gistfile1.rb

#!/usr/bin/env ruby
require 'net/telnet'
require 'terminal-table'

tbl       = Terminal::Table.new headings: %w(id expires cache_key bytes)
localhost = Net::Telnet::new("Host" => "localhost", "Port" => 11211, "Timeout" => 3)
matches   = localhost.cmd("String" => "stats items", "Match" => /^END/).scan(/STAT items:(\d+):number (\d+)/)

slabs = matches.inject([]) { |items, item| items << Hash[*['id','items'].zip(item).flatten]; items }

slabs.each do |slab|
  localhost.cmd("String" => "stats cachedump #{slab['id']} #{slab['items']}", "Match" => /^END/) do |c|
    matches = c.scan(/^ITEM (.+?) \[(\d+) b; (\d+) s\]$/).each do |key_data|
      cache_key, bytes, expires_time = key_data
      tbl << [slab['id'], Time.at(expires_time.to_i), cache_key, bytes]
    end
  end
end

puts tbl
localhost.close