The website https://transequality.org has really great, comprehensive information, which covers many different situations. It is, however, a bit complicated and dense.
We distilled this information into this step-by-step recipe, with our specific case (and a few tweaks from hindsight), which is what we wish we had starting out.
If your case is similar, this may work for you:
- we're his biological parents
- we're still married and all live together
- we've lived in Massachussetts for the child's whole life
- we both agreed to the change
- the child is too young to have a driver's license
- the child already had a passport with their old name
This is the easiest thing to do (in terms of paperwork). Just ask your school principal, they should be able to just change the name in the system, without much additional work. This includes state systems connected to the town, such as MCAS.
Note that is for name change ONLY, NOT gender. You need a court order to change the name on the birth certificate, but you don't need it to change the gender; so its easiest to do the name change first.
You go to your local family & probate court (we went to the Middlesex Family & Probate court in Cambridge) and file the paperwork (see below) in person.
By default, you're required to publish the name change in a local newspaper. For a trans kid, you probably don't want to do that, so while you're there, you can also ask for a court date for a publication waiver. It's a hassle to schedule and make the court date, but the judge will almost certainly grant the waiver with no questions, because it's obviously not in the best interest of a minor to avertise their name/gender change.
For the publication waiver, we were also asked for a reason: we said we didn't our child's name change published because we were concerned for their safety and privacy. This is both totally honest, and also exactly the thing the judge wants to hear.
When this is all done, you'll get a court order for the name change in the mail. Now you're ready for step 3!
Prepare and bring all of the following to the court:
- Notarized name change petition:
- https://www.mass.gov/info-details/probate-and-family-court-petition-to-change-name-of-minor-cjp-25
- GET THIS NOTARIZED!!! Most bank branches will have a notary you can use for free.
- This form asks for a reason for the name change: you should be 100% honest and straightforward about the child being transgender, as this is now well protected by law in Massachusetts.
- Record release form: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/probate-and-family-court-court-activity-record-information-and-warrant-management
- Child's long form birth certificate
- They'll want to keep your birth certificate and mail it back with the court order.
- Checkbook and credit card
- Just in case, bring the following (there was some conflicting info online about this; better safe than sorry):
- the parents' drivers' licenses
- the parents' passports
- the parents' marriage certificate
- https://transequality.org/documents/state/massachusetts
- https://www.mass.gov/how-to/change-the-name-of-a-child-under-18
This is for BOTH NAME AND GENDER change.
This will get you an amended birth certificate, which will finalize your child's official name and gender change with the state. Having a birth certificate with the new name and gender makes the subsequent steps for the federal government possible.
Bring the forms below to the town hall of your child's birthplace (i.e. the town where the hospital was -- NOT town of residence at time of birth!).
Call ahead and try to make an appointment. In our town hall, there was one lady who could do it, and she was on vacation when we first went.
- Court order for name change (from step 2)
- Physicians notarized statement
- Ask your child's doctor to use this form: https://www.mass.gov/files/documents/2016/07/rc/r-115-physician-statement-birth-certificate-amendment-following-sex-reassignment.pdf
- Our doctor copied the content of the form onto hospital letterhead
- Applicant Affidavit: https://www.mass.gov/files/documents/2016/07/su/r-116-applicant-affidavit-birth-certificate-amendment-following-sex-reassignment.pdf
- Just in case: Parent's licenses, passports, marriage certificate
- Checkbook (and a credit card just in case)
- Instead of the town hall, you can alternatively go to the Registry of Vital Records and Statistics in Dorchester
- You can get extra copies of the amended birth certificate. They're not very expensive, and totally worth it; you'll need them. Get a couple.
This is for BOTH NAME AND GENDER change.
Though not strictly necessary, this gives you a foothold into the federal system; social security changes will be easier with a passport.
BOTH parents and the child must appear in person at a passport office
- https://eforms.state.gov/Forms/ds11.pdf
- DO NOT SIGN!!! You have to sign it in front of them.
- Court name change order (from step 2)
- Court name change order photocopy
- Physicians letter notarized: https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/id/Physician%20Letter%202018.docx
- Passport photo (from CVS, etc)
- Child's amended birth cert
- Child's amended birth cert photocopy 8.5 x 11
- Both parents drivers' license
- Both parents drivers' license photocopy 8.5 x 11
- Checkbook and $150 cash
- https://transequality.org/know-your-rights/passports
- https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/apply-renew-passport/under-16.html
- https://www.uspassporthelpguide.com/passport/massachusetts/
This is for BOTH NAME AND GENDER change.
This changes the marker for most important federal systems. Taxes, background checks, insurance, etc.
File in person by making an appointment at your local social security office: https://secure.ssa.gov/ICON/main.jsp.
- Application: https://www.ssa.gov/forms/ss-5.pdf
- Doctor's letter notarized (same from passport: https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/id/Physician%20Letter%202018.docx)
- Child's amended birth certificate
- Court order name change
- Child's passport
- Checkbook and credit card
- Just in case: parent's licenses, passports, marriage certificate
Call places to change the name and gender marker.
- Insurance companies
- Doctors' offices
- Dentist
- Talk to your lawyer about updating wills and trusts
- Financial advisor/bank (i.e. 529s, other accounts)
- Haircutters
- Activities, camps
- Bouncy birthday places
- Online accounts: google, spotify, social media
- Ask physician for both notarized forms at the same time (one for Mass birth cert, one for US passport)
- Some PDFs don't open in chrome, use IE or download and use acrobat reader