you to judge
Some say that a tail wag
Means that a dog is happy
Some say that he's nervous
We all know he's feeling something
Oooooh ooh ooh
Feelings
Oooooh ooh ooh
Oooooh ooh ooh
Feelings
Oooooh ooh ooh
Feelings are subjective
You'll never know how I’m feeling
And the intensity with which I feel
Is not for you to judge
Some say that a tail wag
Means that a dog is happy
Some say that he's nervous
We all know he's feeling something
We know he’s feeling something
We all know he’s feeling something
We know he’s feeling something
Know he’s feeling something
Bury Me Beneath the Ocean (Redux)
Song A Day #661
Cmaj Gmaj
Baby we were never ‘sposed to meet
Amin Fmaj
But some enterprising fish believed
That happiness could be found on land
But, oh that’s when all my troubles began
So bury me there
Bury me there
In the ocean, the ocean
In the ocean
In the ocean
In the ocean
Beneath the waves where predators roam
It’s natural we would find our home
I’m lost, I’m lost
To the world of man
I long to be home
To be home again
Oh bury me
Oh bury me
Beneath the ocean
The ocean
Ocean ocean
Oh pretty baby, ocean
Oh, beneath the ocean
The ocean, ocean
Oh pretty baby, ocean
Oh, beneath the ocean
Ocean, ocean
Oh pretty baby, ocean
Oh, beneath the ocean
An Open Letter to the Bacteria Living in My Body
Song A Day #662
BMaj
Dear bacteria
D#7 G#min
I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye
Emaj
But you’re stuck in me
Bmaj
And I’m stuck with you
D#7 G#min
So it’d be foolish of us not to try
Dear bacteria
Some of you
Have been with me
For years
While some of you are new
Like this cold or this flu
It’s making me sick
And I’m trying my best to appear
F#maj
Like a gracious host
Emaj
No strenuous activities
Welcoming all the members of your disease
The good bacteria
(Hey)
The bad bacteria
(Ho)
D#7 G#min
Working together to make me who I am
G#min F#maj Emaj
Who I am
Dear bacteria
As long as you don’t kill me
I’m your friend
You go about your business
Whatever it is you do
The micro-processes I don’t understand
Dear bacteria
Sometime in the past I was like you
We were swimming arm in arm
Basking in the new sun
Best friends in the old primordial soup
I’m a gracious host
No strenuous activities
I’m welcoming all the members of your disease
The good bacteria
(Hey)
The bad bacteria
(Ho)
Working together to make me who I am
Who I am
Who I am
Who I am
I Don’t Feel Well
Song A Day #663
Cmaj
I’m not listening
I’m not listening
Gmaj
I’m covering my ears
And singing la la la
Fmaj
So you can just shut up now
I don’t care anyhow
Dmin
When you speak
All I hear is “bla bla bla”
Cmaj Bmaj Amin Gmaj
I don’t feel well
I don’t feel well
I don’t feel well
Fmaj
No, oh no
I’m at TEDMED
Song A Day #664
Fmaj
Well I'm at TEDMED
Bbmaj Fmaj
Yes, I'm at TEDED 
Bbmaj
In a fancy hotel 
Cmaj
I’m sitting on a fancy bed
So far it's been great
In fact inspiring and grand
So many experts
And so much to understand
Ohh oh, whoa, oh oh

Fmaj 
Well, first there was Charity
Bbmaj
An amazing opera singer
Dmin
She had a double lung transplant a year ago
Cmaj
And the story of her illness
And of her recovery
And just the fact of her up on the stage all aglow
She blew my mind
She blew my mind

Well next up was a pig lung
In this crazy machine
That keeps lungs alive for transplants 
Martha Stewart touched a pig lung
Apparently it's really soft
I didn't get to touch it
Maybe tomorrow

Next up was Rick
He had these awesome pictures
Showing various medical techniques across the years
Well he pointed out how the things
We think of as bleeding edge now
Will seem so quaint 
In no time at all

Well next up came Nathan
Who had this amazing idea
Of hospitals that always clean themselves 
He's also finished a cookbook
Written from a scientific perspective
Which looked totally rad and I may have to buy

Then was Nathan Wolfe
Who tracks viruses globally
He was really scary and reassuring
At the same time, yeah
First to know that the viruses
Are out there waiting for us
But also that really smart people are paying attention

And next was Eric Mead
A funnyman magician
He did a trick that involved his thumbs
Stuck together with medical tape
And then getting medical tubing
To go off and on his wrists
It's kind of hard to explain
But it was really, really cool
And I love magic
Yes I do

Next to last was Jay Walker
Who has the world's greatest library
He showed us a 500 year old medical book
And he talked about imagination 
And how important that it is
And boy I couldn't agree more

Finally Jill Sobule
Came out and sang a song
About lame skanky costumes for Halloween
Then later on at dinner
I got to hang out with Jill
And it was really great
I even met her mom
Ohhh yeah
So I’m at TEDMED
Yeah I’m at TEDMED
Sitting in a fancy hotel
On a fancy bed
So far it’s been great
In fact inspiring and grand
So many experts
I can’t wait to understand
Oh tomorrow
I’ll see more experts
And I will understand
(That is a 4 minute song)
In This Crowd
Song A Day #665
Fmaj
Here I am
Cmaj
On the beach
Dmin
At TEDMED
Bbmaj
With my new friends
With my new friends
What’s a friend?
Here I am
I don’t know
What’s TEDMED
It’s on the beach tonight
Yeah ohh oh
Uh huh
Sand on my feet
And ideas on my brain
TEDMED is full of all kinds of insane
Medical advances that someday I might need
But that’s ok ‘cause this crowd will be for me
In this crowd
In this crowd
I’m in this crowd of medical technologists
In this crowd
In this crowd
I’m in this crowd of medical innovators
And people that might just save me
Lungs outside on a table from my body
They’re made from pigs
But who cares
Maybe they’ll work
Let’s try them and see
If they’ll fit in my chest
Just to try
In this crowd
In this crowd
Third row deep in this crowd
In this crowd
In this crowd
In this crowd
In this crowd
Tony Robbins with his white teeth
He’s using them
To yell at me
But not harsh words
Only inspiration
Positive energy
You’ve got to find your station
In this crowd
In this crowd
In this crowd
TEDMED sing it loud
In this crowd
In this crowd
Oh TEDMED well we’re gonna sing it loud
In this crowd
Uh oh
In this crowd
In this crowd
TEDMED this crowd
Whoa oh
Whoa oh
Yeah TEDMED is lots of fun
Mmm
Here I am
On the beach
At TEDMED
With my new friends
666!
Song A Day #666
1,2,uh 1,2,3,4
Dmaj
1 2 3 4 5
Gmaj Amaj
666
You can sell your soul
Go ahead and take your pick
Gmaj
You can meet the devil
Dmaj
At the crossroads
Dmaj Amaj
You can see the surgeon take away the years
Take away the fears
Emin
Straight to the top
Bmin
You’re winning every bet
Gmaj
You’re on a roll
But inside your soul
Amaj
You know you can’t’ forget
Because it’s
1 2 3 4 5
And 666
You can sell your soul, yeah
Go ahead and take your pick
Be the man on campus
Every girl’s dream
You will laugh forever
All your roads are paved
Forever just a slave
And you’re going
Straight to the top
Oh, you’re winning every bet
When the collector comes
To collect your debt
Well you can’t get upset
Tell me, what did you expect?
Bmin
I was so, so envious
Amaj Bmin
You made me feel so small
Seeing you had it all
But then I went down to the garden
F#7
And joined them in a fall
1 2 3 4 5
666
You can sell your soul
666
ABCDEF
You were not very nice to me
When you kill yourself
You won’t be free
That’s what you get
For living stupidly
12345
666
You can sell your soul
You were such a dick
Ahhhhh!
(Loved your talk, by the way, guy watching us….)
I’m More Sick
Song A Day #667
I’m more sick
Even more sick than I was
That’s what happens
What not getting any rest does
I’m more sick
More sick even than I was
That’s what happens
That’s what not getting any rest does
And I’m gonna throw a party
I gotta throw a party
Gotta play a show on Sunday
Gotta play a show on Sunday
I’m more sick
Even more sick than I was
That’s what happens
What not getting any rest does
All I wanna do is sleep, sleep
All I wanna do is sleep, sleep
Eat some soup
Uh soup
Eat the soup, soup, soup
And tea
I’m more sick
Even more sick than I was
That’s what happens
What not getting any rest does
Sick as a Dog
Song A Day #668
I’m sick as a dog
So you won’t get much of a song
Out of me
Today
Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow
Maybe I’ll be feeling better
Then again maybe not
Ok
It’s Halloween, Let’s Fall in Love
Song A Day #669
Dmaj
Come on let's not fight
Amaj
Let's melt into the night
Gmaj
Let's forget about where we've been
Gmin
For Godsakes it's Halloween

Let’s put on a disguise
Look into my eyes
The best thing that I've ever seen
For Godsakes it's Halloween

Bmin
I was just a man 
Emin
You were always so much more
F#7
But I finally understand
Gmaj Gmin
Just what you had in store

Throw an arm around me
Have another drink
Leave room for the candy
But don't leave room to think
Dmaj
It’s Halloween
Gmin
Let’s fall in love
It’s Halloween
Let’s fall in love
Bmin
I’m falling in love
Emin
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
Lalalala lalalala lalalala
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
Lovey lovey love
Love love love love
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
I’m falling in love
(It’s Halloween)
A love love love love love
Love love love love love lovey love

We represent history
And it's not some big mystery
Whichever way you lean
For Godsakes it Halloween

On this night all the darkness
Comes out in her best dress
And she won't keep it clean
For Godssakes it's Halloween

Crazy robot babies
Growing in the room
Sometimes things go bump
Sometimes things go boom

Blood all in the wine
And the ceiling's caving in
Midnight is approaching
We're ready to begin
It’s Halloween, let’s fall in love
It’s Halloween, let’s fall in love
It’s Halloween, let’s fall in love
It’s Halloween, let’s fall in love
Rally to Restore Sanity: Singing the Signs
Song A Day #670
Fmaj Bbmaj
Tell me who would Jesus bomb?
Cmaj Dmin
I’m pretty sure that God hates us all equally
I understand your stance
And while I disagree
I’m pretty sure you’re not a Nazi
Dmin
I already regret
Cmaj
Choosing to carry around this sign
Bbmaj Cmaj
All day, all day
I’m mad as hell
But mostly in a passive aggressive way
Way-y-y
Fmaj
So I like turtles!
Bbmaj
My arms are tired
Gmin
Use your inside voice
Cmaj
Jesus says relax
Don't feed the trolls
Don't be a douche
I want a sandwich
Eat some sushi!

Dmin A7
The Death Star was an outside job
Gmaj Cmaj
Humpty Dumpty was pushed
What would Optimus Prime do?
If you keep shouting like that, 
You'll get big muscles all over your face
My president is black, and this sign is blue

Bbmaj Cmaj
Sweet succulent Jesus give me sanity
Ohhhh
Under-appreciated super heroes for sanity
Ohhhh
Confused senior citizens for sanity
Ohhhh
Retired CIA analyst for sensible drug policy
Oooh oh oh

Well I hate taxes 
But I like roads
Firemen, 
And some cops
Traffic lights (traffic lights)
National parks (national parks)
The coast guard
So I pay them anyway
Oh yeah I hate war too

Bbmaj Fmaj
The #1 threat to America:
Cmaj Dmin
Gay Mexican Muslim bears
Gay bearrorists
And bears are people too
This sign is too damn big
And take it off caps lock 

Am I acting suspicious?
Where are the Moderate Muslims? Right here
Lions, and tigers, and Muslims – oh my

Well, I fought Nazis and they don't look like Obama, no
Toasters united against tea baggers, oh

Obama is not the devil, I am
We should do this more often 
Even my sign chooses not to yell

And God hates Times New Roman
I’m a pasta-fearing American
And I'm moderate as hell

Ain't no party like a Mr. T party (hey)
I like tea, and you're kind of ruining it for me
(Hey, ho)

I want more tortillas when I order fajitas at a restaurant
Is this the line for the Justin Bieber tickets?
(Hey ho)

You say waffling like it's a bad thing!
Waffles are delicious!
Somewhat irritated about extreme outrage
(Hey, ho)

404 error: political message not found
404 error: political message not found
404 error: political message not found
404 error: political message not found
404 error: political message not found
404 error: political message not found
Vote
Song A Day #671
Fmaj Bbmaj
When you vote
You get a little feeling in your throat
Dmin
Because you did something today
Amin Gmin
It’s something small
Fmaj
But that’s ok
When you vote
Possibilities that are remote
They suddenly become crystal clear
And then they’re near
Cmaj
Voting is easy
Bbmaj
Voting is fun
Gmin
There’s no democracy
Cmaj
If it’s not done
However corrupt
However misled
If you don’t vote
Then you’re outta your head
When you vote
It’s like you’re sailing on a boat
Out upon the ocean blue
And the water and the boat is you
Detective EagleShark
Song A Day #733
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
D Em D Em
My name is detective eagleshark
D Em D Em D
i got eyes like an eagle that can see in the dark
C D C D
i specialize in cannibals and crimes of that sort
B7
my anger is long but my patience is short
[verse]
I get lots of ladies cause i'm so cool
Nobody's ever called me a fool
I've been called dangerous, been called intense
I am over brimming with confidence
[verse chord progression]
I'm A Sad, Sad Hank
Song A Day #734
First Singing Note:D
[verse-A]
D B A G
Being an evil cowboy alien ninja
D B A G
is very lonely and sad sometimes
D B A G
Also, I'm 13 and I'm very hungry
D B A G
free from my mom but i committed crime
[verse-B]
G 
i wish i had a family
A
that felt like i do
B A
about being a cannibal
G
it's the very best food
[verse-B]
why am i so alone
doesn't anyone feel the same
oh look coming down the street
they look like a gang
The Robot Xombies
Song A Day #735
First Singing Note:D
[instrumental intro]
D Bm A G
[chorus]
D
yo! we're the robot xombies
Bm
come on dude you look so hungry
A
we breed children for the eating
G
this kind of meat you can't be beating
[verse]
(same chords as chorus)
we're the robot xombies
and we're like a family
fine young cannibals
flesh like candy
come on kid
we'll take you in
teach you tricks
and defend you
nobody loves you
nobody knows you
but we love you
and we knows what you
want fresh fresh meat
so come live with us and
get off the street
[chorus x2]
We Eat the Meat, Then Sell it on the Street
Song A Day #736
First Singing Note:F
[chorus]
Fm
We eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
[verse]
Fm
see kid we eat the meat
then we sell what's leftover
Cm
we sell to everyone
even detective eagleshark
Fm
our patented breeding machine
it can do no wrong
Cm
fresh meat to eat today
and then we sing this song
[chorus]
We eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
eat the meat, then we sell it on the street
Eagle Shark Eats a Sandwich
Song A Day #737
First Singing Note:E
[verse: chords repeat for remainder of song]
A E
There's nothing quite like
F#m D
a great big wonderful sandwich
with mayo and mustard
and meat lots of meat i love meat
there's these kids downtown
and they sell the best meat
i've ever tasted it is simply divine
if you're a connassouir like me
then you know you've got to try it
it's unlike anything i've ever had it's prime
What's this, a finger?
Why i oughtta
EagleShark Raids the Robot Xombies
Song A Day #738
First Singing Note:E
[verse - A]
E
I'm coming to get you
I'm coming to get you
C
I am the EagleShark
D
And I you have lit the spark!
E
Don't try to run away
I'm faster any day
C
I'm part shark and part eagle
D
escape attempts are so feeble 

[verse - B]
E G
oh no what am i gonna do
C
he's gonna arrest me and i
D
don't wanna go to jail
for a million years
E
you can run but you can't hide
G 
Hank i'm gonna get your this time
C
You are a cannibal
D
You are so terrible
[ending]
E 
You evil cowboy alien ninja
C D
You're going away for a million years
Hank In Jail
Song A Day #739
First Singing Note:A
[intro] x2
F Am
[verse]
F Am
Yeah I'm in Jail and I want to get out
F 
Three square meals a day
Am
But all I can think about
Bb
Finding some real food
C
some real flesh
Bb C
none of this frozen crap i want it fresh
F
Jail
Help from Lucy the Lunch Lady
Song A Day #740
First Singing Note:C
[verse - A]
F
Hey pretty lunch lady
Bb
Ain't this world crazy
Db Eb
What's a girl like you doing in here

[verse]
Hank I've heard about
you and so don't try me out
You're evil cowboy alien 
ninja charms won't work

[verse - B]
Fm
We could be lovers
Db
um, no
Fm
we could be friend
Db
well...
Fm
could you bring me
Db
what..what?
Fm
somethings
Db
oh, hank
[verse - C]
Fm C
Well I need a miniature mind mill
Eb C
also I need some spoons
Fm C
In addition I need five thousand corks
Eb Db
and, oh yeah a dalorean
[ending]
Db
okay hank
but only because you asked so
nice nice nice nice
Hank Digs a Hole
Song A Day #741
First Singing Note:A
Am E Am
I'm just digging a hole
E
digging a hole 
digging a hole
Am E Am E
trying to build, trying to build
a time machine
Am E Am E
Lunch Lady Lucy put all the things i need 
in the parking lot
F C
A miniature windmill
G D
some spoons
F C G D
5000 corks and delorian
Am E Am
so i'm just digging a hole
E 
so i can leave this place
Am E Am
I'm just digging a hole
E
digging a hole
digging a hole
The Time Racer
Song A Day #742
First Singing Note:C
[intro]
F C Bb C
[verse]
F C
60 years of non stop work
Bb C
and now it's done, done, done
F C
Time Racer oh Time Racer
Bb C
you and I are gonna have some fun

[verse]
Let's go into the future
When my sentence up
I wanna travel the stars
In a futuristic space ship
oh yeah
[chorus]
F C Bb C
Go time, go time, go time racer
F C Bb C
Go time, go time, go time racer
F
Oh yeah
Hank Explores the Future
Song A Day #743
First Singing Note:B
[intro]
E A B
The future
E A B
E A B
Welcome to the future
E A B
Welcome to the future
[verse]
E
Hello?
Hello?
A B
Is there anybody there?
E A
It seems I'm all alone again
B
Does anybody care?

[verse]
The world's empty
I see no sign of life
Just one big space ship
All covered in blue lights
[chorus]
E
There are no people in the future
A B
There are no people
E
There are no people in the future
A B
No people at all
[chorus]
There are no people in the future
I wonder where the people went
There are no people in the future
Let me try my people card
Ahooooo
where are all my people
Ahooooo
Where are all my people
I guess i'll fly away now
Lucy The Lunch Lady Follows Hank
Song A Day #744
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
C
Hank, how could you?
Em
after all these years?
Edim
60 summers come and gone
Am
And now I fear
Gm 
That you've gone for good
F
But I have a plan
A
Because I have my 
Delorean
[verse]
I'm gonna find you no matter what it takes
Love doesn't stop for time and space
Whenever you are 
Wherever you be
You'll be reunited with your lunch lady
[outro – lead guitar over verse chords]
Hank In Space
Song A Day #745
First Singing Note:G
[intro] x3
Em G D C
[verse]
Em
Hank in space
G
a cannibal in space
D
Floating along
C
i'm the human race
Em
Past all the planets
G
past nebulai
D C
So beautiful that i could cry

[verse]
All alone All alone All alone again
Nobody to eat, nobody to hold
All alone all alone all alone again, gain
nobody to eat or to defend
[outro – verse chords] x2
The Husafaria Nebula
Song A Day #746
First Singing Note:E
[intro] x2
E A C B
[verse]
E
Hey man that ship is raw
i'm the husfaria nebula
A 
This is my little bit o spaceified turf
C B
You're trespassing and you know what's worse?
E
There's a woman chasing you
She's hot on the trail
She looks like lunch lady with a lunch pail
A
use the force and do what you can
C B
I'd go looking for jonathan mann
Nikki's Lady Lumps
Song A Day #747
First Singing Note:A
[chords during dialogue]
D A Bm A
[verse]
Dm C Dm
Nikki is 21 years old
Bb C F
And a mother of 2
Gm C
She’s a powerful woman
Bb C Am
With a powerful point of view
[verse]
Nikki don’t need no man whose imagination’s a stump
She’s a woman on fire
With her lovely lady lumps
[chorus - A]
Dm F
Nikki, you’ll be a midwife
Gm C
Nikki, you win at your life
Dm F
Nikki, you’ll raise your kids up
Gm C
Nikki, with all of your love
[chorus - B]
Dm C Bb C
Oh, Nikki x5
Nikki x3
[verse]
Nikki is a single mom
Getting by day by day
She can lay the law down
Upon whatever comes her way
[verse]
Nikki don’t need a man
Some halfhearted, spineless chump
She wants a man that’s full
And ready for her lady lumps
[chorus - A]
Nikki, you will find a true love
Nikki, whatever that is made of
Nikki, you’ll raise your kids up
Nikki, with all of your love
[chorus - B]
Oh, Nikki x8
[bridge - A]
Bb C
So shake your lovely lady lumps, Nikki
F Dm
Shake them in the face of those who don’t appreciate them
Bb C
Shake your lovely lady lumps, Nikki
F Dm
Some day not far away you’ll show them all they’re overrated
Bb C
Oh, Nikki x2
F Gm
You have every right to be dicky
Bb
Cuz love’s tricky
C
And sticky
F Gm
But some day you’ll find someone who can be
[bridge - B]
Bb C
The hunk to your lady lumps
Bb C
The tree trunk to your lady lumps
Bb C
The soulful funk to your lady lumps
Bb C
The ??? monk to your lady lumps
[bridge - A]
So shake your lovely lady lumps, Nikki
Shake them in the face of those who don’t appreciate them
Shake your lovely lady lumps, Nikki
Some day not far away you’ll show them all they’re overrated
Nikki, oh, Nikki
You have every right to be dicky
Love’s tricky
And sticky
But some day you’ll find someone who can be
[ending]
Bb C
All that you want him to be
F
Nikki
Hank is Paranoid
Song A Day #748
First Singing Note:A#
[verse - A]
F# G#
I don’t like people watching me
B C#
Eyes on me that I can’t see
F#
But the fear is real
G#
It’s not in my head
B
Lucy’s out there
C#
Waiting and watching
[verse - A]
Don’t call me paranoid
I’m just annoyed
That I can’t see her
Don’t call me paranoid
I’m her boy
She’s my girl
[verse - B]
D#m C#
But I don’t wanna see her
D#m C#
Because then I’ll want to eat her
B
I’m an evil cowboy alien ninja
C#
That’s just what I do
[verse - A]
Don’t call me paranoid
I’m just annoyed
That I can’t see her
Don’t call me paranoid
I’m her boy
She’s my girl
Hank Goes For a Walk
Song A Day #749
First Singing Note:C
[verse - A]
C Am Em
I went on a walk on a planet M class
F C G
I took off my shoes and waded through the grass
[verse - A]
I felt something stare at me, which you know i hate
I looked around to find the eyes and set them straight
[verse - B]
F C
I found a turtle staring at me
F C
So I walked over and said howdy
G F
why's a varmint like you starting at me with them big red eyes
G F
What I ever do to you?
G
and he said
[chorus] x2
C Em
The Banquet of Gluttony
Am F
The Banquet of Gluttony
Dm
The Banquet of Gluttony
F G
You and I
[bridge]
Em
I was confused
F
I knew not what I was supposed to do
Em
I was confused
F
And I had no shoes
Em G
I said could you repeat that startling plaice of news
[chorus] x2
[ending]
Em
I was confused
The Crunchies Song
Song A Day #750
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
Em
[verse]
Em D C
114 challengers rode into the palace grand
Em D C
they each knelt before the king, kissed the ruby on his hand
D B
"I have brought you here to battle for supremacy
Am C D Em
of the land they call Silicon Valley"
D Em D Em D Em
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
[verse]
Venture capitalists there were and developers of apps 
Some arrived that had even survived the old tech bubble collapse 
But who would be victorious at the Crunchie tournament 
the audience waited breathless and anticipant 
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
[verse - B]
G D Am C
2010 2010
G D Am C
This was the year of location
G D Am C
Groupon and clones changed commerce
G D Am C
facebook traffic beat google's for the first time

[bridge]
Em C
Instagram made sharing photos second nature
Em C
Wikileaks started showing cracks in the armor
D C
Angry Birds stole hours from each day
D C
Facebook privacy confused us all, Hooray!
B
The iPhone and iPad came from outerspace
Am C D Em
The Microsoft kin fell flat, flat on it's face
[verse - A]
The stage is set and the internet has all had their say 
The players sit upon their steed, their banners on display 
the king sits upon his throne, his face a toothy grin 
good luck to all of you, let the tournament begin
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Fans of Apple
Song A Day #751
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
D
The Apple 1
A
The Apple 2
G A
They mean to me what they mean to you
D A
I used to sit at an Apple 2V
G
Playing King’s Specimen
A
I was so happy
D A
My babysitter, she had a Mac
G A
I could turn it on all by myself
D A
Sound effects from Dark Castle
G A
Ringing in my ears
[chorus - A]
D A
We’re the fans of Apple
Bm G
And our hearts are strong and true
D A
Fans of Apple
Bm G
And we always follow through
[chorus - B]
F#m G D
Though the company almost died in 1997
A
We were promised then, right by the speech
G A
Jobs turned it up to 11
[verse]
I had an iBook G3 then a Powerbook G4
When the G3 got stolen
Had a 15 inch titanium
Man that thing was golden
A first gen iPod
Just 5 gigs
But back then that was so big
The first Airport
First wireless networking in my dorm
[chorus - A]
We’re the fans of Apple
And our hearts are strong and true
We’re the fans of Apple
And we always follow through
[chorus - B]
Though the company almost died in 1997
We were promised then, right by the speech
Jobs turned it up to 11
[chorus - A]
We’re the fans of Apple
And our hearts are strong and true
We’re the fans of Apple
And we always follow through
A Brief History of Macworld
Song A Day #752
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords]
Am G F
C F C
[verse]
Am G F C F C
in 1997, steve jobs took the stage
Am G F
after 12 long years returning
C G
ushering in a whole new age
Am G F
he announced a deal with Microsoft
E7
that people didn't very much like
Am G F
but they were ecstatic to see him
C G
it was the dawn after the long long night
[chorus] x2
F
at macworld
mac
G
world
C Am
it all happened at macworld
F
macworld

[verse]
in 1998 steve dropped the imac
and the powerbook G3 there was no going back
in 1999 the ibook was released airport seemed like magic
steve the prophet and the priest

[chorus] x2
[bridge]
Am C F G
OS ten and the G4 Cube
Am C F G
iTunes and the powerbook g4
Am C F G
the first flat screen iMac yeah
Am C F G
17 and 12 inch powerbooks more
Am C F G
iMac G5 powerpc still alive
Am C F G
mac mini ipod shuffle and iwork, oh
Am C F G
intel core duo imacs ready to go
Am C 
it all happened at mac world 
F G
it all happened at mac world
[chorus]x2
[verse]
in 2007, the keynote was all Steve
we knew something big was coming
what was it going to be?
and just like that he said it: the iphone was finally here
i stood up from my computer did a dance and let out a cheer
at macworld
[chorus]x4
[outro – chorus chords] x4
Get Better, Steve Jobs
Song A Day #753
First Singing Note:C
[intro chords] x3
C Am G F
[verse]
C Am
in your heart there's a message plain
G
and it cuts through the doubt and pain
there's a crowd singing loud
F
and your proud to lead them
C Am
change the world in ways that speak
G
to the blind perfection that you seek
F
and you grow make it so but you know you need them

[chorus]
C 
GET BETTER, GET BETTER
Am
GET BETTER, GET BETTER
G F
draw a line to the time when we'll find you strong and healthy
C 
GET BETTER, GET BETTER
Am
GET BETTER, GET BETTER
G F 
take the time to design and to find what it is that you need

[verse]
i wanna see you back on stage
i wanna feel so amazed
i watch you bring us through and you do convince me
life is funny and life is strange
it takes us places we cannot change
stranding tall hear the call 
given all your history
[chorus]
[verse]
in your heart there's a message plain
and it cuts through the doubt and pain
there's a crowd singing loud 
and your proud to lead them
change the world in ways that speak
to the blind perfection that you seek
and you grow make it so but you know you need them
The Mac vs. PC Conciliatory Song
Song A Day #754
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords]x2
F C Am Bb
[chorus]
F C
you can use a mac, you can use a mac
Am Bb
you can use pc, pc
F C
it really doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter
Am Bb
to me, to me
[verse - A] (rapped)
(key change to F minor)
Fm
exchanges are heated on internet forums
all semblance of civility is gone decorum
is lacking with people attacking one another the debate is pointless hear me sisters and brothers

[verse – B]
(back to F Major)
F C
macs are good
Dm
pcs are also good
Bb
just stop fighting
F C
or if you're gonna fight
Dm
don't fight about computers
Bb
fight about something that matters
Live Xbox vs. Playstation
[chorus]x3
Daring Fireball
Song A Day #755
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
F
Daring Fireball, yeah
Dm
For astute observation
F
Daring Fireball, oh
Dm
Informed speculation
Bb
Daring Fireball
C
With John Gruber
F Dm
Daring fireball, fire
F Dm
Daring fireball, fire
[verse]
Daring Fireball, oh
For in depth analysis
Daring Fireball, yeah
Doesn’t get any better than this
Oh, John Gruber
Don’t follow him on Twitter
Unless you really like baseball
He really likes baseball
John Gruber, yeah
[ending]
Bb C F
John Gruber, daring fireball
The Apple Patent Song
Song A Day #756
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords] x2
F C Dm Bb
[chorus]
F C
Apple patent
Dm Bb
It’s fun to think about them
F C
Even if they won’t be used
Dm Bb
It’s still fun to guess
[chorus]
Apple patent
It’s fun to think about them
Even if they won’t be used
It’s still fun to guess
[verse]
F C
An Apple bike
Dm Bb
What would that be like?
F C Dm Bb
I would ride it all around the town
F C Dm Bb
Apple TV with motion control
F C Dm Bb
Some kind of wand to make your pictures roll
F C Dm Bb
Solar technology inside a touch screen
F C
A thing of beauty
Dm Bb
But what does it mean
[pre-chorus]
Am Dm
These things won’t necessarily happen
Am Bb C
But it’s fun to speculate
[verse]
A kind of touch screen iMac
Oh yeah
Swivel pivot on its back
What about using your iPhone to unlock your door
I never thought of that before
Is this a Bluetooth, ear piece, iPod Shuffle like device
Cuz that would be cool
[pre-chorus]
These things won’t necessarily happen
But it’s fun to speculate
[verse]
Sharable apps
Oh yeah
They could be here perhaps
Oh yeah
Camera peripherals
Uh huh
Don’t these already exist?
I think so
A laptop with a built in projector
Now that’s something that would be really bright
[pre-chorus]
These things won’t necessarily happen
But it’s fun to speculate
[chorus]
Apple patent
It’s fun to think about them
Even if they won’t be used
It’s still fun to guess
Apple patent
It’s fun to think about them
Even if they won’t be used
It’s still fun to guess
Oh
MacWorld Rehersal
Song A Day #757
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
Am G F C
in 1997, steve jobs took the stage
Am G F
after 12 long years returning
C G
ushering in a whole new age
Am G F
he announced a deal with Microsoft
E(7)
that people didn't very much like
Am G F
but they were ecstatic to see him
C G
it was the dawn after the long, long night
[chorus]
F
at macworld
G
macworld
C (Em) Am
it all happened at macworld
F
macworld

[verse]
in 1998 steve dropped the imac
and the powerbook G3 there was no going back
Cuz then he had a heart attack
in 1999 the ibook was released airport seemed like magic
steve the prophet, Steve the priest
[chorus] x2
macworld
macworld
it all happened at macworld
macworld

[bridge]
Am C F G
OS ten and the G4 Cube
Am C F G
iTunes and the powerbook g4
Am C F G
the first flat screen iMac yeah
Am C F G
17 and 12 inch powerbooks more
Am C F G
iMac G5 powerpc still alive
Am C F G
mac mini ipod shuffle and iwork, oh
Am C F G
intel core duo imacs ready to go
Am C F G
it all happened at mac world 

[chorus] x2
[verse]
in 2007, the keynote was all Steve
we knew something big was coming
what was it going to be?
and just like that he said it: the iphone was finally here
i stood up from my computer did a dance and let out a cheer

[chorus] x2
The iPad 2
Song A Day #758
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
G F
I don't know bout you
G F
but i'm excited about the ipad 2
 G F D
cause it's gonna be really cool, oh yeah
G F
with cameras that number 2
G F
and an a5 chip to boot
G F D
with speakers that are improved, oh yeah
[chorus]
F G D
Thats the iPad 2
F G D
Thats the iPad 2
[ending]
C
But when's it coming out
G
I don't know
I Like Brunch
Song A Day #759
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
Bb C F
I like brunch! X2
Gm Gm F(C on second time)
Brunch likes me! X2
Dm Dm C
Let’s eat brunch! X2
F
Today!
Ostrich Song
Song A Day #760
First Singing Note: C#
[intro chords] x2
E F#m
[verse]
B A E
ostrich in new zealand
B A E
can i be your friend i wanna hug you how you feeling?
B A E
ostrich stop for a visit
B A E
is there something you want or need right now what is it?
F#m 
cause the sun is shining
A E
and a breeze is blowing too
F#m 
we stopped driving
A E B
forgot about where we're going for you

[chorus]
E B
ostrich ostrich
F#m A B 
though you can't fly
E B A
you are a most impressive bird
E B
ostrich ostrich
F#m A B
look into my eyes
E B A
i love you with a love that's not absurd

[verse]
ostrich in mattamatta
i wish i knew your mauri name i know oughta
ostrich in the field
i wanna hop up on your back with a sword and shield
like joust for atari
oh ostrich i'm sorry ohhh
i'm sure you get that a lot
from tiny snot nosed fools
[chorus]
Coffee Burnt Tongue
Song A Day #761
First Singing Note:D#
[intro chords]x4
B E
[verse]
B
coffee
B A B
coffee burnt tongue
A B
and tea in my throat
A B
and Emaline's note
A G#m C#m
in the morning sun
B
coffee burnt tongue

[verse]
under
my coffee burnt tongue
an unswallowed pill 
that undoubtedly will
start an argument
about my coffee burnt tongue

[chorus]
C#m A
if you could see what i see
E B
these visions inside me
C#m A
fog is condensing
E B
and angels come riding
C#m A
each step i'm taking
E B
some sin i'm erasing
C#m A
standing there naked
E B
sleeping, untasting

[verse]
my coffee
my coffee burnt tongue 
the words in my mouth
i can't get them out
air stuck in my lungs
coffee burnt tongue 

loving 
my coffee burnt tongue 
learning why it exists
in my furiousness
i come undone
but my coffee burnt tongue 
my coffee burnt tongue 

[chorus]
if you could see what i see
an earthquake, a flooding
the mystery unfolding
my tongue is exploding
knowing, not knowing
the hand that i'm holding
and always that feeling
animals are growing
[verse]
coffee 
coffee burnt tongue
and tea in my throat
and Emaline's note
in the morning sun
my coffee burnt tongue
Michi's Finger Dance
Song A Day #762
(No Lyrics)
[part – A] x2
B D#m C#m F#
[part – B] x 2
E F#
[part – A] x2
[part – B] x2
[part – A] x1
Tomorrow Comes Along
Song A Day #763
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
Gm C F Bb Am
cringing in the corner and laughing at the sunspears
Gm C F Bb Am
spinning out infinity while emptying my spuntears
Eb Dm
i don't want to go home
Cm C
don't want to go home, don't want to just yet

[verse]
golden light from high above the corner store is boarded
bubbles rainbow on my face and my face distorted 
i don't want to go home
don't want to go home, don't want to just yet

[chorus]
D E
tomorrow comes along
B D
and i write another song
D E
tomorrow comes along
B D C Bb A
and i write another song
[verse]
whisper in the darkness and breaking light of dawning
blisters in my memory shake the dream i'm yawning
i don't want to go home
don't want to go home just yet
[verse]
steaming life volcano ashes on the natives
aces high 4 of a kind i wonder how he'll play it
i don't want to go home
don't want to go home, don't want to go home
[chorus]
tomorrow comes along
and i write another song
tomorrow comes along
and i write another song
My Band
Song A Day #764
First Singing Note: G
[verse]
Eb Bb
will you come to my show tonight
Eb Ab 
it'll be really fun and i'm baking cookies
Cm Bb G7 Ab
vegan cookies are the best
Eb 
my bands really good
Bb
we rock pretty hard
Eb 
if you know the words
Ab
you can sing along
Cm Bb G7 Ab 
we'll cheer you up if you are depressed 

[chorus]
Eb
my band:
Ab
the rock cookie bottoms
Eb
my band:
Bb
i'm so glad i got em
Eb
my band
Ab
we rock and roll
Eb
my band
Bb
we have heart and soul

[verse]
we sing about polar bears ployamourous
we sing about ardipithicus ramidus
oh we sing about link and zelda too
the songs are likely to get stuck in your head
your sweet tooth is likely to be fed
everything old will suddenly seem news
[chorus] x3
my band:
the rock cookie bottoms
my band:
i'm so glad i got em
my band
we rock and roll
my band
we have heart and soul
You Can Do It, Nicole
Song A Day #765
First Singing Note:E
[intro chords] x2
C Bb F
Am G
[chorus]
C Bb
You can do it
F
You can do it
Am
Come on, Nicole
G C
You can do it
Bb
You can do it
F
You can do it
Am
Come on, Nicole
G
You can do it
[verse]
Am F
When you pass your driving test
Am G
Your new car won’t smell like smoke
Am
When it’s windy in LA
F Am G
You won’t have to go outside and be in danger of the ??? front
[chorus]
You can do it
You can do it
Come on, Nicole
You can do it
You can do it
You can do it
Come on, Nicole
You can do it
[bridge]
F Am
I believe in you
Bb F Am
Oh, I believe in you
Bb
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
F Am Bb
I believe in, I believe in, I believe in
C
You, you, you
[outro]
F Bb
You can do it, Nicole
F Bb
You can do it, Nicole
F Bb
You can do it, Nicole
C F
You can do it, Nicole
Wren the Polyamorous Bear (Live!)
Song A Day #766
First Singing Note:B
[intro chords]
E F#m D A
[verse]
E F#m D
I knew a polar bear
A
His name was Wren
E F#m D A
He fell in love with a flock of penguins
E F#m
But he was polyamorous
D A
He believed it could work
E F#m
But the penguins were monogamous
D A
So he left feeling like a big jerk
[chorus]
E F#m
Oh, Wren
D F#m A
Polyamorous polar bear
E F#m
Oh, Wren
D F#m A
Polyamorous polar bear
[verse]
He sought refuge in his iceberg home
But the ice was melting and so he set out alone
Wandering the tundra, searching for love
Cursing the ground that he walked upon
And resenting the sun above
[chorus]
Oh, Wren
Polyamorous polar bear
Oh, Wren
Polyamorous polar bear
[verse]
Two years of walking
He arrived in New York
He got a flat I Brooklyn
The fish market was his work
One day while catching the subway
He was in a big hurry
He bumped into a girl that was dressed as a polar bear furry
She introduced him to her friends
[chorus]
Oh, Wren
You finally found a new home
Yeah, Wren
The polyamorous powar bear
Oh yeah
You Went to Bennington
Song A Day #767
First Singing Note:Eb
[intro]
Eb
Money's tight
Cm
there's never enough
Ab
I know I'm living
Gm
job to job
Cm
to job
Bb
it's kind of a pain
Ab Bb
each 1st of the month i feel the strain

[verse]
Cm
but wherever you are
Bb
whatever you're doing
Gm Ab
whatever insane dream you're pursuing
Cm
a couple of bucks
Bb
to your onetime home
Gm Ab Bb
that warm cocoon the stepping stone

[chorus]
Eb
Went to Bennington
Ab Cm Bb
did you get naked at midnight breakfast
Eb
Went to Bennington
Ab Cm Bb
did you dress up as the opposite sexes
Eb
Went to Bennington
Ab Cm Bb
did you fall in love with a beautiful girl there
Eb
Went to Bennington
Ab Bb
did you have deep conversations at the end of the world

[verse]
i know it seems lame
to ask for money
when you barely have enough
to keep it all running 
one day we'll all be rich
with any luck
but 5 or 10 bucks
it isn't that much

[chorus]
Went to Bennington
did you see all the awesome bands at sunfest
Went to Bennington
did you spend 36 hours on a project with no rest
Went to Bennington
did you get laid and lots of bruises at rollerama
Went to Bennington
did you do the walk of shame with yesterdays clothes as your pajamas
Went to Bennington
did you fall in love with a beautiful girl there
Went to Bennington
did you have deep conversations at the end of the world
Went to Bennington
did you get laid and lots of bruises at rollerama
Went to Bennington
did you do the walk of shame with yesterdays clothes as your pajamas
And the Body Sings
Song A Day #768
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
G Em C D
Move your body if you can't sing
G Em C D 
Just make a sound if you don't feel like dancing
G Em C D
I am here now. I am 7 sons.
G Em C D G 
My body sings to the beat and sound of seven drums
A C D G A
oh. And the body sings, oh.
C D G A C D
And the body sings.
[verse]
Legs that propel, hands for grasping
And I sit still feel time lapsing
And the tears fall and then I'm dry
Turn my body off put it on standby
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[verse]
I can't move
And I can't stop moving
And despite myself
I can't stop improving
Tripping down the stars I fall and shatter bones
And I break my head 
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[verse]
In a muscle, in a tendon 
In my blood at a rate that is ascending 
Stretch it out now, curl up tight
And the body sings in the stage fright
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[verse]
There's an earthquake, there's a flooding
There's a cut now the countertops are bloody
I hear the wind blow, I smell the fire
And my body sings, I turn it up higher
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[bridge]
Em D C 
I can't move, and I can't stop moving.
Em D C
And it's by myself, I know I'll never stop improving.
B C D
Tripping down the steps, I fall and shatter bones and I break my head
[verse]
Use it all now in combination 
Happy birthday, congratulations 
It's a heat wave and electric
You can do it 
You'll never make it 
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[verse]
Break dance break down:
See it smell it taste it touch it
Feel it as the waves pound
LIke the president
Like a Saudi King
Like clock work
oh. And the body sings, oh.
And the body sings.
[outro]x4
A C D G
The body sings, The body sings.
I Just Can't Reach It
Song A Day #769
First Singing Note:G
[intro]
Gm
i'm reaching so far
Eb
i'm reaching so hard
F
i'm reaching...
D
but i just can't make it

[verse - A]
Gm
i know what i want
Bb
but i just can't reach it
Gm
i know what i need
C
but i just can't reach it
Gm
i know what i want
Ab
but i never can reach it
Gm D
[verse - A]
people lay dying
i just can't reach it
everything is changing 
i just can't reach it
no matter what i do
i never can reach it

[verse – B]
F Bb
gotta remember to breathe
C D
and still it's all just so frustrating
Bb Gm 
blinking and i'm suffocating
C
the walls come crashing in 

[verse - B]
gotta remember to feel
but the weight of the days just passing by me
don't give up i just keep trying
to reach it
[verse - A]
Well, I know what i want 
but i just can't reach it
i know what i need
but i just can't reach it
i know what i want
but i never can reach it
[verse - A]
people lay dying
i just can't reach it
everything is changing 
i just can't reach it
no matter what i do
i never can reach it
[verse - B]
gotta remember to love
in as many was as possible
somehow don't single out
as the walls come crashing in

[verse - B]
gotta remember to sit
but the shit gets going and i start to fading
blinking and i'm suffocating
D
to reach it
[verse – B chords] x2
Sha na na na na, sha na na na na
[verse - A]
Well, I know what i want 
but i just can't reach it
i know what i need
but i just can't reach it
i know what i want
but i never can reach it
[verse - A]
people lay dying
i just can't reach it
everything is changing 
i just can't reach it
no matter what i do
i never can reach it
The Red Panda Hop
Song A Day #770
First Singing Note:C#
[verse]
A D E
two red pandas trying to get in the house
A F#m E
two red pandas trying to figure it out
A D E
one red panda starts hopping around
A F#m E
and singing as he's jumps from the ground

[chorus]
A
hop hop hop
D E
to get what you want
A
hop hop hop
F#m E
keep hoppin on
A
hop hop hop
D E
and you don't stop
A F#m E

[verse]
three red pandas are now on the scene
prowling around trying to find some cuisine 
but the one red panda has the idea
and all three voices ring out clear

[chorus]
you gotta hop hop hop
if you wanna get what you want
you gotta hop hop hop
and you hoppin and you don't stop
you gotta hippity hoppity hop
if you wanna get what you want
you gotta hippity hoppity hop
and you hippity hop, you don't stop
[verse]
the red panda was classified
as a raccoon and i can see why
But now it's got it's own family
so they jump for joy and they sing loudly 

[chorus]
hop hop hop
to get what you want
hop hop hop
keep hoppin on
hop hop hop
hopping is fun
hop hop hop
red pandas don't stop

hop hop hop
and you don't stop
Snow Fort
Song A Day #771
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C Em
No school, no school today
Am F G
I was tired, I’m wide awake
C Em
I heard it on the radio
Am F
Put on your snow pants
G
Come on, let’s go
[verse]
No school, no school today
Let’s see how many forts we’ll make
The plow’s plowed snow 20 feet high
Start digging, I’ll see you on the other side
Mom, I’m missing all the fun x4
Can Jonathan come out to play?
There’s no school today
The snow’s piled high
And everybody’s asking why
[bridge]
F G
Cause Jonathan’s got the flu
C Em Am
And he’s curled up eating chicken soup
Em Am
Maybe in a little bit
Em Am
He’ll feel better and up to it
F G
But for now he needs his rest
[verse]
No school, no school today
Don’t listen to what they say
They say we’re too young to know
But I love you
Put on your snow pants
Come on, let’s go
We’ll build a home out of the snow
We’ll build a family out of snow
Snow, snow, snow
Rodent to Rodent, Father to Son
Song A Day #772
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
Bb F
is it a cosmic mystery
Eb F
the way that things work out?
Bb F
is it simply preordained
Eb Cm
or can it go another route?
Bb
i know
Gm
i know
Eb F
i don't believe in god
Eb F
but i don't believe in coincidence
Eb F
except for very few instances
Eb F
i have no explanation but this

[chorus]
Bb Gm
rodent to rodent
Eb F
father to son
Bb Gm
through distance and time
Bb Gm 
the heart would not be undone
Bb
i know
Gm
i know
Eb F
sometimes I don't know what I believe
Eb F Bb
but i believe in love
Gm Eb F
[verse]
what brings us all together
though we wander separate paths
like newton's second law
drawn in by the mass
i know i know
sometimes science can't explain
complicated relationships
of humans and the long ellipse
that leads us to back to where we
started from
[chorus]
rodent to rodent
father to son
through distance and time
the heart would not be undone
i know
i know
sometimes I don't know what I believe
but i believe in love

[verse]
what makes us similar
what marks our differences
it's somewhere deep inside us
but we don't know where it is
i know
i know
that nature plays a part
but the recipe is complicated
a twisting turning never straight
ed path that leads us back to where
we started from
[chorus]
rodent to rodent
father to son
through distance and time
the heart would not be undone
i know
i know
sometimes I don't know what I believe
but i believe in love


The Beast Pageant
Song A Day #773
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
D
i spend all day staring at screens
G
my words deferred to machines
D
i gotta level up up and out
G D
i gotta spend more time outta the house

[pre-chorus]
G
i want to dance more
A
allow a chance for
D
big and little things to happen to me
G
let's get startin'
A
grow a garden
D A
big and little things start growing

[chorus] x2
D 
i want to roll along
G
i want to roll along
D
i want to roll along
A
in the beast pageant
[verse]
dig a hole and take a swim
look in the mirror and talk to him
pick up a hammer and tear it down
wash your troubles until they've drowned

[pre-chorus]
[chorus]x2
[verse]
start the fire my heart designed
put out the fire in my mind
shut out the frivolous and the crazed
open my eyes to be amazed
[pre-chorus]
[chorus]x4
Deep Thoughts with a Capybara
Song A Day #774
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
F Gm
life is simple
Bb Am
life is complicated
F Gm
one day it's the worst
Bb Am
the next it's the greatest
Dm Gm 
from a single point
Bb C
all outcomes are made
F Gm
each moment anoints
Bb Am
a rolling cascade 

[pre-chorus]
Dm
and i
Gm
just sit here
C
thinking all these thoughts
as the water keeps falling

[chorus]x4
Bb C F (Dm)
the water is falling on my head
[bridge]x2
F
Capybara Hey!
Gm
Capybara ho!
Bb
Everybody sing!
Am
H20!
[chorus]x4
Happy Birthday, Thomas Hughes
Song A Day #775a
First Singing Note:F#
[verse]
D G
Happy Birthday Thomas
Bm A
Your chord progressions confuse us
D G
But they're merry, merry colors
Bm A
They wash away our blueses 

[verse]
Happy Birthday Thomas
We know you won't refuse us
We glad that you're our brother
We wish that we were Hughes's

D G D
Happy Birthday Thomas!
Who the Hell is Arcade Fire
Song A Day #775b
First Singing Note:Ab
[chorus]x2
Fm Cm Eb Bb
Who the hell is arcade fire and why did they win a grammy
[verse - A]
Fm Ab Db Bbm
Who is arcade fire and why did they win album of the year
Fm Eb Fm Eb
Esperanza Spalding? WHO THE $%#^
Db Eb C
Grammys have something against famous people

[verse - A]
Who in the hell were those suburbs ppl
that won album of the year?
omg really i'm pissed
what is an arcade fire and why are people excited for it?

[chorus]
[verse - B]
Ab Db
arcade fire is an indie rock band
Eb Ab
based in montreal
Ab Db
i think you'd really like them if you give them a chance
Eb Ab
they are indie but by no means small
[verse - B]
they've sold out madison square garden
they been number 1 on the charts
before you let your heart harden
let a little of them into your heart
remember this? 

[ending]
Ab Db Eb Ab
i bet when you saw that trailer you went online to look them up
Db Ab
arcade fire, now you know who they are
Db Ab
arcade fire, they're pretty damn big stars
Hatred and Indifference
Song A Day #776
First Singing Note:F
[intro chords]x2
(Fm Ab C Db) x3
(F Eb Bb C) x2
[verse]
Fm Db C
i left my home in a wheelbarrow
Fm Db C
i learned to sing from a blind sparrow
Fm Bb
the rain started falling and it turned to hail
Fm Eb Db C
and i stepped on a rusty nail

[verse]
the day turned white in the blink of an eye
i couldn't see the trucks that were passing me by
i sat beneath a crabapple tree
one fell down and said to me

[chorus]
Fm
we're all just
Ab
poor imitations
Db Bb
present company included
Fm
when you
Ab 
cast no shadow
Db Bb
you'll finally free
[chorus]
when you 
love everybody
then your love's diluted
hatred 
and indifference
it's evolutionary 

[verse]
doobie do wah wah
doobie do wah wah
this was the sound i heard
and let me describe the scene i saw

[verse]
gi joes in a widening gyre
a bottomless pit with an endless fire
invention stuping necessity 
and a new born baby that said to me
with eyes wide as cute as can berq
[chorus]x2
we're all just
poor imitations
present company included
when you
cast no shadow
you'll finally free
when you 
love everybody
then your love's diluted
hatred 
and indifference
it's evolutionary
Apart on Valentines Day
Song A Day #777
First Singing Note:B
[intro chords] x2
E D A
[chorus]
E D A
Why is love hard?
E B
It builds you up ‘til it tear you apart
E D A E B
No one will ever know just what’s in your heart
[verse]
C#m B F#
‘Til you show them x2
C#m B F#
Know them
C#m B F#
Show them
C#m A
Apart on Valentine’s Day
C#m A
It doesn’t matter anyway
A B
Cause I’m here and you’re there
And it happens everywhere
[chorus]
Why is love hard?
It builds you up ‘til it tears you apart
No one will ever know what’s in your heart
Go! With Zach Anner!
Song A Day #778
First Singing Note:B
[intro]
E A
C#m B
[verse]
E A
you can plan and plan and plan
a trip
C#m B
but things go wrong and start
G#m
to slip out of control
A B
you gotta learn to roll and play
E A
when it tastes and looks and smells
like you
C#m B
made a wrong turn back at timbuktu
G#m A
life give you wheelchairs
B
you gotta make lemonade

[chorus]
E C#m
you gotta, go with Zach, go with Zach,
A B
go with Zach, Anner
E C#m
go with Zach, go with Zach,
A B
go with Zach, Anner
[verse]
oh with humor and sincerity 
zach will show you how to see
that plans break down but you can always repair
no mountain too high or valley low
no atlantis is too fictional 
or underwater zach will take you there
[chorus]
you gotta, go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
[bridge]
E A
you gotta admit, that the dude is ballsy
C#m B
and he's got the sexiest palsy
E A
you gotta admit, that the dude is ballsy
C#m B
and he's got the sexiest palsy
[ending chorus]
(repeat bridge chords to end of song)
go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
go with Zach, go with Zach,
go with Zach, Anner
A Rainy Day in Berkeley
Song A Day #779
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords]
D D7 B A
[verse]
D D7 Bm
a rainy day in berkeley
A
i'm cold and kind of hungry
D D7 Bm
my baby's off in thailand
A
I've got nothing planned

[verse - B]
G Em
but something's going on tonight
G Em
and it's got me wound up tight
G Em
my circuits are about to blow
G A
gotta lay me down lay down low

[verse]
everybody's getting sick
spring is here but winter's thick
i've done all that i could
to stay healthy knock on wood

[verse - B]
but people wanna sneeze on you
and bacteria is on the move
i'm always washing my hands
otherwise got nothing planned

D
tonight
Umble
Song A Day #780
First Singing Note:E
[intro chords] x2
C F
[verse]
C F
i can't do much more right now than mumble
C F
i need a elder wand like dumble
C F
headache's always make you feel humble
C F
i wanna lay down and disassemble
[verse]
did i fall last night or take a tumble?
my memories are all a jumble
they form and then they seem to crumble
they start to run and inevitably stumble
if i was a football action i'd be fumble
if i were a bee i'd be a bumble
[ending]
Am G
ok i just felt my stomach rumble
F G C
i better go eat breakfast until i'm full
String Theory
Song A Day #781
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
C G F C
I wish i understood string theory
C G F C
and i don't mean just in layman's terms
C G F C
i wanna understood the math clearly
C G F C
i wish that i could deny or confirm
Am D
the truth of it, the truth of it

[verse]
i wish that i was good at math
long equations and formulae 
the problem is that i can barely add
but man i just really want see
the truth of it, the truth of it
[pre chorus]x2
C G F
oh, oh, oh
[chorus]
Am
math and logic explain it all
D
but i'm just not logical
C G F 
i don't know what i'll say before i'll talk
C G F
i'm more kirk and way less spock
C G F
i don't know what i think most of the time
C G F
i'm way more janeway and way less 7 of 9

[verse]
i want to be able to say, "yeah
there are multiple universes and here's the math
that proves there's another you that looks just like me
in a universe somewhere where the color red is green
that's the truth of it, that's the truth of it

[pre chorus]x2
oh, oh, oh
[chorus]
math and logic explain it all
but i'm just not logical 
i don't know what i'll say before i'll talk
i'm more kirk and way less spock
i don't know what i think most of the time
i'm way more janeway and way less 7 of 9
[verse]
i want to hang out with edward witten
i want to sing a song in the LHC
i want to understand mathematics
the way i understand songwriting
that's the truth of it
[pre chorus]x4
oh, oh, oh
Hey, Defriender
Song A Day #782
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords] x2
Bb F Dm C
Bb F C
[verse]
F Bb
is there a doctor in the house?
Dm C
it's a medical emergency
F
fights are breaking out
Bb Dm C
and i'm running out of tea
F Bb Dm
break dancers are breaking down the doors
C
with funky moves made out of
F C
nostalgic 80s toys and lego bricks

[chorus]
F Bb F
and i'm the only witness left
F Bb F
to a crime that left innocence dead
F Bb F
they say it was an accident
C
but that's only half the truth
Bb C
hey big spender
F Dm
your the donald trump of crooks
Bb C
hey defriender
F Dm
we were friends on the 'ol Facebook
Bb C
hey new mothers
F Dm
don't name your children after me
Bb F C
cause it's likely to cause them pain

[intro chords] x1
[verse]
is there a waterfall?
cause i'd like to jump right in
i was born after all
to go chasing them
hot tubs hotter and hot dog slaughter 
and milk cow mooing above
the moon jumped over a 4 leaf clover of love

[chorus]
and i'm the only witness to
a sign that things are changing soon
but i'd like to share with you
the truth
hey big spender
your the donald trump of crooks
hey defriender 
we were friends on the 'ol Facebook
hey new mothers
don't name your children after me
cause it's likely to cause them pain
[intro chords] x2
Down a Hole
Song A Day #783
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords]
(Dm Gm Dm A
Dm Gm A7) x2
(D C D) x2
A
[verse]
F Am Gm Dm
on the road to the other side
F Am C
down the hole where grandpa died
F Am Gm Dm
i came across a three piece man
F Am Bb C
well met i said well met by chance

[chorus]
Dm C Dm
everything was down that hole
Dm C Dm
every living and dead soul
Dm C Dm
cold as fish and black as coal
A
they'd never heard of rock and roll
Dm Gm
i told you, i warned you
Dm A
i said they wouldn't listen
Dm Gm
you ran out, found jesus
Dm A
and now you're into his thing
Dm Gm
a soldier, can onlya
Dm A
shoot what's there in front of him
Dm Gm
no one can, fly higher
A7
than death he's there above him

[bridge]
Gm 
will the feeling never die?
Dm
will the feeling never die?
C
despite untold years
Bb
passing quickly by?
Gm
on another boat
Dm
on a boat across the sea
C
will the feeling never die
A 
is it love that lives for eternity 

[verse]
up i said up to life and lightness
enough i said bring me brightness
i climbed a rope and crawled out blinking
just in time to see the moon winking
[chorus]
everything was down that hole
every living and dead soul
cold as fish and black as coal
they'd never heard of rock and roll
i told you, i warned you
i said they wouldn't listen
you ran out, found jesus
and now you're into his thing
a soldier, can onlya
shoot what's there in front of him
no one can, fly higher
than death he's there above him
Blowing the Dust Out of the Cartridge That is my Mind
Song A Day #784
First Singing Note:G
[intro chords] x2
F Bb Dm C
[chorus]
F Bb Dm C
Blowing the dust out of the cartridge that is my mind, that is my mind x2
[verse]
F
I have memories
Bb
of games gone by
Dm
days in my life
C
in the corners of my mind
[verse]
the first time
i held a controller
watching cut scenes
to get psyched for playing
watching my brother play
kung fu
the weirdness that was
mario 2
[chorus]
Blowing the dust out of the cartridge that is my mind x4
I've Got to Remember to Breathe
Song A Day #785
First Singing Note:C
[verse]
C F
life is slow when things take time
C F
but like goes by in the blink of an eye

[chorus]
Am G F
you've got to remember to breathe
Am G F
i've got to remember to breathe

[verse]
life takes time but i don't mind
walk the line my heart defined
[chorus]
you've got to remember to breathe
i've got to remember to breathe
The Disease
Song A Day #786
First Singing Note:D
[verse]
Bb Eb F Gm
tell your mother tell your father tell your brother tell your sister
Bb Eb F Gm
everybody's coming down with a brand new disease
Bb Eb F Gm 
on the way to the oak grove singing it's a potluck, what you bringing?
Bb Eb F Gm 
i'm bringing my monkey with expertise 

[pre-chorus]
Eb F
don't worry if you can't
Eb F
remember like elephants
Eb F
you will pick up the secant
Eb F
and you'll see what moses meant

[chorus]
Bb F
it'll make you bigger faster
Gm Eb
it'll tap your inner disaster
Bb F
it'll make you stronger smarter
Gm Eb
it'll make me love you harder

[verse]
this monkey gave it to me one morning when she bit me
i gave it to my girlfriend and she gets around
let it take you to the place inside you where love isn't something hiding
don't fight it just ride it all the way down

[pre-chorus]
don't worry if you can't
dance like man should dance
you'll be the president
all your evident
[chorus] x2
it'll make you bigger faster
it'll tap your inner disaster
it'll make you stronger smarter
it'll make me love you harder
Catan!
Song A Day #787
First Singing Note:A
[intro chords]
F Dm Bb F
Bb C Dm
F Dm Bb F
Dm C F
Bb C
F Dm Bb C
F Dm C Bb C
DM C Bb C Dm
F Dm Bb F
do you want to trade some ore for some sheep?
Bb C Dm
no no no
F Dm Bb F
do you want to trade some bricks for some wheat?
Dm C F
no no no
Bb 
do you have the longest road?
C
do you have the biggest army?
F
do you want to build a settlement
Dm
why haven't you rolled a three
Bb C F
i don't know

Dm C Bb C
catan!
Dm C Bb C
catan!
Bb
we shape the outcome of this land
C
with two die and our 8 hands
Bb
sheep and brick and wood and sand
C
not really sand
catan!
catan!
ISS
Song A Day #788
(No Lyrics)
[part – A] x8
C F
[part – B] x4
C Dm Em Dm
[part – A] x8
The Charlie Sheen Quotes Song
Song A Day #789
First Singing Note:D
[intro chords]
Dm F
Dm F
Dm F A
[verse]
Dm
I have spent I think close to the last decade
F
effortlessly and magically
A
converting your tin cans into pure gold
Bb A
Amateurs

[verse]
I'm tired of pretending like my life 
isn't perfect and bitchin' 
and winning every second
trolls and fools

[chorus]
Dm
I am battle tested bayonets
Gm
i got poetry in my fingertips
A
you can't process me with a normal brain
Bb A
Dying is for fools. 

[chorus]
i'm tired of pretending like i'm not
special like i'm not
a bitchin rockstar from mars
I'm still alive, which is pretty cool.

[verse]
Resentments are the rocket fuel 
that lives in the tip of my saber.
CBS picked a fight with a warlock

[verse]
i have tiger's blood adonis dna
i wanted to watch jaws 
on the ocean in the dark and be afraid
[chorus]
I am battle tested bayonets
i got poetry in my fingertips
you can't process me with a normal brain
Dying is for fools. 

[chorus]
i'm tired of pretending like i'm not
special like i'm not
a bitchin rockstar from mars
I'm still alive, which is pretty cool. 

[bridge]
C Bb
Charlie Sheen wake up from your dream
F Gm
come back to us we don't know where you're going
C Bb
Charlie Sheen we love you please don't be mean
F A
let your freak flag fly but maybe not so high
[chorus]
I am battle tested bayonets
i got poetry in my fingertips
you can't process me with a normal brain
Dying is for fools. 

[chorus]
i'm tired of pretending like i'm not
special like i'm not
a bitchin rockstar from mars
I'm still alive, which is pretty cool.
Steve Job Announces the iPad 2
Song A Day #790
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
B
well i was watching the liveblog
F#
on engadget
A
there was steve
E
oh my god
B
why isn't it streaming
F#
they streamed the last two
A
and there is steve
B
oh my god

F# B
no one expected steve

[verse - B]
to be there
G#m
but now he is there
F# E
and we're so glad that he's healthy enough
[verse - B]
to stand on stage and
do his thing 
announce the ipad 2 as it was meant to be
[ending]
B
We all knew it was the iPad 2 x2
But Steve Jobs
Oh! It Doesn't Matter
Song A Day #791
First Singing Note: F
[verse]
F
i don't know where i'm going
i don't know what i'm doing
C
i don't know who i am
F
oh

[verse]
i'm on a mountain with no bottom
i'm part spring and part autumn 
wave your reasons if you got 'em
oh

[verse]
one claw reaching for the sun and stars and
one claw reaching for a lover's hand
there's so much i don't understand 
oh

[verse]
losing sometimes feels like winning
doing good can feel like sinning
if she feels bad, why's she grinning
oh
[ending] x2
F
it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter
I Stand
Song A Day #792
First Singing Note:A
[intro]
F Dm Gm C7
[verse]
F
everywhere you turn
Dm
folks are turning on each other
Gm 
i cannot explain
C7
why we cause each other pain
[verse]
will we ever learn
to respect one another
see the obvious 
embrace our differences

[pre-chorus]
Dm
i make not think you're right
Am
or even that you're sane
Bb C
but i'd save you from a burning building

[chorus]
F Bb F Bb
i stand with the living beings
F Bb
from the bigots and the bone heads
C
to the unborn machines
F Bb F Bb
i stand with the religious and with the atheists
F Bb
i stand with the racist grandpas
C
and with the wide eyed kids
F Bb
i stand (x4)

[verse]
something in the water
is madness inducing
discontent is sown
and powerlessness is grown
in the early morning hours
the hopelessness is loosened
through thought and exercise
and an opening up of the eyes


[pre-chorus]
i make not think you're right
and you may not think the same
but you'd save me from a burning building

[chorus]
i stand with the living beings
from the bigots and the bone heads
to the unborn machines
i stand with the religious and with the atheists
i stand with racist grandpas
and with the wide eyed kids
i stand
Heart For Rent
Song A Day #793
First Singing Note:Bb
[verse]
Eb
I moved out of my old heart
Ab Eb
when I didn't fit anymore
Cm
boxes piled everywhere
Bb
you could barely see the floor

[verse]
I lived there for several years
was a dark time in my life
I moved in to a brand new heart
with lots of natural light

[pre-chorus]
Ab
and that worked out for a year or so
Cm
but my love just seems to grow and grow
Ab
like i just moved in, but i got to go
Bb
this place is about to burst

[chorus]
Eb Bb
Heart for rent, heart for rent
Ab Cm
i've loved every minute of the time i've spent
Fm
and I don't want to misrepresent
Ab Bb
I just need something bigger
[chorus]
heart for rent, heart for rent
a midsize heart with a lilac scent
hard wood floors and barely lived in 
move in date's tomorrow
Heart for rent

[verse]
the dimensions change wall to wall
it's quite hard to measure
the shower is pretty small
but it's got great water pressure

[verse]
the neighbors can be kind of loud
but they'll have you over for dinner
there's a woman down the street that teaches yoga
if you're a pro or a beginner

[pre-chorus]
i try to be the best i can be
in every major artery
i wash the floors keep the kitchen clean
but this place is about to burst
[chorus]
Heart for rent, heart for rent
i've loved every minute of the time i've spent
and I don't want to misrepresent
I just need something bigger
heart for rent, heart for rent
a midsize heart with a lilac scent
hard wood floors and barely lived in 
move in date's tomorrow
Heart for rent

[ending]
Ab Eb Bb Eb 
come by to the open house
Ab Eb Bb Eb
come by there'll be cookies there
Ab Eb Bb Cm
come by this place has got to go
Ab Bb Cm
This heart’s for rent
Ab Bb Eb
This heart’s for rent
Bites All Over
Song A Day #915
Wheeeeee
Bmaj
Hey mosquito
F#maj
Don’t bite my toe
Bmaj
Any way the wind blow
Emaj
You’re never alright, oh
Bmaj
When you bite
Emaj F#maj
You bite so hard
You’re sticking to me
In the yard
Hey little wasp-y
Don’t double cross me
I’m gonna toss thee
Up in a pine tree
Go back to your hive
And hide away
You won’t get out alive
If you come out to play
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Hey little bumble
Let’s take a tumple
A jungle rumble
Your stinger will crumble
If you sting me
Oh you will die
And I’m a gonna punch you
In the eye
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Bum bum bad um
Ma na da da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Ba da dum da da dum
Dummmm
Hey mosquito
Don’t bite my toe
Any way the wind blow
You’re never alright, oh
When you bite
You bite so hard
Sticking to me
There in the yard
Mosquito go away
I’m itchy
(Don’t forget to vote!)
Conversations on Sunday
Song A Day #977
(Instrumental, no lyrics)
[Chord progression throughout song]
C Em Am
C Em Am
C Em Am
Em D G
Someone’s Gotta Stick it to the Man
Song A Day #978
First Singing Note: D
[verse]
D
Everything is going wrong
And anyone with any sense can see the reason
A
There are major corporations
D
With more rights than any human
It’s all backwards
Bm A
They fund our democracy
F#m G
And every single way they can
Em
It’s time that somebody stood up
A
‘Cause someone’s gotta stick it to the man
[chorus]
D G D
You gotta stick, You gotta stick, You gotta stick,
Bm A
Someone’s gotta stick it to the man
D G D
You gotta stick, You gotta stick, You gotta stick,
Bm A
Someone’s gotta stick it to the man
[verse]
So you got Anonymous
And WikiLeaks
And that’s a start
And I support them
Even though I don’t agree with
Every single thing they do
I still support them
I feel so powerless
They’ve got this gross, greedy cynical plan
But it’s up to us to disrupt it
Yeah someone’s gotta stick it to the man
[chorus]
You gotta stick
Someone’s gotta stick it to the man
You gotta stick
Someone’s gotta stick it to the man
I said
Someone’s gotta stick it to the man
[bridge]
F#m
When I say “they”
G
I’m not trying to be mysterious
D
I’m talking ‘bout Goldman Sachs
And Bank of America
A
They just rule over us
F#m
Now I’m not a conspiracy theorist
G
And you don’t have to be to see
D
That there’s something not quite right
A
At the heart of our democracy
Because they’re
Bm A
They’re throwing people in jail
Bm
For not paying their debt
A
They’re taking over whole towns
G
Like Benton Harbor Michigan
A G
I’m talking left and the right
A
They’re all in on the march
G A
So go out, and do something drastic
B
Something peaceful
F#m
Something big
To get their attention
[verse]
There’s a great big flood a’comin’
And it’s gonna change the world
Can you feel it
Gonna change it for the better
Or the worse
I think it’s up to us to choose it
Well they made their vision clear
Now it’s time we took our stand
I don’t wanna be afraid anymore
It’s time for us to stick it to the man
[chorus]
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
Someone’s gotta stick it to the…
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
Someone’s gotta stick it to the…
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
C’mon and stick it
Someone’s gotta stick it to the MAN
Hey Man, You Can’t Do That
Song A Day #979
First Singing Note:Db
[chorus]
Bbm Ab Bbm Ab Bbm
Hey man, you can’t do that
Db Cm
No one does that and gets away with it, now
Bbm Ab Bbm Ab Bbm
Hey man, you can’t do that
[verse]
Cm
That thing you did just now
Without really thinking
Db
Well it’s really frowned upon around here
Cm
That feeling in the pit of your stomach
Db
That sinking means we’re coming for you
Eb
And we’re coming for you, and
[chorus]
Hey man, you can’t do that
No one does that and gets away with it, now
Hey man, you can’t do that
[verse]
When the sun is down
And the stars come shining
You can’t, do the thing
You just did just now
But deep within yourself
Like a miner that’s mining
You’ll see that we’re not joking
[chorus]
Hey man, you can’t do that
No one does that thing around here
Hey man, you can’t do that
No one does that and gets away with it, no
Hey man, you can’t do that
Stop being a jerk
And doing that thing, oh
Hey man, you can’t do that
I’m Not Sure of Anything
Song A Day #980
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
Em C7
I’m just a man who feels love in his heart
C#dim7
Cupid sitting at the bar
C7
His friends are throwing darts
Em
Other things we love
C7
The things that set us apart
C#dim7 C7
I’m not sure of anything
Am
There was silence
F7
And then there was noise
F#7dim
I felt annoyed
F7
It was like some kind of poison
Am
I had to conclude
F7
I was not like other boys
F#7dim F7
I’m not sure of anything
[bridge] x2
Bm C Dbm C
[verse]
A gross mis-underestimation
Is that a word?
I delight in occurrences
And touch the absurd
Firebrand and ballyhoo and dragons like birds
I’m not sure of anything
Awkward man and sinners summers
Come to an end
You don’t need lovers
When you have got friends
It’s that time of year again
And now you’re attending
I’m not sure of anything
Nooo
[bridge]x2
You Look Like Pants
Song A Day #981
First Singing Note:D
[Verse]
Dm
Hey what you doing?
G(m)
I was just sitting here
F
What are you thinking?
Ab dim Gm
That you look like pants
Dm
What does that mean?
Gm
It means we’re on your side
F
Well why didn’t you say so?
Ab dim Gm
Just didn’t
[pre-chorus]
F Bb A
How am I ‘sposed to get another car moving
F
If the car that I’m in
Bb A
Has had its battery drained
F
I could use a jump lift
Bb A
Out of time and space
C Db C
To break down the way of this
[chorus]
Dm Bb
Ahhhh ohhh
C Bb
As long as you are healthy
Db Bb
Ohhh oh
C Bb
And nobody died
Dm Bb
Ohhh oh
C Bb
Things could get a lot worse, and
Dm Bb
Ohhh oh
C Bb
Just sit back and ride
F
That’s what I said, hey
[verse]
Was that a chorus there?
Oh yes I think it was
It brought it all home
But what did it mean?
I have no idea
Well, that’s ok you know
Yeah I guess it is
Just trust us we’re sure
[pre-chorus]
Well why is every day just like breaking my back?
With all these stupid demands
On my time and my eyes
Are looking down into pixels
That are formed into stuff
That ends up making my head hurt
Ouch ouch
[chorus]
Ahhhh ohhh
As long as you are healthy
Ohhh oh
And nobody died
Ohhh oh
Things could get a lot worse, and
Ohhh oh
Just sit back and ride
That’s what I said, hey
Awesome Generic Birthday Song
Song A Day #982
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
A Ab
Happy Birthday
Db Gb
From me to you
E F#
This is the one in which
B
Your dreams come true
A Ab
Happy Birthday
Db F#
Go eat a cake
E F#
Or if you prefer pie
B
You should demand it
Saying
“It’s my birthday
And I want pieeeee”
Life is Circular
Song A Day #983
First Singing Note:G
[Verse]
G
Ohhh
G D C D
Life is cyclical
G D
Is circular
C D
Is round and round
G D C D
We tried to make it square
G D C D
The best attempt that I have found
[verse]
That the more I square it up
Try to shape it to my expectations
The more it won’t cooperate
The more it tests my patience
[verse]
Life is randomness
And we bring meaning to it
It’s a jumble of bits and atoms
That form around us
As we move through it
And the order that we bring
Just decays when we are gone
And so it’s cyclical
A random circle in the great beyond
Oooooh oooh
[verse]
And love is close to life
As patterns start emerging
In an interstellar battle
Of heavy forces converging
In the human brain
The great and the small
Are intertwined to form our thoughts
The old and the new
Will collide in the dark
From the universe into
The tiniest of dots
The tiniest of dots
Just one tiny point in space
What You Are
Song A Day #984
First Singing Note:E
[verse - A]
C
Interstellar matter as a spirit in the flesh
C dim
Is enough to make me wonder
C
Patterns recognized as what they can or cannot be
C dim
Tears my mind asunder
[verse - B]
Am C
Don't misunderestimate
B
Don't try to keep it straight
Bb
When it wants to soar
Am
Don't try and represent
C
A life you haven't spent
D sus D
In search of something more

[verse - A]
Carry it inside like a parasite alive
It’s telling you the truth
Cooing like a babe that is fresh out the womb
And searching for a home

[verse - B]
I don't want to tell you
What you can and can't do
I don't want that on my back
But don't look anywhere
But here and here and there
When you're feeling out of whack

[chorus]
Bm Em
When you're feeling old and dusty
Bm Em
And quiet and untrusting
C
Just remember
D
What you are

[verse - A]
Pushing on the edges of universe uncaring
Is the best that I can do
Pictures into thoughts and words out into pictures
And no space for me slash you

[verse - B]
Do it in the morning 
When you can hear the calling
Of the rocks a tumbling down
It's only an appearance
A static interference
That you wear your halo crown

[verse - A]
Under every hill and over every home hangs
Sloppy dripping noise
We try to make it sense but it hardly ever does
And mostly it destroys

[verse - B]
Every single thought the instant that you think it
Every action when it's done
Time is unforgiving and so the grin you’re grinning
Is all the more miracle
[chorus]
When you're feeling old and dusty
And quiet and untrusting
Just remember
When you're feeling old and dusty
And quiet and untrusting
Just remember
What you are
Just remember
What you are

[ending]
G
I Want to be Lighter than Air
Song A Day #985
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
E
OK I give up
B
I’ll do anything
C#m A
As long as you don’t mess
With me anymore
[verse]
I’m just so sick of it
1,000 questions
And no answers at all
Why does a body always have to wait?
It makes pause and hesitate
It’s not that I wanna be so cool and not care
I just wanna be lighter than air
[verse]
K, and I’m depressed
Can’t shake the feeling that you didn’t listen anyway
My hired gun
Was stressed sometimes
But I’m always serious in what I say
[verse]
Why does a body always have to beg
To keep his hold off the golden eggs?
You’re a nobody body and you never cared
I just wanna be lighter than air
Take this Body
Song A Day #986
First Singing Note:C#
[verse]
C#m
Take this body weak and human
Make it strong but still leave room inside
My heart for worlds to grow
Where there was no mountain there before
There will be
Will be a mountain
In my heart
In my heart
[chorus]
C#m
(Take take my body)
A
Take this body
(Take take my body)
B
And replace it
(Take take my body)
G#
With your body
(Take take, take take)
[chorus]
(Take take my body)
Take this body
(Take take my body)
And replace it
(Take take my body)
With your body
(Take take, take take)
[verse]
Take this body old and broken
Replace the parts that never woke and
Sleep until they need to be woken up
Up up plea
There will be
They will be the mountain
In my heart
In my heart
[chorus chords through end]
(Take take my body)
Take this body
(Take take my body)
And replace it
(Take take my body)
With your body
(Take take, take take)
(Take take my body)
Take this body
(Take take my body)
And replace it
(Take take my body)
With your body
(Take take, take take)
(Take take my body)
Take this body
(Take take my body)
And replace it
(Take take my body)
With your body
(Take take, take take)
(Take take my body)
Take this body
(Take take my body)
And replace it
(Take take my body)
With your body
(Take take, take take)
Take take my body
Take take my body
Take take my body
Take take, take take
Take take my body
Take take my body
Take take my body
Take take, take take
Take take my body
Just take this body
Take take my body
Take this body
Take take my body
Take take take
Take take my body
Just take my body
Take take my body
And replace it
Take take my body
Just take my body
Take take, take take
Panda Rocking Chair Song
Song A Day #987
First Singing Note:C#
[verse]
A E
Everything sucks
G#m A B
I’m just stuck in here with you people laughing
A E
It’s just too much
G#m A B
Not even hanging balls will make me feel better
A E
Sure I got all the bamboo I could eat
A E
Sure I got all kinds of vets and people taking care of me
G#m A
But what I really need is some kind of magical fun
B
To make me feel my bear
[chorus]
E
Rocking chair
C#m B A
You make a panda like me
E
Rocking chair
C#m B A
Uh feel almost free
E
Rocking chair
C#m B A
I think you just may be
B
The answer I needed
[verse]
Oh my God why
Did I ever let myself get captured?
Look at me cry
When I think about the life I should be living
I could be out wandering Southwestern China
I could be going to school to be a graphic designer
Oh I could be wild
Instead I’m tame
And so I’m depressed
[chorus chords through end]
But
Rocking chair
You make a panda like me
Rocking chair
Uh feel almost free
Rocking chair
I think you just may be
The answer I’ve needed
Rocking chair
You make a panda like me
Rocking chair
Uh feel almost free
Rocking chair
I think you just may be
The answer I’ve needed
Rocking chair
You make a panda like me
Rocking chair
Uh feel almost free
Rocking chair
I think you just may be
The answer I needed
Praying to a Non-Existent Cat
Song A Day #988
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
F Bb
Every day I do the very same thing
C Bb Am
I sit down and I sing, sing, sing
F
Brush my teeth
Bb
Rinse my mouth
C Bb
And what I wanna sing about
[chorus] x2
F Bb Am Gm
Ahhh ah ah
[verse]
Given all the time in the world
What would I do?
If I had to choose
I’d spend it with you
[bridge]
F Bb
I am praying to a non-existent cat
Dm
and a jump excited dog
C
Who could carry me on his back
Into the future full of fog
and the non existent cat
will bring me an inconsistent mouse
and we'll live inside a home
Converted from a house
Oooh oooh
Be converted from a house
Be converted from a house
Praying to a Non-Existent Cat
Song A Day #9
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
F Bb
Every day I do the very same thing
C Bb Am
I sit down and I sing, sing, sing
F
Brush my teeth
Bb
Rinse my mouth
C Bb
And what I wanna sing about
[chorus] x2
F Bb Am Gm
Ahhh ah ah
[verse]
Given all the time in the world
What would I do?
If I had to choose
I’d spend it with you
[bridge]
F Bb
I am praying to a non-existent cat
Dm
And a jump excited dog
C
Who could carry me on his back
Into the future full of fog
And the non-existent cat
Will bring me an inconsistent mouse
And we'll live inside a home
Converted from a house
Oooh oooh
Be converted from a house
Be converted from a house
Video Games
Song A Day #989
First Singing Note:G#
[verse]
A
Well I just wanna play
I wanna play all the video games
D
And I don't listen what they say
Cause I just wanna play those video games
A
You watch watch all your movies
And you're reading your novels too
Bm
But I just wanna play those video games
D A
Wanna play all the video games now with you
E
Yes I do
[verse]
Well you read your magazines
And your dancin' to blow off steam
And your hot tub in the rain, naked
Hangin' with champagne
And you're lost on the internet
And you listen to records too
But, I just wanna play those video games
I wanna play all the video games with you,
Yes I do
[verse chords]
I just wanna play, video games
I just wanna play, video games
I just wanna play, video games
I just wanna play, video games
I wanna play, I wanna play, I wanna play, I wanna play video games
[verse chords]
I said, I just wanna play, video games
I just wanna play, video games
I just wanna play, video games
I wanna play, I wanna play, video games
I wanna play those video games
Wanna play those games
nah
Up Out Over This Mess
Song A Day #990
First Singing Note:E
[verse]
C Am
When I can't sleep I stay up late,
C Am
I'm lost in thought as I contemplate
Dm Ebdim Em
The state of this universe and my place inside
G
this rattlin' ride
[verse]
It's gotten me feeling like my brain's a trap
So I go to the park and I take a nap
The sun goes down, behind the trees
I zip up my hoodie, as I start to freeze
[chorus]
F Dm
Behind my eyes, there's something sticking
F Dm
Make me blind, to the tick tick tickin
Am Bb
Tack of time, with the coin for death
F G
To carry you over on out of this mess
[verse]
Maybe a walk on the trail will help
Its where I belong more than anywhere else
I pass by people who barley acknowledge
that walking and running is just country old following
Snake and rapid does life for death
Speed and muscle til there's nothing left
I only like it, when today is calm
Tomorrow will bring a great big storm
[chorus]
Behind my eyes, there's something sticking
I'm deaf and blind, to the tick tick tickin
Tack of time, with the coin for death
To carry you over on out of this mess
[verse]
If I didn't know better, I'd be upset
Well, Im-a go get her when I know what to get
When its all laid out in big arrays
I can opportunize and not be afraid
But now I'm stuck loving what I've done
And it makes the aftermath though not so fun
I give it my all, but what does it do
It can do everything or never go through
[chorus] x2
Behind my eyes, there's something sticking
Make me blind, to the tick tick tickin
Tack of time, with the coin for death
To carry you over on out of this mess
Sookie, Oh Sookie (True Blood Song)
Song A Day #991
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
Em D Em
Sookie, Oh Sookie, everybody loves you
D Em
With your reading of minds, and that light thing you do
D Em
Your fairy powers that stem from your heart
D
Sookie, Oh Sookie, you've been it from the start
[verse chords to end of song]
Sometimes a lost bird is too scared to fly
You lost your grand, but you don't need to cry
there's blood in your veins, its a curse and a gift
Sookie, Oh Sookie, thats just how it is
Your heart is so big, it will fill all Bon Temps
And all Louisiana, every last goddamn swan
There's pure light inside you, when it comes out in waves
Of every emotion, when theres friends to be saved
Mysterious witches, and maenads galore
Theres no power that can stand up to what you have in store
When you're lost and confused, you don't belong
Sookie, Oh Sookie, you've been it all along
Sookie, Oh Sookie, everybody loves you
With your reading of minds, and that light thing you do
With your fairy powers that stem from your heart
Sookie, Oh Sookie, you've been it from the start
Sookie, Oh Sookie, you've been it from the start
This Ain't Over
Song A Day #991
First Singing Note:G
[verse]
C Em
You lunk head, you dunce
C Em
If I told you a million times I told you once
C Em
You dumb bell, you crook
C Em
You steal and lie about what you took
[chorus]
F Em
This ain't over, Its not over
C
no no no
[verse]
You street rat, you punk
You pile of goo, you slimy pile of gunk
you never do well, you naïve
from a burning building you, I would not save
[chorus]
And this ain't over, it ain't over
no no no
[verse]
You clot pole, you lout
don't look at me like you don't know what this is about
you jolt head, you knit
you smell like a wet dog and you clothes don't fit
[chorus]
This ain't over, this ain't over
no no
[verse]
You ham fist, you fluke
you've got no facts with which you can rebuke
you weasel, you pox
its a plague on my ears when you open your mouth to talk
[chorus]
This ain't over, this ain't over
no no no
no no no
Business
Song A Day #992
First Singing Note:E
[intro]
C G F
Da da, da da da da da da
C G F
Da da, da da da da da da
Am F
Da da, da da da da da da
Dm G
Da da da, da da da da da da da
[intro chords]
I don't think its anybody's business
Nobody's business but my own
You can't have it, both ways
You can't have it on a telephone
[intro]
The End of Techcrunch
Song A Day #993
First Singing Note:G#
[verse]
E B A
Hey AOL, what the hell are you doing
E B A
Is there any part of the internet that you don't want to ruin
C#m B
Sure Arrington's a jerk, but he's our jerk. Dammit.
F#m B
Techcrunch without him, well it just won't work
[verse]
Hey Ariana, you're a real smart lady
but some parts of you business, well they seem kind of shady
From unpaid bloggers now you're firing Mike
You can't just fire you don't like
[verse]
Well we don't read techcrunch for its high moral standards
We read it for the drama and MG Seigler's reporting
Yeah, Arrington's a jerk, but he's our jerk, dammit.
You can't have the original enterprise without captain Kirk
[verse]
Just like I don't read the Huffington post to find out the news
No, I read it for the cute cat videos, and I read it for the boobs
Oh, all good websites have certain things that we like
Erick Schonfeld's great, but see he's not Mike
[bridge]
E A E
When you hook up with AOL
E A E
I guess you buy into their business plan
C#m A E
Blogging on an assembly line
E A E
Just empty words to be packaged then
B A E
No regard for the quality
B A E
And no regard for personality
F#m A
Just automatons punching keys
F#m A
But I want real people and ideas
F#m A
Sometimes conflicted and messy
C#m B
Thats with real real people writing free
A
Whatever you say about Arrington
B
and his conflicts of interest
A
The man at least he speaks his mind
B
No matter the consequences
[verse]
Hey AOL, what the hell are you doing
Is there any part of the internet that you don't want to ruin
Please stop buying things that I like to read
Especially sites that you don't understand
And you don't need, oh yeah
Three Other Boys
Song A Day #994
First Singing Note:A
[verse]
F Dm
The girl was a handful, but she didn't quite fill my cup
F Dm
until she sat me down in the bucket seats, snarled buckle up
Am C
I was under her control, didn't have much of a choice
Bb
She stopped the car, kicked me out
C
Picked up the other boys
[interlude] x2
F Dm
[verse]
I was statuesque by the side of the road
Couldn't even raise my thumb I felt
As if i'd been struck by madness
Blind and deaf and dumb
When a car stopped, to help me out
I couldn't even raise my voice
But they lifted me, from beneath my arms
It was these three other boys
[interlude] x4
F Dm F Dm
Save yourself
F Dm F Dm
Save yourself
[verse]
Now I'm home and myself again
Never follow a pretty face
into the pits of hell or anywhere
that love can't be replaced
I sit and stare, and eating shit
And I don't make any noise
But I find that I do think about those three other boys
[interlude to end]
Solo Show Together
Song A Day #995
First Singing Note:F
[verse]
Fm Eb
I havn't played a solo show in a really really long time
Ab Bbm
I guess maybe I havn't been in a solo state of mind
Fm
But a solo show is a misnomer
Eb
cause even if you are playing alone
Ab
Unless nobody came to your show
Bbm
You're not really playing alone
[chorus]
Db Gb Ab
So its a solo show together
Db Gb Ab
Its a solo show together
Db Gb Ab
a solo show together
Db Gb Ab
a solo show together
[verse]
But I haven't played a solo show in many many years
I guess maybe a solo show is facing some old fears
But a solo show is a misnomer
cause even if you are playing alone
Unless nobody came to your show
You're not really playing alone
[chorus]
Its a solo show together
Its a solo show together
a solo show together
a solo show together
[bridge]
Gm7
And even if nobody comes to your show
Fm Eb Db
Don't be sad, no no no
C7
Think of it as practice
Gm7
If you throw a party, and nobody comes
Fm Eb
and you feel rejected and you feel dumb
Db
but someone somewhere loves you
C7
and thats enough
[verse]
Its been a long time between solo shows
but the time just flies, it flies
Maybe i've got some thicker skin
maybe i'm more wise
But a solo show is a misnomer
unless you're completely alone
but you're never completely alone
and also on the other hand, you're completely alone
[chorus]x2
Its a solo show together
Its a solo show together
a solo show together
a solo show together
Gonna Unequip
Song A Day #996
First Singing Note:B
[verse]
Bm D
Little devices, all around me
A F#
Making noises, the air gets cloudy
Bm D
I can't keep up with the information
A F#
What if I just stop paying attention
[chorus]
G Bm Em
Ding ring bleep bloop
Bm F#
I'm drowning in information soup
G Bm Em
Ring ding bloop bleep
Bm F#
Its vibrating when I'm asleep
[verse]
My synapses overloading
Frontal cortex near exploding
What if I just disconnected
Where could I go to seek protection
[chorus]
Bleep blip ding ring
I don't wanna hear anything
Bloop blop ding blip
Its time I got unequiped
unequiped
[bridge]
Bm
Well i'm gonna give it just one more minute
And I'm gonna get out now
Gonna live in a cave with no radio waves
Which nature does allow
And if that cave ain't far enough
I'm gonna build a ship
Gonna live on a moon
Clatch bang boom
And i'm gonna unequip
A F#
Said I'm gonna unequip
A F#
I'm gonna unequip
A F# Bm
I'm gonna un, unequip
[verse]
Little devices the devil made
or the devil in all of us
that keeps us in chains
so we remain
trained to never put up a fuss
[chorus]
Ding ring bleep bloop
I'm drowning in information soup
Ring ding bloop bleep
Its vibrating when I'm asleep
[bridge]
Well i'm gonna give it just one more minute
And I'm gonna get out now
Gonna live in a cave with no radio waves
Which nature does allow
And if that cave ain't far enough
I'm gonna build a ship
Gonna live on a moon
Clatch bang boom
And i'm gonna unequip
Said I'm gonna unequip
I'm gonna unequip
I'm gonna un, unequip
[verse]
Creeping up, very slowly
so incremental, we're never knowly
running around a new dictator
the danger could have never been greater
[chorus]
Bleep blip ding ring
I don't wanna hear anything
Bloop blop ding blip
Its time I got unequiped
unequiped
unequiped
unequiped
The Universe's Bodily Functions
Song A Day #997
First Singing Note:C#
[verse]
F# A#m G#m D#m
Time melts like Salvado Dali predicted
F# A#m G#m D#m
Particles that travel faster than the speed of light
A#dim Bdim
And so, Einstein was wrong
A#dim Bdim
How can we trust science if the conclusions are forgone
[chorus]
F# A#m D#m B
I will fade when I die
F# A#m D#m B
And so will you, its only time
F# C# B
its only time
G#m C# F#
the universe's bodily functions it can't control
[verse]
Stars blow and fall into each other
Black holes suck up everything that gets too close
Matter decomposes
Models strike their poses
Atoms dance and jiggle
Babies crawl and wiggle
[chorus]
But I will fade when I die
And so will you, its only time
its only time
the universe's bodily functions it can't control
[bridge]
Bm F#
There's no such thing as objectively speaking
Bm F#
One universe is impenetrable as another is leaking
G#
You can't define a world by science alone
C# C#7
Because we'll never know enough to outweigh the unknown
[verse]
Life brings order to all this randomness
My brain sees patterns that don't exist
I eat a bagel every single day
Its in my nature to want it to be that way
[chorus]
But I will fade when I die
And so will you, its only time
its only time
the universe's bodily functions it can't control
Fact or Fiction Wishing Well
Song A Day #998
First Singing Note:D
[intro chords]
Bb Ab Bb Ab
Bb Ab Cm Bb
F Eb F Eb
F Eb Cm Bb F
[verse]
Bb Ab Bb Ab
She's got a lot to say
Bb Ab Cm Bb
She'd rather say it than run away
Bb Ab Bb
when she starts to make her point
Ab Bb Ab Cm Bb
All eyes line up and conspire to anoint
Gm Ab
Her soul on fire, her limbs are tired
Bb Cm Bb
Her mind is mired in the day to day of everyday
[Chorus]
Eb Bb
Another layer for show
Eb Bb
the way we come and we go
Eb Bb
you'll never hear her tell
Ab
the fact or fiction wishing well
[verse]
I'm following my gut
when I said soap, she said what
I'm living proof of this
that life goes on, on the edge of a precipice
one side is dark, the other is far
the contrast is stark
but life keeps moving anyway
[chorus]
Another layer for show
the way we come and we go
you'll never hear me tell
the fact or fiction wishing well
[bridge]
G7 C7
And the days get short
F Bb
And I report
Gm Ab
My findings to
Gm Ab
oh anyone will do
Gm Ab
As long as I'm not alone
Gm Bb
I'll tell anyone how I have grown
[verse]
Every email I get
Is full of proclamations thatI don't understand yet
but no one knows what they've done
Til they've exposed enough of themselves to the sun
The sun lets live, the sun takes and gives
Judges by what isn't, not what you are hiding from
[chorus]
Another layer for show
the way we come and we go
you'll never hear her tell
the fact or fiction wishing well
Little Pieces of Paper
Song A Day #999
First Singing Note:C
[Chord progression throughout duration of song]
C C#dim Am G
(lyrics unintelligible)
'She's afraid to fly'
'She takes drugs to do it'
'Here's what happens...
Hashtag flight drugs!
The meme's and stuff all say #flightdrugs so I'd like to actually say 'hashtag flight drugs.'
Basically here is the backstory. I was never a great flyer, but then went on a terrible flight, got SUPER afraid. Got a prescription from my doc and now take something. And there is this part of me that comes out when I'm on the drugs that's like 'get your shit together annie' voice. I lose inhibition but not in any way that hurts anyone other than being ridiculous with myself. Like true story I went up to the pilot after and was like...'hey man, nice flight. p.s. I'm divorced.'
Thoughts?
3 Rules of The Internt
Song A Day # 10
[Chorus]
D F#m
The internet
G A
Is a less than physical space
Containing a multitude of varying
Opinions on a wide variety of subjects…
Written mostly by assholes.
The first rule of the internet is not to take it personal
If they’re taking the time to say something about something that you made
Chances are they’ve got nothing better to do in the first place
And you should feel sorry for them
Even someone with an average IQ
And a clean mental bill of health
Will act deranged
I’ve gotten death threats, love notes, non-sequiturs and hate mail
I’ve been proposed to, I’ve been lied to, I’ve been Rick Rolled and invited to
More goddamn social networks than there are stars in the sky,
But that’s because…
[Chorus]
...Written by thirteen year olds
The second rule of the internet is
There will be things you don’t understand
Like why is Fred so popular?
Or Who is Fred?
Just ask your 13 year old niece.
The truth is that even though we’d like to think that given a choice between something interesting and enlightening and soul-enhancing and cool
We click on LOLcats and hot chicks and dogs that fall asleep
We click o pandas and lip dubs and that girl that stares at her screen
We click on anything that says epic fail or has a screen shot of boobs
As if we couldn’t see boobs by going to a ga-zillion and onae porn site
But then
[Chorus]
…Written by monkeys
The third rule of the internet, well, it hasn’t been written yet
If you think you’ve got one that belongs, just tell me about when I’ve finished this song
I’ll just be around, you know, cause this song is interactive.
[Chorus]
Written by scholars and kings…like you :-).
#11
D Em
The thing about writing a song a day is that
F#m Em
some of them are gonna suck
some are gonna be just plain mediocre
but you shouldn't give up
cause some of them will be just excellent
like the best thing you ever wrote
it's simple probability
so listen to me note for note
the thing about doing anything a day
is you never know where you'll be
today i'm on a train heading back for nyc
but if you do the thing that you love to do
and you stay interested
you'll have a pile to show the world
and you'll be glad that you did
I AM THE UNICORN
Song A Day #1419
D G
There was a unicorn that lived
Em A
Among the elves and forest sprites
F#m Bm
She kept all of her friends safe
G A
With her magic and her might
The magic in her horn
Was the most powerful around
When danger did approach
Her hooves began to pound
One night while the village slept
A darkness crept in quick
The unicorn reacted too slow
And the darkness played a nasty trick
The unicorn was fighting
The darkness swirled and sneered
But by the time the sun came
Her horn had disappeared
G
Vanished just like that it went
D
And the unicorn hung her head
E
Without that horn her magic was gone
A A7
She didn't want to get out of bed
Just then a wandering stranger
Came knocking on her door
His name was Higgs Boson
And he was thirsty so she gave him water
Higgs Boson asked why so glum
The unicorn told her tale
Higgs said aw you that's nothing my dear
For magic ain't great white whale
Magic lives in your heart you see
You don't need no stinkin horn
You just be who you were born to be
And that's one kick ass unicorn
The unicorn lifted her head
She looked to the horizon
Pink and gold were shooting up in the sky
All beside the setting sun
The darkness it came back
And the unicorn stood her ground
Her eyes lit up and her nostrils flared
And her hooves began to pound
She showed that darkness oh what for
She said I AM THE UNICORN
And suddenly on her head
The was her old horn
You have magic in your heart
You're not a cold machine
You are like that unicorn
When life gets low down and mean
When all hope seems lost and you
Wish that you hadn't been born
Stare that darkness in the eyes
And say I AM THE UNICORN
I want to hear a song about a unicorn who loses his horn but finds out magic is from the heart.
‪MrLadyJezdamayel‬ ‪‪10 hours ago ‬8 ‬
Will you write a song about a guy walking down the street who finds a coin that belongs to an ancient long-forgotten currency used by magical narwhals from the sun? Please. :D
‪LouTube013‬ ‪‪2 days ago ‬30 ‬
Magic Narwal's Ancient Currency
Song A Day #1421
E B
I was walking down the street and I found a coin
A D A
It was an ancient long forgotten currency
E B
It was used by magical narwals
A F#m A
That lived in the center of the sun
As soon as I touched it time became a point
And my atoms split into a thousand pieces
I was transported across space and time
To place the magical narwals called their home
E F#m A G#
Magical Narwals
Magical Narwals, oh oh
E F#m A B
take my blues away
E F#m A B E
take my blues away
The magical narwals took me in
They gave me food and taught me how to love again
They showed me the secret of their magic
They gave me a home, a home of my own
But even with their hospitality
In my home I still felt so lonely
I loved the narwals and they loved me
But I missed having human company
G#
You were looking up at the sky
C#m
On a bright clear winter day
A B
Wondering if there was somebody out there for you
And I was looking back towards earth
Heart heavy in my chest
Wishing this beautiful sun was home for two
Meanwhile way back on earth You were walking down the street
and found the same ancient currency
You could have ignored but something drew you to it
And suddenly you were standing next to me
Darling I know the sun is not ideal
But what these narwals have to offer is for real
So let's stay here and raise a family
And learn the secrets of the universe
Einstein Flying in a Monster Truck over Australia
Song A Day #1422
‪Jonathan Ross‬ ‪‪21 hours ago ‬2 ‬
E
On the other side of life
B
In that castle in the sky
A
Einstein was using
E
His great big giant mind
Finishing equations
On how he could come back
And fly over australia
In a great big monster truck
EINSTIEN FLYING IN MONSTER TRUCK
OVER AUSTRALIA
EINSTIEN FLYING IN MONSTER TRUCK
OVER AUSTRALIA
Mr. Potato Head's Farting Alarm Clock
Song A Day #1423
Can you write a song about Mr. Potato Head?
‪MJsdanglebaby‬ ‪‪21 hours ago ‬10 ‬
A song about a man with a farting alarm clock.
‪UnoriginalChance‬ ‪‪1 hour ago‬‬
G Bm
Mr Potato Head had a farting alarm clock
Bdim Asus
It didn't fart very loud
So he was late for his date with destiny
And he's just french fry's now
D
So all you kids
F#7
With your farting alarm clocks
Bm A
Make sure they eat their beans
Or else you'll be cut up into itty bitty pieces
And sold with a big mac with cheese
E D
Hey Mr. Potato Head
Turn up the farts
Turn up the farts
Google Made Me Eat A Cronut
Song A Day #1682
Google made me eat a cronut
I swear I had no choice
They put a cronut in my mouth
And google glass upon my face
And then it was like that episode
From Star Trek TNG
Where everyone's under mind control
Except for Wil Whe-ton
Google made me eat a Cronut
They had a cronut eating day
I wasn't invited
But I went anyway
And they made me eat this cronut
And then I stumbled home-a
I fell into my bed
into a cronut coma
Google made me eat a cronut
They made me eat...
Now I'm having cronut dreams
Croissants and donuts on different teams
Battling it out on the front lines
And when it's done they'll be combined
Google made me eat a cronut
They made me eat...
Vanessa GOldstein
@VanessasBiz
Tim Shey
@Moth
Ben Lindell
@benlindellIn The Time of The Gods
Song A Day # 1
[Intro]
C - - -
F - - -
C F
in the time of gods i was an ant
C F G
i overheard it all
Em F
words rained down like "can" and "can't"
C F G
I'd watch and was enthralled
in the time of gods, the couriers
had wings upon their shoes
the changing of the seasons was
the language that they used
E F
all of the other ants though i was crazy
G Am
for talking to the gods
Dm G7
but they chose me, i don't know why
and from my little ant hill
i could barely make out all the shapes
but a rhombus is a diamond that's laid down to die
in the time of ants i was a god
a bright and shiny diamond
down below the barrier
i met my only friendHands (oh no!)
Song A Day #2
First singing note: D
Backup vocals in (parenthese)
[intro]
whistling
Dm - - -
Bb - - -
Dm - - -
Bb - A -
x2
[verse]
F Dm
Did you go bankrupt this morning?
F Dm
Did your castle walls fall all around you?
F Dm
Did you say that you had no warning?
Bb A
Did you?
[pre-chorus]
My eye won't stop twitching
(won't stop twitching)
My heart won't stop pounding
(won't stop pounding)
My hands won't stop touching
(won't stop touching)
My hands
[chorus]
Dm Bb
Oh no! Oh yes oh!
Dm Bb A
Oh no oh yes oh no!
Oh no! Oh yes!
Oh no oh yes oh no!
Would you like me to change the station?
is there somewhere that you'd rather be?
How do you feel about defenestration
Anything?
This house won't stop barking
(won't stop barking)
This dog won't stop coughing
(won't stop coughing)
My hands won't stop holding
(won't stop holding)
My hands
Ending
[Double chorus] Spell or Prayer
Song A Day #307
first singing note: C#
[intro]
F#m - - -
- - - -
[verse]
F#m Bm
I twisted through the darkened streets cause i had lost my way
D C#7
i'd told so many lies that i couldn't keep them straight
F#m Bm
clearly this was punishment, this was how i'd have to pay
D C#7 F#m
once but twice as strong
F#m Bm
you can never really know what's inside somebody's head
D C#7
when you think you're sure that's when someone winds up dead
F#m Bm
but you remember how she moved, can recall the words she said
D C#7 F#m
then again, you must be wrong
[chorus]
F#m
and the tune that plays
over all your days
Bm
seems like a waste on you
D
you're a fire hose
you're a runny nose
C#7
wearing panty hose for two
F#m
you don't know which
lie to stitch
Bm
it's like a witches brew
D
bits of hair
falling everywhere
C#7 F#m
with a spell or prayer you're through
D - - -
C#7 - - -
F#m - - -
[verse 2]
I cut a path across the square and ended up on the edge of town
looking back i knew i'd have to get to higher ground
if the world crashed below me at least i'd be safe and sound
and sleep till morning light
i struggled to my feet after slipping on a rock
and wondering where julie was i wished only for a clock
the sun was all obscured by a dark and massive flock
of parrots who spoke to me in their flight
[chorus 2]
the tune that plays
over all your days
seems like a waste on you
you're a fire hose
you're a runny nose
wearing panty hose for two
you don't know which
lie to stitch
it's like a witches brew
bits of hair
falling everywhere
with a spell or prayer you're through
D - - -
C#7 - - -
F#m - - -
[verse 3]
at the top of mount mcormish i stopped surveyed the land
it would have helped to know what to do, to have some kind of plan
as it was i stepped so blindly, leading only with my hands
could i speak the word
well a terror struck me in my heart like i had never felt
and just as strong and quick the world began to melt
i felt myself in an empty space void of heaven or of hell
but in my mind i heard
[chorus 3]
well the tune that plays
over all your days
seems like a waste on you
you're a fire hose
you're a runny nose
wearing panty hose for two
you don't know which
lie to stitch
it's like a witches brew
bits of hair
falling everywhere
with a spell or prayer you're through
[outro]
C#7 F#m C#7 F#m
with a spell or prayer your through, with a spell or prayer your through
D - - -
C#7 - - -
F#m - C#7 -
F#m, C#7, F#m...end
It May Feel Like Everything’s the Same
Song A Day #308
first singing note: Ab
[intro]
Ab - - -
Ab - - -
[verse]
Ab
on the banks of the river
Ab
watching tugboats tug
F#
i asked a squirrel for a hug
Ab
instead i got an acorn
Bb
thrown into my face
Eb7
and i cried
[chorus]
Ab
why try to be something
Db
other than what you are
Ab Eb7
ain't nothing lies down that path but pain
Ab
change is gonna happen
Db
when you least expect it
Eb7 Db Ab
but it may feel like everything's the same
Ab - - -
[verse 2]
on the top of a building
watching cars like ants
i asked a pigeon to dance
instead i got some feathers
spit out onto my shoe
and i cried
[chorus 2]
why try to be something
other than what you are
ain't nothing lies down that path but pain
change is gonna happen
when you least expect it
but it may feel like everything's the same
Ab - - -
[verse 3]
on the bottom of the ocean
watching starfish crawl
i asked a shark if she wanted to play baseball
instead she up and ate me
now i'm stuck inside her belly
and i died
[chorus 3]
why try to be something other than what you are
ain't nothing lies down that path but pain
change is gonna happen
when you least expect it
but it may feel like everything's the same
change is gonna happen
when you least expect it
but it may feel like everything is the sameThe Large Hadron Collider Still Doesn’t Work
Song A Day #309
first singing note: F
[intro]
2 bars of C
[verse]
C G7 C
The large hadron collider
C F C
is broken once again
[chorus]
G
doesn't it seem like someone somewhere
F
is trying to tell us something?
C - F -
C - - -
[verse 2]
like maybe if they turn that thing on
the world was going to explode
[chorus 2]
do they even know what will happen
tell me, do they know?
C - F -
C - C7
[bridge]
Am G
oh the large hadron collider
F C
looking for the higgs
Am G
boson but will they find it
F C
or will they send us to the big
G - - - G - - - G7 - - -
hole in the sky
[outro]
C
oh wop bam boo bop
C
oh wop bam boo bop
F G
oh wop bam boo bop bay
oh wop bam boo bop
oh wop bam boo bop
oh wop bam boo bop bay
C F G C F G C
large hadron collider don’t turn it on just let it sit there brokenShow Me Your Dorito Face
Song A Day #310
first singing note: B
[verse]
Bm A
What's in a Dorito?
Bm A
Why does it make you jump out of your seat-o?
Bm A
Is it the cheesy cheesy can't be beat-o?
Bm A
Or something more concrete-o?
[chorus]
Bm F#
Show me your Dorito face!
Bm F#
Show me your Dorito Face
Bm F#
Show me your Dorito Face
E
Show me it to me now
F# Bm
Show me your Dortio face
F# Bm
Show me your Dorito face
F# Bm F#
Show me your dorito face
(end on Bm)
I'm All Alone
Song A Day #311
first singing note: D, as pickup to Eb
[intro]
(guitar riff)
Eb - - -
Eb - - -
[verse]
Eb
there's no one here
Bb
theres no one here
Eb
i'm all alone
Bb
im all alone
[chorus]
Cm
looks like it's just
Ab Bb Eb
me myself and i tonight
Eb - - -
Eb - - -
[verse 2]
everybody's gone
everybodys gone
not another soul
not another soul
[chorus 2]
looks like it's just
'ol jonthan mann tonight
Eb - - -
Eb - - -
[bridge]
Bb
an empty house is what i got
Ab
empty as an empty parking lot
Bb
empty as a an empty pot
Ab Cm
as empty as my brain
Cm - - -
[verse 3]
theres no one else no one else
no animals no animals
[chorus 3]
looks like it's just
me myself and i tonight
Eb - - -
Eb - - -
[verse 4]
no beating hearts
no beating hearts
no breathing lungs
no breathing lungs, except for
[chorus 4]
Ol
Jonathan Mann is here tonight
Eb - - -
Eb - - -
[bridge 2]
an empty house is where i sit
empty as a an empty pit
empty as an office where everyone quit
empty as my mind
[outro]
(bam dam doom, a-bam a dam boom etc)
Eb - - -
Bb - - -
Eb - - -
Cm - - -
Ab - Bb -
Eb (end)The Best Day of My Life I Choked on Words and Was Married, continued
Song A Day #332
first singing note:A
chords same as "Best Day of My Life (Pt 1)"
[intro]
1 bar of F
[verse]
in my house there is a room
and in that room there is a drawer
and in that drawer is a list of all my
worries
it's an illustrated list
with notes an annotations
and entries like nature's wrath and
fury
and brain aneurysms from being in a
hurry
i eat too fast
sometimes i go to sleep
thinking i'll never wake
is it only in my mind these thoughts are
turning
or do i die every night
to be revived by the light
of the tower in the clouds softly
burning
and the pitter patter of the rain finally
returning
as it hits the glass
[chorus]
out the window
the sky is overcast
if i could fly i'd follow
birds on their lonely paths
but i swallow all my pills
and am fading fast
close my eyes
[verse 2]
i find the space between
wakefulness and sleep
is the very best time for free associ-
-ation
and most of my ideas
the ones i throw away and keep
come in the shower between exfoli-
-ations
not on the mountain top in mediation
no not at all
jesus said that money
and religion didn't mix
and so they built corporate mega
churches
jesus said that being poor
was the the only way to live
and so we arrest the homeless like they're walking
curses
we cast them out as if there were nothing
worse
than being poor
[chorus 2]
there's no space there
for interpretation
it's an amazing case of blind manifest-
ation
no lonely history celebr-
-ation
defies explanation
[outro]
2 bars of F
Good To Be Home
Song A Day #333
first singing note: E
[intro]
Amaj7 - -
E - -
B7sus4 - -
E - -
Amaj7 - -
E - -
B7sus - -
B7 - -
[verse]
Amaj7 E B7sus4 E
when moses returned/from a long trip to the mountain
Amaj7 E B7sus4 B
when god had gone silent/the commandments had been counted
what's the first thing he said/as he entered his home
after being away for so long
[chorus]
C#m E
did he say, oh! oh!
B7sus4 E
it's good to be home
Amaj7 E
i wanna curl up and snuggle
B
with the one that i love
C#m E
did he say oh! oh!
B7sus4 E
it's good to be home
Amaj7 E
god's great and everything,
B E
but i've had enough
Amaj7 - -
E - -
B7sus4 - -
B7sus 4 - -
B7 - -
B7 - -
[verse 2]
after long years of battle in 1813
when Napolean returned to his Josephine
what's the first thing she heard as he opened the door
was she in his arms before his hat hit the floor
[chorus 2]
did he say, oh! oh!
it's good to be home
i wanna curl up and snuggle with the one that i love
did he say oh! oh!
its good to be home
i like to conquer
but i've had enough
[verse 3]
after a full month of marching and being arrested
a year spent in prison locked up not suppressed
did Ghandi walk peacefully to the room he called home
did he prefer company or did he like to be alone?
[chorus 3]
did he say oh! oh!
its good to be home
wanna curl up and snuggle with the one that i love
oh! oh! its good to be home
let's march for freedom
but i've had enough
[verse 4]
we got trains we got planes we got boats bikes and cars
seems we're always moving where ever we are
but there's nothing like the feeling when you get back to town
and you flip on the light and you set your bags down
[chorus]
and you say oh! oh!
its good to be home
wanna curl up and snuggle with the one that i love
and i say oh! oh! its good to be home
i like to travel
but i've had enough, and i say
[outro]
i like to travel
but i've had enough, and i say
gods great and everything
but ive had enough, and i say
well i like to conquer,
but i've had enough, and i say
lets march for freedom, but for now
let's just cuddle.
Coors Ad, Collaboration
Song A Day #334
first singing note: verse is spoken, but first note is approx. E
[verse]
Em
Coach, I got this song
Am
and it requires collaboration
B7
Will you help me?
C B7
When I say Coors you say ashshshsh
Em
Coors! (ashshsh) Coors! (ashshsh)
Am
When I say coors, you look at your papers
B7
Coors ! Coors!
C B7
Alright let's drop the hook on them now
[chorus]
Em Am
Coors means football
B7 Em
means cold refreshing brew
Em Am
when the mountains get cold
B7 Em
they turn blue.
Seeing Clearly
Song A Day #335
first singing note: G
[intro]
4 bars of F
[verse]
C ` G F
can't see anything, can't see anything
C ` G F
you can't see anything, you can't see anything
C ` G F
While your eating your bagel eating your bagel
C ` G
cant see anything on tv, can't see anything on the street
F
Can't see anything read the book
G
it's blurry everywhere you look
C G F
Oh no no no no, doesn't have to be this way
C G
You should see like oh, oh
Em F
You deserve to see like (You deserve to)
C G
You should see life, You should see life
Em F
You deserve to see life (You deserve to)
[outro]
C G
You should see life, You should see life
Am F G C
with the iLasik procedure it's cool
Black Holes
Song A Day #336
first singing note: C#
[verse 1]
A E
I ask Dan is the mass of a black hole
D E
for all intents and purposes infinite
F#m D
He said I thinks so, he didn't really know tho
A E F#m E
and I needed a metaphor to describe how I was feel-ing
A E
So I told you that the mass of love for you was
D E
more then a million black holes , and you said
[chorus 1]
A E
In reckoning with the singularity
D E A
I require only one infinity as approached that's all that I can wish for
A E
In reckoning with singularity requires only
D E A
one infinity as approached that's all I can wish for
E D E
Whoa, that's all that I can wish for, Whoah
[verse 2]
I ask you if you knew that the frequency of B flat
could make crocodiles sing (Lallalalala)
You said you didn't know, so I told you this all so
It's an app metaphor to describe how I was feeling
Black holes sing a b flat 57
octaves below middle c
F#m D
They will sing that note constantly when they hear the term for an enternity
A E
About 2.5 million years
F#m D
That's a lot of years but it can not compare
A E
to the length of time which I will I love you
[chorus 2]
In reckoning with singularity
require only one infinity as approached that's all that I can wish for
In reckoning with singularity requires only
one infinity as approached that's all I can wish for
Whoa , that's all that I can wish for, Whoa
[verse 3]
I use to think that my heart was a black hole
ripping apart anyone that got near it
I finally turned it off cause I had had enough
the stars they didn't shine, that's how I was feeling
beyond any hopes or dreams suddenly a big bang
and you were there
F#m D
and now my hearts a whole star great big bright and beating star
A E F#m E
Wherever I go there you are its all because you love me
[outro]
A - - -
Esus4 - - -
D - - -
Esus4 - - -
A E D E
Oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
("oh's" continue as backup vocals throughout outro)
A E
A reckoning with the singularity requires only
D E A
one infinity and approach. its all that I can wish for
x4
E D E
Whoa, It's all that I can wish for, Whoa
A
It's all that I can wish for
Time to Save with VMWare: Singing to Save You Time
Song A Day #337
first singing note: C
[intro]
F - - -
C - - -
Am - - -
Bb - - -
[verse 1]
F C
Every business depends on how time is spent
Am Bb C
You can look at the clock and wonder where the time went
[pre-chorus 1]
Dm C
But with VMware, vSphere its a
Bb C
whole new frontier
Dm C
Consolidating servers save money and time
Bb C F
VMWare vSphere its sublime
[chorus 1]
F C
VSphere solutions are easy to use
Dm Bb
Easy to deploy and to manage too
F C
free your IT staff from menial tasks
Dm Bb
With automation capabilities it'll do what you ask
[bridge]
Dm C Dm
New applications provisioned in just minutes
Dm Gm F
Change request response time in just minutes
[verse 2]
Every business depends on how time is spent
You can look at the clock and wonder where the time went
[chorus 2]
Vsphere solutions keep it all up and running with
automated back up disaster recovery
Hardware maintenance Zero downtime
and when it comes time to design
new applications you can test and deploy
by optimizing preproduction staging environments
Your applications will always be available
Your applications will always be available
[pre-chorus 2]
VMWare vSphere its a
whole new frontier
Consolidating servers save money and time
VMWare vSphere its sublime
[chorus 3]
VSphere delivers improved utilization of
servers resulting in fewer resources to manage and
power to store
and buy
Increase your server utilization rate from 5 to
15 percent up to 60 to 80 percent
You may even achieve consolidation ratios
of more than 15:1
[verse 3]
Every business depends on how time is spent you can
look at the clock and wonder where the time went
[outro]
F C F
but not with vm vsphere.
Who Do You Think You Are?
Song A Day # 3
First part spoken
[Vamp on Am]
Am
I am walking down the street and I see a man
He seems pretty friendly so I take his hand
His hand is cold which seems pretty weird
It's hot outside; He's got a great big beard
F
It's hot outside; it's 104
He's leading me towards this great big door
E
He knocks twice and it opens wide
It's pitch black inside!
[Vamp on Am]
There's every single girl I've ever touched
I'm not a stud, it's not saying much
He's gathered them here and I'm wondering why
Bright lights come on and I'm surprised to see
My teachers…all of them
From grade school down to kindergarten
Everybody's staring with evil eyes
I don't know what to say other than: "hi?"
Jonathan, we’re here to judge
Your sexual prowess and fortitude
Your academic performance taken as a whole
And your general attitude
the man's in the middle obviously presiding
inside my gut my quarks colliding
up steps the first girl i ever kissed
i'm really not prepared for this
[chorus]
Em
Who who?
Am
Who do you think you are?
Em
Who Who?
B7
Who do you think you are? x 2
Em
What makes you think you’re so special?
Em Am B7
What makes you think you can do what you please?
Em Am
It is the judgement of this council
B7
That you get down on your knees
[Chorus and out]Elegy For Industry
Song A Day #4
Singing staring note: B
[Intro]
Em - D - C - B7 x 2
[same chords throughout]
Industry was born one day in November
The exact date: no one seems to remember
They say that angels protect her from harm
They say she belongs on no man's arm
Don't take her away from me! x3
Don't take my industry!
When industry was just 8 years old
She filled a purse with all it could
They found her waiting for the old red line
Brought her back before suppertime
If I were, If I were, If I were your industry
I would be, I would be, I would be so happy
[played loose, words spoken]
G - D - Em - Am - C - Em - C
And she cries, on her pillow alone
It's not a big deal. Millions of other girls weeping at any moment.
People making choices.
Now industry is heading for the coast
The one place she misses the most
She starts swimming towards big smoke stacks
And no ones there there bring her back
Don't take her away from me! x3
Don't take my industry!
Don't take her away from me! x3
Don't take my industry!
If I were, If I were, If I were your industry
I would be, I would be, I would be so happy
The Airport Song
Song A Day # 5
D
Well, there's no port like an airport
D7 G
When you're sleeping on the ground
Such a strange space, leaves a strange taste
D
And stranger still the sounds
Bm A
Grab your bags
D D7
We got a party of two
G
Departing for you
D G
Waiting to go fast
Bm
Way up high in the sky
A
Laws of physics defy
G D
And watch the clouds go past
Cuz, there's no port like an airport
It's a singular kinda hustle
Look out the window, see the wind blow
The workers as they bustle
G D
Airport song
G A D
Airport song-eee-ong oh yeah
It Must Be The Weather
Song A Day #6
Gm
I'm tired
F#/Gm
Uninspired
F/Gm
Feeling weak
E/Gm
Can barely speak
Cm
It must be the weather
D7
Or something like that
I'm cranky
And frankly
Got no motivation
Just full of frustration
It must be the weather
Or something like that
[chorus]
D7
It must the weather
Gm
What else could it be?
F
The sun the moon the stars the sky
Cm D7
All bearing down on me
I'm jealous
Of other fellas
With perfect smiles
And flawless style
It must be the weather
Or something like that
Well, I'm leaving
No more dry heaving
I've got no more to give
Gonna find a new place to live
Where I can't blame the weather
Or something like that
[chorus]
[solo over verse]
[end with 1st verse]
EGM, 1up, Goodbye
Song A Day # 7
Em Am
sad sad news coming over the tubes today
Em C B7
a bunch of our favorite podcasts will be going away
and sadder still the news that as the axe fell down on them
the axe that fell fell down as well on the likes of EGM
my heart filled up with saddness when first i heard the news
and soon an angry maddness gripped me as i refused
to believe what i was hearing that my favorite gaming shows
had been replaced by a sorry waste called UGO
well it's say goodbye to shane milke and the rest
ryan and matt i tip my hat you know you boys are the best
just like che jane luke mark and demian and john
in the aftermath we'll forge a path find a way to move on
you entertained me you in formed me
made a conversation out of a one way street
we hung out weekly you'd never bore me
can't believe it's over but you'll land on your feet
so here's to 1up yours retronauts and egm
1up show i love you, you know and the kids at 1upfm
i know it won't be long before i see you all again
the names'll change but love's the same so ghost until thenBoy Just For Boy's Sake
Song A Day # 8
[loose]
D
I'm counting the bricks in the wall
G
I wanna go to the innagrual ball
D
I want to jump asleep
Bm
Stay the same color leaf
A D
All I don't want to do is fall
Turning into a bitter old man
I'm if, or and but, but not and
I'm documents lost
I'm lines never crossed
I'm superstitious and unplanned
I'm a cold chilly wintry blow
I'm a sexual innuendo
I'm mystery meat
I'm using my feet
I'm rinsing off my big toe
I'm counting each and every stair
I'm Living in a grey hair
I'm holding no grudges
I'm warding off smudges
And pudges extraordinaire
I'm planting the seeds that I need
And the ones I don't need I suck seed
I got three blind mice
That started off nice
But now give me advice I don't heed
I'm a habit the world can't break
I'm a dog with a leg that can't shake
I'm empty and full
I'm chemical
I am boy just for boy's sake
I am empty and full, I am chemical
I am boy just for boy's sake
The Deutsch Positivity Anthem
Song A Day # 9
[verse]
Bb C
No one ever makes mistakes
F Gm
and no ones ever wrong
F Gm
what's reality anyway
F Gm
but a future that's come and gone
who would have thought that barak obama
could be our president
anything is possible
there's no need to pretend
[pre chorus]
Bb Am
And I'm positive
Dm F
about everything i can't be quite so sure of
Bb Am
Positive
Dm
That I just don't know
C Bb Am
(whoa ah whoa) Positive
Dm F
that the rain will fall and the sun will shine, will shine again
Bb Am
Positive
F
And that's OK
[chorus]
F Bb
every little thing just rolls on by me
F Bb
never lost or confused or stymied
F Bb
holding on to everything and nothing
C Bb
never ever knowing but always knowing positivley
x2
[verse]
you can lead a thirsty horse to water
but you cannot make her drink
but the distance between that horse and water
is closer than you think
every minute of every day
someone new is born
people making choices
like waves upon the shore
[pre chorus]
positive
that the world for me is just a great big playground
Positive
that I just don't know
postiive
that the wind will blow and the leaves will fall again
Postive
That's OK
[out on chorus]
Işınsu for Berkay
Hey Jonathan,
I thought I could just tell you about us and let you do your magic. I will emphasize on things I really want to be in the song.
So, this is our first anniversary. Our year was amazing, from start to finish. We met at school, through a friend. very quickly we realized we were the same person. Literally, we like the same things, we hate the same things, most importantly we look at the world from very similar eyes. We react the same way to many things. Both of our favourite city in Skyrim is Solitude--I've never met someone else whose fave city was Solitude in Skyrim. (Skyrim, video game. You can put this in the song, it was one of the moments that I knew that he was the one, funny enough.) The first alone time we spent together I was wasted on whiskey, and told him I was a bad person, and the weather was cold, really cold, and I laid down where we were sitting in campus and he hugged me and I'd never felt warmer in my life.
The first week we met we spent almost every minute together and tried very hard to hold back our true feelings. We met on a Saturday, next Saturday we went to this place in our campus-- amazing view. We were drinking beer and I was talking about my past and how I regretted many things and how I thought I was a bad person how I could hurt people-- then and there, abruptly he kissed me, I've never been kissed like that before. That represents many things about our relationship; I have Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety; to be short a whole lot of crazy and he calms me down with his love. I couldn't be happier, I couldn't be more loved, I couldn't be more thankful that he's in my life.
He likes football, video games, literature (Russian literature to be exact) (and he knows Russian and I think that's really sexy), and I always try to make him promise that he will mention me in his book--like a dedication. He wants to be a writer, and I'm sure he will be an excellent one. We shared many many special moments, we suit each other perfectly, and we are both very sure that we will share a future together. We keep "proposing each other" with beer caps (again, can be in the song), we keep talking about our future wedding, the apartment we will have, and the "man cave" that we will built together for both of us once we graduate and have jobs-- god I'm about to cry I love him so much.
He is very special to me. I can't ever stay angry with him, I can't bear seeing him upset, and I hate myself every time I go "crazy" on him, when I'm off my meds. I laugh the hardest when I'm with him, our sense of humour matches perfectly. I just want him to know that he's a very special person. He's an irreplaceable part of my life now, and I'm very very happy he chose to be with me, and most importantly to stay with me.
So this part I kinda really want to include in the song: I promise to him I will never say no to him when he wants to watch a football game, I will always buy him new wallets as they get older, I will always make his wardrobe choices for him so that he can look his best always, I will always love him even if he chops off all his hair, I promise to never stop giving special gifts at every chance; and damn, if he wants so much he can go ahead and buy Fifa 17 if he hasn't already, I don't understand the appeal and I think it's stupid but I will even play with him if he wants me to.
I guess that's enough to work with? :D
His name is Berkay; pronounced: Behr (like saying "where" you put the sound "b" at the start) + Kai (like kai-pond)
I hope this helped. Let me know!
Chorus
I’m a beta
And I’m a beta
And we’re both beta as fuck!
If you’re looking for an alpha male here
Then you’re shit out of luck
Domination
And total power
These are not things that we crave
Our self worth is not contingent
On how many women we’ve laid
verse a
We know that we’re real men
though our man card’s null and void
Don’t need MRAs to tell us so
and if they did we’d be annoyed
We’re not afraid of how we feel
even if we do feel afraid
We’re not afraid to let it show
sometimes of that hate brigade
verse b
Toxic masculinity
Permeates our culture
Says women are a prize to be
Conferred after adventures
It says don’t show your emotions
Be violent or be killed
It says you’re owed the life you want
And so if you’re unfulfilled
It’s not your fault
Must be the feminists
Must be those women
That won’t have sex with you
I’m a beta
And I’m a beta
And we’re both beta as fuck!
If you’re looking for an alpha male here
Then you’re shit out of luck
Domination
And total power
These are not things that we crave
Our self worth is not contingent
On how many women we’ve laid
never felt comfortable
acting invulnerable
never felt compatible
with acting infallible
never felt entitled
enough to act hostile
never felt exceptional
just cause of my genitals
oh my goodness, oh my gosh
I think we've gone full mchintosh!
Here is a big list of everything about my brother Simon Gadsby. Feel free to pick and choose the bits you feel would be most relevant/useful, or let me know if you need more information. As I mentioned, it's for his 30th birthday that's probably worth a mention somewhere
Likes:
Animals of all kinds, especially dogs, painted hunting dogs and naked mole rats!
Dislikes:
Not a lot...really! Generally gets on with everyone and doesn't complain about much (except possibly Donald Trump and Brexit, but don't think that's probably for the song!)
Backstory:
Born in 1986
Raised in England in little village called Drighlington
Went to study Zoology/animal biology at university in Stirling Scotland where he met his wife Megan (who is from New Jersey)
Moved to the USA and married Megan on 10th April 2010
Has lived in New Jersey since then and has set up his own business in training and pet care.
Family:
Mum and Dad in the U.K. are called Jean and Paul
2 older sisters - Nicola and Louise
Brothers in law - Nicolas husband greg and my husband Matthew
Nephew - (Nicola's son) Tommy who is 3
Wife - Megan
Massive extended family of pets including...
His own dog Floyd the plotthound
Chunk the rabbit - who stayed in the UK but is still living happily with mum and dad as an indoor rabbit!
Chester, Abi, Fergie and Eddie - the other family dogs, most who are rescues.
Hope that's enough and please let me know if you need anymore.Get the magic of your glory days
Put em with the moon all ablaze
You’ll find yourself in places
You’ve never been before
You’ll know how to get back home
By the light of the stars
Hold the candle in your palm
Watch the flame burning calm
Stuck between the light and dark
You’re too bright for your heart
The creeping midnight comes
By the light of the stars
Once a herald angel sang
When the earth was crash boom bang
We can never go back there
It’s just not who we are
But we see the reflection
By the light of the stars
Bye bye Bannon
Bannon may be gone
But the president still is a nazi
Keep the pressure on
Till we get impeachment yahtzee
It’s got to be impeachment
All the way down
For aiding and abetting
The orange mad clown
The white supremacy is here to stay
But let’s celebrate todayBye bye bill orielly
bye bye Jason chaffetz
if the world don’t end this year
maybe just maybe we’ll make it
i hope you like the wilderness
rich though you may be
you’ll be forgotten not long after you die
forget about history
nobody will remember you
not even a little bit
not even as a tiny footnote
you’ll be gone and then that’s it
and all of your money
you can’t take that when you go
but the pain you’ve caused your families
will live on in the family flow
your children will resent you
and all the hate you spread
you’ve made life miserable
for everyone in your orbit
and soon we’ll all forget you
I think you know we will
so bye bye mr chaffetz
and see you later bill
Bye bye Martin Shkreli
You represent the gross underbelly
Of this capitalist system that we’ve all created
You embody our frustration, our powerlessness and our hatred
Bye bye Martin Shkreli
I hope you go to prison and it’s really smelly
And somebody in there was affected by the shit you pulled
So you can stand eye to eye with him and try to feed him your bull
I have friends that defend you
Saying that your goal was research
Despite overwhelming evidence
That you are simply just a jerk
Who loves money
More than anything
More than anything
More than anything
Bye bye Martin Shkreli
You go with fraud like peanut butter to jelly
I hope the FBI confiscates the Wu Tang Album
And then gives it to Bill Murray, who then shares it with his friends
Bye bye Martin Shkreli
I really don’t hate you, that would be silly
I don’t know you at all, I’m sure your heart beats still
But it seems to me it’s been buried underneath a mountain of dollar billsHis wife just left him
She was 9 months pregnant
Then she had the baby
And he didn’t even come
Bye bye Mooch
We hardly knew ya
Bye bye Mooch
The orange clown’ll screw ya
In just 10 days
You’ve earned permanent vacation
You’ve killed you credibility
And murdered your reputation
The president said come aboard
Against the wishes of his advisors
You thought, oh for me it’ll be different
But now you’ll get what you deserve
Bye bye Mooch
Don’t let the door hit ya
Bye bye Mooch
That orange clown’ll git ya
Bye Bye
Paul Ry
An
You got high
on your own
Supply
An
The writing on the wall in blood
Is telling you it’s time to cut loose
The picture of Ayn Rand you masturbate to
Has fed you poison so the only choice now
Bye Bye
Paul Ry
An
We know why
You’ll stop try
anC’mon Rod
Make him look you in the eye
C’mon Rod
Make him look you in the eye
He’d rather do it on twitter
Or just have you resign
C’mon Rod
Make him look you in the eye
Comon Adam and Michael
We all read the NYTimes
Are you sure you sifted through what is truth and lies
The truth was something
You didn’t clearly define
C’mon Rod
Make him look you in the eye
C’mon people
Into the streets let’s ride
This is one of those moments do or die
Will we try to save Mueller
Or just wave good bye
C’mon Rod
Make him look you in the eye
Insight into impact
Gotta cut through the noise
Stories matter
There’s a person behind that data point
Know your audience
Authenticity is key
Tailor health messages
To your community
Powerhouses of public health
Talking about communication
Ask people what they want to talk about
Be a servant leader
Your neighborhood should not be
hazardous to your health
The SG validated my career choice
Don’t forget to check your spelling
70% of teens
Trust influencers more than celebrities
They decide what to look at within 2 seconds
of scrolling through their feed
Insight into impact
Gotta cut through the noise
Stories matter
There’s a person behind that data point
Know your audience
Authenticity is key
Tailor every message
To a specific community
[words]
Influencers don’t need a ton followers
To be effective
Flawless uses drag queens
They’re the right messenger
Repurpose existing content
Appropriate for the platform
CDCgov is exploring Instagram stories
They’re looking 100
Even after all these years
Most folks are confused
When you first meet your client
They take one look at you
And they’re not sure what you do
They’re not sure what to expect
Even though the data shows
They they’ll get
Better faster
With a case manager
People do better
With a case manager
Oh oh oh oh
CMSA
Oh oh oh oh
We help you navigate
The complex healthcare system
All the rules and regulations
With empathy and compassion
We’re CMSA
People do better with a case manager on board
Issues -
Readmissions
Getting client back to work
Denials
Case loads
Regulations
We’re here to learn
And to network
But we’re also here for the food
This is a long shot. the longest shot of all perhaps, but I have a dog who saved my life. he is turning 10. his name is Bartleby. He is pro women's rights, loves popcorn, and is a Welsh Corgi. I have been writing songs to him and about him for a while. HOWEVER, your work is truly amazing and...in case on July 3rd you aren't sure what to write about-- my dog is a great choice. I would not have gotten to where I am without him, and am very emotional about him turning 10. This might sound crazy. But, you never know unless you try? Here he is in a tuxedo: Bartleby in a tuxedo. Also, feel free to ignore this if it's annoying. "We don't know what we want until we put it in context
‪@BrianCarl‬ It sucks being a guy on OKcupid
Because it turns out that most guys are stupid
Every girl gets
1000 messages
And 900 hundred of them are worthless
The other hundred are varying degrees
of witty, smart and sweet
But by then a woman's Down in the riverbed
All dried up
We been hunting fossils
We can never find enough
Army ants are working
Delivering the news
Deepest desert evening
Sunset golden hues
Don’t fall in the cactus
You might hurt your butt
Get it out with tweezers
And I’ll tell you what
This riverbed been dry
All my whole life
And in the fading light
We’re gonna be all right Don’t forget to pack those rainclouds
Put them with the sleet and snow
You’re gonna miss that weather
The further west you go
The fog is replaced by CO2
Hanging heavy on the 405
And it starts to get to you
The driving just to stay alive
Sure some of it is beautiful
Stars reflected in the city lights
Pretty people everywhere you look
Shorts and t shirt at night
But don’t forget to pack that raincloud
Don’t forget to pack your heart
Airplanes give the illusion
That you’re not worlds apart
Candy colored lipstick loving
Fronds blowing in the wind
One foot in the movie business
You’ll come running back again
but I have no doubt
That you’ll figure this all out
even if you ignore me now
You will learnOh don’t be so sensitive
You say like it’s a bad thing
What do you do
Do you spend all day
Locked off and hiding
From the feelings that you have
The good, the ugly and the bad
You don’t see how the words you say
Might make so I’ll say nothing
The words that you’re not allowed to say
In polite company
They didn’t start out that way
At some point somebody
Said, “Hey I don’t like it when you use that word
Nigger, kike, spic those words really hurt
So I’m gonna call you out when you use them
And hope that i get heard
And I know that you feel
So defensive
I feel defensive sometimes too
But I hope that
If someone hurts your feelings
They’d say sorry, I will try not to hurt you
The language that you use can be
A clue the respect
Or lack thereof that you might have
For someone you’ve never met
And sticks and stones do break bones
So do racist cops caught on camera phones
But the epithets hurled when they’re alone
May offer up a clue as to
What’s in their heart and head
Tell me what is in your heart
And I’ll say what’s in mine
I think humans are all the same
We just want love all the time
But in my head are thoughts so wild
And offensive they’d make Hitler smile
And if one of them becomes a word
I apologize and
Does 4 debates seem like enough?
Not to me, no not to me
So who’s responsible for that
It’s the head of the DNC
Her name is Debbie Wasserman Schultz
And in 2008
She worked on Clinton’s campaign
She’s decided to limit debate
In the hopes that less people
Will know Bernie’s name
The less debates they have
The better Clinton’s chances
This is dirty politics, oh yeah
You better believe this is some back room dancing
But you can call the DNC
And tell them you want more debates
Like in a healthy democracy
202-863-8000
Hey, Debbie Wasserman Schultz
We’re gonna call and complain until we get results
Only 6 debates, we think that’s whack
We think there ought to be at least triple that
Did you know that the head of the DNC
Has decided that there shall be
Only 6 debates
6 measly debates
Well don’t you think that’s a little crazy
Hello, hello out there are you a Democrat
Are you supporting Bernie Sanders like me?
Or maybe your candidate of choice
Is Hillary or O’Mally
Well did you
Only 4 debates
The DNC machine
Is grinding up it’s gears
National campaign co-chair
There’s gonna only be 4 debates
And there oughtta be at least triple thatHi there, I’m Jonathan Mann from Jersey City, 333 Fairmount Avenue.
DEMS 1. I want to thank you for your outspoken opposition to Donald Trump’s bigotry and ask that you keep it up. He must not be allowed to appoint to his cabinet the kinds of horrifying people he has put forth. Please keep the pressure on.
DEMS 2. I’m calling to respectfully demand that you reach across the aisle and stand with Lindsay Graham in asking Congress to investigate how Russian hacking might have influenced both the campaign and the electoral process itself.
DEMS 3. I’m calling to ask that, no matter what proposals Trump and his administration put forth, even if they contain some good elements, you stand in opposition to his proposals. I think stonewalling is a terrible thing and in normal times I’m against it, but we do not live in normal times. I respectfully demand that you stand against Trump at every turn, no matter what. This will be my number one priority when deciding who to vote for in 2018 and beyond.
4. Please support the recently introduced H R 6382 no religious registry act.
Meditation can be intimidating
Like how do you
Just sit and do nothing?
With Calm.com
They’ll guide you through
You can download the app for free
at calm.com / sleep with me The way you move
Like the planets
Were all aligned
Just where you’re standing
The way you talk
Like nobody hears
The words you say
But you keep talking anyway
Everybody’s gonna try and take it
But
I don’t want to talk about this
Can we talk about it later
Can we pretend this conversation
Is a hungry alligator
Let’s leave it in the swamp
and come back when we’re ready
My palms are full of ice
And my eyeballs are sweaty
We can talk
About it tomorrow
I got lots left to do
Before I call it quits
I got fire in my loins
And cheese in my arm pits
You don’t want me listening
To what you have to say
I won’t remember most of it
Tomorrow anyway
We can talk about it tomorrow
When the snow is piling up
WE can talk about it until the plow
Puts all the snow in our cups
We can talk about it tomorrow
While the wind rages on
From the corners of the evening
To the great expanse of dawn
It’s not even a big deal
Just some random thoughts and things
But I got dishes to do
And I got songs to sing
I got baths to take
And brains to turn off
My liver’s made of turpentine
And my skull’s gone soft Running through the dark and you’re trying to make all your connections
Everything you’re looking for just when you’re least suspecting
You’re just the person for the job the task at hand
You speak a language that only you can understand
Can you do what you have to do?
Hunker down and say the things that nobody wants said
Realize that everyone you love will someday wind up dead
Get up in the morning anyway and greet the sun
Put your pants on a leg at a time just like anyone
Can you do what you have to do?
Can you do what you have to do
When the odds are looking bleak
When your face is turning blue
And you can not speak
Can you do what you have to do
When the world is covered in dust
When your tumbling down can you
Do what you must
Father to the feelings that you don’t know how to name
Mother to the power and the potential in the shame
You can have it both ways if you can find the words
Can you rile up when needs exciting and leave the rest undisturbed
Can you hear my stuffed up face
Singing to you tonight
My snot has not kept up the pace
With the rest of my body’s fight
I gotta get more sleep
I gotta take more care
To get this snot going
Everywhere
Can you hear my stuffed up face
Singing to you tonight
Can you really run out of luck
Can you really get unstuck
Driving a pickup truck
Through the desert in the mud
Is this really all there is
Are you a summary of things you did
Does grammar matter if
You’re fighting tooth and blood
Can you party with captain hook
Can you give me another look?
With every cliche in the book
Raining down like tears
When the animals go to sleep
And the fear they feel is steep
Then you know it’s time to keep
The promises you’ve made here
So don’t count your chickens yet
Don’t unload your red corvette
If you’re apartment allows no pets
Then cockroaches will have to do
Cuz I’m running out of luck
And I’m starting to give a fuck
Headlong in a pickup truck
I’ve got my sights set on you
the north star is shrinking
and i cannot find my home
and lately i've been thinking
that i should sell all that i own
nuclear fusion
in my heart and in my mind
i can't keep a straight face
layers of gas form
and light can't get through
then it seeps and explodes
and it all starts anew
i've been drifting
for so many years
i can't keep a straight face
have you ever smiled
at every person
you passed on the street
they all smile back
they have nothing against you
you'd be friends if you were to meet
from the loneliest beggar
to the most powerful kings
flotsam and jetsam
in the big scheme of things
the joke is on me
when i feel important
i can't keep a straight face
there's a hole in my uke
like the hole in my heart
but it makes me sing better
it makes me less hard
the core of the matter is strong
and i can't keep a straight face Can’t locate
Myself in space
Where’s my feet
Where’s my knees
I’m all torn up
With a droopy face
I’m a mismatch
This this that
Catch my falling thoughts
Before they fade into the distance
I can’t remember
Another instance
Of feeling out of sorts
Like this
Of all the last resorts
I missed
Oh well
I guess I’ll go for a run
Cards or die
Cards or die
You need games
In your life
We’ll bring the games
Rain or sun
Cards or die
We bring the fun
Complex games
Fast moving games
Everything in between
Bring Cards or Die
To your event
And now it’s a party
Old games you remember
Connect 4 and Battleship
Newer games you’re gonna love
Catan and Exploding Kittens
Cards or Die will come armed
With the knowledge of every game
Teach the folks at your event
Your attendees will be amazed
Cards or die
Cards or die
You need games
In your life
Complex games
Fast moving games
Everything in between
Bring Cards or Die
To your event
And now it’s a party
Old games and new games
For any kind of event
Games to liven up the day
Come to the games tent
They met at a dance in the Aragon Ballroom
And they’ve been married for 60 years
They went to DC for their honeymoon
To see the cherry blossoms so bright and clear
He was an architect at goodyear
She was a high school secretary
He likes to do crossword puzzles
She likes crafts and QVC
Carl and Dorothy Put Seer
They really love to polka
They love Jan, Lyn, Dave, Matt, Beth,
Amy, Erin, Brian, Scarlett and Laura
Carl has been to all 50 states
And if there’s one thing that we know
Even after all these years
They still love each other so
Sue Hertz
212-236-5141 •
• Her new degree is a Master's of Science in Land Resources and Environmental Science
• She is super tall, blond, and beautiful, both inside and out
• She has a passion for interior design and decorating (especially faux finishing and animal print)
• She used to breed cocker spaniels
• She went to Augustana College when her kids were grown to complete her undergrad and graduated with a 4.0/Summa Cum Laude
• She graduated with a 4.0 when she completed her Master's from Montana State University in Bozeman, MT
• She creates beautiful memories and experiences for other people
• She makes up epic bedtime stories for her grandson (as she did for her children)
• She really loved the book "The Four Agreements"
• She has a very special bond with her grandson
• To know her is to love her
I'm carla and he is Eddie
Just to give you a bit of context - this has been a ridiculously busy couple of months planning our non traditional wedding0 we are "eloping" alone to Jamaica and having what we are calling a "happily ever after" tour where we have several small parties for family and friends and travel to them versus one big party. this works for several reasons for one thought is that would be less stressful.... It has NOT been less stressful!! So thank you for your patience while I tried to get time to sit down and make a list for a song. I still don't feel like I am doing ti justice or am listing fun things that could make a song, but I figure you can read it, maybe take a look at our wedding website?
www.rosinski-sanford.com
and then just cherry pick what you want to use. I don't have any preference of what to use or what not to use
our proposal story is on the website. (lola our dog was our witness) {(we are more than obsessed with lola and I often make up songs for her and dance around the kitchen. she loves. Eddie doe not love it as much when I do this for him which is why I think it is perfect to hire you to do it instead!! )
here is my random thoughts list:
I am a psychotherapist (or mental health therapist)
Eddie is a research scientist working in cell therapy in the biotech world
Eddie LOVES comics- not a big fan of DC, more fan or Marvel- DC always screws shit up
but everyone loves batman I suppose- and I have no exposure really to comics and one day he presented batman to me as a case study regarding childhood trauma (remember he watched his parents murder and that is what led him to crime fighting) and so I was intrigued and had fun hashing it all out.
Eddie grew up in NC - fayetteville to be specific which is an army base town. his father was a career army guy, his mother was from korea. (they have been separated for years)
Eddie went to NC state for biology, screwed around and had to go into the army for a couple years, and then went back to NC state and graduated,.. just took a little longer than 4 years.
I grew up in buffalo- I love the cold, eddie hates it.
We met in NC
I moved to NC from boston when my mom got sick in order to be closer to and care for my parents
Eddie and I loved a block away from each other.
I never thought I would fall for a southern man.
but he was progressive and agreed with my sometimes radical views
he agreed that the personal is political
he was chivalrous but never condescending
and he was clearly a feminist in every way (all very important to me)
I finally let my self enjoy some traditional courting
We both love food and wine- eddie considers himself a foodie
he cooked for us on our second official date
on our first date we went to Maru
and then bounced to more bars to continue talking. ended up closing the bars and talking more outside until finally having our first kiss before we went home.
on an early date we sat around my living room listening to old music and drinking and talking about favorite music and how it effects us
these days we have nights where we drink too much wine and sing around the kitchen table together
he LOVES karaoke
I was never really a good cook and eventually eddie has taught me and now I am pretty dan good if I do say so myself
when It was time for me to leave nc he decided to come with me and took a huge risk leaving all he ever knew
but it worked out :) he got a great job and me :)
I always get the words to songs wrong and he thinks its hilarious
my dog is obsessed with me and it took her years to like him
he is now obsessed with her too and we have "lola time" at night where we play with her
he brought kitty (who we call bad kitty bc he is bad) and I had Mr Man how is very stoic
we often joke that kitty (a tuxedo cat ) is new money and wears fancy clothes to show off and mr man (who is a Persian cat) is old money and has no time for such shenanigans.
despite their difference they all rejoice loudly and energetically nightly when we reunite as a family (and suffer sadly each morning when we depart)
a comic reference-
he calls us wonder twin soul mates- and that together we can do things he has never been able to do before :)
I'm an only child and he has a big sister who was like a second mom to him but now is a friend and i am excited to have her as a sister.
some other silly facts-
he loves sneakers and collected them for years- sold his collection to buy my engagement ring (his holy grail that he sold were burgundy air jordan 5)
he found a new talent in bocce and plays with local scientists in a bocce league
karaoke of course, but I am not into this in public, just in the kitchen
someday i think we will have a performance show :)
we are trying to be gardeners - patio gardeners
we love listening to spooky podcasts
we LOVE to grill- but unfortunately right now only have a little pathetic 10 inch grill on the patio. We dream of a back yard some day and a real grill :)
i call him my love and my hunny (and like to make up songs that go like- "my hunny is my love and my love is my hunny")
I could never be as great of a person as I can be with him
I could never be a 10th of as happy as I am because of him
He is my feminist knight in shining armor that rescued me because he didn't think I needed rescuing
He loves Marvel Comics yeah
She had no exposure so he showed her Batman
Sure I know that’s DC
But they looked at it psychoanalyicallly
That’s Eddie and Carla
That’s Carla and Eddie
She’ll tell you that he’s her best friend
She’ll tell you how he’s so patient
They met down in NC
They lived a block apart and it’s plain to see
Eddie loves Carla
And Carla loves Eddie
He sold his sneaker collection
To buy her engagement ring
She passes out after eating bagels
They love to go adventuring
They laugh a lot
Now they’re gonna tie the knot
Each other’s all they’ve got
They’re in love
They wanna be back yard gardeners
Carla always mistakes the words
And Eddies this is so funny
Bad Kitty’s new and Mr Man’s old money
That’s Eddie and Carla
That’s Carla and Eddie
The personal is political
Eddie can hang with Carla’s radical
Eddie loves karaoke
hunny is my love and my love is hunny
Eddie loves Carla
Carla loves Eddie
Carla says she could never be as happy
He knows she doesn’t need rescuing
Carla says she is a better person
Because of the love she shares with Eddie
They laugh a lot
Now they’re gonna tie the knot
Each other’s all they’ve got
They’re in love I don't want no chrismas lights
Don't want no apple sauce
I don't want no jesus christ
don't want no santa claus
You know what would be nice?
What'd get me drinking nog
A great big carol of blahs
when the sun doesn't come out
and the moon looks mad like it'll snap you in her jaws
that's when the only thing out of your mouth
should be a christmas carol of blahsHe likes pop corn and BBQ shapes
The National and the XX
The mighty Dees, non fiction books
And playing all day with Max
He doesn’t like coriander
Or taking the rubbish bins out
He likes golf and new water bottles
He loves Tucker and Scout
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline loves Tom
He’s inquisitive and smart
Funny and handsome
He’s determined
Loyal and kind
He’s friends with everyone
Caroline yeah Caroline
Caroline loves Tom
He’s colorblind
He gets hay fever
He works in innovation
They met a house party
6 years ago
Their first day was at Barney Allen’s
They bought their first house in Cremorne
He proposed in Italy
And now they’re getting married
Together for eternity *Buying a mattress
Shouldn’t break the bank
So that’s why every night
I thank
Goodness for Casper
Goodness for Casper
Shockingly low prices
For a high quality mattress
Casper.com/sleepwithme
50 dollars off any mattress you see
Casper.com/sleepwithme
Promo code
sleepwithmeObsessively engineered
The perfect mattress for everyone here
You could be living the dream
Of comfort, support, temperature and durability
That’s Casper
That’s Casper
Soft and cushy just so
And also excellent support and keeps the air flow
And it lasts for such a long time
Try it for 100 nights and return
The met in college at San Diego State
They were friends, and then love came
Then Dinkleman met kitty meow meow
Herbal barefoot forever and now
Cat and Dustin
Dustin and Cat
Mystic, dreamy
They do it like that
Sunshine, beaches
And succulent plants
Under the moon
A vagabond dance
She’s a yogi, loves the Dead
Wanderlust writer from the heart and head
He’s a traveler all around the globe
A photographer everywhere he goes
#LaJolla Livin’
Good Grammar is sexy
#LaJolla Livin’
Waking up in neverland
#LaJolla Livin
Summer solstice story
#LaJolla Livin’
I’ve found my tribe and best friend
Cat and Dustin
Dustin and Cat
Mystic, dreamy
They do it like that
Sunshine, beaches
And succulent plants
Under the moon
A vagabond dance
We want to hear Cat Stevens
Interviewed by Marc Maron
Don’t you think it’s time
I really think it’s time
So tweet at marc maron
And also cat stevens
Tellc
Hear about his life
We want to hear about his lifeThere’s been big waves in enterprise
Operations and marketing too
The wave is crashing over HR
And now it’s come for you
Are you gonna get up on that surfboard
And say ok let’s DO this
You turned off sharepoint years ago
And nobody noticed
Ey ey ey
Get off the beach and catch the wave
Forget status and pay grade
We got to reach everyone
Bechtel is using data
And Watson to predict
How things are gonna play out
So they can make decisions quick
Greg is driving for Uber
The onboarding was fantastic
Make sure to rate your drivers
The consequences can be drastic
Dow’s employees were weary
From the pace of rapid change
A 200 word press release
Was not enough to help em see the way
They piloted with 4000 users
A new way to get the message out
With exclusive content like bonus multipliers
They’re at 45000 now
And it takes an average of 7 months
For a man to say I love you
Pam helped rebrand Delphi
In that amount of time, too
They were coding in html
Every time they wanted to post
Now they got 12,000 users
Watching their videos
Sometimes you have to communicate
Some really, really boring stuff
It’s all right to push back on that
And say no, we’ve had enough
Erica ditched newsletter
And only one person even cared
If no one’s gonna read something
Just delete it, don’t be scared
CHORUS
You’re sitting in the corporate crow’s nest
You can see it all from that spot
Don’t be the canary in the coal mine
Or the messenger that gets shot
Your worst work will go unnoticed
That’s the creative process
Get from suck to not suck
Everything is fine and you’re kicking ass
Ah ah ah
Telling great stories that go far
Communicators in charge
Let’s get it done
She’s a school bus driver
He’s a chef
It was at a backyard party
That the two of them met
4 years then they married
And now Ed would like to say
dear beloved cathy
Happy happy birthday
Happy Birthday Cathy
Maybe go see Dollywood
Ed will cook some fresh fish for you
I know it’ll taste so good
Head to a casino
Find some games to play
Spend time with the grandkids
Cathy it’s your birthday
They were suppose to go
To the isle of st. thomas
but then Irma came
And they had to break that promise
But all is not lost because
Vacation is in your heart
Take each others hand now
And you know, that’s the start
Happy Birthday Cathy
Maybe go see Dollywood
Ed will cook some fresh fish for you
I know it’ll taste so good
Head to a casino
Find some games to play
Spend time with the grandkids
Cathy it’s your birthday
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Hudson valley tech Ashokan Community
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Be as open and present as you can be
There’s a finite
Number of spoons
And you’ll never get back
A spoon that you use
And you can’t know
How many spoons a person has
You can borrow spoons from yourself
But there’s consequences
Everybody take care of yourself
Put on your own mask before you help somebody else
Feel the relief of crossing things off your list
But forgive yourself for all the things you might have missed
The goats are really friendly
Secret fascination with covered bridge restoration
Kale is the maté pusher
Jameson Hampton
Jamey
Buffalo is the home of bad sports
Non binary
There’s a finite number of spoons
You can’t know how many someone else has
When you use them they are gone
You can borrow spoons from your future self
But there’s consequences
Microagressions as annoying mosquitos
Nobody is the Terminator
Self care
Put you own oxygen math before someone else
Feeling relief of crossing things off the list
Forgiving yourself with all the things that you missed
Jamey was so helpful I’m going to go ask annoying questions
Ruthie
Programming with biological systems
Clothing that opens and closes
Reading to changes in the body
bacteria from soy beans
Not always predictable
Concrete or foam from mushroom roots
Mushroom bricks
Mushroom styrofoam
Beats concrete in strength test
Mushroom leather
Mushroom clothes
How does the environment effect how a silkworm spins
Giant silkworm dome - 6500 of them
Thickness of guide thread
Light that hits the silk worms
Speculative augmented biological systems
Regenerative medicine
Ears that are grown in apples
Spinal cord asparagus
Growing just cow skin
Stronger than steel, Flexible than nylon, Hardier than kevlar - spider silk
Manufacturing new silk
Store data in DNA
One connects us to the environment, one disconnects
Did all these people make your system better
Or did they just want to have their sig on a cool parchment
Siren goes off at noon
People looking at screens and pointing at things
Building reliable systems
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Hudson valley tech Ashokan Community
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Be as open and present as you can be
There’s a finite
Number of spoons
And you’ll never get back
A spoon that you use
And you can’t know
How many spoons someone has
You can borrow spoons from yourself
But there’s consequences
Everybody take care of yourself
Put on your own mask before you help somebody else
Feel the relief of crossing things off your list
But forgive yourself for all the things you might have missed
You’re not the Terminator!
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Hudson valley tech Ashokan Community
Yopp! Yopp! Don’t fall in the creek!
Be as open and present as you can be
Mushroom bricks
Mushroom clothes
Mushroom leather
Mushroom styrofoam
Ears grown in apples
Giant silkworm dome
Storing data in DNA
Clothes that open and close
Spinal cord asparagus
Growing cow skin
Speculative augmented
Biological systems
Spider silk is
stronger than steal
My brain is exploding
How is any of this real?
Catskills is the largest watershed in the nation
The reservoir powers NYC’s reservoir
2nd Oldest resevroir in NY
470,000 cubic metrics of water
370,000,000 year old rocks
There are bathrooms everywhere
Don’t fall into the creek
Birds of Prey will not be at the gong meditation
Go look at the 370
Million year old rocks
Catskills is the largest watershed in the nation
Nit ee ya wants to make a difference
And she wears a lot of hats
And she infiltrated the PTA
Her kid doesn’t know it yet
But he’s gonna study CS
She forces older siblings to code at their little brother’s birthday
Nitya NIT EE YA
Many different hats
Tech communites
Consulting
Infiltrated PTA
Parent
Works at startup
Hackerprenuerism
Create new and amazing thing
How can I take it back to my community and make change
Distributed systems and fault tolerance
Never had to think twice about being a woman engineer
Started out as a researcher Motorola
Failure happens -learned at Motorola
And then ten years ago people buy Apple watch
Rethinking crowdfunding
Used to talking to people in the halls, watercooler
Organizing a community
Non-tech expertise
How to brew beer, how to program that robot to brew beer
STEM pipeline
Her kid doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going into CS
Backfill the pipeline
CS Coding for kids
Siblings at birthday party were forced to do an hour of code
They have Frozen now
Jon Resig
Art history
Librarian
He provides access to knowledge
And empowers people
Solve your own problems
Adapt that to solve other’s
Japanese woodblock printing
Searching by image
Don’t watch the Keanu Reeves Ronen movie
Use cell phone to take a photo of a print
Scraped from museums and didn’t ask permission
Went to a symposium, and tried to explain, they didn’t get it, it was stressful
When they used it though they got excited
Aid art historians
Not replace
Removing the tedious work
Looks like a default bootstrap
Instead of playing a video game he was cropping Japanese images
Mike Zamansky
Doesn’t want CS to become math
Coding school - skill of today
Education - foundation for skills of the future
Learn to make an iOS app in n weeks
Experienced teachers
A long term plan
Less is more
Martin Babinec
TriNet
Moved his family to Little Falls
Upstate has great assets that should be fueling startups
Best talent leaves
The key is culture
Giving before trust is earned
Give before you get
Pay it forward
Small gives across broad audiences
What do we know, who do we know, what can we do
Because I said I would
Great time to be in open source
Open source is eating the world
Traditional companies are using open source
Applied outside of tech
Open source washing machines
Open source drones
Fashion
Photo
Bee hives
Seeds
Food
Cola
Beer
Cider
Street lamps
Education
Textbooks
Shakespeare
Art and culture
Religion
Government
Steonography
Fauxpen source - claims to be but isn’t
Open washing - marketing but not real
OSI
Mauyra Couvares
ScriptEd
Unconscious bias
Keep ourselves from being overwhelmed
By making
11 million bits of info every moment
only process 40 bits
Four legs, looks angry, big fangs
You see something scary, you turn and run
We’re all biased
Left right left left right right
Little bits of bias have big consequences
Diversity is a competitive advantage
Do you see a frog
Do you see a horse
Is the dress blue
Or is the dress gold
Designing for inclusion
Why care about design
The scythe was invented in 500 BC
Progressive Enhancement
Why do we have 2 sexes?
.net open source community
Jasmine was in a DDR club
It’s hard to drive stick shift in New York
Things her young self would have wanted to know like
How does the internet work
Failing a class is a sunk cost
Students get antsy after 30 minutes
Gotta give them second chances
Jasmine wants them win
Thalida’s robotics team
Was at the world championship
It looked like a diversity stock photo
She expected the same
When she started working in tech
And she was horrified to learn oh no
You think you’re ready to hire
Jem says stop
You can’t blame the pipeline
Jem says just stop
What do you mean by culture fit
Jem says stop
Your hypoallergenic dog
Also says stop
Daniel wants you to
Come work for an org
They’re starting to adopt
Scrum and agile
The budgets are smaller
The tech is old and obtuse
But doing something
That’s good for the world will make you smile
Think of all the meetings
And all the bureaucracy
100s of years of standards groups
Made Scotty’s job easy
The cloud it giveth
The cloud taketh away
And so we can’t have
The internet of nice thangs
Kate was living in spreadsheet hell
But was getting 130% ROI
So she built an app
And eventually found investors
But she has a no assholes policy
No assholes, no no assholes
No assholes allowed
Do some push ups
before pitching
No assholes allowed
Jenn draws erotic pixel art
Jenn gets yelled at on the internet
NBA stands for nothing but attorney’s
Jenn’s worried about uncontrollable ephemerality
Art can be a space for empathy
Is something white people say when they fuck up
We’re building shitty software, making shitty art
In conclusion capitalism
Dennis Crowley
Entrepenueur sounds like someone that just builds things for the sake of builds things
Everyone thinks startups are a Rocketship ride
More like a rollercoaster ride
emotions
keeping people around
Everything ever done built around one failure after another
Everything before 4sq failed
4sq just hasn’t failed yet
Being told the thing you’re working on is a dumb idea
Bored at job made Dodgeball
Vindigo
Man of leisure
Get a 1up for running across the 1up
Pac-manhattan
(dumb idea)
OMG this is the biggest thing ever
Don’t get a job.
Make a job.
At the time was a big deal.
We don’t know what it’s going to do
Or how it’ll make money
We just like building things that
people use
“I don’t even have an email address now!”
Identity and sense of self tied up in the project
What the hell am i doing with my life
Went on family feud
If they turn it off, we’ll build another one
32 no’s before raised money
Everybody’s trying to kill us
MIchael D’sino
Build the largest network of personal campsites
Lots and lots of people go camping
Camping hasn’t changed since the civil war
Campsite is next to the bathroom
Wiccans drinking meade under the full moon
Taking people in the city, on top of each other
Putting them in nature on top of each other, but in tents
Uber drivers of the woods
Kate Jordan
Guilting people into action doesn’t work
Going after the same 20 million people doesn’t work
Jesus was a refugee
Kate Hartman
Let’s get physical
Everybody stand up and give a little shake
Up in your business
Wearables can become a part of you
Glacier embracing
Don’t care about wearables, care about people
Super hero communicator cuff
Get me out of here look
Instead of thinking about tech
Think about interaction and design
Shrug hood
Bicep wings
James Hoff
Reconcile traditional art forms to technology
Visual arts has a hard time reaching out beyond the myopic visual arts community
Computer virus as a strategic input for creating
Art books
Artist books
Dematerialization of art
Conceptualize book as a work of art itself
Door to door artist book salesman
Stomping in the studio
Alien hand syndrome
Interested in syndromes
Weird names
Shrinking penis syndrome is a really bad meme
Using viruses to make painting
Vocoder was initially used as a spy device
Kati London
Sensors, data, autonomy and motivation in the real world
Designing new social interactions
Plants talking to each other
Plants talking to you
Plants call you
Sail the boat in real time
Sentient data service
Take something boring and make it interesting
Sentient street sign
Sentient bikes
Smarter interruptions
Pushy architecture
Ethics and design constraints
Sausage making with Fleishers
Foraging in the woods
Blacksmithing
Learn ukulele
Make electronic Wearables
Weaving or book binding
Cider making
Drones
Don’t fall in the creek
In the cabins that you sleep
Falconry
Photo walkCome on come on
Caucus for Bernie
Come on come on
Caucus right now
We can win just on enthusiasm
We’ll only win if you turn out
Come on come on
Students and nurses
Come on come on
Caucus right now
I know that it’s going to be cold
But the whole country needs your help
Come on come on
Caucus for Bernie
Come on come on
Do it and let’s show them what it’s all about
I’m sitting here 1000 miles away
I’m singing this song just so I can say
I believe in you I believe in the fight
I believe that Bernie will try to make it right
Come on come on
Caucus for Bernie
Come on come on
Caucus right now
We can win just on enthusiasm
We’ll only win if you turn out
Your toaster and your lightbulbs
And the art that hangs on your wall
They're connected to the internet
But it's not strange at all
The shift has been happening
With more flexible manufacturing
Innovation coming faster we
Are now living in the internet of things
Meanwhile all these products
Are collecting data
That can be mined and leveraged
In a thousands different ways yeah
But then look at the Sony hack
That data needs protecting
Privacy and security
Are two of the most important things
Tell me who, who, who
Will help you navigate
With exploration and debate
Of this changing landscape
CeBit Global Conferences
Digital trends and forward thinking businesses
Trailblazing technologies that will shape the year ahead
CeBit Global Conferences
Crowd sourcing
3D printing
Augmented reality
Quantified self
Autonomous systems
Sensors
And wearables
Welcome to the D!conomy
Doesn't happen incrementally
It's disruptive technology
Cereal is delicious
But has no nutritional value
You eat it sitting on the couch
Usually while you
Watch TV
Yeah you watch TV
Come sit with me
Eat cereal and watch tv
I like waffles better than pancakes
I like French toast maybe the best
But I eat cereal at the end of the day
I sit down to take a rest
Watch TV
Yeah you watch TV
Come sit with me
Eat cereal and watch tv
When I was a kid
Frosted Flakes were my jam
Now I’m just a boring
Old corn flakes kind of man
I guess I’d eat Frosted Flakes
But would feel guilty if I do
What a stupid thing to feel
Guilty over food
I only eat cereal
At my parents house
My dad he also eats it
Siting on the couch
We watch TVHe can’t call it like he sees it
When his livelihood depends
An a plane of existence
Where denial is his best friend
Suffering is everything
Who’s to say what’s real
Words fail in the space between
The true thing and the way we feel
But that just means
He’s gotta try harder
put his back into his every day
Making plans
To bring a little bit
Of order to this chaos place
She breaks every rule
That she sets down for herself
In her heart a lightsaber duel
Loopholes that get her out
It’s a heady time
To be alive, to be alive
Going about your day
Just waiting for the end to arrive
But that just means
She’s gotta try harder
Push farther every day
Making plans
To bring a little bit
Of order to this chaos placeMy name is Charles and her name is Amanda
She is 26 I'm 35
We live in Fairbanks, Alaska yet hate the cold
We Married in Las Vegas at the little white chapel on Feb 28 2013
We are expecting a baby this summer.
Her birthday is January 2 mine is June 9
We have two dogs
Our song is "I wanna grow old with you"
We meet on the internet Craig's list of all places.
Our 1st date was at a coffee house College Coffee House
I propose to her at the University at the overlook point in August 2011
We married in Las Vegas at the little white chapel on February 28 2013
Had our honey moon in Vegas
She has always wanted to have a baby
We have a baby on the way due in August
We are converting to Judaism
She likes sushi I do not like sushi
We both like Dr. Who, walking dead
Our 1st concert we saw was Bear Naked Lady's
The most recent concert we saw was Red Hot Chili peppers.
We have a goal of moving someplace warm
She likes reading cheesy Romance novels
She hates situational comedies.
She loves the muppets
She still likes her Legos.
She hates hates hates my car.
When she gets mad at me I think is cute
I can always make her smile.
We've been to Minnesota, Las Vegas and Anchorage, Ak
Some of her favorite places are
Spending time with her family
the Mall of America,
Chena Hot Springs resort,
Anchorage,
Our funny side.
When we first started dating I found out she was my younger sisters friend.
We have a strong since of humor in most of our daily activities
She'll call me at work and ask me what I'm wearing to which I reply "khakis"
(like that State Farm commercial)
If I say something smart she'll respond with "I'm going to beat a Charlie" (all in good humor)
.
We have two dogs
I propose to her at the University at the overlook point in August 2011
We married in Las Vegas at the little white chapel on February 28 2013
The most recent concert we saw was Red Hot Chili peppers.
She still likes her Legos.
We've been to Minnesota, Las Vegas and Anchorage, Ak
Some of her favorite places are
the Mall of America,
Chena Hot Springs resort,
Anchorage,
Our funny side.
When we first started dating I found out she was my younger sisters friend.
We have a strong since of humor in most of our daily activities
She'll call me at work and ask me what I'm wearing to which I reply "khakis"
(like that State Farm commercial)
If I say something smart she'll respond with "I'm going to beat a Charlie" (all in good humor)
Charlie Surprise!
His love is on fire
Don’t avert your eyes
Look into desire
He’s Charlie Surprise
His love will save us all
His love will never die
Everybody heed the call
He’s Charlie Surprise Charlotte is super smart and sensitive
And she loves wearing dresses
She makes up silly names for her toys
She loves twirling and dancing and princesses
Gemma is strong and sassy
The biggest smile you’ve ever seen
A gregarious laugh, she has a million friends
And she loves jumping on the trampoline
Charlotte is a caring big sister
Gemma follows where Charlotte goes
And mama and papa want them to be happy
For the rest of their lives as they grow and grow
Charlotte and Gemma
Gemma and Charlotte
Living in Jersey City
With mama and papa
In the noon day sun
Having fun at Scandi
Mom and dad are proud of them
Because they are who they are
They wouldn’t change a single thing about them
The future is bright as a star
*****She’s a fraternal twin
And a social butterfly
She’s had cute freckles since she was young
Brown hair and brown eyes
She’s a very hard worker
And she’s so much fun to shop with
She grew on a farm
And she’s so, so competitive
Cheryl Ellingwood
Raised 3 loving kids
When it comes to her family
She’s fiercely supportive
She’s funny as they come
Hates Jennifer Anniston
Lea, Amy, Luke and Bulwinkle
Love her bigger than the sun
She was a cheerleader
She’s so caring and kind
She’s so afraid of snakes
But will kill a spider any time
French toast
Whipped topping
Powered sugar galore
She wants so much powered sugar
You can’t see the toast no more
She could eat cinnamon toast
For every single meal
She taught her kids
to be self-reliant
She taught them how to deal
Cheryl Ellingwood
Raised 3 loving kids
When it comes to her family
She’s fiercely supportive
She’s funny as they come
Hates Jennifer Anniston
Lea, Amy, Luke and Bulwinkle
Love her bigger than the sunWe serve
Snow birds and vacationers
And oh those spring breakers
Farmers and grow houses
Rustic homesteaders
We serve the Eglin AFB
And we’re owned by our members
And it is our mission
To make their lives better
Chelco, Chelco
We make the electricity flow
Chelco, Chelco
From the Gulf to Alabama, you know
No matter where you go
Chelco, Chelco
Late night Summer thunderstorms
Can keep us up all night
We get angry phone calls
And smiles when we make it right
We keep an eye on the hurricanes
Do our best to keep you safe
We’re there when you are sleeping
And there when you’re awake
If he could bottle up her laugh
He’d be drunk all day
She’s strong and independent
And he loves her so that way
An amazing mother to
Sophia and Faith
Happy first
Anniversary
Sunbear wants to tell you
How much he loves you Chelle
You are a super woman
A beautiful bombshell
You don’t like to sleep alone
Sunbear’s never far away
He’ll be sleeping next to you
Forever and a day
Sunbear was just a client
Massages periodically
Then you started hanging out
For a couple of weeks
And then Remy took his seat
When he got up to pee
And so he sat down close to you
And you kissed during the movie
You’ve been together ever since
Watching murder shit and horror
Wander down to Tangos
Reading the newspaper
With Sebastian, Maya, Luna
Remy, Sky and Penelope
You love all your animals
With every fiber of your being
You are very verbose
And you love great scotch
You’ve got a huge heart
Used to play lacrosse
Your big personality
Lights up the town
With Borat
or Chewbacca sounds
Chewbacca and JD
Hanging out up on Onondaga Hill
Playing golf and driving around in the beemer
Talking about life
Holy cross, Simons School
Electric friends that’s just how you do
You’re passionate for whatever you’re focused on
Your laugh rings out into the great beyond
Sarah and Johnny and Patricia too
Dave and Stephanie all care about you
From one coast to the other you moved
Happy Birthday JD ooo ooo oo She knew you would be kind to her cats
She didn’t know you would love them
A sad goodbye to your dear old friends
Two new friends remind you of them
Willow and Riker oh
Raymond and Cheyenne
Don’t put cinnamon on the pizza
That’s not part of the plan
Raymond yeah Raymond
You’ll accept any dare
Talk yourself out of any trouble
You find there
For Cheyenne you hung the moon
You’ll always have her heart
From that moment in 09
To all the time you spent apart
It is forever
You’re loyal honest and deferential
Classically British boundless compassion
You love Arsenal FC, Bowie Motown and Reggae
And your adopted Miami dolphins
You buy flowers for Cheyenne
Challenge her to change her mind
Holding her purse while she shops
She loves to to the end of time
Raymond yeah Raymond
You’ll accept any dare
Talk yourself out of any trouble
You find there
For Cheyenne you hung the moon
You’ll always have her heart
From that moment in 09
To all the time you spent apart
It is foreverChicken comes from chicken
Not from a nugget tree
When you're eating nuggets
It's chicken that you eat
Chicken comes from chicken
Not from dinosaurs
Chickens go bach bach bach
You'll never hear them roar
This is chicken x4
Chicken comes from chicken
Sonya and Mike have been friends for 20 years
But suddenly 5 years ago
He started to pursue her in such a way
His intentions were undeniable
He texted and called all the time
Appeared everywhere she went
Then they got together in Portugal
Whilst on holiday with friends
They’ll retire there one day
Chicky and Monkey are getting married
She knows that he’s the right man
He takes life as it comes
She’s always got a plan
He’s calm and she’s hot headed
He’s practical and good with his hands
He’s happy at home but she gets bored
She gets them out to explore the land
They lived in Columbia for 2 years
And that’s where they got engaged
Their beautiful son was born there too
Crazy adventure days
Now they live in London
A
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