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once upon a time | |
a long time ago | |
there was a little boy and girl | |
their names were Tim and Rose | |
Tim was six years old and Rose was five | |
Tim had black hair and blue eyes | |
Rose had red hair that hung down to her waist | |
tickle tickle tickle | |
and green eyes like the sea | |
they lived with their mummy and daddy in a big log cabin made from trees with a yellow straw roof | |
and little birds made nests for the eggs in it | |
tweet tweet tweet egg egg egg | |
their daddy was a fisherman | |
and he caught fish in a big lake near the house | |
their mummy used to bake lovely fresh bread for them | |
and in the evenings by the fire she would play the trombone for them | |
they had a fluffy cat called fluffy bum | |
and a white puppy dog called pom pom | |
who was very clever and could play the piano with his tail | |
every morning Tim and Rose used to go to Lucy their cow to get some milk for their breakfast | |
but when they got to the shed where Lucy lived the door was opened and Lucy was gone | |
so the children ran to the field where Lucy used to eat the grass and they shouted | |
Lucy Lucy where are you | |
but there was no sound of Lucy anyway | |
look Rose said Tim and he pointed to the ground where they could see Lucy's hoof marks in the mud | |
let's follow them and see where she's gone said Rose | |
They started to follow the hoof marks | |
they walked and walked walked | |
are you getting tired said Tim | |
only my legs said rose | |
after a long while the children came to a big forest | |
with very big trees | |
some as tall as a church | |
and some as thick as their teachers legs at school | |
there was still no sign of Lucy the cow | |
it's getting very dark and nighttime said rose | |
we better go home or mummy and daddy will be worried about us | |
no said Tim, we must find Lucy fast | |
or she might get lost forever and we would never have milk on our eggs again | |
so on they went into the great black forest | |
but it got so dark think see where to go | |
are you frightened said Rose | |
only a - only a little bit said Tim | |
but feel so sleepy Sid Rose, so do i said Time | |
We'd better find someone to sleep soon | |
just then a little voice said hey you can come and sleep in my tree | |
oh the children looked around but couldn't see anyone | |
who said that Tim said | |
I did said a little voice | |
the children looked down and there, | |
standing in a little door at the bottom of a tree was a teeny-weeny man | |
as tiny as a matchstick | |
and he was wearing a buttercup yellow jacket black trousers with pink spots da da da da da da da da da | |
and red shiny shoes with gold buckles | |
and a white pointed hat with a sausage sown on the front | |
and with him was a green grasshopper which the little man had on a dog's lead | |
good heavens who are you said the children | |
my name is BinkleBonk he said | |
I'm a tree goblin I live in this tree | |
and this grasshopper is my guard dog and his name is silly sausage | |
then silly sausage the grasshopper dog went whoaf meow quack &*&^*&*$$ | |
what a funny grasshopper said Tim | |
he was making a funny noise | |
yeah said BinkleBonk | |
that's why I call him silly sausage | |
oh what's that | |
then they heard strange noises coming from the dark forest | |
quick quick | |
oh good heavens what was that said the children | |
oh that's that's a tin lion said BinkleBonk | |
well why did he go squeak said Tim | |
oh he gets rusty from sleeping in the rain | |
oh you'd better come inside before he comes | |
we're too big to get into that tiny door said the children | |
oh don't worry about that said BinkleBonk | |
I can make the tree grow bigger | |
you can't said the children | |
oh yes I can said BinkleBonk, watch me | |
he took his finger and he pressed a button on his suit | |
and sang this song | |
Tree Tree | |
One Two Three | |
Please Grow Very Big For Me | |
and like magic the tree got bigger and bigger and bigger | |
whoa until the door was big enough for them all to get in | |
follow me said BinkleBonk and they all ran inside and locked the door | |
they followed BinkleBonk up around and round and round staircase | |
and all the way up there were fireflies and glowworms lighting the darkness | |
when they got to the top there were two lovely little children's bedrooms | |
a white one with red roses for rose | |
and a lemon one with brown teddy bears for Tim | |
now keep your window shut tonight said BinkleBonk | |
because there are some trouser robbers in the woods | |
trouser robbers said the children | |
yes, they might rob Tims trousers | |
and in the morning poor Tim would have to go without his trousers | |
just his bare bottom and a chicken might peck it and make him jump up in the air | |
sleep tight children said BinkleBonk | |
before they went to bed BinkleBonk gave them a real goblin supper | |
some nuts, honey and some real beautiful sweet dandelion tea | |
and before they went to sleep the children asked BinkleBonkk if they had seen Lucy the cow go by the tree | |
well, a black and white cow did go by here this morning | |
Rose said was he wearing a hat | |
oh yes she was wearing a straw hat | |
hooray said the children | |
that's our Lucy | |
so the children went to sleep very very happy because they knew that their milk was still alive | |
good night Jim said Rose | |
good night Rose said Tim | |
during the night there was a terrible | |
thunderstorm with fork lightning, knife lightning and spoon lightning | |
what a funny storm said Tim | |
outside the rain was pouring onto the trees | |
lots of birds nests got full of water | |
and all the baby birdies were standing on the side and diving in like a swimming pool | |
splash, all the time the poor old Tin lion was saying oh dear all this rain is making me rusty | |
roar roar squeak squeak | |
roar roar squeak squeak | |
next morning the rain stopped and the Sun came up and said | |
come on time to get up everybody | |
I'm going to be very good today | |
I promise I will shine all day | |
and I wont hide behind any clouds | |
BinkleBonk came in and gave the children a cup of fresh grasshoppers milk some honey and fairy cakes | |
when they were dressed the children said goodbye BinkleBonk, goodbye | |
and off they went to find Lucy the cow | |
be very careful in forest said a little robin redbreast | |
because there wicked witch in there, her name - badjelly | |
she catches little children and turn them into sausage and eat them up | |
sometimes he chopped children up and make boy-girl soup | |
oh dear said the children | |
on and on they went | |
on and on until they came to a big river with water rushing over ragged rocks | |
the children didn't know how to get across | |
so they sat down to think how to do it | |
hello mind where you're sitting you silly boy said a voice from underneath Tim's bottom | |
it was a little worm | |
you big silly you nearly squashed me flat like a shoelace | |
oh I'm sorry mr. worm said Tim, what's your name | |
the worm came right out of the ground | |
and he was wearing a long thin shirt with the drawings of red noses and overdrafts on it | |
my name is Mud Wiggle said the worm | |
Oh mister Wiggle did you see a cow wearing a straw hat yesterday | |
yeah said Mud Wiggle, she trod on my tail | |
so I kung-fu'd her into the river | |
hu how ha moo, she went | |
oh you must be very strong said Tim | |
oh I'm the strongest worm in all the world | |
do you know why, because...I eat mud, lots of mud | |
the worm told the children that Lucy had swam across the river the other day | |
and he'd help'd her to get a hat out of the water | |
oh good can you help us get across said Rose | |
oh alright said Mud Wiggle I'll just put my swimming costume and overcoat on because the water might be cold | |
when he did that he got into the river | |
first ill take Rose right, get into the river Rose and hold my tale | |
come on then what are you waiting for | |
well I, which end, which end is your tale said rose | |
oh dear said Mud Wiggle. I'll wear my hat so you know which end is which | |
so he put on a big red top hat with a piece of cheese on top | |
that's in case I meet any hungry my said Mud Wiggle, who was also a Boy Scout | |
Rose got hold of his tail and the funny worm dived in and swam across | |
then he came back for Tim, | |
but when they were halfway across a huge giant killer shark saw Tim's legs swimming in the water | |
so he thought "I'll eat him up" | |
look out said rose, shark! shark! | |
the shark was just going to bite Tim when wallop! bonk! thud! | |
Mud Wiggle hit the horridible shark right on the nose | |
oh my nose, oh my nose, my poor old sharks nose said the shark, this is gonna ruin the act | |
so he swam away to the Sharks nose Hospital | |
goodby children said Mud Wiggle and swam away | |
the Sun was shining very hot | |
and soon the children's clothes were all nice and dry | |
then they saw an apple tree | |
so they plucked two big juicy red apples | |
oh my apples, my apples said the tree | |
I've never had an apple tree talk before said Rose | |
I'm not an.. I'm not an apple tree, I.. I'm really a policeman | |
but I was turned into an apple tree by the witch called Bad Jelly | |
oh I want to go back to my police station and my whistle and my jam sandwhich he said | |
the children said oh we are so sorry to hear this we can't help you because we can't do magic | |
but if we see another policeman will tell him that you're here and to bring you your whistle and your jam sandwich | |
thank you thank you very much said the policemen | |
the children went on walking until they came to a big mountain | |
but it had a big white beard on | |
ha ha ha ha what a silly mountain said the children | |
why had it got a beard on | |
a little mouse popped his head out of a hole in the ground | |
he's got a beard because hes lost his razor, said the mouse | |
well we've never heard of a mountain with a beard said Tim | |
he's very old that's why | |
and I'm not really a mouse you see, I've been turned into a mouse by Bad Jelly the terrible Witch | |
poor little furry mouse thought rose | |
what's your name said Tim | |
my name, said the mouse, is Dingle Mouse | |
but what were you before the witch turned you into a mouse said the Rose | |
I was a banana said Dingle Mouse | |
so be careful if you see her you run away from her remember the name Bad Jelly | |
the children said they would remember her name and they would hide if they saw her | |
well we must go and look for Lucy the cow now said the children | |
wait a minute wait a minute | |
can I come with you said Dingle Mouse | |
and be your friend, I got a good singing voice, just listen to this | |
Fiddle Diddle Dee | |
I'm a little flea | |
I ran up daddy's trowser legs | |
and I bit him on the knee | |
the children liked his singing and said | |
alright you can come with us and look for Lucy | |
Tim picked up Dingle Mouse and put him in his trouser pocket | |
I like travelling this way said the mouse | |
it's very dark in here said Dingle mouse | |
where is the light switch | |
Rose and Tim laughed, you silly mouse | |
you don't have a light switch in little boys trouser pockets | |
how did I know that, I never traveled by trouser pocket | |
so now they all set off to find Lucy | |
they were climbing up and hop a big mountain | |
and it was getting very cold and it started to snow | |
oh I'm freezing cold said Rose | |
I'm shivering too said Tim | |
just then a voice behind them said hello children can I help you | |
Tim turned round and saw an old woman dressed in black | |
don't be frightened she said | |
I can make you nice and warm in a few seconds | |
just get inside this nice sack and you'll be nice and warm | |
oh thank you old woman said Tim were nearly freezing to death | |
as soon as the children got into the sack the old woman screamed | |
ahhhhh got you! aggg! | |
she tied the sack up tight | |
I'm going to eat you all up because I'm Bad Jelly | |
the baddest witch in all the world | |
she put the sack on her back, jumped onto her broomstick | |
and flew, up up up into the sky | |
someone please help us shouted Tim | |
no one could hear him becuase they were very high in the sky | |
the witch took the children to a castle on top of the mountain | |
it was made of iron - ow my head | |
and only the witch had the key to get in | |
at the gate was a huge horridible monster | |
his body was red and sticky | |
it had giant eyes as big as windows | |
and sharp yellow teeth like needles | |
and its tongue was made of fire | |
and all its spit turned to steam - ptsssss it went | |
when Bad Jelly ever ate children she used to put them on the monsters fire tongue to cook them | |
the witch opened the door | |
inside was a servant, a giant called Dull Boot | |
he was as big as a house, he had purple hair, and ten eyes all round his head | |
so he could see if he had pimples on his back | |
Bad Jelly told the Giant to take the sack with the children in it | |
put them into a dark room right at the top of the prison | |
and don't let them out of the sack | |
I'm going to eat them when the Sun comes up in the morning with peanut butter | |
all right said the Giant | |
he carried the sack up thousands of steps | |
he opened the door and he threw the sack with the children in it on the cold stone floor and locked the door | |
poor Tim and Rose were crying | |
then out of Tim's pocket popped Dingle Mouse | |
don't cry, don't cry children | |
I got sharp teeth, watch this | |
and he started a nibble and nibble and he made a hole big enough for them to get out of the sack | |
Poor Rose was crying, we'll never see our mummy or daddy again | |
tomorrow the witch will eat us all up with peanut butter | |
the Sun was going down and the room was getting very dark | |
Dingle Mouse suddenly cried - I gotta idea | |
you've got an idea? I got an idea | |
I know a big strong eagle called Jim, he's my friend and he owes me money | |
I'll go try and get him | |
Dingle mouse jumped up on the ledge Boo | |
and climbed the Ivy on the outside of the tower all the way down to the ground | |
please hurry, hurry, the witchis gonna kill us the morning said the children | |
so Dingle Mouse ran as fast as he could | |
he ran so fast his tail caught fire | |
and he had to sit in a bucket of cold water to put it out | |
Oh thats better | |
Oh dear, itwas so sad. back at the children's home their mummy was crying | |
oh my poor children, my poor children, where are they | |
they daddy said I look'd everywhere dear I think some terrible animal in the forest must have eaten them | |
mother cried, I'll never be able to play the trombone to them again she said | |
by now Dingle Mouse had reached the tree where Jim the giant eagle was asleep | |
snoreeeeeee - in Eagle | |
Jim Jim wake up, Jim wake up, Jim yubba dubba do | |
Jim was a beautiful eagle with brown feathers on his body | |
white feathers on his head | |
and a big yellow beak and blue eyes | |
and he was nearly as strong as God | |
hurry up Jim - the witch is going to eath the children when the Sun comes up with peanut butter | |
so Jim the Eagle quickly took off his pajamas | |
Dingle Mouse jumped on Jim's back and away they flew | |
faster Jim faster, the Sun will soon be comming up | |
hurry hurry hurry | |
back in the prison room the children were looking out the window | |
can you see anyone coming to save us Tim said rose | |
no no I can't said Tim | |
Oh look said Rose - the Sun is starting to come up | |
listen - I can hear the witch coming up the stairs | |
I'm coming to get you screamed the witch | |
they could see her to the keyhole | |
and she had a big sharp knife | |
but wait - look said Rose, out the window | |
it's Jim the Eagle, Jim eagle is coming | |
the witch was starting to open the door | |
now Jim the Eagle flew up to he window | |
quick children get on my back hurry | |
but the witch was opening the door | |
the children were getting on Jim's back | |
stop them screamed the witch arggg stop them | |
but the children were on the mighty Eagles back | |
and the way they flew away from the terrible witch | |
and she was so angry she screamed | |
stinky poo, stinky poo nickers nickers nickers | |
then she jumped on her fastest broomstick and started to chase after the children | |
and she took a magic powder to throw on the children and turn them into Chinaman's legs | |
Jim the Eagle flew up and up and he hid inside a cloud | |
and the witch flew round and round | |
round around the clouds he flew waiting for Jim | |
and the children to come out | |
just then God came along | |
and when he saw what the Wicked Witch was going to do to Tim and Rose | |
he told the witch go away | |
no I wont, I wont said the witch | |
and tried to scratch God's eyes up so God pointed his finger in the wit's and... | |
arrrrrrrrgggg | |
the witch had burst like a bomb and disappeared in smoke | |
and her boomstick turned into a sky snake | |
that flew up to the moon | |
when Jim the Eagle saw that bad jelly was dead he flew the children back to the witch's castle to look for Lucy | |
Lucy Lucy. there she is said rose | |
and they're chained to the wall was poor Lucy | |
quickly Jim flew down next to her | |
and she was so pleased to see the Childrem she licked them on their faces | |
then she went Moooooo oh moooo | |
Jim the Eagle broke her chain with his beak | |
but then the back door of the castle opened and out came Dull Boot the Giant | |
get away from that cow it belongs to me she's my dinner he said | |
and he drew out his sword and he tried to chop the children's heads off | |
swoop swoop | |
but Jim grabbed the giant by his hair | |
ooh | |
while Dingle must jumped on the giant, nibbled his belt | |
and down came the Giants trousers | |
oh oh help said the Giant | |
I'm showing my bare bottom and he ran away to bare-bottomed land | |
now we're all safe said Tim | |
Hurray said everybody | |
yes thanks to Dingle Mouse and Jim said rose | |
and she gave them both a beautiful big kiss | |
then Jim got the children and Dingle Mouse on his back | |
he grabbed Lucy's horns in his strong claws | |
and he flew up up and flew them all the way back to their home | |
but when their mummy and daddy saw them fly down on the back of a giant eagle with Lucy hanging underneath | |
they got frightened, and ran inside the house and hid | |
don't be frightened mummy and daddy said Tim and Rose he's only an eagle | |
oh no no we're frightened, we're frightened to come out, that giant eagle, he'll kill us | |
no he won't said Rose and Tim, he's friendly, he's kind, he'll help you | |
alright then if you say so | |
down through down they flew and landed | |
don't be frightened mummy and daddy | |
Jim is a kind eagle he saved our lives said Tim and Rose and they landed | |
and at up popped Dingle Mouse | |
oh so did I help save their lives too - he said | |
so mummy and daddy came out with a big bag of jelly babies and cream cakes | |
and they gave him to Jim and Dingle Mouse | |
and they all played Ring-o-Rosie's | |
and then they blindfolded Lucy and played blind cows bluff | |
and then they lived happily ever after | |
goodnight children, goodnight |
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