I scored highest on "Professional", and under that category, I resonate the most deeply with grit. My greatest strength is my grit. I can persevere through difficult situations and trust myself to take the right actions to accomplish goals. This resiliency has empowered me to think creatively, ask for help, and fostered a deep trust within that I can achieve outcomes. I don't lose sleep over people's opinions of me. This confidence also allows me to have a track record to reflect upon when I do get stuck. When times are tough, I reflect on numerous past experiences to remind myself that I can persevere and succeed. It's not arrogance, as I let my actions speak for themselves.
I work best when given the criteria, deadline, and tools for a given project, and am then left alone to complete it. I am a natural-born leader. I am charismatic and I enjoy managing projects and people, and I hate being controlling or micro-managing. I don't like it done to me, and I don't want to do it to others. I like structure, clear communication, and well-defined roles. I dislike being second-guessed. I am honest in feedback, for better or for worse.
I wish I had a softer heart. I tend to have a strong sense of right and wrong, and after I voice my opinions or proposed strategies, if I feel unheard or unvalued, I will break off from the team. I also am distrustful of authority until the authority figure in question proves otherwise. I wish I was more relaxed internally. The intensity stems from a lack of trust in others, really, and I would like to be a better team player in that area.
I appreciate that this career is not dissimilar to my favorite pasttime-- solving puzzles. I enjoy the independent work. the drama of the puzzle journey: confusion, stress, and reward. I aim to maximize my leadership and independence by cultivating a softer heart so that I can develop closer relationships with my clients and staff team. I also expect my strength of resiliency will help me complete Turing and to take on tough projects in the workforce, leading to raises and promotions.
Self-knowledge / self-awareness will help me to decide which company to work for. After researching and interviewing with a company, I can discern whether or not it will be a good fit. I love working near people, as I am social, but it would be ideal if I had an independent role or worked with a small team. This knowledge will also help me navigate relationships in the workplace and with clients. I like being clear about expectations and being confident in my boundaries and in the project participants' boundaries helps keep everything in check. I also expect this knowledge will determine what projects I take on-- I have strong values, and I won't take on a client or project that I don't trust or believe in. It's very possible I have a small network but churn out great product because of my own boundaries.
What efforts do you make to manage your learning process? Are these efforts successful? What challenges have inhibited your ability to manage your learning process effectively?
My efforts include hyper-research, asking questions, understanding very clearly what needs to be accomplished, and what skills I have in the moment to determine which direction to grow. I make lists with sub-sections, calendars, and reminders to ensure I stay on path. These have been successful. What hinders my learning or growth, is an unpredictable authority figure, may it be a boss or professor. I respect clear communication and goals, and changing of the mind or plan after spending hours going in one direction is cognitively draining. I am currently in a situation at work where my boss says one thing one week, and changes it the next. This is a frequent occurrence. She also changes her feedback on me often-- one week I'm a rockstar, the next I am not satisfying her and she's concerned for me, and then the next week it is back to high praises. This yo-yo instability carves away at trust and potential for growth. However, when I decided to look for a new job or career a few months ago, I used these goals to motivate me to take on new projects and to be uncomfortable with being terrible at a new skill. I figured learning new skills was less uncomfortable than remaining at a dead-end role in an organization. I can use terrible situations to motivate me to act.
"But I also feel like I am getting better at stumbling."- Coates; "Willpower is cognitively draining."- Sierra. These two quotes stuck out to me in this assignment because the stumbling and struggling takes willpower to overcome, which is exhausting. It is exhausting and humbling to be new at something. Humble pie tastes terribly. However, I believe being stuck is more exhausting, and that is the motivation. The mastery, the confidence, the energy rejuvenation when success is attained. That's the game. I don't remember the suffering, I remember the feeling of pride. I'm thankful Coates and Sierra reminded us that sucking at something is part of the game, but it's not the end game.
What role does your emotional state of mind play in your learning? How do your successes and failures at learning affect your emotional state?
My emotional state certainly plays a role, but it's rare it's at the work itself and is more at the boss. My productivity suffers if my boss is difficult, not if the project itself is difficult. I will give up on a boss, but I won't give up on a project. A difficult boss depletes me of cognitive resources to be creative towards projects or solutions. I will shut down if I'm concerned with an inner voice responding to a boss's unfair comment. I also notice that the more stressed I am, the sloppier my product quality. However, when I evaluate myself, I remind myself there are other perspectives or solutions, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can improve, and I will improve, so what is the new approach so this may happen?
I plan to continue my organization practices, develop relationships with faculty and peers, and have an end goal to serve as motivation when the tunnel is dark. Turing is temporary. This 7-month intensive is setting us up for success, and to use this time of confusion and frustration and failure to dig my ankles in and take advantage of the fact that it is a learning environment. Sink or swim. If I can't swim on my own, I understand asking for help, using tools like Google and peers and faculty, and making mistakes is how I will learn how to do it on my own. The alternative is a death drowning. Turing would be a very expensive drown. The obvious should also be included: maintaining a social life, active fitness, healthy diet, etc.