Annoying bashrc snippet that makes using the terminal horrendous. Place this file right at the tail end of a users' bashrc to give them 15 minutes of puzzling entertainment. Please contribute if you have ideas.

.make_me_gui_bashrc

# https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/250713/modify-all-bash-commands-through-a-program-before-executing-them
# $BASH_COMMAND contains the command bash is executing
# return 0 to allow $BASH_COMMAND to be evaled after function return
# return 1 to tell bash not to eval $BASH_COMMAND after function return
# requires figlet, cowsay and sl to be installed
shopt -s extdebug
preexec_invoke_exec () {
	# do nothing if completing
	[ -n "$COMP_LINE" ] && return
	# do nothing if executing a command to issue a prompt
	[ "$BASH_COMMAND" = "$PROMPT_COMMAND" ] && return
    
    if [ -n "$BASH_COMMAND" ]; then
        echo "$BASH_COMMAND" | figlet | cowsay -n
    fi

    # This is the graphical terminal on a raspberry pi, change as needed.
    # CHANGEME
    lxterminal

    # COWS
    if [[ "$BASH_COMMAND" =~ man ]]; then
        man cowsay
        return 1;
    elif [[ "$BASH_COMMAND" =~ lxterminal ]]; then
        return 0;
    elif [[ "$BASH_COMMAND" =~ which|alias|vim|vi|nano|gedit|emacs|apt|sudo|perl|zsh|sh|rm|mv|cp ]]; then
        echo "nah"
        return 1;
    elif [[ "$BASH_COMMAND" =~ ls|pwd|cd|dir|cat|sed ]]; then
        sl
        figlet choo choo | cowsay -n
    elif [[ "$BASH_COMMAND" =~ exit ]]; then
        figlet please dont leave | cowsay -gn
        return 1;
    fi

    return 0;
}

trap preexec_invoke_exec DEBUG