crazify.rb

# http://www.columbia.edu/~fms5/ult03.htm 
# first 2 paragraphs of Proteus, from Ulysses
corpus = "Ineluctable modality of the visible: at least that if no more, thought through my eyes. Signatures of all things I am here to read, seaspawn and seawrack, the nearing tide, that rusty boot. Snotgreen, bluesilver, rust: coloured signs. Limits of the diaphane. But he adds: in bodies. Then he was aware of them bodies before of them coloured. How? By knocking his sconce against them, sure. Go easy. Bald he was and a millionaire, maestro di color che sanno. Limit of the diaphane in. Why in? Diaphane, adiaphane. If you can put your five fingers through it it is a gate, if not a door. Shut your eyes and see. Stephen closed his eyes to hear his boots crush crackling wrack and shells. You are walking through it howsomever. I am, a stride at a time. A very short space of time through very short times of space. Five, six: the Nacheinander. Exactly: and that is the ineluctable modality of the audible.  Open your eyes. No. Jesus! If I fell over a cliff that beetles o'er his base, fell through the Nebeneinander ineluctably! I am getting on nicely in the dark.  My ash sword hangs at my side. Tap with it: they do. My two feet in his boots are at the ends of his legs, nebeneinander. Sounds solid: made by the mallet of Los demiurgos. Am I walking into eternity along Sandymount strand? Crush, crack, crick, crick. Wild sea money. Dominie Deasy kens them all."

words = corpus.downcase.gsub(/[^ a-z]/,'').split(/\s+/)

sort = ->(word) {
  word.split('').sort.reverse.join('')
}
shuffle = ->(word) {
  word.split('').shuffle.join('')
}

crazify = shuffle

puts words.map {|word|
  word[0] + crazify[word[1..-2]] + word[-1]
}.join(' ')