Outputs numbers as words with proper conjunctions - like you'd see on a wedding invite

wedding_number.rb

def weddingNumber number
  if number < 0  # No negative numbers.
    return 'Please enter a number that isn\'t negative.'
  end
  if number == 0
    return 'zero'
  end

  # No more special cases! No more returns!

  numString = ''  # This is the string we will return.

  onesPlace = ['one',     'two',       'three',    'four',     'five',
               'six',     'seven',     'eight',    'nine']
  tensPlace = ['ten',     'twenty',    'thirty',   'forty',    'fifty',
               'sixty',   'seventy',   'eighty',   'ninety']
  teenagers = ['eleven',  'twelve',    'thirteen', 'fourteen', 'fifteen',
               'sixteen', 'seventeen', 'eighteen', 'nineteen']

  # "left" is how much of the number we still have left to write out.
  # "write" is the part we are writing out right now.
  # write and left... get it?  :)
  left  = number

  write = left/1000          #  How many thousands left to write out?
  left  = left - write*1000  #  Subtract off those thousands.

  if write > 0
    thousands  = weddingNumber write
    numString = numString + thousands + ' thousand'

    if left > 0
      numString = numString + ' and '
    end
  end

  write = left/100          # How many hundreds left to write out?
  left  = left - write*100  # Subtract off those hundreds.

  if write > 0
    # Now here's a really sly trick:
    hundreds  = weddingNumber write
    numString = numString + hundreds + ' hundred'
    # That's called "recursion". So what did I just do?
    # I told this method to call itself, but with "write" instead of
    # "number". Remember that "write" is (at the moment) the number of
    # hundreds we have to write out. After we add "hundreds" to
    # "numString", we add the string ' hundred' after it.
    # So, for example, if we originally called weddingNumber with
    # 1999 (so "number" = 1999), then at this point "write" would
    # be 19, and "left" would be 99. The laziest thing to do at this
    # point is to have weddingNumber write out the 'nineteen' for us,
    # then we write out ' hundred', and then the rest of
    # weddingNumber writes out 'ninety-nine'.

    if left > 0
      # So we don't write 'two hundredfifty-one'...
      numString = numString + ' and '
    end
  end

  write = left/10          # How many tens left to write out?
  left  = left - write*10  # Subtract off those tens.

  if write > 0
    if ((write == 1) and (left > 0))
      # Since we can't write "tenty-two" instead of "twelve",
      # we have to make a special exception for these.
      numString = numString + teenagers[left-1]
      # The "-1" is because teenagers[3] is 'fourteen', not 'thirteen'.

      # Since we took care of the digit in the ones place already,
      # we have nothing left to write.
      left = 0
    else
      numString = numString + tensPlace[write-1]
      # The "-1" is because tensPlace[3] is 'forty', not 'thirty'.
    end

    if left > 0
      # So we don't write 'sixtyfour'...
      numString = numString + '-'
    end
  end

  write = left  # How many ones left to write out?
  left  = 0     # Subtract off those ones.

  if write > 0
    numString = numString + onesPlace[write-1]
    # The "-1" is because onesPlace[3] is 'four', not 'three'.
  end

  # Now we just return "numString"...
  numString
end

puts weddingNumber(  0)
puts weddingNumber(  9)
puts weddingNumber( 10)
puts weddingNumber( 11)
puts weddingNumber( 17)
puts weddingNumber( 32)
puts weddingNumber( 88)
puts weddingNumber( 99)
puts weddingNumber(100)
puts weddingNumber(101)
puts weddingNumber(234)
puts weddingNumber(1984)
puts weddingNumber(3211)
puts weddingNumber(999999)
puts weddingNumber(1000000000000)